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by Kelly Mattei

You Are Not Going to College with Your Child

You are not going to college with your child.

Why am I saying that? Well, because it seems lots of parents think they need to be involved with their child’s college experience. I’m here to tell you: you do not need to know anything, Mom. Even if you went to your child’s orientation session (or plan to attend), you don’t need to remember the information. College is your child’s job. It’s not your job. If you keep assisting your child with everything he/she needs to do/know, your child will never learn to do it on his/her own. Stick with me, and at the end of this piece, I will tell you what you can do to make your child’s transition to college more successful.

I think parents became more “helicopterish” with their college students when colleges and universities started offering orientation sessions for parents. No, just no. It makes me sick. I have said before that I went with my daughter two years ago, but I only went because it seemed everyone else was going, and I didn’t want her to feel like an orphan! I skipped out at lunch on the first day and never looked back. I simply couldn’t take it. It made me crazy that parents were asking questions kids should have been asking for themselves. If I had a second child, he/she would be going it alone, and I would feel great about it. You know why? Well, I truly believe those parent sessions are simply babysitting sessions to keep parents busy after they have traveled there. It wasn’t terrible, but I did not need to know the information they were putting out there. Where to park? I don’t care. Where to eat? I don’t care. I have already graduated from college…way back in the 1980s…and I figured it all out myself.

In 1985, my parents didn’t go to orientation with me! No way! I drove myself two hours to the university, found the dorm without a navigation system in my car, learned what I needed to know, made my schedule, and drove myself home…alone. In fact, I don’t recall seeing one parent at orientation at The University of Alabama in 1985!

And while I’m at it, allow me to also remind you that you don’t need to make your child’s academic schedule. Again, he/she needs to learn how to do it on his/her own. I see parents on the parent pages regularly talking about helping their kids make their schedules. What??? I don’t even know what classes my daughter is taking! And my parents never knew what classes I was taking!

Take a deep breath, Mom. Your child can navigate college without you. If you don’t believe that, maybe your child shouldn’t be going too far from home. Mine goes to a school 450 miles away, and it’s the greatest thing I ever did for her…letting her do college on her own. She takes care of herself and handles everything on her own, and we don’t waste our time talking about school. We talk about life and fun things, instead!

So, how can you help your child with the transition to college? I’m not a counselor or psychologist, but I am a mom, so I know a little bit. Here’s what you can do:

  • Help them prepare to outfit their dorm room. Gather what they need, and purchase what you don’t have. (Amazon Prime Days are coming up in mid-July, and there will be lots of dorm stuff on sale…a great time to get good prices! Come back to my site to get information on some special deals!)
  • Answer the phone when they call you…anytime, day or night. That first semester can be difficult, so they might need a sounding board. Be there for them. Be supportive. Be positive and encouraging.
  • Make sure they know what to do in emergency situations.
  • Provide whatever they need.
  • Most of all:

Let your little birdie fly! It might not be easy, but it’s important! They can do this! And you can too!

by Kelly Mattei

I Have Fallen in 39 States

I have fallen in 39 states.

OK, that might be an exaggeration, but probably not by much. I like to claim it’s not that I’m clumsy; maybe I just have bad spacial awareness? In reality, I think we all fall sometimes, but the women on my daddy’s side of the family seem more “predisposed” to falling for some reason.

A couple of years ago, I fell down the stairs in a restaurant in New Orleans…right in front of God and everybody! The result? Nothing. No broken bones. I remember another fall outside a bar in Gainesville, Florida, when I went down for an Alabama/Florida football game some years ago. Again…stairs. These were metal stairs on the outside of the bar. As we were leaving, I was holding the handrail, and that’s probably what kept me from literally dying when I slipped on the stairs. My feet still flew up into the air, but my hand kept me tethered to the rail, and the left side of my legs slammed back down onto those metal stairs. Oh my, the bruising! It was awful! But nothing was broken, and eventually, it was a distant memory. Now that I think about it, stairs seem to be the theme.

Earlier this week, I was reminded of those tumbles when I fell again! This time, I was home. I had gone upstairs to get some papers off the printer. We have been having some work done in our house, so I put a big box across the foot of our stairs to keep the dogs from going upstairs. I was walking down the stairs with my phone in one hand and the papers in the other. I tried to step over the box at the bottom of the stairs, but I guess I didn’t raise my foot high enough. It felt like it was in slow motion…my legs got all tangled up with the box, and I faceplanted into the foyer floor. Bam! In reality, it wasn’t an official “faceplant,” because I kept my face from hitting the floor, but my left elbow also dug into my ribs. After a brief second, I thought, “Is anything broken?” I felt like I had escaped unscathed…until later, when I knew I had done some rib damage with that elbow. It’s painful, and over the past couple of days, it has been difficult to roll over in bed, but I have faith that it will improve.

When I texted my friend, Jennifer, in Ohio, and told her about the fall, she texted back, “Were you hurt?” I replied, “Not badly.” She sent back laughing emojis, and said, “Since you’re not really hurt, I can’t stop laughing! I can see it in my mind!” She had been witness to the New Orleans fall, so it was probably pretty easy for her to conjure up that memory.

I have heard people say, when they are having a string of bad luck, that they are going to stay home to avoid injury. I’m here to tell you, “It doesn’t work that way.” You can still get hurt in the comfort of your own home. I remember my mother stepping over a baby gate and breaking her arm…like really breaking it…she had to have surgery. So yes, injuries can happen in the safety of your own home, for sure. Can an airplane fall onto your house? Well, it’s not likely, but it has happened. It’s probably more likely these days that an airplane part will fall off a particular brand of plane, but I digress.

Here’s the moral of the story: be careful, even at home! Make sure your foot clears that baby gate or box. Take care not to slip in the shower. Don’t walk around in sock feet, unless you’re wearing non-slip socks like the ones you can get at Amazon here. And if you’re going to be accident prone, maybe someone will catch a fall on video, so you can submit it to one of those TV shows and win some money for your fall!

Maybe I need to pull the security footage in our foyer!

by Kelly Mattei

Keep Passing the Open Windows

Keep passing the open windows.

Words to live by, if you understand the meaning behind them. In 1990, my mother gave me a hardback copy of The Hotel New Hampshire by John Irving. I probably wouldn’t have picked it up if I had seen it in a bookstore, but since she gave it to me, I read it. And I loved it. Yes, it’s a weird novel…a little absurd…but it’s good. It’s memorable. If you’ve ever read John Irving, you know he has some pretty crazy ideas in Cider House Rules, A Prayer for Own Meany and The World According to Garp, and The Hotel New Hampshire is no exception. It was also made into a film starring Rob Lowe, Jodie Foster, Beau Bridges, and more, but the film did not do well. In fact, when I met Rob Lowe a few years ago, I mentioned it, and he said, “YOU are the one person who saw it!”

In the novel, the Berry family often uses the catchphrase “keep passing the open windows” to encourage each other to persevere, keep moving forward. It comes from a story the parents tell of a street performer who killed himself by jumping out a window. “Keep passing the open windows” is a phrase they use to tell their kids, when things get bad, keep moving forward. The windows are there, but refrain from jumping through them.

It’s a metaphor. Don’t think I’m saying “keep passing the open windows” to someone considering suicide. That’s a lot more complicated. But smaller issues or problems? “Keep passing the open windows” might be exactly what a friend or family member needs to hear. Persevere. Keep moving forward.

Personally, I have thought of this phrase many times in my life, and I have said it and explained it many times over the years. In fact, I have likely used it several times in the last month! If my daughter calls and tells me she didn’t do well on a test in college, it’s what I say, “Keep passing the open windows.”

Last night, my college football team lost a big game in the playoffs. And you know what I thought? “Keep passing the open windows.” No, I was not contemplating suicide. The loss was simply a blip on the radar of life…nothing big, for sure. Life and death…that’s important. College football games = not important. However, I still needed to manage the disappointment, and for me, the key to managing disappointment (or passing the open windows) is having something else to look forward to all the time. Right now, I have a trip planned with a friend in 10 days, so after my team lost and I knew they wouldn’t be in the National Championship, I turned my attention to the trip I have coming up. I pivoted my attention to that trip! Is it always easy? No, but it’s pretty easy after the minor problem of a football loss, and it’s always a lot easier if I already have something fun planned, so disappointment won’t hit me so hard. It works for me! I’m not one bit sad today about that loss, because I know there’s some fun ahead!

Find your way of passing the open windows when you’re disappointed. It sure makes it easier to keep moving forward.

Keep passing the open windows.

***If you’d like to read some John Irving novels (I highly recommend them!), you can purchase them at Amazon. My personal favorites are A Prayer for Owen Meany (click here), The Hotel New Hampshire (click here), and Cider House Rules (click here).

by Kelly Mattei

Wrapping Gifts

Wrapping gifts.

I love wrapping Christmas gifts. I am the person who, usually, wraps them as I get them. That way, I’m not all in a kerfuffle on Christmas Eve trying to balance my glass of Prosecco and wrap gifts at the same time. I learned several years ago that wrapping in advance was the way to go, because I fell ice skating on Christmas Eve and broke my wrist but still had gifts to wrap! Try wrapping gifts with a broken wrist! So yes, I try to do it as soon as I walk in the house with the gift.

Throughout life, I haven’t been known for my gift-wrapping skills. My mother made me start wrapping birthday gifts for my friends when I was in kindergarten, but that doesn’t mean I was good at it. When I was in middle school and high school, however, I would purchase gifts at department stores that offered free gift wrap…just show the receipt with the gift and get everything wrapped for free! Ahhh…the good old days, when department stores hired school teachers as temporary gift-wrappers during the holidays. We would arrive at the gift-wrap department to see our teachers working hard behind the counter…tearing paper off the big rolls and speedily wrapping our gifts for our parents.

These days, I love shopping at locally-owned boutiques that offer gift-wrapping services (The Buttercup on Providence Rd in Charlotte!), but I also love wrapping gifts. My skills have improved over the years, but I have never claimed to be really good at it…until now!

Earlier this week, I went to a Favorite Things party, where each attendee brought a wrapped gift…something they love…and put it with all the other gifts. Each person picked a number, and in numbered order, they picked a gift out of the pile. My “favorite thing” contribution to the pile was a book from Southern Living called Southern Cocktails, which you can purchase here. When the recipient picked it up, she remarked that it was beautifully wrapped, and as silly as it sounds, I found myself feeling elated to hear that! I guess my skills have improved over time! I had wrapped it in a vintage-print paper with a red and green hand-tied bow, and I was so proud that you’d have thought I had discovered a cure for polio! Of course, I held in my elation, because how silly would it have been for me to look too proud of my wrapping?!? Once she removed the wrapping, the recipient also loved the book! It has some great recipes for cocktails, so I highly recommend it.

Personally, I have always thought of gift-wrapping as an art. I don’t consider myself an artist, but I think I do a pretty good job! And all my gifts for this Christmas are wrapped, so if you need help with wrapping, and you live in Charlotte, I’m happy to come over and help!

You’ll just need to supply the gifts, the wrapping paper, tape, ribbons, and a bottle of Prosecco.

***My links for Amazon are affiliate links, so I will receive a commission for items purchase through the links.

by Kelly Mattei

Last Minute Great Gifts

Last minute great gifts. Still have some shopping to do? Here are some items for everyone on your list. Seriously, I’m trying to make your life easier by providing links, so all you have to do is click and purchase!

  • Push Pin Travel Map. A framed world map made for push pins to mark places visited? Yes, please! If someone on your list is a world traveler, this is a great gift! Purchase here.

  • Doodle Dazzles Shimmer Marker Set. I don’t even know where I saw these, but they are awesome! I like to “doodle” and practice different writing styles, and when I was in college, I would have loved these for personalizing gifts! They make a great stocking stuffer! Purchase here.

  • Scarf ring. Another great stocking stuffer! I was out at breakfast with a friend yesterday, and she was wearing a lovely scarf. The hostess at the restaurant admired it, and it occurred to me that not everyone has a scarf ring! I have some, and now I need to remember to use them! Get them here. Purchase here.

  • Space Heater. Sometimes, we don’t want to heat a whole big space; maybe I just want warm feet? Or maybe I just want a little warmth in the bathroom when I step out of the shower! My mother loved a good space heater when she was watching TV. Purchase here.

  • AirFort. What kid wouldn’t love an easily-inflatable “fort”? I know mine would have loved it when she was a little girl! She might even enjoy it now, and she’s 20! Connect them to a box fan, and they self-inflate! Great for indoor play! They come in lots of different styles…space shuttle, cottage, mushroom…check them out and purchase here.

  • Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask. I just got home from a “favorite things party,” and one of the hot items was a Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask. My daughter has this product and loves it, but now that I know lots of other people love it too, I’m offering you the link! It’s to be applied at bedtime…wake up with soft lips! This makes a great stocking stuffer or gift. Purchase here.

  • Southern Cocktails. For your friend who loves to try new cocktail recipes, this book makes a great gift! Someone gave it to me, and I love it! From the editors of Southern Living. Purchase here.

  • Preseasoned Cast Iron Skillet. Every southerner needs a preseasoned cast iron skillet (or two!). Heck maybe everyone in the world should have one! They can be used stovetop, in the oven, or over a fire! And nothing cooks cornbread, skillet corn, sauteed or pan roasted veggies, or even latkes like a seasoned cast iron skillet! Seriously, if someone on your list doesn’t own one, this makes a great gift. Just make sure they have cleaning instructions, so they don’t mess it up! Get an inexpensive version here. Or support small business with Backcountry brand here.

  • Neroli Soap, Body Wash, and hand cream. I don’t know why, but my favorite scent is orange blossom, also known as neroli. Therefore, I love this soap. Someone gave it to me, and I think it makes a fantastic stocking stuffer! If neroli is not your preferred scent, they offer others. Get it here. Or get the bath gel here. Or hand and nail cream here.

Happy Shopping!

***As an Amazon Associate, I receive commissions on items purchased through the links I provide.

by Kelly Mattei

More Great Gifts for 2023

More great gifts for 2023…

December is here! It’s time to get serious about Christmas shopping! Get the gifts now! If you live in Charlotte and need help wrapping gifts, send me a message. I love wrapping gifts, so I’ll be happy to help if I can! Here are some great gifts:

  • Personalized Neon Sign. This is a great gift for kids, teens, and even great for college students. When our daughter lived in a dorm last year, I saw lots of these in dorm rooms. With prices starting under $30, they are a great personal gift. Highly recommend! Order now, because they are made to order. You pick the size, color, shape, and name, and they’ll make the sign and ship it to you. Delivery time varies by destination. Right now, to have it delivered to Charlotte, it will arrive between December 15 and 21, so serious…don’t wait. Just order it now here.

  • Beanie with Light. Someone on your list spend time outdoors at night? Maybe Dad likes to chop firewood at night? Maybe sis likes to go for a run at night? These beanies are awesome with their built-in headlamps. See great options for all here. Or see a more feminine option with pompom here.

  • Turtleneck Tunic Sweater. I have several of these in black, green, and brown. I love them, obviously. Get one for Mom here. They run true to size.

  • Grabber Tool. Men love gadgets. I don’t know why, but they do. This would be a great gift for my husband or my brother. When my brother was a little boy, his favorite gift ever was probably a flashlight…and I’ll get to one of those next. For now, this grabber tool that offers a magnetic option will be a welcome gift this holiday season. Get it here. He will look for reasons to use it.

  • Superbright Handheld Flashlights. Men and boys love flashlights. This one isn’t a great idea for a young child, because the brightness is extreme, but it’s great for a man who hunts or camps. Heck, my husband doesn’t participate in either of those activities, but he loves a good flashlight to spot animals in trees. Get two in this package. Purchase here.

  • Flashlights for kids. Here are some options for kids. For very young kids, there’s the V-tech spin and learn color flashlight here. For older kids, get the Tokeyla rechargeable flashlight here.

  • Personalized Blanket. For another great personalized gift, a blanket might be a great idea for someone on your list. My daughter has a personalized blanket someone gave her ten years ago, and she still uses it all the time. Order soon to have it delivered by Christmas! Get it here.

  • Personalized Toiletry Kit for Men. This is a great gift for the man in your life, but order now for timely delivery. Purchase here.

  • Satin Pillowcase. This one is inexpensive, but it still helps keep hair smooth and shiny, and it helps keep skin looking younger. Get it here.

  • REST Cooling Comforter. Holy Cow! We got one of these several weeks ago, and I have never slept better! Get it here.

  • US Map Picture Frame. For the traveler on your list, this is a great gift! I’m getting one for our daughter. She has been to lots of states, and I hope to make sure she visits more soon! Place a photo in each state you’ve visited. It’s awesome. Get it here.

HAPPY HOLIDAY SHOPPING!

by Kelly Mattei

Holiday Gifts for the Joe Namath Fan

Holiday Gifts for the Joe Namath Fan.

Lots of my readers love Joe Namath. My posts about his books and my adventure to his hometown of Beaver Falls are consistently the most-read posts on my blog…year after year. I love Joe too. If you’re looking for a gift for a Joe Namath fan on your list, I have some ideas…all of which I would love to receive myself (hint, hint).

  • All the Way: My Life in Four Quarters by Joe Namath. My friend, Linda, gave me this book for my birthday in 2019. Not kidding…I read it straight through in a day. The man has lived a fascinating life. It’s available in paperback, hardback, and even on Audible and Kindle. Highly recommend. Get it here. Or get a signed copy (what a great gift!) here.

  • Joe Namath Facsimile Signed NY Jets Jersey. Any good fan would love a Namath jersey. Can I get one to wear to his restaurant in Florida, in hopes he’ll be there and talk to me?!?! Lol! All kidding aside, this is a great gift at $74.99. Get it here. See other Namath jersey options on Amazon here.

  • Namath: a Biography by Mark Kriegel. Yes, I have read this one too. In fact, I have it in my living room. Another great one with some fun stories about Broadway Joe. Get it here.

  • Joe Namath Poster. Get it framed or leave it unframed. It’s a great gift for a Namath fan. Pricing starts at $15. Get it here.

  • Namath: My Son Joe by Rose Szolnoki. Written by Joe’s mom in 1975, this is a look at Joe Willie from a different perspective. Get it here.

Or check out lots of other Joe Namath gifts here. From bobbleheads to Christmas ornaments and books and posters and more…lots of great Namath merchandise.

Happy Holiday Shopping!

As an Amazon associate, I receive commission on items purchased through these links.

by Kelly Mattei

Have A Gamer On Your List?

Have a gamer on your list?

If so, this video game chair could be the perfect gift! For about $100, the gamer on your list gets a headrest, a footrest, and lumbar support! Get it while supplies last here.

by Kelly Mattei

Moms Make Things Happen

Moms make things happen.

I just read an article in Inc. Magazine about how United Airlines lost a teenager’s luggage containing $2000 of lacrosse gear and how her mom took matters into her own hands to get it back. Because her daughter had put an Apple Air Tag tracking device in her bag, Mom could see the bag was at baggage claim in Chicago, even though the airline said it had never left Baltimore. Tired of waiting for the airline to solve the problem, she cashed in some frequent flyer miles to fly from her home in Denver to Chicago, where the bag was sitting in unclaimed baggage area, retrieved the bag, and took the bag home with her. You go, girl! You can read the article here.

I have to tell you: I wasn’t surprised one bit to read that a mother who didn’t trust the airline to get the bag back to her daughter was the one who solved the problem in her own way. Moms make things happen. No, not every mom could or would go to extremes to help their kids, but lots of us would. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean helping them in ways that will hurt them. I don’t mean doing their homework. I don’t mean posting on the college parents’ page asking for tutors for their college student or trying to help them find friends. I don’t mean rescuing them from every bad situation. Kids need to learn to handle things on their own. However, sometimes a teen is not equipped to handle something.

And that’s where Mom comes in.

I truly believe being a mom is the single most important job in the world. Sure, we need a president. We need doctors. We need coaches and teachers, but Mom? A good mom is multi-talented and has knowledge about lots of things. A good mom nurtures, acting as a nurse. A good mom listens, acting as a counselor. A good mom encourages, acting as a coach. A good mom teaches, acting as a teacher. A good mom protects, acting as a security officer. A good mom guides, acting as a captain. A good mom instills morals/beliefs, acting as a spiritual leader. A good mom nourishes, acting as a chef. A good mom puts in the time. A good mom does it all. A good mom makes things happen.

One thing I know for sure: my daughter knows I always have her back. I always have her best interest at heart…just like my mom did before I lost her six years ago. She knows I will hop on a plane to help her. She also knows I will not live her life for her. I wouldn’t dream of calling or emailing a college professor. I won’t try to find friends for her or tutors. She has learned her own problem-solving skills by doing things herself…and by observing over the years.

But would I catch a flight to pick up her bag filled with lacrosse gear that had been abandoned by an airline in an airport? You bet your sweet bippy!

So am I surprised the mom in Denver flew to Chicago to fetch her daughter’s bag? Not one bit.

There are, however, some lessons to be learned here. First, when you fly, ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOUR CHECKED BAG IS TAGGED FOR YOUR FINAL DESTINATION…look at the check bag tag and make sure it has “Los Angeles/LAX” (or your destination) on it before releasing it to an agent. Second lesson? Purchase some Apple Air Tags or Tile Pros to stick in your checked bags, so you know where they are! You won’t be surprised to know that, after reading about the girl’s luggage issues, I’m purchasing some Apple Air Tags and some Tile Pros for our family for Christmas. Purchase Tile Pros here. Purchase Apple Air Tags here. They make great Christmas gifts and stocking stuffers!

***As an Amazon associate, I receive commissions on items purchased through the links I provide.

by Kelly Mattei

Amazon Black Friday Deals

Amazon Black Friday Deals of all kinds! Scroll through to see deals on kitchen products, toys, electronics, and fun stuff!

  • Kitchenaid Mixers. It’s rare to see a Kitchenaid Mixer on sale, but some are 27% off now. If someone on your list loves to bake, this could be a great gift. I love mine. See Kitchenaid sale items here.
  • Bose Headphones and more. Get up to 40% off some Bose headphones, noise cancelling earbuds, and other products! Have a college student or frequent traveler on your list? Noise cancelling headphones and earbuds are great for dorms and airplanes. See their sale items here.
  • LG Televisions. Someone on your list asking for a quality television? LG is awesome. Yes, they’re pricey, but lots of people say they are worth every penny. Now, you can get them on sale at Amazon…up to 39% OFF! See them here.
  • Fitbit Fitness Trackers. For the people on your list who like to keep track of their exercise…or the one who should be keeping track of it…Fitbit offers some great gifts. And now, they are up to 38% off at Amazon! See their offerings here.
  • DeLonghi Kitchen Appliance. Get up to 42% off DeLonghi kitchen appliances, including some coffeemakers, espresso machines, grills, and more. See what they’re offering here.
  • Bluey Character Toys. Does a child on your list love Bluey? Chance are…if there’s a child on your list, Bluey is a favorite. Lots of Bluey products are on sale…up to 48% off. See the specials here.
  • Peppa Pig Toys. I know Peppa Pig is a favorite of children everywhere. If there is a child on your list who loves Peppa, here’s an opportunity to take advantage of some deals on Peppa Pig toys. See them here.
  • Designer Sale. If someone on your list likes high end handbags, clothes, and shoes, you need to check out the designer pages on Amazon…something you might not even know about! Some items are pre-loved, but right now, you can take advantage of some discounts. For info, click here.
  • Apple Watch SE (2nd Gen). Get an Apple Watch SE (2nd Gen) for as low as $179! That’s an incredible deal! See them here.
  • E-scooters, E-bikes, and Electric Go Karts. Up to 61% off e-scooters, e-bikes, and electric go karts for all ages at Amazon. College students love e-scooters. Folks of all ages love e-bikes. See them here.
  • FOCO Licensed College Apparel and Accessories. Lots of licensed apparel and accessories on sale! If someone on your list has a favorite college team, you might be able to get them something here. Click here.
  • FUNBOY Products. Y’all, I love FUNBOY products…from pool floats to sleds, they’re a hit at my house! Check out their Amazon store and see their featured deals here.
  • Hammerhead Sled. Y’all, our daughter is 20 years old and has gotten a sled for Christmas every year of her life. She has a few of these Hammerhead sleds, because they are the best, fastest, zippiest ever! You can get it for half price right now while supplies last! See it here.

There you have it…get busy shopping to take advantage of these deals.

***As an Amazon associate, I receive commissions on products purchased through my links.***

HAPPY HOLIDAY SHOPPING!