College Parent Pages

College parent pages.

Y’all, I have written about Facebook college parent pages before in another piece (you can see it here), but really…I feel like I didn’t do them justice. If you have a child in college, and you follow a college parent page on Facebook, you know what I’m talking about…the insanity. If you follow a parent page and don’t see the insanity, well…you might be the insanity. It’s like when people say “every family has a weird cousin, but if you don’t know who it is, it’s probably you.”

Seriously, though, if you see your own post here, please don’t be offended. Different people think differently. These are just a few of the ones my friends and I have pulled from the “interwebs.”

Stay with me here, because I am about to enlighten the parents who have not been subjected to this yet. Oh my! It’s something new every day! I know. I could “unfollow” the parent pages, but every now and then, there is some useful information. Besides, if I unfollowed the pages, what would I have to laugh about with my friends?

I will not name colleges or universities, but I asked some of my friends to send me some of the posts from their parent pages too, and I made a compilation. Hold onto your hat, folks.

  • I just saw this one on a Tiktok a friend (someone I have known since college!) shared with me earlier today: Where can students fill their water bottles? What about washing them? Yes, the parent of an incoming college freshman actually posted that on a parent page. What in the world? The Tiktok was funny, because the lady who made it (user881865674708) totally took parents to task for ridiculous posts like this one. Can your 18-yr-old can figure out where to fill up a water bottle or wash it?!?! If you’re asking a question like this, you might need to keep your student home and teach him/her how to do menial tasks.
  • Here’s one another friend sent me: My daughter wants to join a sorority, but we aren’t sure we can afford it. She will rush, but if we find it too expensive after she pledges, she will drop. No, no, and no! Costs are usually outlined pretty clearly. Where my daughter is going, parents must sign a form saying we know the costs associated with joining. At SEC schools with sorority houses, it’s expensive. If a chapter loses a member, they lose the money they were expecting from that member to help pay the cost of running the chapter and the house! It is unethical and unfair to the chapter…not to mention how unfair it is to your daughters. If Greek life is important to the student, and the cost is prohibitive, maybe they need to go to college somewhere with less expensive sororities…the ones that don’t have houses.
  • I saw this one today: Tuition bills are being posted! I’m from (out of state). It’s an awful amount I have to pay. What the what?!?!?! Did you not know that before you let your kid enroll??? It’s easy to find out the cost! Don’t agree to it and then complain publicly about it…you knew it going in!
  • Here’s a funny one: We are trying to buy tickets to the XXXX football game, but the cost is outrageous! Welcome to the SEC, honey. And if it’s a rival or Homecoming? You can plan to pay. Also, know the difference between Florida/Florida State, Ole Miss (Mississippi)/Mississippi State, etc. Sorry, it’s a pet peeve, since I have been following football my whole life.
  • One a friend sent me, because she is tired of seeing posts like this: I’m driving back from “University” to our hometown of XXXX, and I need a place to stop midway. Can someone tell me what that might be? This one cracks me up. Really? Have you never left your hometown? Never used an atlas or a GPS?!?! It’s not that hard, people! I worry about humanity…
  • Frequent post: My child needs a tutor… Let your child find the tutor, for goodness sake!
  • Here’s one: I’m not sure if our health plan, XXXX, is accepted in [the state where the daughter is attending college]. Is anyone familiar with it? Do you know if it is accepted there? Hmmm…how about you call your health plan company and ask them?!?!
  • And another one from someone whose child goes to an SEC school: I don’t understand why athletes can have housing all four years, but my child cannot? I can’t…I just can’t. Lol!
  • This one is a doozy: My child will be flying to school from out of state. He has never flown by himself before, and I am concerned about him navigating the Atlanta airport. Any advice? OMG. If he can’t navigate an airport, he needs to go to college closer to home. Also, I hope you used a fake name on the post, because he will be mortified if (when) he hears about that crazy post. Here’s how I look at airport navigation: If you can read, you can survive.
  • And while we are talking about airports: My daughter missed her connection at XXX International Airport. Can a parent tell me if there are any hotels located nearby? First, if it’s an international airport that is a hub for an airline (thus, the connection), the answer is probably “yes, there are hotels nearby.” Secondly, a quick Google check will answer that question, and your daughter (if you let her) will even be able to find out if they offer a free shuttle to/from the airport. Lots of airport hotels do.
  • Another example of “let them do it”: I’m looking for recommended clubs/fraternities/organizations for my freshman son. Again, no, no, and no. Let him figure it out! Did you pick all his activities in high school? If so, it’s time to let go, Dad. Let him figure it out.
  • Here’s a favorite: My daughter is having trouble getting dates since she got to college. Any ideas on where she can meet potential suitors? Holy smokes! A mom is literally trying to find her daughter a hookup! No, mom! You are not her matchmaker or her pimp! Let her find her own dates! It might take some time, but most people do get dates if they want them.
  • Here’s a tricky one: What is a reasonable allowance for my freshman child? First of all, we don’t know your income. This is something that might be better to discuss with a close friend who has a child in college. What is reasonable to some people might be outrageous to others. Only you know your financial situation.
  • Also, lots of questions like this: Where can I find my child’s syllabus? Can I see my child’s midterm grades somewhere? How do I know if my child is doing OK his first semester? Could your parents see all that when you went to college? Think about that. If they couldn’t see it, you don’t need to see it either.
  • And this one: Did anyone have a child who attended the XXXX Camp for freshmen before school started? It’s supposed to help freshmen make friends before school starts. If not, how did your child make friends when he/she got there? Are you serious? Mama…let him grow up. He will make friends somehow…probably in his dorm…if you don’t move in with him, because it sounds like you think you need to do that. He will be fine if you leave him alone.
  • This one made me laugh: Where can my child open a bank account? Hmmm…at a bank?
  • How about this? My son has tickets to a concert [an hour away] in November. Does anyone else have a son/daughter who will be going? Maybe my son can ride with them? As my mother would say, “Oh, dear Gussy.” If your child really wants to go to the concert four months away, he will have plenty of time to make friends with similar interests in the months leading up to it. You do not need to arrange his transportation for him, and if you do, well….
  • And this: My daughter is a sophomore and needs a job. Where can she find one? Hmmm…shouldn’t she be looking for the job instead of you, Mom? Are you going to fill out the application for her, too?
  • Ending with some comic relief: My child is staying in the dorm for orientation. Does anyone know what he should bring? A friend sent a picture of this post to me via text. She said the answer should be “condoms.”

I know…I got a little snarky, but sometimes, it’s hard to weed through the insanity to find the posts that are actually meaningful/helpful. If you think I’m the only one thinking this way, think again. Here is another piece from Medium.com. Please, don’t embarrass your child by posting these questions. Let your college student figure things out! Somehow, we figured it all out (in the 1980s) without the internet, and they will figure it out too. Honestly, my parents probably didn’t even know my major until I graduated. Let’s allow these kids to do their thing…grow up…figure it all out!

Parents’ School Year Goals?

Looking through “the Facebook” today, I came across a friend’s post asking, “Parents, what are your goals for this school year?”

Am I supposed to have school year goals? I’d never considered it, but maybe I’ve been missing out on something. Maybe, while teachers and students are setting goals for the new school year, I should be setting some goals of my own. I’ve asked other friends, and they looked at me like I had fourteen eyes. One of them said she has one goal: drink more wine. Another one said her goal is to keep her children organized for the school year. I told her, “Good luck with that.” I’m not a terribly organized person, so personally, I’d probably hurt my daughter’s organizational skills rather than helping them.

So, after talking with friends, I decided to make my own list of goals for the school year, and they are goals for me, not my daughter:

  • Family time. My first goal is to make sure we carve out some family time. Between school sports, school, real life, and social lives, this can get neglected. This school year, I will make it a priority…to make sure we have time to just be together…maybe dinnertime, maybe watching sports together, maybe vacations…whatever…I will make it happen.
  • Have fun. This is always at the top of my list. No matter what we are doing, we can make it fun. That doesn’t mean we don’t take things seriously; it means we approach it with joy. I’ll use my library volunteer job as an example. I volunteer every other Tuesday, and the job entails checking out books for students, shelving, reloading paper in printers, etc. Sounds boring, right? And I’m sure it can be, but it has always been fun for me. I look forward to it every time, because I became friends with the people who work there, and it’s always fun to spend time with friends. There’s nothing wrong with sharing jokes or life stories while you work! I try to become friends with people in my volunteer positions, so it feels like I’m hanging out with friends while we’re working.
  • Enjoy lunch with friend(s) at least once a week, and once a month, I need to try a restaurant in town I’ve never visited. My friend, Linda, and I meet regularly, and we tend to meet at the same four or five places. Next time, we are going to a new place, and I’ve found the perfect place for us to try. It’s easy to keep going to the same places, and I won’t abandon those, but if I try a new restaurant once a month, that’s twelve new lunch places in a year!
  • Laugh a lot…a whole lot. At the risk of sounding like a song from Mary Poppins, I love to laugh! Really…it’s one of my favorite things to do. I grew up with a brother who loves to laugh and naturally makes people laugh, so I’ve had a lot of laughing practice. It cures a lot of ills. Therefore, I’m going to try to keep myself out of non-laughing situations.
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  • Spend time outdoors…all year. I love being outdoors. I love sunshine. I don’t love camping, so don’t get any ideas about that. In spring, summer, and fall, this doesn’t take much effort. But winter? That’s another story. It’s exactly when I need to get outdoors…to avoid SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder…or what I call the wintertime blues. So this year, I am going to try to spend some time outdoors even when it’s cold. Brrrr.
  • Make some new friends. We have some new families coming to our school this year, and I plan to welcome them with open arms. You never know where you’ll find a friend…and I love fun, new friends…especially ones who like to try new restaurants and laugh a lot.
  • Travel when we can. High school means lots more time spent on homework, and it means lots more time dedicated to school sports. Whenever we can squeeze in some travel fun, we will do exactly that.
  • Exercise more. OK, I had to throw in one of those things that is a “must do.” I need to exercise more, so I added it to the list. If I can find people who want to laugh with me while exercising, that’s even better!
  • Watch more football. Yes, I’m putting it on the list. I watch a lot of football anyway, but I want to watch more. Don’t worry, Bama fans, because I am Schleprock, I will not watch Bama games in real time. I will record them and watch them after the fact. But I want to watch other games…a lot. Besides, this is a good way to fulfill the first goal I listed…spending time with family. How many more days till football season starts?

And those, my friends, are my back-to-school goals…nothing education-related at all. Sure, I could make my goals all about my child, who is now a high school student, but guess what…school is her job. Yes, if she asks me for help or I think she’s having issues, I will help her, of course. She knows that. But she also knows it is her responsibility to take care of school work. After all, I’ve already done 9th grade. It’s a lot more difficult than when I was in school, but she knows I will help her if she needs it, and she knows if I can’t help her, I will help her find someone who can. The one school-related thing I will do is continue to encourage her to establish relationships with her teachers…they can definitely help her if she needs help.

Let’s get this party started!

My Favorite Sports Website

It’s no secret that I love sports. I’m not a great athlete, but I’m a fantastic spectator. I love to watch lacrosse, field hockey, baseball (in person), soccer, football, basketball, tennis…I just love to watch sports.

My favorite sports are the ones in which my 14-yr-old daughter is participating. She plays middle school field hockey, basketball, and lacrosse.

However, my favorite non-daughter-participating sport is football. I love professional football, middle and high school football, but most of all, I love college football…specifically, Southeastern Conference Football.

I’ve been known to scare young children when yelling at the television during an SEC game. Unfortunately, I can’t watch all the SEC games, but I like to stay informed.

Lucky for me, there is a website, run by two young gentlemen, that caters to the SEC Football fan. It’s called Front Porch Football. To see their Facebook page (please like/follow it for updates and invite friends!), click here. You can go straight to the website by clicking here. Its creators, brothers Chris and Brendan Paschal, are the sons of my friend, Maureen, a school librarian who also has a website called Raising the Capable Student (click here…I’ll be telling you more about it in a future post).

The tagline for Front Porch Football is “We take SEC football as seriously as you do.” And they do.11825968_401491053378587_1538355822811269543_n

Chris and Brendan started Front Porch Football when they were both students at Wofford College in Spartanburg, South Carolina. Brendan is a senior there now, and Chris is finishing up his first year of law school at the University of South Carolina.

It all began in the summer of 2015. The idea came about while the brothers were sharing some BBQ at the Q Shack in Charlotte (see the Q Shack website here). According to the brothers, Chris was doing his usual complaining about “how the national pundits don’t know what they’re talking about” when discussing college football. Apparently, he believes pundits on radio shows should be able to answer callers’ questions. According to Chris, “Knowing who won the 1995 Iron Bowl or the latest on a 3-star prospect from Moultrie, Georgia, isn’t too much to ask.” Their mother (my friend, Maureen) suggested to Chris that they start their own website, and the rest is history.

They needed a name. Naming a website is tough. You want it to be catchy, but you want it to be relevant. Because their site is devoted mostly to SEC Football, Chris and Brendan wanted it to be authentic and Southern, but it needed to get attention. They thought, “How many Southerners out there sit on their front porch and talk SEC football?” A name was born. It seemed only natural to call it Front Porch Football.

Now that I’ve gotten all the formal stuff out of the way, I want to tell you what I LOVE about this site. First, it is informative. These guys know their stuff. Second, it is entertaining and oftentimes, downright hilarious.

They write about various SEC programs and do post-game wrap-ups, from which I garner valuable information and insight. They also started some podcasts that are usually under 15 minutes (I’m the guest in one…click here), and they’ve made videos analyzing matchups, picking winners with guest pickers, interviewing a middle-aged University of Alabama alumna (ahem!), and just talking football. I love their videos of weekly picks, because they do their homework. Usually, I have my own ideas about how a game will shake out, but often, they give me a different perspective. I only get mad if they pick against Alabama. They know not to look me in the eye if they pick against Bama. I’ll give them the wicked “stinkeye” my mother taught me.

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BUT what I find most entertaining are their original, hilarious videos. You may be familiar with their video that went viral on October 16, 2017. It is titled “Help a Tennessee Vol,” and it received over ONE MILLION views. In the video, with Sarah McLachlan singing “In the Arms of an Angel,” distraught Tennessee fans appear while a speaker asks viewers to be “an angel for a helpless Tennessee fan.” Of course, it’s a parody of all those ads we see all the time for helping orphaned animals. The University of Tennessee Volunteers have had a few rough years in their football program, and this past season wasn’t any better, resulting in the firing of their Head Coach, Butch Jones. Brendan saw an opportunity in the Vols’ misfortune; he created the video, and the public ran with it. (The University of Tennessee subsequently hired Jeremy Pruitt, the former defensive coordinator at The University of Alabama, and Butch Jones was hired as an off-field analyst at Alabama.)

The “Help a Tennessee Vol” video was shared on Saturday Down South and countless other SEC football sites. You can see it here.

Chris says the videos are Brendan’s “favorite thing to do regarding Front Porch Football, and he thoroughly enjoys poking fun at teams and fans.”

Other funny videos have featured “Burns the Backup,” in which the Paschals’ friend, Ryan Burns, portrays the life of a backup quarterback. I wouldn’t mind seeing him as a recurring character. You can see that video here. There are other videos featuring the brothers’ funny friends and classmates in contests naming all the SEC head coaches, complete with music from The Price is Right (click here); “The Battle of the Brothers” (in which the brothers display some really good “stinkeye” that rivals my own) before the Alabama/Georgia National Championship game (click here); and other hilarious scenarios. One of my personal favorites features the brothers in a parody of Home Alone’s “Angels with Filthy Souls,” retooled as “Playoffs with Filthy Bowls” (click here). Clearly, I enjoy the videos. They are good…really good. You can see ALL their videos by clicking here.

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And I can’t forget the polls they have on the site’s Facebook page. Recent polls have asked followers, “Which is the real Death Valley: Clemson or LSU?”(LSU won) and “Better Rivalry: Iron Bowl or UNC/Duke Basketball?” (That last one was a close one. Iron Bowl won, and I might or might not have had a hand in making sure the Iron Bowl won.)

I’ve known these gentlemen since long before Front Porch Football was even a thought. They are hardworking, clever, witty, and they come from a nice family…have to make sure you know that! In talking with them about the website recently, I asked them what their goals are for Front Porch Football.

They didn’t hesitate. They want to “establish a strong fan base that ranges from the hardcore fanatic to the casual fan to the Grandma/wife/brother who doesn’t know much about SEC football.” They know there are people who just watch the games and people who live for the games. There are fans who watch it because there’s nothing else to do, and then there are the fans who, on any given day, might be re-watching a game from the 1980s, with the late, great Keith Jackson (you remember him, “Whoa, Nellie!”) commentating. They want all these people to follow their page/site and contribute their opinions and comments. They want everyone to become engaged in the discussion.

They say they created Front Porch Football for the fans, so their other big goal is to provide fans with a platform to voice their thoughts about SEC Football. They say they will be making some exciting changes this summer to the site to get more fans involved. I can hardly wait!

Down the line, they’d like to expand their brand and product, “especially into the apparel market.” As students, they know money doesn’t grow on trees, so they’d like to bring some quality apparel to the market at an affordable price. Actually, Chris’s words were, “Of course, each school has their own swag, but it feels like you have to sell a kidney to buy a decent shirt.” The apparel is a longer range goal. Personally, I’d love to own some apparel from my favorite sports website. I’ve already told them I’m first in line when they get some t-shirts out there.

So here’s the skinny: if you love college football as much as I do, this is a great site for you. If you have no knowledge of football but would like to impress someone with your football “knowledge,” you can learn a lot at Front Porch Football. Even if you are just a very casual college football fan, these guys are wicked funny, making Front Porch Football worth your time.

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If websites could have cheerleaders, I’d cheer for this one.

***If you like the videos you watched through my links, please go to Front Porch Football on Facebook and like/follow their site. ALSO, please share this story in support of these guys and invite your friends to follow them as well!***

RTR!

Kelly