Tag / life

by Kelly Mattei

My Favorite Everyday Jewelry

My favorite everyday jewelry. *As an Amazon Associate, I receive commission on items purchased through my links.*

I’m giving away some real secrets today!

This past weekend, I met a few friends from college for a weekend full of laughs, memories, drinks, food, and new memories! It’s always fun to get together with people I have known most of my life. I’m very fortunate to have maintained friendships with people I met in college 40 years ago. Did I mention we laugh a lot when we get together?!? Well, we do.

When I travel, whether I’m meeting friends for lunch or traveling, I like to keep the jewelry simple. That doesn’t mean I don’t wear pieces I love. I just like to have some things that will work with anything I wear, so I don’t have to take as much. Also, I find those same pieces are my “fall back” pieces when I’m in a hurry to get somewhere in Charlotte or when I can’t make a decision.

The best thing about them? They’re inexpensive! If I leave them behind somewhere, it’s no disaster. I also get lots of compliments on them. For those reasons and lots more, I highly recommend these pieces:

  • Earrings. Trendy CZ Gold Hoop Earrings for Women. These earrings come in lots of colors, but my favorites for traveling are the multicolor ones, simply for ease. They match everything. They’re not too big but not too small, and I receive countless compliments on them. Best of all? They are only $13.99! I have several pairs of the multicolor ones, and I also have them in pink, green, and blue. ***Also great earrings for sorority rush if you’re still wondering what to take/send/wear!***Purchase here.

  • Necklace. Again, a piece I receive countless compliments on, and again, inexpensive…only $7.99! It’s big enough to be noticed, but not big enough to be the only thing people see. Purchase here.

  • Bangle Bracelets. A trio of bangle bracelets for about $20. Sure, they’re costume jewelry, but they fill a need and dress up an ensemble! Get them here.

There you have it. Some of my best-kept secrets…divulged. Purchase while supplies last!

by Kelly Mattei

I Love You

I love you.

I just saw a video on social media about a new trend. Apparently, teenagers are calling their friends at night and saying something along the lines of, “I just wanted to call you and say good night and I love you.” It’s funny to see what the various reactions are.

I don’t call my friends at night and say, “Good night and I love you,” but I do tell my friends I love them at the end of a phone conversation…or even at the end of a get-together. It’s something my family did, and it’s something I have carried over into my friendships. My friend, Wendy, who passed away seven years ago (June 4 is the seventh anniversary of her passing), thought it was weird at first. When we would be hanging up the phone or leaving a gathering, I would say, “Love you!” She would laugh. She wasn’t one who was demonstrative in that way. I would say, “It’s OK. You don’t have to say it back. I know you love me.” But I changed her over the years. I wore her down. Eventually, after several years of friendship, she starting saying, “I love you too, sista.” I’m so happy I wore her down with that. She passed away when she was 46 after a 30 year battle with various cancers. God bless her. She was a fighter. I find peace in knowing she KNEW I loved her, and I knew she loved me. Now that I think about it, maybe I didn’t wear her down. Maybe her constant battles with cancer made her start saying it. Maybe she knew I needed to hear it. The “why” doesn’t really matter, though. She said it.

My parents heard me tell them I loved them almost every single day of my life, and I heard it too. By the time they passed away, they had likely heard it thousands of times. Does that give me some peace? Of course it does. I hope it gave them peace as they were dying. I hope they knew they were loved and that their memories would live on through me and my brother. I hope they knew we loved them and would tell stories about them for the rest of our lives…daily.

Recently, as I was hanging up the phone with a friend…a guy I have known for years who is a close family friend…I said, “Ok, love you, honey!” I said it without realizing it, and I heard the hesitation. I don’t even remember how he responded…some sort of mumbled something. I texted him afterward, “Did my ‘love ya honey’ freak you out? I do tell everyone that, so it’s OK to say it to you.” He responded, “Wasn’t quite sure what you said.” I said, “I said it out of habit. It’s just what I do. Lol.” And that’s the truth. I tell my daughter, my husband, my brother, my aunt, my cousins, my friends, my daughter’s friends…lots of people are on my “love ya honey” list. Do I mean it? You bet I do!

I’m turning 58 tomorrow, and the older I get, the more I realize how important it is to let people know we love them and appreciate them. I love getting older, and I love the “wisdom” that comes with it. I define wisdom as “knowing you only know a little bit about all there is to know in the world, and knowing you can always learn a lot more.” Part of my “wisdom” is knowing I need people to know they are loved.

I think it’s a good “habit.” I always want my friends and family to know the last thing I said to them is “I love you.” So if we talk on the phone or have lunch any time soon, don’t be surprised if I say “love you” before we hang up or before we part ways. It’s OK if you don’t say it back. I won’t take it personally, but I won’t stop saying it.

Love you, honey!

by Kelly Mattei

Good People Are Easy to Find

Good people are easy to find.

Last Thursday morning, I met my friend, Angela, in the Charlotte airport and boarded a plane to Los Angeles. It was the first time the two of us have taken a real trip together, just the two of us, I think. We have taken vacations with our daughters, and we have even taken vacations with my husband, but as far as I can remember, we had never taken a real vacation without anyone else. We have been friends for almost 40 years, so we were overdue. Before we went, we knew we were likely to have a lot of fun laughing, drinking, talking, relaxing, and more, but we had no idea what was ahead of us. We were pleasantly surprised!

It all started when I boarded the American Airlines flight to LAX. I got to my seat and lifted my carry-on bag into the overhead bin. Immediately, a gentleman in the row in front of me asked, “Would you like to trade seats?” I didn’t want to be rude, but I plan my travel ahead of time and pick my seats carefully. I booked the aisle seat on row 2, because I like to be near the front of the plane, but I do not like to sit at the bulkhead. I like to be able to put my handbag underneath the seat in front of me. When you sit at the bulkhead, you have to put all carry-ons, including your handbag into the overhead bin, and I don’t like to do that. Some people might think it’s ridiculous that I feel that way, but I like having my migraine meds, my reading materials, and my earbuds readily available. Therefore, I told the gentleman, “No, thank you, I don’t like sitting at the bulkhead. Sorry.” At about that time, my seatmate arrived, and he was that gentleman’s business partner. The first gentleman in row 1 turned to the woman in the seat next to him and asked if she would switch with my seatmate. She agreed and came back to sit by me.

Before we took off, I told her, “Please don’t hesitate to let me know if you need to get up during the flight. It’s not likely I will fall asleep, but please just let me know, and I can let you out of the row at any time.” I also told her I always get an aisle seat, because I end up going to the bathroom several times, so I understand needing to get up. We exchanged pleasantries. Soon after takeoff, we engaged in conversation. Her story is not mine to tell, but I can tell you this: she is one of the loveliest, most interesting people I have ever met! I can tell you most people would love to meet her, and she has an incredible life story. In fact, you can read her story in her own words, because she has written a book about her different life experiences. Her name is Dr. Niedre Heckman, and the book is called The World Where I Belong: My Quest for Identity As a Black Woman in White Skin. You can purchase it on Amazon (I started reading it last night) here. Like I said, I will not tell her story, but as an introduction, I will tell you she is an African-American woman who is about my age, and she was born with the condition called albinism. I will not pretend to know everything about the condition, but the most obvious characteristic is the lack of pigmentation in one’s skin/hair/eyes. Those of us who don’t have the condition can only imagine what it’s like to grow up with it, but Dr. Niedre Heckman is sharing some insight into her own life and experience. I highly recommend the book, based simply on the fact that I found her to be fascinating. She is most kind and wants good things for other people. We can all learn something from her. Highly recommend her book! That good person (#1) was easy to find!

It was an incredible start to the weekend! When we arrived at baggage claim in LAX, I introduced my longtime friend (40+ years!), Angela, to Dr. Heckman, and she walked away with the same impression. It was foreshadowing, I believe, for the rest of the weekend. Our meeting set the tone for a weekend with great people.

The next day, we opted for a late lunch in our hotel’s largest restaurant. We had a great table for people watching, one of my favorite hobbies. I was not disappointed that day. We were lingering over cocktails after lunch when a couple came in and sat at a table nearby. I noticed they were taking pictures, so I motioned to the gentleman that I would be happy to take pictures for them. He misunderstood my poor attempt at sign language and came over to our table, asking, “Do y’all want me to take your picture?” I said, “No, thank you! We were offering to take yours, but did you just say ‘y’all’?” He said, “I did! I’m from Alabama!” We said, “We are too!” (I was born in Florida but grew up in Alabama before moving to Charlotte 25 years ago.) After some discussion, we figured out this charming southern gentleman grew up with someone I know in Charlotte! We had a great time chatting with him and his friend…day made! Oh, we also got a glimpse of a few celebrities, one of whom even impressed my college-age daughter! Angela and I were most impressed by the lovely people we spent time with on that beautiful, sunny afternoon. What a great “small world moment”! And another good person (#2) who was easy to find!

The next afternoon, we had a lunch reservation at one of my very favorite restaurants ever. We were welcomed warmly by the manager, whom I had met on a previous visit. He has a positive, uplifting spirit and a genuine warmth about him, so I was thrilled to see him again. I introduced him to Angela, and we enjoyed talking with him. The food was fantastic (as always), and the whole experience could not have been better. Why? Because the staff at the restaurant was attentive; they were friendly and made us feel special! Woot! Good person (#3)…easy to find.

From there, we went to a scheduled shopping session at a store on Rodeo Drive. I love shopping with a particular gentleman who works there, because I have known him for years. I first met him probably 10 years ago when he was working at another store in the area. After COVID, I lost track of him, as he moved back to his hometown. However, last June, I walked into this particular store with my daughter and a friend, but without an appointment. The doorman called for an associate to meet us at the door, and out walked my old friend from the other store! I had found him! We agreed it was a God moment…I cried. Now, every time I’m in town, I shop with him, and I’m thrilled to know he is doing very well. My visits with him (and sometimes my purchases) always put a smile on my face. Good person (#4), easy to find.

But wait! There’s more! Saturday night, Angela and I had a reservation at another of my favorite restaurants, but we weren’t terribly hungry. We were also feeling a little lazy. For a brief moment, we considered canceling our dinner reservation, but finally decided to rally and go. We arrived at the restaurant right on time, and the hostess said, “Ohhh! I have the perfect table for you!” She whisked us off to a table that was, indeed, the perfect table. We could see the whole room! There was a fun birthday group at the table next to us. There was excitement in the air! Our server approached our table almost immediately. When I looked up at her, she asked, “Do I know you from somewhere?” I looked at her, puzzled, and replied, “Maybe here?” She said, “Maybe Bel Air?:” I recognized her then, but it was one of those rare moments I didn’t recall the name…”What is your name?” She replied, “Francesca.” Y’all. I met her when I dined at a restaurant in Bel Air five years ago! She was my server, and the next time I went, a year later, I requested her. This time, she recognized me first. I’m usually the one who remembers all the names and faces, so I was absolutely flattered that she remembered me! She literally said to me, “I have thought of you many times and wondered if I would ever see you again! When I saw you walk in, I recognized you immediately!” I was so happy to reconnect with her, and now, I will request her every time I go to this particular restaurant. Good person (#5) easy to find.

Sunday night, we had dinner with a friend we have known for several years. We have always known he’s a good person. We stumbled upon a friendship with him years ago.

Just goes to show you…good people are easy to find…if you just keep your eyes and ears open. It was a great vacation with a great friends and lots of new friends.

by Kelly Mattei

Dyson Airwrap DEAL on Amazon

Dyson Airwrap DEAL on Amazon here.

If you need/want to purchase the ever-popular Dyson Airwrap for someone on your holiday list (or for yourself), now is the time. It seems almost every female in America under the age of 60 wants this incredible hairstyling tool. If you have a daughter in high school or college, you can bet she would be thrilled to get this for Christmas or Hanukkah! I have never seen the Airwrap on sale before, but right now you can get an early Black Friday deal for $100 off the regular price of $599! I’d $499 for a limited time! Get it now before the deal ends here!

This is a huge deal, because you will also get free shipping if you have an Amazon Prime membership! And if you don’t have a Prime membership, it’s time to get one! I have saved $1946 this year with free Prime delivery and movies.

ORDER THAT DYSON AIRWRAP HERE BEFORE THIS DEAL IS GONE, and tell everyone you know to come order through my link for the deal!

***I receive commissions for items ordered through my Amazon link. Thank you for shopping my links AND for SHARING my links with friends! Send your friend to my page, so they can shop through my site.***

by Kelly Mattei

Turn Off the 24-Hour News

Turn off the 24-hour news.

My husband loves the television, and whether he is actively watching it or not, he wants the TV on in our living room and in our bedroom. He wakes up every morning, opens the curtains, turns on the TV in the bedroom, turns on the TV in the living room, takes the dogs outside, and then, he brings me coffee in bed. I appreciate everything he does for me and our family, but I have grown to abhor the television news. My husband loves it, but I hate it.

I figured out recently that listening to the news constantly causes great stress for me. I don’t need to know everything that’s going on in the world all day. I certainly don’t need to hear politics all day. Sometimes, I prefer something that isn’t based in reality. So you know what I did? I walked into the living room, picked up the remote control, and turned on The Jeffersons. My husband was taken aback and asked what I was doing. I responded, “I’m turning off the news. I can’t listen to it anymore. You can watch it upstairs in the game room or in the bedroom, but it’s not going to be on in the living room anymore. It stresses me out. I’m turning on some mindless TV that makes me laugh.” And you know what? He didn’t even argue. He simply went into another room with his laptop and turned on the news in there. Problem solved.

Personally, I think 24-hour news did some damage to our collective psyche. Remember when Walter Cronkite delivered the news? He didn’t interject his opinion. He just told us what was happening. However, when 24-hour news channels had to start filling up 24 hours of television programming, we started getting more opinions from “journalists.” And you know what they say about opinions…everybody has one. Once we started hearing everyone’s opinion on TV, it changed the game. Some people started taking those opinions as fact. I truly believe it started dividing the population. Some are brainwashed by one side of the aisle, and others are brainwashed by the other side.

Therefore, there will be no more daytime news if I’m in the room. I will change channels in the blink of an eye. Maybe I’ll watch/listen to The Jeffersons. Maybe I’ll tune into MeTV and watch Perry Mason (quality programming right there), The Andy Griffith Show, or Green Acres. Maybe I’ll turn on some Nickelodeon or HGTV. Or maybe I’ll just play some music. But I refuse to listen to politicians and pundits all day long.

Not gonna do it.

I think I will be happier. I think all of us would be happier if we would step away from the news channels for a while. Maybe we would form our own opinions based on our own moral compasses and ethics. Maybe we would all get along a lot better.

by Kelly Mattei

You Have A High School Graduate

You have a high school graduate.

I just saw a video of Jennifer Garner on Instagram. She was crying, because her daughter just graduated from high school. In one clip, she asks, “How are we gonna make it?!” Of course, lots of people responded, but my favorite comment was, “Why aren’t people making us casseroles?” I laughed until I cried thinking of a mom being so distraught over her child leaving that she needed comfort food, and while I loved that comment, because I also love any opportunity to make or receive a casserole, I know a secret.

My secret? Having your child graduate and move off to college (or the military or trade school or ATC school or the police academy or whatever) is not the end of the world. In fact, it’s the opposite! If you have more than one child, you’re likely to feel like your life continues on about the same trajectory until all your babies have left the nest. I have one child, so when my daughter went off to college, my husband and I became empty-nesters…empty-nesters who are still paying all our daughter’s bills, but empty-nesters, nonetheless. And you know what? After we dropped her off at her university 450 miles away, the world didn’t come to an end! Our old life ended, but a new life began, and it’s a lot of fun!

I saw a video clip from the TV show, Modern Family, recently that really hit home. In the video, Jay, the family patriarch, talks about how we fall in love with a baby, and then the baby becomes a toddler, and on and on through different stages of life, but we never have time to miss the baby, because it’s replaced with another version of itself…a “toddler with the greatest laugh on earth.” And it’s true! I have loved every stage of our daughter’s life! Has it always been easy? That first year was especially tough. I remember thinking on her first birthday, “I survived the first year.” Don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed the first year too, but there was some survival involved. I think the fact that it’s not easy is what makes us appreciate it. Struggling with a newborn just bonds us!

My next door neighbor, who is a grandmother several times over, told me recently that she feels like those early years with kids at home are a real gift, but they are a sacrifice too. Once our kids are grown and out of the house, we miss them, but we are grateful for the gift they continue to be (even with crises), and we appreciate not making the daily sacrifices. Since our daughter went off to college, my husband I don’t have to get up early every morning to make sure our daughter gets out to school. Like many people these days, we can do our work from home…or anywhere, for that matter. If we want to leave town during the school year, we can! If we want to eat dinner standing over the kitchen sink, we can! For me, I love that our lives are no longer built around a school schedule. Of course, there are other sacrifices. College is not cheap. Trips abroad for our daughter are not cheap. Also, we have to worry from afar instead of worrying about her in our own home. If she’s in Italy, we worry about her in Italy. If she’s in Tuscaloosa, we worry about her in Tuscaloosa. However, the minute-to-minute sacrifices aren’t there like they are when our children are younger. I don’t spend my weekends at soccer or lacrosse tournaments anymore, praise the Lord! I don’t volunteer at her school anymore, thank God. At the same time, though, we don’t get to watch her play lacrosse, and we don’t have her here every day anymore.

Is it difficult when they first leave? Yes. I’m not gonna kid you about that. The house is quieter. The friends are not in and out all the time anymore, and at first, I was sad about that. Then, by the Christmas of her freshman year, I guess I had grown accustomed to having my own space, because when all the friends were here, I was surprised at how loud and intrusive it could feel! Don’t get me wrong…after a couple of days, it became the norm again, and by the time she went back to school that January, I had to get used to the peace and quiet again.

All this is my long way of saying this: embrace the change! It’s a great stage of life! Do I miss my girl when she’s not here? Yes, but I also appreciate the time she is here, and I appreciate the extra time to do what I want to do. If you have a child who has graduated and is leaving soon for college, the military, or something else, take the time right now, before they go, to make a plan for yourself. Know in advance how you are going to fill up that quiet time! It’s easier to adjust if you have a plan. Play mahjong! Play pickleball! Learn to play bridge! Volunteer somewhere! After our daughter left, I started getting more exercise, and I spend a lot of time planning vacations. I don’t go on vacation constantly, but it’s fun to research destinations. I also spend time with friends once or twice a week.

You can do this, Mama! I think you will find empty-nesting is not scary. It’s fun. Fill up the weekends doing what you want to do! Embrace the change!

by Kelly Mattei

Green Kool-Aid and Orange Push-ups

Green Kool-Aid and Orange Push-Ups.

The NFL Draft had me thinking about Kool-Aid. Yes, I was thinking about the football player, Kool-Aid McKinstry, and his deal with Kool-Aid brand beverage mix, but while I watched the Draft, I was also on the phone with a friend, and we started talking about the original Kool-Aid drink mix.

I cannot even tell you the last time I actually drank Kool-Aid, but when I was a kid, it was a staple at our house. I’m sure it was cheap, and that’s why my mother let us have it. Plus, it was easy to store the little packets without using up much room in the pantry. We would get to pick our own flavor packet(s) at the grocery store. Grape was always a safe flavor, and I feel like orange was pretty safe too. We didn’t branch out much, because if we picked a bad flavor, we were stuck with it until we went to the grocery store with Mother the next week. However, there was one time of year that we always had a different flavor.

For some reason, at our church, they always seemed to serve green Kool-Aid at Vacation Bible School during the summer. At the time, I thought it was lime flavored, but maybe it was lemon-lime? I can’t find any record of plain lime flavor. Whenever I think of VBS, I think of green Kool-Aid served in tiny, paper Dixie Cups and orange Push-Ups. No, not exercise pushups, but the sherbet treat that appears to be served in a toilet paper roll. If you were a kid when I was a kid, you know what I’m talking about. However, I’m not sure if my college-age daughter has ever even seen one! She’ll be home in a week; I’ll have some Push-Ups in the freezer when she gets home. If she doesn’t like them, I can make cocktails with them later.

So I was talking with my friend, named Kelli with an “i,” about VBS, and she reminded me that, not only did we have the Kool-Aid and Push-Ups at VBS, but we also had butter cookies! Remember butter cookies? You know, the ones that were shaped like little flowers with the hole in the middle? We would each get two or three at VBS and hold them on our fingers until we were ready to eat them. I hadn’t thought about those in years until Kelli mentioned them, but now, I have to go purchase some. They’re made by Lil Dutch Maid, and it appears they are sold in Publix for $1.25 for an 11 ounce package. No wonder they served them at VBS…they were cheap. Thinking about it, I realize now that the church was giving us the cheapest possible snacks they could give! It was the 1970s. If they tried to serve the same items today, it’s likely some moms would complain about “too much sugar” or “too much artificial flavoring/coloring.” In the 1970s, no one cared about that. Everything had artificial flavoring, and we lapped it up! Moms didn’t shop for “organic” foods…not where I lived, anyway. We were able to get fresh fruits and vegetables from local farms at the farmer’s market, so everything we ate wasn’t “bad,” but it was at VBS! Of course, this was the same era when you could toss just about anything into a Jell-O mold and call it a salad.

As usual, I find myself reliving my childhood, but this time, I will be reliving it through Kool-Aid, Push-Ups, and butter cookies. When I stop to pick up the lemon-lime Kool-Aid packets, I also hope I’ll find the limited edition Black Cherry Blitz Kool-Aid that was recently released as part of a merchandising deal with Kool-Aid McKinstry after his draft by the New Orleans Saints!

I suppose I can make cocktails with Black Cherry Blitz or Lime Kool-Aid! Do I mix them with vodka? Prosecco? I might be on to something here!

by Kelly Mattei

I Have Fallen in 39 States

I have fallen in 39 states.

OK, that might be an exaggeration, but probably not by much. I like to claim it’s not that I’m clumsy; maybe I just have bad spacial awareness? In reality, I think we all fall sometimes, but the women on my daddy’s side of the family seem more “predisposed” to falling for some reason.

A couple of years ago, I fell down the stairs in a restaurant in New Orleans…right in front of God and everybody! The result? Nothing. No broken bones. I remember another fall outside a bar in Gainesville, Florida, when I went down for an Alabama/Florida football game some years ago. Again…stairs. These were metal stairs on the outside of the bar. As we were leaving, I was holding the handrail, and that’s probably what kept me from literally dying when I slipped on the stairs. My feet still flew up into the air, but my hand kept me tethered to the rail, and the left side of my legs slammed back down onto those metal stairs. Oh my, the bruising! It was awful! But nothing was broken, and eventually, it was a distant memory. Now that I think about it, stairs seem to be the theme.

Earlier this week, I was reminded of those tumbles when I fell again! This time, I was home. I had gone upstairs to get some papers off the printer. We have been having some work done in our house, so I put a big box across the foot of our stairs to keep the dogs from going upstairs. I was walking down the stairs with my phone in one hand and the papers in the other. I tried to step over the box at the bottom of the stairs, but I guess I didn’t raise my foot high enough. It felt like it was in slow motion…my legs got all tangled up with the box, and I faceplanted into the foyer floor. Bam! In reality, it wasn’t an official “faceplant,” because I kept my face from hitting the floor, but my left elbow also dug into my ribs. After a brief second, I thought, “Is anything broken?” I felt like I had escaped unscathed…until later, when I knew I had done some rib damage with that elbow. It’s painful, and over the past couple of days, it has been difficult to roll over in bed, but I have faith that it will improve.

When I texted my friend, Jennifer, in Ohio, and told her about the fall, she texted back, “Were you hurt?” I replied, “Not badly.” She sent back laughing emojis, and said, “Since you’re not really hurt, I can’t stop laughing! I can see it in my mind!” She had been witness to the New Orleans fall, so it was probably pretty easy for her to conjure up that memory.

I have heard people say, when they are having a string of bad luck, that they are going to stay home to avoid injury. I’m here to tell you, “It doesn’t work that way.” You can still get hurt in the comfort of your own home. I remember my mother stepping over a baby gate and breaking her arm…like really breaking it…she had to have surgery. So yes, injuries can happen in the safety of your own home, for sure. Can an airplane fall onto your house? Well, it’s not likely, but it has happened. It’s probably more likely these days that an airplane part will fall off a particular brand of plane, but I digress.

Here’s the moral of the story: be careful, even at home! Make sure your foot clears that baby gate or box. Take care not to slip in the shower. Don’t walk around in sock feet, unless you’re wearing non-slip socks like the ones you can get at Amazon here. And if you’re going to be accident prone, maybe someone will catch a fall on video, so you can submit it to one of those TV shows and win some money for your fall!

Maybe I need to pull the security footage in our foyer!

by Kelly Mattei

Imposter Adult

Imposter adult.

When my college-age daughter was home for the holidays, at some point, she asked me if I feel old. I laughed. I’m 56, which I don’t really consider “old,” but I know anyone over 30 seems old to her. I told her the truth: No, I do not feel old. Sometimes I feel just like I did at her age. Other times, I want to be in my pajamas at 6pm. But overall, I don’t even really feel like an adult. A friend recently posted on Facebook, “People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.” I get you, girl.

I feel like an imposter as an adult.

I know other people have experienced “imposter syndrome,” because there’s a name for it. I think lots of people feel like imposters at work. I never really felt like an imposter when I worked outside the home, and I don’t really feel like an imposter as a mom. I simply feel like as an imposter as an adult.

When I told my daughter this, she gave me one of those sideways looks. She probably said, “Bruh,” even though I’m her mom and not her “bruh.” (It seems to be the word of the moment. I’m still using “dude,” but I guess I need to try to switch to “bruh.”) I went on to explain to her what I meant: I still have a young attitude, for the most part. I still like to try to jump and touch things that appear unreachable. That beam across a ceiling in a parking garage? I want to try to jump and touch it. I’m just a couple inches over five feet, so it’s usually a stretch, but at 56, I still like to try! I love rollercoasters. I hate going to the grocery store. I like to do cannonballs into the pool. I like to go to college bars. I like to stay up late, even though I, generally speaking, don’t want to stay out late. I want to go to speakeasies. I like to go to concerts. I still understand why teenagers and college students enjoy the things they do. I don’t necessarily have to join in on a game of beer pong (even though I have before), but I understand why they enjoy it. Most of all, I love good energy, and I love to laugh. There’s not a lot of fun in adulting. Bills? Responsibilities? I take care of business, but I prefer not to think about those responsibilities all the time.

Do I know I’m not 21 anymore? Yes. Do I sometimes feel like I’m 21? You bet! Would I go back to being 21 again? Maybe. I wouldn’t go back any younger than that, but I would probably be willing to go back to 21. It would be a lot more fun if I could go back to 21 with the “wisdom” I have at 56. I could avoid some of the mistakes I made along the way. Or would I? Those mistakes are part of who I am. They taught me valuable lessons.

Even with all that “wisdom” and those “valuable lessons,” I still feel like a little girl playing grownup most of the time. My parents simply seemed so much more grown up than I do…in my mind, anyway. Perhaps they felt like they were imposters as adults too? I never asked, and they’re no longer with us.

Shout out to all my fellow imposters!

by Kelly Mattei

Moms After Christmas Day (again!)

Moms after Christmas Day (again!).

Two years ago, I wrote a piece the day after Christmas titled Moms After Christmas Day. You can see it here. It’s recognition of all the extra work moms do during the holidays…the list-making, the shopping, the wrapping, the cooking, the baking, the scheduling…and that’s in addition to our regular roles! Lots of moms even take on extra part-time jobs just to make Christmas happen for their families. And no matter how old our children get, moms still want the holidays to feel special.

My husband and I have one daughter. She’s 20 now and a sophomore in college, so Christmas at our house looks a lot different than it did 15 years ago. It’s still fun, but it’s fun in a different way. And you know what? There’s still a lot of preparation that goes into it. As the mom of the house, I still do all the preparation. I’m fortunate to have a sweet husband who will help me upon request, but truthfully, the ultimate responsibility of the holiday is mine. I orchestrate everything. I purchase everything. I wrap everything. I cook everything. I even play bartender! Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy every minute of it. I really do. I finally feel like I have everything planned out in advance now, so I don’t end up dropping the ball on anything. I wrap the gifts as I purchase them, and I love wrapping and making bows…it gets me into the spirit of the holiday. And the meal prep? Well, I even got that right this year! In fact, this year, the timing of the meal even worked out perfectly! We weren’t waiting for biscuits to finish baking. We weren’t waiting for any particular dish to be ready. Somehow, I managed to make it happen on time! And after the meal? I directed the cleanup efforts…and the whole family participated! One cleared the table. One loaded the dishwasher. One put away everything else.

And today? The day after Christmas? I have rested. It’s raining, so I have the perfect excuse to stay in my pajamas. In fact, right now, it’s 3:40pm, and I am still in my pajamas. Am I embarrassed about that? Not one bit. In fact, I’m a little bit proud that I have been lazy after being so busy for the holidays. In fact, it’s my gift to myself. I have watched a little television. I have talked on the phone. Well, I have done two loads of laundry, but that’s all the work I have done…and frankly, because I enjoy doing laundry, it’s not really work at all. There aren’t many household chores I enjoy, but I do enjoy doing laundry…including ironing or steaming. Just don’t ask me to vacuum.

Our daughter is out and about this afternoon. That’s a lot different than just a few years ago when the new toys were still exciting. I do regret that she didn’t get any toys this year. In fact, she told me a college friend’s mom insists that everyone in the family should get at least one toy every year. I love that! The friend got a pogo stick this year, and I immediately wished I had gotten one for our daughter! She was quite good at pogo back in the day, so it would be fun to see her do it again. So my daughter and I have made a pact that all of us will get at least one toy next year. We will see what we come up with!

Today has been a lazy day, but tomorrow, I will hit the ground running. There are more things to prepare for before the New Year’s celebration, including a big party on the 30th, so there won’t be any laziness tomorrow! Until then, I’ll be searching for the next movie to stream. Or maybe I can watch a few episodes of some favorite old shows? First, though, I’m taking a shower and putting on some real clothes. It’s time.