Category / daughter

by Kelly Mattei

Best Items I Purchased On Amazon This Year

Best items I purchased on Amazon this year (so far).

The year’s not over, but for those who might want to do some holiday shopping, I have listed more than 20 of my “best purchases” to share, starting in January of 2024. It’s a big mix of price points and products. You might have seen some of them before, but there are likely some you haven’t seen! These would make great gifts for family, friends, or party hosts/hostesses! Here we go…

  • Amazon Fire TV. I purchased one for my daughter’s bedroom at school and then turned around and purchased one for use on our back patio! At $99 right now, you cannot beat the deal on this Smart TV! Get it here.
  • Bible Jar. It’s a little thing that can make a big difference. I sent one to my daughter, and I sent one to myself too! Inside the jar are Bible verses that are color-coded to your needs. Feeling anxious? Angry? Happy? Sad? Lonely? It’s all there, and you can just pull out a color-coded verse. It makes a great gift. Right now it’s priced under $15. Get it at Amazon here.
  • Lolavie Glossing Detangler. I love this stuff! It makes my hair smooth and shiny, and it doesn’t take much to get the desired effect! I stumbled upon it as a free gift when I purchased something, and then I had to go buy it at Amazon! Get it here.

  • Amazon Essentials Women’s Lightweight Terry Joggers. Y’all, I feel like I’m walking around in my pajamas when I go out in these, but they aren’t pajamas. They’re just that comfortable! Pair them with a tunic sweater, and they’re great for airline travel. Priced at $19. Get them here.
  • Colorful Crystal Hoop Earrings. Sure, I have some nicer earrings, but these are colorful and match almost everything! These are great for travel, because you can wear them with so many things, day or night! They’re priced right at under $15, so if you lose one, you won’t sweat it. In fact, go ahead and buy two pairs on the front end! Get them here.
  • Seekway Water Shoes. I ordered these on a whim right before we went to the Bahamas, and after we got there, I realized how smart I was! Wow! I could walk around the beach and sandbars without worrying about stepping on sharp objects. I love them! They come in lots of colors, and the price is right! Get them here.
  • Foot Massager. This is listed as a foot massager, but it’s more of a TENS machine for the feet, and I love it. It folds up nicely in my suitcase, so I can take it anywhere I go! When I have been on my feet all day, it helps my feet and legs relax. Or if I’m struggling with Restless Leg Syndrome at night, this will sometimes help. Priced under $40, and there’s an 8% off coupon you can use with it at time of writing. Get it here.
  • Neoprene Socks. This goes back to a trip to the Bahamas. I purchased these neoprene socks to wear under my fins when I’m snorkeling, so the fins don’t rub blisters on my heels or toes. They work great, and they’re even helpful when walking on the beach too. Priced under $15 at time of writing. Get them here.
  • Personal Air Cooler. Sometimes, hotel air conditioners just don’t get the job done. A fan helps, but a personal air cooler really helps. It’s the difference in good sleep and no sleep. This one is small enough to fit into my suitcase, and from the nightstand, it blows cool air directly on my face or the back of my neck. I love it. Highly recommend, and it’s 30% off right now! Get it here.
  • Yukon Charlie’s Hammerhead Sled. Greatest sled ever made, if you’re asking me! We have enjoyed Yukon Charlie’s Hammerhead Sleds for years! It’s fast, sturdy, and somewhat steerable. At $199, it’s expensive, but the kids will love it if it snows! Get it here.
  • JBL Vibe Beam or JBL Vibe Buds. I have purchased both of these wireless ear buds, and I love both of them. I guess it’s just personal preference. I can tell you this…I will not purchase any more Apple Air Pods. I lose them too easily, and these are much less expensive and more comfortable. Get the Beam here. Get the Buds here.
  • Stitch Gun, Tagging Gun for Clothes. Y’all, how did I live without this?!?! It has saved me so many times since I purchased it! Dress too low cut? Put a stitch in it! Bra strap keeps showing? Stitch the shirt to it! And yes, i have hemmed pants with it when necessary. Sooo many uses! I love it! Highly recommend! Get it here.
  • Milani Violet Eyelash Primer. I have tried “high dollar” eyelash primers and none have worked as well as this one. This is a secret I almost kept to myself, but you can get it here! It would make a great stocking stuffer!
  • CorDx TyFast 10 Mins Flu A/B & Covid-19 test. Quick and easy! I used this last week when I needed to know if what I had was a cold, the flu, or Covid. It was a cold. I used something similar earlier this year to find out I had flu, but this one is much less expensive. Keep this in your house this winter! Get it here!
  • Window Alarm System 4-Pack. For peace of mind, I got these for my daughter and all her college roommates. It’s easy to install! Get it here.
  • Dr. Barbara Sturm Glow Cream. This is not something I purchased myself, but someone gifted it to me! It’s expensive, but I love it. I use it very sparingly, because it is so expensive. Someone on your list would likely love it! Get it here.
  • Arched Floor Mirror. My daughter needed a full-length mirror for her bedroom in her apartment, and this one does not have to be mounted to the wall. It comes with a stand! Get it here!
  • Round Nightstand Table. When I purchased this for our daughter’s apartment, I thought it was probably going to be junky, but it’s not! She loves it! It required some easy assembly. It looks great in her room! Get it here.
  • Pietro Simone Skincare Dewy Reboot. This serum, while pricy, uses peptides to provide an “intense epidermis reboot.” Love this stuff. A little goes a long way. It would be a great gift for the person who wouldn’t spend it on themselves. Get it here.
  • Rainbow Loom. Hands down, this is one of the greatest inventions ever for kids of all ages. My daughter got her first Rainbow Loom in elementary school. Now that she is a junior in college, she will still pick it up and make some silly rubberband bracelets to relax. It’s a great gift and inexpensive! Get it here.
  • Pawland Wooden Freestanding Pet Gates. My friend, Meg, told me about these when I was complaining about our dogs hanging out in our dining room. These solved the problem! I highly recommend these if you want to make certain spaces off limits to your pets. Get it here.
  • Peter Thomas Roth Instant Eye Tightener. Yes, I bought it, and yes, it works. It’s temporary, but it does work. I had some friends over this summer, and they liked it so much that they went out and bought some too! I haven’t purchased the face tightener, but they said it works too! Get the eye tightener here, and the face tightener here.
  • Hollywood Vanity Mirror. Another purchase for our daughter’s bedroom in her apartment, she uses this every day. Easy setup and operation. Get it here.
  • Credit Card Holder Wallet with RFID protection. I bought one of these for myself when I went to Mexico City earlier this year. Then, one day, my daughter’s friend saw it when we were at dinner, and she loved it! She thought it was a designer label. I ended up ordering them for my daughter and her friend! They make great gifts, and they’re inexpensive. Get the credit card holder here. And the larger credit card wallet here.
  • Thermacell Patio Mosquito Protection. It works! This small machine and its cartridges protect you from mosquitoes. I know, because it even works for me, and mosquitoes seek me out in a crowd! It’s a great gift! Get it here.
  • Deco 79 Recycled Glass Tall Vase. I needed a tall vase for my foyer, and this one did the trick! We love it! Get it here!
  • Meiz Pregnancy Pillow. No, I’m not pregnant. I’m 57, but I love this pregnancy pillow. I have used other brands, but this one is my all time favorite. I sleep so much better with this pillow. The only problem? I can’t travel with it. And yes, it’s also great for pregnant women! Get one here.
  • Lenox Blue Bay Colors Dinnerware. I changed colors in my kitchen this year. I have another “nicer” set of everyday dinnerware, but I wanted to add this to mix and match. I love them. Get them here.
  • Naturalizer Womens Amble Block Heel Loafer. Y’all, these look way more expensive than they are, and I love the tall block heel. They have a little platform, too, so the heel doesn’t feel as tall. I have worn them with pants, but now that it’s getting cooler, I will wear them with dresses and tights too! Get them here.
  • SANTINY Womens Joggers. These are stretchy but look better than joggers, if that makes sense. They almost look like dressier pants. I have them in two camouflage shades and black, and they look great with sweaters or blouses…or even a denim top or jacket. Get them here.

Happy Shopping! All these items have been great purchases (or gifts) for me! ***I might receive commission on items purchased from Amazon through my links.***

by Kelly Mattei

Christmas Gifts for Future College Students

Christmas gifts for future college students. ***I might receive commission on items purchased through my Amazon links.***

Have a son or daughter preparing to go to college in January or next fall? Christmas is the perfect opportunity to start stocking up on all the dorm or apartment necessities. Here are some items at different price points that will make great gifts:

  • Sleepyhead Mattress Topper. This is a great Early Black Friday Deal on Amazon! Sleepyhead makes what we call the “Mack Daddy” of mattress toppers! Normally priced at $379, the Sleepyhead Twin XL 3-inch Premium Gel Topper, right now, is just under $285. That’s a 25% savings! My daughter used this mattress topper her freshman and sophomore years, and she loved it. If you’ve ever slept on a dorm mattress, you know a mattress topper is a necessity for all college students. Sleepyhead makes a variety of sizes, from Twin to King. To purchase the 3-inch Twin XL Gel version, click here. But Sleepyhead has is offering 25% off all their mattress toppers on Amazon for Early Black Friday! Maybe you’d like one or two for home to extend the life of your home mattresses?! To shop other sizes Sleepyhead offers, click here.

  • Hollywood Vanity Mirror with Lights. My daughter has this vanity mirror. She is a junior, and this was something she knew she wanted in her apartment this year, and she loves it. It was super easy to set up, and it’s something she uses every day. In fact, she will get another one for Christmas…to use at home. With an Early Black Friday Deal on Amazon, it’s 15% off and priced at $84.99. This one is a no-brainer. Get it before it’s gone here.

  • Keurig K-Express Single Serve K-Cup Coffee Maker. If your child doesn’t drink coffee now, he/she likely will when they get to college! Or maybe they enjoy hot tea or hot chocolate? This Keurig Single Cup Coffee Maker is perfect for a small dorm room or even an apartment bedroom. Amazon is offering it at 33% off for an Early Black Friday Deal! Get it here!

  • Clothes Steamer. I hate wrinkled clothes. I hate wearing them, and I hate seeing them. I love ironing. Seriously, I love it. However, my daughter would never drag out and put away an ironing board. Therefore, we sent her to school with a standup steamer her freshman year. She and her roommate used it, but she did tell me later that it took up valuable space in a dorm room, but it never disappeared! If other girls wanted to use it, they had to come to her room, so the steamer couldn’t “walk away.” To see my favorite standup steamer, click here. If you prefer to get a handheld steamer, click here to see Amazon’s Choice. It’s almost HALF OFF! (Make sure your student’s name is on it, because people will “borrow” the handheld version.)

  • Bluetooth Speaker. They need it. College students need their music, and they need to be able to hear it well. My daughter has two different JBL bluetooth speakers, and my husband has one too! They come at different price points, so stick with me from highest to lowest. For big sound, I recommend the JBL Boombox. At Amazon, you can purchase the latest Boombox 3 for $499.95 here, or go for the Boombox 2 for $299.95 (a Black Friday savings of $25%) here. Both offer 24 hours of playtime on a charge, and both are waterproof! The Boomboxes are portable, but a little bulky. For something smaller, go for the JBL Extreme. The latest version, the Extreme 3, is available for Early Black Friday Savings at 24% off here. However, for big price savings without sacrificing quality, you can get the Extreme 2 on an Early Black Friday Deal for as low as $144.99 here. Both offer 15 hours of playtime on a charge!

  • Hulken Bag. When I tell people about Hulken Bags, they look a little confused at first, but when I show them a Hulken Bag, they get it. These bags carry a lot. They are lightweight, and they roll very easily. I keep one in my car, for those times I need to take a lot of returns somewhere. My daughter uses hers when she had a lot of items she needs to take in from the car or to the car. I recommend the medium Hulken Bag, and right now, you can get a great Early Black Friday Deal! These rarely go on sale, but there’s a 20% off coupon on Amazon right now that will save you $22 off the $114 price! That’s a deal! Take advantage of it now here.

  • Cordless Handheld Vacuum. This one is self-explanatory, I think. College students use these to clean up crumbs or small messes, and they use it to suck the dust/dirt out of their laptop keyboards. Come to think of it, I need to use one on my keyboard right now! Amazon’s Choice is the Black and Decker Dustbuster QuickClean you can purchase here.

  • Amazon Fire TV. I purchased this very 32″ TV for our daughter’s bedroom in her apartment, and then I purchased one for outdoor use at our house. Our daughter doesn’t care anything about regular programming. She simply wants to be able to access her streaming apps on a TV screen, and this Amazon Fire TV does the trick! Priced at just $99 right now (normally $139), it’s a deal you can’t beat! Get it here.

  • Air Purifier. Dorm living means lots of people sharing space. An air purifier can work to absorb some of those germs and clean up any dust particles in the air. Lots of people say it is absolutely essential for dorm living. Get Amazon’s Choice here.

  • Lapdesk. These have been around for a long time! I remember using one at home in high school…and maybe before! They’re not terribly expensive, but now you can get 20% off this one on a special Amazon Early Black Friday deal! Get it here.

Happy Shopping for the future college student on your list!

by Kelly Mattei

College Nesting?

***I posted this two years ago, in 2022, when I was preparing to send our daughter off to college 450 miles away. If you’re about to send your child off to college, you can do this!***

College nesting?

Nineteen years ago, we were eagerly awaiting the arrival of our daughter. She was due on October 11, so in August and September of that year, I was in full-on “nesting mode.” Anyone who has ever expected a baby knows what I’m talking about…that need to get every detail squared away before the baby arrives. Back then, we read all about it in What to Expect When You’re Expecting, so we weren’t surprised when we found ourselves lining drawers and washing everything in sight.

Fast forward 19 years, and I find myself doing the same thing.

Why am I “nesting” for my soon-to-be college freshman?

Why am I nesting for my soon-to-be college freshman? It had never occurred to me that this could happen, but a couple of days ago, as I packed up some IKEA bags with dorm bedding, lighting, and other items, I realized, “I’m nesting.” Unfortunately, I haven’t ever found a book called What to Expect When You’re Sending Your Child to College, so I don’t have any reference. Sure, I have called my friends who have college kids and asked them about it. They all assure me that what I’m doing is perfectly normal…that it’s a way of dealing with the transition. I just wish I could see it in writing somewhere.

Is the transition going to be easy? No. I am beyond excited for our daughter. She is going to enjoy the full college experience at my alma mater. Sure, there will be days she is stressed out or even homesick, but hopefully, I will be able to talk her through it. Or her friends will distract her. Or she will get busy and forget about homesickness. As for me, I don’t know who will talk me through it. I will miss her like crazy. Will I be able to handle it? Yes, of course. No, I’m not planning to move to be near her college. In fact, I have three big vacations planned for the month following her departure. If that doesn’t help take my mind off it, nothing will.

But that’s why this whole college nesting thing happens…for the parents. Any good parent is likely a little worried about their college-bound kid. I’m not worried about her handling the school work. She will figure that out. I know, too, that she will make new friends quickly…especially since she will be living in a dorm. It’s more of a concern about her spinning her wheels trying to get everything else done. I know she can and will do it, but my nesting instinct is making me prepare everything I can for her room. Cold/nausea/pain medications? Check. I don’t want her to have to run out to look for meds if she is feeling poorly. Cleaning supplies/vacuum cleaner? Check. I have no idea how often she and her roommate will clean the bathroom in their dorm room, but I want to make sure the tools are there. Laundry supplies/clothing prep? Check. I have packed a stand-up steamer and laundry supplies, including Static Guard, a wrinkle releaser, an on-the-go spot remover, and a small sewing kit. Basic school supplies? Check. Having a few things in advance won’t hurt. Bins and organizers for the room? Check. They likely won’t be used as planned, but they have them if they want them.

I know she and her roommate will need to go out and get more things after we, the parents, hit the road. It will give them an excuse to get out of the dorm for a little while. Do I think they will end up doubling up on some of the things I have carefully packed and organized for them? Yes, because they won’t even look at a lot of the things I have packed. They won’t even realize they already have rubberbands and paperclips. And that’s OK.

Whether they use the things I have packed or not, I will know I sent her off prepared for most things. She might go out and look for Band-Aids for the blisters on her heels even though I packed them in a medicine box for them. And again, that’s OK. I know those Band-Aids are there for them. That’s why I’m “college nesting,” just like other parents are all over the country right now. Sure, it’s for them, but mostly, it makes me feel better about her departure. By focusing on mundane tasks, I am not focusing on the fact that this child (adult?) I have nurtured and loved for almost 19 years is flying the coop.

She is leaving us and will never live in our house again on a permanent basis. I think that’s the fact I am trying to process while I’m preparing her for the next school year. We are proud parents. We are happy that she is moving into this next phase of life, and we are excited about what it means for us too. But it’s going to be a transition, for sure.

I guess I should get busy packing up some clothes for her today.

by Kelly Mattei

You Are Not Going to College with Your Child

You are not going to college with your child.

Why am I saying that? Well, because it seems lots of parents think they need to be involved with their child’s college experience. I’m here to tell you: you do not need to know anything, Mom. Even if you went to your child’s orientation session (or plan to attend), you don’t need to remember the information. College is your child’s job. It’s not your job. If you keep assisting your child with everything he/she needs to do/know, your child will never learn to do it on his/her own. Stick with me, and at the end of this piece, I will tell you what you can do to make your child’s transition to college more successful.

I think parents became more “helicopterish” with their college students when colleges and universities started offering orientation sessions for parents. No, just no. It makes me sick. I have said before that I went with my daughter two years ago, but I only went because it seemed everyone else was going, and I didn’t want her to feel like an orphan! I skipped out at lunch on the first day and never looked back. I simply couldn’t take it. It made me crazy that parents were asking questions kids should have been asking for themselves. If I had a second child, he/she would be going it alone, and I would feel great about it. You know why? Well, I truly believe those parent sessions are simply babysitting sessions to keep parents busy after they have traveled there. It wasn’t terrible, but I did not need to know the information they were putting out there. Where to park? I don’t care. Where to eat? I don’t care. I have already graduated from college…way back in the 1980s…and I figured it all out myself.

In 1985, my parents didn’t go to orientation with me! No way! I drove myself two hours to the university, found the dorm without a navigation system in my car, learned what I needed to know, made my schedule, and drove myself home…alone. In fact, I don’t recall seeing one parent at orientation at The University of Alabama in 1985!

And while I’m at it, allow me to also remind you that you don’t need to make your child’s academic schedule. Again, he/she needs to learn how to do it on his/her own. I see parents on the parent pages regularly talking about helping their kids make their schedules. What??? I don’t even know what classes my daughter is taking! And my parents never knew what classes I was taking!

Take a deep breath, Mom. Your child can navigate college without you. If you don’t believe that, maybe your child shouldn’t be going too far from home. Mine goes to a school 450 miles away, and it’s the greatest thing I ever did for her…letting her do college on her own. She takes care of herself and handles everything on her own, and we don’t waste our time talking about school. We talk about life and fun things, instead!

So, how can you help your child with the transition to college? I’m not a counselor or psychologist, but I am a mom, so I know a little bit. Here’s what you can do:

  • Help them prepare to outfit their dorm room. Gather what they need, and purchase what you don’t have. (Amazon Prime Days are coming up in mid-July, and there will be lots of dorm stuff on sale…a great time to get good prices! Come back to my site to get information on some special deals!)
  • Answer the phone when they call you…anytime, day or night. That first semester can be difficult, so they might need a sounding board. Be there for them. Be supportive. Be positive and encouraging.
  • Make sure they know what to do in emergency situations.
  • Provide whatever they need.
  • Most of all:

Let your little birdie fly! It might not be easy, but it’s important! They can do this! And you can too!

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush Prep Should Be Well Underway

Sorority rush prep should be well underway.

If your daughter is participating in sorority recruitment, especially in the south, you need to be knee deep in preparations by now. If not, it’s not too late, but get busy. I wrote a piece in February called Don’t Sweat Fall Sorority Rush Yet, and in it, I included a timeline of preparation. It’s almost mid-June…let’s gooooooooo! To read the piece I mentioned, click here.

In the piece, the timeline mentions the wardrobe in July. That is when it should be shored up and ready to go. Shop now for rush appropriate dresses. That means you don’t want to be too flashy, too skimpy, or too matronly. Most college-age girls know what is fashionable, but if you wouldn’t wear it in front of your boyfriend’s mother, don’t wear it for rush.

If you haven’t registered for rush or made any required videos, get busy. I’ve mentioned this before: don’t read a script for your video, but have some talking points, making sure you cover any prompts they have requested. Smile and be confident, and use good lighting!

Millions of young women have participated in recruitment over the years; you can do this!

Please send any questions, comments, or concerns. I love getting questions!

by Kelly Mattei

For Mother’s Day, I’m Quoting Jerry Seinfeld

For Mother’s Day, I’m quoting Jerry Seinfeld.

I just saw a clip of Graham Bensinger interviewing Jerry Seinfeld. Bensinger asked, “How did having children impact your life?” Jerry Seinfeld said, “Only a person who doesn’t have kids would ask that question.” Indeed! What did Seinfeld reply? He said, “Kids are the greatest show on Earth. You just want to watch them live. The entertainment value of watching them live…the kids are very entertaining, because they’re primitive humans.” He went on to say that, because we enjoyed our own childhood, we try to improve upon it and make our kids’ childhood perfect.

The whole conversation made me ponder parenthood. I only have one child, but how did having that one child impact my life? The answer: in every way possible. She was born almost 21 years ago, and almost 21 years ago, my life was no longer about me…in the most awesome, incredible way. I remember going through security at the airport when I was about six or seven months pregnant, and one of the TSA agents stopped me and said, “I have to tell you I’m psychic.” I laughed, and he continued, “I see big changes in your future.” Nothing could have been more accurate.

I was 36 years old when I became a mother. I had been married for three years, but I had never really had to worry about someone else, and suddenly, at 36, I had to take this little seven pound bundle of joy into consideration before I did anything. Going to the grocery store? I couldn’t just grab the keys and run out the door. I had to put the baby in the car seat, grab the diaper bag, and make sure the stroller was in the car before I could leave. And that was just the beginning. It was a big adjustment, and it wasn’t easy, but wow…it was so worth it.

She is, indeed, as Seinfeld put it, “the greatest show on Earth.” Watching her learn and grow has been the greatest time in my life. I have said before that I feel like I have had three childhoods: my real one, my college years, and then my daughter’s childhood. Now I feel like I’m living my fourth childhood through her college years. She just finished her sophomore year at my college alma mater, and even though I’m not there all the time (that would be weird), I love when she calls to tell me about her daily life or exciting things that happen. I even love connecting that to my own time at the university. She loves hearing my stories of the “old days” at some of the same places she goes, and I love hearing her new stories!

When she became a part of my life, everything immediately changed. Did I realize just how incredible it would be having her here in this world before she arrived? No. There is no way anyone could have prepared me for that. Don’t get me wrong; that first year was tough. I had the baby who wanted to be a part of everything. She didn’t nap. She slept pretty well for eight or nine hours a night, but napping was not on her agenda. She wanted to be in on the fun! I know some people thought I was crazy, but two different pedicatricians assured me that some babies nap, and some don’t. As it turns out, it was just my daughter’s personality. She still doesn’t want to miss out on anyting, and it serves her well now. However, that first year? I wasn’t sure I would survive, but I did…sleep-deprived and all.

And here we are, twenty years later…still enjoying the greatest show on earth. I love being a mom. No job in this whole world is more important or more fulfilling than motherhood.

by Kelly Mattei

Links to Sorority Rush Posts

Several people have asked for links to some of my posts about sorority rush. Here are some from the past, and I’m sure I will have some new ones over the next few months. ***I am not a rush consultant.*** Please feel free to send me any questions you might have. I am always open to suggestions and ideas for new posts!

Links to sorority recruitment (rush) posts:

  • Sorority Rush Preparation in the South, click here.
  • Sorority Rush Bags, click here.
  • Moms and Sorority Rush, click here.
  • Sorority Rush: Last Minute Items, click here.
  • Sorority Rush Conversations, click here.
  • OK, Moms, It’s Sorority Rush Time, click here.
  • When Sorority Rush is Over, click here.
by Kelly Mattei

Don’t Sweat Fall Sorority Rush Yet

Don’t sweat fall sorority rush yet.

I have received three phone calls from worried friends this week. Their daughters are planning to participate in sorority rush in the fall at big southern schools, and they are worried they should be working on “rush stuff” right now. No. The answer is no. Let your daughter enjoy her senior year!

Mom, you can start thinking about the preparation, but there’s no need to be consumed by it. What can you do now? Look up which sororities have chapters at your daughter’s school. Start thinking of your friends who know your daughter; which ones were in sororities in college and would be willing and able to write recommendations for your daughter? Make a list in the notes on your phone. Or you can do like one of my friends and make a spreadsheet. I’m not Type A, so a spreadsheet was not my thing. I just made a list. Anytime you’re out and about and hear that someone is a member or alumna of a sorority, make a note of it in your phone.

If you’re thinking about hiring a rush consultant, that’s entirely up to you. We didn’t hire one for my daughter when she rushed, and she landed exactly where she wanted to be. I have lots of friends who have daughters who have rushed, and personally, I don’t know anyone who hired a consultant. And all my friends have daughters who are very happy with their rush choices. The hiring of a consultant is a personal choice.

Seriously, right now, just start compiling your recommendation list and having your daughter start working on her resumé. The girls cannot even make a complete resumé right now, because they don’t know what they’ll have to add before the end of the school year.

In May, have your daughter contact your friends who are sorority alumnae by phone, text, or email to ask them to write recommendations for her. This is something she needs to do herself, and she needs to ask people who actually know her. In a pinch, she can ask a friend of a friend. Recommendations are basically introductions of your daughter to the chapters, so she will want them to be able to write about her from personal knowledge. For example, when my neighbor’s daughter participated in “recruitment,” I was able to write a detailed recommendation/introduction of her, because I had first-hand knowledge of her personality and great attributes. Try to get recommendations to every chapter, and whatever you do, make sure your daughter does not say to any alumnae, “I’m only interested in sororities A, B, and C.” First, it sounds bad. Secondly, until rush begins, your daughter might think she knows what she likes, but she might change her mind. She also might not get invited to the ones she think she will.

You can start looking at dresses if you like. Spring dresses are coming out now, so it’s perfectly fine to start looking and even purchasing dresses she thinks she will wear. When shopping, look for fairly conservative dresses but not too conservative. Amanda Uprichard offers some great options at amandauprichard.com.

But right now, the main thing is to have rush in the back of your mind. Keep you ears and eyes open for people who can help with recommendations. Soak up every moment of senior year of high school, and enjoy having your daughter at home with you!

Here’s a rough timeline of preparation:

  • January-April: Find out which sororities have chapters on campus. Also, make a list/spreadsheet of sorority alumni who can write recommendations for your daughter. ***ALSO, make sure your daughter cleans up her social media…no alcohol or extreme photos.***
  • March-May: watch the university’s Panhellenic website to find out when registration is. At most southern universities, you can register for fall rush starting in May.
  • May-June: Your daughter can contact sorority alumni and ask for recommendations, telling them they will send their resumé soon.
  • June: create a resumé using the Canva app or another app. Distribute the resumé to the alumni who have agreed to write recommendations. Most sororities want digital recommendations now, so please don’t do old school “rush packets.” If you don’t know what that is, don’t worry about it…you don’t need to know.
  • July: make sure you have your rush wardrobe, and finish gathering everything for the “rush bag.” For more information on the rush bag, click here.
  • Late July/August: move her into her dorm and let the magic happen!

I will have posts later in the spring and summer with more information.

Mostly, relax. Don’t let your daughter get nervous about it.

***Over the next few days, I will be re-posting some posts about rush and preparation for it.***

by Kelly Mattei

Revisiting Childhood

Revisiting Childhood.

Anyone who has spent any time with me has heard me say that I feel like I have had three childhoods: 1. my real childhood 2. college 3. my now 20-yr-old daughter’s childhood. I’ve had a lot of fun in my life, and a lot of it was associated with those three eras. Now, I’ve entered what I think might be a fourth childhood…empty-nesting! I often think of all those other childhoods, including the great experiences I had with my child as a stay-at-home mom. However, it’s not often I revisit a place that we frequented when she was a toddler/young child.

Today I did just that.

I read recently that the Charlotte Nature Museum would be closing. It’s a quiet little nature museum in Charlotte near Freedom Park. When my daughter was a toddler/little girl, we were regulars at the Charlotte Nature Museum. I was fortunate to be a part of a playgroup made up of moms who had kids about the same age. Lucky for us, the moms were pretty close in age too, and we all became great friends. In fact, I’m not sure I would have survived toddlerhood without my awesome playgroup friends. We had places we visited regularly with the kids, and on the short list was Charlotte Nature Museum. It’s likely the kids don’t even remember much, if anything, about the “museum,” but that’s OK. It gave us moms lots of peace when our kids were little. There were turtles, an opposum, a butterfly garden, and there’s even a planetarium. Somehow, we never made it to one of the planetarium shows, but we did enjoy watching the kids watch the animals.

I realized today was the last day for the museum to be open, so yesterday, I called my friend, Kelli, who grew up in Charlotte, and I asked her if she would visit the museum with me. She said she recalled visiting the museum as a schoolgirl; the whole class would load up on school buses, go to the museum, and then go to McDonald’s for lunch…a big treat back in the day. After talking about some of her memories, she agreed to go with me today.

We met at 11:00 and rode together to the museum. When we walked in, she said, “Oh my gosh! It hasn’t changed since the 1970s!” I could verify that it hasn’t changed much in the last 20 years, but Kelli gave me verification that it was much the same in the 70s. We walked around, taking pictures of the taxidermy animals to show our kids, hoping to jog their memories with photos later. I took a picture of myself posing as an insect, in a photo op that has been around since I started going there in 2005. I sent it to my 20-yr-old daughter and asked, “Do you remember this?” She responded, “OMG! Yes!” I knew there probably wouldn’t be much she would remember, but because the kids used to have to take turns with the insect photo op, I thought she might remember it. It warmed my heart that she had some recall of the Charlotte Nature Museum! (See photos from today at bottom of page.)

After we strolled through the butterfly garden and saw a few butterflies, we took photos of the resident turtles, the opossom, and the snakes. Very little had changed since my last visit there. Sadly, the building will be demolished soon to make room for a new and improved Charlotte Nature Museum. While I’m sure it will be awesome, I feel sure it won’t have the same charm as the old museum…small with several small rooms, no hi-tech gimmicks, and lots of little creatures and lessons about little creatures.

We left with smiles on our faces. Back in the car, we talked about our memories of the nature museum…how Kelli’s class used to line up on the back porch of the museum and along the boardwalk. I talked about how my daughter and my friends’ kids mostly just wanted to stand and watch the snakes and turtles. They weren’t much interested in the little indoor playground…and I was thankful for that, because it really looked like a germ fest to me.

As we drove away from the Charlotte Nature Museum in our car instead of a school bus, I asked Kelli, “Where would you like to have lunch?” She didn’t really have a preference, but after a brief discussion, we decided McDonald’s would be the perfect ladies lunch place today. We agreed it would be the perfect ending to a nature museum visit, so we went to McDonald’s and ate in the dining room there. That also conjured up memories of my daughter’s childhood, as someone’s child had left a Happy Meal toy on the table we chose. I told Kelli, “This would have been pure gold when my daughter was little.” I didn’t know a lot of moms who took their kids to McDonald’s, but I did, and fortunately, my playgroup friends did too. McDonald’s was a great rainy day destination back in the day, because the one we went to had an indoor playground…yes, a germ fest, for sure…but on a rainy day, I didn’t really care.

Lucky me! I got to revisit my daughter’s childhood today! Just walking into the nature museum, I stepped back in time…it still smelled the same, and basically, it looked the same. Now I wish I had taken my daughter when she was home for the holidays.

by Kelly Mattei

College Student Struggled?

College student struggled?

The grades have come in for first semester, so by now, parents everywhere know if their college student did well, struggled, or failed. I have a friend whose daughter’s first semester was a disappointment, and I told her what I’m going to tell you: One semester does not a failure make.

It happens every year. Kids who were successful in high school get to college and struggle. Often, it’s students who skated through high school, so they never really learned to study. Other students went to college thinking they were the smartest people in the room, so they decided to start with difficult classes, and they weren’t really prepared. They should have started out with a lighter schedule.

My daughter is a sophomore in college, so I know lots of college students. For students who go to college where football is big and Greek life starts in the fall, I always tell those students, “Take it easy on yourself academically first semester. You’re going to be adjusting to college. You’re rushing a sorority/fraternity. Football season is a lot of fun, and there will be lots of distractions. Don’t make the first semester more difficult than it has to be.” My daughter listened and did very well her first semester. Some of her friends even listened! Others…not so much…and they struggled or even failed first semester. They came home and said, “I should have listened.”

But what I want to tell you is that your student can recover! One of my very best friends made a 1.0 her first semester in college! Her dad sold her car and sent her back to college without it, telling her she had one more semester to get her act together. When she went home for spring break, she asked her dad where her car was, and he replied, “You mean my car? The one I paid for? I sold it!” And you know what? At the end of that second semester, her grades were much better. He got her a new car. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think the car had anything to do with it. I think my friend simply buckled down, because she knew her dad would make her leave school and go home if she didn’t do well her second semester.

Another friend had dreams of going to law school. After two semesters of playing too much, her grades were in the toilet, and her parents did not send her back to the university. Interestingly, after working for a couple of years, her parents sent her back to the university. She did well. She graduated and went to law school! Yet another friend made a 1.6 his first semester of college and eventually went on to a prestigious medical school.

Sometimes, kids just need a little kick in the pants…not literally, of course. I mean they need a little wake-up call. Many of them have never experienced failure, so seeing bad grades at the end of the semester is a shock to their system! Some are motivated by it. Others, not so much. And some just need a little more time to mature. What I’m trying to tell you is, “Don’t give up on your kid!” It’s OK to punish your student. It’s OK to sell the car or use whatever “currency” is important to them, but I have seen many first semester failures turn into successes.

Hang in there, Mom and Dad. Encourage your student to work hard and get the help he/she needs…tutors, study sessions, office hours with professors, time management, etc. Check in regularly. Be your student’s cheerleader.

One semester does not a failure make.