Tag / senior year

by Kelly Mattei

Don’t Sweat Fall Sorority Rush Yet

Don’t sweat fall sorority rush yet.

I have received three phone calls from worried friends this week. Their daughters are planning to participate in sorority rush in the fall at big southern schools, and they are worried they should be working on “rush stuff” right now. No. The answer is no. Let your daughter enjoy her senior year!

Mom, you can start thinking about the preparation, but there’s no need to be consumed by it. What can you do now? Look up which sororities have chapters at your daughter’s school. Start thinking of your friends who know your daughter; which ones were in sororities in college and would be willing and able to write recommendations for your daughter? Make a list in the notes on your phone. Or you can do like one of my friends and make a spreadsheet. I’m not Type A, so a spreadsheet was not my thing. I just made a list. Anytime you’re out and about and hear that someone is a member or alumna of a sorority, make a note of it in your phone.

If you’re thinking about hiring a rush consultant, that’s entirely up to you. We didn’t hire one for my daughter when she rushed, and she landed exactly where she wanted to be. I have lots of friends who have daughters who have rushed, and personally, I don’t know anyone who hired a consultant. And all my friends have daughters who are very happy with their rush choices. The hiring of a consultant is a personal choice.

Seriously, right now, just start compiling your recommendation list and having your daughter start working on her resumé. The girls cannot even make a complete resumé right now, because they don’t know what they’ll have to add before the end of the school year.

In May, have your daughter contact your friends who are sorority alumnae by phone, text, or email to ask them to write recommendations for her. This is something she needs to do herself, and she needs to ask people who actually know her. In a pinch, she can ask a friend of a friend. Recommendations are basically introductions of your daughter to the chapters, so she will want them to be able to write about her from personal knowledge. For example, when my neighbor’s daughter participated in “recruitment,” I was able to write a detailed recommendation/introduction of her, because I had first-hand knowledge of her personality and great attributes. Try to get recommendations to every chapter, and whatever you do, make sure your daughter does not say to any alumnae, “I’m only interested in sororities A, B, and C.” First, it sounds bad. Secondly, until rush begins, your daughter might think she knows what she likes, but she might change her mind. She also might not get invited to the ones she think she will.

You can start looking at dresses if you like. Spring dresses are coming out now, so it’s perfectly fine to start looking and even purchasing dresses she thinks she will wear. When shopping, look for fairly conservative dresses but not too conservative. Amanda Uprichard offers some great options at amandauprichard.com.

But right now, the main thing is to have rush in the back of your mind. Keep you ears and eyes open for people who can help with recommendations. Soak up every moment of senior year of high school, and enjoy having your daughter at home with you!

Here’s a rough timeline of preparation:

  • January-April: Find out which sororities have chapters on campus. Also, make a list/spreadsheet of sorority alumni who can write recommendations for your daughter. ***ALSO, make sure your daughter cleans up her social media…no alcohol or extreme photos.***
  • March-May: watch the university’s Panhellenic website to find out when registration is. At most southern universities, you can register for fall rush starting in May.
  • May-June: Your daughter can contact sorority alumni and ask for recommendations, telling them they will send their resumé soon.
  • June: create a resumé using the Canva app or another app. Distribute the resumé to the alumni who have agreed to write recommendations. Most sororities want digital recommendations now, so please don’t do old school “rush packets.” If you don’t know what that is, don’t worry about it…you don’t need to know.
  • July: make sure you have your rush wardrobe, and finish gathering everything for the “rush bag.” For more information on the rush bag, click here.
  • Late July/August: move her into her dorm and let the magic happen!

I will have posts later in the spring and summer with more information.

Mostly, relax. Don’t let your daughter get nervous about it.

***Over the next few days, I will be re-posting some posts about rush and preparation for it.***

by Kelly Mattei

Quarantine: March 1985

March 1985.

Thirty-five years ago.

It was my senior year in high school, and as spring break approached, I was feeling miserable. My mother took me to see Dr. Mracek, our family physician, and he said those words no high school senior wants to hear, “I think you have mono.” You know…mononucleosis…also known as “the kissing disease,” because it’s easily transmitted between teenagers. It was the last thing I wanted to hear, because at the time, for a teenager, it was a death sentence for all activities. Of course, I felt so badly that I couldn’t go anywhere, anyway.

My throat hurt. My head hurt. I had no energy. The mono test came back positive, and the doctor told me to stay in my bedroom and only leave it to go to the bathroom and take a shower/bath. He told my mother to get me a good multivitamin and keep the rest of the family away from me. He told her to get paper plates and plasticware for me…and get me my own salt and pepper shakers. He didn’t want the rest of the family to catch it. And he told me to stay hydrated. He also instructed me to stay out of school till he told me it was OK to return. I think people worried a lot more about mono back then, because I see kids returning to normal activities much more quickly after being diagnosed now. My mother, being a registered nurse, followed the doctor’s orders to the letter. I stayed in my room, but I didn’t really have the energy to do anything else anyway.

At 17, I couldn’t believe it. It was my senior year of high school. I was missing a spring break beach trip. It meant I would be home on Friday nights to watch The Love Boat and Fantasy Island. While that would have sounded awesome a few years earlier, as a senior in high school, it sounded terrible. Interestingly, I remember seeing the debut of Mr. Belvedere, a sitcom starring Bob Uecker and others, but since my family always watched sports, Uecker is the one I remember from the show. Uecker is a former baseball player who is the broadcaster for the Milwaukee Brewers, but he is also known for some Miller Lite ads he made in the 80s, using the tag line “I must be in the front row!” I still use that line regularly, but no one knows what I’m talking about when I do.

My bout with mononucleosis is my only “quarantine” experience. After missing spring break and a week or two of school, I was slowly allowed to return to half days, then full days of school. Eventually, I resumed all normal activities. By summer, I was feeling normal, and I was able to go off to college in August of that year.

Interestingly, that time of “quarantine” is just a blip on my radar now. I don’t remember much about it. I know I was heartbroken to be separated from friends and missing school activities, but while I remember that, I don’t feel it.  I don’t feel any sadness in looking back on it. I don’t feel sad about what I missed because of it. I missed a few months of normal activities, but now, it doesn’t matter. In fact, I feel pretty sure I had gotten over the sadness by the time I started college that fall.

Now, March 1985 is a distant memory, and one day, March 2020 will be a distant memory too. Because this COVID-19 pandemic is being experienced by the whole country, we will likely remember it more clearly…and hopefully learn from it… but my hope is that, eventually, we, as a country, will recover…just like my bout with mononucleosis. It will be a much bigger blip on the radar of life, but eventually, it will be behind us.

There will be recovery time from this. Lots of people have lost their lives and/or family members. Lots of folks have lost businesses and jobs. Lots of us have lost lots of money. I certainly don’t mean to make light of that, but I think we all need to look out for each other. It’s devastating…but our country will recover.

***I’m saying daily prayers for those who are suffering with COVID-19. I know there are lots of sick and dying people out there, and I pray for them and their families.***