Teenagers/Coronavirus/Clean hands. How do those three things go together?

I have a teenager in my house, and the last thing I want or need is for her to get the latest coronavirus. I also know one way to prevent it is to have clean hands. There’s the correlation in a nutshell.

But how do we encourage them to keep clean hands?!?! Teenagers are known for sharing drinks, sharing food, holding hands, kissing, hugging…all germ-sharing activities. They sit in classrooms next to each other. They ride in cars with each other. They all hang out together at each other’s houses. Come on….teenagers are just walking germ pools.

And now, in an effort to keep them from catching the new coronavirus, we are asking them to stop doing all those things they do. Don’t share drinks or food. Don’t hold hands, kiss, or hug. Heck, don’t even shake hands or give high fives on the playing field! Greet each other with jazz hands. (OK, so that one is extreme, but I love that idea!)

We can tell them to wash their hands till we’re blue in the face, but do they listen? It’s common knowledge that they love to question authority. They love to buck the system. They love their independence, and that means they want to make their own (bad) decisions. As my brother would say, “They are victims of their own bad choices.”

But there are ways to help them. Teenagers love humor. My theory is that if we can make it funny to keep their hands clean, we’ve actually accomplished something. I’ve found some products that are perfect for that, and I’m sharing them right now. Get some of them before they are all sold out.

• Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer. (This product is now sold out, but you might be able to find it at your local Urban Outfitter retail store.) I’ve promoted this product before. No, I’m not getting a kickback from the manufacturer. I just think it’s a great name for a useful product. And teenagers actually want to use it, because it’s funny! Stock up at Amazon now by clicking here.  
• My Job Gives Me Diarrhea. Another disgusting name that teenagers will love. Come on…admit it. Teenagers, especially boys, love potty humor. What’s funnier than diarrhea to a teenage boy (unless he’s the one who has it)?!? Heck, there’s even a song kids sing about it…”Diarrhea, cha cha cha. Diarrhea, cha cha cha. You may really think it’s funny, but it’s really green and runny. Diarrhea, cha cha cha.” Disgusting. But the word “diarrhea” on a bottle of hand sanitizer will make them use it. Get it at Amazon here.
• The Bus Seat Smells Like Egg Salad Hand Sanitizer. The name of this one is slightly more tame, but it gets the point across…more potty humor. Because why, why oh why, would the bus seat smell like egg salad? Blah! Priced at $5.99, it’s a deal, and it’s funny too! Get it at Oldies.com here.
• WTF Was That?!? Hand Sanitizer. “WTF” can mean lots of things…”why the fuss?!?!”…but teenagers like to translate it into something unsavory. And that’s what makes this funny to them. Want your child to use his/her hand sanitizer?!? This will do the trick. Sorry, moms and grandmas all over the world. The truth hurts. Get it at Amazon here.

I can also make my own hand sanitizer using rubbing alcohol and aloe vera gel. Using two parts rubbing alcohol (99% alcohol works best) and one part aloe vera gel, you can mix your own! Add a few drops of essential oil (lavender? Peppermint? Lemon?) for fragrance, and you have homemade hand sanitizer! Put it in a small container from the travel section at Target, slap your own silly label on it, and your teens will think you’re a genius!

But then, we can always go to Etsy and order some personalized hand sanitizers. There are lots of options, and we can have some of them print anything we want on the label. I can be as funny and inappropriate as I want with the label, or I can simply call it “Because I Said So.”

Of course, we still have to remind them to wash their hands regularly and wipe down any shared areas with antibacterial wipes. Will they remember not to touch their faces?!? If they do, we might see more teenagers with really nice skin this spring! We have to tell them to avoid people who appear sick and don’t gather large groups in small spaces.

Parenting teenagers is not easy.