She’s Returning to College

She’s returning to college.

Our daughter is returning to college for the second semester of her freshman year. In just 36 hours, our blissful month of having her under our roof will end. She and my husband will load up her car and start the 450 mile drive back to her university. She will drop him off at the airport before she goes to her dorm. He will fly home…without her.

And our house will be eerily quiet…again. It will be as quiet as it has been for the past few months, since we dropped her off in August. That dorm move-in is a distant memory now. Remember all the planning? Remember all the boxes of dorm supplies and decor stacked up in my foyer? I can hardly remember it now.

She survived first semester. With medical emergencies, the flu, late nights, lots of fun, lots of new friends…she survived. Not only did she survive, she thrived. Our girl was made for the big college atmosphere. It’s her happy place, for the most part. Don’t get me wrong; there were occasional tears. If you have a child leaving for college next fall, just know there will be tears. Sometimes they just have to get through the tears to get to the good stuff. I have told our daughter that in many late night phone conversations. If we didn’t have the bad, we wouldn’t appreciate the good. It’s absolutely true. The good seems so much better after you experience the bad. If your child calls you crying from college, remind them and yourself of that.

I will be having to remind myself of that over the next few weeks, as we adjust to a quiet house again.

Our house has felt like our house again for the past month, while our girl has been home. We had her friends in and out of the house at all hours. Many times, I was up at 2am, making grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for a gaggle of friends. I’m not complaining; I loved every minute of it. Some nights, I was picking her up from a friend’s house or a party in the wee hours of the morning. After the murders at the University of Idaho, I wasn’t real keen on her taking an Uber. That horrible crime was a reminder that a background check is just a check of what someone hasn’t been caught doing or hasn’t done yet. It’s scary to think young girls all over the country hop into the car with strangers all the time, right? So while our daughter was in Charlotte, I was her personal Uber driver if she needed me. *Say a prayer for the families of those University of Idaho students.*

Did my husband love the late nights? No. It drives him crazy to have to stay up past midnight. He leads a very structured life, and if the timing gets messed up, he’s not happy. I’m a total vampire who flies by the seat of my pants, so in my world, I love the chaos. I love spontaneity. I love getting in the car at 1:30am to pick up our daughter and friends to bring them back to our house. I love standing in the kitchen, in my pajamas and robe, preparing food for them after they get here. And I’m going to miss it.

Will we get to bed at a reasonable hour every night? Yes. Will the amount of laundry I have to do decrease exponentially? Yes. But honestly, I will miss the extra laundry. I will miss watching the clock as we wait for her to come home. I will miss the late night talks in her room. I will miss watching football games with her.

I will miss her.

Thank God we have some vacations coming up soon, so we won’t be in this quiet house. Before we know it, she will come home for a visit. If she doesn’t, chances are I will hop on a plane and go see her one weekend soon…just because I miss her. She’ll need a Mama hug, and I’ll need to see her face to make sure she’s OK.

I keep reminding myself that in just four short months, she will be home for summer. We will take mother/daughter trips again. She will likely want to visit friends in different cities, and that’s OK too. We will just be happy to have her here when we can. Just having that to look forward to will keep us going. Well, that and some fun trips.

Meet us in the Bahamas, but bring your own snorkel gear!

Car Trouble on the Way Home

Car trouble on the way home.

Tuesday was a long day for our family. I took my husband to the airport in the morning to catch an 11:00 flight to Birmingham. Our daughter had finished her first semester college finals and was ready to come home for the holidays, but since her school is 450 miles away, we didn’t want her to ride alone. Therefore, my husband was flying down to make the drive with her. I know some folks will think that’s crazy, but I don’t care. Even our daughter protested, “Really??? I can drive alone!” If purchasing an airline ticket for my husband would create a hardship for us, I might have considered letting her drive home alone, but it’s a long drive for anyone, and well, you never know when something will happen. Our daughter is a great driver with lots of driving experience, but because I have been stranded on the side of the highway before, I know how scary it can be as a woman…especially a young woman. Yes, she has a AAA Automobile Club membership, and she has roadside assistance for her car through the manufacturer, and all of that makes me feel better, but I just don’t feel good about the possibility of her being stranded on the interstate highway. My husband doesn’t either, so that’s why he flew down to drive back with her.

She picked him up at the Birmingham airport at about noon, and they started the 6-hour drive back to Charlotte. Over the past couple of years, we have decided that, because of the road construction and heavy truck traffic on I-85 between Charlotte and Greenville, South Carolina, it’s easier to travel on I-20 and I-77 between Birmingham and Charlotte. Its a slightly longer drive…20 minutes or so, but it’s just a more peaceful drive. Well…usually it is.

After they had passed through Atlanta, my husband noticed a vibration in the car that was just too much to continue. The tires were not inflated properly. They were showing various pressures, so when he called me, we decided that might be the issue. He decided to stop at a tire store in Conyers, Georgia, to try to get the issue resolved before continuing. Thank God they stopped when they did. It took a couple of hours to get the issue straightened out…rotation, weights, and alignment…but eventually, they were back on the road. I even suggested they might stop at a hotel and just come home in the morning, because in addition to the fact that it was getting late, there was also a heavy fog settled over the Carolinas. They would have none of that; they both wanted to get home.

At about 11:30pm, they turned into our driveway. I went out to greet them as soon as they parked. They were exhausted and hungry, since they hadn’t stopped for food anywhere along the way. We all came in, and I made grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for them before we all turned in for the night.

I was just thankful they had arrived safely. Yes, it was a long trip for them and a long day of worry for me, but they made it. I also said prayers of thanks that my husband was there with our daughter, so she didn’t have to deal with all the issues alone. I would have been driving to meet her somewhere if he hadn’t flown down to ride back with her, and I would have been terrified for her. It’s a good lesson. If you ever question whether you should go help your child with something like a long drive, err on the side of caution. I’m not even a particularly cautious mom, but when it comes to long drives, I am.

Now, we are enjoying the holidays and preparing for another drive, as my daughter and I are traveling to Charleston with friends tomorrow morning. I’ll be riding with my friend, and our daughter will be driving herself and the daughter of said friend. We are meeting some friends who are flying in from Ohio, and we plan to enjoy as much shopping and dining as we possibly can over the course of a few days!

Stay safe out there!

Back Home Ballers

Back Home Ballers

When I was growing up, there were young people in and out of our house all the time. Likewise, when our daughter was growing up, we had young people in and out of our house all the time. And then, this past August, she went to college, and our house became a lot quieter. She came home once in September and once a few weeks ago, and we got to see one or two of her friends, but now that Thanksgiving is upon us, they’re all home from college, and there is so much activity! It has been like a revolving door of friends since she got home, and we couldn’t be happier! If you have seen the SNL video titled Back Home Ballers, you know where I stole my title. If you’re not familiar with it, you can see it here. And if you’re a parent of a college student, you get it. Your husband is probably the “valet,” carrying bags up and down the stairs. At our house, I’m the mom who just went to Costco (or Publix, in my case) in anticipation of the college student’s arrival…and hopefully, there are lots of friends dropping in too! And the students themselves? Well, they are just enjoying every minute of the attention and preferential treatment.

I remember my friend, Angela, visiting me at my mother’s house when I was in my forties. I had gone down to Alabama to visit with Mother for a few days, and lucky for me, Angela lived nearby. One particular trip, Angela came over, and we were playing “Heads Up” with our smartphones, laughing and poking fun at each other. We talked and laughed and talked and laughed some more. I remember Mother saying, “Having y’all together here makes me happy. Y’all bring fun energy into my house.” I heard her, but I didn’t fully understand what she was saying.

Now I get it.

Now I understand what mother was feeling. I feel energized with all these friends of our daughter in and out of the house. I’ve been to the grocery store four times in anticipation of their visits. Normally, I do not enjoy the grocery store, but this week, I have enjoyed every minute of it…practically skipping and dancing down the aisles! I have tried to purchase all their favorite comfort foods, because I want them to feel comfortable and a little nostalgic. We have a few more days before they all head back to college, so I hope to prepare a few more meals, snacks, and desserts before they leave. My refrigerator is still bursting at the seams, so they need to come over as often as possible to eat all that food! The benefit for me? While they hang out in my kitchen, laughing and talking, I absorb their fun, positive energy, and I get to laugh a lot! Good times.

Last night, in fact, a few friends were here, and we stayed up well into the night laughing and talking…even crying some too, but it was good crying. I have watched these young people grow up! Obviously, I have known my daughter her whole life, but I’ve known most of her friends since they were five or even before that! We go way back…lots of history there. Now they have new lives at their universities spread across the country, so there was lots to cover there too.

I have even been able to drive my daughter and some of her friends to the homes of other friends…and even pick them up late at night! Many of these college students are home without their cars, because they have to fly back and forth to their universities. Our daughter doesn’t have her car here, so I almost feel like I used to feel before she was old enough to drive! Yes, it was aggravating sometimes then, but now I’m the mom driving late at night with a big smile on my face! I’m just so happy! That is my life right now! It’s real, y’all.

And you know what? I’m loving every minute and trying to lock things into my long term memory!

*Feature photo from NBC’s SNL* I wish I had thought to get our daughter and a group of her friends to pose like this!

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Holiday Decorating for Our College Student

Holiday decorating for our college student.

She’s coming home Thursday…a whole week before Thanksgiving.

Sunday afternoon, I was texting with a friend in Mobile who sent me pictures of her wrapped Christmas gifts! Yes, I said wrapped Christmas gifts...lots of them! She is even in the process of decorating her tree! She has two sons in their early 20s, and she is way ahead of the holiday game! I am impressed, especially because I have done very little to prepare for the holidays. Don’t get me wrong. I’m shopping. I have purchased a few items…a couple of gifts and some stocking stuffers. I have a little bit of holiday travel planned. I’m trying to figure out everything else. But decorating? It’s mid-November! My holiday game just isn’t there yet.

But then I realized…our daughter is coming home from college later this week, and it might be fun for her to come home and find a festive atmosphere.

I’m not ready to start wrapping gifts. I’m not ready to put up the tree. But I started thinking about what I can do now to make it feel festive when she arrives home this week, and it occurred to me that I can, at the very least, get the dining room table set and decorated for the holidays. Sorry…I’m skipping right over Thanksgiving table decor and moving on into Christmas decor. It’s not like I have ever decorated for Thanksgiving before anyway. I’m a bit of a holiday decor minimalist…especially for anything besides Christmas, but by most standards, I’m pretty minimal at Christmas too.

So yesterday afternoon, I went up to the attic and brought down some of the decor…not much, but some. And I got busy removing the regular china from the dining room table and replacing it with Christmas china. Some of the silver needed polishing, so I did that too. I didn’t go so far as to start playing Christmas music while I worked, but I might have been singing my own version of some Christmas carols. The dogs didn’t howl as I sang, but they did run to the other room. My husband came home in the middle of my chaos. I felt sure he would ask why I was decorating before Thanksgiving, but nope…he just kept his head down and kept walking. He probably was afraid I would ask him to help! (I didn’t.)

After gathering everything, I realized I was missing several items…a couple of my red champagne flutes (broken last year) and some of the pieces for my “tablescape.” So I placed a couple of online orders for the things I need. I still improvised with what I have, replacing the red champagne flutes with regular crystal ones until I have all the red ones, and putting out as much of my “tablescape” as possible. Yes, I put “tablescape” in quotation marks, because I’m not much of a scaper. However, even with the minimal table decor I have now, the dining room will feel festive when our daughter walks in. ***For tablescape ideas, see links at the bottom of page***

I stopped short of dragging out any other Christmas decor.

My husband grows weary of holiday decor, so I don’t want to send his brain into Christmas overload too early in the season…or before the season even gets started! I did not put up the tree. I didn’t go out and put lights on the trees in the front yard. I didn’t put the garland on the stairs. I didn’t start baking cookies for Santa. However, I am still considering putting the bows on the front porch lanterns before our daughter arrives Thursday. I know she would love to see those when she arrives, but I’m feeling a little like I need to save that until after Thanksgiving. Otherwise, even I will be tired of looking at all of it before Christmas even gets here. Plus, I don’t want to send the neighbors into complete shock by decorating too early.

For now, I’m relatively happy with my dining room table. When I’m finished, will it look like I hired Martha Stewart? Nope. Not at all. Maybe it will look like I hired Martha’s friend, Snoop Dogg. I’m not knocking Snoop; I love him! Frankly, I’d love to have him decorate my house for the holidays! In fact, I think I’d prefer his decor over Martha’s.

And we will all feel festive as soon as our daughter walks through the door for her weeklong Thanksgiving break! Maybe she will want to help me with some holiday decor after she gets here!

Fo shizzle!

****Here are some websites for table decorating ideas:

Town and Country Magazine

Country Living

Jane at Home

And some fun ideas from Country Living

*Also, follow Shayla Copas on Instagram here for great ideas! Or order her book, Four Seasons of Entertaining, here.*

A Whole Week Home From College

A whole week home from college.

In less than a week, our college student daughter is coming home…for a whole week! We haven’t seen her for seven days in a row since she left for college in August! We have seen her for a couple of days here and there…two football weekends, one day when my husband visited when he passed through town, and she has been home for two quick visits. But soon, she will be here for a whole week! In fact, she will be home for a little more than a week! And we can hardly wait.

Back in September, I booked her ticket on American Airlines to come home Saturday. But then, two days ago, she called me and said she wants to come home earlier. My first question? “Don’t you have class Friday?” She told me her Friday class has been canceled. I kept her on the phone while I looked at the American Airlines website. We discussed flight times and finally decided she could come home on an afternoon flight Thursday for only $99 more than we paid for the original ticket. Sold!

Seriously, y’all, I was so flattered that she wanted to spend more time with us. Anyone who has college-age kids will tell you it’s fun when they’re around again. I told her I was excited we are going to get to spend some extra time with her. And that’s when she said, “Oh, well, yes…but I’m going down to Columbia, South Carolina, with friends Saturday morning for the South Carolina game.”And that’s when I realized she isn’t coming home early to spend more time with us. She is coming home early to go to the University of South Carolina! I laughed out loud, because of course that’s what she wants to do!

I remember what it’s like to be 19, so I’m happy she gets to go visit friends in South Carolina with friends from home! I loved going to football games at different schools with friends when I was in college, so I get it. Will we, her parents, be offended when she wants to spend every evening with her friends? Nope, not one bit. In fact, I hope she will bring them here to gather at least once or twice. We love the energy they bring into our home, and I love preparing food for them…grilled cheese sandwiches, avocado toast, or even a late night breakfast.

But I also realize that, because she wants to go to South Carolina for a day or two, she is still coming home earlier than she originally was, and that’s a bonus for me and my husband! We are so excited! Of course, at the end of her stay, I’m sure I will be writing about how little time we actually got to spend with her! And that’s OK too, because we just want her to be happy and healthy. Spending time with her friends in Charlotte will be good for her. When she returns to Charlotte from South Carolina Saturday night, I will be here, ready to feed her (and friends) when she gets home.

Plus, I’m sure she will sleep a lot. Our daughter who has never been much of a sleeper will need to make up for lots of lost sleep while she is here. Sleeping in a twin bed in a dorm just isn’t the same as sleeping in a queen bed at home. I remember that too. There’s nothing quite like sleeping under your parents’ roof, with your dog in the bed like old times. She will sleep soundly knowing her daddy will bring her coffee in bed in the morning, and I will call her down for a hot breakfast shortly thereafter. Just like her last visit, we will have all her favorites at breakfast: scrambled eggs, grits, hashbrown casserole, bacon, biscuits, and Conecuh Sausage (again, if you’re not familiar with this, you want to try it. It’s from Alabama, but they carry the original sausage at most Publix stores. See the Conecuh Sausage website here). Some mornings, she might want avocado toast too. And she will get it if she wants it.

We are excited for her to arrive Thursday. My husband can hardly wait to go pick her up at the airport…a job he has already volunteered to do. I will ask her what she wants as her “welcome home” meal, and I will have that ready when she arrives. Of course, she’s likely to eat and run…or as my late friend, Wendy, would say, “chew and screw,” which means the same as eat and run. She was from Boston, and I don’t know if that’s what other people say there, but I think it sounds funny, so I say it occasionally.

Now, we just play the waiting game. My husband started his countdown today, telling me she will be home in just five days!

We are excited!

***Feature photo from Charlotte Business Journal***

Holiday Gift #1 for 2022

Holiday gift #1 for 2022.

Ten weeks until Christmas! I know! Time flies. Ten weeks ago, we had just moved our daughter into her college dorm, and she was fully entrenched in sorority recruitment. And now, in the same amount of time, we will be staring at Christmas Day. There’s a lot to get done before then…including Christmas shopping!

This year, I’m going to do things the way I used to do them; I’m going to get my shopping done by mid-November, if at all possible. And in keeping with that plan, I will share my 2022 gift suggestions starting now, and I will do it a little differently. I’m just going to post as things come to mind. Sure, I might post some as categories of things, but this first gift suggestion is something anyone can use. In fact, I have written about it before, but I’m even more adamant that everyone needs to have this item in their closet, because I love my own so much.

The item in question? Baboon to the Moon brand travel bags!

It has been just a little less than a year since I wrote about them the first time, but after owning one of their bags for over a year, I truly believe everyone needs to own one. Every now and then, I run into people in airports who also own a bag or bags from Baboon to the Moon, and every single person I talk to raves about them. When I was checking in for a flight recently, an American Airlines agent noticed my Baboon to the Moon carry-on bag and told me she has the same bag in a different color and loves it! Mine is a lovely shade of blue, and my daughter has one that is pink…both cute colors. Recently, as I stood waiting for a flight to board, I noticed the guy standing next to me had a Baboon to the Moon bag too, and I asked him how he liked it. He raved about his before noticing I had one too!

What can I tell you to convince you that these bags are must-haves?

The first thing to know is that every bag they make has a lifetime warranty. That’s important information as you go out on a limb to buy something you might not be really familiar with. What else? They are super sturdy, very well-made, and water resistant. And they come in lots of different colors, sizes, and styles.

My personal favorite is the Go Bag Mini (32 liter bag) because it can be a carry-on personal item that fits underneath the seat in front of you on most US carriers. I almost always fly American Airlines, and I have always been able to fit my Go Bag Mini underneath the seat in front of me. As with all Baboon to the Moon bags, it has a a sturdy zipper closure. On this particular bag, the zipper closure is on a flap on one side of the bag, making it easily accessible for the user, but when you’re wearing it as a backpack, it is completely inaccessible to others. It also has handles and straps, so it can be carried at a suitcase, a duffle bag, or a backpack. I prefer to carry mine as a backpack, because it leaves my hands free. Plus, wearing it as a backpack distributes the weight of the bag more evenly. It holds 1-3 days of belongings, but generally speaking, I use it for medications, a change of clothes, a change of shoes, a swimsuit, some PJs, a sweatshirt, and a giant portable charger…plus my crossbody handbag that I slip inside it while traveling.

Other bags they make? Several sizes of Go Bags, Go totes, crossbody bags, fanny packs, and day backpacks plus some packing/organizing bags. I have some of the packing bags, and I’m about to get myself one of their crossbody bags and a day backpack…Santa can deliver them to me at Christmas! My daughter has a Go Bag Mini, but I’m going to get her a Day Backpack for Christmas for our travels. When we are moving around big cities, it’s nice to have everything in a small day bag/backpack for hands free shopping.

And I should mention they offer their bags in some great colors. Right now they have some limited run colors that deserve your attention…neon and “submarine” colors. 40-liter Go Totes start at $149, while the Go Bag pricing starts at $159 for the 32-liter Go Bag Mini. Other Go Bag sizes are the 40-liter Small Go Tote and the 60-liter Big Go Tote, priced at $199 and $229 respectively. The 1.2 liter crossbody sling bag is priced at $40, and the 3-liter fanny pack is $50, while the 8-liter backpack mini is $89, and the 24-liter City Backpack is $119. Personally, I think any of these bags would make great gifts for the people on your holiday shopping list.

The best thing you can do is go take a look at their website here. Take your time, because there are lots of great colors and sizes from which to choose. Your more conservative friends or family members might like the darker, less flashy colors. But there are lots of fun colors for your friends and family members who like fun colors!

Just go ahead and add Baboon to the Moon bags to your holiday shopping list. It’s a great one-stop shop for almost everyone on your list! Keep them in mind at graduation time too! They make great graduation gifts!

***The featured photo is from the Baboon to the Moon website. Anyone who was a teenager or college student in the 80s likely thought it looked like an ad for United Colors of Benetton!***

Mom, We’ve Been in an Accident

“Mom, we’ve been in an accident.”

Those are words we don’t want to hear…ever.

Recently, the night before I was getting off a Caribbean cruise to return home to Charlotte, I received a phone call from my daughter saying those words. The next words were “I’m ok, and [driver friend] is OK, but [college friend] might be a little hurt.” My head started to spin. I just sent my daughter off to college a little over a month ago. She had called me in the middle of the cruise and asked me to get airline tickets for her and a friend to come to Charlotte over the weekend, so I did. And ten minutes after they landed, they were involved in an auto accident. Another friend from high school was driving.

I was happy to hear that two of the three were OK, but I was worried about the third.

My daughter calmly told me the people from Life360, a phone app, had called her immediately to tell her they detected she had been involved in a crash, and the police had been dispatched to the scene. To learn more about Life360, click here. I highly recommend it. Our daughter said the person at Life360 asked if they needed medics, and she asked them to send them, because one friend might be injured. Our daughter seemed fine when I was talking with her, but I could hear her friend from college crying in the background. It was breaking my heart. And to top it off, my husband was at the beach in another state with a friend, and I didn’t have real phone service, so I was having to make all calls using FaceTime and WhatsApp through Wifi…spotty at best. I asked my daughter, “Do you want me to call a mom to be with y’all?” She immediately answered, “Yes.” One name came to mind. I called her via FaceTime audio, and she was on it. As soon as I told her the situation…I was out of the country, and my daughter had been in an accident…she said, “I have my keys in my hand and I’m on my way.” Fortunately, she lives near where the girls were, so she could get there quickly.

I then called the college friend’s mom and explained to her that the EMTs were checking her daughter’s elbow and head, and the girls were in good hands. Ultimately, the EMTs decided the girls could go on to our house. I explained to her that my friend would be arriving soon to wait with them and take them home. Once there, my neighbors would check on them right away and periodically till I could get home the next day. Fortunately, my very calm, very responsible 25-yr-old nephew and his girlfriend were in town for a concert, so they would be at our house all night, and I would be arriving the next day. My daughter could call any of our neighbors at any time for anything. And I was explaining all this through FaceTime that was spotty, but it got the job done.

Thank the Lord.

After I had contacted everyone I knew to contact, I could sit down and think. I called my husband once I knew everything was handled and told him the news. I started with, “She is OK, but Milly has been in an accident.” I hung up the phone and finished packing. But honestly, I didn’t sleep that night. We were scheduled to arrive in Miami at 7:00am, and my flight home was scheduled for 3:15pm…a long wait. When I arrived at the airport at about 10:00, I went straight to check-in and asked if I could be moved to an earlier flight. Lucky me, there was one seat left. The flight wouldn’t leave till 1:25pm, so I went to the American Airlines Admirals Club to wait it out and distract myself with college football. And of course, while I was there, I called my nephew to get updates on the girls…hoping they were still sleeping…and they were. I spoke again with the mother of my daughter’s college friend, knowing I would want as much information as possible if I were in her shoes. She said she really wished her daughter would wake up, so I called my nephew and asked him to go in to wake them and ask the friend to call her mom.

When I arrived home, I could finally breathe. I hugged everyone and looked over the girls, who appeared fine. Their smiling faces told me they were feeling well. My nephew and his girlfriend left for the concert soon after I got home, and the girls asked me to drop them at a favorite restaurant in Charlotte’s South End…just like old times.

And I was thrilled that something seemed normal. Normal is good.

It was the first time I had relaxed since the “Mom, we’ve been in an accident” phone call. After dropping them off, I rushed home and took a shower. My nephew and the girlfriend came home from the concert, and I cooked them a late night breakfast before going to pick up the girls at a friend’s house at about 1:00am…just like old times. And after we got home, I crashed right to bed and slept better than I’ve slept in a long time.

I can tell you this: you do not want to receive a call from your child saying he/she has been in a car accident. I felt helpless. But I heard from all sources, including both friends who were in the accident with her, that my daughter was a champ through the whole thing. She kept the other girls calm and handled things with the police and medics. I am proud to hear that and happy to know she was able to help her friends.

I did sit down with the girls over breakfast and told them they should reflect back on what had happened and what they had learned from it. I said, “I’m sure you learned just how quickly your life can change. No one goes out expecting to get into a car accident, and it can absolutely change your life in seconds.” The driver of the car they were in was not at fault, but accidents happen. Thank God they were OK.

And I will tell you what all mothers know: they are always our babies. Their pain is our pain. And it’s a lot harder to deal with from hundreds or even thousands of miles away. Sometimes we just need to put our eyes on them, and I was so glad I could do that fairly quickly.

They flew back last night and made it to their dorm without incident. I was able to sleep.

Normal is good…

“I Can Handle This”

“I can handle this.”

As we prepare for our 18-yr-old daughter to go off to college in August, we often laugh and talk about those “what would you do?” situations. You know…what to do if your child calls you from the hospital. What to do if your child calls you with car trouble. And yesterday, even before she has left for college, I received one of those “what would you do?” phone calls from her.

Yesterday morning, my daughter was scheduled to fly back to Charlotte from Pensacola on a 9:30 flight. About 90 minutes before her scheduled flight time, our home phone rang. I’m going to be honest. Because I had gone to bed super late the night before, I was sleeping in, and the phone jarred me awake.

When I saw my daughter’s name and number on the caller ID, my blood pressure shot up and my pulse rate quickened immediately, knowing there had to be something wrong. I answered, and she said, “I don’t have my ID.” Like any mother would do, I asked, “What?!?! Why are you walking around without your ID?!? Are you at the airport?” My pulse rate and blood pressure were climbing as I went deeper into panic mode. She needed to get home for lacrosse practice. It was the whole reason we picked that flight for her return, so she would make it in plenty of time for the 4:00 practice. She said she was not at the airport and didn’t know what to do. I said, “Let me see if I can get through to American Airlines. Get to the airport.”

I called American and got the standard “we are experiencing high call volume” message, so I hung up and called my daughter back. I told her to get to the airport as quickly as she could and ask what to do there. I was in panic mode and followed up with, “If you miss your flight, you have to call your lacrosse coach and tell her why you won’t be at practice today.”

And that’s when she said, “It’s OK, Mom. Don’t panic. What’s the worst that could happen?” My mind started racing. The worst that could happen if she didn’t get on that flight? Well, she would miss lacrosse practice and possibly miss school the next day. Sure, we don’t want those things to happen, but in the overall scheme of things, it’s not a disaster. She then told me, “I Googled it, and I think TSA will work with me. I can handle this.” As soon as she said it, I Googled “TSA, lost ID.” She was right. Right there on my screen, it said TSA will “interview” the passenger in the event of a lost ID. But I was still in a panic. I said, “I’m going to text you a photo of your passport, just in case. Just get there and let me know if you make it through security. Make sure you don’t have any liquids in your bag to slow you down.” “OK, Mom. I can handle this.”

I was upset with her for being irresponsible with her ID. I was confused about what had happened to it. I was not happy about the situation, but I was glad she was facing it calmly. She texted me when she arrived at the airport, and eight minutes later…literally, eight minutes later…she texted, “I’m through security.” Yippee! I texted back, “Call me when you get to the gate area.”

A few minutes later, the phone rang, and I asked what had happened. She said there was no line at security when she got there, so she got in the PreCheck line and went straight up to the agent and explained she had lost her ID. He called his supervisor, who came over and asked if she had any form of ID. She showed her a credit card, a debit card, her insurance card, her vaccination card, and the photo of her passport on her phone. She has TSA PreCheck, but they made her go to the regular TSA line, where they swabbed each of her bags thoroughly and checked them thoroughly…and then, after clearing everything, she was on her way. I said, “I hope you thanked them.” She assured me she did. “It was no big deal, Mom.”

And you know what? She was right. It was no big deal. My dismay (and momentary panic) turned to relief and pride…I was proud of her for handling it without panic. I was proud of her for handling the situation like an adult. She, in fact, handled it way better than I did.

I think I was projecting my own experience on her. When I was a teenager and visited Mexico with some high school friends and our Spanish teacher, the wallet of one of my friends was stolen. On our way home, she was not able to return with the rest of us, because when we got to the Mexico City Airport to leave, the person who needed to sign off on her affidavit for departure was at lunch! I guess our own experiences shape us, but sometimes, we need to remember every case is unique…and what happened in 1982 might be different than what happens in 2022.

Our daughter handled the situation in a way that gave me faith that, despite the fact that she couldn’t find her ID, she used the resources at her fingertips (Google) and made things happen. She approached the TSA agent with confidence, like the adult she is, and she made it home safely. There was never panic in her voice. She has been traveling her whole life; she knows “how to do.” I guess she knew she would handle it.

And she handled it like a boss! And now I feel even more confident about sending her off to college in August. We have to let them handle these little “emergencies” so they will know how to handle them. She’s got this!

***The featured photo is from the Pensacola airport in January 2007, when our daughter was just three years old. We’ve come a long way!***

Holiday Travel 2021

Holiday Travel 2021

Travel is back!

We were some of the odd people who traveled last Thanksgiving…during the pandemic. I just couldn’t take staying home anymore. Call me reckless, but when we got home, we didn’t have the virus…all my teenage daughter’s friends did, because they had gathered with local people. Travel was pretty easy back then, because the airports simply were not crowded. Same in February, when we flew to New Orleans over Presidents’ Day weekend, and we were still unvaccinated. Again, the airports weren’t crowded, and we got lucky and avoided the virus. When Spring Break rolled around in March, I was half-vaccinated, but I was determined to try to enjoy a vacation with our daughter and some of her friends in Miami. Success…we came home illness-free.

Soon after that, the whole family got vaccinated, and we moved around all summer. Sure, we were careful to wash our hands and wear masks indoors, but we lived life again. And it seems lots of other folks are doing the same.

We just returned from a Thanksgiving trip to California, and the airports were packed again. We flew out of Charlotte the Saturday before Thanksgiving, and the Charlotte airport was wall-to-wall people. Same thing when we flew back…wall-to-wall people in the Los Angeles airport. But most people were wearing their masks correctly in the airport and on the flights. I had some concerns before we traveled, because of recent airline issues. I was afraid our return flights would be canceled, so I purchased some one way refundable tickets on another airline for the return, just in case, before I realized I could stay an extra few days and enjoy more vacation for the amount of money I was spending on those tickets!

We ended up having no issues during our travels. But I planned things carefully. To avoid issues, here are some tips for Holiday Travel 2022:

  • Book Early. This advice goes for airline tickets, hotels, and even rental cars. As availability decreases in each of these areas, prices increase. You can thank supply and demand for that. So book early. I just realized today that I had not booked a rental car for our Christmas trip, and when I looked, I knew I had made a big mistake. I will likely use Uber while we are there, because I refuse to pay ridiculous prices for a rental car. If you are going to need a rental car and haven’t booked it, book it now.
  • Try to travel on off-peak days. Everything I have read says the peak days around Christmas for air travel are December 22 and December 28 this year, but I’m guessing the 26th is going to be a busy day for those who have to get back to work on Monday. Try not to book your flights for those dates. I’m guessing December 24th will be a little crazy too, since Christmas is on a Saturday this year. My family will be traveling on Christmas Eve, so if you see us in the airport, we can commiserate.
  • Arrive at the airport early. You have likely heard it for years when you were traveling during the holidays: arrive early. Well, this year, you absolutely need to arrive early. There could be personnel shortages at the airport, causing a backlog in so many different areas of the airport. While the usual recommendation is to arrive two hours before your domestic flight, I recommend arriving three hours before, especially if you’re flying out of a busy airport. Obviously, if you’re flying out of somewhere like Pensacola, Florida, you don’t need as much time, but I flew out of Birmingham recently, and even with my TSA PreCheck clearance, I was in line for a while at security…longer than I’ve ever waited in Charlotte. I know, some will call arriving that early excessive, but what is it going to hurt for you to get there and relax for a little while before your flight boards? I can’t relax till I’m through security, but once I’ve cleared TSA, I feel so much better. A long security line gives me anxiety, if I’m pushed for time. Save yourself some anxiety…arrive early.
  • Do not check bags. I say this with a little hesitation. When I say “do not check bags,” I mean pack in appropriately-sized carry-on bags. Do not carry on the kitchen sink. My daughter and I each had a carry-on bag and a backpack for our recent trip to LA. We didn’t want to risk losing our luggage, and we didn’t want to have to wait in baggage claim forever when we got there. In the past, we have waited a long time for luggage in LA and Charlotte, so we avoid it now. Again, with personnel shortages, wait times could be longer. But whatever you do, please stick to the appropriate size limits and number of bags…that means one carry-on bag and one person item. Check airline websites for size restrictions. Obviously, if you are traveling with gifts for friends and family, you will likely need to check bags, unless you consider shipping everything (keep reading).
  • Pack medications and necessities in a carry-on. If you do opt to check luggage, make sure you have all your medications and any necessities in a carry-on bag. It’s always a good idea to have a change of clothes and a toothbrush/hairbrush in your carry-on, as well. Things happen. Connecting flights cancel, and bags are not accessible. Bags get delayed or lost. Trust me on this.
  • Consider shipping luggage and gifts ahead. To cut down on the amount of “stuff” you carry with you, ship any gifts, and possibly your luggage, ahead of time. That way, if you want you can wrap them ahead of time too. Otherwise, wrapped gifts will need to go in checked bags, and if TSA decides to open them, they can. You can ship via UPS, the United States Postal Service, or FedEx, or you can use a luggage shipping service like ShipGo. See their website here.
  • Get TSA PreCheck or Global Entry. If you’re traveling domestically, make an appointment now to get TSA PreCheck. It will save you lots of time and stress at the airport. You don’t have to take off shoes (unless your shoes cause cause the metal detector to “beep”). You don’t have to go through the body scanner. The lines are shorter. And if you’re traveling internationally, Global Entry can save lots of time on re-entry to the US. To make an appointment for TSA PreCheck, click here. In most cases, you’ll have your Known Traveler Number within two weeks after your appointment. For international travelers, Global Entry appointments can be made here.
  • Download MyTSA App. On the MyTSA app, you can store favorite airports and see up-to-the-minute wait times at various checkpoints at different airports. The app also includes a list of things you can bring onboard aircraft in checked bags and carry-on bags. There are also ways to request passenger support for travelers with disabilities and/or medical conditions. The app is a great place to get lots of information.
  • Carry snacks. December is prime time for weather issues. Be prepared. Always have some snacks (including some with protein) to keep you going when airports are full of people and it’s difficult to get food. You don’t want to get hangry.
  • Traveling by car? If you’re traveling by car, check your tires and oil before you leave. And if you’re traveling in cold climates, have a couple of blankets in the car, just in case. I used to think my daddy was crazy when he made me keep blankets in the trunk of my car, but I have friends who have had to sleep in their cars when they got caught in ice storms and/or snow storms. One was even caught in torrential rains/floods and had to sleep in her car. Having some bottled water and a few snacks on hand would be a good idea too. You might think it can’t happen where you are, but a few years ago, my daughter and I made it back to Charlotte from Birmingham, Alabama, just ahead of an ice storm. And be patient. The roads are going to be crowded. Have some backup routes in mind too. One year, when I was coming back from Atlanta, I realized it was going to take twice as long as it should if I stayed on the interstate, so I opted to take some “back roads.” It was quite an adventure, but I got home more quickly…and on less crowded roads. I wasn’t jockeying for position the whole time.

Happy Holidays and Happy Trails!

A Visit.

A Visit.

This past weekend, I took a whirlwind trip to a college football game. When I say whirlwind trip, I mean I barely felt like my feet were on the ground between flights. But we crammed a lot of fun into a short stay. And yes, my team won.

On the return flight, I was the first to board. I always like to board as early as possible. I don’t know why…it’s just who I am. As the plane filled up, I noticed a gentleman boarding who reminded me of my daddy. He was tall with white hair…much like my daddy. I lost my daddy 15 years ago to pancreatic cancer, and on very rare occasions, I “see” him somewhere…I see someone who looks like him walking across a parking lot or in the background of photos. This particular gentleman ended up sitting in the row in front of me on the flight; it’s the first time I’ve been seated behind someone who reminds me of Daddy. If you’ve lost a loved one, you might know it’s interesting to see someone who resembles the person you’ve lost. I found myself looking at the back of his head a lot during the flight. It didn’t make me sad. Quite the opposite…it made me happy…made me feel a little comforted. It made me think Daddy was saying “hi” to me.

The flight was uneventful, and then we landed in Charlotte. As soon as we landed, the gentleman made a phone call. I don’t know if it was his wife or his daughter. I preferred to think it was his daughter, but it was probably his wife. I don’t know what had occurred, but he listened for a minute and then calmly responded with, “OK. You’re fine. Stop worrying about it. It’s over.” He had a calming voice, much like my daddy’s, and his southern accent sounded like Daddy’s too. He responded that way several times, “Let it go. It’s over.” I remember hearing my own dad say those very words to me many times in my life. When I was in college and I finished an exam that I thought didn’t go well, I would call him, and tell him. And he would always respond, very calmly, “Stop worrying about it. It’s over.” Or he might say, “Stop worrying about something you can’t change. It’s over now. You’re wasting your energy.” Even after a car accident, when I was trying to replay the events that led up to it, he would say, “Let it go. It’s over.” Seriously, hearing the gentleman on the phone last night really made me think of Daddy. If I had been worried about something at the time, I’d have thought Daddy was trying to send me a message. Maybe he was sending me a message about a future worry?

The gentleman ended his call with an “I love you,” and soon thereafter, we arrived at our gate. We all stood up to retrieve our carry-on bags from the overhead bins, and I found myself standing directly behind him while we waited to deplane. He and another gentleman started talking, and “the” gentleman revealed that he was traveling to Minneapolis. He said he had started his day in 87-degree weather, and when he arrived in Minneapolis, it would be 27 degrees. He also revealed that he enjoys traveling to Minneapolis and started talking about the food there. I don’t remember the particulars of everything he was saying about the food. I just remember that it reminded me of Daddy. When he traveled, he talked to people and learned about the city he visited. This gentleman was sharing little facts about the Swedish influence in Minneapolis, and he also revealed that everything he eats in Minneapolis is served with wild rice. Apparently, lots of wild rice is grown in the state of Minnesota…something I didn’t know before…and one of those facts Daddy would have picked up in his travels.

As weird as it sounds, I enjoyed the little bit of time that I felt like I was in the presence of my dad. I know it wasn’t Daddy. I’m not crazy. There’s just something a little reassuring about hearing a similar voice saying something Daddy would have said.

November is Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month. If you’re familiar with pancreatic cancer because a family member or friend has it or had it, I’m sorry. It’s a terrible, deadly disease that gets very little research funding. If you’d like to make a donation to an organization that works to support those who have pancreatic cancer and their families, please consider donating to Pancreatic Cancer Action Network. Thursday, November 18, is World Pancreatic Cancer Day, and the organization will be hosting an online event, sharing the latest information on advances in research and treatment. You can see the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network website here. Please consider donating to this worthy cause.

And on November 18, please consider wearing purple in support of Pancreatic Cancer Awareness. I will wear purple in memory of my Daddy.