Tag / student

by Kelly Mattei

Dorm Stuff on Amazon Prime Days 2025!

I’m not going to waste any time…just getting straight to the good stuff. Need dorm items at a good discount? Click through the links below! (As an Amazon associate, I receive commissions on items purchased through my links.)

Some of these are EARLY DEALS you can get now, while others might start tomorrow. Get these deals!

  • Fire TV. If your student wants a TV in his/her dorm room, Amazon has a great deal on an Amazon Fire 32″ TV. It’s what our daughter has, and it’s what we have in our upstairs bedrooms at home. For us, they have been great. Purchase for just $69.99 (at publication time) here. That’s 46% off the regular price! Or maybe your student wants/needs the 55- inch Fire TV. It’s almost half off, priced at just $189.99 (regularly $349.99)! That’s a steal! See it here.

  • Big Fire TV. If you have a son or daughter who lives in an apartment with roommates, they might need a bigger TV. Right now, Amazon has a 75″ Fire TV at 48% off…that’s $569.99 for a huge TV (regularly $1099.99)! Purchase here.

  • Clothes Steamer. I know you think your student doesn’t need a steamer, but girls need a steamer…especially if they are participating in sorority recruitment in the south. You can get a handheld steamer or a standing steamer. When our daughter was a freshman, I got her a standing steamer, because I know it wouldn’t “walk away” to someone else’s room. You can purchase one on sale at Amazon here. If you prefer a handheld steamer, you can get one at a deep discount here.

  • Mattress Topper. A college freshman moving into a dorm needs a mattress topper. Lately, it seems most dorm beds are sized Twin XL, so I’m sharing a deal on one that size. Bedsure offers a 4-inch topper that gets great reviews for just $99.99 through Amazon at time of writing. Purchase here. If you’re looking for something more high-end for your little darling, I highly recommend the Sleepyhead brand 3-inch gel topper you can purchase here. It’s not on sale, and it’s pricey ($399), but there is a coupon on Amazon that makes it $60 less than normal…$339. If you prefer the Sleepyhead brand 2-inch gel topper, it costs less and has a coupon right now too. Originally priced at $299, you can get it now for $259 with the coupon on Amazon. Get it here. It’s a great, proven brand. We got our daughter the 3-inch gel topper from Sleepyhead when she was a freshman, and she used it for two years and loved it. It’s all about personal budget and preference. ***Double-check the size of the beds in your student’s dorms before buying.***

  • Moving Bags. You’ll need them, and Amazon has a Prime Deal on some heavy-duty moving bags right now. Purchase before they’re gone here.

  • Backpack. A few different brands are being offered at great prices in early Prime Days deals. Check these out: Zorfin 26L backpack for $16.99 here. Amazon Basics backpack for $20.13 here. Or check out the huge assortment here.

  • Desk Organizer. There are a few different desk organizers from Amazon Basics on Early Prime Days deals…different shapes at different prices. Click on the price to see the organizer: $8.99, $10.99, $15.99, and $22.47. Keep in mind…there are only so many set aside for the bargain prices. Right now, at time of writing, the $22.47 organizer is showing 7% claimed.

  • Air purifier. If your student is moving into an older dorm, you definitely need an air purifier. My daughter lived in a brand new dorm her freshman year, and I found that it was dusty, simply because it was new construction. We got her a small purifer. Right now, there’s an early Prime Days deal on one from Levoit for just $39.97 here. Or pay more but still get a Prime Days deal on a “smart” one from BlueAir here.

  • Velvet Hangers. NOT a Prime Days deal, but your students needs these, and they are inexpensive. They take up less room that plastic hangers, and because they are “velvet,” the provide a non-slip surface…less likely to find clothes on the floor. Highly recommend! Get them for your student here.

I’m watching the deals in all categories…not just college buys…on Prime Days (starting July 8!), and I will try to get the info out there as fast as I can!

I will be posting more deals as I come across them! Happy Shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

Shark Air Drying and Styling System

Shark HD430 FlexStyle Air Styling & Drying System

Someone on your list wants a quality air styling and drying system, but you don’t want to fork out almost $500 for the Dyson? The Shark HD430 FlexStyle Air Styling and Drying System is the answer! I have a friend who called me yesterday telling me she had gotten one for her birthday, and she loves it. The best part? It works great, and it’s about $200 less than the Dyson. If someone on your list would like a drying/styling system, this could be your ticket! Order now to get it in time for Christmas!

Purchase here.

by Kelly Mattei

Best Segway Electric Scooter Holiday Deals

Best Segway Electric Scooter Holiday Deals

If you have a college student or someone who just enjoys electric scooters on your list, here are some great Black Friday Deals on Segway Scooters from Amazon:

  • Segway Ninebot Kick Scooter E2/E2 Plus/E2 Pro/ES1L. Specs: Powerful Motor, 12.4-15.5 mph, Cruise Control, Front Suspension (ES1L Only), Portable Electric Scooter for Adults up to 198 lbs, UL-2272 2271 Certified. This is a great scooter for use around a college campus or neighborhood, and it has a solid name brand behind it in Segway. It has a 15.5 mile range and goes up to 15.5 miles per hour, so it’s great for a student to get to and from class. Plus, the price is right. This portable scooter weight between 31 and 41 pounds, depending on the model you pick. Pricing is 30% off (at time of publication) on Amazon, with prices starting at $279. Take advantage of the great deal on a great product here.

  • Segway Ninebot MAX Electric Kick Scooter Max G30LP-25miles w/Powerful Motor, Long Miles Range, 18.6 Top Speed, Scooter for Adults UL-2271 2272 Certified. This Segway Scooter carries riders up to 220 pounds and goes up to 18.6 miles per hour. This is AMAZON’S CHOICE, and it’s priced at 43% off at $399.99 as a Black Friday Deal. Again, a great name in Segway, this scooter is efficient and portable. Weighing merely 38.6 lbs, it’s easily foldable with just one click, enabling seamless transportation and storage. These scooter sell like crazy, because of their range, portability, and weight capacity. Get it now here.

  • Segway ZT3 Pro Electric Scooter, 24.9 Mph Top Speed, 43.5 Miles Max. Range, w/Dual Suspension, Flash Charge, 1600W Peak Motor, Folding Off Road Scooter for Adults UL2272 2271 Certified. Another AMAZON’S CHOICE, this is a great electric scooter for the enthusiast. My husband loves this for the fun of it, but I know people who use it to get to and from work in urban settings…or even just running errands! It offer off-road power for the enthusiast. Conquer any terrain with 11″ tubeless tires and a 650W motor (1600W peak) reaching speeds up to 24.9 mph. It also has extended range: travel up to 43.5 miles (in ECO mode) per charge with the 596Wh battery and RideyLONG tech. Easily tackle steep inclines with a 25% climbing ability for smooth ascents.Dual front telescopic and rear spring suspension provide a cushioned ride on all terrains. It also charges fast and is safety certified. At publication time, it is offered on Amazon for $949.90 (14% off) and free shipping with your Amazon Prime membership! Get it here.

Let’s go SEGWAY SHOPPING!

by Kelly Mattei

Save 33% on KOIOS Air Purifier for Healthy Dorm Living

Kid moving to college dorm or dusty apartment? Have pets? A KOIOS air purifier could be a big help in air quality for you or your college student. Everyone who has ever been to college or sent a kid to live in a dorm knows sickness runs through dorms. Why not do everything you can to purify the air in your student’s space? Get one for the dorm room and a few for home! I saw a video recently in which about 50 college freshmen were asked, “What ONE item would you recommend for dorm living?” Most of them said, “Air purifier.” They are living it right now, so they know. This KOIOS model is “Amazon’s Choice,” meaning it gets great reviews, and as an Early Black Friday Deal, it’s 33% off! Get it for $59.99 (reg $89.99) here. It would be a great gift for a current or future college student! It helps purify the air in a large room…up to 1200 square feet! Use your Amazon Prime membership and get free shipping!

by Kelly Mattei

You Have A High School Graduate

You have a high school graduate.

I just saw a video of Jennifer Garner on Instagram. She was crying, because her daughter just graduated from high school. In one clip, she asks, “How are we gonna make it?!” Of course, lots of people responded, but my favorite comment was, “Why aren’t people making us casseroles?” I laughed until I cried thinking of a mom being so distraught over her child leaving that she needed comfort food, and while I loved that comment, because I also love any opportunity to make or receive a casserole, I know a secret.

My secret? Having your child graduate and move off to college (or the military or trade school or ATC school or the police academy or whatever) is not the end of the world. In fact, it’s the opposite! If you have more than one child, you’re likely to feel like your life continues on about the same trajectory until all your babies have left the nest. I have one child, so when my daughter went off to college, my husband and I became empty-nesters…empty-nesters who are still paying all our daughter’s bills, but empty-nesters, nonetheless. And you know what? After we dropped her off at her university 450 miles away, the world didn’t come to an end! Our old life ended, but a new life began, and it’s a lot of fun!

I saw a video clip from the TV show, Modern Family, recently that really hit home. In the video, Jay, the family patriarch, talks about how we fall in love with a baby, and then the baby becomes a toddler, and on and on through different stages of life, but we never have time to miss the baby, because it’s replaced with another version of itself…a “toddler with the greatest laugh on earth.” And it’s true! I have loved every stage of our daughter’s life! Has it always been easy? That first year was especially tough. I remember thinking on her first birthday, “I survived the first year.” Don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed the first year too, but there was some survival involved. I think the fact that it’s not easy is what makes us appreciate it. Struggling with a newborn just bonds us!

My next door neighbor, who is a grandmother several times over, told me recently that she feels like those early years with kids at home are a real gift, but they are a sacrifice too. Once our kids are grown and out of the house, we miss them, but we are grateful for the gift they continue to be (even with crises), and we appreciate not making the daily sacrifices. Since our daughter went off to college, my husband I don’t have to get up early every morning to make sure our daughter gets out to school. Like many people these days, we can do our work from home…or anywhere, for that matter. If we want to leave town during the school year, we can! If we want to eat dinner standing over the kitchen sink, we can! For me, I love that our lives are no longer built around a school schedule. Of course, there are other sacrifices. College is not cheap. Trips abroad for our daughter are not cheap. Also, we have to worry from afar instead of worrying about her in our own home. If she’s in Italy, we worry about her in Italy. If she’s in Tuscaloosa, we worry about her in Tuscaloosa. However, the minute-to-minute sacrifices aren’t there like they are when our children are younger. I don’t spend my weekends at soccer or lacrosse tournaments anymore, praise the Lord! I don’t volunteer at her school anymore, thank God. At the same time, though, we don’t get to watch her play lacrosse, and we don’t have her here every day anymore.

Is it difficult when they first leave? Yes. I’m not gonna kid you about that. The house is quieter. The friends are not in and out all the time anymore, and at first, I was sad about that. Then, by the Christmas of her freshman year, I guess I had grown accustomed to having my own space, because when all the friends were here, I was surprised at how loud and intrusive it could feel! Don’t get me wrong…after a couple of days, it became the norm again, and by the time she went back to school that January, I had to get used to the peace and quiet again.

All this is my long way of saying this: embrace the change! It’s a great stage of life! Do I miss my girl when she’s not here? Yes, but I also appreciate the time she is here, and I appreciate the extra time to do what I want to do. If you have a child who has graduated and is leaving soon for college, the military, or something else, take the time right now, before they go, to make a plan for yourself. Know in advance how you are going to fill up that quiet time! It’s easier to adjust if you have a plan. Play mahjong! Play pickleball! Learn to play bridge! Volunteer somewhere! After our daughter left, I started getting more exercise, and I spend a lot of time planning vacations. I don’t go on vacation constantly, but it’s fun to research destinations. I also spend time with friends once or twice a week.

You can do this, Mama! I think you will find empty-nesting is not scary. It’s fun. Fill up the weekends doing what you want to do! Embrace the change!

by Kelly Mattei

College Student Struggled?

College student struggled?

The grades have come in for first semester, so by now, parents everywhere know if their college student did well, struggled, or failed. I have a friend whose daughter’s first semester was a disappointment, and I told her what I’m going to tell you: One semester does not a failure make.

It happens every year. Kids who were successful in high school get to college and struggle. Often, it’s students who skated through high school, so they never really learned to study. Other students went to college thinking they were the smartest people in the room, so they decided to start with difficult classes, and they weren’t really prepared. They should have started out with a lighter schedule.

My daughter is a sophomore in college, so I know lots of college students. For students who go to college where football is big and Greek life starts in the fall, I always tell those students, “Take it easy on yourself academically first semester. You’re going to be adjusting to college. You’re rushing a sorority/fraternity. Football season is a lot of fun, and there will be lots of distractions. Don’t make the first semester more difficult than it has to be.” My daughter listened and did very well her first semester. Some of her friends even listened! Others…not so much…and they struggled or even failed first semester. They came home and said, “I should have listened.”

But what I want to tell you is that your student can recover! One of my very best friends made a 1.0 her first semester in college! Her dad sold her car and sent her back to college without it, telling her she had one more semester to get her act together. When she went home for spring break, she asked her dad where her car was, and he replied, “You mean my car? The one I paid for? I sold it!” And you know what? At the end of that second semester, her grades were much better. He got her a new car. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think the car had anything to do with it. I think my friend simply buckled down, because she knew her dad would make her leave school and go home if she didn’t do well her second semester.

Another friend had dreams of going to law school. After two semesters of playing too much, her grades were in the toilet, and her parents did not send her back to the university. Interestingly, after working for a couple of years, her parents sent her back to the university. She did well. She graduated and went to law school! Yet another friend made a 1.6 his first semester of college and eventually went on to a prestigious medical school.

Sometimes, kids just need a little kick in the pants…not literally, of course. I mean they need a little wake-up call. Many of them have never experienced failure, so seeing bad grades at the end of the semester is a shock to their system! Some are motivated by it. Others, not so much. And some just need a little more time to mature. What I’m trying to tell you is, “Don’t give up on your kid!” It’s OK to punish your student. It’s OK to sell the car or use whatever “currency” is important to them, but I have seen many first semester failures turn into successes.

Hang in there, Mom and Dad. Encourage your student to work hard and get the help he/she needs…tutors, study sessions, office hours with professors, time management, etc. Check in regularly. Be your student’s cheerleader.

One semester does not a failure make.

by Kelly Mattei

Take a Car to College?

Take a car to college?

Our daughter is a sophomore in college about 450 miles away from home. Last year, when she was a freshman, we sent her with her car. Her university does not discourage freshmen from bringing cars, and honestly, we are a driving family. We are people who like to “have our own horse.” Is it control? Maybe. I don’t need to control everyone else, but I do need to control me, and well…the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

The Facebook Parent Pages

Ahhh…the Facebook parent pages…a great source of entertainment. If you have a child who will be attending college soon or is presently attending college, all you have to do is go to the parent pages for the university to see every possible opinion on every possible topic you can imagine. Questions I never even considered asking pop up daily, and often, I get a good laugh. The latest entertainment on the parent pages for my daughter’s college is the discussion of cars on campus. One parent from out-of-state posted, asking if other parents had an opinion about their child taking a car freshman year. You can imagine the responses! Or can you?!? Holy smokes!

Some parents said they didn’t think any child needed to take a car to college. Several said, “I recommend no car.” Others said, “I think no child should take a car freshman year.” Bah humbug! I didn’t say anything in response, but I was thinking, “You do your thing, and I will do mine.” Some complained about parking issues. My daughter lived on campus last year and is living on campus again this year…no issues with finding parking so far. Yes, I had to purchase a $400 parking permit for fall and a $265 one for spring, but that goes with the territory. I actually feel pretty good about that, since it also offers roadside assistance anywhere on campus. Her university definitely doesn’t discourage freshmen from bringing cars. Heck, her university built a parking deck just for the girls who lived in her freshman dorm! Several parents on the parents page were like me and said they sent their kids with cars. One said, “I’m so glad mine has her car!” Amen, sista! Me too! Does that mean I think parents who don’t send cars with their kids are making a mistake? Nope. Nope. Nope. I will say it louder for those in the back: You do your thing, and I will do mine. Clearly, we all do things differently, and you know what? That is absolutely OK.

Do I think a car is a necessity at my daughter’s college? No. Will students survive without it? You bet. Mine would survive without it, but as my mother would ask, “Is that what you want her to do? Survive? Don’t you want her to thrive?” I know having a car is not important to everyone. I have a friend whose daughter didn’t even learn to drive until she had graduated from the University of Florida. It simply wasn’t important to her. Our daughter, however, is happier if she has a car. She is her mother’s daughter. You know how couples have code words for getting out of parties or social situations? You know…your husband somehow works “unicorn” or “confetti” into a sentence at a party, and you know he’s ready to go? Well, in our family, we look at our cars as our own “way out” when we need it. Cars are our mode of transportation, but they are also our “escape.”

Another reason for her to take a car? Our daughter undoubtedly has more driving experience than most people her age. She probably has more driving experience than people who are several years older than she is! Before she got her license, she had 120 driving hours, double the required amount in the state of North Carolina. I insisted that she have double the hours so she would feel comfortable behind the wheel of the car. In the four years that she has had her license, she has likely driven 100,000 miles. Therefore, I trust her instincts and reflexes better than I trust most other people’s instincts and reflexes. Personally, I would rather she drive herself than ride with most other people. For us, there is also the question of how to get back and forth to the airport without a car. The airport is about 45-50 minutes from her university. If she doesn’t have a car, she becomes dependent on friends or a car service that only books as groups on busy days, meaning she, potentially, could have to wait up to two hours after her flight arrives. Nope. For me, that is not an option. I want her to be able to get off the plane, into a car, and back to school as efficiently as possible. And depending on friends to do it? Well, if the friend is not on the exact same flights on the outbound and return, then it might not work out. Even if the friends are scheduled on the same return flight, they might miss a connection (we live in a hub city with nonstop flights, so we won’t), and then there’s a problem. That’s just not something I’m willing to worry about, especially since sending her car is not a hardship on us.

Maybe parents should make a list of pros and cons if they have trouble deciding. It was an easy decision for us, but if I had to make a list of pros and cons for us, I guess it could look like this:

  • Pro: she can get anywhere she wants when she wants
  • Pro: she doesn’t have to ask other people for a ride or take a shuttle service to the airport
  • Pro: she feels more independent
  • Pro: we don’t worry as much about her driving as we would if she were riding with someone else.
  • Pro: she’s happy
  • Pro: she can drive to visit friends or family in other cities (or at other universities) when she wants
  • Con: finding parking for some people, but it hasn’t been an issue for her at all

Honestly, for us, the pros definitely outweigh the cons. I can’t think of another con.

The moral of the story? If you are considering sending your child to college with a car, and the college/university is OK with it, you do what is best for your family. ***If your student’s university discourages it or doesn’t allow freshmen to bring cars, obviously, they shouldn’t take a car.***We all think differently. You might not want to have to worry about the car. You might not want to have to worry about the kid with the car. You might not want to buy the parking pass. Maybe you can’t afford a car to send with your child. Whatever…everyone has their own reasons for doing what they do. That’s one of the great things about parenting: we all make our own decisions based on our own experiences and our own beliefs.

If your student takes a car, I do recommend that he/she has the Life360 app on his/her phone. Browse their plans to see which one works best for your family. My daughter was in an accident last year, and Life360 dispatched police and called her to see if Medic was needed. Life360 also offers roadside assistance with upgraded memberships. Also, I like having extra “roadside assistance” options. I recommend a AAA membership for peace of mind when roadside assistance is needed. AAA follows the member, so even if she is in someone else’s car and needs roadside assistance, they will help. See the AAA website here.

Bottom line: I took a car to college, so I see nothing wrong with my child having hers. We believed she would be happier with a car to drive. Therefore, we sent the car with her. End of story.

****Amended to add that we have set rules for the car:

  • NO ONE else drives it, unless it’s an emergency situation (like my daughter is incapacitated)
  • Try to park under/near a light
  • Call me if any dashboard lights come on
  • Never let the gas tank get below 1/2 tank
  • Know where the wheelocks are
by Kelly Mattei

Whoa Dough Edible Cookie Dough

Whoa Dough Edible Cookie Dough.

Our daughter is finishing up her freshman year in college. Throughout the year, I have been on the lookout for grab-n-go snacks for her that have some nutritional value and taste good. It’s not easy to find things I think she will like, because she has always been a picky-ish eater. I’m not really sure where she got that gene, because I will eat almost anything…except organ meat. That’s where I draw the line. Fortunately, our daughter seems to be coming out of her “picky” ways, but I still like to get grab-n-go snacks for her that are “sure things.”

While our daughter has been in college, my husband and I have taken several trips. His favorite destination is the Bahamas, because it’s easy to get there, and we have some favorite resorts and know some absolutely beautiful beaches there. We always fly American Airlines, because they have a hub in Charlotte, making them the easiest airline for us to fly.

On our most recent trip home from the Bahamas, American Airlines offered us a snack we had not seen before. Called Whoa Dough Edible Cookie Dough, it had colorful packaging, and the concept of packaged “edible” cookie dough looked interesting to me. For those who don’t know, kids love to eat cookie dough, but because it normally has uncooked egg, it’s an invitation to salmonella. Therefore, kids are always looking for ways to make cookie dough without egg. This product appeared to be an answer to that! I took one, thinking it might be something our daughter would like. The flavor I got was Sugar Cookie, and at my suggestion, my husband picked the Chocolate Chip Cookie flavor.

The packaging looks like the packaging for breakfast bars or cereal bars. I opened the blue package. I broke off one corner and tried it, and like Mikey from the Life Cereal commercials of the 70s, I liked it! I asked my husband to try his, and he liked it too! After reading the label, I realized there was actually some nutritional value in Whoa Dough, and it’s vegan, plant-based, soy free, egg free, gluten free, non-gmo, Kosher, and dairy free! At under 200 calories, each bar contains 3 grams of fiber, 5 grams of fat, and 4 grams of protein. With 30 grams of carbs, it’s not perfect nutrition, but I knew it was likely better than what my daughter was (or wasn’t) having for breakfast.

When we got home from that trip, I ordered a variety pack to have delivered to our home, and when our daughter came home for the last few days of Spring Break, she tried them and loved them! She and a friend ate some from the variety pack and took the rest back to school. Soon thereafter, I received a text, asking, “Can you please have some Whoa Dough shipped to me at school? Chocolate Chip and Sugar Cookie, please!” And so I promptly went to Amazon and ordered some to be delivered to her. If you would like to try Whoa Dough or think your children might like it (they likely will), you can order the variety pack or one flavor from Amazon here.

If you order, let me know what you think!

As for our daughter, I knew she really liked Whoa Dough when she sent me a snapchat photo of herself on her way to an early morning workout, and I saw a Sugar Cookie Whoa Dough in her hand. Sometimes, I find things she loves, and I was happy to be successful with this one!

by Kelly Mattei

College Students/Adult Decisions

College students/adult decisions.

Oh, it’s the Facebook parent page for my daughter’s university again! A parent posted that her son stopped going to class after his computer broke. They are four weeks into the semester, and she is getting him a new computer, but he seems to have given up. The mom doesn’t know what to do to motivate him, and she wonders if maybe she should just cut the losses and bring him home.

Of course, there were lots of suggestions. Some said, “Rent a laptop from the library.” Others said, “Maybe he’s not really ready for college.” Quite a few said, “Maybe you should encourage him to get back in the game. It’s early.” And then, someone said, “When do we let them start making their own adult decisions on their own?” That one made me think.

When do we let them start making their own adult decisions on their own?

That’s a tough question. Should we allow our college students to make their own adult decisions with no input from us, their parents?

The first thing that came to mind for me was, “I’m paying for it. I’m paying a lot of money for our daughter’s college education, so yes, I have input.“ I can have an opinion, and I can tell her what I expect from her. I make no bones about it. Our daughter is very social, so even before she went to college, I stressed to her that while her social life is very important, she has to take care of business first so she can stay in school to enjoy the social aspects. Does that mean she remembers that conversation? Not necessarily, but I ask regularly, “Are you taking care of business?”

Another thing that came to mind about “allowing her to make her own adult decisions on her own” is that I don’t always make adult decisions on my own…and I’m 55 years old! When I was in college, I regularly got my parents’ input about big decisions. Heck…until my parents were dead, I regularly got their input about adult decisions! And now that I don’t have my parents, I often turn to my spouse, other family members, or friends. I get lots of info and do my research before making big decisions. And you know what? I don’t want my college-age daughter getting all her advice or input from other college-aged people. I have always told her it’s good to get input from friends, but she needs to remember their brains aren’t fully developed either. They don’t have any more life experience than she does! I have stressed that she should come to me for advice, because I have a lot more life experience, and I always have her best interest at heart.

Think about it. What are college students like? There are some who do their schoolwork and work toward an educational goal with no distractions or interference. That’s not my child, and honestly, I don’t want her to be that student. There are college students who quickly find a good balance; they enjoy some social time while working hard in school. There are those who play a lot, and the academic part is secondary. And then there are all kinds of students in between.

My daughter falls somewhere in the balance/having fun category. The first semester of college is quite an adjustment! And since she is at an SEC school, football season is a big deal, and she pledged a sorority, which does take some time. I want her to have fun. That’s why I encouraged her to take the easiest classes she could this first semester, so she can learn to manage her time and become accustomed to college. It can take a while for them to learn how it all works! I remember! By my sophomore year, I knew how college worked, and I had a system for “taking care of business” while still having a good time. I think some kids jump in with the hardest classes they can take freshman year, and for some of them, it causes problems/stress. They need some guidance. Mine’s not taking the hardest classes, and she might not even need my guidance, but I “check in” regularly, and I always remind her that I am always ready to help.

She’s almost 19 years old. That means she has less than one year of adulthood experience. Would you hire a lawyer who had one year of experience and no mentors? No. Would you want a surgeon who had one year of experience and no assistance? No. I’m not expecting my almost-19-yr-old to make all her own decisions. In fact, she’s going to get my input whether she wants it or not right now.

So when will I allow her to make adult decisions on her own? She makes some of them on her own every single day. But the big decisions? Personally, I don’t think she really wants to. As long as my husband and I are on this planet, she can come to us. And if it’s something I know nothing about, I will encourage her to go to someone with more knowledge…no doubt. Will I make all her decisions for her? No way. But if I think she is making a bad decision or needs my help, I will let her know it…even from 450 miles away.

I’ve said it a million times…no matter how old they are, they’re still our “babies.”

by Kelly Mattei

Real Life Can Be Stressful

Real life can be stressful. The transition from high school to college can be tricky.

I haven’t posted anything since May 9. Why? Because my brain has been scrambled…that’s why.

If you have never had a child graduate from high school, but you have kids who eventually will graduate, hold onto your hat. What I thought should not be stressful or a big deal of any kind has turned my world upside down.

OK, maybe that’s being extreme. But during the weeks leading up to our daughter’s high school graduation on May 21, there were so many events and activities. I don’t consider myself low energy, but man! They wore me out! Parent meetings, Baccalaureate, Senior Supper, sports awards…and so much more! And those are just the things parents attended…the seniors did all that and more! I know the school was trying to cram lots of “memories” into a few weeks, but I’m not kidding when I say it was overwhelming. Back in 1985, when I graduated from a public high school, we had graduation rehearsal and graduation. I don’t remember any extra things we had to do, and I was cool with that, because honestly…graduating from high school is something we are supposed to do.

Soon after our daughter’s graduation at the end of May, she and I flew down to attend her college orientation. The event itself wasn’t stressful, but it was a lot of information at one time. Y’all know I didn’t even know want to go. I don’t think parents should have to go to orientation. In this case, nothing ever said it was mandatory, but as I talked to other parents leading up to it, I was afraid my daughter would look like an orphan if I didn’t go with her. So I went. But again, I don’t think there should even be sessions for parents. Back in the 1980s, my parents didn’t go. I drove myself there without GPS or a cellphone, and everything was just fine. I think they started doing parent sessions to give the parents something to do. You know, in 2022, we can’t just let our kids do things on their own. {Insert eye roll here.} So that one day I spent in the parent session is one day of my life I will never get back. Nope, I didn’t attend the second day. The second day, I just dropped her off with her roommate for the sessions, and I went back to the hotel for a leisurely cup of coffee…just as it should be.

But things went awry in our household after that. It actually started at orientation. Without getting into too much detail, I will say it has been a tough couple of weeks emotionally. Graduation actually hits these kids harder than we realize. Internally, they know they are feeling something stressful, but they don’t know why! Here’s why: they are leaving their family and friends to go to college soon. Everything they have ever known is about to change, and I don’t care how “ready” your kid is, it’s a scary time for them. I honestly believe it’s why we see so many friendships change in the summer after graduation. We see romances end. And seriously…I have seen my daughter trying to disconnect from me. It’s OK. I knew it would happen. I know she will need to disconnect emotionally for the college transition. It doesn’t necessarily make it easier, but I know it’s part of the process. She is moving 450 miles away to experience a new life. She won’t be coming back to Charlotte on the regular. It doesn’t make it any less sad, though. But that’s what stress does…we react to it in weird ways…and our daughter has certainly reacted. Wow.

We were fortunate to be able to slip away last week for some mother/daughter time at our favorite hotel in California. No, we didn’t just stay in the hotel the whole time, but frankly, I would have been OK with that. It’s a place of great comfort for me. It’s a place we feel at home. It’s a place we see friends. There is a reason it’s our favorite. We were able to relax, shop, eat great food, and relax some more in a beautiful environment. Did it help? Yes, it did. It helped us feel better, but it also forced us to have a conversation about the pressure we are feeling. She and I had a few heart-to-heart conversations. I told her everything she is feeling is normal. It’s OK to feel stress. It’s OK to feel pressure. It’s even OK to feel the need to disconnect. But it’s also important to try to handle things respectfully and compassionately. She is a sweet girl who is simply experiencing something new. And I’m a mom experiencing something new. As we barrel toward becoming empty-nesters, I’m feeling weird emotions too. I’ll likely sleep with one of her dirty sweatshirts after she leaves, just so I can have her scent nearby.

So, she moves into her dorm in six weeks. Of those six weeks, we will be on vacation again for two of them. I will have gallbladder surgery in July (ugh), so that will be two weeks of nothing. And then, we will move her in. Of course, I won’t be able to carry anything heavy for six weeks after the surgery, so it will be up to my husband to do all the heavy lifting. I’m not sure he knows that yet. We will move her in, and when we drive away, I feel sure I will shed a tear or a thousand. They will be sad tears for me, but they will be happy tears for her, because I know college is going to be a great experience.

And once she gets all moved in and starts classes, there will be more stress. College life is an adjustment, but she will figure it all out.

College is a good way to learn to deal with the stress of life, because real life can be stressful.