Category / photos

by Kelly Mattei

Mama Was There

Mama was there.

Oh, there are so many directions I could go with those three words. I could write about how I was there anytime my child needed me in the middle of the night. I could write about how I was always there when she was sick. I could write about how I attended almost every single school function and chaired many of them. But that’s not what I’m talking about today.

Today, I’m writing about how Mama was there on vacation and at events, but Mama rarely shows up in the pictures. And do you know why? If you’re a mama, you know why: Mama doesn’t show up in many pictures, because Mama is always behind the camera taking the pictures. It’s true. Chances are, you can look through the family photos of most of your friends, and you will rarely see Mama.

We just returned home from a few days in Miami. Our college-age daughter and her roommate met us there. By all accounts, we had a great time. We spent time in the sun. We swam in the pool and the Atlantic Ocean. We ate at a couple of my very favorite restaurants. We relaxed. We laughed. I took lots of pictures of my daughter and her roommate. I took lots of pictures of my husband and our daughter. I took lots of pictures of the three of them. Ask me how many pictures other people took of me with anyone else. One. Yep. One. And do you know why someone took that picture? My husband took that single out-of-focus picture of me with our daughter on the last night, because I finally asked, “Do you mind taking a photo of me and [our daughter]?”

Why was it important to me? I don’t really care if I am photographed regularly, but it was important to me to have a picture that isn’t a selfie, because even though my daughter thinks it’s weird, I do take selfies. “Mom, why do you take selfies?” Umm…because no one else takes pictures of Mom? Also, when I die, I’d like for my daughter to look at pictures and know that I was there for the fun. I’d like for her children to look at pictures and know I was there. I know my daughter will remember I was there. I have dragged her on vacations for years. But if her kids find photos later, they’ll think, “Why didn’t Grandma go on vacation with everyone else?” Well, the girl grandchildren will think that until they become mothers themselves. Then, they will realize moms are always taking the photos on vacation and rarely get offers to be in the photos.

So yes, last night, in the last few minutes of our Miami vacation, I handed my iPhone to my husband and asked, “Can you please take a picture of me with our daughter in front of the skyline?” He happily obliged, taking my iPhone and waiting patiently as she and I posed. Here is where I tell you my husband doesn’t have an iPhone (he has a Samsung), so he doesn’t really know how the camera works. At night, there is a flash setting that takes a three-second exposure to get the lighting right, but he doesn’t know that. That’s how I ended up with an out-of-focus photo. To be fair, he took five or six photos, but because he didn’t know about the three-second exposure, he would click the shutter and quickly move the camera, and the photos were a blurry mess. In fact, in all except the one, we aren’t even identifiable. It’s not his fault. I should have remembered to tell him, but I didn’t. That’s the other thing…moms should remember to tell Dad to hold the camera still for three seconds.

Next time you’re on vacation, make sure you include Mama in some of the photos.

At least I have one photo that’s only slightly out-of-focus. Heck, maybe it’s better, since I was having bad hair days the whole time I was there anyway. My grandkids will look at it one day and ask, “Why was Grandma blurry?”

by Kelly Mattei

What Other People Think of Me…

“What other people think of me is none of my business.“

I can’t take credit for that. In fact, I have no idea who the originator of that quote was, but I like it. And you know why? Because really…what other people is think of me is none of my business. Isn’t it completely and utterly liberating to know that?

I’m what lots of people would refer to as an “over-sharer” on social media. I like to post all kinds of stuff…funny stuff, pretty scenes, and yes, lots of pictures of my family having fun. Just like everybody else in the world, my life isn’t perfect. I’ve had my share of tough times in life…losing loved ones being at the top of the list. And I have had my share of embarrassing moments. I tell people all the time that I have fallen down in all 50 states; well, not quite, but I do think I have probably fallen down in 35 or so. In February of 2021, I fell down the stairs of Galatoire’s in New Orleans! My teenage daughter was mortified, of course, but lucky me…no broken bones. Just a bruised ego. However, since I’m over 50, I know when to be really embarrassed, and since I knew I’d never see most of those people ever again, I wasn’t terribly embarrassed. Fortunately, as far as I know, there were no photos of the incident and no video. It would have been pretty funny, though…even I can admit that.

If there had been photographic evidence of it, I likely would have shared it on social media. Nobody loves seeing a good fall more than I do. I think I’ve written about it before. As long as no one is hurt, a good fall is downright hilarious.

Lately, with the ringing in of the new year, I’ve been getting lots of ads from PastBook on Facebook. PastBook prints all the photos you post on Facebook in a calendar year in book form. I ordered one last year, just to see what it was like, and I really liked it! I keep that 2020 PastBook on the coffee table in my livingroom for all the world to see. I don’t know that anyone has looked at it besides me, because even though I “over-share,” I know everyone in the whole world is not interested in my posts. I started over-sharing when my mother was still alive, because she lived hundreds of miles away, and she liked seeing pictures of her granddaughter. It was an easy way to share. And then, I guess I became addicted, because I realized Facebook is a good place to store memories! And Pastbook puts them all in print form!

Looking through my PastBook from 2020, I can see that, despite the pandemic hiccup in all our lives, I managed to have some fun that year. My husband and I spent a lot of time outdoors, and I had the most beautiful garden I have ever had in the history of my gardening! Even without air travel most of that year, we managed to go to some fun places and make some new memories. Looking at the book, though, I can see clearly that by September of 2020, I needed to get on a plane…and I did. I threw up some prayers and flew to California…and then I did it again that November…unvaccinated! And then everything surged again.

But in 2021, I started throwing caution to the wind, so I think my PastBook will be better for 2021. We met friends in New Orleans, LA, and the Bahamas…just like old times! I can hardly wait to order the Pastbook and see all the memories in print.

And y’all can make fun of me for over-sharing all you want. When our daughter was a little girl, I took pictures of every move we made…actually, I still do that. As much as it can be an annoyance, she appreciates it later. I’m the one my friends come to if they need pictures from the past, because I was always ready with a camera…till smartphones came along…so now I just use that. But my over-sharing is not for the rest of the world. It’s for me. And it’s for my daughter.

One day, many years from now, our daughter will be thrilled to have all the photos I have taken over the years. Just like I loved going through the pictures my nephew brought me from my mother’s house last weekend, she will likely enjoy going through all the photos I have taken and stored in books, on social media, and in Rubbermaid bins in our attic. She will be able to look through the photos and try to remember who the people are. She’ll likely have lots of stories to tell about the photos too. I made my nephew and his girlfriend sit through a lot of my stories last weekend!

I finally went through the second bin my nephew brought, and near the bottom, stuck in a Bible, was the black and white photo of my kindergarten graduation in 1973…something I thought was long gone. It’s the photo I used in the header for this post…just like the graduation caps worn by all those six-yr-olds, the photo is a little askew. My family had moved several times, and I hadn’t seen that photo in years, but there it was…at the bottom of a Rubbermaid bin. And I was thrilled to have it! In fact, I have now framed it and put it on a shelf in my livingroom, so I always know where it is. But I also shared it on Facebook. And lots of those kindergarten classmates chimed in, helping identify the kids in the picture! I remembered lots of them, but since I moved away in February of 1975, less than two years after the photo was taken, my memory was a little fuzzy on some of the faces. That’s OK, because after a little time, one classmate found a newspaper article that listed all the names and shared it in the comments of the photo. It made for some fun exchanges on Facebook…all of which will show up in my PastBook for 2022, I’m sure.

So yes, I over-share, and I’m glad I do, because I’ll have a record of so many different things in my life, and my daughter will have that record too. I might not ever write a bestselling novel or biography, but there will be proof of my life in pictures. And if my over-sharing is annoying, well, keep scrolling. Whatever you do, don’t tell me, because “what other people think of me is none of my business.”

***If you’d like to check out PastBook and possibly make your own, click here.***

by Kelly Mattei

Holiday Gifting 2021(Part 2): Give the Gift of Memories

Give the gift of memories.

Who doesn’t love nostalgia? Just last night, our daughter sat on our bed with us as we shuffled through lots of old photos. We showed her photos from our wedding. She laughed at photos from when we were dating. She really laughed at old hairstyles from the 1970s and 80s. She couldn’t believe how much she favors me in some ways and how much she favors my husband in other ways. We showed her photos of family members…grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. And she really loved looking through pictures from her own childhood. We did all this while she was wearing my old Zaxby’s Chickenflage tshirt, a silly shirt I ordered when Zaxby’s was doing a funny promotion. It made me laugh at the time, but she loves the tshirt and didn’t even realize it was “chickenflage” (lots of little chicken shapes) instead of regular camouflage till I pointed it out to her.

Nostalgia isn’t just about photos. It’s also about objects. There are objects that remind us of different events in our lives or places we have visited. Because of that, it can be fun to put together a gift of memories for someone we love. Here are some ideas:

  • T-shirts. I love tshirts and hoodies. I have a collection of tshirts that has my dresser bursting at the seams, and I have a collection of hoodies that has taken over my closet and part of the guest closet in our house. Last year, I came up with the idea of giving my husband tshirts from places we have visited together. I had to do some eBay shopping, and in some cases, I had to contact retailers in different cities or resorts, but I did it. I boxed up t-shirts from different Caribbean islands we have visited together. I added a t-shirt from an Eagles concert we attended several years ago…and a Sade concert tshirt too. I ordered tshirts from bars we’ve visited in different parts of the country. I ended up with a total of ten or twelve tshirts, and I wrapped them all together in one big box. When he opened the box, he seemed a little confused, but then he realized he was looking at memories, and he loved it! I have to admit I was pretty proud of myself for that one.
  • Objects. It’s no secret that our daughter and I have a favorite hotel we like to visit in the Los Angeles area. A few years ago, a book was published documenting the 100-year history of the area around the hotel. Featured on the cover? A beautiful photo of our favorite hotel. And inside? Lots of information about the history of the hotel and its various guests over the years. My husband knew how much I would love it, so he ordered it for me and gave it to me for Christmas. I was absolutely thrilled! But someone could give me a coffee mug, a beach towel, or a sweatshirt from the hotel we love so much, and I would be thrilled with that too! If you know someone who has a favorite hotel or resort, call the property gift shop! They might be able to make your shopping easy with a bathrobe, book, holiday ornament, or another trinket that represents the hotel/resort.
  • Painting. You don’t always have to commission a painting to bring back memories. I once stumbled upon a painting of the Fairhope Pier in a thrift store in Charlotte. I purchased it and gave it to my mother as a holiday gift. It cost me $5, but it was worth a lot more than that to her! It brought back memories of days long ago when we spent afternoons on the pier. Additionally, for many Christmases, I gave mother a “painting” of her grandchildren. I would take a photo and use an app to make it look like a painting, and then send it to canvasondemand.com to have it printed on canvas and framed. She always loved them! See canvasondemand.com here.
  • Photo book. Who doesn’t love looking at old photos or photos from a fun year or vacation? Shutterfly has been one of my very favorite websites for years. I have stored thousands of photos on the Shutterfly website since our daughter was born eighteen years ago. We have ordered our holiday cards from Shutterfly every year, and I have lots of photobooks from Shutterfly…documenting vacations, birthdays, years, special events, and more. We have given them as gifts to friends and family, and every time, those gifts are well-received. See Shutterfly.com’s photobook options here.
  • Stoney Clover Locations Patches. I have a duffle bag I purchased at one of my very favorite resorts a few years ago. At the time, I thought my daughter would look at me like I was crazy after I purchased it, but she loved it! I haven’t let her claim it as her own, but this year, I’m giving her one like it for Christmas. Through Stoney Clover Lane, I have ordered a duffle bag, and I’m going to adorn it with destination patches from the website too. I will start with places she has visited, and I can add more later when she visits different places. I think it will be a big hit! The patches can also be used on jackets or makeup bags, and all of their patches are not travel related. There are patches for all kinds of interests! See Stoney Clover Lane’s offerings here.
  • Memory Keychain. I stumbled upon these at Etsy accidentally, but I love the ideas! The first one I came across is a photofilm keychain. At $18.99 plus shipping, it’s a great price point for a memory gift! It looks like a roll of film/negatives that can be extended to show multiple photos. You can see it here. Another one I found looks like a viewfinder you might purchase at an amusement park, and it might contain a photo of you at the scariest part of the rollercoaster. But this one holds whatever photo you pick! You can see it here.
  • Other photo gifts. In fact, Shutterfly.com offers lots of photo gift ideas, from blankets to coffee mugs to totebags and personalized water bottles. A few years after our daughter was born, Shutterfly moved their headquarters to the Charlotte area, and my husband joked that it was to save money on shipping things to our house. At the time, I had to be one of their best customers. I was always purchasing photos and gifts to send family in faraway places. To see their gift offerings, check out the shutterfly website here.

Who doesn’t love a good memory? And chances are, you can find a memory gift that’s not stuck on a cargo ship off the coast of California. Happy shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

Be a Good Memory

Be a good memory.

Our daughter had her junior prom last weekend. Yep, even in the pandemic, her school found a way to pull it off. It was outside on one of the athletic fields, but in the pictures, it appears to have been beautiful. Lights were strung tent-style across the field, and a live band played in an area overlooking the field. The prom-goers all wore sneakers, and from what I’ve heard, everyone was pretty happy to be together at a real event.

If you have a teenager, you know they do things a little differently than we did back in the 1980s. Now, the girls gather at one place to get dressed together. And then they gather with their dates at a photo location…sometimes a park, country club, or someone’s really beautiful yard. Parents gather to take photos, and then the prom-goers go to dinner somewhere before going to the actual prom. In truth, the actual prom seems to be the least exciting part of the evening. That’s not a slam on our school. I hear it from kids everywhere…all over the country. They say the prom is the reason for getting dressed up, but the fun part is the before and after.

Because, yes…there’s an “after.”

This year, some of our daughter’s friends and their dates came to our house after prom to hang out in the game room together. When I told my husband we would be hosting, he was not a happy man. He is a man who likes his routine, and that includes going to bed before midnight. He actually said to me, “They’ll be gone before midnight, right?” Ummm…no. I had to explain to him that, no, on prom night, all bets are off on curfew. Again, he was not happy. Clearly, he doesn’t remember his youth as well as I remember mine. I suggested he go to a hotel, and he looked at me like I had fourteen eyes.

Lucky for me, later that day, we saw one of our neighbors, a mother of four. She has three grown children (all out of college, and two of them are married) and a fourteen-yr-old. She has seen it all. And for years, teenagers were in and out of her house at all hours of the day and night. My husband was standing there when I told the neighbor about his apprehension about the party, and she had the perfect response. She said, “We used to host those parties when our kids were in high school, and now I love it when I’m at weddings and baby showers for their friends, and the friends say to me, ‘My best memories from high school were at your house.'” I turned to my husband and said, “See? We want to be a good memory for these kids!”

What could he say to that? It was at that moment that he agreed it was OK to have them over after prom. After some prodding by me, he also decided it would be a good idea for him to check into a local hotel for the night. If he had stayed home, he would have been “in my ear” the whole time, trying to get me to go check on the kids every half hour. I was not going to do that…no way, no how.

Prom night came, and our daughter went over to a friend’s house to get dressed with friends. Later, I rode to the friend’s house with another mom to take pictures of all the prom couples. After getting some pics, we all left, and they had dinner before going to prom. By the time they arrived at our house after prom at around 11pm, I had pizzas, cheesy bread sticks, and desserts waiting for them in the game room. All went well. I cooked breakfast for them in the wee hours of the morning, and I finally got to bed around 4am…but I was happy.

The next day, after everyone left, my husband returned home from the hotel, asking how the night had gone. I told him all about it, and I thanked him for letting the kids come to our house. I thanked him for letting our house “be a good memory” for these kids.

I hope that one day, when I’m attending the weddings and baby showers of these same kids, they will turn to me and say, “Some of our best memories from high school are from your house.”

by Kelly Mattei

Share Your Stories With Your Kids This Holiday Season

Share your stories with your kids this holiday season…in book form.

I was talking with a friend recently who, like me, has lost both her parents. Yes, she is a full-fledged adult like me, but she remarked that, looking back, she feels like she knew nothing about the years before she was born. She knows very little about her parents’ childhoods. She doesn’t know any stories from their teen years or college years. To her, they were just parents. She asked if mine were the same, and when I told her I knew lots of stories from both my parents’ younger years, she looked sad. I think she feels a little cheated, because her parents never shared stories with her…or worse, she never listened.

I always loved stories of my parents’ lives…stories about Daddy, as a little boy, wishing he had lots of nickels, because an ice cream on a stick cost a nickel. Or how his friends said they wanted to be cowboys when they grew up, but he knew he didn’t want to be a cowboy, because he saw his daddy’s work as a “cowboy” on the farm. Mother told stories of walking to school with her cousin, Phyllis, and stories of days spent in New Orleans at Charity Hospital in nursing school. In fact, now that I think about it, I need to write down some of their stories for my own daughter.

And that’s why I occasionally share stories about my childhood here. It becomes a permanent record. I hope to live a long life, but I hope my daughter will live on long after I do, and I want her to have some of my stories. Like my story about peeing in my shoes during my kindergarten “operetta.” Or the time, when I was eight years old, that I was sleeping over at Cathy Farris’s house and walked in my sleep to her brother’s room…and got in bed with him! That’s a story. Or stories of all my college friends and shenanigans. I still have lots to write…and I will share it all here to make into a book for her later.

There are times I tell her stories about my life and think she’s not listening…or I even tell the same story multiple times and get the eye roll. But she’s listening. She had to write a paper recently for her English class, and she told me she wrote a story from my childhood. She hears me.

I’m sure she gets tired of my stories, because I have lots of them, but that’s one reason I write this blog. Sure, I love sharing ideas about products and experiences, but I’m also sharing and saving my personal stories for my daughter. She will never say she didn’t know anything about my life before I became a mom. So I plan to write more about my childhood and college years over the next few months.

One day, I hope to print it all out and give it to her in the form of a book…Shutterfly.com offers photo books with and without lots of text. In fact, just yesterday, my daughter said she had never seen very many pictures from my childhood and college, so I’m planning to gather some photos over the next few days and make a book on Shutterfly.com for her as one of her gifts this Christmas. You can make one at Shutterfly: ://www.shutterfly.com/photo-books/

And maybe next Christmas, when she’s 18, I will give her the book of my stories. I think it would make a great gift for anyone to give their child or grandchild…telling your stories in your own words. My daughter, when she has children, will have photo books of herself to show her kids, because I have made them for her over the years. In fact, that makes me think I should write down some of her childhood stories and make a book of those too…whew! I’m going to be busy!

by Kelly Mattei

My Favorite Dogs of Instagram

My favorite dogs of instagram…

Bear with me here. I know you might be thinking dog Instagrams are silly. And I’m the first one to say, “yes, they are silly.” I haven’t always liked them, but right now, I’m all about some dogs of Instagram. Here’s why: COVID. I have always loved scrolling through Insta and seeing travel pics of my friends in different parts of the country…and different parts of the world. But with COVID, I’m seeing the same things over and over…beach, lake, mountains, beach, lake, mountains…it’s all the same things I’m posting, and frankly, it’s getting tired. The beach is OK, but I need more mental stimulation. The beach is a little like fireworks to me…after a little while…meh. I prefer seeing pictures of friends and their families in cities! I like seeing funny/fun gatherings and sporting events! I like seeing concerts! But none of that is likely to happen for a while, so Insta needs a boost. I don’t even like my own Insta right now!

And that brings us to the dogs of Instagram. It’s different! These dogs are funny and heartwarming! They make me smile. They spread joy…and can’t we all use a little joy right now?!?!

So here they are…my favorite dogs of Instagram:

mocha.dale  This one is my very favorite pooch of Insta. Mocha is an Airedale Terrier who lives in Miami. Honestly, I don’t even remember how I came across Mocha’s Insta, but I’m so glad I did! She is a beautiful 7-yr-old Airedale Terrier. She has been dealing with some health issues as of late, but she is an energetic Airedale through and through. We had an Airedale named Annie. She was truly my favorite dog of all time, and we lost her in November of 2013. But this beautiful Mocha reminds me of our Annie. She “talks” to her human, and she is just an all-around happy, beautiful dog. She swims. She does tricks for treats. And her “human” manages the posts really well. Plus, you get to see scenes of sunny Miami! Did I mention she wears hats sometimes? She’s my fave…hats off to Mocha! *Another Airedale I love on Insta is juan_theairedale.

dougthepug Doug the Pug doesn’t need me to boost his Instagram presence. This adorable little man has over four million followers! Yes! Four Million! But he works hard for his “money.” Doug the Pug has posted over 3,000 times, and he always has a gimmick. Just last week, he was wrestling with the waterhose in his yard…very amusing. He wears clothes! He eats ice cream and hamburgers! He goes boating! And he is very expressive! Everyone falls in love with Doug the Pug…including me.

butter_roux Y’all remember the 1989 movie starring Tom Hanks called Turner and Hooch? You might not even remember Tom Hanks was the star, but it’s likely you remember what Hooch, the dog, looked like. Well, Butter Roux and Creme Brûlée, the mastiffs featured in this Instagram account will remind you of Hooch, slobber and all. They live in Pittsburgh, and their “parents” take them on lots of adventures and post lots of photos. These two pups love each other, and because we don’t see a lot of this breed, it’s fun to look at their soulful eyes and frowning faces…gives new meaning to the term “resting bitch face.” But they’re sweet dogs! Need a smile? Check out Butter Roux and Creme Brûlée!

desi_loves_elmo Elmo, the Greyhound featured in this Instagram account is a funny-looking dog with great expressions. Aren’t Greyhounds just interesting dogs anyway? They’re so lean and expressive! Well, Elmo doesn’t disappoint, and his “parents” love to dress him up for the camera. Elmo posts regularly, and I think lots of his photos should be memes. Through this account, I also found some Italian Greyhounds named Mateo and Ernesto. You can see their Insta account at mateo.y.ernesto.

tunameltsmyheart This little chiweenie (chihuahua/dachshund mix) will quickly find a spot in your heart. I had never seen a dog like Tuna before; he is one of a kind. With a massive overbite and “jacked up” teeth, Tuna has an unusual look, to say the least. Some folks would likely say, “He’s so ugly, he’s cute.” Does that make sense? And did I mention he has an attitude that’s bigger than that overbite? But he’s loving to his people and will even do a video via Cameo if the price is right! Yep, you guessed it…Tuna is immensely popular on Instagram with over two million followers. I didn’t discover Tuna. He was already crazy popular before I found him. Serious….ugly cute. And I love this dog!

Here are a couple more I love but they don’t post very often, so I didn’t include them in my list above:

reallylolly OK, y’all. Lolly is the “daughter” of Hungry Girl Lisa Lillien. If you aren’t familiar with the Hungry Girl brand, you’re missing out. You can see the website for Hungry Girl here. But back to the girl of the hour…Lolly. I wish I could tell you what kind of dog she is. I’m sure I’ve heard Lisa say it before, but

frankiemoney Holy moly! Frankie Money took me by surprise! I was visiting Los Angeles with my daughter on New Year’s Day of this year, and while she and a friend were shopping at The Grove (not my favorite place in LA), I decided to sit down on a bench for a few minutes. I had been sitting there alone for about three minutes when suddenly, a woman sat down next to me. She appeared to have some sort of baby carrier attached to her torso, but instead of a baby, there was a small dog. The woman was turned in such a way that it was a little difficult for me to see the dog; his rear was toward me.  People were approaching, asking to take photos of the dog, so I knew there was something interesting about the pooch. And then, the “mom” stood up with the dog to take a photo with a passerby, and I saw what was going on. The dog was dressed in a white biker jacket, sunglasses, and gold chains holding not one, but two rhinestone-studded dollar signs. He was cute! And he was calm and friendly at the same time. And his name? Frankie Money. The mom introduced me to him. I took a photo of them, and I started following the adventures of Frankie Money on Insta…the rest is history. Frankie doesn’t post often…hasn’t posted since February…but when he does, it’s funny. I hope he’s OK?

#squishypaws If you have kids who ever watched Nicky, Ricky, Dicky, and Dawn on Nickelodeon, it’s likely you have heard of Squishy Paws, the family dog on the show. Squishy Paws is actually portrayed by a dog named Carson the Dog, but I’ve never found an Insta account for Carson the Dog. I included Squishy Paws in my list, though, because I recognized him when I did a tour of Paramount Studios with my daughter and her friend a few years ago. The kids didn’t believe me when I said it was Squishy Paws, so I asked the lady who was with him! That’s Squishy Paws in the photo of my daughter and her friend at the top of this piece!

 

by Kelly Mattei

Big Blue Marble Penpals

Big Blue Marble penpals.

Who remembers Big Blue Marble, the TV show that came on Saturday mornings back in the 1970s (and apparently, on into the 1980s, according to Wikipedia)? Those of us who watched it know the title was a reference to our home planet. In each episode, it featured stories about real-life kids…one segment about an American child and a segment about a child living in another country. The show also encouraged viewers to send letters in to start penpal relationships with kids around the world. I loved it the show, but I never mailed in a letter. But maybe I should have! Because of this pandemic, I’ve discovered that having penpals is fun!

Weeks ago, in an effort to brighten the moods of my friends who are stuck at home, I started sending out letters and some postcards I had collected on different vacations. We are planning to travel with some friends this summer (yes, still planning to go…fingers crossed), so I sent them postcards featuring the places we will visit…because I’ve visited the places before. And lucky for me, when I was there, I picked up some picture postcards, and till now, I’ve never felt the need to use them. But thank you, COVID-19, for encouraging me to dig through all my stuff to find those postcards and send them to friends who live far away.

But here was something cool that I saw on Instagram: one hotel where we have stayed before posted something saying, “Send us your name/address in a direct message, and a member of our staff will mail you a letter from the hotel!” Because I thought it was a fun idea, I submitted my teenage daughter’s name and address…knowing she would love to get some snail mail from one of her favorite places on the planet.

And I was right! When the picture postcard arrived with a sweet note written by the director of guest services, she was thrilled! Without my having to tell you, I’m sure you know what I did. First, I encouraged my daughter to write back…and she did. And instead of just mailing her letter back, I stuck a letter of my own into the envelope, thanking the director of guest services for sending her a postcard.

Since I started mailing postcards and letters, I have had the most fun opening my mail to find some of my friends in faraway places have written back! Some thanked me via facebook or email, and that was thrilling too, because they all said it brightened their days. It’s funny how a simple gesture can make a difference. Seriously, it doesn’t take long to write a quick note, especially on a postcard, and mail it.

If only Big Blue Marble were still on, kids could all get some new penpals all over the world. If I had actually participated as a kid, it would have been a great way to learn about different cultures. I suppose it’s a little old-fashioned now, but I still think it would be fun. Sure, some people use social media to meet “new friends” in other countries, but I don’t trust that. I’ve seen a few too many episodes of 90 Day Fiance, so I see how people get “catfished.” I even saw an episode of Dr. Phil on which a woman had sent thousands of dollars to her “true love” in some foreign country, and then, every time she was supposed to meet him, he missed a flight or had some other lame excuse. He was catfishing her. So no, social media is not the same as the good old Big Blue Marble days, and receiving an email isn’t as much fun as receiving a handwritten letter or postcard.

So I’ll just keep on sending letters and postcards to friends and family in faraway places. If you’d like to receive a postcard, send a private message with your name and address!

In fact, I’m walking down to the mailbox to send off a few more postcards now.

 

by Kelly Mattei

It’s Official…I’m Not Tech Savvy

It’s official. I’m not tech savvy.

I went to college at a time when it was OK to not be tech savvy. I knew how to type. I knew how to use a Mac for journalism, since that was my major. I didn’t take a programming class, because I took Spanish…I loved learning a new language. I didn’t learn how to make a spreadsheet or how to use Microsoft Word. I don’t even know if all that existed then. I knew how to do what I knew how to do, and that was fine. It was the 1980s.

Right out of college, I took a job as a flight attendant. All I needed to know how to do on the computer was sign in for trips and sign out when I was done. Easy peasy! I didn’t need to know more! I later worked in the travel industry, planning trips and meetings, but there was a certain computer system we used for that. I knew what I knew, and it worked for me. I was a pen and ink girl for a lot of things, because I found that I remembered things when I wrote them down. I still take constant notes when I’m in a meeting or on the phone, because that’s how my memory works…write it down, and I’ll remember it. My memory rarely fails me. Four hundred people attending a meeting? I have immediate recall if I write the names down before typing them into the computer. When they arrived and told me their names, I knew if they were registered or not…immediate recall. If someone couldn’t find someone’s name in registration, they would come to me, and when I heard the name, I would know if they had actually registered or not…immediate recall.

And then, technology moved a lot faster than I did. I can use a computer. I can launch a simple website using WordPress. I have always been able to do most of the things I needed to do, or I knew who to ask.  I have a dear friend who is a librarian, and she has taught me a lot. Sometimes, when I knew it would take time for her to teach me how to do things, I simply asked her to do them for me, and being the awesome friend she is, she did them. But I should do better.

One thing I learned during this pandemic is that I need to get up to speed on technology.

With the pandemic, everything has become “virtual.” That means I had to learn how to join Zoom meetings and Google Meet. Seriously, I had never done that before, but now I get it! I haven’t set one up yet, but I’m going to figure that out too. I might even try that today, just so I know how when I need it.

This year, I became a member of the board of a club at our daughter’s school that produces and presents a big awards show at the end of the year, and I signed on to chair that event. Fortunately, the people who have chaired it for the past six years were still on board, and I would treat this year as an apprenticeship, because I learned that I have a lot to learn…about the event, the process, and about technology.

I like to think I “learned on the job” this year. I can usually open an app and figure it out. I’m not completely inept. And I’ve worked with the Word app before, but this year, I was given a Word template to use for the awards show, and it threw me for a loop! It was something that was to be top secret, and only my eyes could see the finished product, so I had to figure it out. Word is a pretty simple app, right? Well, I sat down to work with the template, which I had been warned was a little tricky, but I thought, “I’ve got this!” No, I didn’t. Every time I would try to replace script within the template, it became skewed, or it wouldn’t do anything at all! I would click where I wanted to type…nothing.

After struggling with the template, I called my librarian friend to ask her what I’m doing wrong. After telling her what was happening, she said, “I think you have a different version of Word on your laptop, and maybe you need the latest one.” I couldn’t get my computer to download the latest version of Word, because well, my laptop is on my husband’s ID, and I don’t know the password. He was out of town, so I called him…he doesn’t know it either. I think it’s time for me to get my own laptop. That was the first thing I learned.

I struggled. I stressed. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I refused to admit defeat. I refused to admit to the other committee members that I didn’t have a clue. I had a few days to figure it out at that point, so I put it aside and went to bed.

At about 1:30am, I woke up and had a thought, “Maybe I can download the latest version on my phone and make it work?” I downloaded the latest version of Word to my phone, and lo and behold…within two minutes, I had everything on the template changed. I slept peacefully after that. I had found a solution to my problem, and I even felt a little…dare I say… savvy!

In reality, I know I’m not savvy. When other people send me documents to peruse or edit, it still scares me. I’m terrified I will mess it up beyond repair. I tend to think of the old Los Angeles Dodgers second baseman, Steve Sax, in the 1983 season. I remember hearing someone say about him, because he was the error king, “He has messed up second base so badly, nobody will  ever be able to play it!”  (In all fairness, I should tell you Sax eventually overcame his case of the “yips” and had a full career in Major League Baseball…and he was easy on the eyes. You can see an old picture of him on TMZ here.)  I suppose I need to take my own advice that I often give our daughter. She enjoys sports, and I always tell her that if she believes she can do something…if she can visualize herself doing something in a game…she can do it. Sometimes, confidence will pull us through. My brother goes into things knowing he can do them. He’s not cocky. He’s just confident. I need to approach technology with the same confidence.

So if I’ve learned anything during this pandemic, it’s that I have a lot to learn. I have set a goal to learn as much as I can over the summer about different useful apps…so I won’t be afraid of them anymore. I’m going to learn how to create slides and videos and fancy, complicated spreadsheets. Sure, I might have to ask my teenage daughter to tutor me along the way, but that’s OK.

I also know I owe my librarian friend dinner and a cocktail for all the whining she has listened to!

Bring on the technology!

by Kelly Mattei

A Picture Tells a Story

A picture tells a story.

At the end of every year since I got an Instagram account, I go back through all the photos I posted for that year. Recently I went back through my Instagram photos for 2019, and I truly realized that some of the pictures really tell stories.

My first post for 2019 was a photo at the Charlotte airport…not much of a story except that we were starting vacation…meeting friends from Ohio in LA. But the next picture, a photo of me and my friend from Ohio, Jenn, tells a real story.

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Sure, looking at the photo above, all you see is two friends on a chilly day with the Pacific Ocean in the background. But what I see is love. Having just survived the first anniversary of my mother’s death (she died December 30, 2017), I was still reeling. I was feeling lost. And then we arrived in Los Angeles, and Jenn and her daughter arrived. After telling her what a terrible day that first anniversary on December 30 had been (there were additional factors at play)…and crying…Jenn made me feel better. Jenn, the perpetual ray of sunshine, hugged me, listened to me, and made me feel loved. So every time I come across that one single photo that looks completely nondescript and meaningless to everyone else in the world, I remember how much better she made me feel. I can look at my face in that picture and see the pain melting away. I see the relief in my eyes and in my face. That picture reminds me that good friends are hard to find. And that picture reminds me that when we find good friends like Jenn, we need to keep them.

There are other photos from 2019 that stand out for me. In fact, any photos I post on Instagram, I share for a reason…maybe I think they’re funny or cute…maybe I want to share something cool…or maybe there’s another meaning behind the picture. Of course, when I posted the picture of me and Jenn, I had no idea how powerful the picture was for me. It was only when I was looking through pictures a few months later that I saw it again, and the meaning behind it floored me. Instagram photos certainly tell stories…maybe not to the casual observer, but to the originator of the post. Most of my photos tell stories of family, friendship, and love. And then there are some that tell different stories…like this photo of me and my daughter in front of Mars Cheese Castle in Kenosha, Wisconsin.

The story? In 2015, I took a crazy road trip with my friend, Mary Ann, and our kids. We spent a few nights in Chicago, and while we were there, I had hoped to get the kids up to Wisconsin…just so they could add another state to their list of “states visited.” There was a Six Flags amusement park we could have visited just over the line, but that would have taken too much time, so instead, I suggested Mars Cheese Castle, a giant cheese store shaped like…you guessed it…a castle. We never made it in 2015, and I regretted it. So in 2019, when I was in Chicago with my daughter and one of her friends, we made a quick trip up to Kenosha to visit Mars Cheese Castle. You can see how happy I was!

Those are just a couple of examples of how pictures tell stories, but I can look at every picture on my Instagram account and remember stories and conversations behind them. Right now, though, I keep going back to that picture of me and Jenn. I need to call her and thank her for being a good friend.

 

by Kelly Mattei

Christmas Card Photos

Have you finished your holiday shopping? How about your holiday travel plans? Have you locked in your airline reservations? What about hotels? And just when you think you have everything done, you remember you have to do holiday cards! Try finding a picture of the whole family together…good luck finding one where everyone is behaving nicely.

Yesterday, I said to my husband, “We need to get a photo for our Christmas cards.” He asked, “Can’t we just do a card with no picture this year?”

And you know the top of my head almost blew off before I calmly said, “No. Our card always has a picture on it.” He replied, “Well, maybe this year we change it up.” Nope. Nope. And nope.

So last night, I sat down and starting scrolling through the pictures on my cellphone, trying to find one that would work. I could find pictures of my daughter and me. I found pictures of my husband and my daughter. I found pictures of me and my husband. But finding a pic of all three of us? That’s tough.

I decided to get creative. Since I couldn’t find a good picture of all three of us, I decided I would create one! I found a picture of Velma, Daphne, and Shaggy from one of the Scooby Doo movies, and I superimposed our faces onto their bodies. Yes, I let my daughter be Daphne, and I became Velma, while my husband was Shaggy. I laughed till I cried thinking of my husband dressing and acting like Shaggy. And my daughter walked in while I was laughing by myself. She looked at me like I’m a weirdo…the same way she always looks at me, because she’s a teenager…and asked, “What are you doing?!” I said, “Working on our Christmas card picture.” And I showed her my creation. She was not amused.

So I tried something else and put our faces on Carly, Sam, and Freddie from iCarly. It had the show’s logo across the top, and I kept Spencer in the photo too. If you’re familiar with Nickelodeon’s iCarly, you know the characters. If you’re not familiar with the show, you can see info here. When I showed that picture to my daughter, she let me know I was taking things too far, “Mom, no. Just no.” Seriously, though, her reaction made me really want to use that one on the card.

But after that, I tried a different approach. I found a picture I liked of me and my daughter, and I added my husband’s face to it…like he is sticking his head into the picture from the side. When I showed it to the daughter, she laughed and said, “Add the dogs too!” So I did. It was a joke, but then, I kind of liked it, and the daughter liked it too. But the husband absolutely did not approve. In fact, he went back to “can’t we have a card with no picture?” I told him that indeed, he could, if he were married to someone else, but I love photo cards! And he said, “Let’s take a picture of the three of us this weekend though, and we can do that.” He has no idea how hard it is to get all three of us together…showered….dressed….and photo ready…at the same time.

So at some point this weekend, we will try to get a picture of the three of us. It won’t be professional, but maybe we will pull it off. If not, folks will be receiving a card with the picture of me, the daughter, the husband’s face Photoshopped in, and the dogs Photoshopped in too! I know…if you’re on our list, you’re hoping for the Photoshop picture!

***Once we find an acceptable picture, we will upload it to Shutterfly.com to make our cards. You can see Shutterfly card options here.***