Author / Kelly Mattei

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Posts by Kelly Mattei

I grew up in Alabama but have lived in Charlotte, NC, for more than 25 years...longer than I've ever lived any other one place. Growing up, we moved a few times, so when people ask where I’m from, I just say Alabama, even though I have lived in three other states. I have been married for 25 years, and we have one daughter, who has one year of college left. We love being parents, but we also love empty-nesting. We enjoy traveling, star-gazing, walking, and sunshine. I worked in the travel business for 11 years, and I’m always looking for the next place to visit, but interestingly, I don’t like going where everyone else is going. If everyone else is going to Italy or Greece, no thanks. I’d rather go to Latin America or somewhere in the US I haven’t seen before. I’ve never liked doing what everyone else is doing! I have visited 40 states and would love to visit all 50. I also consider myself a “connector.” I like helping people know other people. No, not for money…for fun.
by Kelly Mattei

Freshman Move-In vs Sophomore Move-In

Freshman move-in vs sophomore move-in.

A friend texted me today telling me her daughter hasn’t helped her gather or pack anything for move-in to her college freshman dorm next week. She seemed annoyed about it, but I chuckled to myself. I know what she is going through. I know how she feels. I went through the same thing last year.

Last year, as we were preparing for our daughter to go off to college for her freshman year, I was making lists and shopping for everything she could possibly need in her dorm room. Boxes filled our foyer. I washed and folded new sheets for her that are better than the sheets I have on my own bed. I packed all the medical supplies, cleaning supplies, and toiletries I could possibly think to pack.

I told my friend, “I think that’s normal. She is probably in denial about her upcoming departure. You’re nesting…just like you did when you were expecting a baby. Nesting/staying busy takes your mind off the fact that your child is about to move hundreds of miles away. If you’re busy you won’t think about it, and if she doesn’t pack anything, she doesn’t have to think about leaving her friends behind.” I told her, “Last year, my daughter packed absolutely nothing. She brought down the clothes/shoes/toiletries she wanted to take (after I told her to), but I did all the packing.” In fact, it was such a foreign concept to me at the time that I wrote a piece about college nesting. You can see it here.

This year, her sophomore year, was much different. We moved her into her sorority house last week. Preparations? I did almost nothing. Seriously. I didn’t order anything. She brought down the very expensive sheets she had packed last year, and I washed them, but that was about it. I did order some wardrobe boxes from Amazon (see them here) for her to pack in, but that’s it. I don’t think I did anything else. I guess she learned something from living away from home: how to take care of business. In fact, I went out for a little while the afternoon before we were taking her to school, and when I got home, all her belongings were in the foyer. She had two wardrobe boxes packed with her clothes, and she had everything else in moving bags and Hulken bags. She really made it easy on me this year.

Do I think that’s normal? Yes. Every friend I have spoken with says their sophomore children have handled all the moving logistics on their own. And all my friends told me last year that their kids did nothing.

What did those rising freshmen do with their time leading up to departure? They spent a lot of time with their high school friends. Perfectly normal. I’m no psychologist, but I remember how hard it is to leave friends behind. By the time sophomore move-in rolls around, they know their high school friends can visit anytime, and they are excited to get back to their college friends.

So don’t worry if your freshman isn’t taking care of business on the move-out process. It’s normal. Let them be with their friends. I can almost guarantee they will handle it next year.

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush Conversations

Sorority rush conversations.

***I am not a sorority recruitment consultant.

Participating in sorority recruitment soon? You’ve probably wondered what people talk about when they go to rush parties. You aren’t being officially “interviewed.” It’s more of a conversation. There are lots of topics, but the main thing is you want to come across as likable, enthusiastic, and interested. How to do that? Here are some ideas:

  • Listen to your rush counselor. Above all else, listen to your rush counselor. They are well-trained.
  • Have some questions in mind. Here’s the deal: in most cases, the sorority member will get the conversation rolling. She isn’t going to be “interviewing” you. She is going to talk to you like one college girl talking to another. However, it is important that you are an active participant. Be prepared to answer questions about yourself. What’s your major? How did you pick this school? What do you like to do on weekends? To see more likely questions, click here. Those are all standard questions a sorority member could ask just to get the ball rolling. Usually, you can find a common topic through those questions. If it doesn’t happen, you need to have some questions of your own to ask…open-ended questions to get a conversation rolling. See a list of some here. Just have a few questions in mind, in case they ask you if you have questions, and in case there is a lull in conversation.
  • Answer enthusiastically. When a member asks you questions, do not answer with a simple “yes” or “no.” For example, if she asks if you’re enjoying recruitment, you might respond, “Yes! I’m having the best time! I love the girls in my rush group, and I feel like I’m meeting awesome new friends everywhere I turn!” If she asks what your major is, talk about it. “Right now, I’m majoring in biology. I’ve always loved science. I hear the biology classes are really hard here, but I’m excited to get started! What’s YOUR major?” Never, ever look bored at a party…always excited to be there. Sometimes, the girls in a chapter will gauge your interest based on the look on your face and body language, so even when you’re tired, muster up some enthusiasm!
  • Check their social media. Between parties, it’s OK to check the social media account of the next chapter you’re visiting. You might get some conversation topics. Maybe you see photos of the members’ summer activities. You can say, “Wow! I saw so many fun places y’all visited on your Instagram!” That could lead a member to talk about what she did over the summer. Or you could say, “I love the chapter Instagram account! The photos from your philanthropy event in the spring were awesome!” But make sure you know what you’re talking about and don’t mix up chapters.
  • Ask the member about herself. People love it when someone asks about them. Therefore, ask about the girl’s major, her interests, her hometown, her rush experience, her hobbies, etc.
  • Be engaged. Listen closely to what she says/asks. Don’t look around the room when you’re talking with a sorority member. Pay attention to what she is saying. Make eye contact. Smile.
  • Don’t talk about sensitive subjects. Do not discuss boys (boyfriends, swaps, etc), religion, politics, alcohol, or money (how much you have or don’t have, how much are dues, etc). Some people call it the Bs: boys, Bible, Biden, booze, bucks.
  • Be friendly and polite. Whether you are truly interested in the chapter or not, be friendly and polite. Remember, most sorority girls have friends in other chapters, and if you’re rude, they will tell their friends in other chapters. Word gets around. Also, always thank the girls. If you are talking with a girl and she hands you off to another one (you’ll usually talk to more than one girl during a party), thank each girl at the end of each conversation. It’s OK to say, “I enjoyed talking with you! Thank you!” Also, make sure to thank the girl who walks you out. Thanking someone is always a good idea.
  • Do NOT discuss other chapters with sorority members or with other PNMs. No one needs to know who dropped you. No one needs to know your favorites. No one needs to know which chapters you do or don’t want to join. Do not speak ill of any chapters or sorority members. Keep your preferences to yourself.

If Panhellenic at the school you’re attending publishes a recruitment guide, read it thoroughly. You are more likely to have a fun experience during recruitment if you are well-informed.

Most of all, enjoy the experience!

by Kelly Mattei

Wardrobe Boxes Make Dorm Move-In Easier

Wardrobe boxes make dorm move-in easier.

With wardrobe boxes from Amazon. I ordered them last year when we moved our daughter into the dorm, and they were awesome! In fact, she told me yesterday that she wants to use them when she moves into the sorority house this year! Basically, they are boxes with a bar across the top, so your clothes remain hanging for transport. Sure, some of the dresses wrinkle at the bottom, but most tops/pants remain unwrinkled. You can hang a lot of hangers on each one. When we arrived at her dorm room, we simply lifted the hanging clothes from the bar and put them in the closet! So easy!

They’re just $34.99 for three boxes! Order from Amazon here to get them in time for move-in!

by Kelly Mattei

College Nesting?

I posted this last year, as we were preparing to send our daughter to her freshman year of college…

College nesting?

Nineteen years ago, we were eagerly awaiting the arrival of our daughter. She was due on October 11, so in August and September of that year, I was in full-on “nesting mode.” Anyone who has ever expected a baby knows what I’m talking about…that need to get every detail squared away before the baby arrives. Back then, we read all about it in What to Expect When You’re Expecting, so we weren’t surprised when we found ourselves lining drawers and washing everything in sight.

Fast forward 19 years, and I find myself doing the same thing.

Why am I “nesting” for my soon-to-be college freshman?

Why am I nesting for my soon-to-be college freshman? It had never occurred to me that this could happen, but a couple of days ago, as I packed up some IKEA bags with dorm bedding, lighting, and other items, I realized, “I’m nesting.” Unfortunately, I haven’t ever found a book called What to Expect When You’re Sending Your Child to College, so I don’t have any reference. Sure, I have called my friends who have college kids and asked them about it. They all assure me that what I’m doing is perfectly normal…that it’s a way of dealing with the transition. I just wish I could see it in writing somewhere.

Is the transition going to be easy? No. I am beyond excited for our daughter. She is going to enjoy the full college experience at my alma mater. Sure, there will be days she is stressed out or even homesick, but hopefully, I will be able to talk her through it. Or her friends will distract her. Or she will get busy and forget about homesickness. As for me, I don’t know who will talk me through it. I will miss her like crazy. Will I be able to handle it? Yes, of course. No, I’m not planning to move to be near her college. In fact, I have three big vacations planned for the month following her departure. If that doesn’t help take my mind off it, nothing will.

But that’s why this whole college nesting thing happens…for the parents. Any good parent is likely a little worried about their college-bound kid. I’m not worried about her handling the school work. She will figure that out. I know, too, that she will make new friends quickly…especially since she will be living in a dorm. It’s more of a concern about her spinning her wheels trying to get everything else done. I know she can and will do it, but my nesting instinct is making me prepare everything I can for her room. Cold/nausea/pain medications? Check. I don’t want her to have to run out to look for meds if she is feeling poorly. Cleaning supplies/vacuum cleaner? Check. I have no idea how often she and her roommate will clean the bathroom in their dorm room, but I want to make sure the tools are there. Laundry supplies/clothing prep? Check. I have packed a stand-up steamer and laundry supplies, including Static Guard, a wrinkle releaser, an on-the-go spot remover, and a small sewing kit. Basic school supplies? Check. Having a few things in advance won’t hurt. Bins and organizers for the room? Check. They likely won’t be used as planned, but they have them if they want them.

I know she and her roommate will need to go out and get more things after we, the parents, hit the road. It will give them an excuse to get out of the dorm for a little while. Do I think they will end up doubling up on some of the things I have carefully packed and organized for them? Yes, because they won’t even look at a lot of the things I have packed. They won’t even realize they already have rubberbands and paperclips. And that’s OK.

Whether they use the things I have packed or not, I will know I sent her off prepared for most things. She might go out and look for Band-Aids for the blisters on her heels even though I packed them in a medicine box for them. And again, that’s OK. I know those Band-Aids are there for them. That’s why I’m “college nesting,” just like other parents are all over the country right now. Sure, it’s for them, but mostly, it makes me feel better about her departure. By focusing on mundane tasks, I am not focusing on the fact that this child (adult?) I have nurtured and loved for almost 19 years is flying the coop.

She is leaving us and will never live in our house again on a permanent basis. I think that’s the fact I am trying to process while I’m preparing her for the next school year. We are proud parents. We are happy that she is moving into this next phase of life, and we are excited about what it means for us too. But it’s going to be a transition, for sure.

I guess I should get busy packing up some clothes for her today.

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush: Last Minute Items

Sorority Rush: Last Minute Items.

If you’re planning to participate in sorority recruitment in the fall at a southern school, you likely registered already. Mark that off your checklist. You likely have your recommendations done. You probably have picked out your wardrobe and are just finishing up assembling your rush bag. What else is there to do?

Well, you have to wait, of course, but while you wait, there are some things you can do:

  • Shore up your wardrobe. Yes, you have a few dresses for rush, but depending on the school you are attending, you might need/want more than one dress per round. At The University of Alabama, for example, Philanthropy Round takes place over three days. You won’t know your schedule until everything gets started, so right now, you don’t know if you’ll have parties on one day, two days, or all three days. It’s best to be prepared for all three days. Sure, you can wear the same shorts/skirt to all three days of Philanthropy Round, but what if you sweat a lot in it? Will you want to wear it again? What if you spill something on it? Same for Sisterhood Round: if it takes place over two days, can you wear the same dress both days? Yes. Do you really want to? There’s still time to purchase another dress or two if you think you need it. Just remember, it’s hot in the south in August! Amazon has some cute dresses at these links:
    • Smocked Mini Dress. Y’all this inexpensive dress comes in several colors. I love all of them! They’re great for those really hot game days too! Priced under $30, these are adorable! See them here.
    • Love Shack Fancy. I know lots of girls love their Love Shack Fancy dresses. Get their cute Russ dress here. It’s pricy, but it’s cute!
    • One shoulder dress. Pretty Garden has an adorable one-shoulder tiered dress in several colors for under $50. Check it out here.
    • Another one-shoulder dress that resembles Love Shack Fancy, in my opinion. It also comes in lots of colors and is less than $50. See it here.
    • Amanda Uprichard dresses. Amanda Uprichard makes lots of great dresses for rush. See a selection here.
    • Belle Maison Collective. This boutique is out of Huntsville, Alabama, and they have some great options for rush…dresses, shoes, skirts, and shorts. Take a peek here.
    • Revolve. Check revolve.com for some great dress deals, since they have put a lot of seasonal items on sale! Click here.
    • Shopbop. Another great resource is shopbop.com. Click here.
    • Zara. At our house, we love Zara. Click here to see what they have.
  • Pick shoes. When picking which shoes you want to wear with which outfit during rush, remember you don’t need to be uncomfortable. If your feet are hurting throughout the process, you won’t feel your best, and likely won’t project your best self. This is not the time to try a new pair of stilettos. Also, don’t forget to have some comfy slippers/Crocs/flip flops in your Rush Bag, so you can wear them between parties.
  • Accessorize. It’s important to accessorize but not over-accessorize. Understated elegance is best…pearl earrings, small gold hoops, etc.
  • Rush Bag. Don’t forget to put together a Rush bag to help you freshen up between parties in weather so hot it feels like the surface of the sun! To see what you need for the bag, click here.

It’s almost time! So exciting! When my daughter went through the recruitment process last year, she made some great memories!

by Kelly Mattei

Making Memories

Making memories.

Yesterday, my daughter and I returned home from a trip to the Bahamas. We went with my college friend and her daughter. Our daughters were born about 17 months apart; her daughter is 21, and mine is almost 20. Our girls go to the same college and have been friends since they were born, but it had been a while since we had vacationed together. It was time to make new memories.

And we did.

Our friends flew out of Atlanta, and we flew out of Charlotte, so we all met at the hotel. My daughter and I arrived several hours late, but it was fine, because we got there safely, and we got there in time for dinner.

We had all sorts of plans for making special memories. We just knew we would celebrate our birthdays each night at the different restaurants where we had reservations. We thought we would likely spend some time on the beach drinking cocktails out of coconuts or pineapples. Oh, we had plans…but we were flexible.

And nothing happened the way we thought it would. In fact, the things we are most likely to remember were completely unplanned…just like always. Sure, we enjoyed our planned dinner on the first night. We even celebrated my friend’s daughter’s birthday. We also overate, so when the staff came out singing Happy Birthday, we didn’t even want dessert. We enjoyed the fountain light show. We spent time in the casino. We made new friends. Lots of the time, the girls did their own thing while we (the moms) just lounged by/in the pool all day. At 56, I’m just not good about baking in the sun for hours in tropical weather. Give me a cocktail and a pool instead…so that’s where we spent our days. The girls found a more “happening” pool (no old people!) to spend their days, and we were so glad they were having fun and making memories together.

We canceled two of our dinner reservations, because the girls made other plans. We (the moms) didn’t mind one bit. And on the last full day, the girls hung out with us in our pool cabana and in the pool. I think they were tired from the day before. We made some great memories laughing in the pool and chatting over cocktails with our girls, since they are both of legal drinking age in the Bahamas.

But the funniest memory we made on the whole trip was completely unplanned…and it was a doozy! In fact, I’m guessing I don’t know many people who can say they share this memory. Lots of people can say they have visited the Bahamas. Lots of people can say they dined at the restaurants and spent time in the casinos. Lots of people can say they met interesting people on vacation. Lots of people can say they got lots of rest or stayed out all night.

How many people can say their taxi ran out of gas on the way back to the airport in Nassau?

Well, we can! We hopped in a cab at the resort, and about five minutes later, the car swerved a little. Then it swerved again. I looked at my daughter, who was sitting next to me in the back seat. She looked confused too. And then our taxi driver said, “I think we are having a fuel problem.” A fuel problem? Like running out of gas?!?! Yep…she got us off the road just in time to run out of gas. The driver hopped out and started trying to flag down other cars, and my friend’s daughter looked at the dash. She said, “All the lights on the dash are on! Should we get out of the car? Or does that just mean we ran out of gas? Is that what happens when you run out of gas?” I replied, “I don’t know! I’ve never run out of gas!” We all laughed. My brain was working, and I knew, if all else failed, I could call my friend who works at the Nassau airport, and she could send a taxi for us, but our driver flagged one down pretty quickly. Crisis averted.

We got out of the taxi and loaded our bags in the other taxi, and we were on our way. The original taxi driver was with us, and she was apologizing profusely. I told her not to worry…we had just made a new memory!

And you know what? It’s true. We will likely remember running out of gas on the way to the airport for the rest of our lives.

Sometimes, a minor crisis becomes a funny memory, and that’s what happened here.

by Kelly Mattei

Buy Personal Items on Prime Day

Buy personal items on Prime Day!

Lots of people don’t think about purchasing personal items on Amazon, but I do, and there are some great deals to be had. Here are some ideas:

  • Deodorant/anti-perspirant. Just go look. I’m not kidding…lots of deals to be had! You know you’re going to be using deodorant every day of your life! Get it while the prices are hot! Lots of different brands are offered! Check them out here. My personal favorite is 30% off here.
  • Sunscreen. If you’re like me, you’ll be using sunscreen every day, but you hate paying for it, so stock up while the prices are better! Amazon has some great Prime Day deals on sunscreens…even Sun Bum and Neutrogena. See them here.
  • Toothpaste. There are some great deals on toothpaste, something you are always going to use. See them here.
  • Blood pressure monitors. Stay on top of your heart health by having a blood pressure monitor at home. I have one and use it every day. Lots are on sale here.
  • Flonase Nasal Spray. Y’all know how expensive this is. When I was stocking my daughter’s medicine box for college last year, I rang up quite a bill! Get this while it’s priced about 20% off! Today only! Get it here. Or if you’re OK with the Amazon brand, it’s a little less here.
  • Ibuprofen. 500-count Ibuprofen tablets for under $9?!?! Yes, please! Get them here.
  • Acetaminophen. 500-count Acetaminophen tablets for under $12? You don’t have to tell me twice! Get them here.
  • L’Oreal Telescopic Mascara. My daughter made me try this. I don’t usually like drugstore brand mascaras, but I love this one! It doesn’t smear, and it dries…doesn’t feel sticky. I just ordered four of them. Regularly about $13, they’re under $8 today only! Get it here.
  • It Cosmetics. I love their Your Skin But Better foundation, and I love their makeup brushes too! In fact, I love lots of their products. They are all discounted on Prime Day today only! Get them here.
  • Ugg Fluffette Slippers. My daughter wears hers all the time. She’s getting a new pair to take to college but doesn’t know it…shhh! I just paid under $80 for them, and they’re normally about $110. See them here.

***I’ll publish more deals later!***

by Kelly Mattei

More Great Prime Day Deals!

More great Prime Day deals! Get them now…today!

  • Ring doorbell. There are some insanely good deals on Ring Doorbells at Prime today! Wow! If you don’t have one, now is the time to get it! One model that’s normally $100 is now $55…that’s 45% off! See it here. Another one, that’s wired with ring chime, is normally $79, but is going for $49.99…that’s 38% off! See it here. And the All-New Ring Battery Doorbell Plus, regularly priced at $ 179.99 is now $129.99, a savings of 28%. See it here. Or see all the Ring doorbell offerings here. The ones marked with red “Prime Day Deal” are the ones on sale.
  • Apple Airpods (2nd gen). Normally $129, these are now $89.99 on Amazon Prime…today only, since it’s a Prime Day Deal! Go get them here.
  • Black and Decker Dustbuster. Save 33% on the Black and Decker Dustbuster today only…marked down from $60 to $40! Have a student going to college? They need this! Or maybe you just need one around the house. Take advantage of this deal here.
  • Ruggable. Y’all have heard of Ruggable rugs…washable rugs with great designs! All their rugs are discounted on Prime Day! Get one or more today for dorm rooms, kitchens, bedrooms, hallways…get them now for discounted prices! Get this deal here.
  • Nordictrack Treadmill. In the market for a quality treadmill at a discounted price? Get a Nordictrack one at Prime Days…that means TODAY! Normally $800, it’s now $600…that’s 25% off. Get it now here.
  • Saucony Sneakers. Need new sneakers or running shoes? Lots of Saucony styles are on sale…some are regularly $130 and are being sold for less that $40!!! This is your chance to get some quality sneaks for a great price! See them here.
  • Luggage. Need new luggage? There are all kinds of crazy deals for Prime Day here. Save money by getting it now and use it on that last trip of the summer! My friend bought some yesterday for a trip next week!

*See my posts from yesterday for more great deals here and here and here.

***Keep checking back! I’ll post more deals as I see them!***

by Kelly Mattei

More Prime Day Deals

More Prime Day deals…

  • Lifestraw Deals. I’ve written about how awesome Lifestraw is before. The original straws filter water of microorganisms. I’ve seen someone drink out of a muddy river with a Lifestraw…and had clean water. They also make great cups and even pitchers now. See the great Lifestraw Prime Day deals here. They are great for camping, international travel, hikes, etc.
  • Oral B Charcoal Toothbrushes. I love these toothbrushes! Normally close to $15 for four, they are under $12 for a pack of four on Prime Days. See them here. I’m stocking up.
  • Dawn Dish Soap and sponge bundle…30% off! You’ll always use dish soap. Stock up now! See it here.
  • Febreze Air Freshener. Get the deal on a three-pack by clicking here. Since it’s under $12, get three or four of them!
  • Laundry supplies. You just have to see these for yourself. Amazon has lots of Prime Day deals on laundry supplies. Maybe get some for your college student and yourself! See the deals here.
  • Kitchen deals. There are tons of kitchen deals to be had. If you need to outfit a kitchen for a college student’s apartment or suite, this is the time to do it. See the deals here.
  • Crocs. Crocs are great for the pool, the beach, and they make great shower shoes for college students. Get up to 40% off some Crocs styles and 30% off others. See the deals here.
  • Massage Gun. I found a massage gun that is regularly about $200…priced for about $45 on Prime Days! If you’re in the market for a massage gun (this could help my sciatica!), get it here.

****More later! I’m posting them as I find them!****

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush Deals on Amazon Prime Days

Sorority rush deals on Amazon Prime Days.

Amazon Prime Days are here, so it’s a great time to scoop up some of the deals on things you can use for sorority recruitment!

  • Rush Bag. You know that rush bag you need to hold the essentials for hot days in recruitment in the south? There are some great deals on bags that would be great. One great nylon deal is here. Or maybe you prefer neoprene? Click here.
  • Dresses. If you still need to add some dresses to your recruitment lineup, there are some great Amanda Uprichard dresses offered on Prime Days here. See some BB Dakota Prime deals here. Or for great variety, check out Shopbop’s Amazon Prime offerings. We love Shopbop, and I especially love that I can shop them through Amazon. They also have great shoes for rush! click here. Also, don’t forget you’ll likely need a swimsuit right after recruitment for your pledge retreat!
  • Comfy shoes. Last year, when my daughter participated in recruitment at Alabama, she had some comfy shoes to slip on her feet between parties. For a great deal through Prime Days on some, click here. My daughter wore her Ugg slippers. Fluffettes are on sale for Prime Day for $80 (reg $110) here. Or maybe some Crocs? They have tons of Crocs with Prime Day deals here.
  • Rush bag essentials. Band-Aids for those blistered heels? Click here. There are some great Prime deals on Neosporin to treat those blisters here. Prime Day deals on Motrin and Tylenol for that Rush Bag here. Prime Day deals on travel size hand sanitizer here. Get your handheld fan at a deep discount here. And a great deal on a travel/folding umbrella to fit in your rush bag here. If you think you won’t need that umbrella in the south, you’re wrong. Just do it.
  • Small charger for your bag. Get a Prime deal on one here.
  • Velvet hangers. Hang your lovely rush dresses on velvet hangers to keep them from slipping off the hanger, and also to conserve room in your tiny dorm closet. There’s a Prime deal here.

I’ll keep posting more deals as I find them! Get busy shopping!