Poison Ivy

Poison Ivy.

A few weeks ago, I was in Miami with my husband. We sat outside on the lanai one evening, and before I realized it, the mosquitoes had feasted on my feet and legs. Mosquitoes love me. I’m one of those people.

The next day, my husband caught me singing a song as I walked around. He stopped me and asked, “What are you singing?!?” I said, “Poison Ivy by The Coasters.” He had never heard it, and if you’re under 65 (maybe 70), chances are, you haven’t ever heard it either. I explained to him that, when I was in college, I went to a fraternity cocktail party where they had an old band called The Coasters playing. They sang some songs you might know like Charlie Brown and Yakkity Yak, and they also sang Poison Ivy. But why was I singing Poison Ivy on that day in Miami? I was singing it, because of the mosquito bites on my feet and legs. There’s a line in the song that says, “It’s gonna take an ocean…of calamine lotion…” I was thinking of how I needed some calamine lotion for my mosquito bites, and that made the song pop into my head.

And that’s when my husband told me he had never heard the song. Being the good wife I am, I had to play it for him, so I found it in Apple Music on my phone, cranked up the volume, and danced around the condo while playing Poison Ivy for him. Much to my surprise, he loved it! I still cannot believe he had never heard it, but he says it’s true. We laughed and sang that song for the rest of the trip. Anytime he could catch me off guard and wanted to make me laugh, he would suddenly play that song on his phone.

To see The Coasters play Poison Ivy, click here.

Fast forward a few weeks to last Friday night. One of my dearest friends of all time lives in Florida. She has two grown children, one of whom is a young man who recently graduated from Florida State University. He and two friends were driving from Florida to Maine, where they will be working at a summer camp, and they stayed at our house Friday night. We all laughed and talked while enjoying cocktails, and at some point, my husband played Poison Ivy on his phone. He was trying to make me laugh, and he was successful. I then explained all the background on the story to our young friends, and we all listened to the song together. Yes, alcohol was involved, but that song sort of became the theme of the evening.

They left early the next morning on a six-day drive to Maine, with stops in New Jersey, New York, Boston, and more…quite an adventure! Several times during their travels, I have received texts from my friend’s son. One text, on Monday, was simply a photo of the radio screen in their car with a short message that said, “We’re still listening!” It showed they were listening to Poison Ivy by The Coasters. I replied, “OMG! Maybe y’all can perform some Coasters tunes at the camp talent show!” Wednesday (yesterday), I received a text in which he said, “We were with [the girl traveler’s] great aunt, and she was delighted to hear that we wanted to play Poison Ivy in the car.” I replied with laughing face emojis and said, “I’m dead!” And then, today, I texted to them, “My husband is playing Poison Ivy right now. When it tops the charts again, we are going to take all the credit!” His response? “We already made a pact for it to be one of our most played songs at camp. We’re gonna put everybody on it!”

It’s a catchy tune, my friends. Once you listen to it, it is forever embedded in your brain! Until recently, it conjured up fun memories from college, but now, it also conjures up great memories of Miami with my husband and a fun evening with our guests! I’m thinking it’s going to hit the Top 40 within a few months, simply because we revived it!

Amazon Deals for the Kitchen

Amazon Deals for the kitchen.

My husband loves to purchase small kitchen appliances. I don’t know why, but he does. I suppose I should be grateful, because I never have to do it. And he knows the good small appliances! Here are some good ones that are offered at discounted prices at Amazon right now:

  • KitchenAid Mixer. (see photo below) Everybody knows KitchenAid makes a great mixer, right? Get one for a discounted price at Amazon here. It’s regularly $329. Get it now for about $292.
  • KitchenAid Food Chopper. It’s not a necessity, but it’s an inexpensive luxury. Get the silver one right now from Amazon for $44.99, while other colors are about $55. See it here.
  • Single cup Keurig Coffeemaker. Priced right now at just under $60, this single cup coffeemaker is 25% off! Great for dorms or home. Get it here.
  • Glass Purse Vase. Want to brighten your kitchen with a conversation piece? Fill a lovely purse-shaped vase with colorful flowers for your countertop or tabletop. It’s offered in several colors, and it’s less than $30! Purchase here. ***It is a vase, not a handbag. Picture below is simply for illustration.
  • Cuisinart Toaster Convection Oven. I love Cuisinart toaster ovens, but there are lots of different models. The best thing about them? You don’t have to wait for an oven to heat. The most basic model I see on Amazon is a classic toaster oven for about $99 here. Then, there’s a slightly dressed up model that includes convection (like an air fryer) for $119 here. Need a more “deluxe” model? You can have one that offers all that plus precision temperature setting here. But if you want the big daddy of toaster ovens, the Cuisinart Air Fryer + Convection Toaster Oven, 8-1 Oven with Bake, Grill, Broil & Warm Options for $197, discounted from $229.95 here.
  • Ninja Air Fryer. Great for home, camping, or even dorm…if its allowed. This air fryer gets great reviews, and I have used it myself! Get it for 23% off at $99.99 here.
  • Lifestraw Water Filter Dispenser. I love the Lifestraw brand! I think they make quality products, so you’ll see that I mention them often. This water filter dispenser holds 18 cups of water and cleans it all. It’s the only water filter dispenser that filters out bacteria and parasites in additions to lead, mercury, and microplastics. Get it for home, office, dorm, or camping! Priced at $47.28, it’s a deal! Its normally about $65. Don’t hesitate on this deal! Get it here.
  • White Metal Canister Set. Pebble and Stem makes a great set of four canisters for your countertop in your kitchen…and they’re right on trend! Check them out for 30% off at $34.96 here.

  • Pantry Storage Organizer Bins. I admire people who have organized pantries. Therefore, I am resolving to get mine organized with these clear plastic pantry storage organizer bins. Right now, in a limited time deal, Amazon is offering them at 40% off for $21.24 for SIX bins! Its a great deal. Check it out here.

That’s what I have found recently in kitchen deals. Take advantage of them while you can! I will post more as I see them!

Retreat

Retreat. It’s a word I never want to hear unless someone is telling me to run from a bear, as in, “Retreat! There’s a bear!” Chances are I will never hear that, since I never put myself in a place where bears are…but that’s a story for another day. Today, I’m talking about retreats.

Years ago, a friend invited me to join her on a “ladies retreat.” I’m sure I asked her to repeat the question, because I couldn’t have heard her correctly. I was thinking, “Clearly, she doesn’t know me well. If she did, she would know I think the very idea of a ladies retreat sounds like Hell on earth.” No joke. Very little sounds worse to me than women going up to some little camp in the mountains, sitting around talking about their feelings. Yuck. I don’t mean to be offensive. I know some people love that stuff. I’m just not one of them. The last thing I want to do is be holed up somewhere with a random bunch of women. Don’t get me wrong. I love my friends, but I’m picky about how I spend my time. My time is valuable, y’all, so I’m choosy about who I spend it with. The older I get, the pickier I am. I barely have enough time to spend with my real friends. I’d much rather pick some fun stuff to do with them than go on some “ladies retreat.” It’s just who I am. No excuses.

For years, I’ve believed “retreat” is just another word for “mandatory, forced fun,” which doesn’t sound like fun at all. I hear about people going on work retreats, church retreats (***those were actually fun when I was a teenager and they were co-ed***), ladies retreats, and my personal favorite…a retreat for students at school. Nothing says “mandatory, forced fun” more than a school retreat.

Our daughter is starting her senior year in high school. She has endured more than a few school retreats. And when I say “endured,” I mean it. I’m not talking bad about the school. I’m just saying she has her mama’s genes…she hates the idea of “retreats,” too. We also hate the word “mandatory,” and it seems that’s always attached to a school retreat. I wish I could remember which grade was which retreat. One year, they went to a YMCA camp. Maybe 5th grade? I don’t remember, but I do remember that I volunteered to chaperone overnight, which meant I got to sleep on one of those horrible plastic-wrapped, thin, noisy camp mattresses in a cabin with a bunch of girls. It was not fun. It was fun spending time with the girls, but the sleep quality was nothing short of miserable. One girl in the bunk next to mine tossed and turned and tossed and turned, and because of the awful plastic mattress, I heard every toss and every turn. Eventually, I whispered, “Is there a problem?” No answer, but the tossing and turning stopped. Soon thereafter, I fell asleep, but every time someone moved, I awoke in a panic, because I thought someone was falling out of a top bunk. Fortunately, that didn’t happen. But one night was enough for me. It was enough for my daughter too. The next morning, she begged me to take her home with me, but she had to stay for more activities. Poor kid. I felt terrible for her, because I wouldn’t have wanted to be there either.

Because I went on that trip, I never had to do another one. I was off the hook, but our daughter wasn’t. She’s like me…she loves not camping. And that’s OK! Give me a nice hotel with room service any day of the week, but please don’t ever ask me to sleep in a cabin, a tent, or an RV. We simply aren’t those people. The next year, when the “retreat” rolled around, she was begging me not to make her go. We were sitting in her bed two nights before. She was already dreading it. I was explaining that she had to go. You know…”it might be fun!” I knew she didn’t want to sleep in a cabin. And while we were talking, I noticed a nasty-looking bump/wound on her knee. When I said, “That looks like a staph infection to me! You might not have to go if it’s a staph infection,” she couldn’t believe her good luck! I circled it with a Sharpie, to see if the redness grew overnight. I’m sure she prayed for it to be a staph infection that night. The next morning, the redness had expanded outside the Sharpie circle, so I took her to the doctor, and the doctor confirmed it: staph infection. She prescribed an oral antibiotic and ordered her to stay home from the retreat. Success! Who knew she’d be so happy to have a staph infection?!?

There was another retreat the next year, and maybe the next year. I have trouble keeping up with all the mandatory, forced fun. And then today, she had her senior mandatory, forced fun…a day trip (in the rain) to a local camp, where they had a book talk about their mandatory (ugh) summer reading (for over an hour!) before having lunch (she ate Oreos) and swimming in a “lake.” I should also note here that we don’t do warm, brown water, as in lake water. On the rare occasion, I have had to get in a warm lake, but generally speaking, it’s not my thing. I don’t mind it up north, where the lakes are cold, but in the south, the brown water just feels like it’s teeming with bacteria and snakes…lots of snakes. No, thank you. (No offense to the lake lovers of the world. It’s just not my thing.) As I’ve heard before, “I’m outdoorsy in that I like having cocktails on the patio.” That’s a joke, of course; I like outdoor activities…just not in warm brown water.

Today, she rode the bus to and from the “retreat” with her classmates and tolerated the mandatory, forced fun. They rode home on a hot bus filled with seniors. I did the math. Statistically, at least a few of them must have COVID. There were 140 kids on buses. (Yes, the plural of “bus” is “buses.” “Busses” would be kisses. If you doubt me, click here.) Praying there isn’t a giant outbreak from the mandatory, forced fun.

The good news? The “retreat” is over. Thank you, Lord. And now we proceed with her final year of high school.

So, if you ever plan a “ladies retreat,” please don’t invite me. It won’t hurt my feelings.