Category / motherhood

by Kelly Mattei

Westmore Beauty Body Coverage Perfector Review

Two words: LOVE IT!

I tried the Westmore Beauty Body Coverage Perfector today on my shins and on my arms. Actually, on just one shin, because I wanted to see the difference. I love it! When my 21-yr-old daughter came in this afternoon, I asked her which leg looked better, and she immediately pointed to the one with the Westmore Beauty Body Coverage Perfector!

At 58, I have those little white spot on my legs…the ones where the pigment seems to have magically vanished. It makes for a much less smooth appearance. The leg with the perfector looks much better than the other.

To test it, I applied it before going outside in 98° heat to water my plants. Then I got in the pool. When I got out…the Perfector was still on the leg! Y’all, I love this stuff. The tube I have is 3.5 ounces, but I just ordered the 7-oz tube from Amazon.

Highly recommend! Order it here.

Also, here are pics of my legs…one outdoors and one indoors. You can see the difference. Is it perfect? No, but I only applied a very light coat. Might do more tomorrow. Yes, the leg on the right in each pic is the “perfected” one.

by Kelly Mattei

What to Purchase Now for a Dorm Room

What to purchase now for a dorm room.

My daughter just finished her junior year of college.. It’s hard for me to believe she is 3/4 of the way through college. I remember my own college days so well; I’m so happy she is getting to go to the same awesome university and have her own experiences. We feel pretty seasoned now that she has survived three years. So while I’m thinking about it, and since you have time to prepare now, I’m going to make some suggestions on necessities. Seriously, I know graduation festivities (ugh) are upon you, but start purchasing and ordering now, and you’ll have less to do as your college freshman’s departure approaches. You can also spread out the expenses over the next few months instead of being slapped in the face with big credit card bills at dorm move-in time. These are just a few items I recommend purchasing early, before everyone else jumps in, making them difficult to find.

Mattress Topper. I never met a dorm mattress I liked. Goodness. One would think they could find a way to improve those things. I was a freshman in 1985, and I daresay my daughter’s freshman dorm mattress was no more comfortable than the one I had way back when. We knew that would be the case, so we invested in a quality mattress topper. There are lots of them out there, but we opted for the Sleepyhead brand. Our daughter’s dorm room has a twin XL bed, so we ordered the Twin XL 3″ Topper from Sleepyhead. She loves it. Priced at over $300, it’s not cheap, but right now, they are offering a $70 coupon. It’s probably some of the best money I’ve ever spent. Our daughter used hers freshman year in the dorm and sophomore year in the sorority house. She loved sleeping in her bed, calling it “cozy and comfy.” She got two full years of use out of it. She moved into an apartment with a queen bed last year, so she can’t use the topper again, but we purchased Sleepyhead topper for her queen bed. Check out Sleepyhead on Amazon here. ***Keep it in the box until you get to the dorm room!***

Stand-up Steamer. I think people thought I was crazy when I told them I was getting our daughter a stand-up steamer to take to college with her, but it is one thing that definitely got used…and it’s so much easier than ironing! Plus, a stand-up steamer won’t “walk away” to someone else’s dorm room, never to be seen again! Our daughter participated in sorority recruitment as soon as she arrived at school, so I knew she would need to steam out her dresses before she wore them. We couldn’t have her showing up all wrinkled! She tells me she has used it countless times throughout the year for steaming formal dresses, cocktail dresses, and anything else that was overly wrinkled. We opted for the a Rowenta model. You can see it and purchase it on Amazon here. If you want to purchase a handheld steamer instead, I highly recommend one from Rowenta you can purchase here.

Bankers Box Smooth Move Wardrobe Boxes. These stand-up boxes are more for the move-in, but they were big helps with our daughter’s hanging garments. They have a bar across the top on which to hang the clothes, and they hold a lot of clothes. We only used one, and our daughter took a lot of clothes with her. When we arrived in the dorm, we simply lifted the hangers off the bar and moved them straight to the closet bar…super easy. For about $44, you’ll get three bankers boxes. We gave one to a friend who was going off to college too, and saved the third one…might use it for move-out. You can purchase here.

Swiffer Sweeper 2-in-1 Mop. I don’t know how often this item has been used, but if they can’t really clean the floor without it. At least give them a fighting chance at having a “clean-ish” floor. Plus, you will want to run it through the room before you set everything up. Just get it. It will make you feel better knowing your child can mop the floor if he/she chooses or needs to! Get it from Amazon here.

Velvet Hangers. I know how easy it is for a college student on the go to grab a shirt and just snatch it off the hanger on the way to class. Hangers go flying, and other items fall to the bottom of the closet. That doesn’t happen with velvet hangers. They have added a lot of organization to my own closet. I purchase Zober non-slip Velvet Hangers in Ivory. Just trust me on this one. Shirts don’t get horns in the shoulders. Dresses hang nicely and don’t fall off the hanger and into the floor. Get them at Amazon here. You’ll think you won’t need many, but start with 200.

And I’m going to repeat some move-in essentials from a piece I wrote recently:

Hulken Bag. I ordered two. My daughter has one at college, and I have one at home, but I will take mine down with me when we move her out. They simply make moving lots of items easier. We got large ones. Get them here.

Moving Bags. These are similar to the Ikea moving bags, but I ordered from Amazon, because I thought these were a little bigger and sturdier. They worked great for move-in, and I expect them to work great for move-out too! Get them here. (Keep in mind: these sell out during summer, as families stock up on them, so get yours early.)

Collapsible Wagon. We got one of these for our daughter when she was returning to college after the holidays. It was an easy way for her to get everything from the parking garage to her room. Get it here.

Versacart. This is one my aunt told me about, and it’s awesome! She calls it her “old lady cart,” but it does the job! She uses it to bring in groceries or any packages from her car. Get it here.

Stick with me, moms of future college students, and I’ll provide you with all sorts of helpful ideas over the next few months. Start shopping now! And please use my links above to purchase! *I may be compensated for some of the items I suggest, but I wouldn’t suggest them if I didn’t believe in them!

***Featured photo from sleepyheadusa.com

by Kelly Mattei

The Best Pill Bottle Organizer for Travel and Home

The best pill bottle organizer for travel and home (and it makes a great graduation gift!).

This week, I found the best pill bottle organizer bag for home and travel! I know there are lots of people who don’t have any regular prescriptions, but a pill bottle organizer bag is great for essential over-the-counter meds too! Just recently, at spring break, my college-age daughter found herself feeling ill, but she had not taken any pain or nausea medications with her! I couldn’t believe she was traveling without essentials like her Zofran prescription, but she was. That’s when I first thought about a pill bottle organizer…one for her and one for me. Anyone who is a mom knows it’s always up to us to provide the meds for our families at home and when traveling.

For years, I have carried all those pill bottles (my prescriptions and over-the-counter meds) in a gallon-sized Ziploc bag. I always put that big Ziploc bag in my carry-on bag when I travel, because who wants an airline losing their medications?! On a recent trip, though, I realized that’s probably not the best way to carry my meds and vitamins. I was at a hotel, and one of my prescriptions had fallen out of the Ziploc bag into my carry-on bag. I panicked when I didn’t see it in the Ziploc, but I found it when I looked in my carry-on, and I realized I must have left an opening in the Ziploc in my haste. I needed to do something different.

When I returned home, I went online to Amazon to look for a pill bottle organizer bag. In fact, I wish I had thought of this sooner for me and my daughter! It would make a great graduation gift! I know young ladies don’t think they need to carry medications with them, but they do need to carry the essentials when they travel, and they need to have them in their dorm rooms and apartments! I wanted something soft that had slots for medications but wouldn’t take up too much room in my carry-on bag. Of course, Amazon had exactly what I needed! In fact, I have already put my medications in it, so I’m ready for a trip! I’m leaving the meds in the organizer all the time, so I can use it at home and just zip it closed when it’s time to travel.

You can see the one I purchased here, and I highly recommend it! It’s soft-sided, and it won’t take up a lot of room in my carry-on bag, but it has plenty of room for my essential meds and extras like Tylenol, Advil, nausea meds, vitamins, seasonal allergy meds, eye drops, and more. Yes, I actually carry anything I can think of, because who wants to try to find a pharmacy when you’re traveling? I like to try to have everything on hand. This particular “organizer” comes in two colors: Misty Rose and Black. I opted for the Misty Rose, because in a dark carry-on, it’s easier for my 57-yr-old eyes to see something lighter.

I like using it at home, and I am leaving town tomorrow, so it will be my first trip with my new pill organizer!


I highly recommend purchasing this pill bottle organizer here for yourself and anyone on your list for graduation gifts! At under $30, it’s a deal! To give it to someone graduating from high school, you can add some essentials: Tylenol, Advil, antacids, over-the-counter seasonal allergy meds, and maybe a pill cutter. (Purchase a pill cutter here.)

***As an Amazon Associate, I receive commissions on items purchased through my links.***

by Kelly Mattei

Someone On Your List Wants Barbie™ x Stanley Quenchers

Someone on your list wants Barbie x Stanley Quenchers. Now there’s a collaboration with the Barbie brand, celebrating 65 years of Barbie! Barbie x Stanley! These are hot items this holiday season! See all eight variations here. This is a great opportunity to get the perfect gift for the people on your list who love Barbie, or Stanley, or both! Get them before they’re gone! Use your Amazon Prime membership for free shipping!

  • Stanley x Barbie™ Icon 40 Oz Quencher Icon is the key word here, because this one is iconic! This beauty features the iconic Barbie logo in…you guessed it…pink! This 40-oz Quencher is priced at $60 and makes a great gift! Get it here.

  • Stanley X Barbie™ ’60s Twist ’N Turn Quencher 40 Oz With a soft, sorbet gradient and tangerine lid and straw combo, this vibrant Barbie Quencher captures the movement that made the Twist ‘N Turn Barbie doll so striking! Great colors and great for the Barbie collector too! Get it here.

  • Stanley x Barbie™ ’80s Rockers Quencher 40 Oz Inspired by the Barbie and the Rockers dolls, the Rockers Quencher features bright, retro graphics that are ready to rock. In a new wave style that is quintessentially Barbie, this unstoppable Quencher is born to lead. Purchase here.

  • Stanley x Barbie™ ’70s Superstar Quencher 40 Oz The hot pink and purple gradient of the Superstar Quencher is all about glitz and glam. A pattern of gold, dainty stars echo the sparkle and star-shaped stand of the Superstar Barbie doll. Purchase here.

  • Stanley x Barbie™ ’80s Western Ken Quencher 40 Oz Lasso your own Western Ken Quencher in a Midnight-black. With a print that mimics the contrast stitching and silver buckle showcased on the Western Ken doll, stand tall — adventure’s calling. Purchase here.

  • Stanley x Barbie™ ’80s Dynamite Quencher 40 Oz Rich colors, gold accents and disco lights of the Dynamite Quencher celebrate the first Black Barbie doll. Iconic in every way, the Dynamite Barbie doll debuted in a vibrant red bodysuit and wrap skirt with glamorous jewelry and star quality poses to shine. Purchase here.

  • Stanley x Barbie™ ’80s Rockers Quencher 40 Oz Inspired by the Barbie and the Rockers dolls, the Rockers Quencher features bright, retro graphics that are ready to rock. In a new wave style that is quintessentially Barbie, this unstoppable Quencher is born to lead. Purchase here.

  • Stanley x Barbie™ Icon 30 Oz Quencher The Barbie Icon Quenchers arrive in a bright pop of Barbie pink to celebrate shining bright together and creating limitless possibilities for all. This one holds 10 few ounces than the others, so it’s easier to carry and costs less! Purchase here.

These won’t last long! Take advantage of this opportunity to make lots of people on your list happy. Granddaughters? Check! Daughters? Check! Cousins? Friends? Moms? Check..check…and CHECK!

HAPPY SHOPPING!

by Kelly Mattei

Gifts For Women (that includes Mom)

Gifts for women (that includes Mom)

Lots of people find the women in their lives are difficult to buy for at the holidays. You’re not the only one trying to come up with gift ideas for Mom or your wife or other friends/family members. In fact, I get texts from people every day asking for help, so I’m going to throw some ideas out there. Some of them might be repeats from previous posts, but there will be some new ones in here too:

  • UGG Women’s Classic Ultra Mini Boot When I want to really relax at home and have comfortable shoes on my feet, I reach for my Uggs. I have all kinds of them…tall, short, classic, slippers…but these Classic Ultra Minis are great for me around the house. My daughter loves these too. In fact they’re on her Christmas list this year! Maybe Santa will bring them. Most of the women on your list would love this gift. It’s available in more than 20 colors. Purchase here.

  • Warmies neck wraps, eye masks, and heated slippers. You had me at “heated slippers.” They’ll actually microwavable slippers. To me, that sounds so incredible that I ordered some to put under the tree for myself! And the neck warmer? That’s always welcome. It can also be used on aching legs or even an aching back. Unlike a heating pad, you can walk around with warmies, because you aren’t attached to the wall with an electrical cord. Purchase slippers for Mom here. Purchase a microwavable neck wrap for her here. And the eye masks (heat them for relaxation or freeze them to de-puff eyes) can be purchased here.
  • Laura Geller New York Beauty Products. It’s what Mom wants! Laura Geller New York has beauty products that are made for mom! They’re current. They’re gorgeous. And they’re good for her skin! Get her the LAURA GELLER NEW YORK Jelly Balm Moisturizing Tinted Lip Color – Cocoa-Motion – Hydrating Vitamin E – Semi-Shine Finish here. It’s moisturizes her lips every time she uses it! She’ll thank you! Or maybe you’d like to get her the LAURA GELLER NEW YORK Award-Winning Baked Balance-n-Brighten To Go Travel Size Color Correcting Powder Foundation. It helps her skin while it covers little imperfections and creates a glowing finish. Find the right shade from the ones offered…it’s color correcting, and it’s not difficult to find her shade. Purchase here.
  • Drybar The Single Shot Round Blow-Dryer Brush This is a great gift for Mom! I have one that I use regularly! It gives my hair lift and body, whether I start with wet, damp, or dry hair. I love mine, and your Mom will likely love it too! Purchase here.
  • Dry Divas Shower Cap. Sounds weird, I know, but in my opinion, these are the best shower caps going. I have several of them, some of which I have had for seven years! I like them, because I have a lot of hair, and they actually cover all my hair on the days I don’t want to wash it in the shower. I have never found a better one. Plus, they’re so cute! Purchase the leopard one here and get it in time for Christmas!
  • SWOMOG Women Zipper Up Robe I know people laugh about moms getting robes for Christmas, but I love a robe. Seriously, I do. I always have. Even when I was a little girl, I liked to have a good robe to wear around the house. This one, though, is what I consider more of a “get ready robe.” When I get out of the shower, I might bundle up in a heavy robe for a few minutes, but when it’s time to do my hair and makeup, I don’t like to wrestle with a heavy robe. I put on my “get ready robe” that’s a lightweight, zip-up robe. Get one for mom here.
  • Bible Verse Jar This is a great gift for anyone. My mother would have loved this. I have one, and I sent one to my daughter in college, thinking it might help her when she is stressed or sad. It’s color coded by situation. Great gift. Get it here.
  • Credit Card Holder Wallet for Women I have one of these and get compliments on it all the time. Even my college-age daughter’s friends give me compliments on this wallet. It’s the one thing in my life that is truly organized! It also protect against credit card scanning with RFID protection. It comes in several colors. Right now, I’m carrying the green one, and my daughter has it in red. Get one for mom or any woman on your list here.
  • Kenneth Jay Lane Jewelry. Y’all, I’m just going to tell the world: I love Kenneth Jay Lane Jewelry. It’s all fake, but wow, he does a great job of making fake look good! I wear different pieces all the time, and some of them are my favorites! Any woman on your list is likely to love a Kenneth Jay Lane piece! There are lots of different price points, so you’re likely to find something in your budget that will be perfect for the women on your list. See Kenneth Jay Lane at Amazon here. Make sure you scroll all through the Kenneth Jay Lane items, as there are some that start as low as $22. I have a friend who has asked Santa for some gold polished earrings ($55) you can see here. If gems are their thing, see some great earrings for $109 here. Personally, it wouldn’t hurt my feelings to find the resin and glass earrings listed here. There are so many lovely necklaces here.

Go find something for the women on your list!

HAPPY SHOPPING!

*Sponsored ad. We receive commission on items purchased through links.

by Kelly Mattei

Save 33% on KOIOS Air Purifier for Healthy Dorm Living

Kid moving to college dorm or dusty apartment? Have pets? A KOIOS air purifier could be a big help in air quality for you or your college student. Everyone who has ever been to college or sent a kid to live in a dorm knows sickness runs through dorms. Why not do everything you can to purify the air in your student’s space? Get one for the dorm room and a few for home! I saw a video recently in which about 50 college freshmen were asked, “What ONE item would you recommend for dorm living?” Most of them said, “Air purifier.” They are living it right now, so they know. This KOIOS model is “Amazon’s Choice,” meaning it gets great reviews, and as an Early Black Friday Deal, it’s 33% off! Get it for $59.99 (reg $89.99) here. It would be a great gift for a current or future college student! It helps purify the air in a large room…up to 1200 square feet! Use your Amazon Prime membership and get free shipping!

by Kelly Mattei

College Nesting?

***I posted this two years ago, in 2022, when I was preparing to send our daughter off to college 450 miles away. If you’re about to send your child off to college, you can do this!***

College nesting?

Nineteen years ago, we were eagerly awaiting the arrival of our daughter. She was due on October 11, so in August and September of that year, I was in full-on “nesting mode.” Anyone who has ever expected a baby knows what I’m talking about…that need to get every detail squared away before the baby arrives. Back then, we read all about it in What to Expect When You’re Expecting, so we weren’t surprised when we found ourselves lining drawers and washing everything in sight.

Fast forward 19 years, and I find myself doing the same thing.

Why am I “nesting” for my soon-to-be college freshman?

Why am I nesting for my soon-to-be college freshman? It had never occurred to me that this could happen, but a couple of days ago, as I packed up some IKEA bags with dorm bedding, lighting, and other items, I realized, “I’m nesting.” Unfortunately, I haven’t ever found a book called What to Expect When You’re Sending Your Child to College, so I don’t have any reference. Sure, I have called my friends who have college kids and asked them about it. They all assure me that what I’m doing is perfectly normal…that it’s a way of dealing with the transition. I just wish I could see it in writing somewhere.

Is the transition going to be easy? No. I am beyond excited for our daughter. She is going to enjoy the full college experience at my alma mater. Sure, there will be days she is stressed out or even homesick, but hopefully, I will be able to talk her through it. Or her friends will distract her. Or she will get busy and forget about homesickness. As for me, I don’t know who will talk me through it. I will miss her like crazy. Will I be able to handle it? Yes, of course. No, I’m not planning to move to be near her college. In fact, I have three big vacations planned for the month following her departure. If that doesn’t help take my mind off it, nothing will.

But that’s why this whole college nesting thing happens…for the parents. Any good parent is likely a little worried about their college-bound kid. I’m not worried about her handling the school work. She will figure that out. I know, too, that she will make new friends quickly…especially since she will be living in a dorm. It’s more of a concern about her spinning her wheels trying to get everything else done. I know she can and will do it, but my nesting instinct is making me prepare everything I can for her room. Cold/nausea/pain medications? Check. I don’t want her to have to run out to look for meds if she is feeling poorly. Cleaning supplies/vacuum cleaner? Check. I have no idea how often she and her roommate will clean the bathroom in their dorm room, but I want to make sure the tools are there. Laundry supplies/clothing prep? Check. I have packed a stand-up steamer and laundry supplies, including Static Guard, a wrinkle releaser, an on-the-go spot remover, and a small sewing kit. Basic school supplies? Check. Having a few things in advance won’t hurt. Bins and organizers for the room? Check. They likely won’t be used as planned, but they have them if they want them.

I know she and her roommate will need to go out and get more things after we, the parents, hit the road. It will give them an excuse to get out of the dorm for a little while. Do I think they will end up doubling up on some of the things I have carefully packed and organized for them? Yes, because they won’t even look at a lot of the things I have packed. They won’t even realize they already have rubberbands and paperclips. And that’s OK.

Whether they use the things I have packed or not, I will know I sent her off prepared for most things. She might go out and look for Band-Aids for the blisters on her heels even though I packed them in a medicine box for them. And again, that’s OK. I know those Band-Aids are there for them. That’s why I’m “college nesting,” just like other parents are all over the country right now. Sure, it’s for them, but mostly, it makes me feel better about her departure. By focusing on mundane tasks, I am not focusing on the fact that this child (adult?) I have nurtured and loved for almost 19 years is flying the coop.

She is leaving us and will never live in our house again on a permanent basis. I think that’s the fact I am trying to process while I’m preparing her for the next school year. We are proud parents. We are happy that she is moving into this next phase of life, and we are excited about what it means for us too. But it’s going to be a transition, for sure.

I guess I should get busy packing up some clothes for her today.

by Kelly Mattei

You Are Not Going to College with Your Child

You are not going to college with your child.

Why am I saying that? Well, because it seems lots of parents think they need to be involved with their child’s college experience. I’m here to tell you: you do not need to know anything, Mom. Even if you went to your child’s orientation session (or plan to attend), you don’t need to remember the information. College is your child’s job. It’s not your job. If you keep assisting your child with everything he/she needs to do/know, your child will never learn to do it on his/her own. Stick with me, and at the end of this piece, I will tell you what you can do to make your child’s transition to college more successful.

I think parents became more “helicopterish” with their college students when colleges and universities started offering orientation sessions for parents. No, just no. It makes me sick. I have said before that I went with my daughter two years ago, but I only went because it seemed everyone else was going, and I didn’t want her to feel like an orphan! I skipped out at lunch on the first day and never looked back. I simply couldn’t take it. It made me crazy that parents were asking questions kids should have been asking for themselves. If I had a second child, he/she would be going it alone, and I would feel great about it. You know why? Well, I truly believe those parent sessions are simply babysitting sessions to keep parents busy after they have traveled there. It wasn’t terrible, but I did not need to know the information they were putting out there. Where to park? I don’t care. Where to eat? I don’t care. I have already graduated from college…way back in the 1980s…and I figured it all out myself.

In 1985, my parents didn’t go to orientation with me! No way! I drove myself two hours to the university, found the dorm without a navigation system in my car, learned what I needed to know, made my schedule, and drove myself home…alone. In fact, I don’t recall seeing one parent at orientation at The University of Alabama in 1985!

And while I’m at it, allow me to also remind you that you don’t need to make your child’s academic schedule. Again, he/she needs to learn how to do it on his/her own. I see parents on the parent pages regularly talking about helping their kids make their schedules. What??? I don’t even know what classes my daughter is taking! And my parents never knew what classes I was taking!

Take a deep breath, Mom. Your child can navigate college without you. If you don’t believe that, maybe your child shouldn’t be going too far from home. Mine goes to a school 450 miles away, and it’s the greatest thing I ever did for her…letting her do college on her own. She takes care of herself and handles everything on her own, and we don’t waste our time talking about school. We talk about life and fun things, instead!

So, how can you help your child with the transition to college? I’m not a counselor or psychologist, but I am a mom, so I know a little bit. Here’s what you can do:

  • Help them prepare to outfit their dorm room. Gather what they need, and purchase what you don’t have. (Amazon Prime Days are coming up in mid-July, and there will be lots of dorm stuff on sale…a great time to get good prices! Come back to my site to get information on some special deals!)
  • Answer the phone when they call you…anytime, day or night. That first semester can be difficult, so they might need a sounding board. Be there for them. Be supportive. Be positive and encouraging.
  • Make sure they know what to do in emergency situations.
  • Provide whatever they need.
  • Most of all:

Let your little birdie fly! It might not be easy, but it’s important! They can do this! And you can too!

by Kelly Mattei

Now That Our Kids Are Grown(ish)…

Now that our kids are grown(ish)…

Do you look back and think how silly and unimportant some things were? I do. I do it all the time. There were so many things we thought were life-altering, but they just weren’t. When a friend with a 3rd-grade child said to me recently, “I was horrified that my child didn’t turn in her homework,” I responded, “Really? It doesn’t matter.” When another friend said, “My child doesn’t want to play any organized sports,” I responded the same way.

Don’t get me wrong. I think all kids should play a team sport at least once. It teaches them a lot, but that’s all the preaching I will do on that.

As for the forgotten homework in 3rd grade? A few years down the line, I know it didn’t matter, and hopefully, other moms will see it really didn’t matter for their kids either. I wish I had been able to look at my daughter when she was that age and had forgotten to bring a book home and say, “Honey. It’s OK. I promise it’s not a big deal.” Even if I did say it, the hard part was getting her to realize it too. As long as it’s not a habit, I truly believe it’s not a big deal. Educators might disagree, but whatever.

I was not one who ever knew much about our daughter’s homework. When she was in 3rd grade, another parent asked me, “Is your daughter ready for the Bunnicula test?” I must have looked at her like she had fourteen eyes. “The what?” “The Bunnicula test!” I promise I asked, in less nice terms, “What the heck is a bunnicula??” The other mom informed me it was the book they had been reading for school. I laughed and said, “Oh, honey, I have no idea what she’s reading.” The only thing that might have made that scene better is if I’d been wearing a colorful caftan while smoking a cigarette with one hand and holding a martini in the other…you know, like moms in the 1970s. I might have, inadvertently, hurt that mom’s feelings, but it was the truth. I didn’t keep up with my child’s homework. That was her job. I did, however, go back to the school one time (OK, more than once) to get something she had forgotten. The teachers preached against that, but they didn’t have to see my child stress over it. Plus, if I forgot something somewhere, I could drive myself to get it. She couldn’t, so I took her. Yep, I was that mom. I didn’t want to deal with the stress of listening to my child stress out over it, so I took her back to get the book. And you know what? I would do it again, if only so I could have a peaceful evening at home. But in the overall scheme of things? That book didn’t matter one bit. And that assignment really didn’t either. As long as she wasn’t falling behind in school and wasn’t making a habit of forgetting things, it really didn’t matter.

I know. All parents do things differently. Some are trying to make sure their kids are headed for Ivy League colleges, as I learned quickly when my child entered middle school in sixth grade. At the parents’ meeting at the beginning of the year, lots of parents asked about which math track their kids needed to be on. Others asked about the best “science track” and which classes counted as academic classes and which ones didn’t. I wasn’t one of those. I always just believed she would fall into the right “math track” or “science track” for her, so I wasn’t one of the moms asking those questions. At that meeting, I was one of the moms in the back row trying really hard to stifle an uncontrollable giggle about something a science teacher said…a double entendre she didn’t realize was a double entendre, and the fact that she didn’t realize it made it even funnier to me. I think it was something on a graph, and she called it a “g-spot.” I literally had to walk outside and compose myself. But I knew I had found a kindred spirit among the parents when the middle school admin team was talking about school sports and a mom raised her hand with a question. “Do y’all have a laundry service for the uniforms after games?” I had to peek around heads to see who had asked, because I wanted that mom to be my friend! I didn’t care about the math track and science track! That would work itself out. I wanted to know about the laundry service! Alas, there was no laundry service. In hindsight, I should have invited that mom over to drink wine and do laundry with me. It’s OK, though, because our kids are at the same university, so we can get together on campus for drinks and not even have to worry about laundry!

It’s not all about school, though. Parents worry about sleeping babies and overstimulation. As for worrying about sleeping, I did my fair share of that…not so much worrying about our daughter as I was worried about me. I had a livewire on my hands! She was busy from the time she emerged from the womb and didn’t want to miss a thing! It nearly killed me. I had that baby girl/toddler/small child who would not take a nap. Yeah, she slept at night but not excessively long. I heard people talk about how they trained their babies to sleep 16 or 17 hours a day. I should have just handed them mine so they could see what life with her looked like! And when she started moving around, there was no sitting still…ever. In fact, she still doesn’t sit still for long, and she’s almost 21! I think some kids are just born sleepers and some aren’t. Don’t try to argue with me. You won’t win that argument. Later, I was glad she didn’t sleep during the day or need lots of nap time, because we could just keep moving all day…and we did! Looking back on that now, none of it really mattered in the long run. It was all just a blip on the radar of life.

Growing/raising a child has taught me a lot, and one thing it taught me is that lots of issues are simple blips on the radar of life. It’s sometimes difficult to remember that as something is happening, but it’s true. Yes, there are big problems in life, but a third grader not turning in an assignment is not one of them. Not completing the summer reading isn’t a big deal, either. I look back on how those stupid summer reading assignments ruined parts of summer, and it still makes me a little angry. I felt like the stupid summer reading was an intrusion on my time with my child, and in hindsight, I truly wish I hadn’t made her do it. I wish I had told her not to worry about it, because in the overall scheme of life, it wasn’t going to matter. I wish I had told her to enjoy the long, fun days of summer.

However, I let the summer reading assignments get to me (and her), so I’m telling y’all now:

Enjoy the long, fun days of summer together with your children.

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush Prep Should Be Well Underway

Sorority rush prep should be well underway.

If your daughter is participating in sorority recruitment, especially in the south, you need to be knee deep in preparations by now. If not, it’s not too late, but get busy. I wrote a piece in February called Don’t Sweat Fall Sorority Rush Yet, and in it, I included a timeline of preparation. It’s almost mid-June…let’s gooooooooo! To read the piece I mentioned, click here.

In the piece, the timeline mentions the wardrobe in July. That is when it should be shored up and ready to go. Shop now for rush appropriate dresses. That means you don’t want to be too flashy, too skimpy, or too matronly. Most college-age girls know what is fashionable, but if you wouldn’t wear it in front of your boyfriend’s mother, don’t wear it for rush.

If you haven’t registered for rush or made any required videos, get busy. I’ve mentioned this before: don’t read a script for your video, but have some talking points, making sure you cover any prompts they have requested. Smile and be confident, and use good lighting!

Millions of young women have participated in recruitment over the years; you can do this!

Please send any questions, comments, or concerns. I love getting questions!