Don’t sweat fall sorority rush yet.

I have received three phone calls from worried friends this week. Their daughters are planning to participate in sorority rush in the fall at big southern schools, and they are worried they should be working on “rush stuff” right now. No. The answer is no. Let your daughter enjoy her senior year!

Mom, you can start thinking about the preparation, but there’s no need to be consumed by it. What can you do now? Look up which sororities have chapters at your daughter’s school. Start thinking of your friends who know your daughter; which ones were in sororities in college and would be willing and able to write recommendations for your daughter? Make a list in the notes on your phone. Or you can do like one of my friends and make a spreadsheet. I’m not Type A, so a spreadsheet was not my thing. I just made a list. Anytime you’re out and about and hear that someone is a member or alumna of a sorority, make a note of it in your phone.

If you’re thinking about hiring a rush consultant, that’s entirely up to you. We didn’t hire one for my daughter when she rushed, and she landed exactly where she wanted to be. I have lots of friends who have daughters who have rushed, and personally, I don’t know anyone who hired a consultant. And all my friends have daughters who are very happy with their rush choices. The hiring of a consultant is a personal choice.

Seriously, right now, just start compiling your recommendation list and having your daughter start working on her resumé. The girls cannot even make a complete resumé right now, because they don’t know what they’ll have to add before the end of the school year.

In May, have your daughter contact your friends who are sorority alumnae by phone, text, or email to ask them to write recommendations for her. This is something she needs to do herself, and she needs to ask people who actually know her. In a pinch, she can ask a friend of a friend. Recommendations are basically introductions of your daughter to the chapters, so she will want them to be able to write about her from personal knowledge. For example, when my neighbor’s daughter participated in “recruitment,” I was able to write a detailed recommendation/introduction of her, because I had first-hand knowledge of her personality and great attributes. Try to get recommendations to every chapter, and whatever you do, make sure your daughter does not say to any alumnae, “I’m only interested in sororities A, B, and C.” First, it sounds bad. Secondly, until rush begins, your daughter might think she knows what she likes, but she might change her mind. She also might not get invited to the ones she think she will.

You can start looking at dresses if you like. Spring dresses are coming out now, so it’s perfectly fine to start looking and even purchasing dresses she thinks she will wear. When shopping, look for fairly conservative dresses but not too conservative. Amanda Uprichard offers some great options at amandauprichard.com.

But right now, the main thing is to have rush in the back of your mind. Keep you ears and eyes open for people who can help with recommendations. Soak up every moment of senior year of high school, and enjoy having your daughter at home with you!

Here’s a rough timeline of preparation:

• January-April: Find out which sororities have chapters on campus. Also, make a list/spreadsheet of sorority alumni who can write recommendations for your daughter. ***ALSO, make sure your daughter cleans up her social media…no alcohol or extreme photos.***
• March-May: watch the university’s Panhellenic website to find out when registration is. At most southern universities, you can register for fall rush starting in May.
• May-June: Your daughter can contact sorority alumni and ask for recommendations, telling them they will send their resumé soon.
• June: create a resumé using the Canva app or another app. Distribute the resumé to the alumni who have agreed to write recommendations. Most sororities want digital recommendations now, so please don’t do old school “rush packets.” If you don’t know what that is, don’t worry about it…you don’t need to know.
• July: make sure you have your rush wardrobe, and finish gathering everything for the “rush bag.” For more information on the rush bag, click here.
• Late July/August: move her into her dorm and let the magic happen!

I will have posts later in the spring and summer with more information.

Mostly, relax. Don’t let your daughter get nervous about it.

***Over the next few days, I will be re-posting some posts about rush and preparation for it.***