NYC doorman welcoming female tenants at entrance

Preparing for the Post-College Move/Job

Preparing for the post-college move/job.

The movers arrive in ten days. They will scoop up a bed, mattress, dresser, night stands, vanity/desk, chair for said vanity/desk, some wardrobe boxes, and some boxes full of our daughter’s personal effects and drive them to New York. “Personal effects” sounds like a prison term, but whatever. There’s not a whole lot to move, fortunately, because her roommate has her own stuff and some living room stuff too. I’m guessing I will buy whatever living room and kitchen stuff they still need after they get there. Or maybe I should say “after I get there.” There is a very real possibility that I will have to be there to accept my daughter’s belongings when they arrive in New York, because she might still be enjoying a long weekend at Lollapalooza in Chicago.

A mother’s work is never done.

The movers pick up in ten days, and once they pick up, they will call me to let me know when they will be arriving at her apartment in New York. Chances are, I will have less than 24 hours to get there to meet them, so I will keep a bag packed (much like when we were awaiting her arrival into the world) so I can hop on a plane immediately and get there. And I will wait for them. However, I’m not sleeping in the apartment, because I like to sleep in a meat locker, and they just won’t have that apartment cold enough for me. I will stay in a hotel, thank you very much. If my daughter isn’t there yet, I will supervise the delivery of the furniture and boxes without her. We have drawn up plans for how/where she wants her bedroom furniture placed. If she is there, I will be there for moral support and to take her shopping for whatever she needs. Not gonna lie…moving to New York isn’t cheap. Heck, moving anywhere is expensive, but moving to New York is especially expensive.

Add in all the time required to move there. First, we had to find an apartment. That can take a while, but we were very fortunate in that regard, as she has a lovely roommate who had boots on the ground, and we (she) found an apartment pretty darn quickly. We paid the deposit, filled out the application, went through the application process (not fun), and secured the apartment in a good part of town. Don’t get me wrong…there was a lot of worry involved for me. I had visions of never finding an apartment, but our “boots on the ground” came through! It’s actually a pretty roomy apartment by New York standards, and I am so excited for them to live there. They will even have a skyline view, a rooftop garden, a 24-hour doorman, a gym, and their very own balcony. Win! We haven’t actually seen the apartment yet, but the “boots on the ground” did send us a video, and we were happy with it. Additionally, I have spent time communicating with the movers, and I have had to communicate with them repeatedly. If you ever plan to move to New York or plan to move one of your kids to New York, you should know in advance that the movers will need to send a Certificate of Insurance to move you in. Otherwise…no dice. The building will not let them in without it. It’s not difficult to get from most movers, but it’s something you have to do. Since our daughter is working at an internship in Charlotte this summer, I have tried to help her with some other things too…like getting the electricity at the apartment put in her name. The roommate secured the wifi service.

I find myself feeling sort of how I felt when we were getting ready to send her off to college for freshman year. The foyer is filling up with boxes just like it did then. The garage is holding the furniture we ordered. There are boxes everywhere as I wait for her to pack them with her “personal effects.” Fortunately, she banks with a large international bank, so she won’t have to open a new account after she moves. She will need to find a new doctor and dentist after she settles in, but she has seen both locally in the past month, so she should be good to go until she finds someone.

And honestly, we won’t know what we are missing in the apartment until we know what we are missing. At that point, we can run to TJ Maxx, Target, Home Goods, or somewhere else in the city and get what she needs…toiletries, paper goods, etc. I’m not paying movers to haul toilet paper or cleaning supplies from North Carolina to New York.

In 1989, when my parents moved me to Atlanta from Alabama after graduating from college, I had already secured the apartment on my own and had all the utilities put in my name. In fact, I was already living in the apartment when they drove over with a sofa, a TV, and a few other small items. I purchased a bed plus boxspring and mattress, so that’s basically what I had in the apartment. That’s all I had for a little while. I didn’t care. I was living in my own version of the “big city of dreams” and loving life.

I hope our daughter will love life in The Big Apple. I hope she will settle in as quickly as I settled into life in Atlanta way back when. I pray she will stay safe and keep her head on a swivel.

As soon as I get her settled in, my husband and I plan to take a vacation we postponed because of this move. I remember that I went on vacation as soon as we got her settled into college freshman year too. I have a feeling I will appreciate the relaxation more than ever. Hopefully, she will stay settled in a for a while. Every move just ages me a little more. Like I said, a mother’s work is never done.

She’s Returning to College

She’s returning to college.

Our daughter is returning to college for the second semester of her freshman year. In just 36 hours, our blissful month of having her under our roof will end. She and my husband will load up her car and start the 450 mile drive back to her university. She will drop him off at the airport before she goes to her dorm. He will fly home…without her.

And our house will be eerily quiet…again. It will be as quiet as it has been for the past few months, since we dropped her off in August. That dorm move-in is a distant memory now. Remember all the planning? Remember all the boxes of dorm supplies and decor stacked up in my foyer? I can hardly remember it now.

She survived first semester. With medical emergencies, the flu, late nights, lots of fun, lots of new friends…she survived. Not only did she survive, she thrived. Our girl was made for the big college atmosphere. It’s her happy place, for the most part. Don’t get me wrong; there were occasional tears. If you have a child leaving for college next fall, just know there will be tears. Sometimes they just have to get through the tears to get to the good stuff. I have told our daughter that in many late night phone conversations. If we didn’t have the bad, we wouldn’t appreciate the good. It’s absolutely true. The good seems so much better after you experience the bad. If your child calls you crying from college, remind them and yourself of that.

I will be having to remind myself of that over the next few weeks, as we adjust to a quiet house again.

Our house has felt like our house again for the past month, while our girl has been home. We had her friends in and out of the house at all hours. Many times, I was up at 2am, making grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for a gaggle of friends. I’m not complaining; I loved every minute of it. Some nights, I was picking her up from a friend’s house or a party in the wee hours of the morning. After the murders at the University of Idaho, I wasn’t real keen on her taking an Uber. That horrible crime was a reminder that a background check is just a check of what someone hasn’t been caught doing or hasn’t done yet. It’s scary to think young girls all over the country hop into the car with strangers all the time, right? So while our daughter was in Charlotte, I was her personal Uber driver if she needed me. *Say a prayer for the families of those University of Idaho students.*

Did my husband love the late nights? No. It drives him crazy to have to stay up past midnight. He leads a very structured life, and if the timing gets messed up, he’s not happy. I’m a total vampire who flies by the seat of my pants, so in my world, I love the chaos. I love spontaneity. I love getting in the car at 1:30am to pick up our daughter and friends to bring them back to our house. I love standing in the kitchen, in my pajamas and robe, preparing food for them after they get here. And I’m going to miss it.

Will we get to bed at a reasonable hour every night? Yes. Will the amount of laundry I have to do decrease exponentially? Yes. But honestly, I will miss the extra laundry. I will miss watching the clock as we wait for her to come home. I will miss the late night talks in her room. I will miss watching football games with her.

I will miss her.

Thank God we have some vacations coming up soon, so we won’t be in this quiet house. Before we know it, she will come home for a visit. If she doesn’t, chances are I will hop on a plane and go see her one weekend soon…just because I miss her. She’ll need a Mama hug, and I’ll need to see her face to make sure she’s OK.

I keep reminding myself that in just four short months, she will be home for summer. We will take mother/daughter trips again. She will likely want to visit friends in different cities, and that’s OK too. We will just be happy to have her here when we can. Just having that to look forward to will keep us going. Well, that and some fun trips.

Meet us in the Bahamas, but bring your own snorkel gear!