Category / daughter

by Kelly Mattei

Take a Car to College?

Take a car to college?

Our daughter is a sophomore in college about 450 miles away from home. Last year, when she was a freshman, we sent her with her car. Her university does not discourage freshmen from bringing cars, and honestly, we are a driving family. We are people who like to “have our own horse.” Is it control? Maybe. I don’t need to control everyone else, but I do need to control me, and well…the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

The Facebook Parent Pages

Ahhh…the Facebook parent pages…a great source of entertainment. If you have a child who will be attending college soon or is presently attending college, all you have to do is go to the parent pages for the university to see every possible opinion on every possible topic you can imagine. Questions I never even considered asking pop up daily, and often, I get a good laugh. The latest entertainment on the parent pages for my daughter’s college is the discussion of cars on campus. One parent from out-of-state posted, asking if other parents had an opinion about their child taking a car freshman year. You can imagine the responses! Or can you?!? Holy smokes!

Some parents said they didn’t think any child needed to take a car to college. Several said, “I recommend no car.” Others said, “I think no child should take a car freshman year.” Bah humbug! I didn’t say anything in response, but I was thinking, “You do your thing, and I will do mine.” Some complained about parking issues. My daughter lived on campus last year and is living on campus again this year…no issues with finding parking so far. Yes, I had to purchase a $400 parking permit for fall and a $265 one for spring, but that goes with the territory. I actually feel pretty good about that, since it also offers roadside assistance anywhere on campus. Her university definitely doesn’t discourage freshmen from bringing cars. Heck, her university built a parking deck just for the girls who lived in her freshman dorm! Several parents on the parents page were like me and said they sent their kids with cars. One said, “I’m so glad mine has her car!” Amen, sista! Me too! Does that mean I think parents who don’t send cars with their kids are making a mistake? Nope. Nope. Nope. I will say it louder for those in the back: You do your thing, and I will do mine. Clearly, we all do things differently, and you know what? That is absolutely OK.

Do I think a car is a necessity at my daughter’s college? No. Will students survive without it? You bet. Mine would survive without it, but as my mother would ask, “Is that what you want her to do? Survive? Don’t you want her to thrive?” I know having a car is not important to everyone. I have a friend whose daughter didn’t even learn to drive until she had graduated from the University of Florida. It simply wasn’t important to her. Our daughter, however, is happier if she has a car. She is her mother’s daughter. You know how couples have code words for getting out of parties or social situations? You know…your husband somehow works “unicorn” or “confetti” into a sentence at a party, and you know he’s ready to go? Well, in our family, we look at our cars as our own “way out” when we need it. Cars are our mode of transportation, but they are also our “escape.”

Another reason for her to take a car? Our daughter undoubtedly has more driving experience than most people her age. She probably has more driving experience than people who are several years older than she is! Before she got her license, she had 120 driving hours, double the required amount in the state of North Carolina. I insisted that she have double the hours so she would feel comfortable behind the wheel of the car. In the four years that she has had her license, she has likely driven 100,000 miles. Therefore, I trust her instincts and reflexes better than I trust most other people’s instincts and reflexes. Personally, I would rather she drive herself than ride with most other people. For us, there is also the question of how to get back and forth to the airport without a car. The airport is about 45-50 minutes from her university. If she doesn’t have a car, she becomes dependent on friends or a car service that only books as groups on busy days, meaning she, potentially, could have to wait up to two hours after her flight arrives. Nope. For me, that is not an option. I want her to be able to get off the plane, into a car, and back to school as efficiently as possible. And depending on friends to do it? Well, if the friend is not on the exact same flights on the outbound and return, then it might not work out. Even if the friends are scheduled on the same return flight, they might miss a connection (we live in a hub city with nonstop flights, so we won’t), and then there’s a problem. That’s just not something I’m willing to worry about, especially since sending her car is not a hardship on us.

Maybe parents should make a list of pros and cons if they have trouble deciding. It was an easy decision for us, but if I had to make a list of pros and cons for us, I guess it could look like this:

  • Pro: she can get anywhere she wants when she wants
  • Pro: she doesn’t have to ask other people for a ride or take a shuttle service to the airport
  • Pro: she feels more independent
  • Pro: we don’t worry as much about her driving as we would if she were riding with someone else.
  • Pro: she’s happy
  • Pro: she can drive to visit friends or family in other cities (or at other universities) when she wants
  • Con: finding parking for some people, but it hasn’t been an issue for her at all

Honestly, for us, the pros definitely outweigh the cons. I can’t think of another con.

The moral of the story? If you are considering sending your child to college with a car, and the college/university is OK with it, you do what is best for your family. ***If your student’s university discourages it or doesn’t allow freshmen to bring cars, obviously, they shouldn’t take a car.***We all think differently. You might not want to have to worry about the car. You might not want to have to worry about the kid with the car. You might not want to buy the parking pass. Maybe you can’t afford a car to send with your child. Whatever…everyone has their own reasons for doing what they do. That’s one of the great things about parenting: we all make our own decisions based on our own experiences and our own beliefs.

If your student takes a car, I do recommend that he/she has the Life360 app on his/her phone. Browse their plans to see which one works best for your family. My daughter was in an accident last year, and Life360 dispatched police and called her to see if Medic was needed. Life360 also offers roadside assistance with upgraded memberships. Also, I like having extra “roadside assistance” options. I recommend a AAA membership for peace of mind when roadside assistance is needed. AAA follows the member, so even if she is in someone else’s car and needs roadside assistance, they will help. See the AAA website here.

Bottom line: I took a car to college, so I see nothing wrong with my child having hers. We believed she would be happier with a car to drive. Therefore, we sent the car with her. End of story.

****Amended to add that we have set rules for the car:

  • NO ONE else drives it, unless it’s an emergency situation (like my daughter is incapacitated)
  • Try to park under/near a light
  • Call me if any dashboard lights come on
  • Never let the gas tank get below 1/2 tank
  • Know where the wheelocks are
by Kelly Mattei

MORE College Cocktail Dresses

MORE College Cocktail Dresses.

If you’re the mom of a college girl, you know the importance of great dresses at low prices. I’m trying to save you some time and lots of money by finding great dresses that the girls are likely to wear at great prices. Here are some more choices:

  • Dore Mini. This red number is great for the parties in fall/winter or even at the holidays, and right now, it’s only $50!!! Yes, you read that right. It’s normally $198 but on deep discount. I just ordered one for my daughter. Get it while they last here.
  • Angel Strapless Midi. This one is a classic pillar-style. It’s awesome at just $72 and is offered in several colors. Click here.
  • Superdown Rockie Mini. This one has a different shape than most one-shoulder minis, and it comes in three colors: green, red, and navy. It’s a fitted style and is priced at $32 for green, or just $68 for red or black. *I have found the girls tend to like the Superdown brand, and it’s usually a bargain. See it here.
  • Katya Mini Sequin. When my daughter wore this to a party last year, I was shocked. It’s not normally her style, but she looked great, and she said she felt great. Normally $198, it’s priced at just $40 in burgundy and $187 in midnight blue. Get it here.
  • BCBGeneration Cocktail. A cute, long-sleeve, champagne-colored dress with tie-detail at the side. At just $63, you can’t afford not to get it. Purchase here.
  • Superdown Rachelle Dress. Another one from Superdown for just $71, this black dress has ruching and a classic style. Purchase here.
  • OW Celine mini. Chocolate Brown? Yes, please! This dress is a great style, but it’s also an unusual color that is flattering on lots of skin tones! Priced at just $89. Get it here.
  • Amanda Uprichard Salma Dress. Finding an Amanda Uprichard dress for $90 is almost unheard of, but that’s how much this awesome one-shoulder black mini is! Get it here.
  • Saffron Mini. Need a little sparkle? This black sequined, long-sleeve mini is perfect! And the price? Just $92 (originally $248). Get it here.
  • Camo Dress. Hint: it’s not camouflage. I don’t know why they call it the camo dress, but it’s cute and stylish! It’s also offered in eight colors, starting with “lime” for $104. Other colors are higher, but still under $150. Get it here.

There are ten more great dresses at awesome prices! Happy shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

College Cocktail Dresses, Part 4 (Amazon)

College Cocktail Dresses, Part 4 (Amazon)

For Part 4, I decided to find some good dresses on Amazon. Anyone with Amazon Prime membership knows the benefits of ordering from Amazon…free shipping, easy returns, etc. If I need something quickly, I often order from Amazon. Plus, some of these prices are so great that you won’t get upset if she only wears it once! Without further ado…I bring to you…cocktail dresses from Amazon:

  • Pretty Garden Short Satin Dress. This one is super cute and comes in lots of colors. Priced at only $53.99, maybe you’ll get more than one? I tend to do that…when I find something I like, I get it in lots of colors. See this great short dress here. Or you can find the same basic dress from Zesica here for only $45.99. However, I prefer the colors on the Pretty Garden listing, but that’s just personal preference.
  • BTFBM Satin Maxi Dress. $35.99??? This awesome dress starts at just $35.99. It’s a maxi with a gorgeous halter neck that comes in 13 different colors, with each color priced differently, but the wine color is $35.99. All the others are under $55. See them all here.
  • BTFBM One Shoulder Ruched Mini. It’s not sparkly, but it’s gorgeous with one sheer sleeve. Priced at just $36.99, this dress comes in 15 colors, so pick one or two or three at this price! Purchase here.
  • Lyaner Satin Mini Tank Dress. I have actually seen this style on several girls over the past year. It’s another one that’s offered in 15 colors and priced right at just $38.99. Purchase here.
  • Pretty Garden One Shoulder Long Dress with slit. Need a full-length dress? This one could be the answer! Priced at just $52.99, it’s offered in lots of colors. Purchase here.
  • Wenrine Women’s Mesh Long Sleeve Square Neck dress. This dress is flattering for lots of body types, and the long, sheer sleeves give it a more fall/winter look for cooler months. Priced at just $39.99, this one comes in lots of colors, some of which are great for now, and some of which are perfect for fall/winter/holiday. The square neckline gives it something different. See it here.
  • Caracilia Satin Maxi. Another long dress, this one is a classic and priced under $45. See it here.
  • Lots of dresses on Amazon. If none of the above feature what you’re looking for, you can see lots of offerings on Amazon here.

Happy Shopping! Get those dresses now, so she won’t panic at the last minute!

by Kelly Mattei

College Cocktail Dresses, Part 3

College Cocktail Dresses, Part 3.

Here’s the third installment of the series, featuring cocktail dresses for college students. This one features ten dresses of varying lengths, colors, styles, and prices. Let’s go shopping! If you haven’t found anything yet, don’t fret! There will be more coming tomorrow! (I need to watch football today.)

  • L’Idee Gala Mini. Want a different color? Try this dress in Sunset! Regularly priced at $350, this one is on sale for $123! Very popular style. See it here.
  • Show Me Your Mumu Jasmine Dress. A popular halter-style dress that comes in lots of colors and is priced under $150. See yellow and pink here. See it in black here. Ivory here. And a lovely bellini color here.
  • NBD Lila Gown. This full-length dress also comes in several colors. See it in champagne ($122) here. Mauve pink ($194) here. Or navy ($228) here.
  • Blaine Mini Dress. This one is a steal at $30! Long sleeves, ruching, mini. Get it in red or teal here. Great for fall or holiday!
  • Montrose Mini. This one is offered in glorious purple or pink. At $111, you almost have to get it. See it here. I could totally see my daughter in the purple.
  • Kerrie Deep V Mini. Priced at just $70, this dress comes in pink or green. Super cute! See it here.
  • Joyce Mini Dress. This cheetah print, long sleeve number is on final sale for $42 (orig $168) at Revolve. See it here.
  • Amelia Gown. This black, full-length gown is beautiful and on sale for $153! See it here.
  • Old Money Gown. With a plunging neckline and tiered skirt, this black gown is simply gorgeous. Originally $325, it’s on sale now for $195. Purchase here.
  • Lovers and Friends Lazo Gown. This one is on sale for $188. It’s red, and it’s dramatic. Purchase here.

Happy Shopping! Come back tomorrow for more suggestions!

by Kelly Mattei

College Cocktail Dresses, Part 2

College Cocktail Dresses, Part 2.

Y’all seemed to have liked the first part of this “series,” so I wanted to get the second part out there quickly! More college cocktail dresses! As I mentioned before, I am featuring dresses I have seen college girls wear over the last year, and I’m trying to pick dresses I think they would wear. I’m also trying to keep the price point down, because we all know that, because of social media, our girls only want to wear a cocktail dress once. After they post a picture in a dress, they can’t post another picture in the same dress!

So here we go…more cocktail dresses!

  • Amanda Uprichard Arial Gown. This full-length gown is offered in several colors at different prices, but the blush one is $193…a great price for Amanda Uprichard. Also offered in pink, black, thyme, and fire…all at different prices. Purchase here. The fire version is $251 and can be seen here.
  • Amanda Uprichard Joanne Dress. This one is a winner. Its a style I have seen several times and seems to flatter almost everyone. Priced at $104, it’s a deal. The color is great too. Purchase here.
  • Lovers and Friends Poppy Mini. This one is priced higher at $269 (reg $359), but it’s a dazzling long-sleeve number in navy. Check it out here.
  • Superdown Sophie Draped Long Sleeve Mini. Offered in eight colors with prices starting as low as $32 for the Kelly Green version. See it here.
  • Indah Anjeli Maxi. Priced at $145, this maxi is a lovely fuschia with a deep-V neckline. Purchase here.
  • Superdown Harlow Mini. Definitely a mini, this is offered in red, pink, green, or white, starting at $68 here. Or see it in black here.
  • Song of Style Tucker Mini. This long-sleeve shimmering mini is glorious! My daughter wore it once, and she loved it. Priced at just $107, she’ll look like a million bucks! See it here.
  • Show Me Your Mumu Shimmy Mini. This black sequined dress has one shoulder with one long sleeve, so it’s different. Priced at $134. Purchase here.
  • BCBGeneration One Shoulder Cut Out Dress. Slightly conservative, this one is priced right at $44! See it here.
  • Michael Costello Cecelia Gown. Starting at $149 for the pink version, this dress is also offered in white and black for $177. It’s a gown that’s great for the tall girls out there! See it here.

More to come! Part 3 will be out with more dresses within 24 hours!

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Initiation Dresses

Sorority initiation dresses.

Congratulations! Your daughter has pledged a sorority. She is excited. You sent her a bid day gift, and she likely went on the pledge retreat.

Now what?

You should receive information soon about how to pay the bills. You should receive information about the chapter’s parent page on Facebook. And you likely need to get a white dress for your daughter to wear for initiation. At most schools in the south, sorority initiation occurs in late September or October. You will likely receive information about the date soon. Most sororities require a white dress, so find out if your daughter’s is one of them…and go ahead and order it! After initiation, they can hang onto the dress and possibly use it for Pref Night during recruitment next year! ***First, make sure they need a white dress, and find out if it needs to cover shoulders or not.***

Here are some great options from Amazon that won’t break the bank:

  • From Zesica at $49.99, a tiered white dress. Purchase here. (below)

  • Also from Zesica, at $45.59, a midi dress with shoulder ties. Purchase here. (below)
  • From Soly Hux, a flowy maxi dress, at $47.99. Purchase here. (below)
  • From Febriajuice, at $39.98, a maxi with spaghetti straps. Purchase here. (below)
  • From Exchic, a round neck, short-sleeve dress that covers the shoulders, priced at $27.85. Purchase here. (below)
  • For more options on white dresses at Amazon, click here.

Happy Shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

Mom, I Feel Terrible

Mom, I feel terrible.

If you followed me last year, you know that in September, I received a call from my daughter, and the first words out of her mouth were, “Mom, we’ve been in an accident.” I was in the Bahamas, and she had flown home from college for the weekend. It was not the call I wanted to receive. Fortunately, everything turned out fine.

She is now in her sophomore year and has been back at school since August 2…about four weeks. She had to go back early to prepare for sorority rush for a week before actual rush the following week. In the middle of rush week, I received a late night phone call. When I picked up the phone, she immediately sad, “Mom, I feel terrible.” I could hear that she was trying to choke back tears, so I jumped out of bed and went to the loveseat in the keeping room off our kitchen, so I could talk with her without disturbing my husband. By the sound of her voice, I knew she really felt terrible.

It broke my heart. If you’re a mom who has ever had to deal with a sick child far away, you get it. It’s absolutely heartbreaking to hear your tearful child telling you had badly she feels. I looked at the clock: 12:35am. And I started asking questions. “What’s wrong? Is it your stomach? Where does it hurt? Do you have fever?” You know…all the questions you ask when you are a mom. I seriously considered just getting in the car and going down to her university 450 miles away, but I had taken some sleep meds, so that wasn’t an option. It might have been an overreaction if I had done it, too.

She explained that she was experiencing nausea and chills. First, I needed to make sure it wasn’t appendicitis. I asked if she had pain in her lower abdomen. No, just nausea. I told her to lie on her left side and extend/flex her right hip. No pain. I told her to stand up for just a minute and jump up and down. No pain. Since I felt pretty sure it wasn’t appendicitis, I recommended she take some nausea meds. I asked, “Can you check your temperature before you do that, though?” “I don’t have a thermometer.” What?!?!?!?! I know I sent one last year, and I thought it was still in her medicine box, but I guess not. Note to self: send the girl a thermometer.

She was sick for a few hours…like really sick. I went back to my bed to grab my pillow and a blanket to take to the sofa and kept her company over the phone while she sat in the bathroom floor. Poor baby. It is so hard to know your child is sick so far away! She finally went back to bed and fell asleep at about 4:00am. I encouraged her to sleep most of the next day, even though she would miss one day of rush festivities. She was exhausted and did not argue with me. No one else living with her ever got it, so maybe it was foodborne? (When she felt better, I talked with her about making sure food is cooked properly…and how, in a restaurant, if the food isn’t really hot, don’t eat it.) We will likely never know, but I do know I need to make sure her medicine box has everything she needs! Wondering what that might be? Here are some suggestions:

  • Thermometer. Honestly, I always knew mercury thermometers were accurate, but we can’t get them anymore. I don’t always trust a digital thermometer, but to see the one I trust most, click here.
  • Band-Aids. I prefer actual Band-Aid brand. I like to have some blister Band-Aids and some flexible fabric ones. See a variety here.
  • Tylenol and Motrin. They need both. Tylenol is good for fever and headaches. Motrin is great for body aches and inflammation.
  • Flonase.This is my go-to when we have sniffles or cold symptoms. It doesn’t make me sleepy like some cold meds, but you can take it in conjunction with your preferred cough and cold meds. Order here.
  • Benadryl tablets. If your college student thinks he/she is having a mild allergic reaction, Benadryl can halt the reaction. Get tablets here.
  • Benadryl cream or spray. Insect bites? We use Benadryl cream and/or spray for wasp stings, bee stings, ant bites, even mosquito bites. Get cream here and spray here.
  • OFF insect repellent. Two people in Alabama died recently from Equine Encephalitis. Since our daughter is in college there, I sent her some OFF! Spray and told her to use it. Get it here. I will be taking some in a spritz bottle with me when I vacation in Panama in October. Get the spritz bottle here.
  • Tums and Pepto-Bismol. Get Tums here. Get Pepto here.
  • Cough and Cold Meds. Since everyone seems to have their own preferences on this, I’m not going to recommend a certain brand. Just make sure your college students has some cough and cold meds on hand.
  • Alcohol wipes. Get them here.

Basically, you want to make sure they have anything they might need. And yes, a thermometer is one of those important things…duh!

I hope you don’t ever receive one of those middle-of-the-night calls.

by Kelly Mattei

When Sorority Rush is Over

When Sorority Rush is over.

When sorority rush starts, for the potential new members, it seems as though the week will never end. It’s a week of great fun for some and a week of misery for others…and some fall in between. If your daughter is participating in recruitment, here is something you should know: it will end, and it will be emotional.

No matter how it ends, it’s an emotional time…an emotional rollercoaster. They might be overjoyed. The excitement might be overwhelming! They might be sad. They might even be angry or embarrassed. But emotions definitely run high. Here’s something no one warned me about:

A couple of days after rush is over, almost everyone falls flat.

Last year, my daughter completed recruitment and pledged her favorite house as a freshman. She was thrilled. She was excited. For about two days, it was all she could talk about. And then, about 48 hours after pledging, she called me crying. No, she wasn’t disappointed with her choice. She was thrilled. She was simply feeling down in the dumps. At first, I wondered if it was homesickness, but then I realized it wasn’t that at all…she was simply having a “post-rush letdown.” That’s what I call it anyway. After being “courted” by sorority members during the recruitment process and all the excitement of Bid Day, everything else seems flat. If you’re mentally prepared for it, you know what it is, and you know what to do to fight the “blues.”

I wasn’t prepared for it last year. I’m normally really good about remembering my youth, but I had forgotten about the post-rush letdown, so when my daughter called, I was surprised for a minute…until I remembered. I listened to her tearfully tell me she was sad but didn’t know why. Then, I explained to her what was happening. I told her that what she was feeling was normal, because it is. That level of excitement and happiness she had during rush and on Bid Day simply can’t be sustained. She was bound to crash at some point. I told her to go for a walk in the sunshine. Sunshine helps. I also told her to find one of her new friends and invite her to go with her. Then, I suggested she go to her new sorority house and try to meet new friends. Maybe get some exercise with some of those new friends?

A couple of hours later, she called me sounding like her old self. In fact, she went so far as to cheerfully say, “I love it here!” I knew she had turned the corner, and it was a good thing, because I was on vacation in the Bahamas having a great time!

This year, she participated in rush as a member of a sorority. She was rushing new members all week. She was feeling the excitement again! And on Bid Day, she welcomed the girls she had worked so hard to recruit. She was absolutely thrilled! Fast forward 48 hours, and I received a call. “Mom, I don’t know why, but I’m feeling sad.” This time I knew the answer, “Oh, honey, you’re having post-rush letdown! Remember last year? Remember how 48 hours after it was over you had a little bout of sadness? It’s the same thing! The excitement is over and reality is setting in.” I suggested she get some exercise. Two hours later, she called me laughing and telling me a funny story about something that had happened. She had made it through the post-rush letdown again. I just hadn’t expected her to have the same feeling as a member, but she did, and next year, I will be ready to remind her that it’s going to happen.

Why am I telling you this? Moms, I want y’all to be prepared. And I want you to know that the post-rush letdown is a totally normal thing. That sad feeling will likely pass quickly if your daughter will get some exercise and make an effort to make some more new friends. It’s a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, but just know the sadness will go away with some good coaching from Mom! Stay positive, Mom!

You got this!

by Kelly Mattei

OK, Moms, It’s Sorority Rush Time

OK, moms, it’s sorority rush time!

Sorority rush (also known as recruitment) is getting underway at big schools all over the south. A couple of places have already finished, but lots are just getting started. I remember it well from last year, when our daughter participated in recruitment. Is it fun for the girls? For the most part, yes. Is it stressful for the girls? Sometimes, yes. But I discovered last year that it might be more stressful for the moms. It’s true.

First, let me say that most big, southern schools employ a method that ensures the greatest number of matches. Therefore, at most big schools in the south, the attrition rate during recruitment is relatively low, and girls dropping out on their own account for a large percentage of the attrition. For example, at one large southern school I’m familiar with, about 92% of the girls finish the process with a bid(invitation to join) from a sorority. Of the other 8%, most are people who dropped out on their own. Some had GPAs that didn’t meet the chapters’ requirements. It’s not like it was back in the 80s or even the 90s…girls aren’t just getting dropped left and right, all willy nilly, and at this particular school, no one gets dropped after Preference round, which is the last night of recruitment. If you make it to Preference, you are guaranteed a bid somewhere.

With that out of the way, let’s talk about how Mom feels during the process. Mom, you might feel stressed. You might feel numb. You might feel out-of-the-loop. You might feel helpless. And all of that is OK. You feel what you feel. It’s hard to be away from your daughter when she is going through something stressful. I was talking with a friend earlier, and we discussed what we would put in a Mom’s rush bag, if there were such a thing. Maybe you’ll want to create one from this list? You can keep it next to your favorite chair:

  • Aromatherapy Shower Steamers. Make your shower/bathroom feel like a spa with scents like lavender, rose, mint, and more! It’s relaxing. See them here.
  • Olly Sleep. If you’re having trouble sleeping, maybe some melatonin will help. I love Olly Sleep gummies. Check with your doctor before taking supplements. Purchase here.
  • Bath Pillow. A hot bath can be very relaxing, but only if you’re comfortable in your tub. A bath pillow can make a big difference. Get it from Amazon here.
  • Easy read. Throw yourself into a good book. If you want to read an easy-to-read novel about rush, there’s Rush by Lisa Patton at Amazon here.
  • Relaxing Face Mask. Forcing yourself to relax with a face mask is a great thing. I prefer ones containing lavender, but you might like others. Choose one here.
  • Favorite healthy snacks. I think every mom needs to have some healthy snacks handy, but especially when times are stressful. Drop some of your faves in your “mom rush bag.”

Last year, I had several friends whose daughters were participating in recruitment at the same time mine was. We would talk, and often, we had different stories to share. We didn’t tell each other which houses/chapters our daughters were visiting, but we did share anecdotes…like when one of our daughters almost walked out of her dorm and to a sorority houses wearing two different shoes. Another girl sat in gum between parties. We all shared some laughs, but if one mom cried, we all cried. If one mom was being particularly funny, we all laughed. Thank God we had each other to lean on.

The recruitment process is not easy. There’s so much anxiety…daily anxiety. Add in the pure exhaustion that comes from walking from house to house in summer heat. Add in the emotional exhaustion. It’s a lot. Plus, many of the girls are away from home for the first time.

But here’s one thing to remember when talking to your daughter:

Never let her see you sweat.

If your daughter calls you crying, resist the urge to jump into the pool of tears with her. It’s easy to dive right in there, but your daughter needs you to be strong for her. She needs you to be the voice of reason. Personally, at our house, if I can hold myself together, everyone else does too. So remember that if your daughter calls you crying one morning after receiving her invitations for a round, saying she got dropped by her very favorite house. Let her cry for a minute, but remind her that she needs to dry up those tears and put on a happy face for the next house. She needs to be reminded that the chapters that kept her really want her…they kept her for a reason. She needs to keep moving forward, and you might have to encourage her to do it. Tell her to take a deep breath and “pivot.” She’s going to be OK. (And you are too, Mom.) It might seem like her world is collapsing right now, but it’s not. This is just a blip on the radar. Remind her there are great girls in every chapter; it’s true.

There will be some girls who simply decide sorority life is not for them. Or maybe they just hate the process. Or maybe they have had enough. Whatever the reason, it’s OK to drop out of recruitment, but only after giving it a real effort. Don’t drop out on a whim. And if your daughter simply needs to drop out, you need to assure her that she has to make the best decision for herself.

As for maintaining your own sanity, a glass of wine could be your friend! Or some exercise. Or some sunshine. You got this, Mom.


by Kelly Mattei

It’s Almost Football Season!

It’s almost football season!

Its the most wonderful time of the year…football season! Seriously, we count down every year at our house. We love all kinds of football…high school, college, NFL. We have our favorite teams, but we will watch almost any game. I can’t watch really bad football. If both teams in any game are playing miserably, I have to remove myself from the viewing area of the television. However, I love a good, close game, and I love the spirit of competition!

I have lots of good memories tied up in football. No, I never played. I’m 5’2″ on a tall day. Plus, I’m tough, but I’m not that tough. However, I have lots of great memories from throughout my life that are related to football. One of the greatest games I have ever attended was the Alabama-Miami Sugar Bowl for the National Championship at the end of the 1992 season. To me, it was one for the ages. My team, the Alabama Crimson Tide, was the definite underdog to the powerhouse University of Miami Hurricanes. I went to the game in the New Orleans Superdome expecting to lose, but I was pleasantly surprised that, not only did we win, we pulled off a huge upset, winning 34-13.

As football season approaches every year, we start stocking up on apparel. My daughter is in college at Alabama now, so she needs cute gameday dresses and outfits. I like to find my own gameday outfits, but they’re not as important as hers! In addition, our local NFL team, the Carolina Panthers, just recruited a quarterback from Alabama, so she and I both ordered our very own Bryce Young #9 jerseys. It has been a long time since we were really excited about a Panthers team, but we are looking forward to the season this year. We’ll be the ones at games in the Bryce Young jerseys. Ha!

If you’re looking for your own game day apparel, I have ideas for everyone in the family! Check these out:

  • College girls. In the south, our college girls go one of two routes. They either dress up for the games, or they wear football jerseys representing their school. I should mention it’s really hot during most of football season in the south, so comfort is key. Therefore, short dresses without a whole lot of extra sleeve fabric…those are popular. Breezy rompers are popular, as well. There are some great options on Amazon in lots of different colors/patterns. One romper that comes in lots of colors and will be cool on a hot game day can be found here. Need a dress for a hot game? See one here. Another romper that will work great for college girls on a hot day can be seen here…it’s offered in 19 colors! If your team is green (Tulane? Baylor?), see a cute green option for a hot day here. And see a cute white dress in 100% cotton here. Once it’s cooler, you might opt for this great dress here. To see lots of game day inspiration on Amazon, click here.
  • College apparel/fan gear. Need NCAA apparel or fan gear? You can get that at Amazon too by going to the Campus Colors page here. You can find almost anything you need by searching for your favorite team under “shop by college.” If you’re a Bama fan, you can bypass that step and click here. Auburn fans click here. Arkansas Razorbacks? Click here. For more SEC teams, click on the name of the school: Florida, Georgia, LSU,, Ole Miss, South Carolina, Vandy, Missouri, Tennessee, Texas A&M, or Kentucky. For some reason, Mississippi State isn’t featured, so forgive me, my Bulldog friends. Or check out Amazon’s FAN ZONE here to see goods and apparel from lots of different teams and leagues…college and professional. You can even find those obnoxious car flags there!
  • Plastic flask. If you want to take your own alcohol to a tailgate, I have the perfect flask for you. I know none of my readers would sneak their own alcohol into a game to avoid standing in line at a bar or overpaying for alcohol in a stadium, but if you know someone who would (wink, wink), a plastic flask is great, because it won’t set off a metal detector. My personal favorite can be seen here. At only $10, it’s a steal. I also put a LeakLock Toiletry skin over it to ensure it won’t leak. You can get those here.

It’s still hots as blazes in the southeast right now, but football season will be here soon! Be prepared! I can smell the tailgates and bourbon in the air already!