Category / motherhood

by Kelly Mattei

Summer Dresses for Moms

Summer dresses for Moms.

I love summer, and I love summer dresses. Going out to lunch? Wear a cute, comfortable dress. Going to visit friends? Wear a cute, comfortable dress. It’s hot here in the south, and anything that helps me stay cool is a great thing for me. I wear a lot of dresses during summer…short dresses, long dresses…I love them all. If you like to feel more free during the hot months, check out these summer dresses in lots of different styles:

  • Amazon Essentials Short-Sleeve Swing Dress. You can’t get a more basic summer dress than this one. It’s cute, comfortable, and you can dress it up or dress it down. Add a cute denim jacket for a casual look, or add a colorful scarf to dress it up. Priced under $25, you might want it in several colors! Purchase it here.
  • The Drop Dakota Belted Mini Dress. I love this dress (below). It comes in several different colors, lots of sizes, and the price is right at about $50. Purchase it here.
  • More from The Drop. In fact, The Drop has lots of dresses I love for summer…with great prices! Some examples are below. To see their offerings click here.
  • Rails Tara Dress. Rails makes some great lightweight, cute dresses for summer, like this Tara Dress (below). Priced at $198, it’s a little more expensive, but it’s cute and perfect for high temperatures. Purchase here.
  • French Connection Long Tiered Dress. (See below) This one is colorful and lightweight, but has long sleeves, making it perfect for restaurants, theaters, and other places that can be a little cool when you walk indoors. Priced under $100. Purchase it here.
  • English Factory Mixed Media Dress. (See below) This one is a personal favorite, because it’s comfortable, but has texture and sleeves that camouflage my upper arms. Priced at just $60, you should get one in every color! It’s offered in seven colors! Purchase here.

Lilly Pulitzer Hollie Tunic Dress. (See below) Lilly Pulitzer knows color, and this tunic dress is great for girls’ lunches, but it can even work in casual office settings. I love that it’s a shorter dress but has 3/4 sleeves. This one is priced a little higher at $178. Purchase it here. And to see other great Lilly Pulitzer summer dresses, click here.

  • BB Dakota Wild Spirit Dress. Need something a little dressier but still comfy? Priced at under $55, this one is perfect for a summer dinner out or at a summer cocktail party. Made of 100% cotton, it’s breathable. Purchase here.
  • Trina Turk A-Line Cotton Dress. I love this dress in both colors. It’s a little pricey, but I think this is one I will wear all the time. The bright colors make me happy! Sure, it’s $278, and that’s a lot, but when I think in terms of “price per wear,” knowing I will have this dress for years to come, it doesn’t bother me as much. Purchase here. Or to see more cute Trina Turk styles, click here.

Those are some of my favorite summer dresses, and if you’re wondering what kinds of shoes to wear with summer dresses, I love Sorel sport sandals. See them here. Scroll down the page. They’re comfortable and cute, with rubber soles that offer stability when walking outdoors.

HAPPY SHOPPING!

by Kelly Mattei

Shop for Mother’s Day Now (Before it’s Too Late)

Shop for Mother’s Day now (before it’s too late).

Ten days until Mother’s Day! That’s it! Time to get busy finding something for Mom! If you didn’t purchase any of my previous ideas, here are a few more you can get from Amazon in time for Mother’s Day:

  • Purse-shaped vase. I know it sounds unusual, but that’s the charm of it! If my husband or daughter gave me this vase for fresh cut flowers, I would be thrilled! It comes in four colors and is priced under $50! Purchase here.

  • Christian Dior J’Ador Parfum Rollerball. This rollerball perfume is easily dispensed, and the floral scent is long lasting but not overpowering. Priced under $50, it’s a great gift for Mom. We all like to see “Dior” on the label! Purchase here.
  • Dior Addict Lip Products. Since we’re discussing Dior, we should talk about the Dior Addict Lip products. Priced at under $50 each, they make great gifts. Whether you choose a balm, a plumper, or an oil…they’re all great! And the packaging is pretty too! My new favorite is the Lip Glow Oil, priced at about $50, See the Dior Addict lip offerings on Amazon here.
  • Raised Planter Box. If mom enjoys gardening as much as I do, she’ll likely appreciate this raised planter box. I have two of them, and they save me every spring from having to do so much bending over. And as my potted plants start to bloom, they look gorgeous in these! Assembly is required, but the hubby and I were able to do it with no trouble. Priced at $129, it’s not an inexpensive gift, but to me, it’s worth every penny. Order now for quick delivery. Purchase here.
  • Glass witch ball. I gave one of these to my mother years ago, and she loved it. She hung it in her kitchen window, where the colors picked up sunlight, adding some color to the kitchen. Every time I see one, I think of my mother. It’s fun, and it’s pretty. Purchase here.
  • Tumi Persia Crossbody Bag. A few years ago, when I was getting ready for a vacation, I purchased a small Tumi crossbody to use as my handbag. I had heard friends say how much they loved them, so I tried one for myself. You know what? I never looked back! Sure, I have brought out my better handbags on occasion, but even then, I put the crossbody inside them to act as a wallet. Most of the time, though, I use the crossbody. It makes me hands free! Tumi offers several colors in the Persia Crossbody. Mom will love it. Purchase here.
  • Anne Taintor Products. I love Anne Taintor. I love the napkins. I love the sticky notes. I love the notebooks. I love the books. I love the mugs. If you’re not familiar with Anne Taintor, you need to be. One example is the photo below of some stick notes that say, “Dress for the job you want.” She’s a princess. That’s the job she wants. See all the products at Amazon here.

I know I have given y’all lots of ideas for Mother’s Day this year. Mom is a pretty important person, so treat her to a little something specail this year. To see my other suggestions, you can click on links here and here.

by Kelly Mattei

Finishing Freshman Year of College

Finishing freshman year of college.

My daughter attended an independent school in Charlotte from Transitional Kindergarten through 12th grade, and the former head of the school often had wise words to share. One of his favorite phrases? “Finish well.” As the end of each school year approached, I would remind our daughter, “Finish well!” Did she always hear me? She always finished pretty well, so maybe.

Now, the end of her freshman year of college is rapidly approaching. Like a train out of control, freshman year is moving forward at lightning speed. She will be home in less than a week. Less than a week! I find myself saying, “Finish well!”

We moved her into her dorm at the beginning of August. It was an exciting time. It was a scary time. Like lots of moms out there, I was excited for her to experience college, but I was nervous about leaving her 450 miles away. However, I remembered something I had read before:

Put the basket in the water.

I got that sentence from a piece written by Ashlei Woods. You can read it here. “Put the basket in the water” is a reference to the time of Moses, when midwives were ordered by Pharaoh to kill baby boys born to Israelites by drowning them in the Nile. Moses’s mother, in an effort to save her baby, placed him in a basket and placed the basket in the river, in hopes that he would live. I’m no Biblical scholar, but even I remember the story from Sunday School lessons. Moses did live, obviously, and went on to become a great prophet. I certainly don’t expect my daughter to become a great prophet, but I want her to live and become the best person she can be. I want her to live life. And by placing her proverbial basket in that proverbial river (college), I sent her on her way.

Has she learned things in college that will help her in her future endeavors? In short, yes. She has learned something in each class she has taken. She has learned about music, public relations, writing…so much. More importantly, she has learned more about who she is. She has learned how to make friends from lots of different places. She has learned how to handle medical emergencies and automobile situations. She has learned how to make doctor appointments and pick up her own prescriptions. And even though I always tried to expose her to as many new experiences as possible, she has been exposed to even more new experiences. She has learned to manage on her own. Sure, she still gets advice (sometimes wanted, sometimes not) from me, but she is doing it! We still support her financially, but she is doing it! We put the basket in the water, and we trusted God and trusted her.

Have there been hiccups along the way? Yes, but she has learned from each one. Last week, SpaceX launched a test rocket…the most powerful one ever launched. There was excitement surrounding it, but it failed. And afterward, Elon Musk, the founder of SpaceX, seemed happy in spite of the failure, saying they (the engineers, the company) would learn a lot from the failure. He was excited about what they would learn! Those words stuck with me, because this very successful man was reminding the world that we learn from failure. Don’t get me wrong. Our daughter’s hiccups, so far, haven’t been in the classroom. But any hiccups she has experienced along the way have been opportunities for learning. Learning what doesn’t work is how she will learn what does work.

In a few days, we will move our daughter out of her freshman dorm. As she finishes her freshman year, I will remind her several times, “Finish well.” I am already reminding her to start packing things up and cleaning out her room. And after we get her home for the summer, I feel sure we will notice she is a different girl than the one we sent to college in August. She is older. She is more confident. She is more independent. She is more knowledgable. As my own parents said when I came home after my freshman year, “We sent our daughter off to college and got a different person back.” They often joked that I was “switched at college.”

We are excited to have our girl home soon.

by Kelly Mattei

Great Mother’s Day Gifts for 2023

Great Mother’s Day gifts for 2023.

You have almost a month to find the perfect gift for Mom. Mother’s Day this year is May 14.

When our daughter was a little girl, she gave me the best Mother’s Day gifts. One I still have a was a bracelet she made for me in third grade. It’s made of safety pins and beads, and it’s awesome. I came across it in my jewelry box last night and thought to myself, “I need to wear this on Mother’s Day this year.” Very few gifts mean as much as the gifts our children make for us when they’re young, but there are some thoughtful gifts mom will love, and they don’t all break the bank. Here are a few suggestions for you to purchase early, so you don’t find yourself scrambling at the last minute. And remember, Amazon ships free if you have a Prime membership!

Beach kaftan. My family knows I love a good beach kaftan…especially with summer just around the corner! I take good care of the ones I have, but I love adding to my collection. I have found one on Amazon that is inexpensive, colorful, and pretty. What do I love about a kaftan? I can wear it over swim, and instead of looking all sweaty and tired, a good kaftan makes me look a little more put together…even when I have been in the sun or in the water. I throw them on over a swimsuit to have lunch at an outdoor cafe, and I feel good about how I look. To see the latest one I have found, click here. Mom will love it!

Kate Spade scarf. Years ago, I decided adding a “third piece” to my outfit made me look more complete. It could be a scarf, a jacket, or a statement necklace, but whatever it was, that third piece made me feel more put together. Somewhere along the way, over the past couple of years, I lost touch with that idea, but 2023 is the year my “third piece” makes a comeback. Lately, when I have seen scarves I like, I’ve purchased them. Some of my favorites are made by Kate Spade, because they are well-made, not terribly expensive, and many of them add a punch of color or to an ensemble. Amazon offers several at good prices. To see them, click here.

Samiah Luxe Chunky Knit Blanket. I have admired chunky knit blankets for a long time, but I have never purchased one for myself. I considered making one for myself; it would be easy to make. However, to get good quality, thick, cable yarn, I would have to spend a fortune before I even got started on the actual knitting. Therefore, it’s much more cost effective to just purchase one made by Samiah Luxe, and they make beautiful, quality blankets! You can see what they offer on Amazon here.

Kendra Scott Jewelry. It’s no secret that Kendra Scott jewelry is popular with women of all ages. Even teenagers love it. They offer a lot more selection than you think! Personally, I love their trademark shaped jewelry, but they have a lot of other things, including ring sets, beaded bracelets, and necklaces and earrings of different shapes…in a wide range of prices. To see Kendra Scott’s offerings on Amazon, click here.

Blissy Silk Pillowcase. My mother told me when I was a little girl that silk pillowcases will save my skin and hair. She was right. And Blissy makes a great product from Mulberry silk! Moms will love this. I need to make sure my own family knows about Blissy. They come in six colors and three sizes. She’ll thank you and mean it. Purchase at Amazon here.

Pure Enrichment Deluxe Feet Warmer. It’s a relaxing evening at home, but Mom says her feet are cold. Or maybe mom just needs a little extra relaxation. I have a foot warmer at home, and it’s great for nights I need to wind down before going to bed. Check out the Pure Enrichment Deluxe Feet Warmer here. Priced at about $50, it’s a bargain.

Christian Dior Addict Lip Glow Lip Balm. Y’all, I got a couple of these for myself after hearing everyone talk about it, and I love it. I then ended up giving them to my daughter when I visited her at college and she needed a lip balm. I promptly ordered some more for myself. All of them except the “clear” have a hint of color, but just a hint. And they are smooth, not cakey. Mom will love it. Plus, it’s Dior! We love Dior! Priced under $50, it’s a great gift. Purchase from Amazon here.

Shower Steamers Aromatherapy. I know I mention these all the time, but there is a reason: they’re awesome! If someone gave me some Shower Steamers Aromatherapy essential oil shower bombs, I’d be a happy mom! Nothing can make a shower feel like a spa more than some essential oil shower bombs. I found some from Jojowell that are priced under $25 for 21 shower bombs! These are made to hang in your shower, releasing whichever aroma you pick of the seven offered. If no one in my family gives me some for Mother’s Day, I’ll be ordering them myself. Get them at Amazon here.

Monpure Silky Strengthening Shampoo. After I told a friend I needed something to help repair my damaged hair, she recommended I try Monpure. At $49, it’s not cheap, but it sure helped my hair. It received the Good Housekeeping “Tried and Tested Award” in 2021 for the Best anti-breakage shampoo. I love it. My hair has more shine, and the shampoo’s herbal scent is increcible. Mom will appreciate it. Purchase from Amazon here.

If your mom is like me, she considers YOU the best gift ever…just like I think of my daughter. However, it’s nice to get a little recognition on Mother’s Day. Let Mom know she’s special. Maybe some of the ideas above will help you find something for her. Remember, it’s best to purchase early! Order now from Amazon and have the gift in hand with time to spare!

Happy Shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

Weekly Link Recap, Ending 4/8/23

Weekly link recap, ending 4/8/23. Click on the item name to go straight to the corresponding site page of items I posted this week. To read the piece about the items, click on the TITLE of the piece. Thank you!

*Each week, I will post a recap of any links I have shared in any posts during the week prior. Happy Shopping!*

WHAT TO PURCHASE NOW FOR A DORM ROOM

HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION GIFTS 2023

WHOA DOUGH EDIBLE COOKIE DOUGH

BASIC TRAVEL OUTFITS FOR WOMEN

by Kelly Mattei

Whoa Dough Edible Cookie Dough

Whoa Dough Edible Cookie Dough.

Our daughter is finishing up her freshman year in college. Throughout the year, I have been on the lookout for grab-n-go snacks for her that have some nutritional value and taste good. It’s not easy to find things I think she will like, because she has always been a picky-ish eater. I’m not really sure where she got that gene, because I will eat almost anything…except organ meat. That’s where I draw the line. Fortunately, our daughter seems to be coming out of her “picky” ways, but I still like to get grab-n-go snacks for her that are “sure things.”

While our daughter has been in college, my husband and I have taken several trips. His favorite destination is the Bahamas, because it’s easy to get there, and we have some favorite resorts and know some absolutely beautiful beaches there. We always fly American Airlines, because they have a hub in Charlotte, making them the easiest airline for us to fly.

On our most recent trip home from the Bahamas, American Airlines offered us a snack we had not seen before. Called Whoa Dough Edible Cookie Dough, it had colorful packaging, and the concept of packaged “edible” cookie dough looked interesting to me. For those who don’t know, kids love to eat cookie dough, but because it normally has uncooked egg, it’s an invitation to salmonella. Therefore, kids are always looking for ways to make cookie dough without egg. This product appeared to be an answer to that! I took one, thinking it might be something our daughter would like. The flavor I got was Sugar Cookie, and at my suggestion, my husband picked the Chocolate Chip Cookie flavor.

The packaging looks like the packaging for breakfast bars or cereal bars. I opened the blue package. I broke off one corner and tried it, and like Mikey from the Life Cereal commercials of the 70s, I liked it! I asked my husband to try his, and he liked it too! After reading the label, I realized there was actually some nutritional value in Whoa Dough, and it’s vegan, plant-based, soy free, egg free, gluten free, non-gmo, Kosher, and dairy free! At under 200 calories, each bar contains 3 grams of fiber, 5 grams of fat, and 4 grams of protein. With 30 grams of carbs, it’s not perfect nutrition, but I knew it was likely better than what my daughter was (or wasn’t) having for breakfast.

When we got home from that trip, I ordered a variety pack to have delivered to our home, and when our daughter came home for the last few days of Spring Break, she tried them and loved them! She and a friend ate some from the variety pack and took the rest back to school. Soon thereafter, I received a text, asking, “Can you please have some Whoa Dough shipped to me at school? Chocolate Chip and Sugar Cookie, please!” And so I promptly went to Amazon and ordered some to be delivered to her. If you would like to try Whoa Dough or think your children might like it (they likely will), you can order the variety pack or one flavor from Amazon here.

If you order, let me know what you think!

As for our daughter, I knew she really liked Whoa Dough when she sent me a snapchat photo of herself on her way to an early morning workout, and I saw a Sugar Cookie Whoa Dough in her hand. Sometimes, I find things she loves, and I was happy to be successful with this one!

by Kelly Mattei

Easter Basket Stuffers

Easter basket stuffers.

It’s not too late! If you’re just now trying to figure out Easter Basket stuffers, you’re in good company: me. I just finally ordered Easter stuff today. Yes, I still put together an Easter basket for our 19-yr-old daughter and one of her friends every year. For years, our daughter’s friend has spent the night at our house the night before Easter, and every year, the bunny brings them baskets. Even though they are college freshmen this year, they will still get baskets. In fact, as long as I am able to do it, they will get baskets from our Easter Bunny.

Try to shop local whenever possible! I have purchased some items from local boutiques in Charlotte like Paper Skyscraper, The Buttercup, and more. The Buttercup has some great Easter items for younger children. They are located at 1035 Providence Road in Charlotte, and Paper Skyscraper is on East Boulevard.

Target also has some good Easter basket offerings, but they’re getting pretty picked over by now I haven’t had the opportunity to go there, so I sat down and started ordering online.

Today, I ordered a couple of baskets in the girls’ sorority colors. They are in the same sorority at different schools, so those baskets will match! I ordered them from Amazon, and they are actually baskets for “gamers,” but I thought they could actually use the baskets in their rooms, because they don’t really look like Easter baskets. See the Easter baskets offered by Amazon here. You can see and purchase the one I purchased here.

And then I went straight to Easter basket stuffers. I purchased Easter candy at my local Walgreens, but I wanted to get the girls some things they could actually use. Even though a garden gnome seems like a strange Easter Basket stuffer, I got them each one, simply because I got them gnomes a couple of years ago. Purchase the one I purchased here. And see Amazon’s other gnome selections here.

Since they are both first-year Kappa Kappa Gammas, I thought it would be fun to incorporate that into their basket items too.
They love sweatshirts, and I found some cute sorority Comfort Colors sweatshirts. I needed them to arrive in time for Easter, so the pickings were slim, but I found these. To find similar ones for your daughter’s sorority on Amazon, click here. Just be careful to be sure whatever you order will arrive in time for Easter if you want to include it in the basket.

Additionally, I got them some Jojowell Shower Steamers that come 21 to a package in seven different scents. Each package is less that $25, and these steamers can make a shower feel like a spa! They come complete with two mesh bags and two suction cups for hanging the steamers in the shower. To purchase them, click here.

What else are they getting? How about some matching pajamas in their sorority colors? Yes! They get very excited about PJs every year, so they will be expecting some kind of pajamas, but the sorority colors will be a surprise! See the ones I purchased here. To see other cute PJ options on Amazon, click here. Or purchase some at your favorite boutique or retailer.

Because they loved Nickelodeon, specifically the show, iCarly, I got them both some XL iCarly t-shirts. They’ll laugh, and honestly, they’re likely to use them as pajamas sometimes. Last year, I gave them some iCarly Kooky pens, so this will carry on that theme. You can see the Amazon’s selection of iCarly t-shirts here. There are t-shirts for various Nickelodeon shows on Amazon here.

I also got them some acrylic glasses they can use in their dorms or in next year’s apartments or sorority houses. They can never have too many plastic or acrylic cups that they don’t have to worry about breaking. See the large selection on Amazon here.

And don’t forget the plastic Easter eggs! Sure, you can get the standard plastic Easter eggs, or you can get some that are especially cute from Amazon! I found some that I will fill with chocolates and other candies, because what’s an Easter basket without colorful Easter eggs?!? See the cute ones I purchased here. Or if you’d like something different than what I bought, you can see a huge selection here.

I know some of you might have younger children, so your Easter basket stuffers will likely be different than what I’m getting. If you have younger children, there is a whole section on Amazon that’s just for basket stuffers of all shapes and sizes. You can see them here.

But order right away! You don’t want to be left with an empty basket on Easter morning!

by Kelly Mattei

What to Purchase Now for a Dorm Room

What to purchase now for a dorm room.

My daughter will finish her freshman year of college in less than a month. It’s hard for me to believe she is 1/4 of the way through college. I remember my own college days so well; I’m so happy she is getting to go to the same awesome university and have her own experiences. We feel pretty seasoned now that she has survived freshman year in a dorm, and soon we will be moving out all the stuff we took for her when we moved her in. So while I’m thinking about it, and since you have time to prepare now, I’m going to make some suggestions on necessities. Seriously, I know graduation festivities (ugh) are upon you, but start purchasing and ordering now, and you’ll have less to do as your college freshman’s departure approaches. These are just a few items I recommend purchasing early, before everyone else jumps in, and they’re sold out.

Mattress Topper. I never met a dorm mattress I liked. Goodness. One would think they could find a way to improve those things. I was a freshman in 1985, and I daresay my daughter’s freshman dorm mattress is no more comfortable than the one I had way back when. We knew that would be the case, so we invested in a quality mattress topper. There are lots of them out there, but we opted for the Sleepyhead brand. Our daughter’s dorm room has a twin XL bed, so we ordered the Twin XL 3″ Topper from Sleepyhead. She loves it. Priced at over $300, it’s not cheap, but they do offer a 20% discount for students. I don’t think I was aware of the discount at the time I purchased, but I will tell you, it’s probably the best $300+ I’ve ever spent. Our daughter loves sleeping in her bed, calling it “cozy and comfy.” In fact, because she will have the same type of bed her sophomore year, she will get another year out of it. Check out Sleepyhead on Amazon here.

Stand-up Steamer. I think people thought I was crazy when I told them I was getting our daughter a stand-up steamer to take to college with her, but it is one thing that definitely got used…and it’s so much easier than ironing! Our daughter participated in sorority recruitment as soon as she arrived at school, so I knew she would need to steam out her dresses before she wore them. We couldn’t have her showing up all wrinkled! She tells me she has used it countless times throughout the year for steaming formal dresses, cocktail dresses, and anything else that was overly wrinkled. We opted for the a Rowenta model. You can see it and purchase it on Amazon here.

Bankers Box Smooth Move Wardrobe Boxes. These stand-up boxes are more for the move-in, but they were big helps with our daughter’s hanging garments. They have a bar across the top on which to hang the clothes, and they hold a lot of clothes. We only used one, and our daughter took a lot of clothes with her. When we arrived in the dorm, we simply lifted the hangers off the bar and moved them straight to the closet bar…super easy. For about $32, we got three bankers boxes. We gave one to a friend who was going off to college too, and saved the third one…might use it for move-out. You can purchase here.

Swiffer Sweeper 2-in-1 Mop. I don’t know how often this item has been used, but you will want to run it through the room before you set everything up. I hope our daughter and her roommate have used theirs, but if they haven’t, I’ll have a new-ish Swiffer when I bring her home! Just get it. It will make you feel better knowing your child can mop the floor if he/she chooses or needs to! Get it from Amazon here.

Velvet Hangers. I know how easy it is for a college student on the go to grab a shirt and just snatch it off the hanger on the way to class. Hangers go flying, and other items fall to the bottom of the closet. That doesn’t happen with velvet hangers. They have added a lot of organization to my own closet. I purchase Zober non-slip Velvet Hangers in Ivory. Just trust me on this one. Shirts don’t get horns in the shoulders. Dresses hang nicely and don’t fall off the hanger and into the floor. Get them at Amazon here. You’ll think you won’t need many, but start with 200.

And I’m going to repeat some move-in essentials from a piece I wrote recently:

Hulken Bag. I ordered two. My daughter has one at college, and I have one at home, but I will take mine down with me when we move her out. They simply make moving lots of items easier. We got large ones. Get them here.

Moving Bags. These are similar to the Ikea moving bags, but I ordered from Amazon, because I thought these were a little bigger and sturdier. They worked great for move-in, and I expect them to work great for move-out too! Get them here. (Keep in mind: these sell out during summer, as families stock up on them, so get yours early.)

Collapsible Wagon. We got one of these for our daughter when she was returning to college after the holidays. It was an easy way for her to get everything from the parking garage to her room. Get it here.

Versacart. This is one my aunt told me about, and it’s awesome! She calls it her “old lady cart,” but it does the job! She uses it to bring in groceries or any packages from her car. Get it here.

Stick with me, moms of future college students, and I’ll provide you with all sorts of helpful ideas over the next few months. Start shopping now! And please use my links above to purchase! *I may be compensated for some of the items I suggest, but I wouldn’t suggest them if I didn’t believe in them!

***Featured photo from sleepyheadusa.com

by Kelly Mattei

Parents of Future College Students

Parents of future college students.

Let me start by telling you I am not a professional anything. I’m not a psychologist or an educational counselor or anything like that. However, I am a mom of a college freshman. If you have a high school senior who is planning to attend college next year, I have some tips for you. Take them or leave them. Everybody does their own thing, but these are based on experience and observations.

-Join the Facebook parents’ page of your son or daughter’s future college or university as soon as you know where he/she is going.

-If you choose to post on said page, be careful what you post. Always remember your name can be linked back to your child, and you don’t want them to start college having to live down “where can little Johnny meet a girlfriend?”

-In fact, also on said page, resist the urge to post snarky replies to stupid questions. The stupid questions will be plentiful, but just resist the urge. Call your friends and laugh about it instead.

-Let your future college student handle the logistics of registering for everything. You don’t need to do it for him/her. Let them register for orientation, if necessary. It’s OK to remind them. It’s even OK to scan the parent page for info or recommendations, but let your student do it! Same with picking classes…make recommendations, but don’t make their schedule for them. Let them learn how to do it! When I went to college, my parents wrote the checks. That’s it. I tried to do my daughter the same favor…the favor of letting her figure it out. And yes, I keep sending the money.

-Little Jane doesn’t need your help finding a roommate. She can do it.

-Since I mentioned roommates, I have to say this: if your child is going away to college and has the option of living off campus freshman year, resist that urge. Freshmen need to live on campus. It’s how they make friends…almost immediately. I don’t care if Little Janie has never had to share a room or bathroom before. My daughter is an only child and has always had her own room and bathroom, but she lives in a traditional dorm and shares a bathroom with her roommate. She absolutely loves dorm life, because she has made lots of friends. I saw a post on the parent page just yesterday that said, “My freshman daughter who lives off campus has had trouble making friends.” They need to feel like a part of the college community. They also need to learn to share space with other people. Off-campus living is a big mistake freshman year.

-Plan ahead to decorate dorm rooms for girls, but don’t overdo it. It’s claustrophobic when you put too much stuff in a dorm room. And remember: whatever you take in there, you will eventually have to bring out.

-Once they get there, they might have bouts of homesickness or sadness. It’s normal. Don’t go pick them up and bring them home. Be positive. I remember my daughter calling me soon after class started. She was sad. I was on vacation, but I sat down and said very positive things to her…in a calm, soothing tone. Three hours and a new friend later, she called to tell me how happy she was!

-Know you will say the wrong things to them sometimes. If it’s your first child going to college, you are on a learning curve too.

This is all I have for right now. I’m empty-nesting on a beach today, but I’m sure I will think of more in the months leading up to move-in day. I get lots of fodder from the parents’ page on Facebook!

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by Kelly Mattei

Mama Is Your Ally

Mama is your ally.

For me, this was the single most important message I have wanted to send to my daughter throughout her life: I am your ally. Does it mean I don’t get mad? No. Does it mean I won’t disappoint you? No. There are times I get mad at my daughter. There are times I disappoint her with my reaction to things. However, because we have always had open communication, she knows, deep down, that even though I might get upset about something she does or something she tells me, I will calm down and help her find a solution. She is 19 now…only about eight more months in her teens…and somehow, I feel like I have been successful in the area of communication with her.

When she was growing up, as far back as I can possibly remember, I answered questions honestly. When she was a little girl, if she asked a question, I didn’t sugarcoat it or present some fairytale (like a stork dropping a baby on the front porch); I answered honestly and in an age-appropriate way. Did I always answer perfectly? No. I am the first to say I am an imperfect mother, but that’s part of it. Motherhood is a position in which we learn on the job, so we are going to make mistakes, but we learn as we go.

I follow an Instagram account called Raising Teens Today. It’s not run by a psychologist. It’s run by a mom who also happens to be a public relations professional, and that’s one reason I love it. Her posts are real life posts, not some psycho-babble. Today, she reposted something that said “I hope my daughter grows up thinking ‘I have to tell Mom; she will know what to do’ instead of ‘I’m scared to tell Mom, because she won’t understand.'” Yes. Yes. Yes. Just like that post, I have always wanted my daughter to know she can come to me with anything. Not only that, but she should come to me…and come to me first! ***Raising Teens Today also has a website. You can see it here.***

Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure there are things I don’t know about my daughter. I’m not supposed to know everything, just like she isn’t supposed to know everything about me, but if she has a problem, I want to be the first ally she seeks out. Why? Well, I actually have her best interest at heart. Other teenage girls aren’t always looking out for their friends’ best interests. Another reason? I’m going to offer up 55-yr-old wisdom instead of the wisdom of another 19-yr-old. Come on. Do 19-yr-olds really have answers to real life problems? They don’t have enough life experience, and frankly, the frontal lobes of their brains are not fully developed. I have told her the last person to consult for a real problem is another teenager. Yet another reason? Unlike teenage friends, I’m not going to share her private business.

The main reason I want her to come to me, though, is that I want to help her grow into a happy, healthy, productive member of society who knows she is loved…just like she knew she was loved when she was a little girl. We all remember when our college-aged kids were younger. They came to us with everything. Skinned knee? Mama can fix it. Broken bone? Mama will get me to the doctor. Hungry? Mama will feed me. Tired? I can fall asleep in Mama’s lap. Difficulty in school? Mama will help or find me a tutor. Friend problems? I can talk to Mama. Where to go to college? Mama will talk it out with me.

Yes, my daughter’s problems become more serious as she gets older, but it’s every bit as important…maybe more so…that she knows Mama is there for her. As long as I’m alive, I will be her ally. Even after I’m gone, she’ll likely hear my voice in her ear, just like I hear my mother’s regularly. My mother has been gone for five years, but many times, when I have been trying to find an answer to a problem, I remember things she told me.

Mama wisdom is the gift that keeps on giving.