Category / college

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Initiation Dresses

Sorority initiation dresses.

Congratulations! Your daughter has pledged a sorority. She is excited. You sent her a bid day gift, and she likely went on the pledge retreat.

Now what?

You should receive information soon about how to pay the bills. You should receive information about the chapter’s parent page on Facebook. And you likely need to get a white dress for your daughter to wear for initiation. At most schools in the south, sorority initiation occurs in late September or October. You will likely receive information about the date soon. Most sororities require a white dress, so find out if your daughter’s is one of them…and go ahead and order it! After initiation, they can hang onto the dress and possibly use it for Pref Night during recruitment next year! ***First, make sure they need a white dress, and find out if it needs to cover shoulders or not.***

Here are some great options from Amazon that won’t break the bank:

  • From Zesica at $49.99, a tiered white dress. Purchase here. (below)

  • Also from Zesica, at $45.59, a midi dress with shoulder ties. Purchase here. (below)
  • From Soly Hux, a flowy maxi dress, at $47.99. Purchase here. (below)
  • From Febriajuice, at $39.98, a maxi with spaghetti straps. Purchase here. (below)
  • From Exchic, a round neck, short-sleeve dress that covers the shoulders, priced at $27.85. Purchase here. (below)
  • For more options on white dresses at Amazon, click here.

Happy Shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

Mom, I Feel Terrible

Mom, I feel terrible.

If you followed me last year, you know that in September, I received a call from my daughter, and the first words out of her mouth were, “Mom, we’ve been in an accident.” I was in the Bahamas, and she had flown home from college for the weekend. It was not the call I wanted to receive. Fortunately, everything turned out fine.

She is now in her sophomore year and has been back at school since August 2…about four weeks. She had to go back early to prepare for sorority rush for a week before actual rush the following week. In the middle of rush week, I received a late night phone call. When I picked up the phone, she immediately sad, “Mom, I feel terrible.” I could hear that she was trying to choke back tears, so I jumped out of bed and went to the loveseat in the keeping room off our kitchen, so I could talk with her without disturbing my husband. By the sound of her voice, I knew she really felt terrible.

It broke my heart. If you’re a mom who has ever had to deal with a sick child far away, you get it. It’s absolutely heartbreaking to hear your tearful child telling you had badly she feels. I looked at the clock: 12:35am. And I started asking questions. “What’s wrong? Is it your stomach? Where does it hurt? Do you have fever?” You know…all the questions you ask when you are a mom. I seriously considered just getting in the car and going down to her university 450 miles away, but I had taken some sleep meds, so that wasn’t an option. It might have been an overreaction if I had done it, too.

She explained that she was experiencing nausea and chills. First, I needed to make sure it wasn’t appendicitis. I asked if she had pain in her lower abdomen. No, just nausea. I told her to lie on her left side and extend/flex her right hip. No pain. I told her to stand up for just a minute and jump up and down. No pain. Since I felt pretty sure it wasn’t appendicitis, I recommended she take some nausea meds. I asked, “Can you check your temperature before you do that, though?” “I don’t have a thermometer.” What?!?!?!?! I know I sent one last year, and I thought it was still in her medicine box, but I guess not. Note to self: send the girl a thermometer.

She was sick for a few hours…like really sick. I went back to my bed to grab my pillow and a blanket to take to the sofa and kept her company over the phone while she sat in the bathroom floor. Poor baby. It is so hard to know your child is sick so far away! She finally went back to bed and fell asleep at about 4:00am. I encouraged her to sleep most of the next day, even though she would miss one day of rush festivities. She was exhausted and did not argue with me. No one else living with her ever got it, so maybe it was foodborne? (When she felt better, I talked with her about making sure food is cooked properly…and how, in a restaurant, if the food isn’t really hot, don’t eat it.) We will likely never know, but I do know I need to make sure her medicine box has everything she needs! Wondering what that might be? Here are some suggestions:

  • Thermometer. Honestly, I always knew mercury thermometers were accurate, but we can’t get them anymore. I don’t always trust a digital thermometer, but to see the one I trust most, click here.
  • Band-Aids. I prefer actual Band-Aid brand. I like to have some blister Band-Aids and some flexible fabric ones. See a variety here.
  • Tylenol and Motrin. They need both. Tylenol is good for fever and headaches. Motrin is great for body aches and inflammation.
  • Flonase.This is my go-to when we have sniffles or cold symptoms. It doesn’t make me sleepy like some cold meds, but you can take it in conjunction with your preferred cough and cold meds. Order here.
  • Benadryl tablets. If your college student thinks he/she is having a mild allergic reaction, Benadryl can halt the reaction. Get tablets here.
  • Benadryl cream or spray. Insect bites? We use Benadryl cream and/or spray for wasp stings, bee stings, ant bites, even mosquito bites. Get cream here and spray here.
  • OFF insect repellent. Two people in Alabama died recently from Equine Encephalitis. Since our daughter is in college there, I sent her some OFF! Spray and told her to use it. Get it here. I will be taking some in a spritz bottle with me when I vacation in Panama in October. Get the spritz bottle here.
  • Tums and Pepto-Bismol. Get Tums here. Get Pepto here.
  • Cough and Cold Meds. Since everyone seems to have their own preferences on this, I’m not going to recommend a certain brand. Just make sure your college students has some cough and cold meds on hand.
  • Alcohol wipes. Get them here.

Basically, you want to make sure they have anything they might need. And yes, a thermometer is one of those important things…duh!

I hope you don’t ever receive one of those middle-of-the-night calls.

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Party Box

Sorority Party Box.

Last year, my daughter pledged a sorority as a freshman at a big state university. Soon thereafter, a friend of mine sent her a “party box,” which turned out to be a fun, thoughtful gift that was absolutely perfect! Wondering what’s in a “party box”? Short answer: it should contain things she could likely use at themed parties or mixers, so the new sorority pledge is prepared for almost any themed party! Or at least she will have some useful pieces! If you know someone who has recently joined or is about to join a sorority at a big state university in the south (I don’t know anything about Greek life in other parts of the country), chances are she could use a party box too. Below, see some common items that are great for party boxes. You don’t have to get them all. Pick and choose which ones you want to add to your personalized party box:

  • Colorful glasses. These can be used for lots of different themes, whether it’s a color theme, a hippie theme, a neon theme, or something else. Get a multipack here. Or a neon multipack here.
  • Colorful bandanas. Again, the multiple colors can be used for a color theme, but bandanas can be used for a hippie theme, a cowboy theme, or even a pirate theme. Get here.
  • Hippie glasses/headband sets. The theme on this is obvious, but they could be used for a lot more too…Renaissance theme, for instance. Get here.
  • Face paint crayons. College girls love the face paint. Get here.
  • Tutus. Get multicolor here. If you already know sorority color (blue for ADPi or Kappa, Green for KD, Pink for Phi Mu, etc), you can get a 2-pack in her sorority color here.
  • Superhero capes and masks. Multicolor pack of 7 here.
  • Colorful knee high socks. These can be used with lots of different themes: color, neon, Barbie, silly…basically anything. Get here.
  • Colorful leis. For an island or Hawaiian theme, or even a summer or pool party theme, these are great. They’re also great for a color theme. Get here.
  • Grass skirts. Same as above…Get here.
  • Colorful wigs. What themed party isn’t more fun with a colorful wig? Get here.
  • Cowboy hats. Great for color themes or an obvious cowboy theme. Get here. Or see a variety of options here.
  • Disco Skirts. Disco is a popular theme. Pair one of these skirts with a tank top and some of the colorful glasses…you have a costume! Get here.
  • Tie dye T-shirts. Throw in a few tie-dye t-shirts for good measure. They will definitely get used. I recommend size L or XL for almost any college girl, because they can do a lot more with oversized t-shirts. Get here.
  • Multipack of plain t-shirts. College girls can turn a plain t-shirt into whatever they want it to be. These are a great, inexpensive addition. Get them here.
  • Feather Boas. A girl can always use a boa. Get multipack here.
  • Light-up accessories. Any light up item gets extra fun and extra attention at a theme party. Purchase some light up boas and glasses here.

When I say my daughter loves her party box and uses the items from it regularly, I mean she loves it. My friend included enough items in the gift, so my daughter can share with her sorority sisters when they need things too. It is a fun, useful, thoughtful gift that will definitely be appreciated by the recipient!

If you want to surprise a sorority pledge you know with a party box, you can do it in a cardboard box, or you can put it in a plastic bin with a lid. See some bins on Amazon here.

This is guaranteed to be a welcomed gift! Seriously, she’ll love it! In fact, I’m going to send a few new items for my daughter to add to her party box now!

Happy Shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

Shopbop on Amazon

Shopbop on Amazon.

I love Shopbop. I have been shopping with Shopbop for years, and a few years ago, I was lucky enough to stumble upon a Shopbop pop-up shop in New York! “Shopbop pop-up shop”…wow, that’s a lot of bops and pops.

Until recently, though, I didn’t know I could shop Shopbop through Amazon to take advantage of my Amazon Prime benefits...free shipping and easy, peasy, Amazon returns! It’s true! Shopbop has an Amazon shop! You can see it and shop it here.

If you’re a fan of Shopbop already, you know how awesome their offerings are. If you’re not a fan of Shopbop, it’s high time you became one. They have the latest styles in apparel, beauty, and accessories from brands at lots of different price points, and they have great sales too! They even have a section of “under $200 fashion finds”! All of it…all of it…is listed on their Amazon site!

Need a dress for an upcoming event? Shopbop. Need something to wear to an athletic event? Shopbop. Want to freshen your wardrobe? Shopbop. Just want to surprise your college-age daughter with a new bracelet or handbag? Shopbop.

Check it all out here. And if you’re still looking for some dresses for sorority recruitment, check out their sales section for dresses like those shown below!

Happy Shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

When Sorority Rush is Over

When Sorority Rush is over.

When sorority rush starts, for the potential new members, it seems as though the week will never end. It’s a week of great fun for some and a week of misery for others…and some fall in between. If your daughter is participating in recruitment, here is something you should know: it will end, and it will be emotional.

No matter how it ends, it’s an emotional time…an emotional rollercoaster. They might be overjoyed. The excitement might be overwhelming! They might be sad. They might even be angry or embarrassed. But emotions definitely run high. Here’s something no one warned me about:

A couple of days after rush is over, almost everyone falls flat.

Last year, my daughter completed recruitment and pledged her favorite house as a freshman. She was thrilled. She was excited. For about two days, it was all she could talk about. And then, about 48 hours after pledging, she called me crying. No, she wasn’t disappointed with her choice. She was thrilled. She was simply feeling down in the dumps. At first, I wondered if it was homesickness, but then I realized it wasn’t that at all…she was simply having a “post-rush letdown.” That’s what I call it anyway. After being “courted” by sorority members during the recruitment process and all the excitement of Bid Day, everything else seems flat. If you’re mentally prepared for it, you know what it is, and you know what to do to fight the “blues.”

I wasn’t prepared for it last year. I’m normally really good about remembering my youth, but I had forgotten about the post-rush letdown, so when my daughter called, I was surprised for a minute…until I remembered. I listened to her tearfully tell me she was sad but didn’t know why. Then, I explained to her what was happening. I told her that what she was feeling was normal, because it is. That level of excitement and happiness she had during rush and on Bid Day simply can’t be sustained. She was bound to crash at some point. I told her to go for a walk in the sunshine. Sunshine helps. I also told her to find one of her new friends and invite her to go with her. Then, I suggested she go to her new sorority house and try to meet new friends. Maybe get some exercise with some of those new friends?

A couple of hours later, she called me sounding like her old self. In fact, she went so far as to cheerfully say, “I love it here!” I knew she had turned the corner, and it was a good thing, because I was on vacation in the Bahamas having a great time!

This year, she participated in rush as a member of a sorority. She was rushing new members all week. She was feeling the excitement again! And on Bid Day, she welcomed the girls she had worked so hard to recruit. She was absolutely thrilled! Fast forward 48 hours, and I received a call. “Mom, I don’t know why, but I’m feeling sad.” This time I knew the answer, “Oh, honey, you’re having post-rush letdown! Remember last year? Remember how 48 hours after it was over you had a little bout of sadness? It’s the same thing! The excitement is over and reality is setting in.” I suggested she get some exercise. Two hours later, she called me laughing and telling me a funny story about something that had happened. She had made it through the post-rush letdown again. I just hadn’t expected her to have the same feeling as a member, but she did, and next year, I will be ready to remind her that it’s going to happen.

Why am I telling you this? Moms, I want y’all to be prepared. And I want you to know that the post-rush letdown is a totally normal thing. That sad feeling will likely pass quickly if your daughter will get some exercise and make an effort to make some more new friends. It’s a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, but just know the sadness will go away with some good coaching from Mom! Stay positive, Mom!

You got this!

by Kelly Mattei

Send Your College Student A Surprise

Send your college student a surprise.

When I was in college in the 1980s, my mother sent me surprises on a regular basis. She went to the trouble to find some surprises, package them, and take them to the post office to mail them. It’s a lot easier to surprise our far-away kids these days. With Amazon, I can order something for our daughter and know she will have it pretty quickly. It’s one of my favorite things to do. Sometimes I send useful items, and sometimes I send silly stuff, but no matter what, she knows I’m thinking of her. And sometimes, a well-timed package can give them a little pick-me-up just when they need it! That’s what it’s all about, right?

If you’re considering sending something to your college student, here are some ideas:

  • Cravebox. Cravebox offers different kinds of snack packages. Since so many students live in dorms or fraternity/sorority houses, it’s nice for them to have non-perishable snacks readily available. They offer their standard snack bar care package for $26.99; it contains 40 popular snack items. Purchase it here. For healthier snacks from Cravebox, you can send their healthy snack package (45 count) for $36.95 here. Our daughter loves that one. Or get the variety pack for $28.95 here. There’s also a brand called Collegebox that offers a care package for $28.95. Check it out here. Your college student will be grateful, but they’ll also be able to share with friends!
  • Socks. My mother used to send me silly socks all the time, and I would always laugh when I opened them. Girls and boys like silly socks. See a huge variety at Amazon here.
  • Tshirts and sweatshirts. College students love tshirts and sweatshirts. Why dress up for class when you can be comfortable? Or maybe they just wear them when they’re lounging around? Either way, they love them. You can always give them a tshirt that’s a tribute to Animal House. They won’t get the meaning, but you will! See a “college” tshirt here. Or maybe get your daughter a “favorite daughter” sweatshirt here. You can always send them a sweatshirt representing their college/university. Amazon has a huge selection here.
  • Toiletries. Sometimes, I send our daughter toiletries from Amazon, so she doesn’t have to go out and buy them. Razors for girls here. Hair ties here or here. New charcoal toothbrushes here.
  • Spa/Makeup headbands. My daughter loves these things, and she especially loves the cute ones I sent her as a surprise! Y’all, these from I Dew Care on Amazon are awesome! There’s one that looks like a tiara, plus a white cat, a black cat, and a bear! So cute and useful! See them here.
  • Clear handbag. If your daughter attends a college or university that has spectator sports, chances are they need to have a clear handbag for the stadium. If she doesn’t have one, get an inexpensive one now for football season! Purchase a great option at Amazon here. She will thank you.
  • She’s Birdie Personal Alarm. This is a great gift for any college girl, and receiving it in a surprise package is cool. These small personal alarms attach to a keychain, so they’re easy to carry and easy to access. Keep her safe! See the She’s Birdie store on Amazon here.
  • Board Games. I know it sounds counterproductive, but it’s not. College students need an escape, and board games with friends are a great way to take a break from homework/studying. My friend, Angela, and I played Yahtzee all the time when we lived next door to each other in the sorority house. It was great relaxation for us when we needed a break. It’s also a great way to get to know other people! Invite them to play! See a variety of games on Amazon here.
  • Plastic flask. If your child is old enough to drink, maybe they take their own alcohol in a flask? I love a plastic flask I found on Amazon…plastic, because its not picked up by metal detectors. Lol. Today it’s on sale for $7.99…regularly $10.99. Get it here.

As I find more great ideas, I will post them! Happy shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

OK, Moms, It’s Sorority Rush Time

OK, moms, it’s sorority rush time!

Sorority rush (also known as recruitment) is getting underway at big schools all over the south. A couple of places have already finished, but lots are just getting started. I remember it well from last year, when our daughter participated in recruitment. Is it fun for the girls? For the most part, yes. Is it stressful for the girls? Sometimes, yes. But I discovered last year that it might be more stressful for the moms. It’s true.

First, let me say that most big, southern schools employ a method that ensures the greatest number of matches. Therefore, at most big schools in the south, the attrition rate during recruitment is relatively low, and girls dropping out on their own account for a large percentage of the attrition. For example, at one large southern school I’m familiar with, about 92% of the girls finish the process with a bid(invitation to join) from a sorority. Of the other 8%, most are people who dropped out on their own. Some had GPAs that didn’t meet the chapters’ requirements. It’s not like it was back in the 80s or even the 90s…girls aren’t just getting dropped left and right, all willy nilly, and at this particular school, no one gets dropped after Preference round, which is the last night of recruitment. If you make it to Preference, you are guaranteed a bid somewhere.

With that out of the way, let’s talk about how Mom feels during the process. Mom, you might feel stressed. You might feel numb. You might feel out-of-the-loop. You might feel helpless. And all of that is OK. You feel what you feel. It’s hard to be away from your daughter when she is going through something stressful. I was talking with a friend earlier, and we discussed what we would put in a Mom’s rush bag, if there were such a thing. Maybe you’ll want to create one from this list? You can keep it next to your favorite chair:

  • Aromatherapy Shower Steamers. Make your shower/bathroom feel like a spa with scents like lavender, rose, mint, and more! It’s relaxing. See them here.
  • Olly Sleep. If you’re having trouble sleeping, maybe some melatonin will help. I love Olly Sleep gummies. Check with your doctor before taking supplements. Purchase here.
  • Bath Pillow. A hot bath can be very relaxing, but only if you’re comfortable in your tub. A bath pillow can make a big difference. Get it from Amazon here.
  • Easy read. Throw yourself into a good book. If you want to read an easy-to-read novel about rush, there’s Rush by Lisa Patton at Amazon here.
  • Relaxing Face Mask. Forcing yourself to relax with a face mask is a great thing. I prefer ones containing lavender, but you might like others. Choose one here.
  • Favorite healthy snacks. I think every mom needs to have some healthy snacks handy, but especially when times are stressful. Drop some of your faves in your “mom rush bag.”

Last year, I had several friends whose daughters were participating in recruitment at the same time mine was. We would talk, and often, we had different stories to share. We didn’t tell each other which houses/chapters our daughters were visiting, but we did share anecdotes…like when one of our daughters almost walked out of her dorm and to a sorority houses wearing two different shoes. Another girl sat in gum between parties. We all shared some laughs, but if one mom cried, we all cried. If one mom was being particularly funny, we all laughed. Thank God we had each other to lean on.

The recruitment process is not easy. There’s so much anxiety…daily anxiety. Add in the pure exhaustion that comes from walking from house to house in summer heat. Add in the emotional exhaustion. It’s a lot. Plus, many of the girls are away from home for the first time.

But here’s one thing to remember when talking to your daughter:

Never let her see you sweat.

If your daughter calls you crying, resist the urge to jump into the pool of tears with her. It’s easy to dive right in there, but your daughter needs you to be strong for her. She needs you to be the voice of reason. Personally, at our house, if I can hold myself together, everyone else does too. So remember that if your daughter calls you crying one morning after receiving her invitations for a round, saying she got dropped by her very favorite house. Let her cry for a minute, but remind her that she needs to dry up those tears and put on a happy face for the next house. She needs to be reminded that the chapters that kept her really want her…they kept her for a reason. She needs to keep moving forward, and you might have to encourage her to do it. Tell her to take a deep breath and “pivot.” She’s going to be OK. (And you are too, Mom.) It might seem like her world is collapsing right now, but it’s not. This is just a blip on the radar. Remind her there are great girls in every chapter; it’s true.

There will be some girls who simply decide sorority life is not for them. Or maybe they just hate the process. Or maybe they have had enough. Whatever the reason, it’s OK to drop out of recruitment, but only after giving it a real effort. Don’t drop out on a whim. And if your daughter simply needs to drop out, you need to assure her that she has to make the best decision for herself.

As for maintaining your own sanity, a glass of wine could be your friend! Or some exercise. Or some sunshine. You got this, Mom.


by Kelly Mattei

It’s Almost Football Season!

It’s almost football season!

Its the most wonderful time of the year…football season! Seriously, we count down every year at our house. We love all kinds of football…high school, college, NFL. We have our favorite teams, but we will watch almost any game. I can’t watch really bad football. If both teams in any game are playing miserably, I have to remove myself from the viewing area of the television. However, I love a good, close game, and I love the spirit of competition!

I have lots of good memories tied up in football. No, I never played. I’m 5’2″ on a tall day. Plus, I’m tough, but I’m not that tough. However, I have lots of great memories from throughout my life that are related to football. One of the greatest games I have ever attended was the Alabama-Miami Sugar Bowl for the National Championship at the end of the 1992 season. To me, it was one for the ages. My team, the Alabama Crimson Tide, was the definite underdog to the powerhouse University of Miami Hurricanes. I went to the game in the New Orleans Superdome expecting to lose, but I was pleasantly surprised that, not only did we win, we pulled off a huge upset, winning 34-13.

As football season approaches every year, we start stocking up on apparel. My daughter is in college at Alabama now, so she needs cute gameday dresses and outfits. I like to find my own gameday outfits, but they’re not as important as hers! In addition, our local NFL team, the Carolina Panthers, just recruited a quarterback from Alabama, so she and I both ordered our very own Bryce Young #9 jerseys. It has been a long time since we were really excited about a Panthers team, but we are looking forward to the season this year. We’ll be the ones at games in the Bryce Young jerseys. Ha!

If you’re looking for your own game day apparel, I have ideas for everyone in the family! Check these out:

  • College girls. In the south, our college girls go one of two routes. They either dress up for the games, or they wear football jerseys representing their school. I should mention it’s really hot during most of football season in the south, so comfort is key. Therefore, short dresses without a whole lot of extra sleeve fabric…those are popular. Breezy rompers are popular, as well. There are some great options on Amazon in lots of different colors/patterns. One romper that comes in lots of colors and will be cool on a hot game day can be found here. Need a dress for a hot game? See one here. Another romper that will work great for college girls on a hot day can be seen here…it’s offered in 19 colors! If your team is green (Tulane? Baylor?), see a cute green option for a hot day here. And see a cute white dress in 100% cotton here. Once it’s cooler, you might opt for this great dress here. To see lots of game day inspiration on Amazon, click here.
  • College apparel/fan gear. Need NCAA apparel or fan gear? You can get that at Amazon too by going to the Campus Colors page here. You can find almost anything you need by searching for your favorite team under “shop by college.” If you’re a Bama fan, you can bypass that step and click here. Auburn fans click here. Arkansas Razorbacks? Click here. For more SEC teams, click on the name of the school: Florida, Georgia, LSU,, Ole Miss, South Carolina, Vandy, Missouri, Tennessee, Texas A&M, or Kentucky. For some reason, Mississippi State isn’t featured, so forgive me, my Bulldog friends. Or check out Amazon’s FAN ZONE here to see goods and apparel from lots of different teams and leagues…college and professional. You can even find those obnoxious car flags there!
  • Plastic flask. If you want to take your own alcohol to a tailgate, I have the perfect flask for you. I know none of my readers would sneak their own alcohol into a game to avoid standing in line at a bar or overpaying for alcohol in a stadium, but if you know someone who would (wink, wink), a plastic flask is great, because it won’t set off a metal detector. My personal favorite can be seen here. At only $10, it’s a steal. I also put a LeakLock Toiletry skin over it to ensure it won’t leak. You can get those here.

It’s still hots as blazes in the southeast right now, but football season will be here soon! Be prepared! I can smell the tailgates and bourbon in the air already!

by Kelly Mattei

Freshman Move-In vs Sophomore Move-In

Freshman move-in vs sophomore move-in.

A friend texted me today telling me her daughter hasn’t helped her gather or pack anything for move-in to her college freshman dorm next week. She seemed annoyed about it, but I chuckled to myself. I know what she is going through. I know how she feels. I went through the same thing last year.

Last year, as we were preparing for our daughter to go off to college for her freshman year, I was making lists and shopping for everything she could possibly need in her dorm room. Boxes filled our foyer. I washed and folded new sheets for her that are better than the sheets I have on my own bed. I packed all the medical supplies, cleaning supplies, and toiletries I could possibly think to pack.

I told my friend, “I think that’s normal. She is probably in denial about her upcoming departure. You’re nesting…just like you did when you were expecting a baby. Nesting/staying busy takes your mind off the fact that your child is about to move hundreds of miles away. If you’re busy you won’t think about it, and if she doesn’t pack anything, she doesn’t have to think about leaving her friends behind.” I told her, “Last year, my daughter packed absolutely nothing. She brought down the clothes/shoes/toiletries she wanted to take (after I told her to), but I did all the packing.” In fact, it was such a foreign concept to me at the time that I wrote a piece about college nesting. You can see it here.

This year, her sophomore year, was much different. We moved her into her sorority house last week. Preparations? I did almost nothing. Seriously. I didn’t order anything. She brought down the very expensive sheets she had packed last year, and I washed them, but that was about it. I did order some wardrobe boxes from Amazon (see them here) for her to pack in, but that’s it. I don’t think I did anything else. I guess she learned something from living away from home: how to take care of business. In fact, I went out for a little while the afternoon before we were taking her to school, and when I got home, all her belongings were in the foyer. She had two wardrobe boxes packed with her clothes, and she had everything else in moving bags and Hulken bags. She really made it easy on me this year.

Do I think that’s normal? Yes. Every friend I have spoken with says their sophomore children have handled all the moving logistics on their own. And all my friends told me last year that their kids did nothing.

What did those rising freshmen do with their time leading up to departure? They spent a lot of time with their high school friends. Perfectly normal. I’m no psychologist, but I remember how hard it is to leave friends behind. By the time sophomore move-in rolls around, they know their high school friends can visit anytime, and they are excited to get back to their college friends.

So don’t worry if your freshman isn’t taking care of business on the move-out process. It’s normal. Let them be with their friends. I can almost guarantee they will handle it next year.

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush Conversations

Sorority rush conversations.

***I am not a sorority recruitment consultant.

Participating in sorority recruitment soon? You’ve probably wondered what people talk about when they go to rush parties. You aren’t being officially “interviewed.” It’s more of a conversation. There are lots of topics, but the main thing is you want to come across as likable, enthusiastic, and interested. How to do that? Here are some ideas:

  • Listen to your rush counselor. Above all else, listen to your rush counselor. They are well-trained.
  • Have some questions in mind. Here’s the deal: in most cases, the sorority member will get the conversation rolling. She isn’t going to be “interviewing” you. She is going to talk to you like one college girl talking to another. However, it is important that you are an active participant. Be prepared to answer questions about yourself. What’s your major? How did you pick this school? What do you like to do on weekends? To see more likely questions, click here. Those are all standard questions a sorority member could ask just to get the ball rolling. Usually, you can find a common topic through those questions. If it doesn’t happen, you need to have some questions of your own to ask…open-ended questions to get a conversation rolling. See a list of some here. Just have a few questions in mind, in case they ask you if you have questions, and in case there is a lull in conversation.
  • Answer enthusiastically. When a member asks you questions, do not answer with a simple “yes” or “no.” For example, if she asks if you’re enjoying recruitment, you might respond, “Yes! I’m having the best time! I love the girls in my rush group, and I feel like I’m meeting awesome new friends everywhere I turn!” If she asks what your major is, talk about it. “Right now, I’m majoring in biology. I’ve always loved science. I hear the biology classes are really hard here, but I’m excited to get started! What’s YOUR major?” Never, ever look bored at a party…always excited to be there. Sometimes, the girls in a chapter will gauge your interest based on the look on your face and body language, so even when you’re tired, muster up some enthusiasm!
  • Check their social media. Between parties, it’s OK to check the social media account of the next chapter you’re visiting. You might get some conversation topics. Maybe you see photos of the members’ summer activities. You can say, “Wow! I saw so many fun places y’all visited on your Instagram!” That could lead a member to talk about what she did over the summer. Or you could say, “I love the chapter Instagram account! The photos from your philanthropy event in the spring were awesome!” But make sure you know what you’re talking about and don’t mix up chapters.
  • Ask the member about herself. People love it when someone asks about them. Therefore, ask about the girl’s major, her interests, her hometown, her rush experience, her hobbies, etc.
  • Be engaged. Listen closely to what she says/asks. Don’t look around the room when you’re talking with a sorority member. Pay attention to what she is saying. Make eye contact. Smile.
  • Don’t talk about sensitive subjects. Do not discuss boys (boyfriends, swaps, etc), religion, politics, alcohol, or money (how much you have or don’t have, how much are dues, etc). Some people call it the Bs: boys, Bible, Biden, booze, bucks.
  • Be friendly and polite. Whether you are truly interested in the chapter or not, be friendly and polite. Remember, most sorority girls have friends in other chapters, and if you’re rude, they will tell their friends in other chapters. Word gets around. Also, always thank the girls. If you are talking with a girl and she hands you off to another one (you’ll usually talk to more than one girl during a party), thank each girl at the end of each conversation. It’s OK to say, “I enjoyed talking with you! Thank you!” Also, make sure to thank the girl who walks you out. Thanking someone is always a good idea.
  • Do NOT discuss other chapters with sorority members or with other PNMs. No one needs to know who dropped you. No one needs to know your favorites. No one needs to know which chapters you do or don’t want to join. Do not speak ill of any chapters or sorority members. Keep your preferences to yourself.

If Panhellenic at the school you’re attending publishes a recruitment guide, read it thoroughly. You are more likely to have a fun experience during recruitment if you are well-informed.

Most of all, enjoy the experience!