Category / Bama rush

by Kelly Mattei

Don’t Sweat Fall Sorority Rush Yet

Don’t sweat fall sorority rush yet.

I have received three phone calls from worried friends this week. Their daughters are planning to participate in sorority rush in the fall at big southern schools, and they are worried they should be working on “rush stuff” right now. No. The answer is no. Let your daughter enjoy her senior year!

Mom, you can start thinking about the preparation, but there’s no need to be consumed by it. What can you do now? Look up which sororities have chapters at your daughter’s school. Start thinking of your friends who know your daughter; which ones were in sororities in college and would be willing and able to write recommendations for your daughter? Make a list in the notes on your phone. Or you can do like one of my friends and make a spreadsheet. I’m not Type A, so a spreadsheet was not my thing. I just made a list. Anytime you’re out and about and hear that someone is a member or alumna of a sorority, make a note of it in your phone.

If you’re thinking about hiring a rush consultant, that’s entirely up to you. We didn’t hire one for my daughter when she rushed, and she landed exactly where she wanted to be. I have lots of friends who have daughters who have rushed, and personally, I don’t know anyone who hired a consultant. And all my friends have daughters who are very happy with their rush choices. The hiring of a consultant is a personal choice.

Seriously, right now, just start compiling your recommendation list and having your daughter start working on her resumé. The girls cannot even make a complete resumé right now, because they don’t know what they’ll have to add before the end of the school year.

In May, have your daughter contact your friends who are sorority alumnae by phone, text, or email to ask them to write recommendations for her. This is something she needs to do herself, and she needs to ask people who actually know her. In a pinch, she can ask a friend of a friend. Recommendations are basically introductions of your daughter to the chapters, so she will want them to be able to write about her from personal knowledge. For example, when my neighbor’s daughter participated in “recruitment,” I was able to write a detailed recommendation/introduction of her, because I had first-hand knowledge of her personality and great attributes. Try to get recommendations to every chapter, and whatever you do, make sure your daughter does not say to any alumnae, “I’m only interested in sororities A, B, and C.” First, it sounds bad. Secondly, until rush begins, your daughter might think she knows what she likes, but she might change her mind. She also might not get invited to the ones she think she will.

You can start looking at dresses if you like. Spring dresses are coming out now, so it’s perfectly fine to start looking and even purchasing dresses she thinks she will wear. When shopping, look for fairly conservative dresses but not too conservative. Amanda Uprichard offers some great options at amandauprichard.com.

But right now, the main thing is to have rush in the back of your mind. Keep you ears and eyes open for people who can help with recommendations. Soak up every moment of senior year of high school, and enjoy having your daughter at home with you!

Here’s a rough timeline of preparation:

  • January-April: Find out which sororities have chapters on campus. Also, make a list/spreadsheet of sorority alumni who can write recommendations for your daughter. ***ALSO, make sure your daughter cleans up her social media…no alcohol or extreme photos.***
  • March-May: watch the university’s Panhellenic website to find out when registration is. At most southern universities, you can register for fall rush starting in May.
  • May-June: Your daughter can contact sorority alumni and ask for recommendations, telling them they will send their resumé soon.
  • June: create a resumé using the Canva app or another app. Distribute the resumé to the alumni who have agreed to write recommendations. Most sororities want digital recommendations now, so please don’t do old school “rush packets.” If you don’t know what that is, don’t worry about it…you don’t need to know.
  • July: make sure you have your rush wardrobe, and finish gathering everything for the “rush bag.” For more information on the rush bag, click here.
  • Late July/August: move her into her dorm and let the magic happen!

I will have posts later in the spring and summer with more information.

Mostly, relax. Don’t let your daughter get nervous about it.

***Over the next few days, I will be re-posting some posts about rush and preparation for it.***

by Kelly Mattei

Holiday Gifts for *Future* College Students

Holiday gifts for future college students.

If you know someone who will be off to college in the fall (or even in January), there are lots of gift options for them! A friend contacted me yesterday, asking me to compile a shopping list for those future college students. Knowing someone is going off to college can help make your holiday shopping easier, and you can help them prepare for what is ahead of them! First, you can check out my post about Holiday Gifts for College Students here. That post, however, doesn’t include a lot of the things they will need for a dorm as a freshman. Here are some ideas:

  • Laundry bags. If they’re living in a dorm, they’ll likely need to go down the hall or even to another floor to do laundry. Easiest way to transport that? A laundry backpack. Get a great one here.
  • Rush bag. If a girl on your list will be participating in sorority recruitment in January or in the fall, it’s OK for her to start preparing. A Rush bag is a necessity in the south. They can carry all the little things they’ll need between recruitment “parties.” The best bags are water resistant and have zipper closures. I found a great one at Amazon here. Add a bright-colored luggage tag, making her bag easy to identify here. To read more about what you can put into the bag for the future rushee, see my post about rush bags here.
  • Over the door hanging organizer. I was in a friend’s daughter’s room recently and noticed that she keeps all her jewelry in an over-door hanging organizer. What an awesome idea! The pockets are clear, so she can see each piece without even taking it out of the pocket, making it easy to find what she needs/wants. Purchase here.

  • Laundry cart. One of the greatest things ever, the Rubbermaid rolling laundry cart gets all kinds of jobs done, including moving into and out of dorm rooms! We also use one for pool towels, and anytime I have a lot of stuff to move around the house, I’ll use it. It’s commercial-grade and awesome. Our daughter is a sophomore, and when she moved into the sorority house this past fall, this is what the movers used to haul her stuff into the room. You might think you’ll only need it once, but since we got one, we use it all the time around the house. In fact, I really need one upstairs and one downstairs. Your future student will use it for moving, and will use it for gatherings…taking lots of things to parties. It folds when not in use. Get it here.
  • Moving bags. You’ve seen me recommend these many times. They’re sturdy and make moving easier. They can pack a lot of stuff in these bags. They can even use them for storage in a dorm room! Get them here.

  • Cosmetics organizer. College girls need cosmetics organizers, as their vanity space is usually pretty limited. My daughter preferred an acrylic one. Purchase it here.
  • Basketball. Lots of boys and even lots of girls will want to have a basketball on hand for pickup games, but make sure it’s an indoor/outdoor ball. For a good one at a great price, click here.
  • Light up basketball. For an extra gimmick or for courts where there are no lights, a light up basketball can be a lot of fun! Get one here.

  • Sunset lamp. My daughter had one freshman year, and loved it. They’re fun in dorms. Get one here.
  • Disco ball light. Much like the sunset lamp, these tend to be popular in freshman girl dorms. Get one here.
  • Trinket tray. For the little things on the nightstand. Boys and girls need these. I found one that is acrylic, so it won’t break easily, and the price is right. See it here.
  • Portable speaker. I cannot emphasize this enough. They need a portable bluetooth speaker. Get the JBL Flip 6 (the latest model) here. Or save a little money and get the Flip 5 (a slightly older model) here.

  • Yeti trunk/lockbox. A Yeti Go Box is a great place to store items in a dorm room or anywhere. It can also be used for camping trips. They come in three sizes, and while they’re not inexpensive, they’re built to last. Attach a lock, and you can secure valuables. See them here.

  • Yeti cooler. Since we’re talking about Yeti brand, we have to discuss coolers for college students. College boys need coolers, and they love the durability and quality of Yeti. It’s not so important for girls, but it’s important for boys. They are offered in lots of colors and sizes. Check out the Yeti cooler offerings here.
  • Keurig Coffee Maker. College students love coffee, but parents (like me) don’t like seeing charges at various coffee shops. Therefore, a Keurig single cup coffee maker is a great gift for a future college student. There are lots of different ones, but right (at writing), you can get a single cup Keurig coffee maker with a 36 ounce reservoir for just $50. Hurry. Get it here.

There you have it. Fifteen excellent gift ideas for ***future*** college students.

Happy Holiday Shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

Shopbop on Amazon

Shopbop on Amazon.

I love Shopbop. I have been shopping with Shopbop for years, and a few years ago, I was lucky enough to stumble upon a Shopbop pop-up shop in New York! “Shopbop pop-up shop”…wow, that’s a lot of bops and pops.

Until recently, though, I didn’t know I could shop Shopbop through Amazon to take advantage of my Amazon Prime benefits...free shipping and easy, peasy, Amazon returns! It’s true! Shopbop has an Amazon shop! You can see it and shop it here.

If you’re a fan of Shopbop already, you know how awesome their offerings are. If you’re not a fan of Shopbop, it’s high time you became one. They have the latest styles in apparel, beauty, and accessories from brands at lots of different price points, and they have great sales too! They even have a section of “under $200 fashion finds”! All of it…all of it…is listed on their Amazon site!

Need a dress for an upcoming event? Shopbop. Need something to wear to an athletic event? Shopbop. Want to freshen your wardrobe? Shopbop. Just want to surprise your college-age daughter with a new bracelet or handbag? Shopbop.

Check it all out here. And if you’re still looking for some dresses for sorority recruitment, check out their sales section for dresses like those shown below!

Happy Shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

When Sorority Rush is Over

When Sorority Rush is over.

When sorority rush starts, for the potential new members, it seems as though the week will never end. It’s a week of great fun for some and a week of misery for others…and some fall in between. If your daughter is participating in recruitment, here is something you should know: it will end, and it will be emotional.

No matter how it ends, it’s an emotional time…an emotional rollercoaster. They might be overjoyed. The excitement might be overwhelming! They might be sad. They might even be angry or embarrassed. But emotions definitely run high. Here’s something no one warned me about:

A couple of days after rush is over, almost everyone falls flat.

Last year, my daughter completed recruitment and pledged her favorite house as a freshman. She was thrilled. She was excited. For about two days, it was all she could talk about. And then, about 48 hours after pledging, she called me crying. No, she wasn’t disappointed with her choice. She was thrilled. She was simply feeling down in the dumps. At first, I wondered if it was homesickness, but then I realized it wasn’t that at all…she was simply having a “post-rush letdown.” That’s what I call it anyway. After being “courted” by sorority members during the recruitment process and all the excitement of Bid Day, everything else seems flat. If you’re mentally prepared for it, you know what it is, and you know what to do to fight the “blues.”

I wasn’t prepared for it last year. I’m normally really good about remembering my youth, but I had forgotten about the post-rush letdown, so when my daughter called, I was surprised for a minute…until I remembered. I listened to her tearfully tell me she was sad but didn’t know why. Then, I explained to her what was happening. I told her that what she was feeling was normal, because it is. That level of excitement and happiness she had during rush and on Bid Day simply can’t be sustained. She was bound to crash at some point. I told her to go for a walk in the sunshine. Sunshine helps. I also told her to find one of her new friends and invite her to go with her. Then, I suggested she go to her new sorority house and try to meet new friends. Maybe get some exercise with some of those new friends?

A couple of hours later, she called me sounding like her old self. In fact, she went so far as to cheerfully say, “I love it here!” I knew she had turned the corner, and it was a good thing, because I was on vacation in the Bahamas having a great time!

This year, she participated in rush as a member of a sorority. She was rushing new members all week. She was feeling the excitement again! And on Bid Day, she welcomed the girls she had worked so hard to recruit. She was absolutely thrilled! Fast forward 48 hours, and I received a call. “Mom, I don’t know why, but I’m feeling sad.” This time I knew the answer, “Oh, honey, you’re having post-rush letdown! Remember last year? Remember how 48 hours after it was over you had a little bout of sadness? It’s the same thing! The excitement is over and reality is setting in.” I suggested she get some exercise. Two hours later, she called me laughing and telling me a funny story about something that had happened. She had made it through the post-rush letdown again. I just hadn’t expected her to have the same feeling as a member, but she did, and next year, I will be ready to remind her that it’s going to happen.

Why am I telling you this? Moms, I want y’all to be prepared. And I want you to know that the post-rush letdown is a totally normal thing. That sad feeling will likely pass quickly if your daughter will get some exercise and make an effort to make some more new friends. It’s a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, but just know the sadness will go away with some good coaching from Mom! Stay positive, Mom!

You got this!

by Kelly Mattei

OK, Moms, It’s Sorority Rush Time

OK, moms, it’s sorority rush time!

Sorority rush (also known as recruitment) is getting underway at big schools all over the south. A couple of places have already finished, but lots are just getting started. I remember it well from last year, when our daughter participated in recruitment. Is it fun for the girls? For the most part, yes. Is it stressful for the girls? Sometimes, yes. But I discovered last year that it might be more stressful for the moms. It’s true.

First, let me say that most big, southern schools employ a method that ensures the greatest number of matches. Therefore, at most big schools in the south, the attrition rate during recruitment is relatively low, and girls dropping out on their own account for a large percentage of the attrition. For example, at one large southern school I’m familiar with, about 92% of the girls finish the process with a bid(invitation to join) from a sorority. Of the other 8%, most are people who dropped out on their own. Some had GPAs that didn’t meet the chapters’ requirements. It’s not like it was back in the 80s or even the 90s…girls aren’t just getting dropped left and right, all willy nilly, and at this particular school, no one gets dropped after Preference round, which is the last night of recruitment. If you make it to Preference, you are guaranteed a bid somewhere.

With that out of the way, let’s talk about how Mom feels during the process. Mom, you might feel stressed. You might feel numb. You might feel out-of-the-loop. You might feel helpless. And all of that is OK. You feel what you feel. It’s hard to be away from your daughter when she is going through something stressful. I was talking with a friend earlier, and we discussed what we would put in a Mom’s rush bag, if there were such a thing. Maybe you’ll want to create one from this list? You can keep it next to your favorite chair:

  • Aromatherapy Shower Steamers. Make your shower/bathroom feel like a spa with scents like lavender, rose, mint, and more! It’s relaxing. See them here.
  • Olly Sleep. If you’re having trouble sleeping, maybe some melatonin will help. I love Olly Sleep gummies. Check with your doctor before taking supplements. Purchase here.
  • Bath Pillow. A hot bath can be very relaxing, but only if you’re comfortable in your tub. A bath pillow can make a big difference. Get it from Amazon here.
  • Easy read. Throw yourself into a good book. If you want to read an easy-to-read novel about rush, there’s Rush by Lisa Patton at Amazon here.
  • Relaxing Face Mask. Forcing yourself to relax with a face mask is a great thing. I prefer ones containing lavender, but you might like others. Choose one here.
  • Favorite healthy snacks. I think every mom needs to have some healthy snacks handy, but especially when times are stressful. Drop some of your faves in your “mom rush bag.”

Last year, I had several friends whose daughters were participating in recruitment at the same time mine was. We would talk, and often, we had different stories to share. We didn’t tell each other which houses/chapters our daughters were visiting, but we did share anecdotes…like when one of our daughters almost walked out of her dorm and to a sorority houses wearing two different shoes. Another girl sat in gum between parties. We all shared some laughs, but if one mom cried, we all cried. If one mom was being particularly funny, we all laughed. Thank God we had each other to lean on.

The recruitment process is not easy. There’s so much anxiety…daily anxiety. Add in the pure exhaustion that comes from walking from house to house in summer heat. Add in the emotional exhaustion. It’s a lot. Plus, many of the girls are away from home for the first time.

But here’s one thing to remember when talking to your daughter:

Never let her see you sweat.

If your daughter calls you crying, resist the urge to jump into the pool of tears with her. It’s easy to dive right in there, but your daughter needs you to be strong for her. She needs you to be the voice of reason. Personally, at our house, if I can hold myself together, everyone else does too. So remember that if your daughter calls you crying one morning after receiving her invitations for a round, saying she got dropped by her very favorite house. Let her cry for a minute, but remind her that she needs to dry up those tears and put on a happy face for the next house. She needs to be reminded that the chapters that kept her really want her…they kept her for a reason. She needs to keep moving forward, and you might have to encourage her to do it. Tell her to take a deep breath and “pivot.” She’s going to be OK. (And you are too, Mom.) It might seem like her world is collapsing right now, but it’s not. This is just a blip on the radar. Remind her there are great girls in every chapter; it’s true.

There will be some girls who simply decide sorority life is not for them. Or maybe they just hate the process. Or maybe they have had enough. Whatever the reason, it’s OK to drop out of recruitment, but only after giving it a real effort. Don’t drop out on a whim. And if your daughter simply needs to drop out, you need to assure her that she has to make the best decision for herself.

As for maintaining your own sanity, a glass of wine could be your friend! Or some exercise. Or some sunshine. You got this, Mom.


by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush Conversations

Sorority rush conversations.

***I am not a sorority recruitment consultant.

Participating in sorority recruitment soon? You’ve probably wondered what people talk about when they go to rush parties. You aren’t being officially “interviewed.” It’s more of a conversation. There are lots of topics, but the main thing is you want to come across as likable, enthusiastic, and interested. How to do that? Here are some ideas:

  • Listen to your rush counselor. Above all else, listen to your rush counselor. They are well-trained.
  • Have some questions in mind. Here’s the deal: in most cases, the sorority member will get the conversation rolling. She isn’t going to be “interviewing” you. She is going to talk to you like one college girl talking to another. However, it is important that you are an active participant. Be prepared to answer questions about yourself. What’s your major? How did you pick this school? What do you like to do on weekends? To see more likely questions, click here. Those are all standard questions a sorority member could ask just to get the ball rolling. Usually, you can find a common topic through those questions. If it doesn’t happen, you need to have some questions of your own to ask…open-ended questions to get a conversation rolling. See a list of some here. Just have a few questions in mind, in case they ask you if you have questions, and in case there is a lull in conversation.
  • Answer enthusiastically. When a member asks you questions, do not answer with a simple “yes” or “no.” For example, if she asks if you’re enjoying recruitment, you might respond, “Yes! I’m having the best time! I love the girls in my rush group, and I feel like I’m meeting awesome new friends everywhere I turn!” If she asks what your major is, talk about it. “Right now, I’m majoring in biology. I’ve always loved science. I hear the biology classes are really hard here, but I’m excited to get started! What’s YOUR major?” Never, ever look bored at a party…always excited to be there. Sometimes, the girls in a chapter will gauge your interest based on the look on your face and body language, so even when you’re tired, muster up some enthusiasm!
  • Check their social media. Between parties, it’s OK to check the social media account of the next chapter you’re visiting. You might get some conversation topics. Maybe you see photos of the members’ summer activities. You can say, “Wow! I saw so many fun places y’all visited on your Instagram!” That could lead a member to talk about what she did over the summer. Or you could say, “I love the chapter Instagram account! The photos from your philanthropy event in the spring were awesome!” But make sure you know what you’re talking about and don’t mix up chapters.
  • Ask the member about herself. People love it when someone asks about them. Therefore, ask about the girl’s major, her interests, her hometown, her rush experience, her hobbies, etc.
  • Be engaged. Listen closely to what she says/asks. Don’t look around the room when you’re talking with a sorority member. Pay attention to what she is saying. Make eye contact. Smile.
  • Don’t talk about sensitive subjects. Do not discuss boys (boyfriends, swaps, etc), religion, politics, alcohol, or money (how much you have or don’t have, how much are dues, etc). Some people call it the Bs: boys, Bible, Biden, booze, bucks.
  • Be friendly and polite. Whether you are truly interested in the chapter or not, be friendly and polite. Remember, most sorority girls have friends in other chapters, and if you’re rude, they will tell their friends in other chapters. Word gets around. Also, always thank the girls. If you are talking with a girl and she hands you off to another one (you’ll usually talk to more than one girl during a party), thank each girl at the end of each conversation. It’s OK to say, “I enjoyed talking with you! Thank you!” Also, make sure to thank the girl who walks you out. Thanking someone is always a good idea.
  • Do NOT discuss other chapters with sorority members or with other PNMs. No one needs to know who dropped you. No one needs to know your favorites. No one needs to know which chapters you do or don’t want to join. Do not speak ill of any chapters or sorority members. Keep your preferences to yourself.

If Panhellenic at the school you’re attending publishes a recruitment guide, read it thoroughly. You are more likely to have a fun experience during recruitment if you are well-informed.

Most of all, enjoy the experience!

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush: Last Minute Items

Sorority Rush: Last Minute Items.

If you’re planning to participate in sorority recruitment in the fall at a southern school, you likely registered already. Mark that off your checklist. You likely have your recommendations done. You probably have picked out your wardrobe and are just finishing up assembling your rush bag. What else is there to do?

Well, you have to wait, of course, but while you wait, there are some things you can do:

  • Shore up your wardrobe. Yes, you have a few dresses for rush, but depending on the school you are attending, you might need/want more than one dress per round. At The University of Alabama, for example, Philanthropy Round takes place over three days. You won’t know your schedule until everything gets started, so right now, you don’t know if you’ll have parties on one day, two days, or all three days. It’s best to be prepared for all three days. Sure, you can wear the same shorts/skirt to all three days of Philanthropy Round, but what if you sweat a lot in it? Will you want to wear it again? What if you spill something on it? Same for Sisterhood Round: if it takes place over two days, can you wear the same dress both days? Yes. Do you really want to? There’s still time to purchase another dress or two if you think you need it. Just remember, it’s hot in the south in August! Amazon has some cute dresses at these links:
    • Smocked Mini Dress. Y’all this inexpensive dress comes in several colors. I love all of them! They’re great for those really hot game days too! Priced under $30, these are adorable! See them here.
    • Love Shack Fancy. I know lots of girls love their Love Shack Fancy dresses. Get their cute Russ dress here. It’s pricy, but it’s cute!
    • One shoulder dress. Pretty Garden has an adorable one-shoulder tiered dress in several colors for under $50. Check it out here.
    • Another one-shoulder dress that resembles Love Shack Fancy, in my opinion. It also comes in lots of colors and is less than $50. See it here.
    • Amanda Uprichard dresses. Amanda Uprichard makes lots of great dresses for rush. See a selection here.
    • Belle Maison Collective. This boutique is out of Huntsville, Alabama, and they have some great options for rush…dresses, shoes, skirts, and shorts. Take a peek here.
    • Revolve. Check revolve.com for some great dress deals, since they have put a lot of seasonal items on sale! Click here.
    • Shopbop. Another great resource is shopbop.com. Click here.
    • Zara. At our house, we love Zara. Click here to see what they have.
  • Pick shoes. When picking which shoes you want to wear with which outfit during rush, remember you don’t need to be uncomfortable. If your feet are hurting throughout the process, you won’t feel your best, and likely won’t project your best self. This is not the time to try a new pair of stilettos. Also, don’t forget to have some comfy slippers/Crocs/flip flops in your Rush Bag, so you can wear them between parties.
  • Accessorize. It’s important to accessorize but not over-accessorize. Understated elegance is best…pearl earrings, small gold hoops, etc.
  • Rush Bag. Don’t forget to put together a Rush bag to help you freshen up between parties in weather so hot it feels like the surface of the sun! To see what you need for the bag, click here.

It’s almost time! So exciting! When my daughter went through the recruitment process last year, she made some great memories!

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush Deals on Amazon Prime Days

Sorority rush deals on Amazon Prime Days.

Amazon Prime Days are here, so it’s a great time to scoop up some of the deals on things you can use for sorority recruitment!

  • Rush Bag. You know that rush bag you need to hold the essentials for hot days in recruitment in the south? There are some great deals on bags that would be great. One great nylon deal is here. Or maybe you prefer neoprene? Click here.
  • Dresses. If you still need to add some dresses to your recruitment lineup, there are some great Amanda Uprichard dresses offered on Prime Days here. See some BB Dakota Prime deals here. Or for great variety, check out Shopbop’s Amazon Prime offerings. We love Shopbop, and I especially love that I can shop them through Amazon. They also have great shoes for rush! click here. Also, don’t forget you’ll likely need a swimsuit right after recruitment for your pledge retreat!
  • Comfy shoes. Last year, when my daughter participated in recruitment at Alabama, she had some comfy shoes to slip on her feet between parties. For a great deal through Prime Days on some, click here. My daughter wore her Ugg slippers. Fluffettes are on sale for Prime Day for $80 (reg $110) here. Or maybe some Crocs? They have tons of Crocs with Prime Day deals here.
  • Rush bag essentials. Band-Aids for those blistered heels? Click here. There are some great Prime deals on Neosporin to treat those blisters here. Prime Day deals on Motrin and Tylenol for that Rush Bag here. Prime Day deals on travel size hand sanitizer here. Get your handheld fan at a deep discount here. And a great deal on a travel/folding umbrella to fit in your rush bag here. If you think you won’t need that umbrella in the south, you’re wrong. Just do it.
  • Small charger for your bag. Get a Prime deal on one here.
  • Velvet hangers. Hang your lovely rush dresses on velvet hangers to keep them from slipping off the hanger, and also to conserve room in your tiny dorm closet. There’s a Prime deal here.

I’ll keep posting more deals as I find them! Get busy shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

Moms and Sorority Rush

Moms and sorority rush.

*The photo above is a file photo from Wikimedia Commons in 2008. It should not be used as an example of “what to wear” during recruitment 2023.*

Yes, it’s a thing. Moms get involved in sorority rush at big southern schools. Does that mean they’re actively going from house to house with their daughters? No. Oh Lord, I hope not…for their own sake but especially for their daughters’ sakes. But yes, Moms help their daughters prepare for rush. They worry about them. They get nervous. They feel all pain and all excitement. Some of them might have been in sororities themselves, and they want their daughters to pledge their chapter. Perhaps a mom has expectations about some chapters offering her daughter a bid. Maybe another mom thinks her daughter couldn’t possibly be dropped by a house. Maybe another one is worried hers will be dropped by every house.

The truth of the matter is that every mom is different, and every girl’s rush experience is different, so different moms and daughters will have different approaches. However, there are some things that are pretty universal…or should be:

  • Help prepare. For information on recruitment preparation, click here. Mom should be calling all her friends asking if any of them are sorority members, and if so, would they write a recommendation for her daughter? She should help her daughter shop for dresses and for the all-important “rush bag.” (See info about the Rush Bag here.) Most moms I know also proofread/edit their daughters’ resumes…or ask someone else to do it. And she should remind her daughter that it is important to keep an open mind about the chapters while she participates in recruitment.
  • Be supportive and positive. This is a stressful time for the girls, so they need the support from Mom. They need reassurance. They need you to be their cheerleaders this week. They need their moms to tell them how much they believe in them.
  • Be realistic. You have likely seen a list of the sorority chapters’ required or recommended GPAs for potential new members. Take those seriously. Those recommendations are there for a reason. No chapter wants to take a grade risk, because the “grade risk” is more likely not to stay in school, based on her academic history. Sororities like to maintain their membership, so if someone fails out of school, it hurts the chapter.
  • Be sympathetic. If/when daughter calls Mom and says, “My favorite house dropped me,” Mom needs to be sympathetic but not enabling. Do not enable your daughter to drop out of the process. If she will stick it out, chances are she will end up where she belongs. Encourage her to continue with the process! If she still has houses inviting her back, then she can still land somewhere she will be happy.
  • Be smart. Remember, some of recruitment is a numbers game. There are different reasons people get dropped, and it’s not always personal. It might be that a chapter is focusing on a different geographic area. It might be that a chapter has a lot of in-house sisters. It might be a GPA issue. Or maybe they are simply looking for something else. Mom, as difficult as it is, remind your daughter not to take it personally.

What are the no-nos for Mom? Well, different people have different thoughts, but I think it’s important for Mom to let her daughter fly. Don’t hover. Get her moved into the dorm, and then, let her start rush without Mom looking over her shoulder. If Mom doesn’t hover, the daughter can make new friends more quickly. And mom shouldn’t put undue pressure on her daughter to pledge where she wants her to pledge.

Mom, you’re likely to feel like you’re going through recruitment with your daughter, and in some ways, you are, but when it comes right down to it…it’s your daughter’s experience. Let her make it her own.

by Kelly Mattei

Your Sorority Recruitment “Rush Bag”

Your sorority recruitment “rush bag.”

I know it’s only June, and most high school graduations haven’t even happened yet. Congratulations to all the 2026 graduates! You’ve finished that big part of life, and now you’re starting something new! Maybe you’re entering the working world. Maybe you’re going to trade/vocational school. Maybe you’re traveling for a while. Maybe you’re going to college. Whatever you’re doing, best of luck to you! If you’re planning to participate in sorority recruitment at a big, southern school, it’s time to start thinking about your “Rush bag.”

What’s a “Rush bag,” you ask? Well, it’s a water-resistant handbag that holds all the necessities for keeping one’s self fresh during a long August day outdoors in any southern state. What kind of bag should you use? What things should go in it? Fear not, for I have answers.

My own daughter rushed at a big, southern school in 2022, and much to her surprise, she used almost every item I put into her rush bag. She thanked me for taking care of business for her.

For the bag itself, I recommend waterproof or, at least, water resistant.

  • Rush bag. If you know a young lady who is graduating from high school and planning to participate in sorority recruitment at a big, southern university, a “rush bag” makes a great gift. She will definitely need one! You’ll want to start with a water-resistant bag with a zipper closure. These bags will be left outside sorority houses on the ground when they go inside, so they don’t need to be fancy bags. I found a perfect one that comes in multiple colors on Amazon for about $27 here. (See photo at bottom of page.) If you opt for that one, I think the medium size is great. If you want to go with a Longchamp-style nylon bag from Amazon…shop here. If you want to add the necessities for recruitment, you can add all of these or some of these items:
    • Handheld, battery-operated fan. It’s hot in the south. The heat and humidity are no joke. She will need a fan. Our daughter used this one last year. And at $7.99 (at time of writing), it’s priced right and comes in a variety of colors.
    • Archies brand flip flops. Your daughter will want some comfortable shoes to wear between parties, and she can slip a pair of Archies right into her bag. These awesome flip flops offer great arch support, and they are designed to absorb shock. They might look like regular flip flops, but I know how much better they are, because I have some! They come in lots of colors, so pick one she likes. Highly recommend! And when rush is over, she can use them as shower shoes or anytime! Purchase for $40 here.
    • Archies brand flip flops. Your daughter will want some comfortable shoes to wear between parties, and she can slip a pair of Archies right into her bag. These awesome flip flops offer great arch support, and they are designed to absorb shock. They might look like regular flip flops, but I know how much better they are, because I have some! They come in lots of colors, so pick one she likes. Highly recommend! And when rush is over, she can use them as shower shoes or anytime! Purchase for $40 here.
    • Waterproof folding changing pad. Sounds crazy, I know, but the girls will be wearing dresses and will need to sit on the ground some during the day. They can save their dresses from grass stains or water spots with this. We got our daughter this one.
    • Blotting papers. All that heat and humidity produces sweat…blot away the shine with blotting papers. Get some from NYX at Amazon for just $6 here.
    • Insulated Water Bottle. They’ll need cold water each day. Pick a water bottle from Amazon here.
    • Hand sanitizer. This is pretty obvious. We purchased our daughter some Purell travel-sized hand sanitizers to use between parties. Get them from Amazon here.
    • Small umbrella. A small folding umbrella is crucial in the south, where thunderstorms can crop up at any time. When I asked my daughter which item she used most from her rush bag, her immediate answer was “the umbrella.” We got a great one at Amazon here.
    • Tissues. These come in handy. You never know when you’ll need a tissue. Get Amazon’s Choice here.
    • Deodorant. This is a more personal item, so you can include it or not. I think it’s nice to include one just as a possibility. Personally, I love Carpe antiperspirant/deodorant, which you can buy here. They have lots of different scents, and I have tried lots of them. For women, my favorite scents are Cashmere, Fresh Powder, and Rose Water. They also offer sweat absorbing lotion for face and hands, and they actually work! I know, because I have tried them! HIGHLY RECOMMEND!
    • Breath Strips. The girls spend a lot of time going to lots of parties, and they are in crowds. They want fresh breath. Sure, they can use mints, but I think breath strips are better, because they dissolve quickly. Get them from Amazon for under $6 here.
    • Portable charger. The girls don’t want their phones to die in the middle of the day, so a portable charger comes in handy. For a small, inexpensive one, click here.
    • Lip gloss or balm. Most people have their own cosmetics they love, but Dior Addict lip products are loved by lots of people! If you don’t want to choose a color, their lip balms, maximizers, and oils come in clear versions too. See them here.
    • Band Aids. I would add some regular Band Aids from here. And some blister Band Aids from here.
    • Snack. Gatorade Recovery Protein Bars are great snacks for those hot days…something to put some pep in their step. It’s a great small snack, because it provides a little protein.My daughter loves these on the go. Get some here.
    • Safety pins. For little emergencies, these come in handy. Get a small packet here.
    • Feminine products. You definitely want to have feminine hygiene products on hand, in case you need them.
    • Painkillers such as Ibuprofen or Acetaminophen. Also, a dose of any regular medications you take.
    • Medication Sorter. If your daughter takes any regular daily medications, a med sorter can be a big help. See the one I recommend here.
    • You can include a notebook and pen, but I feel like most girls take notes on their phones.

In reality, you hope you won’t need to use the items in your rush bag, but you want to be prepared. You don’t want to have to walk around asking people if they have safety pins or Band Aids if you need one, and you definitely don’t want to use someone else’s makeup or deodorant.

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