Tag / soccer

by Kelly Mattei

The Ted Lasso Effect

The Ted Lasso Effect.

I’m finally watching Ted Lasso. I don’t know when or where the series started, but I’m watching it on Apple+ these days. Lots of my friends told me I should watch it over the past few years, but I am the person who usually doesn’t like to watch what everyone else is watching. You’re watching Grey’s Anatomy? I’m not. You love Yellowstone? I might love it if I watched it, but knowing everyone else loves it makes me not want to watch it. It’s the same way I pick travel destinations. Everyone’s going to Italy? Greece? I know they are lovely countries, but I don’t want to go when everyone else thinks it’s the thing to do. I’ll go to Panamá, Argentina, or Montenegro instead. I know. I’m weird.

However, a few weeks ago, my friend, Jennifer, came over for coffee, and she mentioned Ted Lasso again. I finally gave in and started watching that night.

Wow.

Even though the first episode is a little slow, I was bowled over. By the second episode, I was all in. It might be my favorite series ever. I have loved Mad Men for a long time, but if I had to choose between the very handsome hound dog, Don Draper (one of my favorite characters ever), and Ted, I think I’m leaving Mr. Draper for goofy, wordsmith-y Ted Lasso. Why? It’s going to sound corny, but I think Ted, the character, makes me want to be a better person. There’s something about his positivity that is infectious, and it makes me want to be more positive! It makes me feel joyful and makes me want to share that joy! I like to say he brings “fresh joy” into my life. Sure, there is joy in life every day, but sometimes, we get an infusion of joy from an unexpected place…that’s what I call “fresh joy.”

If you’re not familiar with Ted Lasso, the series, I will try to get you current. In the first episode, we meet the female owner of a men’s soccer team in England. She got the team in her divorce, and the team was her now ex-husband’s prized possession. Her goal for the team? Run it into the ground…just to make her ex-husband miserable. Her first order of business? Fire the current coach and hire a coach from the mid-western United States who has no knowledge of soccer…er, football, in England. The guy she hires? Ted Lasso, played brilliantly by Jason Sudeikis. He has coached a low level college American football team to a championship, but he literally knows nothing about soccer. He gives everyone nicknames. He wants good things for people, even while he is suffering through his own marital issues. And he enjoys wordplay and movie references. Most of all, he believes in his team…even while struggling with his own personal issues.

In some ways, ol’ Ted reminds me of my daddy. No, my daddy wasn’t goofy with a bad mustache, but he did enjoy wordplay. He liked literary and movie references. He liked personal stories, and he was a good storyteller with a great sense of humor and a sense of loyalty…like Ted. He wanted good things for other people…like Ted. He knew life isn’t all about the win. It’s also about doing the right thing and sharing joy with others. No, Ted’s not perfect. My daddy wasn’t perfect, either, but I’m just saying I see some similarities. Maybe that’s why I like Ted so much…even though the fans of his new team consistently seem destined to hate him.

Since I started watching it, I find myself happier! I’m literally happier. I find myself seeing the good in people and complimenting them in the airport and in Target. I find myself smiling all the time! I have found my old self again! It made me realize I had become less cheerful than before, and damn it, it’s not fun to be less cheerful. It’s a lot more fun to be cheerful. When I was out of town over the past week, I met lots of people I wouldn’t have met had I not been shaken back into spreading joy by Ted Lasso. I met a lovely couple, Henry and Alice. They were sitting outside the hotel where I stayed last weekend. He just turned 85, and they were celebrating their 60th anniversary, even though their house just burned. They are finding the positive. We talked for a while about how, often, things we think happen to us actually turn out to be something that happened for us. This lovely elderly couple was able to see the silver lining of their house fire! We shared some stories and hugged. I also met a young man in McDonald’s, when I went in to use the bathroom (and get a Big Mac Meal) after a football game. I walked past him on my way to the bathroom, and he waved. It reminded me I was in Alabama, where people are friendly, so before I left McD’s, I told him he had made my day by reminding me how friendly people are there. He smiled. Yes, he might have thought I was completely nuts, but that’s OK too. There are people who think Ted Lasso is nuts too.

I got halfway through the third season of Ted Lasso before I convinced my husband to watch an episode. I like the series so much that I was willing to start it over, so I can watch it with my husband from start to finish! We are still in the first season, but even the man who never wants to watch a series I pick agrees it’s a great show. Last night, I talked with my aunt in Florida, hopefully, I convinced her to watch it. She is very much a positive-thinker. We both have always believed that doing something nice for someone else actually makes us feel better, so when I told her about it, she sounded excited.

I telling you to watch it even if you’re absolutely happy, but you especially need to watch it if you’re not. It’s a game changer. The characters are well-developed, and the different story lines fit together while the show flows perfectly. Like Ted Lasso, the character, you’ll likely find yourself seeing the good in some of the characters you want to hate. My favorite characters besides Ted? Sam, Dani Rojas, Rebecca…heck, I like all of them, even Jamie.

So get off your arse and go watch Ted Lasso on Apple+.

by Kelly Mattei

Forever Friends

Forever friends.

We never really know who will be our forever friends, do we? I have had friends in my life I thought would be forever friends, but for different reasons (sometimes my fault, sometimes theirs, sometimes no one’s fault), it didn’t work out that way. For the most part, we just never knew the last phone call would be the last phone call. Or the last lunch would be the last lunch. We just drifted apart for whatever reason…moving, new responsibilities, life. No matter what, they all had some effect on my life. I have learned something from every friend in my life.

But my 18-yr-old daughter is visiting a friend in Pensacola, Florida, this weekend, and I think they are going to be forever friends. I can’t explain why I think it, but I do. Something about these two…a bond formed outside of other friendships, maybe? They support each other all the time. They have each other’s backs all the time. And they have similar interests (they’re both athletic, fun, and funny). They talk, I think, almost every single night via Facetime. So many nights I have walked into my daughter’s room to wish her good night, and she is talking with this friend. It makes me happy.

In 2014, when my daughter was 10 years old, we had a place on the Alabama Gulf Coast. That summer, because we knew she wouldn’t be willing to do it later, we decided to spend most of our time there…at the beach. Our daughter was playing club soccer, and at that point, she was very into it. Her club soccer coach, upon hearing we would be at the beach for the summer, suggested she find someone to practice with there…or even attend a camp there. So I did what moms do; I enrolled her in a camp and also enrolled her in some regular training sessions.

The camp I signed her up for turned out to be on the Naval Base in Pensacola. That Monday morning, bright and early, when we arrived, she looked out at the field from the car and said to me, “Mom, it’s all little kids.” She was right. It looked like a lot of six and seven year old kids. We had arrived early, so we had time to sit in the car and talk while we scanned the field. After a few minutes, I spotted a blonde girl who appeared to be about my daughter’s age, and I said, “There’s a girl your age!” She didn’t waste any time; she jumped out of the car and ran straight to the girl on the field. I stayed for the session but didn’t watch all the training. I walked around the area for exercise while she played, but I noticed when they had a break and walked back over to the sideline. My daughter came running over, her new friend in tow and introduced me to Lindsey. Even after knowing each other for an hour, they were already acting like best friends!

The camp was a one-week camp. Our daughter wasn’t feeling well one of the days, so she missed. Another day, it stormed, as it does on the Gulf Coast. But when she was there, she played soccer with her new friend at the camp. The last day was cut short by another storm, and soon after starting, the skies opened with torrential rains. We all ran to our cars to escape the downpour, and the rest of the last day of the camp was canceled. We left without getting contact information for Lindsey, because everything had ended so abruptly. It was fun while it lasted.

The next week, I took our daughter to the first of the weekly soccer training sessions. It was just going to be two hours a week on Wednesday mornings. So that Wednesday morning, I drove her to the field. And when we arrived, she looked out at the field and said, “Mom, it’s all big kids.” I couldn’t believe it. She was right. They all appeared to be over 13, and she was just 10. We sat in the car and talked about whether she wanted to do the training or not, and after a few minutes, I saw a minivan pull up behind me, and three kids tumbled out…two older kids and a girl who appeared to be our daughter’s age. I said, “Look! That girl is about your age!” She looked back and excitedly said, “It’s Lindsey!” And she couldn’t get out of the car fast enough! She jumped out with her soccer bag, and the girls embraced happily before going out onto the field.

After that, Lindsey visited us at our place on the beach, and the girls bonded. Whenever we visited the beach after that, they hung out. Two girls who lived 500 miles apart became best friends…having been brought together by soccer…with a little nudge from God, I think. Eventually, Lindsey visited us in Charlotte a couple of times, and last year, she vacationed with us in California. I’m not sure if her parents know it yet, but the girls are planning for her to vacation with us again this summer…maybe more than once!

Their meeting and formation of a friendship is one of my favorite friendship stories. In the fall, they are both off to college. No, they aren’t going to the same school. Mine is going to the University of Alabama, and Lindsey is off to Ole Miss. They’ll be just three hours apart, so I see lots of road trips in their future.

They’ll likely still Facetime regularly, though not every night, but I feel pretty sure these two will be forever friends. God put them in each other’s path for a reason.

by Kelly Mattei

8th Grade Underdogs

8th Grade Underdogs.

No, I don’t want to relive middle school. Lord, no…just no. I don’t even want to relive my daughter’s middle school years. We were fortunate she had great teachers and administrators for most of her middle school, but she wouldn’t want to do it again, and I wouldn’t want her to. Today, though, a friend posted her daughter’s field hockey stick for sale on Facebook, with the caption, “For sale! The field hockey stick has a proud history of fending off many goals plus an epic win over [our rival]. #letthemeatcake  And it brought back a great memory from my daughter’s 8th grade field hockey season.

One great thing about middle school was that it offered students an opportunity to try sports they had never played before, and our daughter wanted to try to play field hockey in seventh grade. She had been to a field hockey clinic or two, but soccer had always been her primary sport. As the school year started, she decided that, even though she was also playing club soccer, she wanted to play middle school field hockey.

And so the school year started, and she would stay after school for field hockey practice for a couple of hours. Then I would shuttle her over to another part of town for soccer practice. It was more stressful for me than it was for her, because of the traffic at 5:30, but we did it. And then one day, after one of the first field hockey games, she got in the car and said she just couldn’t go to soccer practice. She had too much homework.

Something had to give.

I told her, “It’s time to make a choice. We can’t continue like this. Your schoolwork can’t suffer because of all these sports commitments.” And right there in the car, without hesitation, she picked field hockey. She was tired of soccer, and I understood…she had been playing since she was five years old. Frankly, I was tired of traveling all over the state for it every weekend. Getting up at 5am to drive to Mebane, North Carolina, for an early game was not my ideal way to spend a weekend. So…field hockey it was!

She loved it, but I wouldn’t let her play club field hockey, because I wasn’t getting us back into the same situation we had been in before with soccer. She needed time to get her schoolwork done in a timely fashion, and she needed family time and friend time. So she just played on her 7th grade school team, and she had a great time! Most of the girls on the team had never played before, so they were all learning together. They won some games and lost some games…maybe even lost most of them, but they had a great time. It was a good learning year, and they had a coach who was patient and let everyone get some playing time. And then, in 8th grade, most of them played again.

In eighth grade, the stakes were a little higher. The girls all got some playing time, but they didn’t get equal playing time. In eighth grade, they play to win. Again, I think most of the girls had a great time, and they played pretty darn well. In fact, as the season came to an end, they found themselves in the semifinals of the conference championship (the highest level in middle school) against their biggest cross-town rival. Our team was the underdog, but they had heart…just like The Bad News Bears…but with field hockey…and they’re girls. Their coach got them motivated, and they went into the game wanting to win…on the other team’s field.

The game started, and it was a close one…both teams were playing really well. A friend’s daughter was playing goalie for our team and had some great saves. The girls were stepping up their play! They were playing together beautifully as they never had before! Coach had really pulled them together! She certainly gets all the credit. And then, my daughter, who was playing center-mid, went down with an ankle injury right after halftime, when one of her friends on the opposing team accidentally hit the ball hard right into her ankle. We heard it in the stands: THWACK! My friend who was sitting next to me sat down with me, as I fully expected to have to take my daughter to Urgent Care, where, at the time, we should have had our own parking spot from all her sports injuries. From the stands, though, I could see her crying on the other sideline and icing the ankle, and in a little while, she was back on the field! I was elated!

The game came to an end, and our little team of Bad News Bears won by one goal! They jumped! They screamed! They cheered! They celebrated! And then, while our girls were still celebrating, two or three players from the opposing team quietly approached our players. They were carrying a cake…the one that was intended for their celebration…except they weren’t celebrating. The girls said their coach wouldn’t let them have their celebratory cake, because they didn’t win…and they offered it to our team. We didn’t have a cake, so it was a gracious gesture. Our girls were in shock but accepted it, and a new motto was born: Winners Eat Cake!

Our girls went on to play another cross-town rival in the championship and lost, and although they were disappointed, they have never forgotten how awesome that semifinal win was! As our girls start their junior year of high school and a new, strange field hockey season during COVID, they are still looking forward to the season and being together…and making more memories together. Sometimes the underdogs get the win. Such a sweet memory…

Hoping we can have a great season this year…even with COVID!

Winners eat cake!