Category / rush bag

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush Conversations

Sorority rush conversations.

***I am not a sorority recruitment consultant.

Participating in sorority recruitment soon? You’ve probably wondered what people talk about when they go to rush parties. You aren’t being officially “interviewed.” It’s more of a conversation. There are lots of topics, but the main thing is you want to come across as likable, enthusiastic, and interested. How to do that? Here are some ideas:

  • Listen to your rush counselor. Above all else, listen to your rush counselor. They are well-trained.
  • Have some questions in mind. Here’s the deal: in most cases, the sorority member will get the conversation rolling. She isn’t going to be “interviewing” you. She is going to talk to you like one college girl talking to another. However, it is important that you are an active participant. Be prepared to answer questions about yourself. What’s your major? How did you pick this school? What do you like to do on weekends? To see more likely questions, click here. Those are all standard questions a sorority member could ask just to get the ball rolling. Usually, you can find a common topic through those questions. If it doesn’t happen, you need to have some questions of your own to ask…open-ended questions to get a conversation rolling. See a list of some here. Just have a few questions in mind, in case they ask you if you have questions, and in case there is a lull in conversation.
  • Answer enthusiastically. When a member asks you questions, do not answer with a simple “yes” or “no.” For example, if she asks if you’re enjoying recruitment, you might respond, “Yes! I’m having the best time! I love the girls in my rush group, and I feel like I’m meeting awesome new friends everywhere I turn!” If she asks what your major is, talk about it. “Right now, I’m majoring in biology. I’ve always loved science. I hear the biology classes are really hard here, but I’m excited to get started! What’s YOUR major?” Never, ever look bored at a party…always excited to be there. Sometimes, the girls in a chapter will gauge your interest based on the look on your face and body language, so even when you’re tired, muster up some enthusiasm!
  • Check their social media. Between parties, it’s OK to check the social media account of the next chapter you’re visiting. You might get some conversation topics. Maybe you see photos of the members’ summer activities. You can say, “Wow! I saw so many fun places y’all visited on your Instagram!” That could lead a member to talk about what she did over the summer. Or you could say, “I love the chapter Instagram account! The photos from your philanthropy event in the spring were awesome!” But make sure you know what you’re talking about and don’t mix up chapters.
  • Ask the member about herself. People love it when someone asks about them. Therefore, ask about the girl’s major, her interests, her hometown, her rush experience, her hobbies, etc.
  • Be engaged. Listen closely to what she says/asks. Don’t look around the room when you’re talking with a sorority member. Pay attention to what she is saying. Make eye contact. Smile.
  • Don’t talk about sensitive subjects. Do not discuss boys (boyfriends, swaps, etc), religion, politics, alcohol, or money (how much you have or don’t have, how much are dues, etc). Some people call it the Bs: boys, Bible, Biden, booze, bucks.
  • Be friendly and polite. Whether you are truly interested in the chapter or not, be friendly and polite. Remember, most sorority girls have friends in other chapters, and if you’re rude, they will tell their friends in other chapters. Word gets around. Also, always thank the girls. If you are talking with a girl and she hands you off to another one (you’ll usually talk to more than one girl during a party), thank each girl at the end of each conversation. It’s OK to say, “I enjoyed talking with you! Thank you!” Also, make sure to thank the girl who walks you out. Thanking someone is always a good idea.
  • Do NOT discuss other chapters with sorority members or with other PNMs. No one needs to know who dropped you. No one needs to know your favorites. No one needs to know which chapters you do or don’t want to join. Do not speak ill of any chapters or sorority members. Keep your preferences to yourself.

If Panhellenic at the school you’re attending publishes a recruitment guide, read it thoroughly. You are more likely to have a fun experience during recruitment if you are well-informed.

Most of all, enjoy the experience!

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush: Last Minute Items

Sorority Rush: Last Minute Items.

If you’re planning to participate in sorority recruitment in the fall at a southern school, you likely registered already. Mark that off your checklist. You likely have your recommendations done. You probably have picked out your wardrobe and are just finishing up assembling your rush bag. What else is there to do?

Well, you have to wait, of course, but while you wait, there are some things you can do:

  • Shore up your wardrobe. Yes, you have a few dresses for rush, but depending on the school you are attending, you might need/want more than one dress per round. At The University of Alabama, for example, Philanthropy Round takes place over three days. You won’t know your schedule until everything gets started, so right now, you don’t know if you’ll have parties on one day, two days, or all three days. It’s best to be prepared for all three days. Sure, you can wear the same shorts/skirt to all three days of Philanthropy Round, but what if you sweat a lot in it? Will you want to wear it again? What if you spill something on it? Same for Sisterhood Round: if it takes place over two days, can you wear the same dress both days? Yes. Do you really want to? There’s still time to purchase another dress or two if you think you need it. Just remember, it’s hot in the south in August! Amazon has some cute dresses at these links:
    • Smocked Mini Dress. Y’all this inexpensive dress comes in several colors. I love all of them! They’re great for those really hot game days too! Priced under $30, these are adorable! See them here.
    • Love Shack Fancy. I know lots of girls love their Love Shack Fancy dresses. Get their cute Russ dress here. It’s pricy, but it’s cute!
    • One shoulder dress. Pretty Garden has an adorable one-shoulder tiered dress in several colors for under $50. Check it out here.
    • Another one-shoulder dress that resembles Love Shack Fancy, in my opinion. It also comes in lots of colors and is less than $50. See it here.
    • Amanda Uprichard dresses. Amanda Uprichard makes lots of great dresses for rush. See a selection here.
    • Belle Maison Collective. This boutique is out of Huntsville, Alabama, and they have some great options for rush…dresses, shoes, skirts, and shorts. Take a peek here.
    • Revolve. Check revolve.com for some great dress deals, since they have put a lot of seasonal items on sale! Click here.
    • Shopbop. Another great resource is shopbop.com. Click here.
    • Zara. At our house, we love Zara. Click here to see what they have.
  • Pick shoes. When picking which shoes you want to wear with which outfit during rush, remember you don’t need to be uncomfortable. If your feet are hurting throughout the process, you won’t feel your best, and likely won’t project your best self. This is not the time to try a new pair of stilettos. Also, don’t forget to have some comfy slippers/Crocs/flip flops in your Rush Bag, so you can wear them between parties.
  • Accessorize. It’s important to accessorize but not over-accessorize. Understated elegance is best…pearl earrings, small gold hoops, etc.
  • Rush Bag. Don’t forget to put together a Rush bag to help you freshen up between parties in weather so hot it feels like the surface of the sun! To see what you need for the bag, click here.

It’s almost time! So exciting! When my daughter went through the recruitment process last year, she made some great memories!

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush Deals on Amazon Prime Days

Sorority rush deals on Amazon Prime Days.

Amazon Prime Days are here, so it’s a great time to scoop up some of the deals on things you can use for sorority recruitment!

  • Rush Bag. You know that rush bag you need to hold the essentials for hot days in recruitment in the south? There are some great deals on bags that would be great. One great nylon deal is here. Or maybe you prefer neoprene? Click here.
  • Dresses. If you still need to add some dresses to your recruitment lineup, there are some great Amanda Uprichard dresses offered on Prime Days here. See some BB Dakota Prime deals here. Or for great variety, check out Shopbop’s Amazon Prime offerings. We love Shopbop, and I especially love that I can shop them through Amazon. They also have great shoes for rush! click here. Also, don’t forget you’ll likely need a swimsuit right after recruitment for your pledge retreat!
  • Comfy shoes. Last year, when my daughter participated in recruitment at Alabama, she had some comfy shoes to slip on her feet between parties. For a great deal through Prime Days on some, click here. My daughter wore her Ugg slippers. Fluffettes are on sale for Prime Day for $80 (reg $110) here. Or maybe some Crocs? They have tons of Crocs with Prime Day deals here.
  • Rush bag essentials. Band-Aids for those blistered heels? Click here. There are some great Prime deals on Neosporin to treat those blisters here. Prime Day deals on Motrin and Tylenol for that Rush Bag here. Prime Day deals on travel size hand sanitizer here. Get your handheld fan at a deep discount here. And a great deal on a travel/folding umbrella to fit in your rush bag here. If you think you won’t need that umbrella in the south, you’re wrong. Just do it.
  • Small charger for your bag. Get a Prime deal on one here.
  • Velvet hangers. Hang your lovely rush dresses on velvet hangers to keep them from slipping off the hanger, and also to conserve room in your tiny dorm closet. There’s a Prime deal here.

I’ll keep posting more deals as I find them! Get busy shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

Moms and Sorority Rush

Moms and sorority rush.

*The photo above is a file photo from Wikimedia Commons in 2008. It should not be used as an example of “what to wear” during recruitment 2023.*

Yes, it’s a thing. Moms get involved in sorority rush at big southern schools. Does that mean they’re actively going from house to house with their daughters? No. Oh Lord, I hope not…for their own sake but especially for their daughters’ sakes. But yes, Moms help their daughters prepare for rush. They worry about them. They get nervous. They feel all pain and all excitement. Some of them might have been in sororities themselves, and they want their daughters to pledge their chapter. Perhaps a mom has expectations about some chapters offering her daughter a bid. Maybe another mom thinks her daughter couldn’t possibly be dropped by a house. Maybe another one is worried hers will be dropped by every house.

The truth of the matter is that every mom is different, and every girl’s rush experience is different, so different moms and daughters will have different approaches. However, there are some things that are pretty universal…or should be:

  • Help prepare. For information on recruitment preparation, click here. Mom should be calling all her friends asking if any of them are sorority members, and if so, would they write a recommendation for her daughter? She should help her daughter shop for dresses and for the all-important “rush bag.” (See info about the Rush Bag here.) Most moms I know also proofread/edit their daughters’ resumes…or ask someone else to do it. And she should remind her daughter that it is important to keep an open mind about the chapters while she participates in recruitment.
  • Be supportive and positive. This is a stressful time for the girls, so they need the support from Mom. They need reassurance. They need you to be their cheerleaders this week. They need their moms to tell them how much they believe in them.
  • Be realistic. You have likely seen a list of the sorority chapters’ required or recommended GPAs for potential new members. Take those seriously. Those recommendations are there for a reason. No chapter wants to take a grade risk, because the “grade risk” is more likely not to stay in school, based on her academic history. Sororities like to maintain their membership, so if someone fails out of school, it hurts the chapter.
  • Be sympathetic. If/when daughter calls Mom and says, “My favorite house dropped me,” Mom needs to be sympathetic but not enabling. Do not enable your daughter to drop out of the process. If she will stick it out, chances are she will end up where she belongs. Encourage her to continue with the process! If she still has houses inviting her back, then she can still land somewhere she will be happy.
  • Be smart. Remember, some of recruitment is a numbers game. There are different reasons people get dropped, and it’s not always personal. It might be that a chapter is focusing on a different geographic area. It might be that a chapter has a lot of in-house sisters. It might be a GPA issue. Or maybe they are simply looking for something else. Mom, as difficult as it is, remind your daughter not to take it personally.

What are the no-nos for Mom? Well, different people have different thoughts, but I think it’s important for Mom to let her daughter fly. Don’t hover. Get her moved into the dorm, and then, let her start rush without Mom looking over her shoulder. If Mom doesn’t hover, the daughter can make new friends more quickly. And mom shouldn’t put undue pressure on her daughter to pledge where she wants her to pledge.

Mom, you’re likely to feel like you’re going through recruitment with your daughter, and in some ways, you are, but when it comes right down to it…it’s your daughter’s experience. Let her make it her own.

by Kelly Mattei

Your Sorority Recruitment “Rush Bag”

Your sorority recruitment “rush bag.”

I know it’s only May, and most high school graduations haven’t even happened yet. Congratulations to all the 2023 graduates! You’ve finished that big part of life, and now you’re starting something new! Maybe you’re entering the working world. Maybe you’re going to trade/vocational school. Maybe you’re traveling for a while. Maybe you’re going to college. Whatever you’re doing, best of luck to you! If you’re planning to participate in sorority recruitment at a big, southern school, it’s time to start thinking about your “Rush bag.”

What’s a “Rush bag,” you ask? Well, it’s a water-resistant handbag that holds all the necessities for keeping one’s self fresh during a long August day outdoors in any southern state. What kind of bag should you use? What things should go in it? Fear not, for I have answers.

For the bag itself, I recommend waterproof or, at least, water resistant.

  • Rush bag. If you know a young lady who is graduating from high school and planning to participate in sorority recruitment at a big, southern university, a “rush bag” makes a great gift. She will definitely need one! You’ll want to start with a water-resistant bag with a zipper closure. These bags will be left outside sorority houses on the ground when they go inside, so they don’t need to be fancy bags. I found a perfect one that comes in multiple colors on Amazon for about $25 here. (See photo at bottom of page.) If you opt for that one, I think the medium size is great. If you want to go with a Longchamp-style nylon bag from Amazon…shop here. If you want to add the necessities for recruitment, you can add all of these or some of these items:
    • Handheld, battery-operated fan. It’s hot in the south. The heat and humidity are no joke. She will need a fan. Our daughter used this one last year. And at $11.99, it’s priced right and comes in a variety of colors.
    • Waterproof folding changing pad. Sounds crazy, I know, but the girls will be wearing dresses and will need to sit on the ground some during the day. They can save their dresses from grass stains or water spots with this. We got our daughter this one.
    • Blotting papers. All that heat and humidity produces sweat…blot away the shine with blotting papers. Get some from NYX at Amazon for just $4.99 here.
    • Insulated Water Bottle. They’ll need cold water each day. Pick a water bottle from Amazon here.
    • Hand sanitizer. This is pretty obvious. We purchased our daughter some Purell travel-sized hand sanitizers to use between parties. Get them from Amazon here.
    • Small umbrella. A small folding umbrella is crucial in the south, where thunderstorms can crop up at any time. When I asked my daughter which item she used most from her rush bag, her immediate answer was “the umbrella.” We got a great one at Amazon here.
    • Tissues. These come in handy. You never know when you’ll need a tissue. Get Amazon’s Choice here.
    • Deodorant. This is a more personal item, so you can include it or not. I think it’s nice to include one just as a possibility. Get some small, travel sizes at Amazon here.
    • Breath Strips. The girls spend a lot of time going to lots of parties, and they are in crowds. They want fresh breath. Sure, they can use mints, but I think breath strips are better, because they dissolve quickly. Get them from Amazon for $5.09 here.
    • Portable charger. The girls don’t want their phones to die in the middle of the day, so a portable charger comes in handy. For a small, inexpensive one, click here.
    • Lip gloss or balm. Most people have their own cosmetics they love, but Dior Addict lip products are loved by lots of people! If you don’t want to choose a color, their lip balms, maximizers, and oils come in clear versions too. See them here.
    • Band Aids. I would add some regular Band Aids from here. And some blister Band Aids from here.
    • Snack. Gatorade Recovery Protein Bars are great snacks for those hot days…something to put some pep in their step. It’s a great small snack, because it provides a little protein.My daughter loves these on the go. Get some here.
    • Safety pins. For little emergencies, these come in handy. Get a small packet here.
    • Feminine products. You definitely want to have feminine hygiene products on hand, in case you need them.
    • Painkillers such as Ibuprofen or Acetaminophen. Also, a dose of any regular medications you take.
    • You can include a notebook and pen, but I feel like most girls take notes on their phones.

In reality, you hope you won’t need to use the items in your rush bag, but you want to be prepared. You don’t want to have to walk around asking people if they have safety pins or Band Aids if you need one, and you definitely don’t want to use someone else’s makeup or deodorant.

***I’m hoping to compile a list of questions and answers about southern sorority rush. Please send any questions to me!***

by Kelly Mattei

More High School Graduation Gifts (and these are good!)

More high school graduations gifts. I’m always looking for ideas for graduation gifts, and this week, I came upon some great ones. I know my daughter would have loved any or all of these gifts last year when she graduated:

  • Yeti products. Y’all, we all know Yeti makes some tough, incredible products. I love their cups, their coolers, and their lock boxes. My personal favorite cooler is the Tundra 45…perfect size for the necessary number of cans and ice for a tailgate. But they also make great backpacks and duffle bags! Check out Yeti products on Amazon here. Lots of their items are Prime eligible, meaning free shipping for members of Amazon Prime! There’s a huge range of prices, starting at about $25 for some of their insulated cups to over $1000 for some of their larger coolers. I have given coolers as graduation gifts for boys before (not the $1000 ones!), and I have given cups and lock boxes too. If you have a special nephew, he’ll probably appreciate the Tundra 45 cooler.

  • Rush bag. If you know a young lady who is graduating from high school and planning to participate in sorority recruitment at a big, southern university, a “rush bag” makes a great gift. She will definitely need one! You’ll want to start with a water-resistant bag with a zipper closure. These bags will be left outside sorority houses on the ground when they go inside, so they don’t need to be fancy bags. I found a perfect one on Amazon for about $25 here. If you opt for that one, I think the medium size is great. If you want to go with a “better” bag, you can always get a Longchamp nylon bag from Amazon…shop here. If you want to add the necessities for recruitment, you can add all of these or some of these items:
    • Handheld, battery-operated fan. It’s hot in the south. The heat and humidity are no joke. She will need a fan. Our daughter used this one last year. And at $11.99, it’s priced right and comes in a variety of colors.
    • Waterproof folding changing pad. Sounds crazy, I know, but the girls will be wearing dresses and will need to sit on the ground some during the day. They can save their dresses from grass stains or water spots with this. We got our daughter this one.
    • Blotting papers. All that heat and humidity produces sweat…blot away the shine with blotting papers. Get some from NYX at Amazon for just $4.99 here.
    • Insulated Water Bottle. They’ll need cold water each day. Pick a water bottle from Amazon here.
    • Hand sanitizer. This is pretty obvious. We purchased our daughter some Purell travel-sized hand sanitizers to use between parties. Get them from Amazon here.
    • Small umbrella. A small folding umbrella is crucial in the south, where thunderstorms can crop up at any time. We got a great one at Amazon here.
    • Tissues. These come in handy. You never know when you’ll need a tissue. Get Amazon’s Choice here.
    • Deodorant. This is a more personal item, so you can include it or not. I think it’s nice to include one just as a possibility. Get some small, travel sizes at Amazon here.
    • Breath Strips. The girls spend a lot of time going to lots of parties, and they are in crowds. They want fresh breath. Sure, they can use mints, but I think breath strips are better, because they dissolve quickly. Get them from Amazon for $5.09 here.
    • Portable charger. The girls don’t want their phones to die in the middle of the day, so a portable charger comes in handy. For a small one with a lightning plug and great output, click here.
    • Lip gloss or balm. Most people have their own cosmetics they love, but Dior Addict lip products are loved by lots of people! If you don’t want to choose a color, their lip balms, maximizers, and oils come in clear versions too. See them here.
    • Band Aids. I would add some regular Band Aids from here. And some blister Band Aids from here.
    • Snack. I’ve mentioned Whoa Dough before. It’s a great small snack, because it provides a little protein but is gluten free, dairy free, egg free and soy free! My daughter loves these on the go. Get a variety pack here.
    • Safety pins. For little emergencies, these come in handy. Get a small packet here.
    • You can include a notebook and pen, but I feel like most girls take notes on their phones.

  • Keurig Mini Coffee Maker. Know a grad who loves coffee or hot chocolate? This makes a great gift. A friend gave my daughter one last year, and she used it regularly throughout her freshman year. Get it at Amazon here.

  • Zumer Sport Products. I discovered these products recently, and wow! Zumer Sport makes duffel bags, dopp kits, and backpacks from actual football leather, baseball materials, etc. And they are personalized for different colleges! I know lots of grads who would love to receive something from Zumer Sport! Great for boys and girls! See their selection here.

Those are just a few more ideas, and frankly, they are some of my favorites! Any/all of these gifts would be a big hit with any graduate! Don’t just sit there! Get that shopping done now!