Author / Kelly Mattei

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Posts by Kelly Mattei

I grew up in Alabama but have lived in Charlotte, NC, for more than 25 years...longer than I've ever lived any other one place. Growing up, we moved a few times, so when people ask where I’m from, I just say Alabama, even though I have lived in three other states. I have been married for 25 years, and we have one daughter, who has one year of college left. We love being parents, but we also love empty-nesting. We enjoy traveling, star-gazing, walking, and sunshine. I worked in the travel business for 11 years, and I’m always looking for the next place to visit, but interestingly, I don’t like going where everyone else is going. If everyone else is going to Italy or Greece, no thanks. I’d rather go to Latin America or somewhere in the US I haven’t seen before. I’ve never liked doing what everyone else is doing! I have visited 40 states and would love to visit all 50. I also consider myself a “connector.” I like helping people know other people. No, not for money…for fun.
by Kelly Mattei

Get Dorm Stuff on Prime Days

Get dorm stuff on Prime Days, July 11 and 12…deals available to Amazon Prime members! ****Keep checking back, as I will be adding items to this list today and tomorrow!****

You can see dorm essential deals on Amazon Prime Days here. Simply scroll through the pages at the link and pick up what you need at Prime Day discount prices…today and tomorrow only! See below for some of the deals, but click the above link for all the dorm essentials. Here are some great deals:

  • Garbage can. Your dorm room might not provide it. We had to provide it for our daughter’s room in Tutwiler Hall at a Alabama this past year. For a deal, click here.
  • Vacuum cleaners and air purifiers. You student might need a vacuum cleaner and/or air purifier in a dorm or an apartment. Our daughter had a Dyson vacuum cleaner; see the Dyson vacuum and air purifier deals…up to 51% off…deals here. See the Bissell…up to 36% off… deals here. There are also deals from Shark here.
  • Yeti Coolers and Drinkware. Get some great Prime deals on Yeti products here!
  • Bose headphones and speakers. Amazon Prime has some great Prime Day deals on Fantastic Bose products…up to 40% off! This is a big deal! See them here.
  • Vitamix Blenders. I never see these on sale, but for Prime Days, you can get up to 40% off the legendary Vitamix Blenders here.
  • Amazon Fire TV. It’s a great time to purchase an Amazon Fire TV! Some are 38% off! See them here. And their smart TVs at up to 41% off here.
  • Keurig coffeemakers. You have to love seeing these on sale! One cup or multi-cup…get them on Prime Day here.
  • Ergonomic Chair by Sihoo. I have one of these, and I think they’d be great in a dorm room. They promote good posture and take some pressure off your lower back. At prices up to 49% off, they’re a Prime deal. See them here.
  • Sleepyhead Mattress Topper. These rarely go on sale, and Sleepyhead is the gold standard in mattress toppers. See the deals (20% off!) on gel toppers here and copper toppers also 20% off here.
  • Towels. There are lots of Prime Day deals on various towels, which your student will definitely need in the dorm. See them here.
  • First Aid Kit. Your students needs a handy first aid kit in the dorm room. See options in Prime Deals here.
  • Rugs. There are some great deals on rugs here.
  • Desk lamps. Check Prime Day deals on desk lamps here. There are lots of deals to be had!
  • Folding chair/convertible chaise lounge/cot. It’s great to have one of these in dorm rooms. My daughter had lots of friends visit from other schools. Get one here.
  • Shower curtain. Don’t forget they might need a shower curtain, if they have a private shower! Amazon Prime deals here.
  • Swiffer duster. Just get it. College dorms are full of dust bunnies. Encourage your child to dust his/her room at least once a week. It’s easy with Swiffer. Get it here.
  • Upright Steamer. If your daughter is going to college in the south, she will definitely use a steamer. Participating in recruitment? She will use it throughout the process. She’ll also use it regularly on dresses/pants/tops for game days and parties. I recommend a great upright steamer for several reasons: ease of use, usually higher wattage, freestanding, and it’s too easy for someone to take a handheld steamer out of your room. The Rowenta I recommend is a great steamer, and it’s a great deal on Prime Days! See it here. Or see other Prime Day deals on steamers here.
  • Martha Stewart Cookware. Is your child moving into an apartment? They’ll need basic pots and pans. This Martha Stewart brand set is a bargain on Prime Days! Click here!
  • Seasonal Affective Disorder Lamps. If your student suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder, get prepared with Happy Lights from Verilux. Lots of deals on Prime Days here.

Get busy shopping for those Prime Day deals…available to Amazon Prime members!

by Kelly Mattei

Do It Now

Do it now.

My dad died at age 68 in 2006 after a battle with pancreatic cancer. As he lay dying, he reminded me to live my life. He reminded me to do the things I want to do…enjoy life!

Eleven years later, when I turned 50, I was talking with my mother and said, “I might only have 20 years that I can get around really well. I need to make sure I’m traveling to the places I want to go.” She looked at me with a sweet smile and reminded me, “When your daddy was your age, he didn’t have 20 years left. You need to make sure you are doing the things you want to do now and visiting the places you want to visit now.”

Mother died about six months after that conversation, but I remember her words every time I think of somewhere I want to go or something I want to see…and they mean even more now.

Six weeks ago, I was stricken with sciatica. I was just standing in my kitchen, and my back and leg started hurting. I wasn’t doing anything unusual. OK, so I was cooking, and maybe that’s unusual, but nothing strenuous. I thought, at the time, that it was just a weird backache. I went to the grocery store the next day, and while I was there, it started hurting so badly I could barely get through the store! A few days later, I went to Miami with my family, and for two solid days, I could barely walk…I shuffled like a 100-yr-old woman! The pain was real! In fact, the pain is still real six weeks later. It’s better, but it’s real. I have purchased almost everything I can think of to improve it, and some of it helps. I will list some items at the bottom of the page.

As silly as it sounds, when I first realized I had sciatica, visions of upcoming trips flashed before my eyes. Yes! That’s the truth! At the time, I had several vacations ahead of me. Since then, I have taken three of them, and honestly, I feel pretty sure those didn’t help my sciatica. I enjoyed the trips, even though I had to take some breaks from walking, but I didn’t give my back much time to rest. Hauling heavy luggage, even if it’s on wheels, is not the best thing for a back injury. We have another trip in a week, and this is the first time I’ve had two full weeks between trips. I’m resting my back a lot more but still walking a few miles a day (in small increments), and I’m hoping the sciatica will go away before a big trip in October. Did I say “hoping”? I mean praying. It’s slowly getting better, but I do feel like it’s improving.

Having sciatica has taught me a lot. It has taught me more compassion for people living with chronic pain. If you’ve never had chronic pain, it’s difficult to understand exactly how much it affects daily life. While dealing with sciatica, I have sat through entire conversations pretending to listen, simply because I couldn’t think of much more than the pain. Having sciatica has also reinforced what my parents told me: do it now! I remember Daddy telling me that we only get one life…no dress rehearsals…we need to make it good!

So here I am, on day 45 of sciatica. It’s better but not completely well. I have been to the doctor, and she told me it will definitely get better…with exercise, rest, and time.

I’ll keep you posted! Even while I have sciatica, though, I’m coming up with new places to visit and new things to see! Do it now!

***Items I have purchased to help my sciatica (ask your doctor before trying anything):

  • BeActive Plus leg brace. This was my first sciatica-improvement purchase. It’s a leg band that applies pressure to a trigger point along the sciatic nerve. Does it work? I don’t know, but I feel better when I use it! Purchase here.
  • TENS machine. Yes, I purchased my own TENS machine. In fact, I purchased two of them! The machines are supposed to control pain with electrical current. I can definitely say these have given me short-term relief, without a doubt. I purchased one for home use…get it here. And I got a wearable one for when I’m not home. See it here.
  • Gel Ice Pack. Ice, ice baby. It’s no joke. I have iced my back and butt every time I’ve gotten in the car and almost every time I’ve sat down at home. It helps decrease inflammation for sure. These gel ice packs are great to have around the house. Get them here.
  • Heating pad. Sometimes, I just need the muscles to relax. I have found one of the best things to give me relief is lying flat on my back on the bed with a pillow under my knees, which flattens the back. I put a heating pad under my lower back/butt, and it helps…especially before I fall asleep at night. Get one here.
  • Dr. Scholl’s Orthotics for Back Pain. I put these in my sneakers, and I plan to keep them in all my sneakers from now on. Basically, I have been wearing sneakers for most of the time I’ve had sciatica, with a few exceptions. Get the Dr. Scholl’s Orthotics for back pain here.
  • Aspercreme Lidocaine Patches. These definitely help some. I put one on my lower back and one on my lower leg, where the pain was excruciating. Get them here.
  • Salonpas patches. These are smaller than the Aspercreme patches, and they contain menthol and camphor instead of lidocaine, so they warm the area. They also have that wintergreen aroma, which is not my favorite, but whatever…they help, so I use them. They’re also less expensive than the Aspercreme patches, so I didn’t mind using them more often. Get them here.
  • Plantar Fasciitis socks. I felt like anything that adds extra support is helpful, so I purchased these, and I wear them. They’re not pretty, but I do feel like they help. Get them here.

If you’re suffering, I hope you feel better soon. My sciatica isn’t completely gone, but it’s much better, and I’m almost fully functional again.

by Kelly Mattei

How to Dry Clothes in a Pinch

How to dry clothes in a pinch.

I’m no Heloise, but I know how to get things done when I need them done.

You don’t know who Heloise is? Heloise is the woman behind a syndicated “household hints” column published in newspapers nationwide. It’s called Hints from Heloise, and if you can find a newspaper to read, you will likely find her column. She is also the author of several books of household hints. You can see those at Amazon here.

However, I did not have to consult with Heloise to find my handy dandy tips for drying clothes in a hurry. These are all things my mother taught me or that I learned elsewhere.

Yesterday, my daughter was going to the major league soccer game here in town, Charlotte FC vs FC Cincinnati. A friend was here with her as she was getting dressed, and when they came downstairs to leave, my daughter did not look happy. I asked, “What’s that frown?” She replied, “I don’t really like this outfit.” I thought she looked pretty and perfect for the game, but she went on to explain, “I wanted to wear my jean shorts, but they’re in the washing machine. How long would it take them to dry in the dryer?” I replied, “About 30 minutes, probably.” She groaned, “I’m already late. I can’t wait 30 minutes on top of my 25 minute drive.” Bad timing, I guess.

She and her friend got into the car to leave, and I could tell she was likely not going to have as much fun as she had hoped, because she simply didn’t feel great in what she was wearing. I stopped them just outside the garage and said, “Hold on. I know what to do.” I’ll get to that in a minute…

There are lots of ways to get clothes to dry more quickly:

  • If you have one article of clothing to dry, you can use a handheld hair dryer focused directly on it. Jeans are a heavy fabric, though, so it won’t be as quick as other fabrics.
  • Another way to dry one article of clothing quickly is to put it in the dryer with a couple of dry towels that will, hopefully, absorb some of the moisture as the items are tossed.
  • My mother used to iron clothes dry on occasion. She would put a light towel over the article of clothing, and with the iron on a high setting (no steam!), she would iron it until it was dry. It worked pretty well. I don’t do that, because I don’t even know where my iron is! No, we don’t walk around in wrinkled clothes; we use an upright steamer, but that won’t help get clothes dry, for sure.
  • Dryer balls are a great tool for drying clothes more quickly, because they keep the items in the dryer from clumping together, so the hot air can get to each item better. You can purchase them from Amazon here.
  • The most obvious thing to make clothes dry faster (but not in a pinch) is to make sure the lint filter and the hose out of the dryer are clean and clear of obstruction. That will make clothes dry more quickly on a regular basis.

There is one more method I can think of, and it’s the one my daughter used yesterday. You might think I’m crazy, but she wanted to wear those shorts so badly yesterday that she would have done just about anything. I knew the washing cycle was finished on the washing machine, and honestly, our machine has a really good spin cycle that gets most of the water out of the clothes. I knew they wouldn’t be dripping wet. I said, “Come inside and get your shorts out of the dryer while I get something else.” She met me back at the car with the shorts, and I had a belt from an old bathrobe. I said, “You’re going to think I’m crazy, but I have seen this done before (when I was a teenager), and it works.” I said, “You have some options since you drive a Jeep. You can open the top and hang the shorts from one of the crossbars, or you can open a window and hang it from one of the handles inside the Jeep, letting it hang in the window.” It was a beautiful, sunny afternoon, and with the temperature hovering around 90 degrees, I felt sure she had a good chance with this method. I warned her it would be a bad look to have jean shorts hanging like a flag, but since she had a 25 minute drive ahead of her, the shorts would likely be dry when she got to her destination. Her friend thought it was hilarious and was happy to hang them in her passenger-side window.

When they arrived at their destination, my daughter texted me, “It worked! The shorts are dry!”

She and her friends went to the soccer game and had a great time.

Obviously, this is not something to do in winter, but we used to do this in the 1980s when we went to the beach and needed our swimsuits or coverups to dry quickly. Don’t expect more “household hints” from me. That’s about all I have.

by Kelly Mattei

Preparing for 2nd Year of College

Preparing for 2nd year of college.

Last year, at this time, I was at a completely different place in life. My only child, a daughter, was preparing to leave for her freshman year of college 450 miles away from home…and me…450 miles away from me. Actually, for the most part, I was the one preparing. I’m not even sure she was giving it much thought, as she tried to relish every moment with her friends at home. I, however, was gathering everything I could think of that she might need for a dorm room. I was trying to have everything done, but there were definitely things I missed. You can read my piece titled College Nesting here. *See the bottom of this page for information about things you might need for a freshman dorm room that you haven’t considered.

But here we are, one year later, and it’s amazing how things have changed!

My daughter leaves in less than a month to start her sophomore year. Ask me how many times we have discussed bedding or dorm essentials. Zero. OK, maybe once…when I asked if I need to be worrying about her room in the sorority house, and she told me no. That’s it. I’m not even exactly sure what day we are taking her back! August 3rd? 4th? 5th? I have asked several times, but I get a different answer every time, and I’m not worried about it. We will take her when we take her.

Last year at this time, I was worried she might get homesick. She was fine. I was worried she wouldn’t know how to handle medical emergencies. She had a few and handled them like a pro! I was worried I would miss her so badly that my heart would break. It didn’t. I probably wasn’t as worried as most moms, because I’m just not a worrier, but I had a little bit of worry. I was mostly excited. I was excited about all the new friends she would make. I was excited for her to start classes. And yes, I was excited about becoming an empty-nester.

OK, so maybe “empty-nester” is a little extreme. No, she isn’t living in our nest full-time anymore, but we are paying all her bills. She is self-sufficient as far as taking care of herself, but financially…not one bit. So we are empty-nesters in that we have the house to ourselves most of the time, but the credit card bills would say otherwise.

Moms of college freshmen, if you’re wondering what you’ll be like in one year from now, I can’t tell you exactly, but I can tell you how things have played out for me. Life is a little quieter in some ways but more fun in some ways too. On a day-to-day basis, when our daughter is away at college, life is quieter. I have my hobbies. I have my friends. I have some work to do. I have plenty to keep myself busy, but it’s quieter around our house while she’s at school, for sure. This summer hasn’t been so quiet, because her friends have been in and out of the house all day and night when we have been home. How is it more fun since she left? Well, my husband and I have enjoyed some trips together that we wouldn’t have been able to make if our daughter were still in high school. Back then, we had to plan everything around the school calendar. Not anymore! Now, we just pick dates and go! Does that mean life is more fun without her around? No way! She is way more fun than either of us, so we always love having her with us.

We get really excited every time we get to see her!

Do I miss having my daughter around all the time? I definitely miss my time with her, but we talk everyday. She didn’t come home a lot during the school year, so we were excited when it was time for her to come home for summer! She had only been home for about a week when we remembered how much noisier our household is with her here. We enjoy her friends. We enjoy the silliness. But we don’t sleep as much when she’s here, because she is in and out of the house at all hours. It doesn’t bother me as much as it bothers my “disciplined” husband who believes he should go to sleep and wake up at the exact same time every single day of life. I’m less rigid, so it doesn’t bother me, but I have to listen to him. Ugh. I always say, “He just stays in my ear!” And that’s the truth, but I have to admit he’s getting better.

So what am I doing to prepare for her to go back to school? I’m not doing all the things I was doing last year. I’m not running around trying to find things for the dorm or dresses for sorority recruitment. I’m just relaxing. She’ll take care of it. She has a year of college experience behind her, and she knows what she needs.

***Dorm items you might not realize you need:

  • Clothes steamer. If your daughter is going to school in the south, she needs a steamer. I don’t care if it’s upright or handheld, she needs one. I sent my daughter and her roommate with an upright one, and they used it all the time. Purchase it here. (It’s a quality steamer!) For a quality handheld one, click here. Here’s my theory: an upright, to me, is easier to use, and no one will remove it from the room. A handheld one is much more likely to go missing when someone “borrows” it. Keep that in mind.
  • Bluetooth Speaker. They need it. Just trust me on this. JBL has a whole Amazon store. You can certainly find what you need here. My daughter needed her speaker, but I didn’t think of it in advance, so I took it when I went down for a football game. How did I not know she would need it? Back when I was in school, we played “getting ready” music; surely, they still do that? By the way, my own personal “get ready” music back in the day was Aretha Franklin’s Greatest Hits.
  • Swiffer. Dust bunnies collect fast in dorm rooms. Encourage your student to keep the floor in his/her room with a Swiffer. Purchase here.
  • Disinfecting Wipes. They might not even use them, but if they get the urge to wipe down the surfaces in their rooms, these work great, and they’re disposable! Purchase here.
  • Can and bottle opener. Last year, when my daughter wasn’t feeling well, a friend brought her a can of chicken noodle soup, but she couldn’t open it, because she didn’t have a can opener. Make sure your student has a can and bottle opener! Purchase here. And make sure they know how to use it beforehand! See some other cool gadgets for opening plastic soda bottles and jars here.
  • Laundry backpack. You can get baskets or bags, but laundry backpacks are a lot easier to carry! See them here.
  • Medicines. In the state where my daughter goes to college, people under 19 cannot purchase cold medicines…not even Benadryl! Therefore, I tried to think of every possible medical item she could need, and I packed them in boxes….bandages, Band-Aids, Neosporin, Motrin, Tylenol, Benadryl, Cortisone cream, allergy creams, cold meds, cough meds…and on the labels, I wrote when to use them…for cough, for fever, for headaches, for muscle aches, etc. I used plastic storage bins from Amazon. There are lots to choose from here.
  • Hulken Bag. I tell everyone about these all the time, because we have them, and we use them all the time! They’re especially helpful when taking things to and from the car. For example, if my daughter goes to the UPS Store to pick up packages, she might have several. It can be difficult to carry them all in, but she just puts them in her Hulken bag and pulls them in! See it here. I highly recommend them. And when you’re not using it, just fold it and put it away!

by Kelly Mattei

40 Years of Risky Business

40 years of Risky Business.

I find it difficult to believe that Risky Business was released 40 years ago…August 5, 1983. Wow.

I was 16 years old when the movie was released and thought I was all grown up! It’s funny to think about now, but at 16, I truly thought I knew a lot about the world. Oh, what life experience will teach us! I’m 56 now and know, without a doubt, that I know very little about the world, and at 16, I knew far less.

When the movie was released, I wasn’t old enough to get in. In most states back then, to see an R-rated movie, you had to be 17. In Alabama, though, you had to be 18…not that it mattered; I was 16 and looked 13. I had to wait until it was being shown at the cheap, second-run movie theatre…or what we called “the 99 cent movie,” because that was the price of admission. At “the 99 cent movie,” they didn’t check IDs for people wanting to see an R movie. I had to wait to see Purple Rain there too, but that’s a story for another day.

There is something about Risky Business that makes me feel nostalgic more than a lot of other movies of the time. Maybe it’s seeing a very young Tom Cruise dancing in his scivvies? Maybe it’s the “risky” plot? Maybe it’s the sheer fun of watching this soon-to-be Ivy Leaguer going through what he’s going through? Maybe it’s just remembering how much we talked about it with our friends in the 1980s?

I don’t even care much one way or the other about Tom Cruise these days, but I did in 1983! I had seen him in Taps and The Outsiders and thought he was easy on the eyes. He was also in a cheesy movie I watched over and over on HBO called Losin’ It. I’m sure it is a terrible movie, simply because the plot is terrible, but it also stars Shelly Long. I might rewatch it, if I can stomach it. If you remember the Porky’s movies of the 80s, Losin’ It has a similar flavor. Cruise also had a major role in the Pennsylvania high school football movie, All the Right Moves, and a very minor role in Endless Love with Brooke Shields. I think his character is named Billy, and he’s in one scene in the park…wearing cut-off jean shorts, or what we refer to now as “jorts.”

When Risky Business was released, Cruise became loved by many. He was on the covers of magazines. He was on talk shows…like when he was interviewed by Rona Barrett. You can see a very unaffected Cruise in the clip here. His love life was interesting to all of us. After some of his later movies and divorce from Nicole Kidman, I thought he was a little odd. After the divorce from Katie Holmes, well, let’s just say I’m #TeamKatie, but Cruise doesn’t care. He’s laughing all the way to the bank after the release of the Top Gun sequel last year.

I plan to watch Risky Business with my daughter this weekend. I feel like it’s a great glimpse into the 80s. She’ll laugh at the clothes and hairstyles, I’m sure (I will too!), but she will get a feel for the 80s. She’ll just have to sacrifice two hours to watch it with me. I haven’t seen it in years…years! However, I remember the effect it had on pop culture. The Ray-bans! The dance scene! The train scene! And the egg! Omg…the egg. I also remember how it launched Tom Cruise into stardom!

If you haven’t seen Risky Business in years but would like to, you can rent it or purchase it on Amazon here. And while you’re there, you should just go ahead and purchase the Ray-ban Wayfarers! See them here.

by Kelly Mattei

We Love Our Patio

We love our patio.

Most of our backyard is patio and pool. There is some grass, and I have a garden area, but most of the yard is patio and pool. Because most of the year has pretty mild temperatures in Charlotte, North Carolina, we get to enjoy it a lot.

During the spring of the pandemic (ugh, I hate even typing that word!), we were fortunate to have good weather. Starting the middle of March, our little family spent time on the patio almost every day. We had some great times with our friends and neighbors, but of course, at some point, we would always remember the “pandemic” that had interrupted all our lives. I wanted to jazz up the patio, just to give it a more fun feel, so I purchased some Solar Floating Pool Lights from Amazon (you can see them here), in hopes that I could throw them into the pool. They could absorb sunshine during the day and give us a color-changing light show(ish) at night!

They arrived, and I inflated them. I put them into the pool to absorb sunshine, so they would shine at night. We must not have had any breeze that day, because the floating pool lights didn’t seem to go rogue. But that night, when the wind picked up, all the floating lights skimmed across the water and “gathered” in one area of the pool. It just looked weird…not fun. So I got an idea…instead of using them in the pool, string them up and create a party light effect from the front of the poolhouse! Tacky? Yes! Fun? Yes, too! It just gave the patio a bit of color.

Those floating lights have been restrung on the front of the pool house a few times, but they’re still there! One of them split, and we had to replace it, but generally speaking, we keep six of them strung across the front of the pool house at all times. We used plain old fishing line and some hanging hooks…works like a charm! They add some colorful light without the hassle of electricity, reminding me every day that we found ways to have good times during the pandemic.

by Kelly Mattei

Moms and Sorority Rush

Moms and sorority rush.

*The photo above is a file photo from Wikimedia Commons in 2008. It should not be used as an example of “what to wear” during recruitment 2023.*

Yes, it’s a thing. Moms get involved in sorority rush at big southern schools. Does that mean they’re actively going from house to house with their daughters? No. Oh Lord, I hope not…for their own sake but especially for their daughters’ sakes. But yes, Moms help their daughters prepare for rush. They worry about them. They get nervous. They feel all pain and all excitement. Some of them might have been in sororities themselves, and they want their daughters to pledge their chapter. Perhaps a mom has expectations about some chapters offering her daughter a bid. Maybe another mom thinks her daughter couldn’t possibly be dropped by a house. Maybe another one is worried hers will be dropped by every house.

The truth of the matter is that every mom is different, and every girl’s rush experience is different, so different moms and daughters will have different approaches. However, there are some things that are pretty universal…or should be:

  • Help prepare. For information on recruitment preparation, click here. Mom should be calling all her friends asking if any of them are sorority members, and if so, would they write a recommendation for her daughter? She should help her daughter shop for dresses and for the all-important “rush bag.” (See info about the Rush Bag here.) Most moms I know also proofread/edit their daughters’ resumes…or ask someone else to do it. And she should remind her daughter that it is important to keep an open mind about the chapters while she participates in recruitment.
  • Be supportive and positive. This is a stressful time for the girls, so they need the support from Mom. They need reassurance. They need you to be their cheerleaders this week. They need their moms to tell them how much they believe in them.
  • Be realistic. You have likely seen a list of the sorority chapters’ required or recommended GPAs for potential new members. Take those seriously. Those recommendations are there for a reason. No chapter wants to take a grade risk, because the “grade risk” is more likely not to stay in school, based on her academic history. Sororities like to maintain their membership, so if someone fails out of school, it hurts the chapter.
  • Be sympathetic. If/when daughter calls Mom and says, “My favorite house dropped me,” Mom needs to be sympathetic but not enabling. Do not enable your daughter to drop out of the process. If she will stick it out, chances are she will end up where she belongs. Encourage her to continue with the process! If she still has houses inviting her back, then she can still land somewhere she will be happy.
  • Be smart. Remember, some of recruitment is a numbers game. There are different reasons people get dropped, and it’s not always personal. It might be that a chapter is focusing on a different geographic area. It might be that a chapter has a lot of in-house sisters. It might be a GPA issue. Or maybe they are simply looking for something else. Mom, as difficult as it is, remind your daughter not to take it personally.

What are the no-nos for Mom? Well, different people have different thoughts, but I think it’s important for Mom to let her daughter fly. Don’t hover. Get her moved into the dorm, and then, let her start rush without Mom looking over her shoulder. If Mom doesn’t hover, the daughter can make new friends more quickly. And mom shouldn’t put undue pressure on her daughter to pledge where she wants her to pledge.

Mom, you’re likely to feel like you’re going through recruitment with your daughter, and in some ways, you are, but when it comes right down to it…it’s your daughter’s experience. Let her make it her own.

by Kelly Mattei

Shopping for College Dorm Items?

Shopping for college dorm items?

Last year, at this time in summer, my daughter and I were spending a lot of time trying to figure out what she needed and wanted for her dorm room. We were fortunate her roommate’s mother is a designer, so for the decor, I just needed to write a check…no decisions to be made on my part. However, there were lots of other things to consider. FYI: Amazon Prime Days are July 11-12 this year, so keep that in mind. You can save loads of money on Prime Days. If you don’t have an Amazon Prime account, now is definitely the time to get one. Your student can get a prime account for half price…a little-known fact…and get a 6-month free trial! It’s worth it, for sure! Check out the student account here. There are lots of great dorm deals to be had on Amazon Prime Days.

Before I get any deeper into this, let me remind you to LABEL EVERYTHING THAT GOES INTO A DORM ROOM WITH YOUR STUDENT’S NAME. It’s no joke. Sure, things will still go missing, but if something is located, at least there will be no question about the ownership. You don’t need special labels. All you need is a Sharpie marker. I keep them at my house in bulk. You can order a box of them here. Or get just three here. I wrote my daughter’s name in the corners of her bath towels, hand towels, washcloths, and even in the tags of some of her clothes! I even write our names and phone numbers on luggage, just as a safeguard in case the tags are removed or fall off at the airport. I’m a crazy lady with a Sharpie, no doubt, but it came in handy, when there was a question about which towels were hers at move-out.

And did you know there are “invite-only deals” on Amazon? Yes! It’s a thing! Just click on the link here and scroll down to “invite-only deals.” Request an invitation, and on Prime Days, you’ll receive an email with the info to purchase the discounted item! It’s insanity!

Don’t forget there are daily deals on Amazon every single day for Prime members! To see today’s “off to college” deals, click here. At time of writing, I see deals on Amazon Fire TV, velvet hangers (you need these to save space in small dorm-room closets!), sheets, surge protectors, cordless vacuums, fans, storage bins, and more…up to 79% off some items! Get busy shopping now!

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by Kelly Mattei

Organize Your Retail Returns

Organize your retail returns.

I do a lot of online shopping. When I order, I don’t plan to return anything, but there are going to be times that things don’t work out. I’m not going to keep something that doesn’t fit well. I’m not going to keep something I don’t like. Therefore, I do have returns to make pretty regularly.

Anyone who does a lot of online shopping can tell you the returns can stack up quickly, and if you don’t stay organized, it can get confusing.

My solution is the Hulken bag…a lightweight, roomy bag with handles and wheels. I keep two next to the door in my room…one for Amazon returns and one for other returns (Nordstrom, Neiman Marcus, Anthropologie, etc). and when I have realize I have a return, I place it in the corresponding Hulken bag. Both of mine a medium bags. When I’m ready to make returns, I simply take the Hulken bag to my car. I make my Amazon returns at Whole Foods, so when I get there, I just pull my Hulken bag into the store, and voila! My returns are done! For other returns (Nordstrom, Anthropologie, Neiman Marcus), I take the other Hulken bag. If I decide to purchase something else while I’m there, I don’t have to get a bag from the retailer! I just put the new items in my Hulken bag!

Interestingly, Hulken is making their bags with zippered closure/covers now! They cost a little more (about $5 more) than the original, but they’re worth it.

Easy Peasy!

To get your Hulken bag, click here. I highly recommend the medium-size bag for everyday. For times you need something bigger (dorm move-in or move-out), I recommend the large-size bag. Keep in mind, there is a slight backlog on orders. Large bags will ship faster. Right now, it appears the ship date for medium bags is mid-July.

Happy Shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

The Only Pain I Want in My Life is…Champagne

The only pain I want in my life is champagne.

That’s not an original line from me. I saw it on a video on Instagram, but I’m taking it as my new motto. Why? Well, I’ve been suffering with sciatica for three weeks. Talk about pain! I have heard friends talk about the pain, but I had no idea exactly how painful it is! If you have never experienced it, count yourself among the lucky ones. It’s bad. Imagine a knife stabbing into your lower back, your butt cheek, and your leg…dragging all the way down your leg. Not kidding…it has brought me to tears several times, and I consider myself a person who has a pretty high pain threshold. The other bad thing about it? I don’t know if this will be a temporary situation or a permanent one!

We were just on vacation for a few days in Miami, and I was determined to enjoy my vacation, even with sciatica. I enjoyed it, but I suffered a lot too. Swimming pools are great for sciatica, and hot tubs are great for it too. I found a pretty powerful jet in the hot tub and focused it right on my back. Wow, sweet relief.

For three weeks, I have been praying that this pain will stop. I do my normal “sandwich method” prayer. I start with thanking God for something (a healthy daughter, a safe drive, etc). Next, in the middle, I ask Him to get rid of the pain. Then, on the other side of the sandwich, I thank Him again. I know it’s corny, but it’s how I like to pray. We have to be grateful, right?

I’m not kidding when I say the only pain I want is “champagne.” Honestly, I really like Prosecco too, but it didn’t fit in the motto. “The only pain I want in my life is Prosecco.” Yeah, that doesn’t work.

If you’re so inclined, send up some prayers for me….and feel free to stop by with a bottle of champagne (or Prosecco).