Category / aging

by Kelly Mattei

Westmore Beauty Body Coverage Perfector Review

Two words: LOVE IT!

I tried the Westmore Beauty Body Coverage Perfector today on my shins and on my arms. Actually, on just one shin, because I wanted to see the difference. I love it! When my 21-yr-old daughter came in this afternoon, I asked her which leg looked better, and she immediately pointed to the one with the Westmore Beauty Body Coverage Perfector!

At 58, I have those little white spot on my legs…the ones where the pigment seems to have magically vanished. It makes for a much less smooth appearance. The leg with the perfector looks much better than the other.

To test it, I applied it before going outside in 98° heat to water my plants. Then I got in the pool. When I got out…the Perfector was still on the leg! Y’all, I love this stuff. The tube I have is 3.5 ounces, but I just ordered the 7-oz tube from Amazon.

Highly recommend! Order it here.

Also, here are pics of my legs…one outdoors and one indoors. You can see the difference. Is it perfect? No, but I only applied a very light coat. Might do more tomorrow. Yes, the leg on the right in each pic is the “perfected” one.

by Kelly Mattei

I Love You

I love you.

I just saw a video on social media about a new trend. Apparently, teenagers are calling their friends at night and saying something along the lines of, “I just wanted to call you and say good night and I love you.” It’s funny to see what the various reactions are.

I don’t call my friends at night and say, “Good night and I love you,” but I do tell my friends I love them at the end of a phone conversation…or even at the end of a get-together. It’s something my family did, and it’s something I have carried over into my friendships. My friend, Wendy, who passed away seven years ago (June 4 is the seventh anniversary of her passing), thought it was weird at first. When we would be hanging up the phone or leaving a gathering, I would say, “Love you!” She would laugh. She wasn’t one who was demonstrative in that way. I would say, “It’s OK. You don’t have to say it back. I know you love me.” But I changed her over the years. I wore her down. Eventually, after several years of friendship, she starting saying, “I love you too, sista.” I’m so happy I wore her down with that. She passed away when she was 46 after a 30 year battle with various cancers. God bless her. She was a fighter. I find peace in knowing she KNEW I loved her, and I knew she loved me. Now that I think about it, maybe I didn’t wear her down. Maybe her constant battles with cancer made her start saying it. Maybe she knew I needed to hear it. The “why” doesn’t really matter, though. She said it.

My parents heard me tell them I loved them almost every single day of my life, and I heard it too. By the time they passed away, they had likely heard it thousands of times. Does that give me some peace? Of course it does. I hope it gave them peace as they were dying. I hope they knew they were loved and that their memories would live on through me and my brother. I hope they knew we loved them and would tell stories about them for the rest of our lives…daily.

Recently, as I was hanging up the phone with a friend…a guy I have known for years who is a close family friend…I said, “Ok, love you, honey!” I said it without realizing it, and I heard the hesitation. I don’t even remember how he responded…some sort of mumbled something. I texted him afterward, “Did my ‘love ya honey’ freak you out? I do tell everyone that, so it’s OK to say it to you.” He responded, “Wasn’t quite sure what you said.” I said, “I said it out of habit. It’s just what I do. Lol.” And that’s the truth. I tell my daughter, my husband, my brother, my aunt, my cousins, my friends, my daughter’s friends…lots of people are on my “love ya honey” list. Do I mean it? You bet I do!

I’m turning 58 tomorrow, and the older I get, the more I realize how important it is to let people know we love them and appreciate them. I love getting older, and I love the “wisdom” that comes with it. I define wisdom as “knowing you only know a little bit about all there is to know in the world, and knowing you can always learn a lot more.” Part of my “wisdom” is knowing I need people to know they are loved.

I think it’s a good “habit.” I always want my friends and family to know the last thing I said to them is “I love you.” So if we talk on the phone or have lunch any time soon, don’t be surprised if I say “love you” before we hang up or before we part ways. It’s OK if you don’t say it back. I won’t take it personally, but I won’t stop saying it.

Love you, honey!

by Kelly Mattei

Best IT Cosmetics Deals on Amazon This Holiday

IT Cosmetics Deals on Amazon NOW!

***Sponsored ad***

Whether you need beauty products for yourself or plan to gift some, It Cosmetics has some great deals on Amazon right now that you need to take advantage of! I have been using It Cosmetics products for years! My friends can tell you I always recommend the products I have listed below, and now, you can take advantage of these deals!

  • IT Cosmetics Celebrate Glow Face and Eye Makeup Palette. I love a good palette, and this one is fantastic, because it contains everything to make your face glow…and I need that glow during the holidays! It’s on sale for $27 (reg $45), so grab this deal here.
  • Celebrate Effortless Glow Makeup 3-Piece Gift Set. This great set from IT Cosmetics features full-size lip gloss, eyeshadow, and mascara. It’s a bargain at just $30 (reg $50). I use all three of the products in this set and love them! Get the set here.
  • Celebrate Dramatic Eyes 3-piece Gift Set. This set contains three great no-tug eyeshadows. Love them! Use them all the time! Get them here!
  • Your Skin But Better CC+ Color Correcting Cream. This full coverage foundation glides on easily and covers the discolorations in my skin without looking heavy. I have been using it for years. It’s formulated with hyraluronic acid and other minerals to improve the quality of your skin, and it contains sunscreen! It’s great stuff, no doubt! Get it while it’s on sale for $32.90 instead of the regular price of $47! I have never seen it on sale before! Get it here.
  • Your Skin But Better CC+ Cream Illumination. This one adds a little illumination to skin, and I love it too! I mostly use it when I go out at night, to brighten my complexion. It’s also on sale right now for $32.90 instead of the usual $47! Get it here.
  • Your Skin But Better Nude Glow. Oh my gosh! I love this stuff! I use it on days when I’m going for the “no makeup” look. I also, occasionally, use it as a base layer underneath my other foundation, for extra moisture. Also on sale. Get it here.
  • Celebrate Youthful Hydration Anti-Aging Skincare Set. This set would make a great gift for any woman/girl on your list! Get six outstanding skincare products for just $45 (regularly $75) as a set. It comes in an easy-to-wrap box! I would love to receive this gift. Get it here.
  • Confidence in a Cream. This Anti-Aging face moisturizer is a true cream that I try to use daily…especially in winter, when the dry air can really cause skin damage. I just put a light layer underneath my makeup. Just like all the other products I have listed, I have never seen it on sale, but it is now $35.40 instead of the regular price of $59! This would make a great gift too, because it’s a universal moisturizer! Take advantage of the sale here.
  • Confidence in your Beauty Sleep. This night cream is 40% off now…unheard of! It’s great stuff, and again, this one is universal and makes a great gift…maybe pair this in a package with Confidence in a Cream…day and night! Get it here.
  • Bye Bye Under Eye Bags. I have a friend who introduced me to this product just yesterday. I tried it this morning, because I had an early appointment, and wow! It definitely “depuffed” my eyes! Get one for yourself and every woman on your list here.
  • Superhero Waterproof Mascara. I often use waterproof mascara if I’m going to be outside (especially if it’s cold), because as I age, my eyes tend to tear up in windy weather, and I don’t need mascara smudges down my face. This stuff is glorious. Get it for 40% off here.

#itcosmetics #holidaylooks #greatgifts #holidaygifts

by Kelly Mattei

IT Cosmetics Deals on Amazon

IT Cosmetics Deals on Amazon NOW! ***Sponsored ad***

***I receive commission on products purchased through my Amazon Links.***

Whether you need beauty products for yourself or plan to gift some, It Cosmetics has some great deals on Amazon right now that you need to take advantage of! I have been using It Cosmetics products for years! My friends can tell you I always recommend the products I have listed below, and now, you can take advantage of these deals!

  • IT Cosmetics Celebrate Glow Face and Eye Makeup Palette. I love a good palette, and this one is fantastic, because it contains everything to make your face glow…and I need that glow during the holidays! It’s on sale for $27 (reg $45), so grab this deal here.
  • Celebrate Effortless Glow Makeup 3-Piece Gift Set. This great set from IT Cosmetics features full-size lip gloss, eyeshadow, and mascara. It’s a bargain at just $30 (reg $50). I use all three of the products in this set and love them! Get the set here.
  • Celebrate Dramatic Eyes 3-piece Gift Set. This set contains three great no-tug eyeshadows. Love them! Use them all the time! Get them here!
  • Your Skin But Better CC+ Color Correcting Cream. This full coverage foundation glides on easily and covers the discolorations in my skin without looking heavy. I have been using it for years. It’s formulated with hyraluronic acid and other minerals to improve the quality of your skin, and it contains sunscreen! It’s great stuff, no doubt! Get it while it’s on sale for $32.90 instead of the regular price of $47! I have never seen it on sale before! Get it here.
  • Your Skin But Better CC+ Cream Illumination. This one adds a little illumination to skin, and I love it too! I mostly use it when I go out at night, to brighten my complexion. It’s also on sale right now for $32.90 instead of the usual $47! Get it here.
  • Your Skin But Better Nude Glow. Oh my gosh! I love this stuff! I use it on days when I’m going for the “no makeup” look. I also, occasionally, use it as a base layer underneath my other foundation, for extra moisture. Also on sale. Get it here.
  • Celebrate Youthful Hydration Anti-Aging Skincare Set. This set would make a great gift for any woman/girl on your list! Get six outstanding skincare products for just $45 (regularly $75) as a set. It comes in an easy-to-wrap box! I would love to receive this gift. Get it here.
  • Confidence in a Cream. This Anti-Aging face moisturizer is a true cream that I try to use daily…especially in winter, when the dry air can really cause skin damage. I just put a light layer underneath my makeup. Just like all the other products I have listed, I have never seen it on sale, but it is now $35.40 instead of the regular price of $59! This would make a great gift too, because it’s a universal moisturizer! Take advantage of the sale here.
  • Confidence in your Beauty Sleep. This night cream is 40% off now…unheard of! It’s great stuff, and again, this one is universal and makes a great gift…maybe pair this in a package with Confidence in a Cream…day and night! Get it here.
  • Bye Bye Under Eye Bags. I have a friend who introduced me to this product just yesterday. I tried it this morning, because I had an early appointment, and wow! It definitely “depuffed” my eyes! Get one for yourself and every woman on your list here.
  • Superhero Waterproof Mascara. I often use waterproof mascara if I’m going to be outside (especially if it’s cold), because as I age, my eyes tend to tear up in windy weather, and I don’t need mascara smudges down my face. This stuff is glorious. Get it for 40% off here.

#itcosmetics #holidaylooks #greatgifts #holidaygifts

by Kelly Mattei

Best Items I Purchased On Amazon This Year

Best items I purchased on Amazon this year (so far).

The year’s not over, but for those who might want to do some holiday shopping, I have listed more than 20 of my “best purchases” to share, starting in January of 2024. It’s a big mix of price points and products. You might have seen some of them before, but there are likely some you haven’t seen! These would make great gifts for family, friends, or party hosts/hostesses! Here we go…

  • Amazon Fire TV. I purchased one for my daughter’s bedroom at school and then turned around and purchased one for use on our back patio! At $99 right now, you cannot beat the deal on this Smart TV! Get it here.
  • Bible Jar. It’s a little thing that can make a big difference. I sent one to my daughter, and I sent one to myself too! Inside the jar are Bible verses that are color-coded to your needs. Feeling anxious? Angry? Happy? Sad? Lonely? It’s all there, and you can just pull out a color-coded verse. It makes a great gift. Right now it’s priced under $15. Get it at Amazon here.
  • Lolavie Glossing Detangler. I love this stuff! It makes my hair smooth and shiny, and it doesn’t take much to get the desired effect! I stumbled upon it as a free gift when I purchased something, and then I had to go buy it at Amazon! Get it here.

  • Amazon Essentials Women’s Lightweight Terry Joggers. Y’all, I feel like I’m walking around in my pajamas when I go out in these, but they aren’t pajamas. They’re just that comfortable! Pair them with a tunic sweater, and they’re great for airline travel. Priced at $19. Get them here.
  • Colorful Crystal Hoop Earrings. Sure, I have some nicer earrings, but these are colorful and match almost everything! These are great for travel, because you can wear them with so many things, day or night! They’re priced right at under $15, so if you lose one, you won’t sweat it. In fact, go ahead and buy two pairs on the front end! Get them here.
  • Seekway Water Shoes. I ordered these on a whim right before we went to the Bahamas, and after we got there, I realized how smart I was! Wow! I could walk around the beach and sandbars without worrying about stepping on sharp objects. I love them! They come in lots of colors, and the price is right! Get them here.
  • Foot Massager. This is listed as a foot massager, but it’s more of a TENS machine for the feet, and I love it. It folds up nicely in my suitcase, so I can take it anywhere I go! When I have been on my feet all day, it helps my feet and legs relax. Or if I’m struggling with Restless Leg Syndrome at night, this will sometimes help. Priced under $40, and there’s an 8% off coupon you can use with it at time of writing. Get it here.
  • Neoprene Socks. This goes back to a trip to the Bahamas. I purchased these neoprene socks to wear under my fins when I’m snorkeling, so the fins don’t rub blisters on my heels or toes. They work great, and they’re even helpful when walking on the beach too. Priced under $15 at time of writing. Get them here.
  • Personal Air Cooler. Sometimes, hotel air conditioners just don’t get the job done. A fan helps, but a personal air cooler really helps. It’s the difference in good sleep and no sleep. This one is small enough to fit into my suitcase, and from the nightstand, it blows cool air directly on my face or the back of my neck. I love it. Highly recommend, and it’s 30% off right now! Get it here.
  • Yukon Charlie’s Hammerhead Sled. Greatest sled ever made, if you’re asking me! We have enjoyed Yukon Charlie’s Hammerhead Sleds for years! It’s fast, sturdy, and somewhat steerable. At $199, it’s expensive, but the kids will love it if it snows! Get it here.
  • JBL Vibe Beam or JBL Vibe Buds. I have purchased both of these wireless ear buds, and I love both of them. I guess it’s just personal preference. I can tell you this…I will not purchase any more Apple Air Pods. I lose them too easily, and these are much less expensive and more comfortable. Get the Beam here. Get the Buds here.
  • Stitch Gun, Tagging Gun for Clothes. Y’all, how did I live without this?!?! It has saved me so many times since I purchased it! Dress too low cut? Put a stitch in it! Bra strap keeps showing? Stitch the shirt to it! And yes, i have hemmed pants with it when necessary. Sooo many uses! I love it! Highly recommend! Get it here.
  • Milani Violet Eyelash Primer. I have tried “high dollar” eyelash primers and none have worked as well as this one. This is a secret I almost kept to myself, but you can get it here! It would make a great stocking stuffer!
  • CorDx TyFast 10 Mins Flu A/B & Covid-19 test. Quick and easy! I used this last week when I needed to know if what I had was a cold, the flu, or Covid. It was a cold. I used something similar earlier this year to find out I had flu, but this one is much less expensive. Keep this in your house this winter! Get it here!
  • Window Alarm System 4-Pack. For peace of mind, I got these for my daughter and all her college roommates. It’s easy to install! Get it here.
  • Dr. Barbara Sturm Glow Cream. This is not something I purchased myself, but someone gifted it to me! It’s expensive, but I love it. I use it very sparingly, because it is so expensive. Someone on your list would likely love it! Get it here.
  • Arched Floor Mirror. My daughter needed a full-length mirror for her bedroom in her apartment, and this one does not have to be mounted to the wall. It comes with a stand! Get it here!
  • Round Nightstand Table. When I purchased this for our daughter’s apartment, I thought it was probably going to be junky, but it’s not! She loves it! It required some easy assembly. It looks great in her room! Get it here.
  • Pietro Simone Skincare Dewy Reboot. This serum, while pricy, uses peptides to provide an “intense epidermis reboot.” Love this stuff. A little goes a long way. It would be a great gift for the person who wouldn’t spend it on themselves. Get it here.
  • Rainbow Loom. Hands down, this is one of the greatest inventions ever for kids of all ages. My daughter got her first Rainbow Loom in elementary school. Now that she is a junior in college, she will still pick it up and make some silly rubberband bracelets to relax. It’s a great gift and inexpensive! Get it here.
  • Pawland Wooden Freestanding Pet Gates. My friend, Meg, told me about these when I was complaining about our dogs hanging out in our dining room. These solved the problem! I highly recommend these if you want to make certain spaces off limits to your pets. Get it here.
  • Peter Thomas Roth Instant Eye Tightener. Yes, I bought it, and yes, it works. It’s temporary, but it does work. I had some friends over this summer, and they liked it so much that they went out and bought some too! I haven’t purchased the face tightener, but they said it works too! Get the eye tightener here, and the face tightener here.
  • Hollywood Vanity Mirror. Another purchase for our daughter’s bedroom in her apartment, she uses this every day. Easy setup and operation. Get it here.
  • Credit Card Holder Wallet with RFID protection. I bought one of these for myself when I went to Mexico City earlier this year. Then, one day, my daughter’s friend saw it when we were at dinner, and she loved it! She thought it was a designer label. I ended up ordering them for my daughter and her friend! They make great gifts, and they’re inexpensive. Get the credit card holder here. And the larger credit card wallet here.
  • Thermacell Patio Mosquito Protection. It works! This small machine and its cartridges protect you from mosquitoes. I know, because it even works for me, and mosquitoes seek me out in a crowd! It’s a great gift! Get it here.
  • Deco 79 Recycled Glass Tall Vase. I needed a tall vase for my foyer, and this one did the trick! We love it! Get it here!
  • Meiz Pregnancy Pillow. No, I’m not pregnant. I’m 57, but I love this pregnancy pillow. I have used other brands, but this one is my all time favorite. I sleep so much better with this pillow. The only problem? I can’t travel with it. And yes, it’s also great for pregnant women! Get one here.
  • Lenox Blue Bay Colors Dinnerware. I changed colors in my kitchen this year. I have another “nicer” set of everyday dinnerware, but I wanted to add this to mix and match. I love them. Get them here.
  • Naturalizer Womens Amble Block Heel Loafer. Y’all, these look way more expensive than they are, and I love the tall block heel. They have a little platform, too, so the heel doesn’t feel as tall. I have worn them with pants, but now that it’s getting cooler, I will wear them with dresses and tights too! Get them here.
  • SANTINY Womens Joggers. These are stretchy but look better than joggers, if that makes sense. They almost look like dressier pants. I have them in two camouflage shades and black, and they look great with sweaters or blouses…or even a denim top or jacket. Get them here.

Happy Shopping! All these items have been great purchases (or gifts) for me! ***I might receive commission on items purchased from Amazon through my links.***

by Kelly Mattei

Imposter Adult

Imposter adult.

When my college-age daughter was home for the holidays, at some point, she asked me if I feel old. I laughed. I’m 56, which I don’t really consider “old,” but I know anyone over 30 seems old to her. I told her the truth: No, I do not feel old. Sometimes I feel just like I did at her age. Other times, I want to be in my pajamas at 6pm. But overall, I don’t even really feel like an adult. A friend recently posted on Facebook, “People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.” I get you, girl.

I feel like an imposter as an adult.

I know other people have experienced “imposter syndrome,” because there’s a name for it. I think lots of people feel like imposters at work. I never really felt like an imposter when I worked outside the home, and I don’t really feel like an imposter as a mom. I simply feel like as an imposter as an adult.

When I told my daughter this, she gave me one of those sideways looks. She probably said, “Bruh,” even though I’m her mom and not her “bruh.” (It seems to be the word of the moment. I’m still using “dude,” but I guess I need to try to switch to “bruh.”) I went on to explain to her what I meant: I still have a young attitude, for the most part. I still like to try to jump and touch things that appear unreachable. That beam across a ceiling in a parking garage? I want to try to jump and touch it. I’m just a couple inches over five feet, so it’s usually a stretch, but at 56, I still like to try! I love rollercoasters. I hate going to the grocery store. I like to do cannonballs into the pool. I like to go to college bars. I like to stay up late, even though I, generally speaking, don’t want to stay out late. I want to go to speakeasies. I like to go to concerts. I still understand why teenagers and college students enjoy the things they do. I don’t necessarily have to join in on a game of beer pong (even though I have before), but I understand why they enjoy it. Most of all, I love good energy, and I love to laugh. There’s not a lot of fun in adulting. Bills? Responsibilities? I take care of business, but I prefer not to think about those responsibilities all the time.

Do I know I’m not 21 anymore? Yes. Do I sometimes feel like I’m 21? You bet! Would I go back to being 21 again? Maybe. I wouldn’t go back any younger than that, but I would probably be willing to go back to 21. It would be a lot more fun if I could go back to 21 with the “wisdom” I have at 56. I could avoid some of the mistakes I made along the way. Or would I? Those mistakes are part of who I am. They taught me valuable lessons.

Even with all that “wisdom” and those “valuable lessons,” I still feel like a little girl playing grownup most of the time. My parents simply seemed so much more grown up than I do…in my mind, anyway. Perhaps they felt like they were imposters as adults too? I never asked, and they’re no longer with us.

Shout out to all my fellow imposters!

by Kelly Mattei

Imposter Adult

Imposter adult.

When my college-age daughter was home for the holidays, at some point, she asked me if I feel old. I laughed. I’m 56, which I don’t really consider “old,” but I know anyone over 30 seems old to her. I told her the truth: No, I do not feel old. Sometimes I feel just like I did at her age. Other times, I want to be in my pajamas at 6pm. But overall, I don’t even really feel like an adult. A friend recently posted on Facebook, “People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.” I get you, girl.

I feel like an imposter as an adult.

I know other people have experienced “imposter syndrome,” because there’s a name for it. I think lots of people feel like imposters at work. I never really felt like an imposter when I worked outside the home, and I don’t really feel like an imposter as a mom. I simply feel like as an imposter as an adult.

When I told my daughter this, she gave me one of those sideways looks. She probably said, “Bruh,” even though I’m her mom and not her “bruh.” (It seems to be the word of the moment. I’m still using “dude,” but I guess I need to try to switch to “bruh.”) I went on to explain to her what I meant: I still have a young attitude, for the most part. I still like to try to jump and touch things that appear unreachable. That beam across a ceiling in a parking garage? I want to try to jump and touch it. I’m just a couple inches over five feet, so it’s usually a stretch, but at 56, I still like to try! I love rollercoasters. I hate going to the grocery store. I like to do cannonballs into the pool. I like to go to college bars. I like to stay up late, even though I, generally speaking, don’t want to stay out late. I want to go to speakeasies. I like to go to concerts. I still understand why teenagers and college students enjoy the things they do. I don’t necessarily have to join in on a game of beer pong (even though I have before), but I understand why they enjoy it. Most of all, I love good energy, and I love to laugh. There’s not a lot of fun in adulting. Bills? Responsibilities? I take care of business, but I prefer not to think those responsibilities all the time.

Do I know I’m not 21 anymore? Yes. Do I sometimes feel like I’m 21? You bet! Would I go back to being 21 again? Maybe. I wouldn’t go back any younger than that, but I would probably be willing to go back to 21. It would be a lot more fun if I could go back to 21 with the “wisdom” I have at 56. I could avoid some of the mistakes I made along the way. Or would I? Those mistakes are part of who I am. They taught me valuable lessons.

Even with all that “wisdom” and those “valuable lessons,” I still feel like a little girl playing grownup most of the time. My parents simply seemed so much more grown up than I do…in my mind, anyway. Perhaps they felt like they were imposters as adults too? I never asked, and they’re no longer with us.

Shout out to all my fellow imposters!

by Kelly Mattei

The Only Pain I Want in My Life is…Champagne

The only pain I want in my life is champagne.

That’s not an original line from me. I saw it on a video on Instagram, but I’m taking it as my new motto. Why? Well, I’ve been suffering with sciatica for three weeks. Talk about pain! I have heard friends talk about the pain, but I had no idea exactly how painful it is! If you have never experienced it, count yourself among the lucky ones. It’s bad. Imagine a knife stabbing into your lower back, your butt cheek, and your leg…dragging all the way down your leg. Not kidding…it has brought me to tears several times, and I consider myself a person who has a pretty high pain threshold. The other bad thing about it? I don’t know if this will be a temporary situation or a permanent one!

We were just on vacation for a few days in Miami, and I was determined to enjoy my vacation, even with sciatica. I enjoyed it, but I suffered a lot too. Swimming pools are great for sciatica, and hot tubs are great for it too. I found a pretty powerful jet in the hot tub and focused it right on my back. Wow, sweet relief.

For three weeks, I have been praying that this pain will stop. I do my normal “sandwich method” prayer. I start with thanking God for something (a healthy daughter, a safe drive, etc). Next, in the middle, I ask Him to get rid of the pain. Then, on the other side of the sandwich, I thank Him again. I know it’s corny, but it’s how I like to pray. We have to be grateful, right?

I’m not kidding when I say the only pain I want is “champagne.” Honestly, I really like Prosecco too, but it didn’t fit in the motto. “The only pain I want in my life is Prosecco.” Yeah, that doesn’t work.

If you’re so inclined, send up some prayers for me….and feel free to stop by with a bottle of champagne (or Prosecco).

by Kelly Mattei

I’m Happy to Be 55

I’m happy to be 55.

I have been 55 since May, so no, I’m not celebrating a birthday. Well, maybe I am…I try to celebrate every day, to some extent. I’m having a glass of bubbly as I type…in the middle of the day, with lunch…that counts as a celebration, right?

And as I sit in a restaurant in Charlotte, awaiting the arrival of my friend, I eavesdrop and type. Yes, I will admit I’m eavesdropping. It was totally accidental at first, but then I realized I am likely hearing what I sounded like 16 or 17 years ago.

At the next table are three lovely women, all of whom clearly have young children at home. I know this, because they are talking about breastfeeding, playgroups, diapers, and toddlers. Seriously, listening to them, I’m thinking of what I would have sounded like at lunch or playgroup with my friends, Wendy, Jenn, Lauren, Neill, Suzanne, Kris, Myndi, and Jennifer back in the day. Same stuff, different moms. Time marches on.

And as I listen to them, I remember what fun times we had as moms of young children. Sure, we were exhausted most of the time. We dealt with various kids’ illnesses…stomach bugs, colds, flu, other viruses and bacterial infections, like strep throat on my daughter’s 4th birthday. But we, the moms, helped each other. We had great fun at each other’s homes, swimming pools, parties, playgrounds. We had lots of fun every time we gathered.

These days, our group of moms is older and fewer in number. Wendy passed away 4 1/2 years ago, breaking all our hearts. Lauren, Suzanne. Myndi, and Jennifer moved away but still stay in touch. The rest of us…me, Jenn, Kris, and Neill…well, we get together for dinner sans kids now! We always gather on Wendy’s birthday and the anniversary of her passing…we want to keep her memory alive. Sometimes, we plan a dinner for ourselves for no reason. And earlier this year, when Wendy’s kids were in town, we even managed to get a bunch of the kids together. But usually, it’s just the four moms gathering for dinner…and drinks! Because we can drink now without worrying that it will affect breast milk! We don’t have to worry that we will have to pick up kids somewhere, because most of them have gone off to college!

When we had little kids, we loved life. As I mentioned, we were exhausted. Oh, we were tired. But we were happy. We made great memories for our kids and ourselves, and we made some fantastic, lifelong friends. It was a great time of life.

But as I listen to the sweet moms at the table next to me, I am especially thankful that I am 55. I am thankful that my daughter and the children of my friends are adults…well, they’re adults living on our dime, but they can vote! I am thankful for all those years of fun with them at playgrounds, amusement parks, Wiggles shows, and more. I am thankful for the times my daughter thought I was the smartest, most beautiful mom on the planet.

Unfortunately, she no longer thinks I am the smartest, most beautiful mom on the planet. But she does think I’m reasonable. She knows I’m seasoned. She knows I give good advice. And she knows, most of all, that I love her dearly.

I’m 55, and our daughter is 19. It seems that I’ve always thought that, no matter what age we are, we think we are the perfect ages. So yes, I am smiling as I eavesdrop on the table next to me, but mostly I’m smiling that we have made it this far. I am thankful for every single day and every lesson we have learned along the way. I’m thankful for my “empty nester” status. I’m thankful to have a daughter who is happy in college. I’m happy I don’t have to wait for school holidays to go on vacation. Im thankful for all the knowledge I have acquired along the way. And I’m happy my daughter is coming home in a week for Thanksgiving break! And I hope we, meaning all the ladies like me who are 55, have lots more days, more fun, and more lessons ahead of us.

I’m thankful for those ladies at the next table, for making me realize how grateful I am for this stage of life.

Thank God I’m 55!

by Kelly Mattei

I’m Such a Smart Empty-Nester

I’m such a smart empty-nester!

Want me to tell you how much I know about empty nesting? Here’s how smart I am: I know absolutely nothing…nada…diddly. But the fact that I realize I know nothing about it makes me absolutely brilliant.

Remember when your kids were toddlers? You had survived the whole newborn and infancy thing, and so you felt pretty confident going into toddlerhood? And then, BAM…your kid knocked you right back into reality with a tantrum…or climbing up the stairs on the outside of the rail (it happened)…or pushed another kid down…or hurled a plate of food across the room.

Well, empty-nesting is a lot like that. Just when you move your kid into his/her new dorm or apartment, you think, “Wow! I got this! I am a pro! My kid is officially launched into adulthood, and my life is my own!”

Wrong…wrong…wrong.

What they forgot to tell you when you brought that child into the world is that your life will never be your own…never, ever again.

My husband and I were stupid enough to think we would get our daughter moved into college, and everything would be rainbows and confetti afterward. Nope. We could not have been more wrong. Soon after we dropped her off, she developed an infection where she had a heel blister, and because the doctor was afraid it would move into her Achilles’ tendon, she had to get an antibiotic injection, take oral antibiotics, and use a topical gel. Crisis averted. That was our first gut punch letting us know how stupid we are.

Soon thereafter, we went on vacation to the Bahamas thinking everything was great. We came home, and I had gallbladder surgery. I took a week to recover, and then, I went on a cruise with a friend from my college days. We had a great time. And then…the last night of the cruise, I received a call that our daughter had been in a car accident. Everything ended up being fine, but wow! Things were not going as expected.

That was just last weekend.

My husband and I had planned to leave this Tuesday to go to the Bahamas again but canceled the trip when we received a call that the resort restaurants were closed till November 1. At first, I was annoyed, but then it looked like Hurricane Fiona was going to move through the Bahamas this upcoming week, and I was glad we had canceled.

Here is the thing: we thought empty-nesting would be a walk in the park, but every plan we have made has been changed somewhere along the way. So I finally realized something: the only constant is change.

If you want to have a good empty-nesting experience, prepare to be flexible.

If you want to have a good empty-nesting experience, prepare to be flexible. That vacation you have planned? It might not happen, and if it does, you might have to come home early to help your newly launched child with a problem. Sleeping well at night? Don’t expect it to last. You’re likely to get at least one jarring late night call. Think you know where your college-age kid is all the time? Bahahahahaha…think again.

Here is how you will know you are a smart empty nester…

You will know you are a smart empty-nester when you realize and can admit to all your friends that you have no idea what you are doing and you likely won’t ever know. If we could have just admitted this freely when our kids were toddlers, we would be a lot better off. If I could have just said all along that I am learning on the job (as a parent), and I am an absolute novice, I would have looked like the smartest parent in the history of the world.

As it is, I had to learn that I don’t know a damn thing.

If you’re going to be an empty-nester soon, hold onto your hat. Enjoy the ride, because you will never know what is around the corner…just like when your kids were infants, toddlers, elementary school age, middle schoolers, and high school students. Admit it. You were and still are as clueless as I am.

The sooner you can admit it, the smarter you are.