Category / university

by Kelly Mattei

Send Your College Student A Surprise

Send your college student a surprise.

When I was in college in the 1980s, my mother sent me surprises on a regular basis. She went to the trouble to find some surprises, package them, and take them to the post office to mail them. It’s a lot easier to surprise our far-away kids these days. With Amazon, I can order something for our daughter and know she will have it pretty quickly. It’s one of my favorite things to do. Sometimes I send useful items, and sometimes I send silly stuff, but no matter what, she knows I’m thinking of her. And sometimes, a well-timed package can give them a little pick-me-up just when they need it! That’s what it’s all about, right?

If you’re considering sending something to your college student, here are some ideas:

  • Cravebox. Cravebox offers different kinds of snack packages. Since so many students live in dorms or fraternity/sorority houses, it’s nice for them to have non-perishable snacks readily available. They offer their standard snack bar care package for $26.99; it contains 40 popular snack items. Purchase it here. For healthier snacks from Cravebox, you can send their healthy snack package (45 count) for $36.95 here. Our daughter loves that one. Or get the variety pack for $28.95 here. There’s also a brand called Collegebox that offers a care package for $28.95. Check it out here. Your college student will be grateful, but they’ll also be able to share with friends!
  • Socks. My mother used to send me silly socks all the time, and I would always laugh when I opened them. Girls and boys like silly socks. See a huge variety at Amazon here.
  • Tshirts and sweatshirts. College students love tshirts and sweatshirts. Why dress up for class when you can be comfortable? Or maybe they just wear them when they’re lounging around? Either way, they love them. You can always give them a tshirt that’s a tribute to Animal House. They won’t get the meaning, but you will! See a “college” tshirt here. Or maybe get your daughter a “favorite daughter” sweatshirt here. You can always send them a sweatshirt representing their college/university. Amazon has a huge selection here.
  • Toiletries. Sometimes, I send our daughter toiletries from Amazon, so she doesn’t have to go out and buy them. Razors for girls here. Hair ties here or here. New charcoal toothbrushes here.
  • Spa/Makeup headbands. My daughter loves these things, and she especially loves the cute ones I sent her as a surprise! Y’all, these from I Dew Care on Amazon are awesome! There’s one that looks like a tiara, plus a white cat, a black cat, and a bear! So cute and useful! See them here.
  • Clear handbag. If your daughter attends a college or university that has spectator sports, chances are they need to have a clear handbag for the stadium. If she doesn’t have one, get an inexpensive one now for football season! Purchase a great option at Amazon here. She will thank you.
  • She’s Birdie Personal Alarm. This is a great gift for any college girl, and receiving it in a surprise package is cool. These small personal alarms attach to a keychain, so they’re easy to carry and easy to access. Keep her safe! See the She’s Birdie store on Amazon here.
  • Board Games. I know it sounds counterproductive, but it’s not. College students need an escape, and board games with friends are a great way to take a break from homework/studying. My friend, Angela, and I played Yahtzee all the time when we lived next door to each other in the sorority house. It was great relaxation for us when we needed a break. It’s also a great way to get to know other people! Invite them to play! See a variety of games on Amazon here.
  • Plastic flask. If your child is old enough to drink, maybe they take their own alcohol in a flask? I love a plastic flask I found on Amazon…plastic, because its not picked up by metal detectors. Lol. Today it’s on sale for $7.99…regularly $10.99. Get it here.

As I find more great ideas, I will post them! Happy shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

OK, Moms, It’s Sorority Rush Time

OK, moms, it’s sorority rush time!

Sorority rush (also known as recruitment) is getting underway at big schools all over the south. A couple of places have already finished, but lots are just getting started. I remember it well from last year, when our daughter participated in recruitment. Is it fun for the girls? For the most part, yes. Is it stressful for the girls? Sometimes, yes. But I discovered last year that it might be more stressful for the moms. It’s true.

First, let me say that most big, southern schools employ a method that ensures the greatest number of matches. Therefore, at most big schools in the south, the attrition rate during recruitment is relatively low, and girls dropping out on their own account for a large percentage of the attrition. For example, at one large southern school I’m familiar with, about 92% of the girls finish the process with a bid(invitation to join) from a sorority. Of the other 8%, most are people who dropped out on their own. Some had GPAs that didn’t meet the chapters’ requirements. It’s not like it was back in the 80s or even the 90s…girls aren’t just getting dropped left and right, all willy nilly, and at this particular school, no one gets dropped after Preference round, which is the last night of recruitment. If you make it to Preference, you are guaranteed a bid somewhere.

With that out of the way, let’s talk about how Mom feels during the process. Mom, you might feel stressed. You might feel numb. You might feel out-of-the-loop. You might feel helpless. And all of that is OK. You feel what you feel. It’s hard to be away from your daughter when she is going through something stressful. I was talking with a friend earlier, and we discussed what we would put in a Mom’s rush bag, if there were such a thing. Maybe you’ll want to create one from this list? You can keep it next to your favorite chair:

  • Aromatherapy Shower Steamers. Make your shower/bathroom feel like a spa with scents like lavender, rose, mint, and more! It’s relaxing. See them here.
  • Olly Sleep. If you’re having trouble sleeping, maybe some melatonin will help. I love Olly Sleep gummies. Check with your doctor before taking supplements. Purchase here.
  • Bath Pillow. A hot bath can be very relaxing, but only if you’re comfortable in your tub. A bath pillow can make a big difference. Get it from Amazon here.
  • Easy read. Throw yourself into a good book. If you want to read an easy-to-read novel about rush, there’s Rush by Lisa Patton at Amazon here.
  • Relaxing Face Mask. Forcing yourself to relax with a face mask is a great thing. I prefer ones containing lavender, but you might like others. Choose one here.
  • Favorite healthy snacks. I think every mom needs to have some healthy snacks handy, but especially when times are stressful. Drop some of your faves in your “mom rush bag.”

Last year, I had several friends whose daughters were participating in recruitment at the same time mine was. We would talk, and often, we had different stories to share. We didn’t tell each other which houses/chapters our daughters were visiting, but we did share anecdotes…like when one of our daughters almost walked out of her dorm and to a sorority houses wearing two different shoes. Another girl sat in gum between parties. We all shared some laughs, but if one mom cried, we all cried. If one mom was being particularly funny, we all laughed. Thank God we had each other to lean on.

The recruitment process is not easy. There’s so much anxiety…daily anxiety. Add in the pure exhaustion that comes from walking from house to house in summer heat. Add in the emotional exhaustion. It’s a lot. Plus, many of the girls are away from home for the first time.

But here’s one thing to remember when talking to your daughter:

Never let her see you sweat.

If your daughter calls you crying, resist the urge to jump into the pool of tears with her. It’s easy to dive right in there, but your daughter needs you to be strong for her. She needs you to be the voice of reason. Personally, at our house, if I can hold myself together, everyone else does too. So remember that if your daughter calls you crying one morning after receiving her invitations for a round, saying she got dropped by her very favorite house. Let her cry for a minute, but remind her that she needs to dry up those tears and put on a happy face for the next house. She needs to be reminded that the chapters that kept her really want her…they kept her for a reason. She needs to keep moving forward, and you might have to encourage her to do it. Tell her to take a deep breath and “pivot.” She’s going to be OK. (And you are too, Mom.) It might seem like her world is collapsing right now, but it’s not. This is just a blip on the radar. Remind her there are great girls in every chapter; it’s true.

There will be some girls who simply decide sorority life is not for them. Or maybe they just hate the process. Or maybe they have had enough. Whatever the reason, it’s OK to drop out of recruitment, but only after giving it a real effort. Don’t drop out on a whim. And if your daughter simply needs to drop out, you need to assure her that she has to make the best decision for herself.

As for maintaining your own sanity, a glass of wine could be your friend! Or some exercise. Or some sunshine. You got this, Mom.


by Kelly Mattei

Freshman Move-In vs Sophomore Move-In

Freshman move-in vs sophomore move-in.

A friend texted me today telling me her daughter hasn’t helped her gather or pack anything for move-in to her college freshman dorm next week. She seemed annoyed about it, but I chuckled to myself. I know what she is going through. I know how she feels. I went through the same thing last year.

Last year, as we were preparing for our daughter to go off to college for her freshman year, I was making lists and shopping for everything she could possibly need in her dorm room. Boxes filled our foyer. I washed and folded new sheets for her that are better than the sheets I have on my own bed. I packed all the medical supplies, cleaning supplies, and toiletries I could possibly think to pack.

I told my friend, “I think that’s normal. She is probably in denial about her upcoming departure. You’re nesting…just like you did when you were expecting a baby. Nesting/staying busy takes your mind off the fact that your child is about to move hundreds of miles away. If you’re busy you won’t think about it, and if she doesn’t pack anything, she doesn’t have to think about leaving her friends behind.” I told her, “Last year, my daughter packed absolutely nothing. She brought down the clothes/shoes/toiletries she wanted to take (after I told her to), but I did all the packing.” In fact, it was such a foreign concept to me at the time that I wrote a piece about college nesting. You can see it here.

This year, her sophomore year, was much different. We moved her into her sorority house last week. Preparations? I did almost nothing. Seriously. I didn’t order anything. She brought down the very expensive sheets she had packed last year, and I washed them, but that was about it. I did order some wardrobe boxes from Amazon (see them here) for her to pack in, but that’s it. I don’t think I did anything else. I guess she learned something from living away from home: how to take care of business. In fact, I went out for a little while the afternoon before we were taking her to school, and when I got home, all her belongings were in the foyer. She had two wardrobe boxes packed with her clothes, and she had everything else in moving bags and Hulken bags. She really made it easy on me this year.

Do I think that’s normal? Yes. Every friend I have spoken with says their sophomore children have handled all the moving logistics on their own. And all my friends told me last year that their kids did nothing.

What did those rising freshmen do with their time leading up to departure? They spent a lot of time with their high school friends. Perfectly normal. I’m no psychologist, but I remember how hard it is to leave friends behind. By the time sophomore move-in rolls around, they know their high school friends can visit anytime, and they are excited to get back to their college friends.

So don’t worry if your freshman isn’t taking care of business on the move-out process. It’s normal. Let them be with their friends. I can almost guarantee they will handle it next year.

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush Conversations

Sorority rush conversations.

***I am not a sorority recruitment consultant.

Participating in sorority recruitment soon? You’ve probably wondered what people talk about when they go to rush parties. You aren’t being officially “interviewed.” It’s more of a conversation. There are lots of topics, but the main thing is you want to come across as likable, enthusiastic, and interested. How to do that? Here are some ideas:

  • Listen to your rush counselor. Above all else, listen to your rush counselor. They are well-trained.
  • Have some questions in mind. Here’s the deal: in most cases, the sorority member will get the conversation rolling. She isn’t going to be “interviewing” you. She is going to talk to you like one college girl talking to another. However, it is important that you are an active participant. Be prepared to answer questions about yourself. What’s your major? How did you pick this school? What do you like to do on weekends? To see more likely questions, click here. Those are all standard questions a sorority member could ask just to get the ball rolling. Usually, you can find a common topic through those questions. If it doesn’t happen, you need to have some questions of your own to ask…open-ended questions to get a conversation rolling. See a list of some here. Just have a few questions in mind, in case they ask you if you have questions, and in case there is a lull in conversation.
  • Answer enthusiastically. When a member asks you questions, do not answer with a simple “yes” or “no.” For example, if she asks if you’re enjoying recruitment, you might respond, “Yes! I’m having the best time! I love the girls in my rush group, and I feel like I’m meeting awesome new friends everywhere I turn!” If she asks what your major is, talk about it. “Right now, I’m majoring in biology. I’ve always loved science. I hear the biology classes are really hard here, but I’m excited to get started! What’s YOUR major?” Never, ever look bored at a party…always excited to be there. Sometimes, the girls in a chapter will gauge your interest based on the look on your face and body language, so even when you’re tired, muster up some enthusiasm!
  • Check their social media. Between parties, it’s OK to check the social media account of the next chapter you’re visiting. You might get some conversation topics. Maybe you see photos of the members’ summer activities. You can say, “Wow! I saw so many fun places y’all visited on your Instagram!” That could lead a member to talk about what she did over the summer. Or you could say, “I love the chapter Instagram account! The photos from your philanthropy event in the spring were awesome!” But make sure you know what you’re talking about and don’t mix up chapters.
  • Ask the member about herself. People love it when someone asks about them. Therefore, ask about the girl’s major, her interests, her hometown, her rush experience, her hobbies, etc.
  • Be engaged. Listen closely to what she says/asks. Don’t look around the room when you’re talking with a sorority member. Pay attention to what she is saying. Make eye contact. Smile.
  • Don’t talk about sensitive subjects. Do not discuss boys (boyfriends, swaps, etc), religion, politics, alcohol, or money (how much you have or don’t have, how much are dues, etc). Some people call it the Bs: boys, Bible, Biden, booze, bucks.
  • Be friendly and polite. Whether you are truly interested in the chapter or not, be friendly and polite. Remember, most sorority girls have friends in other chapters, and if you’re rude, they will tell their friends in other chapters. Word gets around. Also, always thank the girls. If you are talking with a girl and she hands you off to another one (you’ll usually talk to more than one girl during a party), thank each girl at the end of each conversation. It’s OK to say, “I enjoyed talking with you! Thank you!” Also, make sure to thank the girl who walks you out. Thanking someone is always a good idea.
  • Do NOT discuss other chapters with sorority members or with other PNMs. No one needs to know who dropped you. No one needs to know your favorites. No one needs to know which chapters you do or don’t want to join. Do not speak ill of any chapters or sorority members. Keep your preferences to yourself.

If Panhellenic at the school you’re attending publishes a recruitment guide, read it thoroughly. You are more likely to have a fun experience during recruitment if you are well-informed.

Most of all, enjoy the experience!

by Kelly Mattei

Wardrobe Boxes Make Dorm Move-In Easier

Wardrobe boxes make dorm move-in easier.

With wardrobe boxes from Amazon. I ordered them last year when we moved our daughter into the dorm, and they were awesome! In fact, she told me yesterday that she wants to use them when she moves into the sorority house this year! Basically, they are boxes with a bar across the top, so your clothes remain hanging for transport. Sure, some of the dresses wrinkle at the bottom, but most tops/pants remain unwrinkled. You can hang a lot of hangers on each one. When we arrived at her dorm room, we simply lifted the hanging clothes from the bar and put them in the closet! So easy!

They’re just $34.99 for three boxes! Order from Amazon here to get them in time for move-in!

by Kelly Mattei

College Nesting?

I posted this last year, as we were preparing to send our daughter to her freshman year of college…

College nesting?

Nineteen years ago, we were eagerly awaiting the arrival of our daughter. She was due on October 11, so in August and September of that year, I was in full-on “nesting mode.” Anyone who has ever expected a baby knows what I’m talking about…that need to get every detail squared away before the baby arrives. Back then, we read all about it in What to Expect When You’re Expecting, so we weren’t surprised when we found ourselves lining drawers and washing everything in sight.

Fast forward 19 years, and I find myself doing the same thing.

Why am I “nesting” for my soon-to-be college freshman?

Why am I nesting for my soon-to-be college freshman? It had never occurred to me that this could happen, but a couple of days ago, as I packed up some IKEA bags with dorm bedding, lighting, and other items, I realized, “I’m nesting.” Unfortunately, I haven’t ever found a book called What to Expect When You’re Sending Your Child to College, so I don’t have any reference. Sure, I have called my friends who have college kids and asked them about it. They all assure me that what I’m doing is perfectly normal…that it’s a way of dealing with the transition. I just wish I could see it in writing somewhere.

Is the transition going to be easy? No. I am beyond excited for our daughter. She is going to enjoy the full college experience at my alma mater. Sure, there will be days she is stressed out or even homesick, but hopefully, I will be able to talk her through it. Or her friends will distract her. Or she will get busy and forget about homesickness. As for me, I don’t know who will talk me through it. I will miss her like crazy. Will I be able to handle it? Yes, of course. No, I’m not planning to move to be near her college. In fact, I have three big vacations planned for the month following her departure. If that doesn’t help take my mind off it, nothing will.

But that’s why this whole college nesting thing happens…for the parents. Any good parent is likely a little worried about their college-bound kid. I’m not worried about her handling the school work. She will figure that out. I know, too, that she will make new friends quickly…especially since she will be living in a dorm. It’s more of a concern about her spinning her wheels trying to get everything else done. I know she can and will do it, but my nesting instinct is making me prepare everything I can for her room. Cold/nausea/pain medications? Check. I don’t want her to have to run out to look for meds if she is feeling poorly. Cleaning supplies/vacuum cleaner? Check. I have no idea how often she and her roommate will clean the bathroom in their dorm room, but I want to make sure the tools are there. Laundry supplies/clothing prep? Check. I have packed a stand-up steamer and laundry supplies, including Static Guard, a wrinkle releaser, an on-the-go spot remover, and a small sewing kit. Basic school supplies? Check. Having a few things in advance won’t hurt. Bins and organizers for the room? Check. They likely won’t be used as planned, but they have them if they want them.

I know she and her roommate will need to go out and get more things after we, the parents, hit the road. It will give them an excuse to get out of the dorm for a little while. Do I think they will end up doubling up on some of the things I have carefully packed and organized for them? Yes, because they won’t even look at a lot of the things I have packed. They won’t even realize they already have rubberbands and paperclips. And that’s OK.

Whether they use the things I have packed or not, I will know I sent her off prepared for most things. She might go out and look for Band-Aids for the blisters on her heels even though I packed them in a medicine box for them. And again, that’s OK. I know those Band-Aids are there for them. That’s why I’m “college nesting,” just like other parents are all over the country right now. Sure, it’s for them, but mostly, it makes me feel better about her departure. By focusing on mundane tasks, I am not focusing on the fact that this child (adult?) I have nurtured and loved for almost 19 years is flying the coop.

She is leaving us and will never live in our house again on a permanent basis. I think that’s the fact I am trying to process while I’m preparing her for the next school year. We are proud parents. We are happy that she is moving into this next phase of life, and we are excited about what it means for us too. But it’s going to be a transition, for sure.

I guess I should get busy packing up some clothes for her today.

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush: Last Minute Items

Sorority Rush: Last Minute Items.

If you’re planning to participate in sorority recruitment in the fall at a southern school, you likely registered already. Mark that off your checklist. You likely have your recommendations done. You probably have picked out your wardrobe and are just finishing up assembling your rush bag. What else is there to do?

Well, you have to wait, of course, but while you wait, there are some things you can do:

  • Shore up your wardrobe. Yes, you have a few dresses for rush, but depending on the school you are attending, you might need/want more than one dress per round. At The University of Alabama, for example, Philanthropy Round takes place over three days. You won’t know your schedule until everything gets started, so right now, you don’t know if you’ll have parties on one day, two days, or all three days. It’s best to be prepared for all three days. Sure, you can wear the same shorts/skirt to all three days of Philanthropy Round, but what if you sweat a lot in it? Will you want to wear it again? What if you spill something on it? Same for Sisterhood Round: if it takes place over two days, can you wear the same dress both days? Yes. Do you really want to? There’s still time to purchase another dress or two if you think you need it. Just remember, it’s hot in the south in August! Amazon has some cute dresses at these links:
    • Smocked Mini Dress. Y’all this inexpensive dress comes in several colors. I love all of them! They’re great for those really hot game days too! Priced under $30, these are adorable! See them here.
    • Love Shack Fancy. I know lots of girls love their Love Shack Fancy dresses. Get their cute Russ dress here. It’s pricy, but it’s cute!
    • One shoulder dress. Pretty Garden has an adorable one-shoulder tiered dress in several colors for under $50. Check it out here.
    • Another one-shoulder dress that resembles Love Shack Fancy, in my opinion. It also comes in lots of colors and is less than $50. See it here.
    • Amanda Uprichard dresses. Amanda Uprichard makes lots of great dresses for rush. See a selection here.
    • Belle Maison Collective. This boutique is out of Huntsville, Alabama, and they have some great options for rush…dresses, shoes, skirts, and shorts. Take a peek here.
    • Revolve. Check revolve.com for some great dress deals, since they have put a lot of seasonal items on sale! Click here.
    • Shopbop. Another great resource is shopbop.com. Click here.
    • Zara. At our house, we love Zara. Click here to see what they have.
  • Pick shoes. When picking which shoes you want to wear with which outfit during rush, remember you don’t need to be uncomfortable. If your feet are hurting throughout the process, you won’t feel your best, and likely won’t project your best self. This is not the time to try a new pair of stilettos. Also, don’t forget to have some comfy slippers/Crocs/flip flops in your Rush Bag, so you can wear them between parties.
  • Accessorize. It’s important to accessorize but not over-accessorize. Understated elegance is best…pearl earrings, small gold hoops, etc.
  • Rush Bag. Don’t forget to put together a Rush bag to help you freshen up between parties in weather so hot it feels like the surface of the sun! To see what you need for the bag, click here.

It’s almost time! So exciting! When my daughter went through the recruitment process last year, she made some great memories!

by Kelly Mattei

More Great Prime Day Deals!

More great Prime Day deals! Get them now…today!

  • Ring doorbell. There are some insanely good deals on Ring Doorbells at Prime today! Wow! If you don’t have one, now is the time to get it! One model that’s normally $100 is now $55…that’s 45% off! See it here. Another one, that’s wired with ring chime, is normally $79, but is going for $49.99…that’s 38% off! See it here. And the All-New Ring Battery Doorbell Plus, regularly priced at $ 179.99 is now $129.99, a savings of 28%. See it here. Or see all the Ring doorbell offerings here. The ones marked with red “Prime Day Deal” are the ones on sale.
  • Apple Airpods (2nd gen). Normally $129, these are now $89.99 on Amazon Prime…today only, since it’s a Prime Day Deal! Go get them here.
  • Black and Decker Dustbuster. Save 33% on the Black and Decker Dustbuster today only…marked down from $60 to $40! Have a student going to college? They need this! Or maybe you just need one around the house. Take advantage of this deal here.
  • Ruggable. Y’all have heard of Ruggable rugs…washable rugs with great designs! All their rugs are discounted on Prime Day! Get one or more today for dorm rooms, kitchens, bedrooms, hallways…get them now for discounted prices! Get this deal here.
  • Nordictrack Treadmill. In the market for a quality treadmill at a discounted price? Get a Nordictrack one at Prime Days…that means TODAY! Normally $800, it’s now $600…that’s 25% off. Get it now here.
  • Saucony Sneakers. Need new sneakers or running shoes? Lots of Saucony styles are on sale…some are regularly $130 and are being sold for less that $40!!! This is your chance to get some quality sneaks for a great price! See them here.
  • Luggage. Need new luggage? There are all kinds of crazy deals for Prime Day here. Save money by getting it now and use it on that last trip of the summer! My friend bought some yesterday for a trip next week!

*See my posts from yesterday for more great deals here and here and here.

***Keep checking back! I’ll post more deals as I see them!***

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush Deals on Amazon Prime Days

Sorority rush deals on Amazon Prime Days.

Amazon Prime Days are here, so it’s a great time to scoop up some of the deals on things you can use for sorority recruitment!

  • Rush Bag. You know that rush bag you need to hold the essentials for hot days in recruitment in the south? There are some great deals on bags that would be great. One great nylon deal is here. Or maybe you prefer neoprene? Click here.
  • Dresses. If you still need to add some dresses to your recruitment lineup, there are some great Amanda Uprichard dresses offered on Prime Days here. See some BB Dakota Prime deals here. Or for great variety, check out Shopbop’s Amazon Prime offerings. We love Shopbop, and I especially love that I can shop them through Amazon. They also have great shoes for rush! click here. Also, don’t forget you’ll likely need a swimsuit right after recruitment for your pledge retreat!
  • Comfy shoes. Last year, when my daughter participated in recruitment at Alabama, she had some comfy shoes to slip on her feet between parties. For a great deal through Prime Days on some, click here. My daughter wore her Ugg slippers. Fluffettes are on sale for Prime Day for $80 (reg $110) here. Or maybe some Crocs? They have tons of Crocs with Prime Day deals here.
  • Rush bag essentials. Band-Aids for those blistered heels? Click here. There are some great Prime deals on Neosporin to treat those blisters here. Prime Day deals on Motrin and Tylenol for that Rush Bag here. Prime Day deals on travel size hand sanitizer here. Get your handheld fan at a deep discount here. And a great deal on a travel/folding umbrella to fit in your rush bag here. If you think you won’t need that umbrella in the south, you’re wrong. Just do it.
  • Small charger for your bag. Get a Prime deal on one here.
  • Velvet hangers. Hang your lovely rush dresses on velvet hangers to keep them from slipping off the hanger, and also to conserve room in your tiny dorm closet. There’s a Prime deal here.

I’ll keep posting more deals as I find them! Get busy shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

Preparing for 2nd Year of College

Preparing for 2nd year of college.

Last year, at this time, I was at a completely different place in life. My only child, a daughter, was preparing to leave for her freshman year of college 450 miles away from home…and me…450 miles away from me. Actually, for the most part, I was the one preparing. I’m not even sure she was giving it much thought, as she tried to relish every moment with her friends at home. I, however, was gathering everything I could think of that she might need for a dorm room. I was trying to have everything done, but there were definitely things I missed. You can read my piece titled College Nesting here. *See the bottom of this page for information about things you might need for a freshman dorm room that you haven’t considered.

But here we are, one year later, and it’s amazing how things have changed!

My daughter leaves in less than a month to start her sophomore year. Ask me how many times we have discussed bedding or dorm essentials. Zero. OK, maybe once…when I asked if I need to be worrying about her room in the sorority house, and she told me no. That’s it. I’m not even exactly sure what day we are taking her back! August 3rd? 4th? 5th? I have asked several times, but I get a different answer every time, and I’m not worried about it. We will take her when we take her.

Last year at this time, I was worried she might get homesick. She was fine. I was worried she wouldn’t know how to handle medical emergencies. She had a few and handled them like a pro! I was worried I would miss her so badly that my heart would break. It didn’t. I probably wasn’t as worried as most moms, because I’m just not a worrier, but I had a little bit of worry. I was mostly excited. I was excited about all the new friends she would make. I was excited for her to start classes. And yes, I was excited about becoming an empty-nester.

OK, so maybe “empty-nester” is a little extreme. No, she isn’t living in our nest full-time anymore, but we are paying all her bills. She is self-sufficient as far as taking care of herself, but financially…not one bit. So we are empty-nesters in that we have the house to ourselves most of the time, but the credit card bills would say otherwise.

Moms of college freshmen, if you’re wondering what you’ll be like in one year from now, I can’t tell you exactly, but I can tell you how things have played out for me. Life is a little quieter in some ways but more fun in some ways too. On a day-to-day basis, when our daughter is away at college, life is quieter. I have my hobbies. I have my friends. I have some work to do. I have plenty to keep myself busy, but it’s quieter around our house while she’s at school, for sure. This summer hasn’t been so quiet, because her friends have been in and out of the house all day and night when we have been home. How is it more fun since she left? Well, my husband and I have enjoyed some trips together that we wouldn’t have been able to make if our daughter were still in high school. Back then, we had to plan everything around the school calendar. Not anymore! Now, we just pick dates and go! Does that mean life is more fun without her around? No way! She is way more fun than either of us, so we always love having her with us.

We get really excited every time we get to see her!

Do I miss having my daughter around all the time? I definitely miss my time with her, but we talk everyday. She didn’t come home a lot during the school year, so we were excited when it was time for her to come home for summer! She had only been home for about a week when we remembered how much noisier our household is with her here. We enjoy her friends. We enjoy the silliness. But we don’t sleep as much when she’s here, because she is in and out of the house at all hours. It doesn’t bother me as much as it bothers my “disciplined” husband who believes he should go to sleep and wake up at the exact same time every single day of life. I’m less rigid, so it doesn’t bother me, but I have to listen to him. Ugh. I always say, “He just stays in my ear!” And that’s the truth, but I have to admit he’s getting better.

So what am I doing to prepare for her to go back to school? I’m not doing all the things I was doing last year. I’m not running around trying to find things for the dorm or dresses for sorority recruitment. I’m just relaxing. She’ll take care of it. She has a year of college experience behind her, and she knows what she needs.

***Dorm items you might not realize you need:

  • Clothes steamer. If your daughter is going to school in the south, she needs a steamer. I don’t care if it’s upright or handheld, she needs one. I sent my daughter and her roommate with an upright one, and they used it all the time. Purchase it here. (It’s a quality steamer!) For a quality handheld one, click here. Here’s my theory: an upright, to me, is easier to use, and no one will remove it from the room. A handheld one is much more likely to go missing when someone “borrows” it. Keep that in mind.
  • Bluetooth Speaker. They need it. Just trust me on this. JBL has a whole Amazon store. You can certainly find what you need here. My daughter needed her speaker, but I didn’t think of it in advance, so I took it when I went down for a football game. How did I not know she would need it? Back when I was in school, we played “getting ready” music; surely, they still do that? By the way, my own personal “get ready” music back in the day was Aretha Franklin’s Greatest Hits.
  • Swiffer. Dust bunnies collect fast in dorm rooms. Encourage your student to keep the floor in his/her room with a Swiffer. Purchase here.
  • Disinfecting Wipes. They might not even use them, but if they get the urge to wipe down the surfaces in their rooms, these work great, and they’re disposable! Purchase here.
  • Can and bottle opener. Last year, when my daughter wasn’t feeling well, a friend brought her a can of chicken noodle soup, but she couldn’t open it, because she didn’t have a can opener. Make sure your student has a can and bottle opener! Purchase here. And make sure they know how to use it beforehand! See some other cool gadgets for opening plastic soda bottles and jars here.
  • Laundry backpack. You can get baskets or bags, but laundry backpacks are a lot easier to carry! See them here.
  • Medicines. In the state where my daughter goes to college, people under 19 cannot purchase cold medicines…not even Benadryl! Therefore, I tried to think of every possible medical item she could need, and I packed them in boxes….bandages, Band-Aids, Neosporin, Motrin, Tylenol, Benadryl, Cortisone cream, allergy creams, cold meds, cough meds…and on the labels, I wrote when to use them…for cough, for fever, for headaches, for muscle aches, etc. I used plastic storage bins from Amazon. There are lots to choose from here.
  • Hulken Bag. I tell everyone about these all the time, because we have them, and we use them all the time! They’re especially helpful when taking things to and from the car. For example, if my daughter goes to the UPS Store to pick up packages, she might have several. It can be difficult to carry them all in, but she just puts them in her Hulken bag and pulls them in! See it here. I highly recommend them. And when you’re not using it, just fold it and put it away!