Category / college

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush Conversations

Sorority rush conversations.

***I am not a sorority recruitment consultant.

Participating in sorority recruitment soon? You’ve probably wondered what people talk about when they go to rush parties. You aren’t being officially “interviewed.” It’s more of a conversation. There are lots of topics, but the main thing is you want to come across as likable, enthusiastic, and interested. How to do that? Here are some ideas:

  • Listen to your rush counselor. Above all else, listen to your rush counselor. They are well-trained.
  • Have some questions in mind. Here’s the deal: in most cases, the sorority member will get the conversation rolling. She isn’t going to be “interviewing” you. She is going to talk to you like one college girl talking to another. However, it is important that you are an active participant. Be prepared to answer questions about yourself. What’s your major? How did you pick this school? What do you like to do on weekends? To see more likely questions, click here. Those are all standard questions a sorority member could ask just to get the ball rolling. Usually, you can find a common topic through those questions. If it doesn’t happen, you need to have some questions of your own to ask…open-ended questions to get a conversation rolling. See a list of some here. Just have a few questions in mind, in case they ask you if you have questions, and in case there is a lull in conversation.
  • Answer enthusiastically. When a member asks you questions, do not answer with a simple “yes” or “no.” For example, if she asks if you’re enjoying recruitment, you might respond, “Yes! I’m having the best time! I love the girls in my rush group, and I feel like I’m meeting awesome new friends everywhere I turn!” If she asks what your major is, talk about it. “Right now, I’m majoring in biology. I’ve always loved science. I hear the biology classes are really hard here, but I’m excited to get started! What’s YOUR major?” Never, ever look bored at a party…always excited to be there. Sometimes, the girls in a chapter will gauge your interest based on the look on your face and body language, so even when you’re tired, muster up some enthusiasm!
  • Check their social media. Between parties, it’s OK to check the social media account of the next chapter you’re visiting. You might get some conversation topics. Maybe you see photos of the members’ summer activities. You can say, “Wow! I saw so many fun places y’all visited on your Instagram!” That could lead a member to talk about what she did over the summer. Or you could say, “I love the chapter Instagram account! The photos from your philanthropy event in the spring were awesome!” But make sure you know what you’re talking about and don’t mix up chapters.
  • Ask the member about herself. People love it when someone asks about them. Therefore, ask about the girl’s major, her interests, her hometown, her rush experience, her hobbies, etc.
  • Be engaged. Listen closely to what she says/asks. Don’t look around the room when you’re talking with a sorority member. Pay attention to what she is saying. Make eye contact. Smile.
  • Don’t talk about sensitive subjects. Do not discuss boys (boyfriends, swaps, etc), religion, politics, alcohol, or money (how much you have or don’t have, how much are dues, etc). Some people call it the Bs: boys, Bible, Biden, booze, bucks.
  • Be friendly and polite. Whether you are truly interested in the chapter or not, be friendly and polite. Remember, most sorority girls have friends in other chapters, and if you’re rude, they will tell their friends in other chapters. Word gets around. Also, always thank the girls. If you are talking with a girl and she hands you off to another one (you’ll usually talk to more than one girl during a party), thank each girl at the end of each conversation. It’s OK to say, “I enjoyed talking with you! Thank you!” Also, make sure to thank the girl who walks you out. Thanking someone is always a good idea.
  • Do NOT discuss other chapters with sorority members or with other PNMs. No one needs to know who dropped you. No one needs to know your favorites. No one needs to know which chapters you do or don’t want to join. Do not speak ill of any chapters or sorority members. Keep your preferences to yourself.

If Panhellenic at the school you’re attending publishes a recruitment guide, read it thoroughly. You are more likely to have a fun experience during recruitment if you are well-informed.

Most of all, enjoy the experience!

by Kelly Mattei

Wardrobe Boxes Make Dorm Move-In Easier

Wardrobe boxes make dorm move-in easier.

With wardrobe boxes from Amazon. I ordered them last year when we moved our daughter into the dorm, and they were awesome! In fact, she told me yesterday that she wants to use them when she moves into the sorority house this year! Basically, they are boxes with a bar across the top, so your clothes remain hanging for transport. Sure, some of the dresses wrinkle at the bottom, but most tops/pants remain unwrinkled. You can hang a lot of hangers on each one. When we arrived at her dorm room, we simply lifted the hanging clothes from the bar and put them in the closet! So easy!

They’re just $34.99 for three boxes! Order from Amazon here to get them in time for move-in!

by Kelly Mattei

College Nesting?

I posted this last year, as we were preparing to send our daughter to her freshman year of college…

College nesting?

Nineteen years ago, we were eagerly awaiting the arrival of our daughter. She was due on October 11, so in August and September of that year, I was in full-on “nesting mode.” Anyone who has ever expected a baby knows what I’m talking about…that need to get every detail squared away before the baby arrives. Back then, we read all about it in What to Expect When You’re Expecting, so we weren’t surprised when we found ourselves lining drawers and washing everything in sight.

Fast forward 19 years, and I find myself doing the same thing.

Why am I “nesting” for my soon-to-be college freshman?

Why am I nesting for my soon-to-be college freshman? It had never occurred to me that this could happen, but a couple of days ago, as I packed up some IKEA bags with dorm bedding, lighting, and other items, I realized, “I’m nesting.” Unfortunately, I haven’t ever found a book called What to Expect When You’re Sending Your Child to College, so I don’t have any reference. Sure, I have called my friends who have college kids and asked them about it. They all assure me that what I’m doing is perfectly normal…that it’s a way of dealing with the transition. I just wish I could see it in writing somewhere.

Is the transition going to be easy? No. I am beyond excited for our daughter. She is going to enjoy the full college experience at my alma mater. Sure, there will be days she is stressed out or even homesick, but hopefully, I will be able to talk her through it. Or her friends will distract her. Or she will get busy and forget about homesickness. As for me, I don’t know who will talk me through it. I will miss her like crazy. Will I be able to handle it? Yes, of course. No, I’m not planning to move to be near her college. In fact, I have three big vacations planned for the month following her departure. If that doesn’t help take my mind off it, nothing will.

But that’s why this whole college nesting thing happens…for the parents. Any good parent is likely a little worried about their college-bound kid. I’m not worried about her handling the school work. She will figure that out. I know, too, that she will make new friends quickly…especially since she will be living in a dorm. It’s more of a concern about her spinning her wheels trying to get everything else done. I know she can and will do it, but my nesting instinct is making me prepare everything I can for her room. Cold/nausea/pain medications? Check. I don’t want her to have to run out to look for meds if she is feeling poorly. Cleaning supplies/vacuum cleaner? Check. I have no idea how often she and her roommate will clean the bathroom in their dorm room, but I want to make sure the tools are there. Laundry supplies/clothing prep? Check. I have packed a stand-up steamer and laundry supplies, including Static Guard, a wrinkle releaser, an on-the-go spot remover, and a small sewing kit. Basic school supplies? Check. Having a few things in advance won’t hurt. Bins and organizers for the room? Check. They likely won’t be used as planned, but they have them if they want them.

I know she and her roommate will need to go out and get more things after we, the parents, hit the road. It will give them an excuse to get out of the dorm for a little while. Do I think they will end up doubling up on some of the things I have carefully packed and organized for them? Yes, because they won’t even look at a lot of the things I have packed. They won’t even realize they already have rubberbands and paperclips. And that’s OK.

Whether they use the things I have packed or not, I will know I sent her off prepared for most things. She might go out and look for Band-Aids for the blisters on her heels even though I packed them in a medicine box for them. And again, that’s OK. I know those Band-Aids are there for them. That’s why I’m “college nesting,” just like other parents are all over the country right now. Sure, it’s for them, but mostly, it makes me feel better about her departure. By focusing on mundane tasks, I am not focusing on the fact that this child (adult?) I have nurtured and loved for almost 19 years is flying the coop.

She is leaving us and will never live in our house again on a permanent basis. I think that’s the fact I am trying to process while I’m preparing her for the next school year. We are proud parents. We are happy that she is moving into this next phase of life, and we are excited about what it means for us too. But it’s going to be a transition, for sure.

I guess I should get busy packing up some clothes for her today.

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush: Last Minute Items

Sorority Rush: Last Minute Items.

If you’re planning to participate in sorority recruitment in the fall at a southern school, you likely registered already. Mark that off your checklist. You likely have your recommendations done. You probably have picked out your wardrobe and are just finishing up assembling your rush bag. What else is there to do?

Well, you have to wait, of course, but while you wait, there are some things you can do:

  • Shore up your wardrobe. Yes, you have a few dresses for rush, but depending on the school you are attending, you might need/want more than one dress per round. At The University of Alabama, for example, Philanthropy Round takes place over three days. You won’t know your schedule until everything gets started, so right now, you don’t know if you’ll have parties on one day, two days, or all three days. It’s best to be prepared for all three days. Sure, you can wear the same shorts/skirt to all three days of Philanthropy Round, but what if you sweat a lot in it? Will you want to wear it again? What if you spill something on it? Same for Sisterhood Round: if it takes place over two days, can you wear the same dress both days? Yes. Do you really want to? There’s still time to purchase another dress or two if you think you need it. Just remember, it’s hot in the south in August! Amazon has some cute dresses at these links:
    • Smocked Mini Dress. Y’all this inexpensive dress comes in several colors. I love all of them! They’re great for those really hot game days too! Priced under $30, these are adorable! See them here.
    • Love Shack Fancy. I know lots of girls love their Love Shack Fancy dresses. Get their cute Russ dress here. It’s pricy, but it’s cute!
    • One shoulder dress. Pretty Garden has an adorable one-shoulder tiered dress in several colors for under $50. Check it out here.
    • Another one-shoulder dress that resembles Love Shack Fancy, in my opinion. It also comes in lots of colors and is less than $50. See it here.
    • Amanda Uprichard dresses. Amanda Uprichard makes lots of great dresses for rush. See a selection here.
    • Belle Maison Collective. This boutique is out of Huntsville, Alabama, and they have some great options for rush…dresses, shoes, skirts, and shorts. Take a peek here.
    • Revolve. Check revolve.com for some great dress deals, since they have put a lot of seasonal items on sale! Click here.
    • Shopbop. Another great resource is shopbop.com. Click here.
    • Zara. At our house, we love Zara. Click here to see what they have.
  • Pick shoes. When picking which shoes you want to wear with which outfit during rush, remember you don’t need to be uncomfortable. If your feet are hurting throughout the process, you won’t feel your best, and likely won’t project your best self. This is not the time to try a new pair of stilettos. Also, don’t forget to have some comfy slippers/Crocs/flip flops in your Rush Bag, so you can wear them between parties.
  • Accessorize. It’s important to accessorize but not over-accessorize. Understated elegance is best…pearl earrings, small gold hoops, etc.
  • Rush Bag. Don’t forget to put together a Rush bag to help you freshen up between parties in weather so hot it feels like the surface of the sun! To see what you need for the bag, click here.

It’s almost time! So exciting! When my daughter went through the recruitment process last year, she made some great memories!

by Kelly Mattei

More Great Prime Day Deals!

More great Prime Day deals! Get them now…today!

  • Ring doorbell. There are some insanely good deals on Ring Doorbells at Prime today! Wow! If you don’t have one, now is the time to get it! One model that’s normally $100 is now $55…that’s 45% off! See it here. Another one, that’s wired with ring chime, is normally $79, but is going for $49.99…that’s 38% off! See it here. And the All-New Ring Battery Doorbell Plus, regularly priced at $ 179.99 is now $129.99, a savings of 28%. See it here. Or see all the Ring doorbell offerings here. The ones marked with red “Prime Day Deal” are the ones on sale.
  • Apple Airpods (2nd gen). Normally $129, these are now $89.99 on Amazon Prime…today only, since it’s a Prime Day Deal! Go get them here.
  • Black and Decker Dustbuster. Save 33% on the Black and Decker Dustbuster today only…marked down from $60 to $40! Have a student going to college? They need this! Or maybe you just need one around the house. Take advantage of this deal here.
  • Ruggable. Y’all have heard of Ruggable rugs…washable rugs with great designs! All their rugs are discounted on Prime Day! Get one or more today for dorm rooms, kitchens, bedrooms, hallways…get them now for discounted prices! Get this deal here.
  • Nordictrack Treadmill. In the market for a quality treadmill at a discounted price? Get a Nordictrack one at Prime Days…that means TODAY! Normally $800, it’s now $600…that’s 25% off. Get it now here.
  • Saucony Sneakers. Need new sneakers or running shoes? Lots of Saucony styles are on sale…some are regularly $130 and are being sold for less that $40!!! This is your chance to get some quality sneaks for a great price! See them here.
  • Luggage. Need new luggage? There are all kinds of crazy deals for Prime Day here. Save money by getting it now and use it on that last trip of the summer! My friend bought some yesterday for a trip next week!

*See my posts from yesterday for more great deals here and here and here.

***Keep checking back! I’ll post more deals as I see them!***

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush Deals on Amazon Prime Days

Sorority rush deals on Amazon Prime Days.

Amazon Prime Days are here, so it’s a great time to scoop up some of the deals on things you can use for sorority recruitment!

  • Rush Bag. You know that rush bag you need to hold the essentials for hot days in recruitment in the south? There are some great deals on bags that would be great. One great nylon deal is here. Or maybe you prefer neoprene? Click here.
  • Dresses. If you still need to add some dresses to your recruitment lineup, there are some great Amanda Uprichard dresses offered on Prime Days here. See some BB Dakota Prime deals here. Or for great variety, check out Shopbop’s Amazon Prime offerings. We love Shopbop, and I especially love that I can shop them through Amazon. They also have great shoes for rush! click here. Also, don’t forget you’ll likely need a swimsuit right after recruitment for your pledge retreat!
  • Comfy shoes. Last year, when my daughter participated in recruitment at Alabama, she had some comfy shoes to slip on her feet between parties. For a great deal through Prime Days on some, click here. My daughter wore her Ugg slippers. Fluffettes are on sale for Prime Day for $80 (reg $110) here. Or maybe some Crocs? They have tons of Crocs with Prime Day deals here.
  • Rush bag essentials. Band-Aids for those blistered heels? Click here. There are some great Prime deals on Neosporin to treat those blisters here. Prime Day deals on Motrin and Tylenol for that Rush Bag here. Prime Day deals on travel size hand sanitizer here. Get your handheld fan at a deep discount here. And a great deal on a travel/folding umbrella to fit in your rush bag here. If you think you won’t need that umbrella in the south, you’re wrong. Just do it.
  • Small charger for your bag. Get a Prime deal on one here.
  • Velvet hangers. Hang your lovely rush dresses on velvet hangers to keep them from slipping off the hanger, and also to conserve room in your tiny dorm closet. There’s a Prime deal here.

I’ll keep posting more deals as I find them! Get busy shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

Get Dorm Stuff on Prime Days

Get dorm stuff on Prime Days, July 11 and 12…deals available to Amazon Prime members! ****Keep checking back, as I will be adding items to this list today and tomorrow!****

You can see dorm essential deals on Amazon Prime Days here. Simply scroll through the pages at the link and pick up what you need at Prime Day discount prices…today and tomorrow only! See below for some of the deals, but click the above link for all the dorm essentials. Here are some great deals:

  • Garbage can. Your dorm room might not provide it. We had to provide it for our daughter’s room in Tutwiler Hall at a Alabama this past year. For a deal, click here.
  • Vacuum cleaners and air purifiers. You student might need a vacuum cleaner and/or air purifier in a dorm or an apartment. Our daughter had a Dyson vacuum cleaner; see the Dyson vacuum and air purifier deals…up to 51% off…deals here. See the Bissell…up to 36% off… deals here. There are also deals from Shark here.
  • Yeti Coolers and Drinkware. Get some great Prime deals on Yeti products here!
  • Bose headphones and speakers. Amazon Prime has some great Prime Day deals on Fantastic Bose products…up to 40% off! This is a big deal! See them here.
  • Vitamix Blenders. I never see these on sale, but for Prime Days, you can get up to 40% off the legendary Vitamix Blenders here.
  • Amazon Fire TV. It’s a great time to purchase an Amazon Fire TV! Some are 38% off! See them here. And their smart TVs at up to 41% off here.
  • Keurig coffeemakers. You have to love seeing these on sale! One cup or multi-cup…get them on Prime Day here.
  • Ergonomic Chair by Sihoo. I have one of these, and I think they’d be great in a dorm room. They promote good posture and take some pressure off your lower back. At prices up to 49% off, they’re a Prime deal. See them here.
  • Sleepyhead Mattress Topper. These rarely go on sale, and Sleepyhead is the gold standard in mattress toppers. See the deals (20% off!) on gel toppers here and copper toppers also 20% off here.
  • Towels. There are lots of Prime Day deals on various towels, which your student will definitely need in the dorm. See them here.
  • First Aid Kit. Your students needs a handy first aid kit in the dorm room. See options in Prime Deals here.
  • Rugs. There are some great deals on rugs here.
  • Desk lamps. Check Prime Day deals on desk lamps here. There are lots of deals to be had!
  • Folding chair/convertible chaise lounge/cot. It’s great to have one of these in dorm rooms. My daughter had lots of friends visit from other schools. Get one here.
  • Shower curtain. Don’t forget they might need a shower curtain, if they have a private shower! Amazon Prime deals here.
  • Swiffer duster. Just get it. College dorms are full of dust bunnies. Encourage your child to dust his/her room at least once a week. It’s easy with Swiffer. Get it here.
  • Upright Steamer. If your daughter is going to college in the south, she will definitely use a steamer. Participating in recruitment? She will use it throughout the process. She’ll also use it regularly on dresses/pants/tops for game days and parties. I recommend a great upright steamer for several reasons: ease of use, usually higher wattage, freestanding, and it’s too easy for someone to take a handheld steamer out of your room. The Rowenta I recommend is a great steamer, and it’s a great deal on Prime Days! See it here. Or see other Prime Day deals on steamers here.
  • Martha Stewart Cookware. Is your child moving into an apartment? They’ll need basic pots and pans. This Martha Stewart brand set is a bargain on Prime Days! Click here!
  • Seasonal Affective Disorder Lamps. If your student suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder, get prepared with Happy Lights from Verilux. Lots of deals on Prime Days here.

Get busy shopping for those Prime Day deals…available to Amazon Prime members!

by Kelly Mattei

Preparing for 2nd Year of College

Preparing for 2nd year of college.

Last year, at this time, I was at a completely different place in life. My only child, a daughter, was preparing to leave for her freshman year of college 450 miles away from home…and me…450 miles away from me. Actually, for the most part, I was the one preparing. I’m not even sure she was giving it much thought, as she tried to relish every moment with her friends at home. I, however, was gathering everything I could think of that she might need for a dorm room. I was trying to have everything done, but there were definitely things I missed. You can read my piece titled College Nesting here. *See the bottom of this page for information about things you might need for a freshman dorm room that you haven’t considered.

But here we are, one year later, and it’s amazing how things have changed!

My daughter leaves in less than a month to start her sophomore year. Ask me how many times we have discussed bedding or dorm essentials. Zero. OK, maybe once…when I asked if I need to be worrying about her room in the sorority house, and she told me no. That’s it. I’m not even exactly sure what day we are taking her back! August 3rd? 4th? 5th? I have asked several times, but I get a different answer every time, and I’m not worried about it. We will take her when we take her.

Last year at this time, I was worried she might get homesick. She was fine. I was worried she wouldn’t know how to handle medical emergencies. She had a few and handled them like a pro! I was worried I would miss her so badly that my heart would break. It didn’t. I probably wasn’t as worried as most moms, because I’m just not a worrier, but I had a little bit of worry. I was mostly excited. I was excited about all the new friends she would make. I was excited for her to start classes. And yes, I was excited about becoming an empty-nester.

OK, so maybe “empty-nester” is a little extreme. No, she isn’t living in our nest full-time anymore, but we are paying all her bills. She is self-sufficient as far as taking care of herself, but financially…not one bit. So we are empty-nesters in that we have the house to ourselves most of the time, but the credit card bills would say otherwise.

Moms of college freshmen, if you’re wondering what you’ll be like in one year from now, I can’t tell you exactly, but I can tell you how things have played out for me. Life is a little quieter in some ways but more fun in some ways too. On a day-to-day basis, when our daughter is away at college, life is quieter. I have my hobbies. I have my friends. I have some work to do. I have plenty to keep myself busy, but it’s quieter around our house while she’s at school, for sure. This summer hasn’t been so quiet, because her friends have been in and out of the house all day and night when we have been home. How is it more fun since she left? Well, my husband and I have enjoyed some trips together that we wouldn’t have been able to make if our daughter were still in high school. Back then, we had to plan everything around the school calendar. Not anymore! Now, we just pick dates and go! Does that mean life is more fun without her around? No way! She is way more fun than either of us, so we always love having her with us.

We get really excited every time we get to see her!

Do I miss having my daughter around all the time? I definitely miss my time with her, but we talk everyday. She didn’t come home a lot during the school year, so we were excited when it was time for her to come home for summer! She had only been home for about a week when we remembered how much noisier our household is with her here. We enjoy her friends. We enjoy the silliness. But we don’t sleep as much when she’s here, because she is in and out of the house at all hours. It doesn’t bother me as much as it bothers my “disciplined” husband who believes he should go to sleep and wake up at the exact same time every single day of life. I’m less rigid, so it doesn’t bother me, but I have to listen to him. Ugh. I always say, “He just stays in my ear!” And that’s the truth, but I have to admit he’s getting better.

So what am I doing to prepare for her to go back to school? I’m not doing all the things I was doing last year. I’m not running around trying to find things for the dorm or dresses for sorority recruitment. I’m just relaxing. She’ll take care of it. She has a year of college experience behind her, and she knows what she needs.

***Dorm items you might not realize you need:

  • Clothes steamer. If your daughter is going to school in the south, she needs a steamer. I don’t care if it’s upright or handheld, she needs one. I sent my daughter and her roommate with an upright one, and they used it all the time. Purchase it here. (It’s a quality steamer!) For a quality handheld one, click here. Here’s my theory: an upright, to me, is easier to use, and no one will remove it from the room. A handheld one is much more likely to go missing when someone “borrows” it. Keep that in mind.
  • Bluetooth Speaker. They need it. Just trust me on this. JBL has a whole Amazon store. You can certainly find what you need here. My daughter needed her speaker, but I didn’t think of it in advance, so I took it when I went down for a football game. How did I not know she would need it? Back when I was in school, we played “getting ready” music; surely, they still do that? By the way, my own personal “get ready” music back in the day was Aretha Franklin’s Greatest Hits.
  • Swiffer. Dust bunnies collect fast in dorm rooms. Encourage your student to keep the floor in his/her room with a Swiffer. Purchase here.
  • Disinfecting Wipes. They might not even use them, but if they get the urge to wipe down the surfaces in their rooms, these work great, and they’re disposable! Purchase here.
  • Can and bottle opener. Last year, when my daughter wasn’t feeling well, a friend brought her a can of chicken noodle soup, but she couldn’t open it, because she didn’t have a can opener. Make sure your student has a can and bottle opener! Purchase here. And make sure they know how to use it beforehand! See some other cool gadgets for opening plastic soda bottles and jars here.
  • Laundry backpack. You can get baskets or bags, but laundry backpacks are a lot easier to carry! See them here.
  • Medicines. In the state where my daughter goes to college, people under 19 cannot purchase cold medicines…not even Benadryl! Therefore, I tried to think of every possible medical item she could need, and I packed them in boxes….bandages, Band-Aids, Neosporin, Motrin, Tylenol, Benadryl, Cortisone cream, allergy creams, cold meds, cough meds…and on the labels, I wrote when to use them…for cough, for fever, for headaches, for muscle aches, etc. I used plastic storage bins from Amazon. There are lots to choose from here.
  • Hulken Bag. I tell everyone about these all the time, because we have them, and we use them all the time! They’re especially helpful when taking things to and from the car. For example, if my daughter goes to the UPS Store to pick up packages, she might have several. It can be difficult to carry them all in, but she just puts them in her Hulken bag and pulls them in! See it here. I highly recommend them. And when you’re not using it, just fold it and put it away!

by Kelly Mattei

Moms and Sorority Rush

Moms and sorority rush.

*The photo above is a file photo from Wikimedia Commons in 2008. It should not be used as an example of “what to wear” during recruitment 2023.*

Yes, it’s a thing. Moms get involved in sorority rush at big southern schools. Does that mean they’re actively going from house to house with their daughters? No. Oh Lord, I hope not…for their own sake but especially for their daughters’ sakes. But yes, Moms help their daughters prepare for rush. They worry about them. They get nervous. They feel all pain and all excitement. Some of them might have been in sororities themselves, and they want their daughters to pledge their chapter. Perhaps a mom has expectations about some chapters offering her daughter a bid. Maybe another mom thinks her daughter couldn’t possibly be dropped by a house. Maybe another one is worried hers will be dropped by every house.

The truth of the matter is that every mom is different, and every girl’s rush experience is different, so different moms and daughters will have different approaches. However, there are some things that are pretty universal…or should be:

  • Help prepare. For information on recruitment preparation, click here. Mom should be calling all her friends asking if any of them are sorority members, and if so, would they write a recommendation for her daughter? She should help her daughter shop for dresses and for the all-important “rush bag.” (See info about the Rush Bag here.) Most moms I know also proofread/edit their daughters’ resumes…or ask someone else to do it. And she should remind her daughter that it is important to keep an open mind about the chapters while she participates in recruitment.
  • Be supportive and positive. This is a stressful time for the girls, so they need the support from Mom. They need reassurance. They need you to be their cheerleaders this week. They need their moms to tell them how much they believe in them.
  • Be realistic. You have likely seen a list of the sorority chapters’ required or recommended GPAs for potential new members. Take those seriously. Those recommendations are there for a reason. No chapter wants to take a grade risk, because the “grade risk” is more likely not to stay in school, based on her academic history. Sororities like to maintain their membership, so if someone fails out of school, it hurts the chapter.
  • Be sympathetic. If/when daughter calls Mom and says, “My favorite house dropped me,” Mom needs to be sympathetic but not enabling. Do not enable your daughter to drop out of the process. If she will stick it out, chances are she will end up where she belongs. Encourage her to continue with the process! If she still has houses inviting her back, then she can still land somewhere she will be happy.
  • Be smart. Remember, some of recruitment is a numbers game. There are different reasons people get dropped, and it’s not always personal. It might be that a chapter is focusing on a different geographic area. It might be that a chapter has a lot of in-house sisters. It might be a GPA issue. Or maybe they are simply looking for something else. Mom, as difficult as it is, remind your daughter not to take it personally.

What are the no-nos for Mom? Well, different people have different thoughts, but I think it’s important for Mom to let her daughter fly. Don’t hover. Get her moved into the dorm, and then, let her start rush without Mom looking over her shoulder. If Mom doesn’t hover, the daughter can make new friends more quickly. And mom shouldn’t put undue pressure on her daughter to pledge where she wants her to pledge.

Mom, you’re likely to feel like you’re going through recruitment with your daughter, and in some ways, you are, but when it comes right down to it…it’s your daughter’s experience. Let her make it her own.

by Kelly Mattei

Shopping for College Dorm Items?

Shopping for college dorm items?

Last year, at this time in summer, my daughter and I were spending a lot of time trying to figure out what she needed and wanted for her dorm room. We were fortunate her roommate’s mother is a designer, so for the decor, I just needed to write a check…no decisions to be made on my part. However, there were lots of other things to consider. FYI: Amazon Prime Days are July 11-12 this year, so keep that in mind. You can save loads of money on Prime Days. If you don’t have an Amazon Prime account, now is definitely the time to get one. Your student can get a prime account for half price…a little-known fact…and get a 6-month free trial! It’s worth it, for sure! Check out the student account here. There are lots of great dorm deals to be had on Amazon Prime Days.

Before I get any deeper into this, let me remind you to LABEL EVERYTHING THAT GOES INTO A DORM ROOM WITH YOUR STUDENT’S NAME. It’s no joke. Sure, things will still go missing, but if something is located, at least there will be no question about the ownership. You don’t need special labels. All you need is a Sharpie marker. I keep them at my house in bulk. You can order a box of them here. Or get just three here. I wrote my daughter’s name in the corners of her bath towels, hand towels, washcloths, and even in the tags of some of her clothes! I even write our names and phone numbers on luggage, just as a safeguard in case the tags are removed or fall off at the airport. I’m a crazy lady with a Sharpie, no doubt, but it came in handy, when there was a question about which towels were hers at move-out.

And did you know there are “invite-only deals” on Amazon? Yes! It’s a thing! Just click on the link here and scroll down to “invite-only deals.” Request an invitation, and on Prime Days, you’ll receive an email with the info to purchase the discounted item! It’s insanity!

Don’t forget there are daily deals on Amazon every single day for Prime members! To see today’s “off to college” deals, click here. At time of writing, I see deals on Amazon Fire TV, velvet hangers (you need these to save space in small dorm-room closets!), sheets, surge protectors, cordless vacuums, fans, storage bins, and more…up to 79% off some items! Get busy shopping now!

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