by Kelly Mattei

Shopbop on Amazon

Shopbop on Amazon.

I love Shopbop. I have been shopping with Shopbop for years, and a few years ago, I was lucky enough to stumble upon a Shopbop pop-up shop in New York! “Shopbop pop-up shop”…wow, that’s a lot of bops and pops.

Until recently, though, I didn’t know I could shop Shopbop through Amazon to take advantage of my Amazon Prime benefits...free shipping and easy, peasy, Amazon returns! It’s true! Shopbop has an Amazon shop! You can see it and shop it here.

If you’re a fan of Shopbop already, you know how awesome their offerings are. If you’re not a fan of Shopbop, it’s high time you became one. They have the latest styles in apparel, beauty, and accessories from brands at lots of different price points, and they have great sales too! They even have a section of “under $200 fashion finds”! All of it…all of it…is listed on their Amazon site!

Need a dress for an upcoming event? Shopbop. Need something to wear to an athletic event? Shopbop. Want to freshen your wardrobe? Shopbop. Just want to surprise your college-age daughter with a new bracelet or handbag? Shopbop.

Check it all out here. And if you’re still looking for some dresses for sorority recruitment, check out their sales section for dresses like those shown below!

Happy Shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

When Sorority Rush is Over

When Sorority Rush is over.

When sorority rush starts, for the potential new members, it seems as though the week will never end. It’s a week of great fun for some and a week of misery for others…and some fall in between. If your daughter is participating in recruitment, here is something you should know: it will end, and it will be emotional.

No matter how it ends, it’s an emotional time…an emotional rollercoaster. They might be overjoyed. The excitement might be overwhelming! They might be sad. They might even be angry or embarrassed. But emotions definitely run high. Here’s something no one warned me about:

A couple of days after rush is over, almost everyone falls flat.

Last year, my daughter completed recruitment and pledged her favorite house as a freshman. She was thrilled. She was excited. For about two days, it was all she could talk about. And then, about 48 hours after pledging, she called me crying. No, she wasn’t disappointed with her choice. She was thrilled. She was simply feeling down in the dumps. At first, I wondered if it was homesickness, but then I realized it wasn’t that at all…she was simply having a “post-rush letdown.” That’s what I call it anyway. After being “courted” by sorority members during the recruitment process and all the excitement of Bid Day, everything else seems flat. If you’re mentally prepared for it, you know what it is, and you know what to do to fight the “blues.”

I wasn’t prepared for it last year. I’m normally really good about remembering my youth, but I had forgotten about the post-rush letdown, so when my daughter called, I was surprised for a minute…until I remembered. I listened to her tearfully tell me she was sad but didn’t know why. Then, I explained to her what was happening. I told her that what she was feeling was normal, because it is. That level of excitement and happiness she had during rush and on Bid Day simply can’t be sustained. She was bound to crash at some point. I told her to go for a walk in the sunshine. Sunshine helps. I also told her to find one of her new friends and invite her to go with her. Then, I suggested she go to her new sorority house and try to meet new friends. Maybe get some exercise with some of those new friends?

A couple of hours later, she called me sounding like her old self. In fact, she went so far as to cheerfully say, “I love it here!” I knew she had turned the corner, and it was a good thing, because I was on vacation in the Bahamas having a great time!

This year, she participated in rush as a member of a sorority. She was rushing new members all week. She was feeling the excitement again! And on Bid Day, she welcomed the girls she had worked so hard to recruit. She was absolutely thrilled! Fast forward 48 hours, and I received a call. “Mom, I don’t know why, but I’m feeling sad.” This time I knew the answer, “Oh, honey, you’re having post-rush letdown! Remember last year? Remember how 48 hours after it was over you had a little bout of sadness? It’s the same thing! The excitement is over and reality is setting in.” I suggested she get some exercise. Two hours later, she called me laughing and telling me a funny story about something that had happened. She had made it through the post-rush letdown again. I just hadn’t expected her to have the same feeling as a member, but she did, and next year, I will be ready to remind her that it’s going to happen.

Why am I telling you this? Moms, I want y’all to be prepared. And I want you to know that the post-rush letdown is a totally normal thing. That sad feeling will likely pass quickly if your daughter will get some exercise and make an effort to make some more new friends. It’s a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, but just know the sadness will go away with some good coaching from Mom! Stay positive, Mom!

You got this!

by Kelly Mattei

Send Your College Student A Surprise

Send your college student a surprise.

When I was in college in the 1980s, my mother sent me surprises on a regular basis. She went to the trouble to find some surprises, package them, and take them to the post office to mail them. It’s a lot easier to surprise our far-away kids these days. With Amazon, I can order something for our daughter and know she will have it pretty quickly. It’s one of my favorite things to do. Sometimes I send useful items, and sometimes I send silly stuff, but no matter what, she knows I’m thinking of her. And sometimes, a well-timed package can give them a little pick-me-up just when they need it! That’s what it’s all about, right?

If you’re considering sending something to your college student, here are some ideas:

  • Cravebox. Cravebox offers different kinds of snack packages. Since so many students live in dorms or fraternity/sorority houses, it’s nice for them to have non-perishable snacks readily available. They offer their standard snack bar care package for $26.99; it contains 40 popular snack items. Purchase it here. For healthier snacks from Cravebox, you can send their healthy snack package (45 count) for $36.95 here. Our daughter loves that one. Or get the variety pack for $28.95 here. There’s also a brand called Collegebox that offers a care package for $28.95. Check it out here. Your college student will be grateful, but they’ll also be able to share with friends!
  • Socks. My mother used to send me silly socks all the time, and I would always laugh when I opened them. Girls and boys like silly socks. See a huge variety at Amazon here.
  • Tshirts and sweatshirts. College students love tshirts and sweatshirts. Why dress up for class when you can be comfortable? Or maybe they just wear them when they’re lounging around? Either way, they love them. You can always give them a tshirt that’s a tribute to Animal House. They won’t get the meaning, but you will! See a “college” tshirt here. Or maybe get your daughter a “favorite daughter” sweatshirt here. You can always send them a sweatshirt representing their college/university. Amazon has a huge selection here.
  • Toiletries. Sometimes, I send our daughter toiletries from Amazon, so she doesn’t have to go out and buy them. Razors for girls here. Hair ties here or here. New charcoal toothbrushes here.
  • Spa/Makeup headbands. My daughter loves these things, and she especially loves the cute ones I sent her as a surprise! Y’all, these from I Dew Care on Amazon are awesome! There’s one that looks like a tiara, plus a white cat, a black cat, and a bear! So cute and useful! See them here.
  • Clear handbag. If your daughter attends a college or university that has spectator sports, chances are they need to have a clear handbag for the stadium. If she doesn’t have one, get an inexpensive one now for football season! Purchase a great option at Amazon here. She will thank you.
  • She’s Birdie Personal Alarm. This is a great gift for any college girl, and receiving it in a surprise package is cool. These small personal alarms attach to a keychain, so they’re easy to carry and easy to access. Keep her safe! See the She’s Birdie store on Amazon here.
  • Board Games. I know it sounds counterproductive, but it’s not. College students need an escape, and board games with friends are a great way to take a break from homework/studying. My friend, Angela, and I played Yahtzee all the time when we lived next door to each other in the sorority house. It was great relaxation for us when we needed a break. It’s also a great way to get to know other people! Invite them to play! See a variety of games on Amazon here.
  • Plastic flask. If your child is old enough to drink, maybe they take their own alcohol in a flask? I love a plastic flask I found on Amazon…plastic, because its not picked up by metal detectors. Lol. Today it’s on sale for $7.99…regularly $10.99. Get it here.

As I find more great ideas, I will post them! Happy shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

Travel Stuff

Travel stuff.

I like to travel. That’s no secret. Because of that, I’m always looking for products/items that make travel easier and more enjoyable. Without further ado, I’m going to share some of my recent discoveries:

  • Luggage System. When buzzing through airports or even going from car to hotel, it’s a big help to me that I have a luggage “system,” meaning my smaller bag stacks securely atop my carry-on! I paid too much for mine, but here’s one that is about $100, and it gets great reviews, as you will see! Click here to see it at Amazon.
  • Crockpot Electric Lunch Box. This can be great for road trips, because who doesn’t get tired of grabbing food on the go at fast food joints? I always prefer a real hot meal over that junk, so when I saw this, I had to have it! Priced at around $35, it’s a deal of the day on Amazon! Get it here.
  • Everest Wheeled Backpack. A cool concept when you only need to carry on one bag. Everest makes a wheeled backpack, so you can carry it on your bag or pull it behind you. Whatever works! See it at Amazon here.
  • Luggage Straps Set. If you need to check your bags at the airport, a bright-colored luggage strap set can help you recognize your bags more easily when they arrive at the baggage carousel. These are inexpensive and easy to use. Purchase them here.
  • Rand McNally Road Atlas 100th Anniversary Edition. Nobody loves a road atlas more than I do! Correction: my friend, Mary Ann, loves an atlas as much as I do, and we definitely used one on our big road trips. If you’re planning a big road trip, you need an atlas in advance, because they are not easy to find on the road. I know from experience. This 100th Anniversary Edition is special, featuring the history of the American road trip. You might want to keep this one as a collectible. Get it here. For one to actually take on the road with you, there’s the regular Rand McNally Road Atlas and National Park Guide. You can purchase it here. Sure, you can use GPS on your phone, but you can get a real picture of where you’re going or where you’ve been with an atlas. Highly recommend.
  • Bright Luggage Tags. Don’t want to put a strap on your checked bag? Then put a bright colored luggage tag. See some great ones here. These are great to have on your college student’s bags too. My daughter has a black backpack, but I put a bright-colored luggage tag on it, so she can recognize it quickly when it’s near other black backpacks, which are everywhere.
  • Travel Shoes. You can still dress nicely and wear sneakers. I have found the best ones for travel are from On Cloud. My faves? The Cloud 5. Purchase for women here. Purchase for men here.
  • Portable Charger. You never know when your plans will change or when you will look at your phone and see that it has only 3% charge left! Yikes! Keep a quality portable charger handy for times like that. See a good, inexpensive one at Amazon here.

Come back soon for more travel “stuff.” It’s one of my favorite topics!

by Kelly Mattei

Amazon Deals for the Kitchen

Amazon Deals for the kitchen.

My husband loves to purchase small kitchen appliances. I don’t know why, but he does. I suppose I should be grateful, because I never have to do it. And he knows the good small appliances! Here are some good ones that are offered at discounted prices at Amazon right now:

  • KitchenAid Mixer. (see photo below) Everybody knows KitchenAid makes a great mixer, right? Get one for a discounted price at Amazon here. It’s regularly $329. Get it now for about $292.
  • KitchenAid Food Chopper. It’s not a necessity, but it’s an inexpensive luxury. Get the silver one right now from Amazon for $44.99, while other colors are about $55. See it here.
  • Single cup Keurig Coffeemaker. Priced right now at just under $60, this single cup coffeemaker is 25% off! Great for dorms or home. Get it here.
  • Glass Purse Vase. Want to brighten your kitchen with a conversation piece? Fill a lovely purse-shaped vase with colorful flowers for your countertop or tabletop. It’s offered in several colors, and it’s less than $30! Purchase here. ***It is a vase, not a handbag. Picture below is simply for illustration.
  • Cuisinart Toaster Convection Oven. I love Cuisinart toaster ovens, but there are lots of different models. The best thing about them? You don’t have to wait for an oven to heat. The most basic model I see on Amazon is a classic toaster oven for about $99 here. Then, there’s a slightly dressed up model that includes convection (like an air fryer) for $119 here. Need a more “deluxe” model? You can have one that offers all that plus precision temperature setting here. But if you want the big daddy of toaster ovens, the Cuisinart Air Fryer + Convection Toaster Oven, 8-1 Oven with Bake, Grill, Broil & Warm Options for $197, discounted from $229.95 here.
  • Ninja Air Fryer. Great for home, camping, or even dorm…if its allowed. This air fryer gets great reviews, and I have used it myself! Get it for 23% off at $99.99 here.
  • Lifestraw Water Filter Dispenser. I love the Lifestraw brand! I think they make quality products, so you’ll see that I mention them often. This water filter dispenser holds 18 cups of water and cleans it all. It’s the only water filter dispenser that filters out bacteria and parasites in additions to lead, mercury, and microplastics. Get it for home, office, dorm, or camping! Priced at $47.28, it’s a deal! Its normally about $65. Don’t hesitate on this deal! Get it here.
  • White Metal Canister Set. Pebble and Stem makes a great set of four canisters for your countertop in your kitchen…and they’re right on trend! Check them out for 30% off at $34.96 here.

  • Pantry Storage Organizer Bins. I admire people who have organized pantries. Therefore, I am resolving to get mine organized with these clear plastic pantry storage organizer bins. Right now, in a limited time deal, Amazon is offering them at 40% off for $21.24 for SIX bins! Its a great deal. Check it out here.

That’s what I have found recently in kitchen deals. Take advantage of them while you can! I will post more as I see them!

by Kelly Mattei

OK, Moms, It’s Sorority Rush Time

OK, moms, it’s sorority rush time!

Sorority rush (also known as recruitment) is getting underway at big schools all over the south. A couple of places have already finished, but lots are just getting started. I remember it well from last year, when our daughter participated in recruitment. Is it fun for the girls? For the most part, yes. Is it stressful for the girls? Sometimes, yes. But I discovered last year that it might be more stressful for the moms. It’s true.

First, let me say that most big, southern schools employ a method that ensures the greatest number of matches. Therefore, at most big schools in the south, the attrition rate during recruitment is relatively low, and girls dropping out on their own account for a large percentage of the attrition. For example, at one large southern school I’m familiar with, about 92% of the girls finish the process with a bid(invitation to join) from a sorority. Of the other 8%, most are people who dropped out on their own. Some had GPAs that didn’t meet the chapters’ requirements. It’s not like it was back in the 80s or even the 90s…girls aren’t just getting dropped left and right, all willy nilly, and at this particular school, no one gets dropped after Preference round, which is the last night of recruitment. If you make it to Preference, you are guaranteed a bid somewhere.

With that out of the way, let’s talk about how Mom feels during the process. Mom, you might feel stressed. You might feel numb. You might feel out-of-the-loop. You might feel helpless. And all of that is OK. You feel what you feel. It’s hard to be away from your daughter when she is going through something stressful. I was talking with a friend earlier, and we discussed what we would put in a Mom’s rush bag, if there were such a thing. Maybe you’ll want to create one from this list? You can keep it next to your favorite chair:

  • Aromatherapy Shower Steamers. Make your shower/bathroom feel like a spa with scents like lavender, rose, mint, and more! It’s relaxing. See them here.
  • Olly Sleep. If you’re having trouble sleeping, maybe some melatonin will help. I love Olly Sleep gummies. Check with your doctor before taking supplements. Purchase here.
  • Bath Pillow. A hot bath can be very relaxing, but only if you’re comfortable in your tub. A bath pillow can make a big difference. Get it from Amazon here.
  • Easy read. Throw yourself into a good book. If you want to read an easy-to-read novel about rush, there’s Rush by Lisa Patton at Amazon here.
  • Relaxing Face Mask. Forcing yourself to relax with a face mask is a great thing. I prefer ones containing lavender, but you might like others. Choose one here.
  • Favorite healthy snacks. I think every mom needs to have some healthy snacks handy, but especially when times are stressful. Drop some of your faves in your “mom rush bag.”

Last year, I had several friends whose daughters were participating in recruitment at the same time mine was. We would talk, and often, we had different stories to share. We didn’t tell each other which houses/chapters our daughters were visiting, but we did share anecdotes…like when one of our daughters almost walked out of her dorm and to a sorority houses wearing two different shoes. Another girl sat in gum between parties. We all shared some laughs, but if one mom cried, we all cried. If one mom was being particularly funny, we all laughed. Thank God we had each other to lean on.

The recruitment process is not easy. There’s so much anxiety…daily anxiety. Add in the pure exhaustion that comes from walking from house to house in summer heat. Add in the emotional exhaustion. It’s a lot. Plus, many of the girls are away from home for the first time.

But here’s one thing to remember when talking to your daughter:

Never let her see you sweat.

If your daughter calls you crying, resist the urge to jump into the pool of tears with her. It’s easy to dive right in there, but your daughter needs you to be strong for her. She needs you to be the voice of reason. Personally, at our house, if I can hold myself together, everyone else does too. So remember that if your daughter calls you crying one morning after receiving her invitations for a round, saying she got dropped by her very favorite house. Let her cry for a minute, but remind her that she needs to dry up those tears and put on a happy face for the next house. She needs to be reminded that the chapters that kept her really want her…they kept her for a reason. She needs to keep moving forward, and you might have to encourage her to do it. Tell her to take a deep breath and “pivot.” She’s going to be OK. (And you are too, Mom.) It might seem like her world is collapsing right now, but it’s not. This is just a blip on the radar. Remind her there are great girls in every chapter; it’s true.

There will be some girls who simply decide sorority life is not for them. Or maybe they just hate the process. Or maybe they have had enough. Whatever the reason, it’s OK to drop out of recruitment, but only after giving it a real effort. Don’t drop out on a whim. And if your daughter simply needs to drop out, you need to assure her that she has to make the best decision for herself.

As for maintaining your own sanity, a glass of wine could be your friend! Or some exercise. Or some sunshine. You got this, Mom.


by Kelly Mattei

Some New Clothing Faves

Some new clothing faves…

Yep, this one is all about what I’m finding for myself right now. I appreciate really nice clothes as much as the next person, but I don’t like to travel with all my nicest things. Why? Well, because there are times I have to check a bag on an airline, and I simply don’t trust them with my nicer clothes. I have some trips coming up, and I have added a few things to my wardrobe from Amazon…including something made for men, but women will love it too! See them here:

  • Lightweight “housecoat.” I sound like my mother when I say the word “housecoat,” but sometimes, it’s nice to have something to wear while I get ready. Yes, hotels have robes, and I have robes at home, but it’s not always easy to do hair and makeup in a heavy robe. I tend to get too hot, so I like to keep a lightweight housecoat…one I can pack easily. You can see my latest housecoat purchase here. It has short sleeves and zips up the front, making it easy to put on and off, and the sleeves don’t impair my “getting ready.” Another one I like can be seen here. It’s more like your mother’s housecoat, but it’s great too. Plus, because they’re made from lightweight fabric, they don’t take up much room in luggage. They’re priced under $30. I got a pink one and a peacock blue one.
  • One-shoulder dress. It’s no secret that I don’t love my arms. I’ve never loved my arms. However, it looks like warm weather is here to stay for a while, and I really hate to be hot. I found a cute one-shoulder dress that’s great for hot weather, and it’s also easy to pack. With a trip to Panama City, Panama, coming up in October, I need some things I can pack easily to wear in that tropical climate. This cute dress comes in lots of colors, and I feel like the color-blocking distracts from my one exposed arm. It’s cute…the dress…not my arm. See the dress here.
  • Sorel sneakers. Because I’m still having issues with sciatica, I’m wearing sneakers a lot more than I normally do. I love my On Clouds, and I’m still wearing them, but it’s nice to vary things up a bit. Therefore, I got some sneakers from Sorel, and I love them! In fact, I love them so much that I got two pairs in different colors! You can see my favorite style here. They come in lots of colors, and prices start at just over $50 for some colors. I normally wear a 9, and it worked perfectly. They’re cute and comfy! But if you don’t want to look at anything besides On Clouds, I get it. I love mine too. See them here.
  • White Jeans. I love white jeans, but at 56, it’s a lot more difficult to find jeans I really like than it used to be. A couple of years ago, a friend told me to check out NYDJ (Not Your Daughters Jeans). Let’s face it. I don’t need to be wearing the same style of jeans as my almost-20-yr-old daughter. There are several styles of NYDJ’s white jeans I have and love…wide-leg, fitted, ankle-length…check them all out at the NYDJ store on Amazon here.
  • Romper/dress. Y’all, I saw this romper dress advertised on Instagram for months before I finally decided to try to find it on Amazon. I wasn’t sure about the trustworthiness of the sellers on Insta, but I knew I could trust Amazon to back up any purchase I made. Therefore, I found it on Amazon and placed an order. I love it! I ordered it in several colors! It’s great for everyday wear in this super hot weather we are having these days. It will also be great in Panama. Yes, it’s a little short, but since it has a built-in romper underneath, it doesn’t matter! Keep in mind that it runs a little large. It’s available in lots of colors. I love the black and the brighter colors like hot pink and bright yellow. And it’s made of lightweight eyelet fabric, so it doesn’t take up a lot of room in luggage. Seriously, I have six of them. Purchase here.
  • No show socks. OK, since I’m wearing sneakers more often, I needed to stock up on no-show socks. The best socks I have ever owned are Feetures. I have a few pairs. They feel great and offer a little arch support, but they are pricey. You can see them here. I highly recommend them, but the price point might not be right for everyone. For a better price point on supportive no-show socks, I highly recommend the ones made by Saucony. See them here. I wear them almost every day.
  • Dude Robe. Yep, the last thing I’m listing was made for guys, but I love it! I got to use a Dude Robe at a hotel earlier this year, and wow! Hooded, soft, warm…and cuffed sleeves, so no floppy sleeves…perfect. It’s pricey, but that’s because it’s good. Purchase here.

So there are a few new items I recommend to carry you through the warm days ahead. Finish out the hot months in cute, comfy, inexpensive clothing…or pack it in your luggage! Happy shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

It’s Almost Football Season!

It’s almost football season!

Its the most wonderful time of the year…football season! Seriously, we count down every year at our house. We love all kinds of football…high school, college, NFL. We have our favorite teams, but we will watch almost any game. I can’t watch really bad football. If both teams in any game are playing miserably, I have to remove myself from the viewing area of the television. However, I love a good, close game, and I love the spirit of competition!

I have lots of good memories tied up in football. No, I never played. I’m 5’2″ on a tall day. Plus, I’m tough, but I’m not that tough. However, I have lots of great memories from throughout my life that are related to football. One of the greatest games I have ever attended was the Alabama-Miami Sugar Bowl for the National Championship at the end of the 1992 season. To me, it was one for the ages. My team, the Alabama Crimson Tide, was the definite underdog to the powerhouse University of Miami Hurricanes. I went to the game in the New Orleans Superdome expecting to lose, but I was pleasantly surprised that, not only did we win, we pulled off a huge upset, winning 34-13.

As football season approaches every year, we start stocking up on apparel. My daughter is in college at Alabama now, so she needs cute gameday dresses and outfits. I like to find my own gameday outfits, but they’re not as important as hers! In addition, our local NFL team, the Carolina Panthers, just recruited a quarterback from Alabama, so she and I both ordered our very own Bryce Young #9 jerseys. It has been a long time since we were really excited about a Panthers team, but we are looking forward to the season this year. We’ll be the ones at games in the Bryce Young jerseys. Ha!

If you’re looking for your own game day apparel, I have ideas for everyone in the family! Check these out:

  • College girls. In the south, our college girls go one of two routes. They either dress up for the games, or they wear football jerseys representing their school. I should mention it’s really hot during most of football season in the south, so comfort is key. Therefore, short dresses without a whole lot of extra sleeve fabric…those are popular. Breezy rompers are popular, as well. There are some great options on Amazon in lots of different colors/patterns. One romper that comes in lots of colors and will be cool on a hot game day can be found here. Need a dress for a hot game? See one here. Another romper that will work great for college girls on a hot day can be seen here…it’s offered in 19 colors! If your team is green (Tulane? Baylor?), see a cute green option for a hot day here. And see a cute white dress in 100% cotton here. Once it’s cooler, you might opt for this great dress here. To see lots of game day inspiration on Amazon, click here.
  • College apparel/fan gear. Need NCAA apparel or fan gear? You can get that at Amazon too by going to the Campus Colors page here. You can find almost anything you need by searching for your favorite team under “shop by college.” If you’re a Bama fan, you can bypass that step and click here. Auburn fans click here. Arkansas Razorbacks? Click here. For more SEC teams, click on the name of the school: Florida, Georgia, LSU,, Ole Miss, South Carolina, Vandy, Missouri, Tennessee, Texas A&M, or Kentucky. For some reason, Mississippi State isn’t featured, so forgive me, my Bulldog friends. Or check out Amazon’s FAN ZONE here to see goods and apparel from lots of different teams and leagues…college and professional. You can even find those obnoxious car flags there!
  • Plastic flask. If you want to take your own alcohol to a tailgate, I have the perfect flask for you. I know none of my readers would sneak their own alcohol into a game to avoid standing in line at a bar or overpaying for alcohol in a stadium, but if you know someone who would (wink, wink), a plastic flask is great, because it won’t set off a metal detector. My personal favorite can be seen here. At only $10, it’s a steal. I also put a LeakLock Toiletry skin over it to ensure it won’t leak. You can get those here.

It’s still hots as blazes in the southeast right now, but football season will be here soon! Be prepared! I can smell the tailgates and bourbon in the air already!

by Kelly Mattei

Freshman Move-In vs Sophomore Move-In

Freshman move-in vs sophomore move-in.

A friend texted me today telling me her daughter hasn’t helped her gather or pack anything for move-in to her college freshman dorm next week. She seemed annoyed about it, but I chuckled to myself. I know what she is going through. I know how she feels. I went through the same thing last year.

Last year, as we were preparing for our daughter to go off to college for her freshman year, I was making lists and shopping for everything she could possibly need in her dorm room. Boxes filled our foyer. I washed and folded new sheets for her that are better than the sheets I have on my own bed. I packed all the medical supplies, cleaning supplies, and toiletries I could possibly think to pack.

I told my friend, “I think that’s normal. She is probably in denial about her upcoming departure. You’re nesting…just like you did when you were expecting a baby. Nesting/staying busy takes your mind off the fact that your child is about to move hundreds of miles away. If you’re busy you won’t think about it, and if she doesn’t pack anything, she doesn’t have to think about leaving her friends behind.” I told her, “Last year, my daughter packed absolutely nothing. She brought down the clothes/shoes/toiletries she wanted to take (after I told her to), but I did all the packing.” In fact, it was such a foreign concept to me at the time that I wrote a piece about college nesting. You can see it here.

This year, her sophomore year, was much different. We moved her into her sorority house last week. Preparations? I did almost nothing. Seriously. I didn’t order anything. She brought down the very expensive sheets she had packed last year, and I washed them, but that was about it. I did order some wardrobe boxes from Amazon (see them here) for her to pack in, but that’s it. I don’t think I did anything else. I guess she learned something from living away from home: how to take care of business. In fact, I went out for a little while the afternoon before we were taking her to school, and when I got home, all her belongings were in the foyer. She had two wardrobe boxes packed with her clothes, and she had everything else in moving bags and Hulken bags. She really made it easy on me this year.

Do I think that’s normal? Yes. Every friend I have spoken with says their sophomore children have handled all the moving logistics on their own. And all my friends told me last year that their kids did nothing.

What did those rising freshmen do with their time leading up to departure? They spent a lot of time with their high school friends. Perfectly normal. I’m no psychologist, but I remember how hard it is to leave friends behind. By the time sophomore move-in rolls around, they know their high school friends can visit anytime, and they are excited to get back to their college friends.

So don’t worry if your freshman isn’t taking care of business on the move-out process. It’s normal. Let them be with their friends. I can almost guarantee they will handle it next year.

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush Conversations

Sorority rush conversations.

***I am not a sorority recruitment consultant.

Participating in sorority recruitment soon? You’ve probably wondered what people talk about when they go to rush parties. You aren’t being officially “interviewed.” It’s more of a conversation. There are lots of topics, but the main thing is you want to come across as likable, enthusiastic, and interested. How to do that? Here are some ideas:

  • Listen to your rush counselor. Above all else, listen to your rush counselor. They are well-trained.
  • Have some questions in mind. Here’s the deal: in most cases, the sorority member will get the conversation rolling. She isn’t going to be “interviewing” you. She is going to talk to you like one college girl talking to another. However, it is important that you are an active participant. Be prepared to answer questions about yourself. What’s your major? How did you pick this school? What do you like to do on weekends? To see more likely questions, click here. Those are all standard questions a sorority member could ask just to get the ball rolling. Usually, you can find a common topic through those questions. If it doesn’t happen, you need to have some questions of your own to ask…open-ended questions to get a conversation rolling. See a list of some here. Just have a few questions in mind, in case they ask you if you have questions, and in case there is a lull in conversation.
  • Answer enthusiastically. When a member asks you questions, do not answer with a simple “yes” or “no.” For example, if she asks if you’re enjoying recruitment, you might respond, “Yes! I’m having the best time! I love the girls in my rush group, and I feel like I’m meeting awesome new friends everywhere I turn!” If she asks what your major is, talk about it. “Right now, I’m majoring in biology. I’ve always loved science. I hear the biology classes are really hard here, but I’m excited to get started! What’s YOUR major?” Never, ever look bored at a party…always excited to be there. Sometimes, the girls in a chapter will gauge your interest based on the look on your face and body language, so even when you’re tired, muster up some enthusiasm!
  • Check their social media. Between parties, it’s OK to check the social media account of the next chapter you’re visiting. You might get some conversation topics. Maybe you see photos of the members’ summer activities. You can say, “Wow! I saw so many fun places y’all visited on your Instagram!” That could lead a member to talk about what she did over the summer. Or you could say, “I love the chapter Instagram account! The photos from your philanthropy event in the spring were awesome!” But make sure you know what you’re talking about and don’t mix up chapters.
  • Ask the member about herself. People love it when someone asks about them. Therefore, ask about the girl’s major, her interests, her hometown, her rush experience, her hobbies, etc.
  • Be engaged. Listen closely to what she says/asks. Don’t look around the room when you’re talking with a sorority member. Pay attention to what she is saying. Make eye contact. Smile.
  • Don’t talk about sensitive subjects. Do not discuss boys (boyfriends, swaps, etc), religion, politics, alcohol, or money (how much you have or don’t have, how much are dues, etc). Some people call it the Bs: boys, Bible, Biden, booze, bucks.
  • Be friendly and polite. Whether you are truly interested in the chapter or not, be friendly and polite. Remember, most sorority girls have friends in other chapters, and if you’re rude, they will tell their friends in other chapters. Word gets around. Also, always thank the girls. If you are talking with a girl and she hands you off to another one (you’ll usually talk to more than one girl during a party), thank each girl at the end of each conversation. It’s OK to say, “I enjoyed talking with you! Thank you!” Also, make sure to thank the girl who walks you out. Thanking someone is always a good idea.
  • Do NOT discuss other chapters with sorority members or with other PNMs. No one needs to know who dropped you. No one needs to know your favorites. No one needs to know which chapters you do or don’t want to join. Do not speak ill of any chapters or sorority members. Keep your preferences to yourself.

If Panhellenic at the school you’re attending publishes a recruitment guide, read it thoroughly. You are more likely to have a fun experience during recruitment if you are well-informed.

Most of all, enjoy the experience!