Category / friends

by Kelly Mattei

My Favorite Holiday Gifts, Part 2: Women’s Accessories (including shoes)

Y’all think I’m crazy for talking about Christmas right after Halloween, but you will thank me later! It doesn’t do any good to write about good gifts after Thanksgiving…everything will be gone by then! I’m trying to help you get the jump on your holiday shopping! In my last Holiday Gifts post, I listed Books. Over the next few weeks, I will suggest my favorite gifts for Men/Boys, Women’s Apparel, Home, Travel, Stocking Stuffers, and Kids/Teens. So today it’s Accessories, including shoes, handbags, jewelry, and hats. There are so many great things out there, and I’m having a hard time with the “one for you, one for me” thing. Every time I purchase something for someone else, I want to get one for myself! Hopefully, you will find some things listed that you can add to your own Christmas list, and maybe you’ll find some for friends and family too!

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Rebecca Minkoff Leo Saffiano Envelope Clutch (above). I have one of these I carry in another handbag when I’m traveling. It’s small, and it’s the perfect clutch to carry to dinner. Available in a variety of colors from Neiman Marcus and in a lovely glitter black for $95 here. *For a nominal charge, Neiman Marcus will package your gift in a lovely gift box and bow.*

Kendra Scott Jewelry Because of the wide range of jewelry they offer, Kendra Scott appeals to all ages. Teens love the more dainty pieces. Adults love those dainty pieces and the larger statement pieces, as well. Personally, I love opals, and Kendra Scott has lots of opal pieces. I recently noticed they have Moody Mood Necklaces and Leah Mood Rings that are reminiscent of the 1970s. I’m thinking I might have to add some of these to my Christmas list for the kitsch alone. Shop Kendra Scott Jewelry here.

Kendra Scott Moody Mood Necklaces and Leah Mood Rings, $75 each
Kendra Scott Cat Eye Pendant Necklace in silver, $50

 

Shiny Shoes. Since I wrote a whole blog about shiny shoes recently, I thought I should include them as well. Everyone loves sparkly gifts! Nordstrom has glitter shoes in lots of different styles and prices ranges. These will make her happy! Shop all shoes at Nordstrom here.

Longchamp La Pliage Packable Tote. longchamp_tote_bag_s_le_pliage_l2605089545_0This foldable, packable tote is perfect for travel, but it’s just a great all-around tote that comes in lots of colors and several sizes. The small is about the size of a small handbag, while the medium and large work great as shopping totes or overnight bags. My daughter uses a medium for overnights, and a large for weekends away. Great for moms or teens, and everyone loves them. Prices start at $125. Get it at Nordstrom.com here.

Evil Eye Jewelry. Evil eye is everywhere this year, and it’s popular with folks of all ages. I’ve seen the evil eye emblazoned on sweatshirts (I have one!) and t-shirts, but mostly, I’ve seen lots of evil eye jewelry.  My teen daughter loves to shop at Boem in Charlotte, and they know trends. Take a look at their website to see lots of evil eye jewelry here. Their prices start at a very reasonable $15 for some eye stud earrings. Neiman Marcus also offers a selection of evil eye jewelry here. Neiman’s prices start at $98.

Sequin Brand Evil Eye Talisman Necklace, Neiman Marcus, $98
Eye huggie hoop earrings from Boem, $32

Camo accessories. Camo is still around, and it’s still popular! Frankly, I love camo, because I consider the green and tan shades of camo to be neutrals. But too much camo can be, well, too much. It’s best to stick with one camo item when you venture out…an accessory or one piece of apparel, but camo from head to toe is a NO. It’s easy to find accessories at a lot of different places. Forever21 has lots of accessories at really good prices. Urban Outfitters and Shopbop offer an assortment, as well. I’m not going to lie…I love the Forever 21 Velvet and Glitter Combat Boots. Here are some of my favorite picks:

And for a little more highbrow camo, there are these scarves (I love!) you can purchase from Burberry for $490 and $550, respectively, here:

Burberry, $490
Burberry, $550

Tory Burch Accessories. Ladies love Tory, and teens love some of their accessories too. This year, Tory Burch has introduced a new line of sterling silver Wishbone jewelry, and I think it’s very popular. My favorite of the Wishbone line is the bangle bracelet. Tory Burch also offers some great wristlets, mini bags, and wallets that make great gifts. See the full line of accessories Tory Burch offers here.

Tory Burch, Georgia Turn Lock Mini Bag, $298
Sterling Silver Wishbone Necklace, $128
Sterling Silver Wishbone Earrings, $148
Sterling Silver Wishbone Bangle, $298

Rebecca Minkoff Beanies. Sure, there are lines that are more high-end. There are lines that turn heads. I have been a fan of Rebecca Minkoff handbags for a few years, and this year, I’ve become a fan of the beanies. The blocked yarn slouchy beanie hat is my new favorite. Perfect for cold weather, they’re also cute and come in cute colors. Get them for $38 at Neimanmarcus.com here.

 

Ugg Coquette Slippers. I know slippers 5125-BDC_2
sound cliché, but who buys slippers for themselves? These pretty slip-ons with a lightweight sole come in an array of colors,  my favorite being a color they call Bodacious. And of course they’re comfortable…they’re Uggs! With a their lightweight, durable sole, they are super soft, and perfect for indoors or even outdoors. Priced at $120, purchase straight from Ugg.com here or through Amazon.com here.

I think there’s something in this list for every woman. And if you can’t pick just one, pick more than one! Having trouble deciding? Maybe give her the whole list! I hope my husband reads this!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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by Kelly Mattei

Wear Your Shiny Shoes

Last year, I purchased two pairs of shiny shoes. They were on sale, and I needed a little retail therapy. When I say shiny shoes, I don’t mean patent leather…I mean really shiny, as in glitter. One pair is gold, and the other is silver.

When I first got them, I thought I needed to save them for evening outings. Shiny = evening or special occasion. Nope. Nope. Nope. Shiny is not just for evening anymore!

After I’d had the shiny shoes for a while, I decided they would look cute with jeans, so I started wearing them in the daytime with my regular old jeans, on regular old days.

The first time I wore them with jeans during the day, I wore the gold ones. I walked into a local restaurant and a lady standing nearby said, “Oh! I love the shoes! Is it your birthday?” What?!? It wasn’t my birthday. It was just a regular lunch outing with a friend. I know you want to know how I responded.

“No, it’s not my birthday, but I’m sure it’s someone’s birthday somewhere!” I didn’t say it like a smarty pants. I said it sincerely, with a big smile on my face, and she laughed and nodded approval.

And that’s the truth. I wear my shiny shoes in celebration of regular days that are someone’s birthday somewhere. I wear my shiny shoes to celebrate the fact that I woke up that day. I wear my shiny shoes, because they make me happy. Sometimes, I wear them if I’m feeling down, so I can look at my feet and smile.

Once, as I was going through the TSA Pre-Check line at Charlotte-Douglas International Airport, a sweet TSA agent approached me, and I asked her if I was next. She said, “Yes, you are! In fact, girl, you are wearing your pre-check shoes! I love them!” I told her the shoes make me feel a little happier, and she replied that I had just made her day with my shoes!

I also wear my shiny shoes because they are comfortable. They are a mid-heel loafer-style shoe, so they give me the three-inch heel I need with the comfort of a loafer. Frankly, I think they look good with almost anything…except shorts and t-shirts. I’ve worn them with dresses, jeans and sweaters, and I’ve even run about a mile in them to meet a car that was waiting to take me from the Forum in Inglewood, California, to meet a friend for dinner in Marina Del Rey. And she loved the shoes too.

The moral of the story is…wear what makes you feel good. You don’t have to wait for a special occasion to wear your shiny shoes or your fancy dress! Make every day a celebration!

I’m planning to meet a friend later in the week, and I’ll be wearing my shiny shoes and ordering champagne at lunch.

Celebrate life! Wear your shiny shoes!

***Shiny shoes make great holiday gifts! NORDSTROM has a great selection of “shiny shoes” for women in a wide range of prices. Check out these shoes they offer:

Sam Edelman Lior Loafer, on sale for $83.96 (regularly $199.95)63505028-5321-477f-bfc3-5e687ef130f3.jpeg Click here.

 

 

 

Keds for Kate Spade, various styles, $90. Click here.

Keds for Kate Spade, $90

 

J Crew Maya Ankle Bootie, $178. Click here.9975f061-d710-4cc7-8ac9-d2991a1f3975

 

UGG Classic Glitter Patchwork Bootie, $189. Click here.

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P448 John Sneaker for Women, $235-$280, various colors. Click here.

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Golden Goose Deluxe Brand, Midstar Glitter Sneaker, $550. Click here.

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by Kelly Mattei

My Favorite Holiday Gifts, Part 1: Books

Christmas is two months away. I know! I know…it’s early to be thinking about it, but there was a time in life I had all my shopping done by the end of October. Those days are behind me, I’m afraid. I haven’t purchased the first gift this year. I have, however, been looking at possible gifts for a few months, and I’ve talked with friends and family about gift ideas. Because I’ve found so many awesome things, I’ve broken them into categories that I will feature over the next week or two: Books, Apparel, Accessories, Home, Travel, Men, and Stocking Stuffers…and maybe Kids & Teens. Today is BOOKS. These are nonfiction, with the exception of one, a collection of fiction short stories. I find it’s more difficult to gift fiction than nonfiction, but I have listed some popular authors’ recent fiction releases at the bottom, in case you have a friend or family member who is a fan of a particular author. I’ve read a few of these selections, but some were recommended by friends. Without further ado, here are some books, in no particular order, I think would make great gifts:

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Whiskey in a Teacup by Reese Witherspoon. If you were lucky enough to see her when she visited Charlotte last month promoting her book, you know Ms. Witherspoon is truly southern and truly adorable. This lovely book contains some of her southern grandmother’s recipes, and some great stories behind them. She includes party hosting tips, book club info, “do gooding” info, and more. Plus, the cover looks really pretty on a coffee table! Great for friends or sisters! Purchase through Amazon.com here.

order-book-tourHungry Girl Clean and Hungry Obsessed by Lisa Lillien. It’s no secret that I am a huge fan of the Hungry Girl brand. Lisa Lillien is the busiest woman I know, and she is always providing great info…by book, magazine, podcast, magazine, TV appearances, and website! And she’s really sweet too! If you need gifts for folks who want ways to cut the calories and fat in their lives, this is it. Purchase at Amazon.com here.

 bushtwavail.jpgGeorge and Barbara Bush: A Great American Love Story by Ellie LaBlond Sosa with Kelly Anne Chase. Through letters, photographs, and stories, Sosa tells the story of the enduring relationship of her grandparents, George and Barbara Bush. You can purchase on Amazon here, or *I received word that The Buttercup Gifts and Stationery in Charlotte will be hosting the author on Saturday, November 3, from 10:30am to 2:00pm for a book signing. Call The Buttercup for more information at 704-332-5329.*

510oZZ5X3DL._SX311_BO1,204,203,200_-2Sean of the South, Volume 1 by Sean Dietrich. Deitrich is a humorist, storyteller, and writer with roots in south Alabama and a connection to a small town where I once lived, Brewton. He is plain-spoken, funny, and if you grew up in the south, you will relate to his experiences. If you grew up elsewhere, you’ll enjoy his stories too. Raised mostly by a hard-working single mother, he shares stories of his life and people he meets along the way. My mother loved reading Sean Dietrich, and we often talked about his Facebook posts. He has several books. This one is the first collection of short stories, so it is not newly published, but it’s a good place to start reading his work. See all his books at Amazon.com here.

caddyshack-book-cover-1-1525443738Caddyshack: The Making of a Hollywood Cinderella Story by Chris Nashawaty. For those who were old enough to enjoy this movie in the theater or those who were too young and had to sneak to watch it on HBO, this book is a fun look behind the behind the scenes of the one of the most surprisingly beloved comedies of all time. Starring Rodney Dangerfield and Bill Murray, those of us who remember the film know it was comedic genius. And the candy bar will never be forgotten. I was in Target recently, and two young people ahead of me in line were discussing 1980s movies they wanted to see. I recommended a few, and Caddyshack was at the top of the list. Purchase from Amazon here.

sons-of-cain-1534874929Sons of Cain: A History of Serial Killers From The Stone Age To The Present by Peter Vronsky. This one was recommended by a friend who knows my fascination with serial killers. Having an interest in serial killers does not make me a serial killer.  According to my unnamed friend, the book is entertaining while examining the psychology behind serial killers and examining certain cases. She said the author includes too many statistics, but aside from that, she thoroughly enjoyed the book. It was released in August of this year. This one is on my short list for me, and I think my friend, Mary Ann, would like it too. Purchase from Amazon here.

NMHBQJZ_mzBruce W. Talamon Soul R&B Funk Photographs: 1972-1982. A collection of photographs by Bruce W. Talamon, this book features “legends such as Marvin Gaye, Earth, Wind & Fire, Stevie Wonder…” and more. For the music lover you know, this is a lovely gift that will likely bring back lots of memories or familiarize him/her with groups he/she has only heard and never seen. I’m getting one for my husband. Purchase at Neiman Marcus for $70 here.

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You Think It, I’ll Say It by Curtis Sittenfeld. Ms. Sittenfeld is a successful Charlotte author with whom I was not familiar until she interviewed Reese Witherspoon onstage last month. Though I haven’t read them yet, she has hit the bestseller lists with previous novels, including Prep and American Wife. My friends sing her praises. Her latest, You Think It, I’ll Say It, is described on her website: “With moving insight and uncanny precision, this first collection of short fiction pinpoints the questionable decisions, missed connections, and sometimes extraordinary coincidences that make up a life.” I can hardly wait to pick it up for some friends! Purchase all her novels and this new short story collection through her website here.

Road-Swing-By-Steve-Rushin
Road Swing by Steve Rushin. I spoke with a friend about what books he would recommend for sports lovers, and this one was the first one he mentioned. An obsessed sports fan takes a road trip through the United States visiting every major sports “shrine” and shares his insight. It will make any sports fan want to do the same road trip to the same epic places.  Perfect for the sports fan on your list…especially if he/she is a fan of road trips too! Purchase through Amazon here.

41f1eA1LEoL._SX329_BO1,204,203,200_Belichick: The Making of the Greatest Football Coach of All Time by Ian O’Connor. Even if you don’t like the New England Patriots. Even if you think Deflategate was a terrible football scandal. By all accounts, this in-depth look at the most successful football coach of all time is compelling. Dan Shaughnessy of the Boston Globe called it “a must-read for football buffs and anyone who appreciates leadership.” Purchase through Amazon here.

41EQr37Py+L._SX327_BO1,204,203,200_All The Way: My Life in Four Quarters by Joe Namath. Last but not least, the one I’m most looking forward to…this autobiography is actually not available yet, but you an preorder it on Amazon here. I’d be thrilled to receive a card at Christmas telling me I will be receiving this book as soon as it is released. Scheduled for release in May of 2019, this book is the football icon’s life in his own wordS. He has lived a life like no other, so I expect an exciting read. Honestly, I have to admit I don’t really care what it says…I love Joe Namath so much that I’d be happy just looking at photos of him. Till that book is released, you can gift Namath by Mark Kriegel, a biography of Broadway Joe that was released in 2005, which you can purchase here. 

POPULAR FICTION AUTHORS WITH NEW RELEASES:

Jodi Picoult, A Spark of Light: A Novel, purchase here.

Nicholas Sparks, Every Breath, purchase here.

Dorothea Benton Franks, By Invitation Only, purchase here.

John Grisham, The Reckoning, purchase here.

****Next time, more gift suggestions: ACCESSORIES.****

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by Kelly Mattei

Too Young To Be A Grandparent!

Last week, I attended a baby shower for the daughter of some friends. The daughter is my friend too. It was great fun…food,  family, friends. As I sat talking with folks at the shower, I looked around, and as I looked at my friends who were about to become grandparents, I thought, “They’re not old enough to be grandparents!” They’re still young, vibrant people! But they are old enough. In fact, their daughter is a full-fledged adult with a great job, married to a great guy, and they are both contributing to society and paying their own bills.

A few years ago, as my husband and I sat watching the Heisman Trophy Award Ceremony from our living room, we loved the interviews with each candidate. One candidate, Amari Cooper, was from the University of Alabama, my alma mater. They interviewed Cooper, and he told stories about this youth in Miami. And they interviewed his mother, a lovely lady.

When the interview with Cooper’s mom came on, my husband turned to me and said, “Wow! She looks really good for an older lady!” I agreed. And then I started doing the math. At the time, Cooper was likely about 20 years old.

After a minute or so, I said to my husband, “Amari’s mother probably isn’t an older lady.” He pointed out that Amari was about 20 years old, so she had to be older. That’s when I reminded him that we are older parents, but Amari’s mother was probably younger than we are. I don’t remember if I grabbed my laptop or if they told her age on the segment, but at some point, we learned her age was several years younger than ours…and she had a son who would soon be starting a career in the National Football League! That year, he didn’t win the Heisman Trophy, but Cooper was the fourth pick in the overall draft and signed a fat contract with the Oakland Raiders. *Just yesterday, Cooper was traded to the Dallas Cowboys in exchange for a first round draft pick.*

At the time of that Heisman ceremony, I was 47 years old and had an 11-yr-old daughter. My husband was 48. Because most of our friends who have kids the same age are about the same ages we are, we fell into believing everyone is that way. We lost sight of the fact that most people who have 11-yr-olds are younger than we are. According to this article in Allure magazine, the average age of a first time mother in the US is 28, considerably younger than I was when I gave birth at 36.

So our friends who have now become grandparents since that shower are old enough to be grandparents.  We just have a skewed view…thinking parents of grown children have to be older than we are. We are plenty old enough to have grandchildren. In fact, the average age of a first-time grandparent in the United States is 48. If I’d had a child when I was 25, and if that child had a child at 25, then I would be a grandmother right now…and I’d fit right in with societal norms.Since we were later than average having children, we are later than average having grandchildren, and we don’t plan to have them for at least ten more years. If our daughter is as old as I was when she was born, I won’t be a grandmother till I’m 72 years old. And that’s OK too.

Back in 2003, our friends were having babies in their late 30s, so we started thinking everyone was having babies in their mid to late 30s. Those same friends who were “late bloomer” parents are likely to be “late bloomer” grandparents too, so we will be in good company. We don’t fit into societal norms for the age of first-time grandparents, but we fit in with our societal norms, since lots of our friends are the same age we are.

The point? Any age is OK to be a grandparent! When you become a grandparent, you’re just happy to have a new grandbaby! If you need ideas for baby gifts for someone who’s having a baby, here are some ideas I talked about earlier this year.

We’re lucky to have these younger friends who have just become grandparents, and we’re lucky to know their daughter too. They bring joy to our family, and I’m not gonna lie…the new grandmother can cook!

Congratulations to our young friends on the new granddaughter!

***Our friends’ granddaughter was born on October 15 and weighed 4 pounds, 10 ounces!***

 

 

 

 

 

by Kelly Mattei

I Want Candy…My Favorites

I love candy. I love chocolate candy and sour candy. I love all kinds of candy…always have. In fact, when I was a kid, I loved candy so much that I actually tried to get the answer to the commercial question, “How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?”

When I was a kid living in Brewton, Alabama, Daddy took us to the “candy store,” which was really a locally owned convenience store called Murphy’s, every Saturday. He would give us our allowance, and we would go blow it on candy and Icees. I always got a Coke Icee at Murphy’s. We got $5 allowance. Back then, $5 would buy a lot of candy, but I never actually spent my whole allowance. I usually put back a dollar or two, but I could still buy lots of candy and save too. I also stashed candy in hiding places in my room, but my brother usually found it and secretly ate it bit by bit.

Later, after moving to Spanish Fort, we would walk to the TG&Y in the local shopping center to buy candy. Instead of Icees there, we got bottled soda…in real glass bottles. My personal favorites were RC Cola, Dr. Pepper, and Coca-Cola in the little bottle, what we called a “baby Coke.”

I have favorites. As a child, I would always pick some favorites: Tootsie Pops, Spree, Pixie Stix, Zotz, Bottle Caps, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Fun Dip, SkyBar, M&Ms, Blow Pops,  and sometimes, a Hershey Bar…without almonds. I also loved Sugar Babies, Sugar Daddy, Necco Wafers and Marathon Bars. (They don’t make Marathon Bars anymore, but Cadbury makes a similar bar of braided caramel covered in chocolate called the Curly Wurly.) Good times. In addition to candy, I would top off my purchase with some Hostess Chocolate Cream-filled Cupcakes. *Necco Wafers and SkyBar were made by New England Confectionery Company, which went bankrupt and is now owned by Spangler Candy Company. The future of some products is unknown. I’m stocking up on SkyBar now.*

Obviously, our candy intake was never restricted. My parents thought candy was one of the small joys in life, and I feel the same way. Before my daughter was born, a neighbor told me the kids she knew who couldn’t have candy at home went crazy eating it at her house, so we always have it, and our daughter doesn’t go crazy over it. We have a designated candy drawer in the kitchen. Need a little pick me up? Grab something from the drawer.

My daughter’s candy intake has never been limited. When we visit different cities, we love to visit any candy store we hear about. Dylan’s Candy Bar is a favorite in various cities. The last two times we’ve gone to LA, we visited Candytopia, a candy museum. It was a temporary popup, but now it’s in New York and San Francisco. As we entered each room, we got different kinds of candy: Pixie Stix, Tootsie Pops, candy necklaces, and more! Plus, there were sculptures and portraits made entirely of candy! My favorite part: a giant marshmallow pit! Great photo ops!

I still love candy.  I now love Snickers bars in addition to all my old favorites. I can’t resist purchasing some of the more rare ones when I see them.

I’m placing an order for some Curly Wurly Bars from Amazon now. All the candies I’ve listed above are available from Amazon.com. I want candy!

***If you were a teen in the 1980s, you probably remember a song called I Want Candy by the group, Bow Wow Wow. It was a remake of a 60s song by The Strangeloves. Bow Wow Wow trivia: Boy George was an early member of the group before forming Culture Club. You can see the Bow Wow Wow video here.***

by Kelly Mattei

We Survived Homecoming

After all the dress shopping, shoe shopping, and planning, Homecoming 2018 is officially over at our daughter’s school.

My mom friends have been posting photos on social media since the big night, and I love that every girl has her own style. I also love that the students go in groups.

At our school, the Friday of the Homecoming football game, there is a pep rally at the end of the school day, followed by the game that night. The Homecoming Dance is Saturday night. I can’t speak for everyone else, but before the dance, our daughter’s group went to dinner…26 kids total…at the home of one of the boys. It was fabulous! I know, because all the parents went over to take photos, and the hostess even had a lovely spread for us!

Now, here’s the skinny for parents of young daughters who will be going to a Homecoming Dance one day in the near future: that dress you had altered? You know, the one that had to be hemmed and taken in at the waist? You know, the dress that cost less than the alterations? She might not wear it. She might decide two hours before the dance that she wants to wear a different dress that you didn’t take for alterations, so she will need to be pinned into it. If you are lucky, like I was, she will get dressed at the home of one of her friends, and the friend’s mother will graciously do the pinning. I wasn’t there for it, but I’m hoping my daughter didn’t make it difficult, like she would have done for me! Here’s the great thing, though…she also wore some shoes she already had, so I get to return the new shoes she didn’t wear…money back in my pocket!

Girls wore all kinds of different dresses, each expressing her own personality…all colors, all silhouettes, and all lengths. It would be interesting to add up the total number of hours it takes to outfit a girl for the dance. We probably spent four hours shopping online. She then had to try on dresses…another three hours. Online shoe shopping plus in-store shoe shopping…three hours. Getting hair and makeup done and getting pinned into dress…2.5 hours. Add another hour for the time I spent getting two dresses altered that she didn’t wear. Grand total? It comes to 13.5 hours of my time, but probably more of hers, because I feel sure she tried on dresses in her room repeatedly…I’ll say 15 total hours. That’s a lot.chuttersnap-514371-unsplash

Parents of boys have it a lot easier with attire…khaki pants, collared shirt, tie (bowtie or regular), blazer, and shoes. It’s like the man uniform. I noticed while we were taking photos, though, that the mothers were all writing their sons’ names on pieces of paper and having them put them in their blazer pockets. Since the blazers all look alike, that’s a good way to make sure the they go home with the right person. So if your son hasn’t gone to the dance yet this year, go ahead and put his name in his coat pocket.

But for Homecoming, the boys who take dates have to make the plans. They figure out dinner arrangements, and they assemble the group. That’s not easy, but the boys, with the help of some hardworking mothers, pull it off.

Here’s another great thing: some kids go with dates, and some don’t…and it doesn’t matter. Most of them do, however, find a group, large or small, to go to the dance with. There is no right or wrong way to go to the dance…just go! And have fun!

After the dance, some moms very graciously took our group to iHop. It takes a lot of people to pull off all this fun for kids, and our kids are very fortunate to have parents who are willing and able to do it.

My daughter had a lovely time with her date, who is a great friend and perfect gentleman (I’ve always thought he’s a wonderful person). Together, they had fun with each other and their classmates.

Now we can start planning for the Sadie Hawkins Dance in February, when the girls invite boys! Ugh…what will she wear?!?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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by Kelly Mattei

Be Vulnerable: Is Friendship Worth It?

Life’s not easy. No one ever said it would be. It’s something we should know as adults, but we never learn.

Friendships aren’t always easy, either. Yes, there are times friendships are easy, but there are times they are difficult…hanging by a thread. Because I have a teenage daughter, I spend a lot of time discussing friendships, forgiveness, trust, and communication. But frankly, I’m still learning myself, so I don’t always give sound advice. We all make mistakes in friendships, even as adults, and we all have friends who make mistakes, even as adults.

We’ve all had times in relationships that we realized we needed to “fish or cut bait,” haven’t we? Aren’t there times you step back when a situation arises and think, “Maybe I don’t need to continue this friendship.” When I’ve felt that way, I try to take a deep breath and think logically…evaluate the situation without emotion.

But that’s easier said than done, because friendships are emotional connections. Just like marriage, friendship requires trust.. And just like marriages, friendships can fall apart. Unfortunately, just like marriages, going into them, we don’t know which ones will last and which ones won’t. A friend posted this on Instagram earlier this week:

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How true are those words of C.S. Lewis? We can’t be hurt emotionally by people to whom we don’t have an emotional connection. If you accidentally cut someone off in traffic, making them angry, do you worry about it for days to come? Likely not. But if you accidentally offend a longtime friend, do you worry about it for days to come? Probably. At least, you should, if you care about the person.

Likewise, if someone who is not your friend tells you a lie, do you care? Unless it’s going to affect something, probably not. If your friend tells you a lie, do you care? Yes. You do. And it’s all because you’ve made yourself vulnerable to that person by letting him/her into your life…trusting them. And that’s when you have to decide what to do. Do you confront them about it? Do you chalk it up to a mistake and let it go? Do you silently harbor ill feelings? Do you walk away from the friendship? It’s difficult. Because you’ve made yourself vulnerable, that hurt cuts a little deeper.

But, as C.S. Lewis says, if you want to keep your heart “intact,” you have to lock it up, don’t risk it by loving anyone. To have love of any kind is to have occasional pain, but the real friendships last…after forgiveness is sought. At the same time, we have to give those very friends the benefit of the doubt until we have reason to believe otherwise. Maybe your friend didn’t hurt you intentionally. Injury without malice, in friendships, should be forgiven. Injury with malice, in friendships, should be forgiven, as well…to free yourself from the burden of anger. I’ve written about forgiveness before. You can read it here.

I cannot imagine my own life without friendships. Sure, there have been friendships that have fallen by the wayside. It’s the way life is. Some of them fall away accidentally…you don’t know the last time you talked, and you didn’t realize at the time it would be the last time you would talk. Sometimes, there’s an argument or disagreement that ends a friendship. Other friendships, we choose to end, for one reason or another. Maybe you feel you’ve been taken for granted. Maybe the other person feels manipulated. Maybe you disagree all the time, and it has become tiresome. It happens, and when it has happened to me, I’ve chosen to believe I’ve learned from each instance.

But here’s one thing: if your heart gets broken, get up, and try again. Making yourself vulnerable is difficult and scary, but if you don’t, you won’t know what it’s like to have real friends. And remember, everyone isn’t going to like you. It’s a fact. And once you are OK with that, life gets a lot easier.

Is friendship worth the risk of heartache? You bet. For every disappointment, heartache, and sorrowful moment involved in friendship, there will be countless more good times.

To love is to be vulnerable. Be vulnerable.

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Photo by Dennis Magati on Pexels.com

by Kelly Mattei

A Wilderness Life Skill for Girls

Guys have it made when they’re stuck outside with no bathroom. On camping trips or hiking trips, they just walk over to a private place in the woods and do their thing. It’s not so easy for girls. First of all, there’s no way for a girl to make her bladder gladder without actually exposing herself. Well, there is a product out there called Go Girl that helps, but it takes a little practice at home before trying to use it in the wilderness. You can see it here. It really does work and makes going outside much easier. I know, because my sister-in-law gave me one for Christmas. Do you camp? Do you fish? Do you ever find yourself needing to “go” when you’re hiking? I don’t. I don’t camp. I really don’t, but there were times in life I needed wilderness relief. Therefore, I know the importance of carrying the Go Girl with me.

When I was a little girl, my friend, Allyson, who lived down the street, had two older siblings…a sister in the high school band, and a brother on the football team. Allyson’s mother took us to games, and what fun it was! To a little girl in a small town in the south, a high school football game is a big deal!

Allyson’s mother volunteered in the concession stand sometimes, and on those nights, Allyson and I waited for her to close up shop. It probably didn’t take long, and we were happy to get to keep playing together, but on those nights, we were the last ones out.  One night when I was probably six or seven, while we waited for her to close up the concession stand, I knew I needed to pee…I was in a bind. The field lights had all been turned off, except at the concession stand. I told Allyson’s mother I needed to go to the bathroom, but she laughed and told me the bathrooms were locked. Eek. Her mom was (and still is, I’m sure) a sweet lady…not all stuffy and formal, so she gave me an alternative: “Nobody’s here but us. Just go around the stands where it’s dark and tee-tee in the grass.”

I’m sure I looked at her wide-eyed, and said, “I’ve never done that outside.” With a little encouragement from her that I would be able to pull it off, Allyson and I set off into the darkness. We walked around the bleachers, but not too far because we were a little scared. I remember vividly that I was wearing my very favorite little navy, sailor-style skort with white, anchor-embellished, decorative buttons on the front. I went behind the bleachers, pulled down my little sailor-style skort, and tinkled…all over the back of my favorite little sailor-style skort, but I didn’t know till I pulled it up. I had discovered what many women have known for years: it’s not that easy to pee outside. It was my last attempt for many years. When it was time to drive home, I had to stand up in the backseat of the Buick. I couldn’t sit on the seat…I would have gotten it wet. And since there were no seatbelt laws in the mid-70s, standing up while the car was moving was not unusual.

Years later, I attempted wilderness relief again…desperate times call for desperate measures. I was in my twenties and had walked down to a river with some friends. Realizing I wouldn’t be able to wait till we got back into town for the bathroom, I went behind a tree down by the water. This time, I was old enough to understand how to do it correctly. It’s all about balance…no big deal, right? Right…except for the boat that came around the bend just as I got started. They got a look at that full moon, and they honked and waved. I was past the point of no return at that point so all I could do was continue and give a big wave…and laugh. But I didn’t wet my shorts.

Wilderness relief is a life skill. For whatever reason, my mother didn’t teach me that one. It’s likely she tried and I flat refused. I’ve always been a little stubborn. But when I became a mother, I knew my daughter needed that life skill. I taught her the skill of wilderness relief when she was about two…in the Nordstrom parking deck at SouthPark Mall in Charlotte. I don’t know that you could call it wilderness. She was potty-training, so we had visited every ladies room in the mall, and I made sure she went in the last one before we walked to our car. As soon as we arrived at the car, she said, “I need to tee-tee.” I didn’t have the time, patience, or energy to go back into Nordstrom, so I said, “Well, you need to learn how to do it outside.” And right there, in the Nordstrom parking deck, between two parked cars, she learned about wilderness relief. It has come in handy over the years when she has had sports practice at fields where the bathrooms were locked.

I hope it’s a skill she will pass on to her daughter one day…just so she won’t mess up her favorite little, sailor-style skort.

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by Kelly Mattei

Watch Ol’ Bandit Run

Growing up in the seventies, I loved Burt Reynolds, so when I heard he had died last week, my heart broke a little. Even as a little girl, I knew a good-looking man with a good sense of humor when I saw one. He was one of those men about whom you could say, “Women wanted him, and men wanted to be him.”

Just last year, for my fiftieth birthday, some friends took me to see Smokey and the Bandit on the big screen, for its 40th anniversary release. It was originally released on my tenth birthday in 1977. I thought it was hilarious then, and I thought Burt Reynolds was the man. Seeing the movie at 50 is different than seeing it at 10. Most of the innuendoes went way over my head back then, but I picked up on them in 2017…making it even funnier. But one thing didn’t change…at 50, I still thought Burt was the man. And did I mention he was easy on the eyes? Sure, his pants were tight, but he was smokin’ hot. He was also actually smoking cigarettes in the movie. If Smokey and the Bandit were made today, he wouldn’t be smoking. We made the movie’s 40th anniversary an event. I printed t-shirts for me and my friends, and one friend smuggled in Dr. Peppers, since that’s the beverage of choice in at least one scene. We didn’t smoke, and we didn’t eat any Diablo sandwiches, but we had a great time laughing and swooning over Burt. If you’ve never seen it, you can watch it on Amazon Prime here.

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Who didn’t love seeing Burt Reynolds and Sally Field together? They were both attractive, and the chemistry was real. Sally was adorable in the films they made together, and Burt, well…he was smokin’ hot. Any time he winked at the camera, women swooned, and men laughed. The man had swagger. Even when I was 10 years old, I knew he was special.

Because the local movie theater was my babysitter as a child, I saw lots of Burt Reynolds movies with my brother, including W. W. and the Dixie Dancekings, Gator, and Smokey and the Bandit. Later, I watched more of his movies on cable…the movies that had been rated R when I was too young to see them. I saw Deliverance for the first time when I was in college, and it made a lasting impression. I also loved him as Wood Newton in the television show, Evening Shade. But looking over his filmography on imdb.com (see it here), I see there are lots of his movies I haven’t seen yet. I’ll need to find them on Amazon.

My parents were big fans of The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, and any time I got to stay up and watch it with them, it was a treat. They especially loved when Burt Reynolds was on; I think he was one of Johnny’s favorite guests too. Burt was an easy guest…he was self-deprecating, funny, and he had lots of good one-liners. Did I mention he was easy on the eyes?

Lots of my family loved him, because he went to Florida State University. Several family members went to college there, so they always felt Burt was one of their own. He played football at FSU, but an injury in his sophomore year put a halt to his football career. He was probably devastated at the time, but I’m thankful. If he had been a professional football player, I likely would never have known of him. His football career likely would have fizzled out before I was born, and he never would have graced the big screen.

By all accounts, except maybe Loni Anderson’s, Burt was a great guy. My friend, Linda, worked for Burt at his dinner theater in Florida, and she has always told me what a great person he was…kind and caring. She wrote a tribute to him on her facebook page; it’s a glimpse into who Burt really was. To see it, click here.

I’m thinking this weekend, while Hurricane Florence is blowing through (we hope we are just on the outer bands of the storm), I’ll have to watch Smokey and the Bandit again, just to see Burt in his prime. Maybe I’ll watch the only movie for which he was nominated for an Academy Award, Boogie Nights. It’s from later in his career, and I’ve never seen it. And I want to see The Last Movie Star, his last movie. About it, imdb.com says, “An aging former movie star is forced to face the reality that his glory days are behind him. On its surface, the film is a tale about faded fame. At its core, it’s a universal story about growing old.” I will definitely watch that on Amazon, which you can do by clicking here.

Burt Reynolds was like the Energizer bunny…he kept going and going…till last week. There aren’t many stars who stick out in my mind as lifelong favorites, but Burt does.

I was happy to see the FSU football team memorialize him in their game last week with helmet decals featuring “BAN ONE” and his signature, a nod to Burt and the license plate on the Trans Am he drove in Smokey and the Bandit.

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Watch ol’ Bandit run.

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by Kelly Mattei

Shopping For Homecoming Dresses

***I wrote this blog in early September 2018, but I know some of you have Sadie Hawkins Dances in the next month or two, so I wanted to share again.***

School has started, and for many students, that means Homecoming is coming up.

My daughter is in ninth grade, so it’s the first year she can go to the Homecoming Dance. This year, at her school, the dance is early, September 22, so the rush is on to find the dress. Shopping is fun. Shopping with a teenage girl is not. It’s torture. We rarely agree on a dress. I don’t want her to get something too short, too low-cut, too cheap, too cheap looking, or too…anything else. The struggle is real.

Homecoming has morphed over the years. When I was growing up, if a boy asked someone to Homecoming, he might call on the landline, or he might approach a girl at her locker saying, “Hey…would you go to Homecoming with me?” No one else heard it or saw it. Now, it’s quite a show. Signs are made. Baked goods are purchased. And when the young man invites the girl (or vice versa or whatever), he presents his sign, baked goods, or candy. It’s quite a display. My daughter would kill me if I used the picture of her cute Homecoming proposal (and it was cute!) in my blog, so here’s one example:

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Another thing that’s different? Back in the day, we wore gigantic Homecoming Mums…Chrysanthemums. Our school colors were black and gold, so we wore gigantic yellow chrysanthemum corsages with black and yellow ribbons, and black pipe cleaner lettering on top of the mums. They were big and weighty. They were pretty, no doubt, but times have changed.

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This photo illustrates the size of the Chrysanthemum corsages we wore in the 80s…almost as big as a human head.

We also had our dance immediately after the game. Now, our school’s Homecoming Dance is not right after the game. The game is Friday, and the dance is Saturday night, so the kids often go to dinner and take photos with dates or friends before going to the dance.

With the dance three weeks away, she needs a new dress. Please pray for me. I am bracing for what lies ahead. And it’s not just the dress…it’s the shoes too. It’s difficult to communicate to a 14-yr-old that “just because you can walk really well in six inch heels doesn’t mean you should wear them.” This year, I’m going to use athletics against her. She is playing on the school field hockey team, so I will say, “If you wear tall heels to the dance and twist your ankle, you won’t be able to play field hockey.” That should do it. We find our currency where we can.

Because I am beginning the dress search, I have found some places, in different price ranges, to look. Most have something on the lower end of the price scale, because who wants to spend a fortune on something their daughter will likely wear once? I love a good deal. I’m listing them in random order:

BOEM One place my daughter and her friends love to shop is Boem, a boutique located in Morrison Place, at the corner of Sharon Road and Colony Road. They also have a website from which you can order. Dress prices range from $15 to just over $200. If you’re unable to go into the store, you can shop online with them here.

LULU’S Last year, someone told me about lulus.com. Hoping to find a Homecoming dress for your daughter without breaking the bank? This could be the answer. Dresses start at $12. To go to lulus.com, click here.

KK BLOOM Another boutique in Charlotte that’s popular with teens is KK Bloom, located at 2823 Selwyn Avenue. They also have a website, which can be accessed by clicking here. Prices range from $20 to about $200.

REVOLVE I’ve shopped Revolve.com for years. Remarkably, it’s one of those sites where I can find stuff for me and my daughter. In fact, I bought the dress she wore to Homecoming from Revolve. They have a great free return policy, and they have a great selection. See the website here.

SHOPBOP This website has it all. Prices start about about $50 and go up from there. I could spend hours perusing the site, and my daughter could too. They also offer free shipping and free returns. You can see the website here.

NORDSTROM Nordstrom is a go-to for teens in Charlotte. They have lots of inexpensive offerings in store and online. In Charlotte, the store is located in SouthPark Mall, but you can shop online here.

IVY AND LEO Another locally-owned boutique that’s popular with teens is Ivy and Leo. There are multiple locations in Charlotte and all over the Carolinas. Most dresses are priced around $50, and they’re having a Labor Day Sale! See their website here.

SCOUT AND MOLLY This great franchise boutique has two locations in Charlotte and lots more all over the country. They have fashion for a wide range of ages, and my daughter has found some things she loves there. In fact, during the holidays, we shopped the one in Shops on the Park with a friend and her daughter, and the daughter found a dress there for an event at her school in Ohio. See the websitehere.

Hopefully, your Homecoming shopping experience will be pleasant. My pulse rate goes up just thinking about it. If we find something at the last minute that needs alterations, it will be too late to get it done professionally. I’ve been known to alter it myself…and pray it holds up throughout the time she’s wearing it!

Happy HoCo!