Author / Kelly Mattei

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Posts by Kelly Mattei

I grew up in Alabama but have lived in Charlotte, NC, for more than 25 years...longer than I've ever lived any other one place. Growing up, we moved a few times, so when people ask where I’m from, I just say Alabama, even though I have lived in three other states. I have been married for 25 years, and we have one daughter, who has one year of college left. We love being parents, but we also love empty-nesting. We enjoy traveling, star-gazing, walking, and sunshine. I worked in the travel business for 11 years, and I’m always looking for the next place to visit, but interestingly, I don’t like going where everyone else is going. If everyone else is going to Italy or Greece, no thanks. I’d rather go to Latin America or somewhere in the US I haven’t seen before. I’ve never liked doing what everyone else is doing! I have visited 40 states and would love to visit all 50. I also consider myself a “connector.” I like helping people know other people. No, not for money…for fun.
by Kelly Mattei

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

Tape a banana peel to your forehead and call me in the morning.

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Have you ever gone to bed in a dark room for a couple days? Wanted to pull out all your teeth? Had visions of cutting a block out of the side of your own skull? Ever sat at your desk holding your fist firmly against one eyebrow? If you’ve had a migraine, chances are you’ve done at least one of these things or something similar.

When I was younger and had more frequent migraines, there were days I would sit and think about the pressure relief I could get if I could just cut a block out of my skull. It just seemed that if I could make a little more room for my brain, the pain would stop. I wasn’t willing to go to that extreme to get rid of a migraine, but I did some kooky stuff.

If you have migraines, you understand the pain I’m talking about. If you have been fortunate enough to never have migraines, it’s likely you know someone who does, and the pain is real. It’s something you can never understand if you haven’t experienced it, but you can empathize.

I started getting migraines when I was 22 years old. I still remember my first one. I was visiting a friend when suddenly one side of my head HURT. I told my friend I needed to go home and drove myself the 25 minutes to my house. FIRST, do not do that. *If you are experiencing the worst headache you’ve ever experienced, call your doctor or go to the ER. It can be a sign of something very serious.*

When I was a little girl, my mother had migraines but called them “sick headaches,” an accurate description since they do make the sufferer feel sick. Medication options were limited. I’m sure there were doctors who prescribed valium or “tranquilizers,” as people called them back then, but she had children to take care of, so she was afraid to take anything that might impair her ability to do that. Even when I was 22, options were limited. I suffered for eight years before getting a medication that worked.

banana-peel-1329335-639x406In those eight years, I would try anything anyone suggested. Over-the -counter pain relievers? Check. Tape a banana peel to my forehead? Check. Put my feet in a warm bath while icing my head? Check. Ice pack on my wrists/neck? Check. Drink warm water with cayenne pepper? Check. Acupuncture? Check. Magnesium and riboflavin supplements? Check.

Some of these things might have helped a little, but as soon as I pulled the tape off that banana peel, I felt worse. (That’s a joke; the banana peel didn’t help at all, but I did try it.)

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When I turned 30, I went to a new doctor who prescribed a relatively new drug, a vasoconstrictor. My life changed. As soon as I felt a migraine coming on, I would take a tablet, and it worked…for a while. After that, there were other meds that worked, but I seemed to build up a resistance to them. Eventually, I did find one that has continued to work for me (knock wood).

One thing that helped me along the way was to figure out what triggered my migraines. Of course, lots of them were hormonal. However, some were triggered by things I could control: alcohol, sun glare, flashing lights, loud music, sudden noises, sugar, sourdough bread, caffeine, lack of caffeine, fumes, wine, lack of sleep, hunger, MSG, Aspartame…it’s crazy. Others were triggered by weather. Barometric pressure change? Migraine. (You can check the migraine index on accuweather.com for virtually any city.) The first trimester of pregnancy was the worst with migraines, because they were terrible, and I couldn’t take medication for them. (Miraculously, after the first trimester, I didn’t have any more migraines during pregnancy.) It’s important for you to isolate what triggers your migraines, but it’s not always easy. Keep a food/migraine diary for 30 days and see if you can find some links.

For me, making a few small changes helped. I started wearing sunglasses anytime I stepped outdoors in sunlight, decreasing the risk of glare. When I go to a restaurant, I never face the window; I can’t risk the glare. Instead of bourbon (my favorite), I started drinking vodka, because I didn’t get migraines when I drank it instead (I generally have only one or two alcoholic beverages a week, tops.) I would drink Prosecco instead of Champagne or wine, but as I’ve gotten older, I’m able to drink those too.

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Something that seemed to make a big change in the frequency of migraines was spinach. Who knew? I added more spinach to my diet, and within a month, I noticed fewer migraines! But it’s not just spinach; any green vegetable seems to help, so I try to eat as much broccoli and spinach as I can.

As for the hormonal migraines, my doctor prescribed birth control pills and suggested I skip the placebos and go right into the next active pills. I’m not saying this would work for everyone, but it did decrease the frequency of my migraines tremendously. ***ALWAYS CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR…I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL***

If you suffer with migraines, you will need to find your own triggers, but you might find some of my triggers are the same as yours.

Interestingly, lack of caffeine and too much caffeine are both triggers for me, but moderate caffeine can actually help. If I feel a migraine coming on, I take my medicine and follow it with a little caffeine in the form of a small cup of coffee or tea. A moderate amount of caffeine seems to make the medication work a little more quickly for me.

I still get the occasional migraine, but now that I’m 50, they are much less frequent (knock wood), so look to the future! My mother and my doctors had always told me they would likely decrease in frequency and severity as I got older, and they were right. So, there are some benefits to getting older. Actually, there are lots of benefits to getting older, but that’s another post.

If your friends or family members suffer from migraines, please remember, their pain is real. If you are the one suffering, I’m sorry. I truly feel your pain. I’ve spent days in bed in   the dark. I’ve never loved to hear other people are suffering, but it was always comforting to know other people understood what I was feeling. I have a friends who suffer from migraines as well, so it’s a common topic of conversation. Talk with your doctor about your pain.

In the meantime, tape a banana peel to your forehead and call me in the morning.

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by Kelly Mattei

UPDATE: Maine Attractions list

Many of you who read about my trips to Maine with Wendy have asked about some of the places listed that we used to visit (and plan to visit again). Here is some info:

BOSTON’S NORTH END:  The North End is Boston’s own Little Italy. You can find info here. While you’re there, get a sandwich at Pauli’s (click here for info). Follow it up with a cannoli like no other from Mike’s Pastry (click here for info). ***Little story about Pauli’s: I was at a soccer tournament in Raleigh a few years ago and heard a man asked where he could find a Dunkin Donuts. Recognizing his Boston brogue, I offered directions and began chatting with him. Turns out he was Pauli from Pauli’s Sandwiches. He won’t remember me, but stop in anyway.***

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NUBBLE LIGHTHOUSE, MAINE: Located in York, Maine, this beautiful lighthouse is a great photo op from the rocks. You’ve likely seen pictures of it lots of times but didn’t know what it was called. Get more info here.

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The Desert of Maine

DESERT OF MAINE: Wendy thought I was utterly nuts when I suggested we visit The Desert of Maine, but we all learned a lot and had a lot of fun! It’s worth a visit. Get info here.

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YORK’S WILD KINGDOM: If you like old school theme parks like I do, this is a great place to visit. With lots of rides you’ll remember from childhood and a large petting zoo (including elephant rides!), this is a fun stop. Get info here.

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LUCKY CATCH PORTLAND: Lucky Catch lobstering cruises are offered from Portland, Maine, and last a couple hours. It’s a great way to learn how lobsters are caught and banded. You can even do it yourself! More info here.

BIG DADDY’S ICE CREAM: Located in Wells, Maine, this ice cream shop is old school. It’s a great place to stop, night or day, and they offer generous servings. *We once ran into someone we knew from Charlotte there!* More info here.

THE BIG INDIAN: In Freeport, Maine, this Big Indian stands 30 feet tall and is a fun photo op. I forced the kids to wake up from a nap one afternoon just to get a photo. Good times! More info here.

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RENY’S: Reny’s (A Maine Adventure) is a discount store chain headquartered in Maine. Personally, it’s one of my very favorite plundering places. One year, when we were flying home from Maine, I was waiting for our flight in the Boston airport and I saw Mr. Reny’s obituary. I called Wendy to tell her he had died, and she said, “He probably had a heart attack when he heard his best customer was leaving the state.” All joking aside, it’s a fun place to find some good deals! More info here.

***Thank you all for reading about and praying for my Wendy. And thanks for your interest in some of our favorite spots in Maine. If you like Kelly Mattei’s Favorite Things, please invite your friends to like the page.***

 

by Kelly Mattei

My Favorite Baby Gifts

My daughter is 14 years old. In the years she has been alive, I’ve seen baby gear and gift options change tremendously. When my daughter was born, baby swings were one size fits all, but now, companies offer swings for newborn and then, larger swings for when they get a little bigger. Frankly, I was thankful for the swing(s) I had, but we would have loved to have had a smaller one when she was a newborn.

There are lots more gift options out there too. I never think of giving equipment/gear as baby gifts, but the older I get, the more I’ve had to take my time looking at options for gifts. When I was younger, I had more friends having babies, so I knew what was out there and where to get it. I had some definite go-to gifts that I loved to give, but times have changed.

In hopes of saving you the time it takes to track down the perfect gift, I’m offering a few suggestions of my favorite baby gifts of 2018, which are a lot different than what I would have found in 2003. The gifts I’m recommending are for guests who are not related to the new mother. Sometimes, relatives like to give the big equipment-type gifts (strollers/bouncers/swings).

Here are my favorite baby gifts of 2018 (for now!). You could give one of these individually, or you might choose to group some of them.

MILLYMOOK and DOZER SUNHATS: When my daughter was an infant, options were limited on sunhats, and we needed them! We love to spend time outdoors, and while I was able to find them for her, I never had one as great as the Millymook Sunhat. These sunhats are available for girls 0 to 5 years and offer UPF50+ sun protection.  If I’d had a Millymook Sunhat for my daughter, I would have always known she was protected from the sun. They are made of cotton and most come with a removable chin strap. Some are even reversible, like getting two hats in one! The boys equivalent is the Dozer Sunhat…same manufacturer, same premise. They offer adorable prints. You can purchase them at Amazon here. Prices start at $12.95.

BABY BLANKETS: I’m a sucker for a quality baby blanket…always have been. In fact, I feel pretty sure I still have all my daughter’s baby blankets in a trunk in the attic. First, they’re always useful when you have an infant. Plus, baby blankets are cute! I’ve seen this Royal Hippo Baby Blanket for girls at several different retailers, most recently at Crate and Barrel. Who knew? This particular blanket is a pink/cream crochet blanket and is super soft with a little weight. It’s 100 percent cotton, making it perfect for baby. Priced at $59, it would make a lovely shower gift on its own. You can purchase them here. For boys, I love the Little Giraffe Powder Plush Baby Blanket, which is priced at $46. It’s made of dual sided faux fur with a satin border that will last forever. You can purchase here.

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Royal Hippo Baby Blanket

MIRACLE BLANKET SWADDLE: If they made swaddle blankets when my daughter was born, no one told me. I had to do it the old-fashioned way, and I was not always successful, which is why my baby spent a lot of time sleeping in a swing. I could put her in that swing and swaddle the blankets around her. Clearly, I was challenged. If I’d had these Miracle Blanket Swaddles, my life would have been so much easier! I’ve spokenwith friends who’ve had babies more recently, and they all agree this is a great brand. Priced at $29.95, they will be greatly appreciated as shower gifts. You can purchase them at Amazon here.

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MOMMY SNACK BASKET: This is one of those things I discovered after having a baby. I never would have thought to do this until someone did it for me. We came home from the hospital with our beautiful baby girl, and soon thereafter, a friend stopped by with a basket full of snacks for me. At first, it seemed odd, but then I understood! I found myself grabbing snacks out of that gigantic basket for weeks, simply because I was so tired I needed snacks to keep me going. Ever since, I’ve given Mommy Snack Baskets when friends have had babies. You don’t have to use a basket; you can use a tote bag or cute bucket and fill it with nonperishable items. Here are some of the things I’ve put in them: snack crackers, bagged popcorn, granola bars, pistachios, trail mix, potato chips, pretzels, small boxes of cereal, dried fruit (blueberries, bananas, etc) and yes, I always add some real junk like candy bars and other sweets. A tired new mommy needs all the fuel she can get. If you don’t have time to put together your own or don’t live near the recipient, you can “build your own” at giftbasket.com here.

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TRUMPETTE BABY SOCKS: These have been around for a while, but they just keep getting better! I think they started with socks that looked like Mary Jane shoes, but now the line has expanded. These were a great baby gift for me. Since I had a girl, someone gave me the Mary Jane style, but they now have so many more styles, including ballerina socks, hero socks, dock shoe socks, and much more. With prices starting at $15, these make a great gift. My daughter wore the Mary Jane style socks with lots of outfits as an infant, and since there were lots of colors, we could match them to whatever she was wearing. To purchase, click here.

 

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NOODLE AND BOO STARTER KIT: According to their website, Noodle and Boo was started by a new mother when she wanted products for babies with sensitive skin.  “Working with professionals who specialize in natural, holistic skin care each exclusive formula is developed to nourish, replenish and protect especially delicate and sensitive skin.” The result is exceptional products, including baby wash, baby hair care products, laundry products, and gift sets. They offer a wide selection of gift sets. Prices start at $9.50 for sensitive skin baby wipes, and gift bundle sets start at $24. To purchase, click here.

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Noodle & Boo Starter Set $38

DIAPERS: Diapers always make a great baby gift. In fact, moms appreciate it any time someone drops off diapers. And that includes cloth diapers, even if the family uses disposable diapers. Our daughter wore disposable diapers, but we used cloth diapers for so many other things…wiping up messes, burping, and great to keep in diaper bags for any use. If a family is using disposable diapers, they can never have too many. They may not realize it before baby is born, but they will go through LOTS of diapers before potty training happens. The Honest Company makes a great Diaper Cake that makes a great gift for anyone. It includes 92 diapers, shampoo and body wash, lotion, all-purpose balm, bubble bath, 50 laundry packs, 1 pack 72-count wipes, and 2 packs 10-count wipes. The price, at $124, is a little steep, but this could be a joint gift from several people. Their mini diaper cake, priced at $39, includes 35 diapers and travel-size baby care products. To check out their offerings, click here.

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The Honest Company Diaper Cake


BABY MONTH MILESTONE BLANKET: I’ve found a seller on Etsy that offers the Baby Month Milestone Blanket, and I think it’s a great gift idea. Priced at $36, this item can be personalized, and it is a great way to chart baby’s growth in the first year. It is offered in different fabrics and designs. They are made of fleece and made-to-order. There are lots of different options for the same type blanket on Amazon, but this one is personalized and well-made. You can contact the seller by clicking here.

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Baby Month Milestone Blanket

 

SARA KETY BODYSUITS: I found these little cuties in Nordstrom, and they are adorable. These cotton snapsuits have cute catchphrases for boys and girls, and priced at $20, they are priced right. I would give one of these with a cute set of matching socks or a small plush toy. Some of the different designs are pictured below, featuring various designs and catchphrases. You can see the various designs and purchase online from Nordstrom here

 

 

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TIFFANY BABY

Personally, I never get tired of looking at baby gifts at Tiffany.com. You can see the assortment here. Their baby gifts start at $125 for various piggy banks, which make lovely baby gifts. My daughter still has several in her room that we were given at her baby shower. For $135, they also offer three-piece baby sets…plate, cup, bowl. Right now, I see two in the catalog I love…pictured below. And for the extravagant baby gift, they have a lovely baby blanket, which is priced at $450. If I purchased that, though, I’d have trouble parting with it…wool and cashmere…it’s beautiful.

Tiffany Baby Blanket $450

From all these suggestions, it should be easy to find the perfect gift for the new mother and baby in your life. I’ve included gifts ranging in price from $9.50 to $450.   I have always loved shopping for baby gifts…they are ever-changing, and they just keep getting better! Frankly, when I was expecting, I would have loved to receive a giant basket full of all these gifts!

Happy shopping!

Kelly

If you enjoy reading Kelly Mattei’s Favorite Things, please share with your friends on Facebook, and invite your friends to like/follow the page! Thank you!

 

 

 

 

 

by Kelly Mattei

Bloom Where You’re Planted

We always hear people say, “Follow your passion,” or “Follow your dreams.” I saw a video by Mike Rowe recently in which he questioned that, and I totally get it. See the video here.

If you watched the video, you heard him say lots of people have “passion” about something, but no talent for it. There are lots of people whose pursuit of their passion or dream failed, because they had not talent (or skills or knowledge).

My favorite part of the video is when he says, “Your happiness on the job has very little to do with the work itself.” And he’s correct. I really believe we can find happiness in places we never believed we could. I’m a big fan of “Love the one you’re with,” which I interpret as “find the good where you are.” I have a friend I’ve heard say, “Bloom where you’re planted,” which basically means the same thing to me.

Happiness is not always where we expect it. Haven’t we all firmly believed we wanted something, and when we got it, we realized it was all wrong? (“Be careful what you wish for.”) On the other hand, sometimes, we find ourselves somewhere we think isn’t a good fit…maybe a college or a position on a team…in reality, we often find it’s the best thing for us. Maybe we should, as Mike Rowe says, “Follow the opportunity.”

There are some people who possess passion, talent, knowledge, drive, plans, and more passion for what they want to do, and some of them can turn that into income.

As a child, in Spanish Fort, Alabama, I had a sweet, smart, adorable friend named Michelle Prouty. (She is now Michelle Prouty Johns.)

Unbeknownst to me at the time, she was immensely talented.

Michelle’s mother is a prolific gardener, and Michelle shares the same love of plants and gardening.

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MICHELLE PROUTY JOHNS

Michelle tells me she doesn’t remember a time that she wasn’t interested in gardening, “so it must have started at a very early age.”

Her dad owned a manufacturers’ rep agency in Mobile but decided, when Michelle was five, that he also wanted to be a part-time farmer. Purchasing ten acres, he moved the family, and started his vegetable farm. Her mother had flower beds and containers on the back deck, and Michelle helped with all of it. Michelle says they never had trouble getting her to help. Her exact words: “It wasn’t a chore to me.”

And there you have it. A passion was born.

Her mother taught her to plant seeds and propagate plants, and when the family left the farm and moved to my neighborhood, Spanish Fort Estates, her dad built a greenhouse, which she considered her “own private play house.” She says she loved going in there during the winter. “There was nothing better than being in there in the winter when it was full of my Mom’s plants, many of which bloomed through the winter.”

I remember going back to a community festival at Spanish Fort School in spring of 1978. There was Michelle, a fifth grader, with her own booth at the festival, selling her plants. It made quite an impression on me. She was tending that booth all day while other kids were doing whatever they wanted. But she was doing what she wanted…taking care of her plants, talking with folks about gardening, and selling the fruits of her labor.

Looking at all that hands-on gardening experience she had, one might think she would have pursued a Horticulture degree when she attended Auburn University, but she didn’t. She says, “I questioned my father many years ago on why they did not push me to look at horticulture as a career, and he said they didn’t know anyone who worked in the field, so it wasn’t really on their radar.” But…sometimes things work out the way they’re supposed to. She went on to get her Marketing and Statistics degrees, which have been helpful…as she pursues her dream.

And this is where it gets really good.

After working with her dad and working in outside sales for a company in Tampa, one year ago, Michelle opened her own retail garden center in Fairhope, Alabama. The perfect piece of land came available, and she seized the opportunity. She is the proud owner of Corner Copia Gardens Nursery and Garden Shoppe. You can see the Corner Copia Gardens Facebook page here and their Instagram page here. She opened the gardens in 2015 and opened the retail garden center in March 2017. Corner Copia Gardens Nursery and Garden Shoppe just celebrated its first anniversary.

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Michelle says her business goal is to carry a “unique variety” of plants that are difficult to find in “big box stores” and will do well in the area. She also wants to offer advice to local gardeners and is offering educational classes. Follow the Facebook page for Corner Copia Gardens to see which classes are being offered and when. (Again, the facebook page can be found here.)

 

 

Michelle named her business after some gift shops her mother had called The Corner Copia. According to Michelle, “While she did not sell plants, she carried many garden-themed gifts in her shops.” Michelle got her mother’s permission to use the name, adding “Gardens” and slightly modifying the logo.

Corner Copia Gardens is the realization of a dream.

Michelle says it has been her dream for at least 25 years…since soon after college.

It has not been without challenges. A particularly cold winter in Fairhope has been tougher than expected, but she says she has learned what it takes “to keep them (two 24′ x 100′ greenhouses) heated with 20 nights below freezing and down into the teens.”

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Another challenge has been the fact that business is seasonal, but Michelle made adjustments. Because business is seasonal, she needed to find a way to keep income flowing so her employees could work all year, so she added a small gift shop and is growing her live plant floral business, with hopes to begin making deliveries this spring. I’ve seen pictures on the facebook page of some of the gift shop offerings, and it’s exciting!

 

Easter Decor is arriving!
In the garden shop: airplant jellies!

The greatest thing about this, to me, is that Michelle found a way to channel all her life experiences into pursuing her dream. She knew it was something she wanted to do, but she did other things that gave her the ability and lots of valuable knowledge when the opportunity came along. She takes everything she has learned along the way from her parents, her career in business, her education, and her life as a mom (she and her husband have five children between them)…channeling it into her business, sharing her knowledge and passion along the way.

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Succulent head planters. I love these! I also think they would make lovely Easter gifts.

So, while Mike Rowe questions whether folks should follow their dreams, I know some should do just that…even if they have to get there by following opportunity first. Maybe I should say, “Follow opportunity to get to your dreams/passion.” That’s what Michelle did, and it’s working. She has always had a kind, engaging way about her, so I’m sure people love visiting her gardens and shop, and they love attending her classes. I can hardly wait to visit when I’m in Baldwin County!

If you are in Baldwin County, Alabama, stop in at Corner Copia Gardens. If you live in the area, stop in and see her…maybe take one of her classes. You’ll be glad you did. She would enjoy seeing you. She says her greatest joy is when customers come in and tell her how well their plants are doing or when someone sends her photos of arrangements they have made. As she says, “For me, it really isn’t work at all!”

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Now, if only I could find a way to make money by remembering birthdays, talking, connecting people, or harassing people into volunteering for stuff…

Kelly

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON CORNER COPIA GARDENS:

Corner Copia Gardens 

11983 E State Hwy 104

Fairhope, AL 36532

PHONE: 251-517-0453

 

In the garden shop: airplant jellies!
Succulent birdhouse (class offered)
by Kelly Mattei

My Favorite Road Trip, Part 1…and favorite car entertainment

If you’re lucky, there will be families like the ones we met, and your kids will leave their electronics in the wigwam while they play on the playground, run through the misting station, play games on the sidewalk, and share s’mores with new friends.

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Road trips. Spring break is fast approaching, meaning lots of families will load up their cars and set out on an adventure. Lots of people know I believe experiences are far more valuable than things, and I love making memories with my daughter.

In summer 2015, my daughter and I loaded up in a Ford Expedition with my friend, Mary Ann, and her three kids. Two adults and four kids…in a Ford Expedition…for 10 days. It was incredible.

We refer to our 2015 trip as the Epic Road Trip. I was the driver; Mary Ann was the navigator. Today’s post is about the first part of the trip. I’ll have some future posts about other parts later.

We loaded the car with entertainment, hoping to keep mayhem to a minimum. We started with I Spy Road Game, something adults and kids could play and enjoy. We broke up into teams. Mary Ann and I were a team…a very competitive team…the kids didn’t stand a chance. You can purchase it at Amazon here. It’s playing cards with pictures of objects you can see riding down the road. The player who collects the most cards wins. We also played the License Plate game collectively, trying to see how many different state license plates we could see. You can purchase boards for it at Amazon here. Mary Ann loaded her phone with lots of silly Ray Stevens songs before we left, so we had some goofy music to listen to…the kids were especially amused.

It’s essential everyone stays hydrated, so we had small bottles of water. Kids drink whatever is provided, so big bottles were off limits…too many stops afterward. We didn’t have snacks…too much mess for a long road trip, and Mary Ann I didn’t want to spend our time cleaning out the car at each stop. We would all eat together whenever we stopped…and we tried foods or restaurants we couldn’t experience in Alabama or North Carolina.

Don’t forget hand sanitizer, baby wipes, and garbage bags. A fun hand sanitizer I’ve mentioned before is Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer…kids will remember to use it just because of the name. You can purchase it here. Baby wipes are good for any small cleanups. Garbage bags are essential in the car for a number of things…water bottles, paper scraps, used tissues and/or baby wipes, carsickness, and they can be used for dirty clothes.

From Charlotte we drove to Gatlinburg, Tennessee and spent a couple nights before going on to Cave City, Kentucky, home of Mammoth Cave National Park (for more info click here) and Wigwam Village #2 (for info click here). In the early 1900s, seven Wigwam Villages were built across the US. Three remain: one in California, one in Arizona, and this one, which was completed in 1937.

We were going to sleep in a Wigwam.

We arrived in Cave City mid-afternoon. As we approached Wigwam Village, Mary Ann and I got excited. My daughter, however, was apprehensive. She took one look and said, “Mom, please! Can’t we just go sit in the wigwam and sleep in a hotel?” From the road, it was obvious the wigwams had seen better days, but we were determined.

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It was a night we will never forget.

Wigwam Village #2 is set up as a semicircle of white wigwams with a big wigwam at the road serving as the office/gift shop. The open area in the center of the semicircle is a grassy playground with monkey bars and other equipment, plus a misting station.

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We checked in, got our REAL keys (not key cards), parked between our wigwams, and unpacked. We had wigwams #7 and #8, the middle ones. The wigwams are concrete (see photos) with window unit air conditioners and aren’t particularly spacious. They have what seems to be the original louvered doors, and inside, the beds are clearly “antiques.” The bathrooms are basic, but the water pressure in our shower was amazing. However, because of the way the village is set up, we didn’t spend much time in the wigwams, except for sleeping and getting dressed.

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Soon after we checked in, other families began arriving. The family in the wigwam next to us had a daughter about the same age as our kids. Two wigwams down, a lady and her husband checked in with their grandson.

The children played for a while on the playground, and then we decided to check out an old theme park nearby, previously known as Guntown Mountain, but renamed Funtown Mountain by new owners. Sadly, the park was still undergoing repairs, so the only things open were a gift shop and the Haunted Hotel, both at the front of the park.

We visited the gift shop first. It was filled with old toys and a few new things, but mostly, it was junk.

We decided to take a chance on the Haunted Hotel and purchased tickets in the gift shop. At the entrance (see photo), a young man took our tickets. I was the last of our group to enter, and as I handed him my ticket, he said, “Have fun. This is the oldest haunted house in Kentucky, and it ain’t never caught on fire or nothin’.” I thought nothing of it and went inside.11709620_10207224665599785_9102713117535772104_n

We quickly learned it was in disrepair. No special effects were working, and the deeper we went, the passageways became more narrow and darker. It was at this point I started thinking about what the guy had said, and all I could think was “fire, fire, FIRE.”

We were trying to find our way in a dark, narrow hallway, and all I could think was, “If this thing catches on fire, we don’t have a chance.” Right then, I HAD TO GET OUT. I won’t go into detail about the language I used, but we had our phones out trying to provide enough light to GET OUT NOW. Finally, my daughter found an emergency exit, pushed it open, and we all rushed outside into eight inches of mud, but frankly, I DID NOT CARE. Panic over.

*Side note: one week after our visit, “Funtown Mountain” and its Haunted Hotel were condemned. I guess my fears were warranted. Afterward, the owner destroyed the gift shop. See a news clip from 2015 here. 

When we got back to the wigwams, our new friends were sitting outside and making s’mores over a grill. Children were playing on the playground and running through the misting station. Our kids joined them.

When it got too dark to play, Mary Ann’s kids brought out Beanboozled, a jelly bean game with good flavors (tutti fruity, fresh pear, coconut) and nasty flavors (sweaty socks, vomit, dead fish) that look alike, but you have to chew them to find out which one you have (more info here). The children gathered around and played for an hour or so on the sidewalk while we visited with new friends.

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When it was time to turn in, my daughter was still begging me to take her to a “real” hotel. She wasn’t sure about sleeping in a wigwam. John, the grandfather of one of the kids, assured her he would hear if anything happened, and he’d get there fast. His wigwam was two doors down from ours, and our other new friends were next door, while Mary Ann and her kids were staying on the other side of us. Before turning in, we went to Mary Ann’s wigwam to wait till midnight, so we could celebrate her 40th birthday at midnight. She turned 40 in a wigwam. We sang and called it a night.

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My daughter and I returned to our wigwam and slept remarkably well.

The next morning, we were surprisingly sad to say goodbye to our new friends. We felt as if we’d stepped back in time for 24 hours. It was a brief journey to a simpler time. If you decide to visit Wigwam Village #2, know in advance it’s not a luxurious experience, but if the people are half as nice as the people we met, you’ll have a great time. More info here.

While I can’t guarantee you’ll have the same incredible experience we had at Wigwam Village #2, it’s worth a visit. If you’re lucky, there will be families like the ones we met, and your kids will leave their electronics in the wigwam while they play on the playground, run through the misting station, play games on the sidewalk, and share s’mores with new friends.

What we learned is that sleeping in a wigwam isn’t just about the wigwam. It’s about the experience of spending time with new people in a simple place.

Our trip continued to Louisville, then through Indiana to Chicago, before driving east through Indiana and Michigan to Sandusky, Ohio. We detoured through one small town in Pennsylvania on our way from Ohio to North Carolina, but that is for a later post.

While so many parts of the Epic Road Trip of 2015 were special (more posts later), we loved Wigwam Village #2 so much, it deserved a post all its own.

Happy trails,

Kelly

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by Kelly Mattei

My not-so-superpower

There was a time I had excellent vision. I could see anything up close, far away…I almost thought of it as my superpower. And then I turned 40.

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The decline in my eyesight was the first clue that I really was, in fact, growing older. I realized I am not the Bionic Woman (her superpower was her hearing). I realized I am going to age just like the rest of the population. I have no superpower. Well, maybe I do, but it’s not my eyesight. (We’ll get to my superpower on another day.)

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I still see things far away really well, but I started needing “readers,” or eyeglasses for reading things up close, in my early 40s. I would purchase the cute little drugstore readers and get them out of my handbag any time I needed them. But then, I realized I could never find them when I needed them, so I started walking around with them pushed down on the bridge of my nose.

That changed when my daughter said, “Mom, you look like a grandma.” There’s nothing wrong with being a grandma, if you ARE a grandma, but I’m not. And I certainly wasn’t a grandma in my early 40s. I had a small child, for goodness sake!

I’ve seen lots of people who wear their readers pushed up high on their noses, but I don’t know how they walk around! I do not need to be looking through a magnifying glass for distance vision.

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I found a website a few years ago that, at the time, I thought had the perfect readers for me. Bifocal readers…clear on top with magnification in the bifocal lens on bottom. Turns out, they were cheaply made, and they were always breaking or the cheap lenses were scratching.

A few months ago, I was visiting my mother and broke the only pair of cheap bifocal readers I had with me. There is a Walgreen’s near her house, so I went to “the corner of happy and healthy” in search of some new readers.

I was in luck. They had some glasses on sale…buy one get one 50% off, and the original price was only $34.95/pair. These particular glasses were on a Foster Grant end cap. They were advertised as computer glasses. I had no idea what that meant, but the discount  lured me in. I was going to investigate.

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What I read was that they were multi-focus glasses, meaning the bottom part of the lens is for reading, the middle for computer work, and the top for interacting. There is a blue blocker in the lens, so it reduces the strain on your eyes from computer work. Here is where I need to add the fine print: “ready-to-wear non-prescription glasses are not intended to replace prescribed corrective lenses or examiniations by an eye care professional. Continous eye check-ups are necessary to determine your eye health status and vision needs.”

Since there was a “buy one get one 50% off” deal, I purchased two. The frames on both are bigger than I usually like, but I needed some glasses immediately!

My friend, Angela, and I had dinner plans that night, so I went back to Mother’s, where I changed clothes, and drove to pick up Angela. We have been friends for more than 30 years…since college. I once had a boyfriend who hated being in the same room with the two of us, because he said, “Y’all talk without talking. It’s weird…like you can read each other’s minds.” Of course, we thought that was hilarious, and we have laughed about it ever since. Our friendship lasted, but that boyfriend is ancient history.

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Turns out he might have been right! When I arrived at Angela’s, she met me at the door. We hugged, and then she backed up and said, “We have the same glasses!” Indeed, we did! Serendipity? Extrasensory perception? When we got in the car, we took a selfie, and I posted it on Instagram, and then we laughed and laughed again at that old boyfriend and what he had said. Maybe we have the superpower of ESP! The fact that she had the same pair made me like the glasses more; I guess I think she’s a Cool Kid, so the glasses must be OK.

“Who’s that behind those Foster Grants?” Some of you will remember that ad campaign from the 60s and 70s. The funny thing about these Foster Grants is that I purchased them in a BOGO deal, and I get compliments all…the…time! A few nights ago, I was at dinner with my teenage daughter, and we ran into some friends. One of them said she and another friend had been talking about my great glasses! What?! My Foster Grants? My daughter said, “You get compliments on those glasses ALL THE TIME!” It’s true!

I know…I keep talking about how they look. Well, they work well too. First, the construction seems to be good quality, and the lenses definitely don’t scratch as easily as the others I used. Also, I’ve noticed a big difference in eye strain when using the computer, so I guess they actually do what they’re designed to do!

So, I’m giving y’all the scoop. Want some great multi-focus glasses? These are awesome. You can purchase them directly from Foster Grant here, or you can purchase them on Amazon here. They offer lots of different styles, but for me, the style that receives the most compliments is called the Conan, and it  appears (today) to be sold out on the Foster Grant site, but it’s still available on Amazon. It’s a bigger frame than I usually buy, but I love them. Angela likes hers too. I had to wear them for a day before I became accustomed to the “multi-focus” lens, but that’s all it took.

So yes, they are my new favorite glasses. As for my superpower…I could tell you, but I’m saving that for another post.

What’s YOUR superpower?

Kelly

by Kelly Mattei

Bluebird of Happiness

When I was cleaning out my mother’s house in January (she died December 30), I came across three little glass bluebirds…one was a little bigger than the other two…like a mother and two babies.

I realized those bluebirds had been on a side table in her living room for a long time, but I’d never asked her about them. You know how you see something a million times but never bother to find out about it?

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For the first time ever, I picked them up. I turned them over and there was a sticker on the larger one that said “Bluebird of Happiness” and the telephone number of an art studio. I knew they didn’t have any monetary value, but now that I couldn’t ask Mother, I was wondering what kind of sentimental value they had for her. Where did she get them? I felt sure someone had given them to her, so I put them in a little Ziploc bag and brought them home to Charlotte with me.

I placed them on top of a mirrored  box in my bathroom, so I’ve seen them every day for about a month, but earlier this week, I decided to investigate and find out who gave Mother the bluebirds.

The first text I sent was to an old family friend who lives in Florida. She and Mother became friends in 1961, when they were both working at Sunland Center in Marianna, Florida. Mother was a nurse, and this friend, Cynthia, worked in Activities, I believe. For whatever reason, they became great friends. In fact, Cynthia says Mother inspired her and encouraged her to become a nurse too. She did, and she continued her education to become a nurse anesthetist…and she gives Mother much of the credit.

Promptly, I received a text back from Cynthia telling me she had given mother the little bluebirds. She said she didn’t need them back but that she would like to have a memento to keep near Mother’s picture in her room. I texted back, “Let me mail them to you.” So they should be delivered to her right away. Now, every time she looks at the Bluebirds of Happiness, she will think of Mother.

When I was growing up, Cynthia was like a “cool aunt.” She was a little younger than my parents, and she always liked to have fun. My parents liked to have fun too, but Cynthia liked to have fun while driving a cute, little Triumph convertible. Parents didn’t drive Triumph convertibles. But Cynthia had one, and when she visited, I got to ride in it…with the top down!

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In fact, Cynthia was so trusted by my parents that she was our designated guardian if something had happened to them while we were minors. They knew she would love us as her own, and we would love her too. We have great family, but they all have children of their own. Cynthia didn’t have children.

Of course, now I want my own Bluebirds of Happiness, so I looked at the bottom of them again and got the telephone number for that art studio. As it turns out, it’s a studio called Terra Studios in Fayetteville, Arkansas, and according to their website, they are the “home of the Bluebirds of Happiness.” They also have the Pink Birds of Hope, Wise Owls, and Grace & Gratitude Angels…Mother would have loved those too.

Apparently, these sweet creations are quite popular, and the proceeds from the sale of the birds goes toward “using art to create a better world.” After looking at the website, I’d love to visit Terra Studios, where they have a coffee shop, glass demonstrations, American arts and crafts, and they are a popular Northwest Arkansas tourist attraction. Now, I’ll need to plan a trip.

So, Ive ordered some Bluebirds of Happiness…a mama and two babies for myself…and then I ordered more. According to the Terra Studios website, “the lovely, plump, sweet singing Bluebird has inspired more songs and poems than any other bird.” Terra Studios offers different sizes and variations of the Bluebirds of Happiness, the Pink Birds of Hope (offering hope to cancer survivors), Wise Owls, and Grace & Gratitude Angels…and the prices are right. I think they make lovely gifts. In fact, I think the bluebirds would make lovely hostess gifts. With Easter just around the corner, you might consider adding the bluebirds, pink bird, or angels to an Easter basket. The Wise Owls would make great little additions to graduation gifts or favors for a graduation tea. You can purchase the Bluebirds of Happiness with Amazon Prime free shipping here. Other items can be purchased directly from Terra Studios here.

Interestingly, on the same day I picked up the Bluebirds of Happiness at Mother’s, I was going through some papers and found a certificate naming my maternal grandfather a member of the North American Bluebird Society. Who knew? I had no idea there was such a society, and I certainly wouldn’t have thought my grandfather would be a member. I know he and my mother loved birds, but it never occurred to me he loved them enough to send in money. Having come through the Depression with some liquidity, he wasn’t free with his money. I love knowing he found bluebirds to be a worthy cause. I was so intrigued by his membership that I checked out their website and found it fascinating. If you’re interested in the North American Bluebird Society, you can see their websitehere.

So I guess bluebirds are a thing in my family. If you see me wearing a lot of blue in the next few months, you’ll know why. And if I see you and think you’re feeling “blue,” I may just give YOU a little Bluebird of Happiness to cheer you up.

As soon as my new Bluebirds of Happiness arrive, I will place them on the mirrored  box in my bathroom, so I can see them every single day and think of Mother and Cynthia. I’ll save the extras for  friends who need “a ray of light,” as mentioned in the song, Bluebird of Happiness.

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by Kelly Mattei

My Favorite Things for a Girls’ Weekend

I have a husband, a teenage daughter, and three dogs. I love them. I love spending time with them. I also love when my husband leaves town for a few days. I know…it sounds terrible, but sometimes, it’s fun to miss him! When he is out of town, I love to have friends visit.

When I have a friend or friends visit, my daughter will spend a little time with us, but mostly, she wants to carry on her social life. So once she goes to a friend’s house, we have “girl time,”even though we are 50+. Chances are, we won’t even leave the house.

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No kids? No husband? Friends in town? What to do? Every situation is different, but I will share some ideas of things we have done in the past. I’ve included lots of links!

*FAVORS I am all about some favors. If you plan ahead, you can give each guest a goody bag on arrival with some small take-home trinkets for the weekend. I think it’s fun to give them on the front end, especially if they can be used on during the weekend. Whether I’m getting together with one friend or seven friends, it’s fun to have some favors to offer. Custom T-SHIRTS are fun. When I gathered with some friends to bike the Virginia Creeper Trail, I had t-shirts made that said “Got Brakes?” and included the date and location on the back. I ordered everyone size XL, because I know they won’t wear them in public…best for sleeping or lounging at home. You can have custom t-shirts made through Zazzle (click here) or Cafe Press (click here). Some of the items I’ve listed in previous blogs are great for goody bags: 1818Farms Shea Creme (click here or order from Amazon here), Dry Divas Shower Caps (on sale at Neiman Marcus, click here), or some cute little, custom bags from Collective’s Etsy shop. I have one friend who loves candy (see photo below), so when she is in town, I always have some of her favorite candies: Zotz, Spree, Twizzlers, Skittles, and even Fruit by the Foot. (She eats healthy almost all the time, so it’s OK to splurge.)

*WHAT TO WATCH Old friend gatherings mean lots of talking, but it can also mean binge-watching favorite shows or watching favorite movies. As I posted on Instagram before, one binge-worthy show is an Amazon Original, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. They have streamed one season; watch now and be ready when the next season starts. It’s a funny, smart, heartwarming dramedy, and the aesthetics are incredible! It’s about a young, Jewish housewife, Midge Maisel, living on the Upper West Side of Manhattan in the 1950s. The opening scene is a shocking toast at Midge and Joel’s wedding, and then jumps ahead four years…they have two kids and live in a lovely apartment in the same building as her parents. Midge, like many women of her time, builds her life around her husband. All is well till things take a bad turn, and we see how Midge copes. It’s a must see for the storyline and fashion, a time when ladies dressed like ladies. I was mesmerized by every episode. It’s definitely binge-worthy, and I wish I had watched it with one of my college friends. I’d be willing to re-watch it. Eight episodes, and the first season is captivating from beginning to end. (Warning: language and nudity.) (It has been nominated for and won numerous awards, including two Golden Globes.) To watch, click here.

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**If you’ve seen The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and want something new, my next binge-watch will be UnREAL on Lifetime. The third season just started, so I want to catch up on the first two (you can do this online through Lifetime). Kelly Ripa talked about it, and it sounds awesome. It’s a drama, and according to IMDb, it’s “a behind-the-scenes look at the chaos surrounding the production of a dating competition program.” One of the creators is a former associate producer of ABC’s The Bachelor, so maybe there’s some truth behind this fiction!**

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**If binge-watching TV isn’t your thing, maybe pick a movie. Bridesmaids is hilarious, if you want comedy. For something more serious…Sense and Sensibility (click here to watch on Amazon) and The Joy Luck Club (click here to watch on Amazon) are two of my all-time favorite chick flicks. Even though I’ve read both books more than once and seen both movies countless times, I get emotional every time. Another great movie to watch with friends is …”Snap out of it!” To see it on Amazon, click here.**

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*WHAT TO DRINK When friends are staying for the weekend, I like to serve a fun beverage. I’m not a big drinker, but when I drink, I want it to feel like a celebration. Nothing says celebration like some bubbly. Champagne is good, but I prefer Prosecco, because it doesn’t give me headaches. For daytime, I enjoy Peach Bellinis, and there’s no Bellini like a Cipriani Bellini. The original Peach Bellini was served at Harry’s Bar in Venice, Italy, which is owned by the Cipriani family.  Pick your Prosecco, and if you want an authentic Bellini, order the mix from the Cipriani family here. If you do not want to mix your own, Trader Joe’s has the Secco Peach Bellini for $5.99, and it’s good! (I call it a “Bellini in a bottle”) This is my second choice, and it’s less expensive and easier! They also offers mango and cherry Secco Bellinis.

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*For nonalcoholic Bellinis, pair the Cipriani mix with Sprite.* **If you don’t like Bellinis or peach flavor, add a splash of Chambord Liqueur to your Prosecco…gives it a lovely red hue and raspberry flavor.**

*WHAT TO USE This is not so much something to “do” as it is something to “use.” I’m hoping to receive some lovely Cornet Barcelona Sagrada Champagne Flutes soon. My friend, Debe, recently told me about the beautiful line. According to the Cornet Barcelona website, “The dream of our company is to create more beauty and excitement so that those around us can be inspired and feel as though life is truly a gift.” Each piece is hand painted “in hues reminiscent of the world-renowned Sagrada Familia Basilica in Barcelona, Spain,” according to the site. They’re beautiful filled with bubbly Champagne, Prosecco, or a Bellini, and their price point is surprisingly good. Their flutes are handmade, so they are not always available, but I recently heard from a representative of Cornet Barcelona that they will be releasing more Sagrada Champagne Flutes in March and April. To see the Cornet Barcelona line, click here. These are items you can keep at home for visiting friends.

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*WHAT TO EAT What we eat depends on the guest, and some friends love to go out. If my friend, Angela, comes to town, she wants to stay in and spend the entire visit catching up. There are some great, simple recipes in Lisa Lillien’s latest book, Hungry Girl Clean and Obsessed. A couple of my favorites are the Beefed-Up Cheesy Mac on pg. 140, and the Love at First Bite Lasagna on pg 128; both are easy to make and taste great. (Purchase at Amazon here.) I am a believer in Hungry Girl. You can access recipes on her website too, by clicking here.. Or we might order some favorites through Goldbely in advance: Coca-Cola Cake from Jestine’s in Charleston, or the Southern Mac and Cheese from Loveless Cafe in Nashville. I’ve mentioned Goldbely before, but it’s worthy of another mention. Check out their offerings by clicking here. Don’t forget dessert!

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*WHAT TO WEAR I’m a fan of pajamas of any kind. When friends come to visit for a “stay in girls’ weekend,” I like to stay in pajamas or super soft loungewear. The softest PJs and loungewear I’ve found are from Barefoot Dreams (pictured below). For a long time, I only knew of Barefoot Dreams as a company that made supersoft baby blankets and sleepers. I recently discovered they have a fabulous adult line. My very favorite PJs they offer are the Luxe Milk Jersey Piped Pajama Set. Priced at $130 on their website, they aren’t cheap, but if you can spare the $$$ on PJs, they’re worth it. I also love their loungewear. Purchase them here. If you don’t want to spend that much, the Life is Good line is offering their Teacups Pajama Set on sale for $24.99, and they are well-made, comfy pajamas. You can’t go wrong with this brand, and this is a crazy good deal. To purchase, click here.

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When hosting an old friend (or friends), the main thing is to enjoy each other’s company. So invite a friend for a visit, share some Bellinis, eat some comfort food, and watch the entire first season of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Relax, catch up, and enjoy!

Cheers!

Kelly

Some of the playgroup moms
by Kelly Mattei

Why Write Now?

 

“I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.”

–Anne Frank

Yesterday, it occurred to me that it has been two months since my mother died. I remember when Daddy died, when things would happen, I would think, “And Daddy’s missing this.” Now I’m doing the same thing, “Mother’s missing this.”

I started my website/blog about a month ago…a month after Mother died. I find myself wondering what she would think. She loved to read blogs on Facebook…especially Sean of The South by Sean Deitrich. If you haven’t read his blog, you should. You can find it on facebook here.

Looking back at my posts, I know which ones she would have enjoyed. She’d have loved the one about Sunflowers, for sure, but she would be especially happy about My Favorite Rescue. Of course, that story could not have happened if she were still with us. I like to think she is smiling in Heaven about her dog’s homecoming. I know Sam (the dog) misses Mother, but she sure is happy to be home, and she loves living with my nephew. Thank goodness my brother agreed to bring her home.

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Mother loved stories, and she loved to laugh, so she would love any of my blog entries that made her laugh. Pee in my shoes during the kindergarten play? She would have remembered it, and she would have laughed out loud about it.

The story about the cute waiter in Boone would have made her smile. She always rooted for the underdog. We would have discussed that one a hundred times by now, as each of us made up different stories about what might have happened to Ricky. Did his day get better? Did he marry the out-of-his-league girl? Is he traveling the world, leaving great tips for servers everywhere he goes? The possibilities are endless.

What I find myself wondering, though, is WHY did I start my blog after Mother died?! WHY didn’t I start it sooner? She would have given me honest feedback, so why did I wait?! I had wanted to do a blog for a long time, but I was hesitant. Why now?

Maybe I was afraid of her honest feedback. Maybe that’s why I waited.

Well, here’s what I think: I used to talk to Mother every day…mostly in the car, because that was the only time I was alone and could actually converse without interruption
(except my husband has some sort of phone radar and ALWAYS calls when I’m on the phone…Mother and I used to laugh about it). I can’t talk with her anymore. I think this blog started as a coping mechanism. Writing, for whatever reason, helps me deal with grief. That’s what I think. I just realized that yesterday as I sat down in front of my laptop again. I’m channeling some of the conversations I would have had with Mother into this blog.

Daddy and Mother sitting outside on a chilly day in 2006.

When Daddy died in 2006, I didn’t cope well at all. I was younger, of course, and while I’d lost grandparents, losing Daddy was huge. Oh, I struggled. Thank God I had good friends and family around who helped me. My daughter was almost three when Daddy died, and I was 39. Fortunately for me, I had some great friends and family, near and far, and we had the very best playgroup ever. They were the people with whom I had daily interaction after coming home from Daddy’s funeral.

Our playgroup was full of kids about my daughter’s age, and all the moms were in their late 30s. We were a hodgepodge group from all over the country. Lots of states were represented: Alabama, South Carolina, Virginia, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Maryland…we were all different, but  we rallied around each other. In talking with my friend, Jenn, recently, we laughed about our playgroup, because it was really for the moms. The kids got to have REAL unstructured playtime, because for the most part, they were free ranging wherever we were. People talk about how kids don’t get to have unstructured playtime anymore; well, ours did. My daughter is an only child, so I feel like those friends in the early years of playgroup felt like siblings to her, so she experienced that to some extent.

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Most of the time, we were at Wendy’s house, because it was most kid-friendly, and frankly, Wendy can cook. Jenn can cook really well too, but back then, Wendy always had something on the stove or in the oven. Her mother is Italian…from the North End in Boston…real Italian…she can cook. So while our kids played, the moms gathered in the kitchen and talked and sampled dinner. Recently, Jenn and I laughed about just how unstructured the kids’ play was. Usually, they were in a playroom, while the moms were gathered in another room. If anything happened, one of the kids would come get us.

I think the loss of my daddy was one of the first big crises we had experienced together as a group of friends. My coping skills were less than great, but my friends rallied and got me through it. I remember being at Wendy’s house one day soon after he died. Jenn was there too. I’d had a headache for DAYS. They talked to me about the stress I was dealing with and sent me upstairs to bed…in Wendy’s house…before noon. They fed me and my family, and they helped ME.

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Playgroup moms, children, and a couple of aunts and grandparents gathered for Halloween Birthday Party for Wendy’s dad. I dressed as Hester Prynne.

We’ve been through a lot together. One mom suffered a late miscarriage before Daddy died. Several members of our group moved away. A few have survived divorces. One lost her mother to ALS. Some of their husbands lost their jobs during the financial crisis in 2008/2009. One almost died from an allergic reaction at lunch with me in California Pizza Kitchen. My husband had two brain surgeries. One studied for and passed the NC State Bar Exam. We got all our kids enrolled in school…some at public, some at private. Broken bones. Surgeries for children. Sleep issues. And one friend from our group has battled cancer for years, but she is one tough chick. She moved away years ago, but we wish she were in Charlotte, so we could help her. Fortunately, she has a very supportive family in Boston, but we miss all of them in Charlotte. We are all still friends, and those of us who remain in Charlotte still try to get together with the kids a few times a year, and every time, the kids are thrilled to be together.

I’m fortunate to have great friends in Charlotte and elsewhere…lots of friends who recently sent me cards, letters, and food when Mother died, and friends who called or visited. I have friends who have listened to me cry and tell story after story. I have friends who came to the hospital and sat with me and held my hand, and I have friends who honored Mother’s memory by placing her cup of Bailey’s and coffee on the bar when a group of us gathered. I have friends who know when to stop by for a cup of coffee. People are kind. Every single person and every single gesture has been a part of learning to face life without my Mother.

So maybe I’m writing to cope. I have a degree in journalism, and I’ve always enjoyed writing, but I haven’t been doing a lot of writing in the past few years. I know Mother would be proud that I’m doing something related to that degree she and Daddy financed.

If you enjoy the blog/website, please invite friends to read it. So far, I’ve loved sharing ideas for different things, and I’ve laughed (and cried!) while telling stories. Grief after Mother’s death led me here.

Mother would be proud that I’m writing and proud that I’m coping.

Thank you for helping me cope.

Kelly

NEXT POST, WEDNESDAY: Fun provisions for a stay-in weekend with a friend or friends.

Mother and I, probably 1974
My last photo with Mother, November 2017
by Kelly Mattei

The Best Party Favor Ever

“Spring is the time of plans and projects.” –Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

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Ahhhh….Springtime. Well, it’s not here yet, but it soon will be, so if you’re planning to host a birthday party, brunch, shower, graduation tea, or wedding, it’s time to consider party favors.  A lot of preparation goes into hosting an event, and there are lots of options for party favors out there.

In talking with friends over the years as they planned their weddings, their children’s weddings, and various parties and showers, finding the perfect “takeaway” or favor can be a stressor. You want it to match your theme…possibly customize it…but you don’t want to break the bank, and you don’t want guests to throw it away before they make it home with it. Yes, I’ve done that. I love my friends, but frankly, I have nowhere in my house to keep a handpainted rock bearing their names and wedding date, and the chocolate candy bar in the customized label melted before we got home (but I did lick the wrapper clean). That customized glass with your names and wedding dates on it? It broke in my luggage (sadly).

Originally, when I first started writing about this, I was going to write about my three favorite party favors, but after looking at all the different possibilities, I realized I don’t have three favorites. I have one.

So, stop with the stuff that melts, the stuff that’s useless, the stuff that gets thrown away before it leaves the event, and the stuff that breaks. Here is your perfect party or wedding favor…the party favor that makes everyone happy…the party favor no one wants to throw away…the party favor that is actually useful:

MISS SHELLEY’S SOUTHERN JAMS AND JELLIES

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This is my very favorite favor ever! It’s customizable. It’s pretty. It’s memorable. Most importantly…it’s delicious, and no one will want to throw it away. I want to host parties all spring just so I can give these to all my friends! So, you know in advance that if you come to my house for a shower or brunch, you will be leaving with something from this line. These jams and jellies have been featured in InStyle Magazine, and no joke…delicious!

A friend from my flight attendant training days (a lifetime ago), Michelle, started Miss Shelley’s Southern Jams and Jellies after she retired from United Airlines, and she is having great success. Michelle is a southern girl through and through, so she and her husband moved from sunny California to Lafayette, Georgia, near her family in Chattanooga. I’m proud of her, and I love her products. Not only does she offer jams and jellies, but she also offers flavored honey. The company facebook page says they sell “Rustic Artisan Jams & Jelly Flavors.” They are “small batch, hand stirred, and no preservatives.”  You can see their facebook page here.

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Here are the flavors I, personally, have tried: Peach Lavender Bellini Jam, Mixed Berry Cobbler Jam, Apple Pecan Pie Preserves, Strawberry Earl Grey Jam, Fire Island Peach Jam, and Blueberry Maple Jam…every…one…delicious. Don’t those flavors sound enticing? But that’s just a sampling of what they offer.

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My daughter had a friend over last weekend, and we did a “taste test.” The girls’ favorites were Peach Lavender Bellini Jam and Mixed Cobbler Jam, while my favorites were Apple Pecan Pie Preserves and Fire Island Peach Jam, which has a great peach flavor with a little “kick.” I’m all about the “kick”! The Apple Pecan Pie Preserves have little pieces of pecans in them. I wanted to lick the jar. All the flavors are tasty but not overpowering. Miss Shelley’s knows what they are doing.

We all agreed there wasn’t a bad one in the bunch, and it isn’t easy to please two fourteen-yr-old girls. My fourteen-yr-old is a connoisseur of jellies, and she gave every flavor two thumbs up. But it’s not just about the fabulous taste; the packaging is beautiful too, making it the perfect takeaway for any event.

What makes these jams and jellies even MORE special is that she will customize a label just for your occasion. You think of what you want the label to say and come up with a color scheme and theme, and the folks at Miss Shelley’s Southern Jams and Jellies will make it happen! She can even suggest designs if you give her a little information about your event. She has a magic touch.

For packaging, you can pick from shabby chic, elegant, chevron, pastels, Mason jars , and more, making these favors perfect for weddings, bridal showers, baby showers, birthday parties, graduation teas, or any event. Shower for a baby boy? Maybe pick the pastel blue gingham fabric topper. Spring brunch? Maybe yellow gingham fabric topper. Graduation tea? Maybe use some fabric in the school colors for a topper. Miss Shelley’s staff will work with you to provide exactly what you want. She even offers hand-stamped messages for toppers.

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Miss Shelley’s also offers flavored-infused honey, honey jars, and mini honey dippers to use with the honey. Everything is beautiful! Again, with the honey, packaging is customizable just as with the jams and jellies.IMG_0348

 

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I’ve perused her selection of products on her Etsy page a hundred times. Go check it out, and your mouth will water.

My friend, Debe, hosted an event last year and ordered some jams as a favor…before she knew I was friends with the owner, and she was thrilled…her guests were too!

If you have an event coming up (or even if you just like jams, jellies, and honey), do yourself a favor and check out her Etsy site: www.etsy.com/shop/southernjamsandjelly to see her offerings. She can handle big orders or small orders. I’ve included pictures of the beautiful packaging, and remember, the label can be customized for YOUR event. Tell her Kelly sent you!

This spring, if you’re hosting an event, do your guests a favor…

Kelly

***Always remember: if you like Kelly Mattei’s Favorite Things, like our Facebook page and invite your friends to like it too!***

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