Category / hope

by Kelly Mattei

Best Items I Purchased On Amazon This Year

Best items I purchased on Amazon this year (so far).

The year’s not over, but for those who might want to do some holiday shopping, I have listed more than 20 of my “best purchases” to share, starting in January of 2024. It’s a big mix of price points and products. You might have seen some of them before, but there are likely some you haven’t seen! These would make great gifts for family, friends, or party hosts/hostesses! Here we go…

  • Amazon Fire TV. I purchased one for my daughter’s bedroom at school and then turned around and purchased one for use on our back patio! At $99 right now, you cannot beat the deal on this Smart TV! Get it here.
  • Bible Jar. It’s a little thing that can make a big difference. I sent one to my daughter, and I sent one to myself too! Inside the jar are Bible verses that are color-coded to your needs. Feeling anxious? Angry? Happy? Sad? Lonely? It’s all there, and you can just pull out a color-coded verse. It makes a great gift. Right now it’s priced under $15. Get it at Amazon here.
  • Lolavie Glossing Detangler. I love this stuff! It makes my hair smooth and shiny, and it doesn’t take much to get the desired effect! I stumbled upon it as a free gift when I purchased something, and then I had to go buy it at Amazon! Get it here.

  • Amazon Essentials Women’s Lightweight Terry Joggers. Y’all, I feel like I’m walking around in my pajamas when I go out in these, but they aren’t pajamas. They’re just that comfortable! Pair them with a tunic sweater, and they’re great for airline travel. Priced at $19. Get them here.
  • Colorful Crystal Hoop Earrings. Sure, I have some nicer earrings, but these are colorful and match almost everything! These are great for travel, because you can wear them with so many things, day or night! They’re priced right at under $15, so if you lose one, you won’t sweat it. In fact, go ahead and buy two pairs on the front end! Get them here.
  • Seekway Water Shoes. I ordered these on a whim right before we went to the Bahamas, and after we got there, I realized how smart I was! Wow! I could walk around the beach and sandbars without worrying about stepping on sharp objects. I love them! They come in lots of colors, and the price is right! Get them here.
  • Foot Massager. This is listed as a foot massager, but it’s more of a TENS machine for the feet, and I love it. It folds up nicely in my suitcase, so I can take it anywhere I go! When I have been on my feet all day, it helps my feet and legs relax. Or if I’m struggling with Restless Leg Syndrome at night, this will sometimes help. Priced under $40, and there’s an 8% off coupon you can use with it at time of writing. Get it here.
  • Neoprene Socks. This goes back to a trip to the Bahamas. I purchased these neoprene socks to wear under my fins when I’m snorkeling, so the fins don’t rub blisters on my heels or toes. They work great, and they’re even helpful when walking on the beach too. Priced under $15 at time of writing. Get them here.
  • Personal Air Cooler. Sometimes, hotel air conditioners just don’t get the job done. A fan helps, but a personal air cooler really helps. It’s the difference in good sleep and no sleep. This one is small enough to fit into my suitcase, and from the nightstand, it blows cool air directly on my face or the back of my neck. I love it. Highly recommend, and it’s 30% off right now! Get it here.
  • Yukon Charlie’s Hammerhead Sled. Greatest sled ever made, if you’re asking me! We have enjoyed Yukon Charlie’s Hammerhead Sleds for years! It’s fast, sturdy, and somewhat steerable. At $199, it’s expensive, but the kids will love it if it snows! Get it here.
  • JBL Vibe Beam or JBL Vibe Buds. I have purchased both of these wireless ear buds, and I love both of them. I guess it’s just personal preference. I can tell you this…I will not purchase any more Apple Air Pods. I lose them too easily, and these are much less expensive and more comfortable. Get the Beam here. Get the Buds here.
  • Stitch Gun, Tagging Gun for Clothes. Y’all, how did I live without this?!?! It has saved me so many times since I purchased it! Dress too low cut? Put a stitch in it! Bra strap keeps showing? Stitch the shirt to it! And yes, i have hemmed pants with it when necessary. Sooo many uses! I love it! Highly recommend! Get it here.
  • Milani Violet Eyelash Primer. I have tried “high dollar” eyelash primers and none have worked as well as this one. This is a secret I almost kept to myself, but you can get it here! It would make a great stocking stuffer!
  • CorDx TyFast 10 Mins Flu A/B & Covid-19 test. Quick and easy! I used this last week when I needed to know if what I had was a cold, the flu, or Covid. It was a cold. I used something similar earlier this year to find out I had flu, but this one is much less expensive. Keep this in your house this winter! Get it here!
  • Window Alarm System 4-Pack. For peace of mind, I got these for my daughter and all her college roommates. It’s easy to install! Get it here.
  • Dr. Barbara Sturm Glow Cream. This is not something I purchased myself, but someone gifted it to me! It’s expensive, but I love it. I use it very sparingly, because it is so expensive. Someone on your list would likely love it! Get it here.
  • Arched Floor Mirror. My daughter needed a full-length mirror for her bedroom in her apartment, and this one does not have to be mounted to the wall. It comes with a stand! Get it here!
  • Round Nightstand Table. When I purchased this for our daughter’s apartment, I thought it was probably going to be junky, but it’s not! She loves it! It required some easy assembly. It looks great in her room! Get it here.
  • Pietro Simone Skincare Dewy Reboot. This serum, while pricy, uses peptides to provide an “intense epidermis reboot.” Love this stuff. A little goes a long way. It would be a great gift for the person who wouldn’t spend it on themselves. Get it here.
  • Rainbow Loom. Hands down, this is one of the greatest inventions ever for kids of all ages. My daughter got her first Rainbow Loom in elementary school. Now that she is a junior in college, she will still pick it up and make some silly rubberband bracelets to relax. It’s a great gift and inexpensive! Get it here.
  • Pawland Wooden Freestanding Pet Gates. My friend, Meg, told me about these when I was complaining about our dogs hanging out in our dining room. These solved the problem! I highly recommend these if you want to make certain spaces off limits to your pets. Get it here.
  • Peter Thomas Roth Instant Eye Tightener. Yes, I bought it, and yes, it works. It’s temporary, but it does work. I had some friends over this summer, and they liked it so much that they went out and bought some too! I haven’t purchased the face tightener, but they said it works too! Get the eye tightener here, and the face tightener here.
  • Hollywood Vanity Mirror. Another purchase for our daughter’s bedroom in her apartment, she uses this every day. Easy setup and operation. Get it here.
  • Credit Card Holder Wallet with RFID protection. I bought one of these for myself when I went to Mexico City earlier this year. Then, one day, my daughter’s friend saw it when we were at dinner, and she loved it! She thought it was a designer label. I ended up ordering them for my daughter and her friend! They make great gifts, and they’re inexpensive. Get the credit card holder here. And the larger credit card wallet here.
  • Thermacell Patio Mosquito Protection. It works! This small machine and its cartridges protect you from mosquitoes. I know, because it even works for me, and mosquitoes seek me out in a crowd! It’s a great gift! Get it here.
  • Deco 79 Recycled Glass Tall Vase. I needed a tall vase for my foyer, and this one did the trick! We love it! Get it here!
  • Meiz Pregnancy Pillow. No, I’m not pregnant. I’m 57, but I love this pregnancy pillow. I have used other brands, but this one is my all time favorite. I sleep so much better with this pillow. The only problem? I can’t travel with it. And yes, it’s also great for pregnant women! Get one here.
  • Lenox Blue Bay Colors Dinnerware. I changed colors in my kitchen this year. I have another “nicer” set of everyday dinnerware, but I wanted to add this to mix and match. I love them. Get them here.
  • Naturalizer Womens Amble Block Heel Loafer. Y’all, these look way more expensive than they are, and I love the tall block heel. They have a little platform, too, so the heel doesn’t feel as tall. I have worn them with pants, but now that it’s getting cooler, I will wear them with dresses and tights too! Get them here.
  • SANTINY Womens Joggers. These are stretchy but look better than joggers, if that makes sense. They almost look like dressier pants. I have them in two camouflage shades and black, and they look great with sweaters or blouses…or even a denim top or jacket. Get them here.

Happy Shopping! All these items have been great purchases (or gifts) for me! ***I might receive commission on items purchased from Amazon through my links.***

by Kelly Mattei

Don’t Pick Up the Shoes

Don’t pick up the shoes.

I saw a Facebook post today on a page called Alabama News and Comment. It’s a page from the news division of Alabama’s Radio Station, 101.9 Fox-FM. It appears to be a station out of Birmingham. Don’t ask me how I got to the page, because I have no idea. It was one of many squirrels my brain chased today. And this time, I ended up on Alabama News and Comment, reading a piece about a woman picking up her husband’s shoes. You can see it on Facebook here.

My husband picks up his own shoes, so I don’t think I have ever had to pick them up for him, but it made me think of my parents.

My parents were married for 45 years before my Daddy died. He was young, just 68, and died of pancreatic cancer. Many times, though, during his retirement years, he would take off his shoes in the living room and leave them underneath the coffee table. I’m guessing he usually carried his own shoes to the closet, but it was something I never gave any attention at the time.

And then, in 2006, Daddy died.

We did what families do. We supported each other for a few days, and then my little family returned to Charlotte to resume our lives. We settled back into real life. About a month later, I decided we needed to go visit Mother; she’d had time to rest and recuperate after months of caring for Daddy, and I thought she needed company.

Upon arrival at my parents’ home, I saw Mother standing outside waiting for us, but I didn’t see Daddy. Of course, I didn’t see him, because he had passed away a month before, but his absence hit me hard. I got out of the car with tears streaming down my face, and Mother said, “I should have warned you how difficult your first visit back would be…your first visit without him here.” She knew, because she had lost her own Daddy. It had never occurred to me how the absence of Daddy would take my breath away. But it did.

We all went inside and sat down in the living room, and that’s when I saw Daddy’s shoes under the coffee table. I looked at them, and I looked at Mother. Her eyes met mine. I didn’t even have to say anything. She simply said, “I can’t move them.” I cried again, but I understood. Seeing those shoes where Daddy left them likely made her feel a little like he was still there. It was a small way of tricking her brain into feeling like Daddy was still there…a comfort. As I read the piece on Facebook today, my brain went straight to that time, and I thought, “One day you might want to see his shoes in the living room.”

Life is like that. Sometimes the things we never think we will miss are the very things we miss…or even the things we find comfort in. When our daughter was a toddler and didn’t sleep well, many times I would have to go upstairs and lie down with her. My husband and I shared a doctor at the time (a mistake I won’t make again in this lifetime), and when he was at the doctor, he mentioned it in passing to “our” doctor. The next time I was there, she opted to lecture me about how bad that was for me and for our daughter. It angered me greatly, because frankly, I thought it was none of her business, and soon thereafter, I found another doctor. What did I know that the doctor didn’t know? I knew we all parent differently, and I knew myself far better than she knew me. I knew, in my infinite wisdom, that one day, I would be sad when my daughter didn’t want me around as much. Was it a little inconvenient for me to spend a half hour upstairs helping our daughter get to sleep? Yes, but I loved every minute. And guess what…she’s a freshman in college now who doesn’t need me to help her get to sleep. *Many times, I have wondered what kind of communication that doctor has with her own children…if she has the same great relationship with hers that I have with mine. I actually feel sorry for her and for her children. I know mine trusts me, and some of that trust might just go back to those nights she needed me to be there while she fell asleep.*

If my daddy’s death taught me anything, it taught me that life is not a dress rehearsal. We have to live now and enjoy the little things. When our daughter was a toddler, I would pick her up and carry her in my arms any time she wanted. My friend, Jennifer, and I believed (since we had only children) we should do that, because one day we wouldn’t get to carry them anymore. We wouldn’t know when it was the last time, so we did it every time. No, I don’t remember the last time I carried her, but I know I carried her on my back multiple times after she became too heavy to carry in my arms. And if she asked me to carry her today (she’s 19), I would. You can bet on that.

And as much as it annoys me that my husband can’t resist the urge to open the curtains on the window on my side of the bed, I know that, if something happened to him, I’d likely miss having to go close those curtains when my side of the room starts to heat up from the sunlight.

Enjoy the little things…even the little annoyances.

by Kelly Mattei

Writing My Way Through Tough Times

Writing my way through tough times.

If we live long enough, we all experience heartache at some time or another. It might be in the form of a breakup, or it might be in the loss of a loved one. I experienced a few breakups as I grew up, just like most everyone else, but my first big, real heartache was when my daddy was diagnosed with and eventually died of pancreatic cancer in 2006.

He was officially diagnosed in February of that year, and he died on October 2 of the same year. Today is the 16th anniversary of his death…a tough day for me, and a reminder of the heartache I managed to survive. I suffered. It was the most painful thing I had ever experienced…losing my daddy. I was the mother of a toddler, but I was afraid I was losing my mind. I made lots of plans, because I thought I needed to stay busy. I ran myself ragged. But I learned.

When my mother fell ill 11 years later, my friend, Angela, who has also lost her father, said, “Get ready. It’s going to be tough when you lose her.” I vividly remember turning to her, saying, “It’s going to be tough, for sure, but I feel like I learned something when Daddy died. I feel like I developed some coping skills.” And after Mother passed, I learned I had, in fact, developed some coping skills. I had learned not to run from it. I had learned from my experience with Daddy’s death that I needed to just drop out of the world for a little while and process it. So that’s what I did after Mother died. I have written about it before. I literally gave myself permission to recover quietly and cancelled all plans and went to bed for a month. Don’t get me wrong. I was functional. But I didn’t feel like being social, so I wasn’t. I did what I needed to do for our daughter, but for the most part, I stayed home. And after a month, I “pulled up my bootstraps” and rejoined the living.

For Christmas that year, I had received a gift from a friend. It was a book called My Future Listography: All I Hope to do in Lists. When I received the gift, I thought it was cool, but when Mother died five days after Christmas, the book took on more meaning. It’s a journal, of sorts, and it’s part of a series of Listography books. Each one contains lists to fill in, and this one is full of lists about the future. Examples of some of the lists: What countries do you want to visit? What films do you want to see? What fictional characters would you like to hang out with? But after Mother died, the book became good therapy for me. Sounds crazy, but it gave me things to think about in the future. It made me see past the state of gloom I was in and look to the future. It really helped me move through the grief. It helped me realize that the act of putting my thoughts out there could help me heal. To order My Future Listography, click here.

And because of that, I started my blog. Writing things down…or typing them, in the case of the blog…was therapeutic! My Future Listography had brought me through the initial trauma of losing my mother, and writing the blog helpted me continue to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Since losing my Mother on December 30, 2017, I have given copies of My Future Listography to lots of friends when they have been going through tough times…breakups, death of a loved one, or even new empty-nesters who are having a hard time. Sometimes, they look at me like it’s a weird gift, and maybe it is…but several times, people have called me later to tell me how much it helped them keep putting one foot in front of the other…keep looking toward the future. We know time helps with heartache, but knowing there is life ahead of the heartache can help too. When someone is in the middle of grief or heartache, they aren’t necessarily thinking about the good things ahead, but this journal can help them see what the future might look like.

I have a friend who went through a terrible breakup two years ago, and I gave her a copy after the relationship ended. There’s something about a relationship ending that can seem particularly dismal. It can feel like everything you believed about someone was wrong…a lie. Later, we realize that’s not always the case; sometimes, there are just extenuating circumstances that cause relationships to end. And as with my friend, sometimes we need to be reminded that there is a bright future ahead. She called me months after the breakup and told me the journal of lists had helped her. Now, I keep a few handy to give as gifts, because you never know when someone you love is going to experience something bad.

Sometimes, we just need a reminder that better things lie ahead.

by Kelly Mattei

The New BC

The new BC.

We all know BC, in historic terms, means before Christ, right? In modern terms, though, it means before COVID.

Now that we are approaching the one year mark on the COVID shutdowns, I look at my daily Facebook memories from 2020 and think, “Wow. How little we knew then.” I look at pictures of myself laughing with friends or my daughter playing sports, and I think, “We had no idea how our lives were about to change.” In fact, on this day one year ago, my post was about a friend telling me that when she was a kid, her school bus driver would stop at railroad tracks and let acid off the bus to run across the tracks…to wave the bus across. That was my big concern of this day in 2020. I had never heard of such a thing, but apparently, it was happening in lots of places. What I didn’t know was that life as I knew it was about to stop, and I wouldn’t be worried about how people waved buses across railroad tracks back in the day.

This morning, my daughter’s school lacrosse team had a game, and it was the first time students have been allowed to attend sporting events as spectators since this time last year. March 12 was the last day our kids went to school last year, and that anniversary is rapidly approaching. There were no spring sports after that date. Our little independent school opened in August, with a hybrid plan of alternating days for students, so at least they are in school half the time, and we had fall sports, but we had them without spectators. Same with winter sports…our school found a way for parents to attend (only two adults per player), but students were still not allowed to attend as spectators…till today.

Last night, my daughter and her friends were reminding friends that they should come watch the game and cheer them on this morning. And not surprisingly, lots of them showed up…even for a Saturday morning game! Girls sports, for whatever reason, don’t usually have a whole lot of spectators besides parents, but today? The turnout was fantastic! Maybe since they haven’t been able to gather in stadiums and sports arenas for so long, these students will support all their teams. I think they will be thrilled to have an excuse to commune…even while social distancing. At least, after a whole year of shutdowns and disappointments, these kids are getting an opportunity to have a little bit of normalcy.

Heck, our school has even announced the juniors and seniors will have a prom! That was quite a shocker, but it truly gave the students something to look forward to!

Hopefully, things will continue to move in a positive direction. Last year, we canceled our spring break trip at the last minute, but this year, we are going. In fact, we are going on the trip we paid for last year, so this year it seems like a free trip!

The past year has been tough on all of us…some more so than others. It was tough mentally for me and lots of my friends. It was tough financially for lots of people. Physically…lots of people got COVID and recovered, but lots of people died or lost loved ones. Our kids lost the experiences they are supposed to have as kids and teenagers. College students stayed home and learned online or sat in dorms and learned. They lost a year of “college experience.” People lost jobs and livelihoods…some of them lost everything they had. It was a tough year. We were told that we could “flatten the curve” of COVID by staying home for two weeks back in March 2020. Then that two weeks stretched to four weeks…six weeks…six months…and here we are at a year. I was about to lose my mind every time a vacation canceled last summer, but I knew missing vacations was minor compared to what some folks were experiencing. It didn’t make it any easier for me, and when I’d had enough (September), I got on a plane anyway. I needed it.

One thing I know is that starting on March 12, my Facebook memories are going to get more interesting. They will move from BC (before COVID) to photos and posts from the first year of the COVID era. While I have hated the shutdowns, and I have hated watching people get sick and some die, I think the posts that start popping up in my memories will be interesting. They will tell a story of the first year of COVID. I will see posts from last spring, when we were stuck home, and I was spending as much time as possible outdoors, because I couldn’t look at the four walls of my house anymore. They will also tell the story of a year unlike any other. Before it happened, staying home all the time sounded like Hell to me. And for the first few weeks and even months, it was especially tough. Then I found ways to make it more tolerable…gardening, taking road trips, mailing postcards, mailing letters, sitting by the pool, talking on the phone…anything to make it better.

My daddy used to tell me that once you start staying home all the time it becomes too easy to stay home all the time. If you stop driving on the interstate highway, you forget how to drive on the interstate highway. Stop going to the grocery store? You forget how. You have to take on the “use it or lose it” mentality, and thankfully, I remembered that throughout the last year. I would get into my car and just drive sometimes. But yes, I did notice as stores started opening that I was a little awkward when shopping. How does one forget how to shop? I even went into a new sandwich shop one time early in the shutdowns, and wearing a mask made it seem almost unnavigable to me. I couldn’t learn a new system while wearing a mask! So I left and went to my old trusted sandwich shop, where the ordering system was familiar.

Since then, I’ve traveled more and moved around more…sometimes by car and sometimes by plane…all while wearing a mask. I’m wondering if life will ever be what it was BC, or will we always wear masks? Will we always be afraid to hug or shake hands? That’s the part I really hate. I like hugging. I like shaking hands.

But right now, I’m just thankful. I’m thankful to have survived the first year of the COVID era relatively intact. I’m grateful to have great friends and family I love. I hope we move into the post-COVID era sooner rather than later.

As we start to move beyond the first year of COVID, I hope we will all remember how fortunate we are to have “normal” again. I hope we will all be grateful for “normal.” I hope those who have experienced hardship or loss can find a way to move forward. I hope we find ways to be joyful. I hope…I just hope we have hope.