Keep passing the open windows.

Words to live by, if you understand the meaning behind them. In 1990, my mother gave me a hardback copy of The Hotel New Hampshire by John Irving. I probably wouldn’t have picked it up if I had seen it in a bookstore, but since she gave it to me, I read it. And I loved it. Yes, it’s a weird novel…a little absurd…but it’s good. It’s memorable. If you’ve ever read John Irving, you know he has some pretty crazy ideas in Cider House Rules, A Prayer for Own Meany and The World According to Garp, and The Hotel New Hampshire is no exception. It was also made into a film starring Rob Lowe, Jodie Foster, Beau Bridges, and more, but the film did not do well. In fact, when I met Rob Lowe a few years ago, I mentioned it, and he said, “YOU are the one person who saw it!”

In the novel, the Berry family often uses the catchphrase “keep passing the open windows” to encourage each other to persevere, keep moving forward. It comes from a story the parents tell of a street performer who killed himself by jumping out a window. “Keep passing the open windows” is a phrase they use to tell their kids, when things get bad, keep moving forward. The windows are there, but refrain from jumping through them.

It’s a metaphor. Don’t think I’m saying “keep passing the open windows” to someone considering suicide. That’s a lot more complicated. But smaller issues or problems? “Keep passing the open windows” might be exactly what a friend or family member needs to hear. Persevere. Keep moving forward.

Personally, I have thought of this phrase many times in my life, and I have said it and explained it many times over the years. In fact, I have likely used it several times in the last month! If my daughter calls and tells me she didn’t do well on a test in college, it’s what I say, “Keep passing the open windows.”

Last night, my college football team lost a big game in the playoffs. And you know what I thought? “Keep passing the open windows.” No, I was not contemplating suicide. The loss was simply a blip on the radar of life…nothing big, for sure. Life and death…that’s important. College football games = not important. However, I still needed to manage the disappointment, and for me, the key to managing disappointment (or passing the open windows) is having something else to look forward to all the time. Right now, I have a trip planned with a friend in 10 days, so after my team lost and I knew they wouldn’t be in the National Championship, I turned my attention to the trip I have coming up. I pivoted my attention to that trip! Is it always easy? No, but it’s pretty easy after the minor problem of a football loss, and it’s always a lot easier if I already have something fun planned, so disappointment won’t hit me so hard. It works for me! I’m not one bit sad today about that loss, because I know there’s some fun ahead!

Find your way of passing the open windows when you’re disappointed. It sure makes it easier to keep moving forward.

Keep passing the open windows.

***If you’d like to read some John Irving novels (I highly recommend them!), you can purchase them at Amazon. My personal favorites are A Prayer for Owen Meany (click here), The Hotel New Hampshire (click here), and Cider House Rules (click here).