Author / Kelly Mattei

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Posts by Kelly Mattei

I grew up in Alabama but have lived in Charlotte, NC, for more than 25 years...longer than I've ever lived any other one place. Growing up, we moved a few times, so when people ask where I’m from, I just say Alabama, even though I have lived in three other states. I have been married for 25 years, and we have one daughter, who has one year of college left. We love being parents, but we also love empty-nesting. We enjoy traveling, star-gazing, walking, and sunshine. I worked in the travel business for 11 years, and I’m always looking for the next place to visit, but interestingly, I don’t like going where everyone else is going. If everyone else is going to Italy or Greece, no thanks. I’d rather go to Latin America or somewhere in the US I haven’t seen before. I’ve never liked doing what everyone else is doing! I have visited 40 states and would love to visit all 50. I also consider myself a “connector.” I like helping people know other people. No, not for money…for fun.
by Kelly Mattei

Christmas Gifts for Future College Students

Christmas gifts for future college students. ***I might receive commission on items purchased through my Amazon links.***

Have a son or daughter preparing to go to college in January or next fall? Christmas is the perfect opportunity to start stocking up on all the dorm or apartment necessities. Here are some items at different price points that will make great gifts:

  • Sleepyhead Mattress Topper. This is a great Early Black Friday Deal on Amazon! Sleepyhead makes what we call the “Mack Daddy” of mattress toppers! Normally priced at $379, the Sleepyhead Twin XL 3-inch Premium Gel Topper, right now, is just under $285. That’s a 25% savings! My daughter used this mattress topper her freshman and sophomore years, and she loved it. If you’ve ever slept on a dorm mattress, you know a mattress topper is a necessity for all college students. Sleepyhead makes a variety of sizes, from Twin to King. To purchase the 3-inch Twin XL Gel version, click here. But Sleepyhead has is offering 25% off all their mattress toppers on Amazon for Early Black Friday! Maybe you’d like one or two for home to extend the life of your home mattresses?! To shop other sizes Sleepyhead offers, click here.

  • Hollywood Vanity Mirror with Lights. My daughter has this vanity mirror. She is a junior, and this was something she knew she wanted in her apartment this year, and she loves it. It was super easy to set up, and it’s something she uses every day. In fact, she will get another one for Christmas…to use at home. With an Early Black Friday Deal on Amazon, it’s 15% off and priced at $84.99. This one is a no-brainer. Get it before it’s gone here.

  • Keurig K-Express Single Serve K-Cup Coffee Maker. If your child doesn’t drink coffee now, he/she likely will when they get to college! Or maybe they enjoy hot tea or hot chocolate? This Keurig Single Cup Coffee Maker is perfect for a small dorm room or even an apartment bedroom. Amazon is offering it at 33% off for an Early Black Friday Deal! Get it here!

  • Clothes Steamer. I hate wrinkled clothes. I hate wearing them, and I hate seeing them. I love ironing. Seriously, I love it. However, my daughter would never drag out and put away an ironing board. Therefore, we sent her to school with a standup steamer her freshman year. She and her roommate used it, but she did tell me later that it took up valuable space in a dorm room, but it never disappeared! If other girls wanted to use it, they had to come to her room, so the steamer couldn’t “walk away.” To see my favorite standup steamer, click here. If you prefer to get a handheld steamer, click here to see Amazon’s Choice. It’s almost HALF OFF! (Make sure your student’s name is on it, because people will “borrow” the handheld version.)

  • Bluetooth Speaker. They need it. College students need their music, and they need to be able to hear it well. My daughter has two different JBL bluetooth speakers, and my husband has one too! They come at different price points, so stick with me from highest to lowest. For big sound, I recommend the JBL Boombox. At Amazon, you can purchase the latest Boombox 3 for $499.95 here, or go for the Boombox 2 for $299.95 (a Black Friday savings of $25%) here. Both offer 24 hours of playtime on a charge, and both are waterproof! The Boomboxes are portable, but a little bulky. For something smaller, go for the JBL Extreme. The latest version, the Extreme 3, is available for Early Black Friday Savings at 24% off here. However, for big price savings without sacrificing quality, you can get the Extreme 2 on an Early Black Friday Deal for as low as $144.99 here. Both offer 15 hours of playtime on a charge!

  • Hulken Bag. When I tell people about Hulken Bags, they look a little confused at first, but when I show them a Hulken Bag, they get it. These bags carry a lot. They are lightweight, and they roll very easily. I keep one in my car, for those times I need to take a lot of returns somewhere. My daughter uses hers when she had a lot of items she needs to take in from the car or to the car. I recommend the medium Hulken Bag, and right now, you can get a great Early Black Friday Deal! These rarely go on sale, but there’s a 20% off coupon on Amazon right now that will save you $22 off the $114 price! That’s a deal! Take advantage of it now here.

  • Cordless Handheld Vacuum. This one is self-explanatory, I think. College students use these to clean up crumbs or small messes, and they use it to suck the dust/dirt out of their laptop keyboards. Come to think of it, I need to use one on my keyboard right now! Amazon’s Choice is the Black and Decker Dustbuster QuickClean you can purchase here.

  • Amazon Fire TV. I purchased this very 32″ TV for our daughter’s bedroom in her apartment, and then I purchased one for outdoor use at our house. Our daughter doesn’t care anything about regular programming. She simply wants to be able to access her streaming apps on a TV screen, and this Amazon Fire TV does the trick! Priced at just $99 right now (normally $139), it’s a deal you can’t beat! Get it here.

  • Air Purifier. Dorm living means lots of people sharing space. An air purifier can work to absorb some of those germs and clean up any dust particles in the air. Lots of people say it is absolutely essential for dorm living. Get Amazon’s Choice here.

  • Lapdesk. These have been around for a long time! I remember using one at home in high school…and maybe before! They’re not terribly expensive, but now you can get 20% off this one on a special Amazon Early Black Friday deal! Get it here.

Happy Shopping for the future college student on your list!

by Kelly Mattei

2024 Stocking Stuffers

2024 Stocking Stuffers

I know lots of people struggle with what to do for stocking stuffers for their families at Christmas. Personally, I love shopping for stocking stuffers, because they can be anything…serious, silly, electronic, nostalgic, or even essential. When I was growing up, as the holidays approached, if there was something we needed or wanted, my mother would always say, “Put it on your Christmas list!” Toothpaste? Razors? Underwear? Yep…on the list. I’m not above adding some of those essentials to a Christmas stocking, but I love to try to get a little more creative. Let’s go…

  • Mini UFO Hand Drone for Indoors. This is definitely silly, but it’s a lot of fun too…for all ages. I got one for each of us a couple of years ago, and we actually had a lot of fun with them! There’s virtually no learning curve, and they are rechargeable! We are all adults, so I can only imagine how much fun they would be with kids in the house. Get it at Amazon here.

  • JBL Vibe Buds. I have had it with spending lots of $$$ on wireless ear buds and promptly losing them, so the last time I needed some (in September), I purchased the inexpensive JBL Vibe Buds, and I like them better than any of the more expensive ones I’ve tried. They are far more comfortable in my ears, and I think they provide superior sound. As of writing, two colors (black and white) are on sale for about $30. Get ’em while they last here.


  • Merit M Flush Balm Cream Blush/Rouge. I know, the word “rouge” makes you think of your grandmother, but stick with me. I read somewhere recently that, even though we have been using pink/peach/coral blush for years, it’s not a natural cheek color. Apparently red is what we should be using, so I tried it in the form of this Merit product, and will never look back. Yes, it is a little pricy, but one little pot will last a long time, since it only takes a tiny smear to get full blush. I love it. I’m dropping some in our daughter’s Christmas stocking, because I think she will like it too. It also works if you need a little lip color too. Get it at Amazon here.

  • Rainbow Loom Original. Since we are talking stocking stuffers, I’m going with the Rainbow Loom Original. It should fit in (and fill up) a Christmas stocking. Priced at $7.99, it’s good for hours of creativity for all ages. My daughter loved rainbow loom when she was 7 or 8, and she still loves it at 21. Get it here. For a Rainbow Loom with lots of extra rubberbands, I recommend the Rainbow Loom Mega Combo Set for $19.99, but it won’t fit in a stocking. Get it here.
  • Peter Thomas Roth Temporary Face Tightener. It’s temporary, but it really does make wrinkles look smoother. I have friends who swear by it. In fact, there will be some in my stocking this year! I have the eye cream that temporarily smooths lines around the eyes and across the bridge of the nose. Get the face tightener here. And get the eye tightener here. If someone on your list (male or female!) would appreciate it, it makes a great stocking stuffer or just outright great gift! I have a guy friend who uses it daily!

  • Oura Ring. If someone on your list has been wanting or would appreciate this wearable technology, Christmas is a great time to make the purchase! The Oura Ring makes a great gift! It tracks sleep, activity, stress, heart rate, and more with the Oura app. People I know who have it swear by it. Right now, it’s priced at 22% off at Amazon. At $349, it’s $100 less expensive than normal, but it’s going fast! Purchase here.
  • Osea Ocean Eyes Age Defying Serum. My daughter and I will both find this in our Christmas stockings this year. It is supposed to awaken tired eyes while brightening and revitalizing. Thank you! May I have another?!? Get it here.

  • Lume Whole Body Deodorant. Seems weird, I know, to include deodorant in stocking stuffers, but this stuff is all the rage. Developed by on OBGYN, it’s safe for use all over the body. When I first tried it, I didn’t like the smell, but it has been improved. The women on your list will appreciate it. Get the starter pack here.

  • Rechargeable Headlamp. If my husband walks outside at night to check anything, he’s going to put on a headlamp. Same if he goes into the crawlspace under our house. He loves a headlamp, and a rechargeable one?!?! Well, that’s just the greatest! This pack of three will be in his stocking this year. You can bet on it. Get it here.

  • Bible Verse Jar. I saw this advertise and had to get it for my daughter. In fact, I will likely get one for lots of people on my list this year. It’s a jar with Bible verses tailored to your needs. The verses are color coded for “read me when you are happy/thankful/angry/anxious/lonely/sad.” I think it’s an awesome gift, and it will fit perfectly into Christmas stockings. Get it here.

  • Polaroid Go Instant Mini Camera with film bundle. I never met a Polaroid camera aI didn’t like. They’re instant fun! This bundle is on sale for 17% off (as of writing) and priced at $99. It will make a fun gift for kids and adults alike…to document the craziness of the holidays and laugh at it immediately! Hang the polaroids on the refrigerator or a bulletin board…instant fun!

  • Silly Bandz. These fun little shaped silicone bands were all the rage in the early 2000s. Kids love them, and it would be cool to introduce them to a whole new set of kids! They are inexpensive colletibles. Get them here.

  • Beanboozled. Something fun for the whole family! In this game, each player spins to see which color jellybean to eat. Each color has two different flavors, and you don’t know which one you’ll get! It might be pear flavored, or it might be stinky socks flavored! It makes for silly fun! Get it here.

  • Custom Socks with Faces. You’ve likely seen these before, but maybe you haven’t purchased! Now is a great time to entertain the whole family with photo socks! Priced at less than $10, they’re a fun stocking stuffer! Get them here.

  • Custom Luggage Cover. I have wanted one of these since I saw them advertised. This could be the year I get one! When my husband and I were waiting at baggage claim last week, I told him I was going to get him a customized luggage cover. He thought I was kidding. There will be one in his stocking this year! It’s a silly gift…but it’s practical too! Purchase and personalize here.

  • Too Faced Lip Plumper. Would someone on your list like a premium lip plumper but you don’t like the premium price? Forget Dior. Get the Too Faced Lip Injection Power Plumping Gloss. It’s my personal favorite, and it comes in lots of different colors. Priced under $30, it’s a premium plumping gloss at a not-premium price. Get it here.

  • Mini Karaoke Machine. What a fun thing to have at your fingertips! Kids and teens will love it, and chances are, Mom and Dad will want to use it too! Get it at Amazon here.

Happy Shopping for Stocking Stuffers!

***I might receive commission for items purchased through my Amazon links.***

by Kelly Mattei

Christmas Decor from Amazon

Christmas decor from Amazon. ***As an Amazon affiliate, I might receive commission from purchases made through my links.***

It’s almost here! The holiday season is upon us! Time to get prepared! Here are a few things from Amazon to brighten up your home around the holidays! From tableware to yard decor, let’s go…

  • Retro style blow mold figurines. When I was a kid in the 1960s and 70s (do the math), blow mold figurines were all the rage. Somehow, over the years, they fell out of favor…probably for the easier to store inflatables…but I prefer blow mold figurines 100 percent. In fact, I still have my parents’ old “Noel” candles from the early 1970s. They still work, but I do worry a little about the electric components, so this year, I ordered new ones from Amazon, and while they aren’t exactly the same, they convey the same feel. See them here. At writing, they are on sale! I ordered two, one for each side of the porch steps, just like my parents used to do!
  • Vintage style blow mold Santa (43″ tall!). Back when I was a kid, these were pretty normal. I rarely see them anymore, but here is your chance to get a blow mold Santa. It’s not inexpensive ($169 at writing), but think how much the neighborhood kids will love it! Isn’t it worth it?!? Purchase it here. He’s reading his list. Who’s to say you can’t use a black Sharpie to write some names on that blow mold list?
  • Spode Christmas Tree tableware and more. If you’re a fan of the Spode Christmas Tree tableware collection, you can get some items on sale a Amazon (as of writing). The Spode Christmas Tree Ribbon Couple Plate is 10% off at writing. See it here. Or maybe you’d like the pasta serving bowl at 73% off? See it here. Cloth napkins at 42% off can be purchased here. Or maybe some holiday coffee mugs at 10% off? Purchase here. If you’re looking for ideas on tablescapes, or how to decorate your table, check out tablescapes_ on Instagram.
  • Retro Christmas Tree Skirt. I feel the need to change the tree skirt every couple of years, and this year, I’m going with a retro vibe. See a fun retro skirt here.
  • Christmas Lights. If you’re looking for Christmas lights and don’t want to fight the crowds at your local big box department store, check out the offerings on Amazon. They will deliver to you…and get free shipping with your Prime account! See all the Christmas lights here.

Thanksgiving has not arrived yet, so you still have plenty of time…over a month…to prepare for Christmas! Let’s goooooo!

by Kelly Mattei

The Ted Lasso Effect

The Ted Lasso Effect.

I’m finally watching Ted Lasso. I don’t know when or where the series started, but I’m watching it on Apple+ these days. Lots of my friends told me I should watch it over the past few years, but I am the person who usually doesn’t like to watch what everyone else is watching. You’re watching Grey’s Anatomy? I’m not. You love Yellowstone? I might love it if I watched it, but knowing everyone else loves it makes me not want to watch it. It’s the same way I pick travel destinations. Everyone’s going to Italy? Greece? I know they are lovely countries, but I don’t want to go when everyone else thinks it’s the thing to do. I’ll go to Panamá, Argentina, or Montenegro instead. I know. I’m weird.

However, a few weeks ago, my friend, Jennifer, came over for coffee, and she mentioned Ted Lasso again. I finally gave in and started watching that night.

Wow.

Even though the first episode is a little slow, I was bowled over. By the second episode, I was all in. It might be my favorite series ever. I have loved Mad Men for a long time, but if I had to choose between the very handsome hound dog, Don Draper (one of my favorite characters ever), and Ted, I think I’m leaving Mr. Draper for goofy, wordsmith-y Ted Lasso. Why? It’s going to sound corny, but I think Ted, the character, makes me want to be a better person. There’s something about his positivity that is infectious, and it makes me want to be more positive! It makes me feel joyful and makes me want to share that joy! I like to say he brings “fresh joy” into my life. Sure, there is joy in life every day, but sometimes, we get an infusion of joy from an unexpected place…that’s what I call “fresh joy.”

If you’re not familiar with Ted Lasso, the series, I will try to get you current. In the first episode, we meet the female owner of a men’s soccer team in England. She got the team in her divorce, and the team was her now ex-husband’s prized possession. Her goal for the team? Run it into the ground…just to make her ex-husband miserable. Her first order of business? Fire the current coach and hire a coach from the mid-western United States who has no knowledge of soccer…er, football, in England. The guy she hires? Ted Lasso, played brilliantly by Jason Sudeikis. He has coached a low level college American football team to a championship, but he literally knows nothing about soccer. He gives everyone nicknames. He wants good things for people, even while he is suffering through his own marital issues. And he enjoys wordplay and movie references. Most of all, he believes in his team…even while struggling with his own personal issues.

In some ways, ol’ Ted reminds me of my daddy. No, my daddy wasn’t goofy with a bad mustache, but he did enjoy wordplay. He liked literary and movie references. He liked personal stories, and he was a good storyteller with a great sense of humor and a sense of loyalty…like Ted. He wanted good things for other people…like Ted. He knew life isn’t all about the win. It’s also about doing the right thing and sharing joy with others. No, Ted’s not perfect. My daddy wasn’t perfect, either, but I’m just saying I see some similarities. Maybe that’s why I like Ted so much…even though the fans of his new team consistently seem destined to hate him.

Since I started watching it, I find myself happier! I’m literally happier. I find myself seeing the good in people and complimenting them in the airport and in Target. I find myself smiling all the time! I have found my old self again! It made me realize I had become less cheerful than before, and damn it, it’s not fun to be less cheerful. It’s a lot more fun to be cheerful. When I was out of town over the past week, I met lots of people I wouldn’t have met had I not been shaken back into spreading joy by Ted Lasso. I met a lovely couple, Henry and Alice. They were sitting outside the hotel where I stayed last weekend. He just turned 85, and they were celebrating their 60th anniversary, even though their house just burned. They are finding the positive. We talked for a while about how, often, things we think happen to us actually turn out to be something that happened for us. This lovely elderly couple was able to see the silver lining of their house fire! We shared some stories and hugged. I also met a young man in McDonald’s, when I went in to use the bathroom (and get a Big Mac Meal) after a football game. I walked past him on my way to the bathroom, and he waved. It reminded me I was in Alabama, where people are friendly, so before I left McD’s, I told him he had made my day by reminding me how friendly people are there. He smiled. Yes, he might have thought I was completely nuts, but that’s OK too. There are people who think Ted Lasso is nuts too.

I got halfway through the third season of Ted Lasso before I convinced my husband to watch an episode. I like the series so much that I was willing to start it over, so I can watch it with my husband from start to finish! We are still in the first season, but even the man who never wants to watch a series I pick agrees it’s a great show. Last night, I talked with my aunt in Florida, hopefully, I convinced her to watch it. She is very much a positive-thinker. We both have always believed that doing something nice for someone else actually makes us feel better, so when I told her about it, she sounded excited.

I’m telling you to watch it even if you’re absolutely happy, but you especially need to watch it if you’re not. It’s a game changer. The characters are well-developed, and the different story lines fit together while the show flows perfectly. Like Ted Lasso, the character, you’ll likely find yourself seeing the good in some of the characters you want to hate. My favorite characters besides Ted? Sam, Dani Rojas, Rebecca…heck, I like all of them, even Jamie.

So get off your arse and go watch Ted Lasso on Apple+.

by Kelly Mattei

Great Glossing Detangler for Hair

Great glossing detangler for hair.

It’s not often I share information about hair care products. I’m a low-maintenance hair person, so I don’t use a lot of product. In fact, a friend from New York was shocked when she arrived at my house and asked to use my hairspray. I answered, “I don’t have any. I don’t use hairspray.” The look of shock on her face! “A southern lady who doesn’t use hairspray???” That’s right. I now keep it, just in case someone needs it at my house, but I don’t use it. I have always felt like it causes breakage when I brush my hair.

But recently, a friend told me about a product I now love: Lolavie Glossing Detangler. It’s lightweight and doesn’t make my hair feel oily or mucky. It simply makes it easier to comb through after a shower, and it leaves a healthy sheen, making my hair look healthier and shinier than before. Since I started using it, I have received lots of compliments. I love it, and that’s why I’m sharing it…so you can try it too. I’m glad I have it as fall approaches, because the drier air changes the texture of my hair, and I feel sure this will help. I highly recommend it. You know I wouldn’t recommend it if I didn’t love it! You can get it from Amazon here.

Happy shopping!

***I receive commission on products purchased from Amazon through my links.***

by Kelly Mattei

Safety/Wellness Items I Have Ordered for My College Daughter

Safety/wellness items I have ordered for my college daughter.

As parents, we never stop worrying, do we? Our daughter is a junior in college. A few weeks ago, she fell ill…mono/pneumonia/bronchitis. It was scary when I could hear deep wheezing through the phone, so I jumped on a plane and went down there. She is living in an apartment with three friends, but I was surprised they didn’t have some of the basics for illness/wellness and safety. I’m sharing, so you can double-check that your college student has the necessities if he/she gets sick. Here are some items I ordered or picked up for them while I was there:

  • Thermometer. I swear my daughter had one in her medicine box when she went to school, but it wasn’t there anymore, and none of the roommates could come up with one either. This is an absolute essential. In fact, go ahead and get two of them, because you know one will go missing.There are lots of them out there, but get the one I got from Amazon here. *Also, make sure they have the meds they need if they do get sick: acetaminophen, ibuprofen, cough and cold meds, etc.
  • COVID/Flu Home Test. Y’all, I had the flu in January. I feel pretty sure I acquired it standing in line at Customs when I came home from Mexico City. When I started feeling badly, I thought, “I guess I’ll be going to a germ infested doctor’s office tomorrow to get tested for flu.” But then I checked to see if there is a test on Amazon. There is, and it was delivered to my home overnight. With one sample, it tests for COVID, Flu A, and Flu B. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS ITEM! Soon after receiving the test, I knew I had Flu A. After that, I knew I wanted to keep those tests on hand during flu season at my house. I also got one for our daughter at her college house. If she tests positive for flu A or B, she can call her doctor or an online doctor and get Tamiflu. ***Also, encourage your child to get a flu shot!*** Purchase the test here. (While you’re thinking about it, go ahead and order one or two for home…you’ll thank me this flu season if someone gets sick.)
  • Cold Mist Humidifier. As soon as my daughter was diagnosed with pneumonia, I knew she needed a humidifier. When I mentioned it, she said, “The doctor recommended it too.” I actually ordered one at a local drugstore for her to pick up, even though she was sick, just so she could have it quickly. This is one of those things we should just have anyway. Order one at Amazon here.
  • Pedialyte. A proven brand for replacing electrolytes and staying hydrated, Pedialyte makes powder packets that you mix with water. Powder mixes are easier to store than bulky bottles, and these last a long time. They’re good to have on hand for mono, pneumonia, flu, or even stomach issues. Get them from Amazon here.
  • Multivitamin. When I had mono as a teenager, the only things my old-school doctor recommended were lots of rest and a good multivitamin. These college students burn the candle at both ends. Get them a multivitamin, simply because you don’t really know what they’re eating or how much rest they are getting. Get a good one from Amazon here.
  • Ring Doorbell. While I was there, one of my daughter’s roommates mentioned that she would feel a lot safer if they had a Ring Doorbell, so you know I had to get one. I opted for the wireless one for easy installation. It’s not cheap, but it’s the lastest model and easy to install. Get it at Amazon here.
  • Window Alarms. Another safety feature? Window alarms. If your kids have a ground floor bedroom, they might feel safer with window alarms on the windows. For under $30, you get alarms for four windows. Get the ones I purchased here.
  • Portable Safe. I know, the words “portable” and “safe” don’t go together, but this one attached to a fixed item. She doesn’t have any real valuables, but she does have some small items that might walk away if someone didn’t ask to borrow them and forgot to return them. No, I don’t mean her roommates. I mean other people who visit. Sometimes, there are lots of people in their apartment. This safe attaches to the shelving in her closet and has a combination lock. Get it here.
  • She’s Birdie Personal Alarm. You’ve probably seen these before. Highly recommend. At about $30, it does offer a little peace of mind. Get it here.
  • Pepper Gel Spray. If you’re really concerned about safety, pepper gel spray can be a great thing to have. Instead of the old school liquid spray, this won’t blow back on the person spraying it. A friend told me about it over lunch yesterday when she was telling me a story about a guy walking into her daughter’s room! The guy was friends with someone else who lived there, but that’s not OK. Get the pepper gel spray here.***Just make sure they don’t try to board an airplane with it.***
  • Door Security Bar. After the Idaho murders, our daughter became more aware of real dangers. We have door security bars on all our exterior doors at home, but she wanted one for her bedroom door in her apartment. If your child lives somewhere that people might be in and out of the apartment or house at all hours, it could be a good idea to have one of these to secure the door. Get it here.

This list, obviously, is not a complete list of everything they need for health and wellness, but it’s a start! Don’t forget you can likely order groceries for them through Instacart! ***Also, remember to check/replace batteries in smoke and carbon monoxide detectors! *** Do what you can for your child!

***I am an Amazon Associate, so I am compensate for items purchased through my links.***

by Kelly Mattei

Turn Off the 24-Hour News

Turn off the 24-hour news.

My husband loves the television, and whether he is actively watching it or not, he wants the TV on in our living room and in our bedroom. He wakes up every morning, opens the curtains, turns on the TV in the bedroom, turns on the TV in the living room, takes the dogs outside, and then, he brings me coffee in bed. I appreciate everything he does for me and our family, but I have grown to abhor the television news. My husband loves it, but I hate it.

I figured out recently that listening to the news constantly causes great stress for me. I don’t need to know everything that’s going on in the world all day. I certainly don’t need to hear politics all day. Sometimes, I prefer something that isn’t based in reality. So you know what I did? I walked into the living room, picked up the remote control, and turned on The Jeffersons. My husband was taken aback and asked what I was doing. I responded, “I’m turning off the news. I can’t listen to it anymore. You can watch it upstairs in the game room or in the bedroom, but it’s not going to be on in the living room anymore. It stresses me out. I’m turning on some mindless TV that makes me laugh.” And you know what? He didn’t even argue. He simply went into another room with his laptop and turned on the news in there. Problem solved.

Personally, I think 24-hour news did some damage to our collective psyche. Remember when Walter Cronkite delivered the news? He didn’t interject his opinion. He just told us what was happening. However, when 24-hour news channels had to start filling up 24 hours of television programming, we started getting more opinions from “journalists.” And you know what they say about opinions…everybody has one. Once we started hearing everyone’s opinion on TV, it changed the game. Some people started taking those opinions as fact. I truly believe it started dividing the population. Some are brainwashed by one side of the aisle, and others are brainwashed by the other side.

Therefore, there will be no more daytime news if I’m in the room. I will change channels in the blink of an eye. Maybe I’ll watch/listen to The Jeffersons. Maybe I’ll tune into MeTV and watch Perry Mason (quality programming right there), The Andy Griffith Show, or Green Acres. Maybe I’ll turn on some Nickelodeon or HGTV. Or maybe I’ll just play some music. But I refuse to listen to politicians and pundits all day long.

Not gonna do it.

I think I will be happier. I think all of us would be happier if we would step away from the news channels for a while. Maybe we would form our own opinions based on our own moral compasses and ethics. Maybe we would all get along a lot better.

by Kelly Mattei

College Nesting?

***I posted this two years ago, in 2022, when I was preparing to send our daughter off to college 450 miles away. If you’re about to send your child off to college, you can do this!***

College nesting?

Nineteen years ago, we were eagerly awaiting the arrival of our daughter. She was due on October 11, so in August and September of that year, I was in full-on “nesting mode.” Anyone who has ever expected a baby knows what I’m talking about…that need to get every detail squared away before the baby arrives. Back then, we read all about it in What to Expect When You’re Expecting, so we weren’t surprised when we found ourselves lining drawers and washing everything in sight.

Fast forward 19 years, and I find myself doing the same thing.

Why am I “nesting” for my soon-to-be college freshman?

Why am I nesting for my soon-to-be college freshman? It had never occurred to me that this could happen, but a couple of days ago, as I packed up some IKEA bags with dorm bedding, lighting, and other items, I realized, “I’m nesting.” Unfortunately, I haven’t ever found a book called What to Expect When You’re Sending Your Child to College, so I don’t have any reference. Sure, I have called my friends who have college kids and asked them about it. They all assure me that what I’m doing is perfectly normal…that it’s a way of dealing with the transition. I just wish I could see it in writing somewhere.

Is the transition going to be easy? No. I am beyond excited for our daughter. She is going to enjoy the full college experience at my alma mater. Sure, there will be days she is stressed out or even homesick, but hopefully, I will be able to talk her through it. Or her friends will distract her. Or she will get busy and forget about homesickness. As for me, I don’t know who will talk me through it. I will miss her like crazy. Will I be able to handle it? Yes, of course. No, I’m not planning to move to be near her college. In fact, I have three big vacations planned for the month following her departure. If that doesn’t help take my mind off it, nothing will.

But that’s why this whole college nesting thing happens…for the parents. Any good parent is likely a little worried about their college-bound kid. I’m not worried about her handling the school work. She will figure that out. I know, too, that she will make new friends quickly…especially since she will be living in a dorm. It’s more of a concern about her spinning her wheels trying to get everything else done. I know she can and will do it, but my nesting instinct is making me prepare everything I can for her room. Cold/nausea/pain medications? Check. I don’t want her to have to run out to look for meds if she is feeling poorly. Cleaning supplies/vacuum cleaner? Check. I have no idea how often she and her roommate will clean the bathroom in their dorm room, but I want to make sure the tools are there. Laundry supplies/clothing prep? Check. I have packed a stand-up steamer and laundry supplies, including Static Guard, a wrinkle releaser, an on-the-go spot remover, and a small sewing kit. Basic school supplies? Check. Having a few things in advance won’t hurt. Bins and organizers for the room? Check. They likely won’t be used as planned, but they have them if they want them.

I know she and her roommate will need to go out and get more things after we, the parents, hit the road. It will give them an excuse to get out of the dorm for a little while. Do I think they will end up doubling up on some of the things I have carefully packed and organized for them? Yes, because they won’t even look at a lot of the things I have packed. They won’t even realize they already have rubberbands and paperclips. And that’s OK.

Whether they use the things I have packed or not, I will know I sent her off prepared for most things. She might go out and look for Band-Aids for the blisters on her heels even though I packed them in a medicine box for them. And again, that’s OK. I know those Band-Aids are there for them. That’s why I’m “college nesting,” just like other parents are all over the country right now. Sure, it’s for them, but mostly, it makes me feel better about her departure. By focusing on mundane tasks, I am not focusing on the fact that this child (adult?) I have nurtured and loved for almost 19 years is flying the coop.

She is leaving us and will never live in our house again on a permanent basis. I think that’s the fact I am trying to process while I’m preparing her for the next school year. We are proud parents. We are happy that she is moving into this next phase of life, and we are excited about what it means for us too. But it’s going to be a transition, for sure.

I guess I should get busy packing up some clothes for her today.

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush Resumés

Sorority Rush Resumés.

Every year, between March and July, I see lots of resumés for girls who are planning to participate in recruitment at various schools throughout the south. And every year, I have to tell almost every young lady to add some information, so I’m going to tell you now what type of information needs to be included on the resumé for recruitment. *Also, keep in mind that old-school “rush packets” are not necessary these days. Most alumnae simply want a digital resumé (not all that paperwork!), because they will be submitting them online anyway.

In asking an alumna to write a recommendation, it’s OK for Mom to make initial contact, but the girl needs to do the “official” ask herself. The girl needs to communicate with the alumna directly via phone/text/email. Also, unless the alumna says “no thank you necessary,” it’s a great idea to follow up with a thank you note. Now, onto the resumé information:

First, keep the resumé to one page if at all possible. In fact, I always say, “Just find a way to make it happen. No one wants to flip pages. They should be able to glance at your resumé and see how awesome you are almost immediately.” There are great samples and templates all over the internet. You can purchase templates on Etsy.com or use the Canva templates. It’s not difficult. See some examples at Etsy here. ***If you have already submitted your multi-page resumé, do not panic. It’s not a big deal; it’s just more ideal if it’s one page.***

So what needs to be included? All of these things:

  • Full name along with the name you prefer to be called. For example, you could put “Mary Ann Jones (Mary)”
  • Full street address, including zip code (you’d be surprised at how many don’t include the zip code). If you want, you can add your dorm information for freshman year, but it’s not necessary.
  • Contact info: email address, cell phone number, and any social media accounts
  • Photo: include a headshot photo of yourself near the top of the resumé.
  • Education: This should include the name and city of the high school (or high schools) you attended. Also, include your year of graduation. THEN put the name of the college you will be attending and what your major is, if you know it.
  • GPA and test scores. It needs to be included. If you don’t put your test scores, they assume they are way lower than they probably are.
  • Family information: Parents’ names, colleges attended, and their Greek affiliations, if applicable.
  • Honors/Awards: This is where you list any and all honors you received in high school, beginning with the most significant! They can be school awards, awards from an athletic club sport, musical awards, theatrical awards…any awards. Remember to include Honor Roll (9,10,11,12), any honor societies, any all-conference or all-state athletic awards, and even any superlatives. If your classmates named you as “Most Likely to Succeed,” put it on the resumé! Add any award that makes you stand out! If you received an award from a volunteer organization for “Outstanding Volunteer,” put it on there.
  • Scholarships: List any scholarships you received for college. If you didn’t receive any, no big deal. Just don’t include the category on your resumé.
  • Leadership: List any leadership positions you have held during high school years. Captain of the volleyball team? Add it. Sunday School leader at church? Add it. Camp counselor? Add it. Secretary of student government? Add it. Swim lesson teacher or coach? Add it.
  • Activities: This is where you list your extracurricular activities…pretty self-explanatory. List any sports, clubs, or anything you are a member of.
  • Service: This is where you include information about your volunteer work during high school years. They like to see that you care about your community. Volunteered to coach little kids in soccer? Add it. Volunteered for Meals on Wheels? Add it. Get it?
  • Work Experience: Had a job? List it. Worked at a Christmas tree lot? Add it. Babysitting? List it. Sold items online for extra cash? If you were doing it as a job, you can count it. Add it.

If you haven’t built and distributed your resumé to alumnae who can write recommendations for you, do it today! It’s officially July! Get it done today! And remember: KEEP IT TO ONE PAGE!

by Kelly Mattei

You Are Not Going to College with Your Child

You are not going to college with your child.

Why am I saying that? Well, because it seems lots of parents think they need to be involved with their child’s college experience. I’m here to tell you: you do not need to know anything, Mom. Even if you went to your child’s orientation session (or plan to attend), you don’t need to remember the information. College is your child’s job. It’s not your job. If you keep assisting your child with everything he/she needs to do/know, your child will never learn to do it on his/her own. Stick with me, and at the end of this piece, I will tell you what you can do to make your child’s transition to college more successful.

I think parents became more “helicopterish” with their college students when colleges and universities started offering orientation sessions for parents. No, just no. It makes me sick. I have said before that I went with my daughter two years ago, but I only went because it seemed everyone else was going, and I didn’t want her to feel like an orphan! I skipped out at lunch on the first day and never looked back. I simply couldn’t take it. It made me crazy that parents were asking questions kids should have been asking for themselves. If I had a second child, he/she would be going it alone, and I would feel great about it. You know why? Well, I truly believe those parent sessions are simply babysitting sessions to keep parents busy after they have traveled there. It wasn’t terrible, but I did not need to know the information they were putting out there. Where to park? I don’t care. Where to eat? I don’t care. I have already graduated from college…way back in the 1980s…and I figured it all out myself.

In 1985, my parents didn’t go to orientation with me! No way! I drove myself two hours to the university, found the dorm without a navigation system in my car, learned what I needed to know, made my schedule, and drove myself home…alone. In fact, I don’t recall seeing one parent at orientation at The University of Alabama in 1985!

And while I’m at it, allow me to also remind you that you don’t need to make your child’s academic schedule. Again, he/she needs to learn how to do it on his/her own. I see parents on the parent pages regularly talking about helping their kids make their schedules. What??? I don’t even know what classes my daughter is taking! And my parents never knew what classes I was taking!

Take a deep breath, Mom. Your child can navigate college without you. If you don’t believe that, maybe your child shouldn’t be going too far from home. Mine goes to a school 450 miles away, and it’s the greatest thing I ever did for her…letting her do college on her own. She takes care of herself and handles everything on her own, and we don’t waste our time talking about school. We talk about life and fun things, instead!

So, how can you help your child with the transition to college? I’m not a counselor or psychologist, but I am a mom, so I know a little bit. Here’s what you can do:

  • Help them prepare to outfit their dorm room. Gather what they need, and purchase what you don’t have. (Amazon Prime Days are coming up in mid-July, and there will be lots of dorm stuff on sale…a great time to get good prices! Come back to my site to get information on some special deals!)
  • Answer the phone when they call you…anytime, day or night. That first semester can be difficult, so they might need a sounding board. Be there for them. Be supportive. Be positive and encouraging.
  • Make sure they know what to do in emergency situations.
  • Provide whatever they need.
  • Most of all:

Let your little birdie fly! It might not be easy, but it’s important! They can do this! And you can too!