Sorority rush (also known as recruitment) is getting underway at big schools all over the south. A couple of places have already finished, but lots are just getting started. I remember it well from last year, when our daughter participated in recruitment. Is it fun for the girls? For the most part, yes. Is it stressful for the girls? Sometimes, yes. But I discovered last year that it might be more stressful for the moms. It’s true.
First, let me say that most big, southern schools employ a method that ensures the greatest number of matches. Therefore, at most big schools in the south, the attrition rate during recruitment is relatively low, and girls dropping out on their own account for a large percentage of the attrition. For example, at one large southern school I’m familiar with, about 92% of the girls finish the process with a bid(invitation to join) from a sorority. Of the other 8%, most are people who dropped out on their own. Some had GPAs that didn’t meet the chapters’ requirements. It’s not like it was back in the 80s or even the 90s…girls aren’t just getting dropped left and right, all willy nilly, and at this particular school, no one gets dropped after Preference round, which is the last night of recruitment. If you make it to Preference, you are guaranteed a bid somewhere.
With that out of the way, let’s talk about how Mom feels during the process. Mom, you might feel stressed. You might feel numb. You might feel out-of-the-loop. You might feel helpless. And all of that is OK. You feel what you feel. It’s hard to be away from your daughter when she is going through something stressful. I was talking with a friend earlier, and we discussed what we would put in a Mom’s rush bag, if there were such a thing. Maybe you’ll want to create one from this list? You can keep it next to your favorite chair:
Aromatherapy Shower Steamers. Make your shower/bathroom feel like a spa with scents like lavender, rose, mint, and more! It’s relaxing. See them here.
Olly Sleep. If you’re having trouble sleeping, maybe some melatonin will help. I love Olly Sleep gummies. Check with your doctor before taking supplements. Purchase here.
Bath Pillow. A hot bath can be very relaxing, but only if you’re comfortable in your tub. A bath pillow can make a big difference. Get it from Amazon here.
Easy read. Throw yourself into a good book. If you want to read an easy-to-read novel about rush, there’s Rush by Lisa Patton at Amazon here.
Relaxing Face Mask. Forcing yourself to relax with a face mask is a great thing. I prefer ones containing lavender, but you might like others. Choose one here.
Favorite healthy snacks. I think every mom needs to have some healthy snacks handy, but especially when times are stressful. Drop some of your faves in your “mom rush bag.”
Last year, I had several friends whose daughters were participating in recruitment at the same time mine was. We would talk, and often, we had different stories to share. We didn’t tell each other which houses/chapters our daughters were visiting, but we did share anecdotes…like when one of our daughters almost walked out of her dorm and to a sorority houses wearing two different shoes. Another girl sat in gum between parties. We all shared some laughs, but if one mom cried, we all cried. If one mom was being particularly funny, we all laughed. Thank God we had each other to lean on.
The recruitment process is not easy. There’s so much anxiety…daily anxiety. Add in the pure exhaustion that comes from walking from house to house in summer heat. Add in the emotional exhaustion. It’s a lot. Plus, many of the girls are away from home for the first time.
But here’s one thing to remember when talking to your daughter:
Never let her see you sweat.
If your daughter calls you crying, resist the urge to jump into the pool of tears with her. It’s easy to dive right in there, but your daughter needs you to be strong for her. She needs you to be the voice of reason. Personally, at our house, if I can hold myself together, everyone else does too. So remember that if your daughter calls you crying one morning after receiving her invitations for a round, saying she got dropped by her very favorite house. Let her cry for a minute, but remind her that she needs to dry up those tears and put on a happy face for the next house. She needs to be reminded that the chapters that kept her really want her…they kept her for a reason. She needs to keep moving forward, and you might have to encourage her to do it. Tell her to take a deep breath and “pivot.” She’s going to be OK. (And you are too, Mom.) It might seem like her world is collapsing right now, but it’s not. This is just a blip on the radar. Remind her there are great girls in every chapter; it’s true.
There will be some girls who simply decide sorority life is not for them. Or maybe they just hate the process. Or maybe they have had enough. Whatever the reason, it’s OK to drop out of recruitment, but only after giving it a real effort. Don’t drop out on a whim. And if your daughter simply needs to drop out, you need to assure her that she has to make the best decision for herself.
As for maintaining your own sanity, a glass of wine could be your friend! Or some exercise. Or some sunshine. You got this, Mom.
Last year, at this time, I was at a completely different place in life. My only child, a daughter, was preparing to leave for her freshman year of college 450 miles away from home…and me…450 miles away from me. Actually, for the most part, I was the one preparing. I’m not even sure she was giving it much thought, as she tried to relish every moment with her friends at home. I, however, was gathering everything I could think of that she might need for a dorm room. I was trying to have everything done, but there were definitely things I missed. You can read my piece titled College Nestinghere. *See the bottom of this page for information about things you might need for a freshman dorm room that you haven’t considered.
But here we are, one year later, and it’s amazing how things have changed!
My daughter leaves in less than a month to start her sophomore year. Ask me how many times we have discussed bedding or dorm essentials. Zero. OK, maybe once…when I asked if I need to be worrying about her room in the sorority house, and she told me no. That’s it. I’m not even exactly sure what day we are taking her back! August 3rd? 4th? 5th? I have asked several times, but I get a different answer every time, and I’m not worried about it. We will take her when we take her.
Last year at this time, I was worried she might get homesick. She was fine. I was worried she wouldn’t know how to handle medical emergencies. She had a few and handled them like a pro! I was worried I would miss her so badly that my heart would break. It didn’t. I probably wasn’t as worried as most moms, because I’m just not a worrier, but I had a little bit of worry. I was mostly excited. I was excited about all the new friends she would make. I was excited for her to start classes. And yes, I was excited about becoming an empty-nester.
OK, so maybe “empty-nester” is a little extreme. No, she isn’t living in our nest full-time anymore, but we are paying all her bills. She is self-sufficient as far as taking care of herself, but financially…not one bit. So we are empty-nesters in that we have the house to ourselves most of the time, but the credit card bills would say otherwise.
Moms of college freshmen, if you’re wondering what you’ll be like in one year from now, I can’t tell you exactly, but I can tell you how things have played out for me. Life is a little quieter in some ways but more fun in some ways too. On a day-to-day basis, when our daughter is away at college, life is quieter. I have my hobbies. I have my friends. I have some work to do. I have plenty to keep myself busy, but it’s quieter around our house while she’s at school, for sure. This summer hasn’t been so quiet, because her friends have been in and out of the house all day and night when we have been home. How is it more fun since she left? Well, my husband and I have enjoyed some trips together that we wouldn’t have been able to make if our daughter were still in high school. Back then, we had to plan everything around the school calendar. Not anymore! Now, we just pick dates and go! Does that mean life is more fun without her around? No way! She is way more fun than either of us, so we always love having her with us.
We get really excited every time we get to see her!
Do I miss having my daughter around all the time? I definitely miss my time with her, but we talk everyday. She didn’t come home a lot during the school year, so we were excited when it was time for her to come home for summer! She had only been home for about a week when we remembered how much noisier our household is with her here. We enjoy her friends. We enjoy the silliness. But we don’t sleep as much when she’s here, because she is in and out of the house at all hours. It doesn’t bother me as much as it bothers my “disciplined” husband who believes he should go to sleep and wake up at the exact same time every single day of life. I’m less rigid, so it doesn’t bother me, but I have to listen to him. Ugh. I always say, “He just stays in my ear!” And that’s the truth, but I have to admit he’s getting better.
So what am I doing to prepare for her to go back to school? I’m not doing all the things I was doing last year. I’m not running around trying to find things for the dorm or dresses for sorority recruitment. I’m just relaxing. She’ll take care of it. She has a year of college experience behind her, and she knows what she needs.
***Dorm items you might not realize you need:
Clothes steamer. If your daughter is going to school in the south, she needs a steamer. I don’t care if it’s upright or handheld, she needs one. I sent my daughter and her roommate with an upright one, and they used it all the time. Purchase it here. (It’s a quality steamer!) For a quality handheld one, click here. Here’s my theory: an upright, to me, is easier to use, and no one will remove it from the room. A handheld one is much more likely to go missing when someone “borrows” it. Keep that in mind.
Bluetooth Speaker. They need it. Just trust me on this. JBL has a whole Amazon store. You can certainly find what you need here. My daughter needed her speaker, but I didn’t think of it in advance, so I took it when I went down for a football game. How did I not know she would need it? Back when I was in school, we played “getting ready” music; surely, they still do that? By the way, my own personal “get ready” music back in the day was Aretha Franklin’s Greatest Hits.
Swiffer. Dust bunnies collect fast in dorm rooms. Encourage your student to keep the floor in his/her room with a Swiffer. Purchase here.
Disinfecting Wipes. They might not even use them, but if they get the urge to wipe down the surfaces in their rooms, these work great, and they’re disposable! Purchase here.
Can and bottle opener. Last year, when my daughter wasn’t feeling well, a friend brought her a can of chicken noodle soup, but she couldn’t open it, because she didn’t have a can opener. Make sure your student has a can and bottle opener! Purchase here. And make sure they know how to use it beforehand! See some other cool gadgets for opening plastic soda bottles and jars here.
Laundry backpack. You can get baskets or bags, but laundry backpacks are a lot easier to carry! See them here.
Medicines. In the state where my daughter goes to college, people under 19 cannot purchase cold medicines…not even Benadryl! Therefore, I tried to think of every possible medical item she could need, and I packed them in boxes….bandages, Band-Aids, Neosporin, Motrin, Tylenol, Benadryl, Cortisone cream, allergy creams, cold meds, cough meds…and on the labels, I wrote when to use them…for cough, for fever, for headaches, for muscle aches, etc. I used plastic storage bins from Amazon. There are lots to choose from here.
Hulken Bag. I tell everyone about these all the time, because we have them, and we use them all the time! They’re especially helpful when taking things to and from the car. For example, if my daughter goes to the UPS Store to pick up packages, she might have several. It can be difficult to carry them all in, but she just puts them in her Hulken bag and pulls them in! See it here. I highly recommend them. And when you’re not using it, just fold it and put it away!
Sorority recruitment (rush) preparation in the south.
Planning to participate in recruitment at a big, southern school? Don’t fret. Yes, recruitment is a big deal at big, southern schools, and it can be intimidating, but there’s a method to the madness. I hear lots of high school seniors and their moms talking about it every year, so I’m going to give a few suggestions. I don’t claim to know everything, but I do know it is likely to go more smoothly if you do your homework and prepare.I am a mom who joined a sorority at a big, southern school in the 80s, and I have a daughter in a sorority at a big, southern school now. I have lots of friends who have daughters in sororities at big, southern schools. That’s my background, so glean what you will from the information below.
I am not a rush consultant or coach.
Every year, I hear about people from different parts of the country who send their daughters to southern schools, and they are surprised at how popular and stressful sorority recruitment is in this part of the country. That’s why I say “do your homework.” If I had been sending my daughter to college in Michigan or California, I would have expected a different rush experience for her, and we would have had to do a lot of homework to see how it goes there. I, likely, would have started doing my homework as soon as she knew where she was going to school, but here is some information that might help if you don’t know how to deal with recruitment in the south. All the information might not apply to every southern college or university, but hopefully, you will find the information helpful.
How to prepare for recruitment in the south? It’s important that moms help. No, don’t do all the legwork, but be there to remind your daughter about deadlines and to edit/proofread the resumé. Preparation can depend on the school, but generally speaking, here are some things you can do:
Update your social resumé. This is a good starting point, because you will need to give a social resumé to women who write recommendations for you (more on that below). There are different apps for creating a social resumé. My daughter used the Canva app. You can look for sample resumés online. Don’t panic if you see ads for “rush packets.” For most alumnae who will be writing recommendations, those packets are not only not necessary, but they’re also not wanted. A resumé plus a headshot will be all you need, in most cases. I haven’t talked to any alumnae or rush chairmen/advisors in the past five years who have wanted packets. For recruitment, make sure your social resumé includes:
your full name,
the name you actually use…example: legal name is Elizabeth, but you go by Betsy
your home address/phone number/email address
your parents’ names/colleges/Greek affiliations
your standardized test scores/GPA/class rank (if your school ranks)
your extracurricular activities/honors/leadership positions
work experience/community service/interests
other family Greek affiliations.
Lots of girls, like my daughter and all her friends, also include a photo on the resumé.
Register for recruitment.Do not miss the deadline. Read all the information. Know the cost of joining and being a member of a sorority. At some schools, it’s a few hundred dollars a year. At some larger schools with big sorority houses, it can be between $7,000 and $10,000 per year. Do your homework! At my daughter’s university, the student and the parents sign a contract saying they understand the cost. It is important to know this…and keep in mind the costs they post don’t include the dresses she’ll need for formals/parties, the t-shirts she will get afterward, pictures, and more! It is unfair to the student and to the chapter to join if you cannot afford it. ***See bottom of page for some southern schools’ recruitment info/guides.***
Follow the Panhellenic Instagram and the Instagram accounts of all the sororities at the college or university you will be attending. This is a way of showing interest in the sororities, and it’s a great way for you to learn more about each chapter. You actually can learn a lot about the feel of a chapter by its posts, just like you can learn something about a person from his/her posts on social media. And that leads me to…
Clean up social media. Southern sororities rely heavily on social media these days to get a bigger picture of the potential new member. If you’re planning to participate, go through the photos/posts on your social media accounts, including Facebook, Instagram, and Tiktok. If there are risqué outfits or alcohol in your photos, remove those photos. If there are risqué outfits or dances in your Tiktok videos, remove them. You don’t have to look like you don’t have any fun, but you want your social media to be a clean representation of who you are. Sororities want to get a bigger picture of who you are and what you enjoy. *Sororities at some schools like for potential new members to have public Instagram accounts, so they can get to know you better.*
Make and submit video, if required.*Some schools require potential new members to submit a video.* If you are required to submit a video before recruitment, you want your personality to shine through, but you also want it to be the best representation of you. You don’t want to be in a swimsuit or too casually dressed. You want to look your best.This is your first impression moment! There will be guidelines to follow. They often ask for a background that is not distracting, and you need to have good lighting that highlights you and not the area around you. Speak clearly and answer the prompts. My daughter had to pick three prompts from six or eight. I recommend having a loose script or some highlights to cover when making your video…or even a big cue card hanging on the wall. Be memorable…in a good way. And remember…a smile is your best accessory! *If the video is optional, do it.* ***Also, I recommend using a tripod to hold the camera and a Ring light for best facial lighting.***
Get recommendations from sorority alumni. If at all possible, get recommendations from sorority alumnae. Moms can ask on Facebook if they have friends who are sorority alumnae who are willing to write recommendations. Some sororities do not require/accept recommendations, but some require them. For big, southern schools, it’s a good idea to have at least one to each house, if possible. Lots of people believe you need to give alumnae “packets” containing a letter, your resume, and a headshot. That’s old school. Most sororities accept (and prefer) recommendations online now, so most alumnae do not want packets. I do not want packets; they are the bane of my existence. I always ask girls to send me a resumé and photo online, and I include that with my online recommendation. The recommendations are actually done with online forms through a sorority’s national website. They are not personally-written letters. They are forms, but alumnae can add comment to the forms. Recommendations do not guarantee anything. They are simply a “formal” introduction from an alumna to a chapter.
Make connections. Different schools have different rules about contact before recruitment. My daughter’s school has very strict rules regarding contact between potential new members and sorority members. Other schools allow contact right up until the start of recruitment. You can usually find the rules on the school’s Panhellenic website. Get the word out to friends and family that you will be participating in recruitment. You never know who might know a sorority member at a school. ***If you’re going to a larger southern school, you might need to set your Instagram account to “public” until rush is over. It’s a way for the girls in sororities to get to know you better.***
Start preparing your “rush bag.” I have a whole post about rush bags and what goes into them. “Rush bags” are handbags for potential new members to carry with them during the recruitment process. They contain necessities for hot days, rainy days, and wardrobe emergencies. My post even has links to lots of the needed items, so it makes your shopping easier. See it here.
Start thinking about wardrobe, including shoes. Most southern schools have published information about 2023 recruitment, or they will soon. Read it, and learn what you’ll need to wear for each day. At my daughter’s school, the first round is watching videos of the chapters. The girls are issued t-shirts to wear for the second round; they wear them with cute shorts or skorts/skirts…and I don’t mean “booty” shorts. Cute dressier shorts or a skirt will be perfect. They need dresses for the next round, and they need a dress for the preference round, but all of that is different at different schools! Keep that in mind! Do your homework! Make sure you have an extra dress or two, in case of spills or if you need options, Obviously, different schools have different styles…even across the south. What is popular at Baylor might not work at SMU or South Carolina. What works at Georgia might not work at TCU or Florida State. Look at sorority Instagrams. Look at the Instagram accounts of girls who go there; you will likely see some pictures that will help. Don’t wear anything skimpy or too tight. Fitted is fine; too tight is a no-no. Last year, for our daughter going to Bama, we looked at Zara and Amanda Uprichard. There are some cute Amanda Uprichard styles on Amazon. For shoes, our daughter took nice sneakers for the first two days and comfortable low-heeled, nude-colored wedges for other days, except a dressier pair of shoes for Preference Day. The goal is to wear tasteful, flattering dresses that are comfortable. You don’t want to be fidgeting with your clothes, and if you aren’t comfortable, it will show. ***Also, some chapters require girls to have simple white dresses for formal pledging soon after Bid Day. It’s a good idea to have one on hand, just in case! They often go on sale after July 4 at lots of stores.Simple, modest, not low-cut, covered shoulders preferred. My daughter wore the white romper below, and no one was the wiser.***Here are a few simple styles I saw on some girls during recruitment last year. But keep in mind, you need to get what’s right for YOU and what’s right for the climate and vibe at the school you are attending:
Amanda Uprichard Allora Dress, some colors offered at $85 at time of writing. Several colors availablehere.
Amanda Uprichard Fiori Dress, some sizes offered at $93 at time of writing. Purchase here.
*This is a romper simply because it has shorts built in underneath, but it does not show as a romper. It looks like a dress.*
Steve Madden Apparel Kianna Dress, $89. Click here.
These are a few things you can do to get prepared for the experience ahead of recruitment. It’s something most people will experience only once in their lives. Be prepared.
Recruitment can be a lot of fun. Be yourself, and be open-minded. Those are the two most important things. You got this!
***If you have suggestions you would like to add to the above, please leave a comment!***
I don’t know about every other person in the world, but I have different “types” of clothes. I have “real” clothes for daytime…the ones I wear to meetings or lunches with friends. I have “real” clothes for evening…the ones I wear to dinner or parties. And I have my “comfy” clothes…the ones that are just comfortable and work well for vacation too. Here are some comfy things I have found recently for summer. If you see me running errands, cheering on a baseball team, on a tour, or if you drop in at my house, this is what I will likely be wearing.
Loose Cropped Pants. Love these linen pants for casual summer days. Easy to wear with the tshirts below. Priced under $20, they’re inexpensive and good-looking. Click here.
Loose-Fit V-Neck T-shirt. I have this one in several colors. It’s loose, but not too loose. I like that it just skims my body instead of clinging to it. Looks great with the pants above or with the skorts below. And the v-neck is flattering. Priced under $25. Click here.
Comfy Colorful Shirt. I love colorful shirts that can be casual or dressy, and I have found one I love on Amazon. It could even work when I go to lunch with friends on a hot summer day. Or I could lounge around home in it too. It’s $46…great price. Click here.
Loungewear. The set pictured below is about $25, and it’s super comfortable and good-looking. My daughter has it in one color, and I have it in another. Click here for that set. For other loungewear, click here.
Half Sleeve Loose Fit T-shirt. Again, it’s loose fit but not too loose…skims the body, and the half sleeves provide coverage for upper arms. And looks great with the pants above or skorts below. Click here.
Columbia Summerdry Skort. Columbia makes quality outdoor wear, and I love this skort in all colors. Click here.
Avalanche Ripstop Cargo Skort. Another cute skort option. I like the slight a-line shape of this one. Click here.
Baleaf Skort. A little stretch makes this one extra comfortable. Click here.
Comfy Colorful Dress. I love a colorful, lightweight summer dress, and I found one on Amazon I love. It comes in multiple colors. Dress it up or down. You’ll want to wear it every day. Priced at about $50, I want one in every color. Click here.
Sorel Women’s Slingback Heel Sandal. I have always been a fan of sporty sandals, but I hate flat ones. These give me a little lift in the heel and look cute too. Offered in four colors, they’re priced at just under $200, so they’re not inexpensive, but they are great quality. Click here. Other Sorel sandals, click here.
Saucony Cohesion 13 Running Shoes. I love these shoes. They come in several colors. Sure, Saucony has made more generations of these since the 13th, but I love this one, so I will be buying them as long as I can. Priced at under $50, tjhey are great running/walking shoes. Keep in mind, they might seem a little stiff at first, but they break in fast. Saucony makes great shoes. Click here. Other Saucony options, click here.
Turkish Towels. OK, so they’re not clothes, but Turkish Towels are great to have around during summer…to take to outdoor concerts or for beach or pool time. They’re lightweight and do the job without absorbing water or extra sand, and the ones I like are priced right at Amazon. They’re even light enough to use as a wrap, if you need one on a chilly night. If you haven’t tried them, it’s high time you did. Priced at about $17, they are a bargain. Click here.
Summer’s almost here! Let’s get ready! Happy Shopping!
In less than a week, I go to move our daughter out of her freshman dorm. Anyone who has experienced this knows how I feel right now. It’s hard to believe she has finished a year of college. Less than a year ago, we were experiencing excitement and fear over the fact that we were all entering new phases of life…she as a college student, and we as empty-nesters. Now, here we are, ready to bring her home for summer. And anyone who is planning to go move their son or daughter out of a freshman dorm knows what else I’m feeling: How are we going to get her out of there?!?!
Here’s my plan and what I plan to take to make it easier:
Encouraging daughter to get rid of stuff early. That’s my first plan of action. I tell her every day: take out a few items you don’t need and throw them away. Does she hear me? I don’t know, but if I get there, and there’s a bunch of junk to toss, I’m not going to be happy.
Moving bags from Amazon. I shipped moving bags to her, so she can start packing up anything she isn’t going to use again. I purchased heavy duty ones from Amazon. You can purchase here. I used some of these for move-in, but stupidly, I brought them home with me. I will take them with me, but she needed some to start packing early, so I ordered the same ones. They’re awesome.
Collapsible wagon. When we moved her in, the university provided volunteers and giant bins. That won’t happen at move-out. They honeymoon’s over! I highly recommend a collapsible wagon. Amazon offers a multitude of choices. Pick one here. You can roll out a lot of stuff in a collapsible wagon, and because it’s collapsible, you can still fit it in your car to bring home when you are done.
Hulken Bags. These tote bags on wheels have become necessities at our house. They fold flat, so I keep one medium-sized one in my car at all times, in case I have a lot of things to bring in when I get home. My daughter has a large Hulken, because she is likely to have more to carry from her car in the dorm parking garage to her room. They roll on wheels, and they’re easy to pull alongside or behind. I cannot stress enough how great these bags are. If you can get one or two, get them. Starting at about $89, they’re an investment, but we have found we use them all the time. Purchase the medium in silver here. Or see other Hulken sizes/colors here.
Large Nylon bags. OK, you could use garbage bags instead, but for me, it’s important to keep garbage and “good stuff” separate. I have made the mistake of throwing away a garbage bag full of “good stuff,” thinking it was garbage. Therefore, I only put garbage in garbage bags. Plus, I feel like large Nylon bags are more sturdy. Get two for less than $10 here. You can use these instead of the moving bags or in conjunction with them.
Cleaning supplies. If you purchased cleaning supplies for your student when you moved him/her in, they likely still have some. Double check. You’ll need a Swiffer Wet/Dry Mop, sponges, Windex,Clorox Wipes, and maybe Bathroom Cleaner. If you don’t want to take them with you, click on the name of each above to purchase through Amazon and ship to your child, so it’s all waiting for you when you arrive.
Garbage bags. You’ll need them. Get them from Amazon here.
And if there are things your child will not be using again, consider whether you really need to bring it home. Your child might have some stuff to store locally for next year. If that’s the case, get it arranged now! And if there’s stuff they don’t want to keep at all, the best thing to do is donate it to a local charity instead of bringing it home, but there will be some things you simply need to throw away. Every time I talk to my daughter these days, I say, “I hope you’re throwing out what you don’t need!”
I’ll give a report after the move-out…what we refer to in our family as “post-game wrap-up.” Good luck, Moms and Dads! I suppose we should pat ourselves on the backs for surviving freshman year.
I know. I know. Y’all think it’s too early to be thinking about graduation gifts. It’s not. You don’t want to the be the person who is scrambling at the last minute to find graduation gifts. And if you have a son or daughter graduating this year, you need to be prepared. Lots of classmates and parents will give your child gifts, and you want to reciprocate. You can see my first suggestions for graduation gifts here. In case those aren’t what you want to give, maybe you’ll find some ideas for both boy and girl grads here, some of whom will matriculate to college and some who won’t…gift accordingly:
Longchamp Bags. No, they’re not inexpensive, but they are great quality. Longchamp makes nylon bags in lots of sizes, and what I love most about them is that they are packable. I can fold and pack a large one in a suitcase, in case I will be bringing home more stuff than I left with. And the larger ones can be checked with airlines! The smaller ones can be packed and used as handbags at a travel destination. But they are lightweight and great for everyday! A high school graduate would be happy to see this among her gifts. Shop Longchamp on Amazon. Click here.
Shower Steamers Aromatherapy. I got these for my daughter for Easter, and wow! They are incredible! She hung one in her shower using the net and suction cup, and after the first use, her bedroom and bathroom smelled like a spa! It’s incredible! When she went back to school, she took a few with her, so I’m sure her dorm room smells like a spa now too! Highly recommend! These are great for the girl going to college or the girl going straight into the work force! At under $22, they are inexpensive, so would go well as a gift with the clear accessories bags listed next. Purchase them here.
Clear Accessories Bags. Girls travel with “stuff.” My daughter loves a good clear bag for makeup and toiletries, because she can see what’s in the bag and find items without having to dump them out. This four-bag set is great for any high school graduate! They’re labeled with colorful chenille letters. And it’s cute too! Click here.
Hamilton Beach Personal Blender. College students love smoothies. Mine makes them all the time. This Hamilton Beach Personal Blender is perfect for a dorm. Just add fruit and cold milk or almond milk. It’s easy to use and easy to clean. Get it at Amazon by clicking here.
Dyson Airwrap System. Admittedly, this is an expensive gift. We got one for our daughter when she went to college, and she loves it. This system is very popular with college-age girls for creating loose waves in long hair while drying the hair! It’s expensive for a reason…because it’s good. Priced at $599.99, it’s a gift that will be appreciated. Get it from Amazon here.
Blissy Silk Pillowcase. My mother told me for years, “A silk or satin pillowcase will save your hair.” Now, I hear myself regularly telling my college-aged daughter the same thing. Blissy Pillowcases are the ones they are familiar with, so they will love receiving one as a gift. Make sure you know the right size for their bed pillows. Priced at $58, these are made from Mulberry silk. Purchase from Amazon here.
Dry Divas Showercap. Oh, how I love Dry Divas Showercaps! They are quality and gorgeous! They come in various prints, and they actually keep your hair dry when you use them. I cannot stress enough how great this gift is. Young ladies don’t have time to wash their hair every day…and they shouldn’t! Hair stays healthier if it’s not washed daily. Give them the gift of dry hair with Dry Divas. Maybe pair this with the Blissy Pillowcase or the Shower Steamers above. These are priced at less than $30, and they last three years or more! I have a couple I have been using for five years! Click here.
Compact Binoculars. Binoculars are fun for lots of things, but especially for sporting events, concerts, and birdwatching. Young generally love concerts and sporting events, and some of them even love birdwatching! The binoculars I’m featuring fit pretty well in an adults hand, and the price is under $40. To purchase, click here. Or Monocular, click here.
Rumpl NanoLoft Blanket for Concerts/Camping. This travel-size ultra-lightweight and packable blanket is 35″x 52″ and is great to take to concerts or other outdoor activities. This is an all-around great gift. The Nano blanket is on sale for under $75 as of this writing. And Rumpl is a trusted brand. Click here. Or other sizes at the Rumpl Amazon Store here.
LapGear Home Office Lap Desk. Every college student needs a lap desk. They like to sit in bed and study sometimes. It’s a fact. LapGear offers lap desks that have a device ledge and a phone holder, plus other accessories. Amazon recommends one that is priced at $39.99. To see it, click here. Or see the LapGear offerings on Amazon here.
IlluminatedLED Message Writing Board. Back in the day, we had chalkboards or whiteboards for messages between roommates. Of course, they can text now, but it’s still fun to have a board in the room for impromptu messages or “good luck on your exam.” I think this one is awesome, and priced at $45.99, it’s a fun gift that won’t break the bank. Click here.
Amazon Basics Safe. It sounds crazy to some people, but lots of people have valuables they simply don’t want others to have access to. I recommend using the included cable to connect it to something in a hidden place, like inside a closet. They’re priced at about $20. Click here.
Electric Scooter. College students on big campuses tend to travel by electric scooter. I see them all over the place when I visit my daughter. There is a wide range of scooters out there…fast, slow, long range, short range, inexpensive, inexpensive, and so on. If you’re considering this as a gift, check with the student to make sure you get what they want/need. Click here to see lots of different scooters on Amazon. Amazon recommends a Razor version that’s priced at under $200. You can see here.
Dynotag Smart Recovery Luggage Tag. These are great whether the student travels or not. I recommend putting them on anything of value that could be misplaced…luggage, large handbag or backpack, workout bag, or even a computer case. The Dynotag brand is durable, and it contains the information to help recover your items if they are lost. Priced at about $20 each, they are more expensive than other tags, but they are also more durable and contain more info. They come in several bright colors that make them easy to spot on the baggage carousel at the airport. Click here.
There are some more great ideas for high school graduation gifts. I’m sure I will think of more in a week or two, and when I do, I will create yet another post. If you can do your shopping now, you can be ahead of the curve! Purchase now to avoid the “out of stock” notification!
The college parent Facebook pages revisited: advice for freshman moms.
Oh yes, the college parent pages….sometimes it’s the best entertainment of the day. Sometimes, I simply cannot believe what I read from other parents. And yet, rarely, I do get some valuable insight and/or information. Today, a mother of an incoming freshman had a good question:
If you could give any advice/suggestion to a parent of an incoming freshman, what would it be?
Oh, I could think of several things, but I haven’t typed a response to her on the page yet, because I really don’t want to offend anyone on there. I will tell you the things that came to my mind, and then I will tell you the answers from other parents. Personally, I think it’s a good time for this advice, as the parents and students are just starting the high school to college transition process.
My advice/suggestion to the parent of an incoming freshman:
Don’t put anything on the Facebook parent page that could, in any way, embarrass your child. Stop and think before you post. You don’t need to help Little Johnny find a girlfriend. In fact, Little Johnny likely doesn’t want the whole world to know that you still call him Little Johnny.
Let your child figure it out! This one is important! College is a great transitional time in life. If the parents are supportive, it can be a smooth transition from childhood to young adulthood. However, if you always help Little Mary make her schedule or find a roommate, she will never learn these skills for herself. Do you want Little Mary to be dependent on you her whole life? I started college in 1985, but I remember it very well. I also remember that, other than writing the checks, my parents didn’t help me with it. They didn’t help me make my schedule. They didn’t help me find friends or roommates. In fact, I’ve said before that I’m not even sure they knew what I was majoring in at the time. And that was OK, because 1980s parents were way cooler and more laid back than 2020s parents. Be like 1980s parents…let the students figure it out!
Be happy if, when you visit for a football weekend or other busy time, your child doesn’t have tons of time to spend with you. Be happy he/she has friends and activities that are important to her. Don’t get offended and do the “we traveled all this way” speech.
Sometimes, when our students think they won’t have any fun at an activity or on a weekend, they have the best time ever. My daughter once called me and said everyone was leaving the university for the weekend, so she might like to come home. I said, “That’s fine, but it’s not that long before your planned trip home. Try to find something to do, and call me back.” She thought it would be the most boring weekend ever. However, a friend from another school called and wanted to visit her, so she stayed for the weekend, and it was later declared “one of the best weekends ever.”
If your rising freshman student will be attending a university with big football, I, personally, would advise against taking the hardest classes they can take the fall semester (football season). I told my daughter, who attends an SEC big football school, “Take the easiest classes you can take that first semester. You will be adjusting to college life. You will be pledging a sorority. You will be going to football games and everything that goes with that. You want to adjust and enjoy it too, so take a light load.” Fortunately, she listened. And I know some parents might disagree with me on this, but I’m not giving their advice/suggestions. I’m giving mine.
And for the parents: if you’re going to be an empty nester when this child leaves, enjoy your time! Wow! People have asked me if I was sad when our daughter (an only child) went off to college. The answer is a resounding NO. I was (and still am) absolutely thrilled that she gets to experience life at a big university, complete with all the fun and distractions. I’m also glad I’m able to get out and enjoy the things I like to do without having to chaperone anymore. If you need more information about how to enjoy being an empty nester, there are lots of great books on Amazon. Click here.
I’m sure you’re wondering what other parents’ advice/suggestions were, so I’m going to share a few of those too (I did not write these myself):
Don’t worry when they cry and say they have no friends, or a friend hurts their feelings. Second semester everything changes and suddenly everything is in bloom!
Stagger visits. My husband and I plus other family and friends visited separately so our DD had lots to look forward to throughout her time there.
Get a tutor scheduled for any ‘hard’ classes BEFORE classes begin. Once you realize you need a tutor, it is too late!
The first year away from home will be the most difficult. Be mentally prepared for the inevitable feelings of homesickness. This bit of advice helped my DD more than I can tell you.
Prepare for them to be sick first semester. It’s just going to happen when you bring kids together from all over the country, living in close quarters and not eating or sleeping their best. Have a first aid box with over the counter remedies and have a list of phone numbers and addresses for local urgent cares in area with a plan on how to get there if needed. The student health center is great, but not always open for hours needed or can get backed up with appointments. ***I would add: please make sure they are up to date on all vaccines, including the Meningitis B vaccine before they go, even if it is not required by the college/university. Meningitis is contagious, and living in a group setting makes you more susceptible. By the time doctors diagnose it, it’s often too late.***
Know they are smarter, more resilient, and able to think for themselves more than we ever realized. I know all kids are different, but let them make a few “mistakes” along the way…such as over sleeping and figuring out how what dining halls serve what! If they get sick, let them know you are there for them, but they need to find a way to get to the health clinic! We have spent the last 18 or so years thinking and doing so many things for them. I know it’s hard to let go. But, they have to learn to adult and sometimes that includes choosing to do things in ways we wouldn’t. You will be pleasantly surprised at how awesome your kids are at Adulting if given the full chance! And trust me…having 2 daughters (1 has graduated and 1 is in her 2nd year) I have never not helped when they called asking, but I always encouraged them to first talk about ways to fix their issues before just swooping in to do it for them. They usually have the solution and didn’t even know it! Enjoy these last few months with your senior.
Send a meds box: Advil, flu meds, allergy stuff, thermometer, tummy meds . bandages etc.
There were more, but alas, there’s only so much room in this post. If you’re concerned that your rising freshman doesn’t have “adulting” knowledge, maybe help him/her with some books that contain useful information. Here are a few (and these could make great graduation gifts too):
Adulting Made Easy: Things Someone Should Have Told You About Getting Your Grown-up Act Togetherby Amanda Morin. Purchase here.
Adulting for Beginners – Life Skills for Adult Children, Teens, High School and College Students / The Grown-Up’s Survival Gift by Matilda Walsh. Purchase here.
The Manual to Manhood: How to Cook the Perfect Steak, Change a Tire, Impress a Girl & 97 Other Skills You Need to Survive by Jonathan Catherman. Purchase here.
Emily Post’s Etiquette, 19th Edition: Manners for Today. by Lizzie Post and Daniel Post Senning. This is a hardcover book that I think every young lady should have. Having it in hardcover form allows them to keep it forever and reference it often. My mother gave me one when I went to college, and I still use it for reference. Also makes a great graduation gift. Purchase here.
Like so many other parents, I’m getting emotionally and mentally prepared to send my daughter off to college. She is going about 500 miles away, to a big university in another state, and I am excited for her. However, I also know she needs to be prepared…not just academically and emotionally…she needs to also be prepared for emergency situations. Sure, she’s not leaving for several months, but it makes me feel better to talk with her and get ready in advance. Because of that, I sat down with her and thought of different situations that could happen and reviewed how to handle them. We got some ideas from the parents’ Facebook page too. We are making a list of essential places along with phone numbers and websites. We will laminate it, so she can hang it in her room. To make life a little easier for other students who are going off to college far, far away, I’m sharing the info here:
Resident Advisor Contact. This should be at the top of the list. If anything happens in the dorm, and your student needs a housing contact, their Resident Advisor is the first person to contact. They are trained to create a welcoming environment and assist with any situations that arise pertaining to dorm life. Roommate smoking in the room? Talk to the RA. Someone making too much noise during quiet hours? Talk to the RA. It’s always good to have their phone number and email address handy.
Parents’ Contacts. Recently, my daughter received a call from a college roommate of a friend of hers. The roommate said, “XXXX has had too much to drink and needs to go to the hospital. I can’t get into her phone to get her mom’s number. Does your mom have her mom’s number?” Indeed, I did. I gave the number to the roommate, and she was able to contact the girl’s mom. Therefore, I cannot express strongly enough that roommates need to have phone numbers of each other’s parents in their own phones, and it’s a great idea to have parents’ numbers posted on a list of emergency numbers hanging in their dorm room.
Nearby adult family/friends. My brother lives two hours from the university my daughter will be attending. I have college friends who live in the same town as the university, and I have friends whose children are students at the university. I will add their names and numbers to the list, because you never know when your child will need some moral support, a health advocate, or help with something else. It’s always good to know there’s someone who has your back nearby.
Urgent Care/Doctor/Student Health Center. The names, addresses, and contact info for all of these need to be included on the list. If a student gets sick with the flu, they need to be able to see a doctor. Or maybe they have a stomach bug? Of course, with telemedicine, they can often “see” a doctor online, thank God. But if they need to actually see a doctor in person, you don’t want them to waste time trying to find them online. They can just look at the list, call the office, and go!
Emergency Room. Obviously, there are some situations that require a call to 911…broken leg, possible back or neck injuries, lots of blood, bad falls, etc. But sometimes, there are situations in which a roommate can get your child to the emergency room. Maybe it’s a kidney stone or a bad case of the flu. They need to know where several emergency rooms are, because the first one they go to could have a long wait. We found two nearby emergency rooms for our daughter’s list and one that’s a little farther away but usually less chaotic (according to the parents’ page).
Emergency Dentist. No one expects to fall and break a tooth, but it happens. You don’t want your child to waste time trying to find the info for an emergency dentist. Find one now. We found two near the university she will be attending, and we added them to the list.
Mechanic. If your child is taking a car to college, you should know things happen. I took a car to college, and during that time, I had two flat tires that had to be repaired. I also had an issue in which my brake lights were staying on. It was an easy fix (a button was sticking under the brake pedal), but I wouldn’t have known how to fix it on my own. Find a reliable auto service place to help your student. Add that information to the list. It’s also a good idea to have a AAA membership for your student, and they should have the emergency roadside service number if their car has it.
Pharmacy. It is essential to find a pharmacy near your child’s college or university. I have written about this before. We use a local CVS in Charlotte, so we will pick a CVS near her university. I’ve been in a jam in another city before, and I was thankful I could have a CVS in the area access my prescription and fill what I needed. To me, a good, reliable pharmacy is every bit as important as a good, reliable doctor or dentist. The phone number definitely needs to be on the list, but especially if you have a child who takes life/death medication.
Food Delivery. I know…you might not think it’s important, but I do. They will definitely figure this out on their own, but it’s cool for them to have a list of a few places on the front end, for those nights they just don’t want to eat in the dining hall. Don’t get me wrong. I hope my child will opt to eat on campus as often as possible, but I know what it’s like to want food from somewhere else. My friend, Angela, and I used to order from Wings & Things every Sunday night in college. At $7.49 for each of us in 1985 (about $17 in today’s money), it was too expensive to eat all the time, but we could order once a week!
Other not-so-urgent things to know: there are other places that can be essential for life in college. A lot depends on the type of person your child is and what they enjoy. I feel sure mine will need to know about all the local boutiques…not an emergency, but essential. She will need to know where a local laundry drop-off service is located. She’ll need to know where the safest gas stations are located.
I’m sure I have forgotten some, so feel free to send me additions, and I will edit/add. All these numbers also need to be in your child’s phone. I will have mine add them as EMERGENCY DENTIST (name). If I know she is prepared for unexpected situations, I can rest more easily.
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