Category / family

by Kelly Mattei

Keep Passing the Open Windows

Keep passing the open windows.

Words to live by, if you understand the meaning behind them. In 1990, my mother gave me a hardback copy of The Hotel New Hampshire by John Irving. I probably wouldn’t have picked it up if I had seen it in a bookstore, but since she gave it to me, I read it. And I loved it. Yes, it’s a weird novel…a little absurd…but it’s good. It’s memorable. If you’ve ever read John Irving, you know he has some pretty crazy ideas in Cider House Rules, A Prayer for Own Meany and The World According to Garp, and The Hotel New Hampshire is no exception. It was also made into a film starring Rob Lowe, Jodie Foster, Beau Bridges, and more, but the film did not do well. In fact, when I met Rob Lowe a few years ago, I mentioned it, and he said, “YOU are the one person who saw it!”

In the novel, the Berry family often uses the catchphrase “keep passing the open windows” to encourage each other to persevere, keep moving forward. It comes from a story the parents tell of a street performer who killed himself by jumping out a window. “Keep passing the open windows” is a phrase they use to tell their kids, when things get bad, keep moving forward. The windows are there, but refrain from jumping through them.

It’s a metaphor. Don’t think I’m saying “keep passing the open windows” to someone considering suicide. That’s a lot more complicated. But smaller issues or problems? “Keep passing the open windows” might be exactly what a friend or family member needs to hear. Persevere. Keep moving forward.

Personally, I have thought of this phrase many times in my life, and I have said it and explained it many times over the years. In fact, I have likely used it several times in the last month! If my daughter calls and tells me she didn’t do well on a test in college, it’s what I say, “Keep passing the open windows.”

Last night, my college football team lost a big game in the playoffs. And you know what I thought? “Keep passing the open windows.” No, I was not contemplating suicide. The loss was simply a blip on the radar of life…nothing big, for sure. Life and death…that’s important. College football games = not important. However, I still needed to manage the disappointment, and for me, the key to managing disappointment (or passing the open windows) is having something else to look forward to all the time. Right now, I have a trip planned with a friend in 10 days, so after my team lost and I knew they wouldn’t be in the National Championship, I turned my attention to the trip I have coming up. I pivoted my attention to that trip! Is it always easy? No, but it’s pretty easy after the minor problem of a football loss, and it’s always a lot easier if I already have something fun planned, so disappointment won’t hit me so hard. It works for me! I’m not one bit sad today about that loss, because I know there’s some fun ahead!

Find your way of passing the open windows when you’re disappointed. It sure makes it easier to keep moving forward.

Keep passing the open windows.

***If you’d like to read some John Irving novels (I highly recommend them!), you can purchase them at Amazon. My personal favorites are A Prayer for Owen Meany (click here), The Hotel New Hampshire (click here), and Cider House Rules (click here).

by Kelly Mattei

Come On Over!

Come on over!

A friend just posted on Facebook that she is happy to be back in her home after living in a hotel for 333 days. Yes,…333 days! A pipe burst on an upper floor in their home on Christmas Day 2022, and they lost most of what they had. In her post, she seemed truly grateful to be spending time in her home again…so grateful, in fact, that they had Thanksgiving on a folding card table using dishes from Dollar Tree. She was determined to have Thanksgiving in her own home, and she did. She also added a reminder to invite people over…telling friends to do it now. Don’t wait until everything is perfect in your home, because it will never be perfect. Have friends and family over now.

I’m sure she has no idea how much I appreciated her words of wisdom. Often, I get lazy or simply forget to invite friends, neighbors, and family over, but I’m going to change that. What am I waiting for? My friend’s “entertain now” theory goes right along with “wear the shiny shoes now,” which I do. Or “use the silver now,” which I also do more often after dining at a friend’s house; she told me she uses hers all the time. Really…what is the point in having something if we don’t use it? If we keep waiting for the perfect time, we will never use it!

Because of my friend’s post, I am planning to invite my friends over more often in 2024. I will invite them for cocktails or lunch or dinner or brunch. I will invite them for coffee or football games or even baseball or basketball games. Can I guarantee I will always serve the best food? No. We might have charcuterie, or we might have steaks. Maybe we will have whatever is in the refrigerator/pantry! Can I guarantee we will have the best wine? No. I can’t even guarantee it will be fun, but it’s likely to be fun, and we are likely to have good conversation. Just know in advance, though, that I might be wearing my shiny shoes and using the real silver…or I might be wearing sweats and using Christmas plates in July…one never knows with me!

If I invite you over in 2024, just know you don’t have to be dressed up. Just come hang out with us. Come laugh with us. And if I don’t invite you? Well, send me a text and invite yourself! We don’t even need to have an occasion. In college, we had a party called “No Occasion Tuesday,” just because. At 56, I look back and think “no occasion” is the perfect reason to get together with friends.

I hope to see lots of friends at our house in 2024!

by Kelly Mattei

Moms After Christmas Day (again!)

Moms after Christmas Day (again!).

Two years ago, I wrote a piece the day after Christmas titled Moms After Christmas Day. You can see it here. It’s recognition of all the extra work moms do during the holidays…the list-making, the shopping, the wrapping, the cooking, the baking, the scheduling…and that’s in addition to our regular roles! Lots of moms even take on extra part-time jobs just to make Christmas happen for their families. And no matter how old our children get, moms still want the holidays to feel special.

My husband and I have one daughter. She’s 20 now and a sophomore in college, so Christmas at our house looks a lot different than it did 15 years ago. It’s still fun, but it’s fun in a different way. And you know what? There’s still a lot of preparation that goes into it. As the mom of the house, I still do all the preparation. I’m fortunate to have a sweet husband who will help me upon request, but truthfully, the ultimate responsibility of the holiday is mine. I orchestrate everything. I purchase everything. I wrap everything. I cook everything. I even play bartender! Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy every minute of it. I really do. I finally feel like I have everything planned out in advance now, so I don’t end up dropping the ball on anything. I wrap the gifts as I purchase them, and I love wrapping and making bows…it gets me into the spirit of the holiday. And the meal prep? Well, I even got that right this year! In fact, this year, the timing of the meal even worked out perfectly! We weren’t waiting for biscuits to finish baking. We weren’t waiting for any particular dish to be ready. Somehow, I managed to make it happen on time! And after the meal? I directed the cleanup efforts…and the whole family participated! One cleared the table. One loaded the dishwasher. One put away everything else.

And today? The day after Christmas? I have rested. It’s raining, so I have the perfect excuse to stay in my pajamas. In fact, right now, it’s 3:40pm, and I am still in my pajamas. Am I embarrassed about that? Not one bit. In fact, I’m a little bit proud that I have been lazy after being so busy for the holidays. In fact, it’s my gift to myself. I have watched a little television. I have talked on the phone. Well, I have done two loads of laundry, but that’s all the work I have done…and frankly, because I enjoy doing laundry, it’s not really work at all. There aren’t many household chores I enjoy, but I do enjoy doing laundry…including ironing or steaming. Just don’t ask me to vacuum.

Our daughter is out and about this afternoon. That’s a lot different than just a few years ago when the new toys were still exciting. I do regret that she didn’t get any toys this year. In fact, she told me a college friend’s mom insists that everyone in the family should get at least one toy every year. I love that! The friend got a pogo stick this year, and I immediately wished I had gotten one for our daughter! She was quite good at pogo back in the day, so it would be fun to see her do it again. So my daughter and I have made a pact that all of us will get at least one toy next year. We will see what we come up with!

Today has been a lazy day, but tomorrow, I will hit the ground running. There are more things to prepare for before the New Year’s celebration, including a big party on the 30th, so there won’t be any laziness tomorrow! Until then, I’ll be searching for the next movie to stream. Or maybe I can watch a few episodes of some favorite old shows? First, though, I’m taking a shower and putting on some real clothes. It’s time.

by Kelly Mattei

Fun Holiday Cocktails for New Year’s Eve

Fun holiday cocktails for New Year’s Eve.

I’m 56 years old. The last thing I want to do for New Year’s Eve is go to a big party with lots of people. Like many people my age, I want to visit with good friends, enjoy a good dinner, and drink a few cocktails before returning home to watch New Year’s Rocking Eve on TV from the safety of my own bedroom. This year, we have a big party to go to on the 30th, so I will be all “partied out” after that. Just give me comfy clothes, good friends, and fun cocktails. I will be happy.

In the past few days, I have looked up recipes for some good, easy cocktails, and I’m sharing them with you now.

  • Sugar Cookie Martini. This is a personal favorite! It tastes like a traditional sugar cookie, but not quite as sweet, and that a good thing, in my opinion. If vanilla vodka is difficult to find, I recommend Pinnacle Whipped Vodka or Pinnacle Cake Vodka…both good substitutes. See the recipe here.
Sugar Cookie Martini photo from Wholefully.com

  • Mistletoe Margarita. I had one of these recently at a friend’s house, and I highly recommend! A little tart like a regular margarita, but with a merrier taste! See the recipe here.
Mistletoe Margarita photo from Delish.com

  • Poinsettia Champagne Cocktail. This is a personal favorite…for the ease, and because I love champagne cocktails. However, I usually substitute Prosecco for the Champagne, simply because of personal preference. For a non-alcoholic version, you can always substitute white sparkling grape juice. See the recipe here.
Poinsettia Champagne Cocktail from thespruceeats.com
  • More cocktails. The ones listed above are my personal faves, but there are lots more out there. I also love Bailey’s on the rocks…super simple, and even soothing! But to see more holiday cocktail ideas, click here. You can get great ideas for cocktails to prepare ahead in a pitcher.

I hope you all plan to enjoy the remainder of the holiday season as much as I do! On Christmas Day, we had some friends over and tried a few of these different cocktails…all were a big hit! And if you want to do something different, maybe try Drunken Cherries! We made batches of them! You’ll need to start them at least 24 hours in advance, but they are super easy, super good…and boozy, so don’t let children have them under any circumstances! See the recipe here. (We used Pinnacle Whipped Vodka and Pinnacle Cake Vodka. We also used melted Andes Mints on some of them for a twist on the flavor!)

Happy Holidays!

Remember, be safe…don’t drink and drive.

by Kelly Mattei

Wrapping Gifts

Wrapping gifts.

I love wrapping Christmas gifts. I am the person who, usually, wraps them as I get them. That way, I’m not all in a kerfuffle on Christmas Eve trying to balance my glass of Prosecco and wrap gifts at the same time. I learned several years ago that wrapping in advance was the way to go, because I fell ice skating on Christmas Eve and broke my wrist but still had gifts to wrap! Try wrapping gifts with a broken wrist! So yes, I try to do it as soon as I walk in the house with the gift.

Throughout life, I haven’t been known for my gift-wrapping skills. My mother made me start wrapping birthday gifts for my friends when I was in kindergarten, but that doesn’t mean I was good at it. When I was in middle school and high school, however, I would purchase gifts at department stores that offered free gift wrap…just show the receipt with the gift and get everything wrapped for free! Ahhh…the good old days, when department stores hired school teachers as temporary gift-wrappers during the holidays. We would arrive at the gift-wrap department to see our teachers working hard behind the counter…tearing paper off the big rolls and speedily wrapping our gifts for our parents.

These days, I love shopping at locally-owned boutiques that offer gift-wrapping services (The Buttercup on Providence Rd in Charlotte!), but I also love wrapping gifts. My skills have improved over the years, but I have never claimed to be really good at it…until now!

Earlier this week, I went to a Favorite Things party, where each attendee brought a wrapped gift…something they love…and put it with all the other gifts. Each person picked a number, and in numbered order, they picked a gift out of the pile. My “favorite thing” contribution to the pile was a book from Southern Living called Southern Cocktails, which you can purchase here. When the recipient picked it up, she remarked that it was beautifully wrapped, and as silly as it sounds, I found myself feeling elated to hear that! I guess my skills have improved over time! I had wrapped it in a vintage-print paper with a red and green hand-tied bow, and I was so proud that you’d have thought I had discovered a cure for polio! Of course, I held in my elation, because how silly would it have been for me to look too proud of my wrapping?!? Once she removed the wrapping, the recipient also loved the book! It has some great recipes for cocktails, so I highly recommend it.

Personally, I have always thought of gift-wrapping as an art. I don’t consider myself an artist, but I think I do a pretty good job! And all my gifts for this Christmas are wrapped, so if you need help with wrapping, and you live in Charlotte, I’m happy to come over and help!

You’ll just need to supply the gifts, the wrapping paper, tape, ribbons, and a bottle of Prosecco.

***My links for Amazon are affiliate links, so I will receive a commission for items purchase through the links.

by Kelly Mattei

Away In A Manger

Away in a manger…

This morning, on “the Facebook,” a friend posted a video of a live nativity scene made up of some adorable children at a church in East Tennessee. The children are dressed as Mary, Joseph, an angel, and some sheep…all gathered around Baby Jesus in the manger. It’s a beautiful scene…right up until one of the sheep steals the Baby Jesus! Honestly, it might make it even more beautiful, because kids will be kids. In the scene, a little girl is portraying a sheep, and I guess she decides Baby Jesus needs to be held. She picks him up and begins swaying to the music with him, until Mary takes him away from her and returns him to the manger…and repeat. You can see the video here.

It reminded me of the live nativity at our church when our daughter was a little girl. It was presented outdoors at our church for two weekends during the Christmas season, and it was, indeed, beautiful. Our daughter, as a toddler/small child, found it fascinating, and she longed to portray Mary. In fact, when she was four, she spent a large portion of the Christmas season pretending to be “Mother Mary,” dressed as Mary with a head veil when we were home. I don’t recall her wearing it in public, but she wore it a lot at home. The days of her pretending to be “Mother Mary” are far behind us, as she is a sophomore in college. As a small child, her great aunt had a nativity scene on a table in her home, and when we gathered for the holidays, she let our daughter place the tiny, ceramic Baby Jesus in the manger before we had lunch. She was thrilled, and even though she did get to portray an angel in a Christmas pageant at a friend’s church when she was six or seven, she never portrayed “Mother Mary” in a live nativity scene.

When I was a little girl, I admired the small, wooden nativity scenes my mother had in our house during the holidays, and I especially remember a live nativity scene at a local church. The Biblical figures were portrayed by adults instead of children, but I remember driving slowly past with my family to see it and being fascinated. I thought it was the most beautiful scene every year.

When our daughter gets home from college for the holidays tomorrow, she will spend her time visiting with friends in town, going on vacation with me, and possibly visiting friends in other cities. However, we will take some time to visit a live nativity scene together, and we’ll drive around and look at Christmas lights throughout the city.

I doubt she will dress as “Mother Mary” this year, though.

***Feature photo is from a beautiful nativity scene in the Iglesia de San Felipe (Church of San Felipe) in Casco Viejo, Panamá City, Panamá.

***In Charlotte, we are fortunate to have the Billy Graham Library, where we can enjoy a live nativity during the holiday season, starting at 5pm, every day except Sunday, through December 23. Tickets are required but are free. For info, click here.

***To see other nativity events in the Charlotte area, click here.

by Kelly Mattei

Last Minute Great Gifts

Last minute great gifts. Still have some shopping to do? Here are some items for everyone on your list. Seriously, I’m trying to make your life easier by providing links, so all you have to do is click and purchase!

  • Push Pin Travel Map. A framed world map made for push pins to mark places visited? Yes, please! If someone on your list is a world traveler, this is a great gift! Purchase here.

  • Doodle Dazzles Shimmer Marker Set. I don’t even know where I saw these, but they are awesome! I like to “doodle” and practice different writing styles, and when I was in college, I would have loved these for personalizing gifts! They make a great stocking stuffer! Purchase here.

  • Scarf ring. Another great stocking stuffer! I was out at breakfast with a friend yesterday, and she was wearing a lovely scarf. The hostess at the restaurant admired it, and it occurred to me that not everyone has a scarf ring! I have some, and now I need to remember to use them! Get them here. Purchase here.

  • Space Heater. Sometimes, we don’t want to heat a whole big space; maybe I just want warm feet? Or maybe I just want a little warmth in the bathroom when I step out of the shower! My mother loved a good space heater when she was watching TV. Purchase here.

  • AirFort. What kid wouldn’t love an easily-inflatable “fort”? I know mine would have loved it when she was a little girl! She might even enjoy it now, and she’s 20! Connect them to a box fan, and they self-inflate! Great for indoor play! They come in lots of different styles…space shuttle, cottage, mushroom…check them out and purchase here.

  • Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask. I just got home from a “favorite things party,” and one of the hot items was a Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask. My daughter has this product and loves it, but now that I know lots of other people love it too, I’m offering you the link! It’s to be applied at bedtime…wake up with soft lips! This makes a great stocking stuffer or gift. Purchase here.

  • Southern Cocktails. For your friend who loves to try new cocktail recipes, this book makes a great gift! Someone gave it to me, and I love it! From the editors of Southern Living. Purchase here.

  • Preseasoned Cast Iron Skillet. Every southerner needs a preseasoned cast iron skillet (or two!). Heck maybe everyone in the world should have one! They can be used stovetop, in the oven, or over a fire! And nothing cooks cornbread, skillet corn, sauteed or pan roasted veggies, or even latkes like a seasoned cast iron skillet! Seriously, if someone on your list doesn’t own one, this makes a great gift. Just make sure they have cleaning instructions, so they don’t mess it up! Get an inexpensive version here. Or support small business with Backcountry brand here.

  • Neroli Soap, Body Wash, and hand cream. I don’t know why, but my favorite scent is orange blossom, also known as neroli. Therefore, I love this soap. Someone gave it to me, and I think it makes a fantastic stocking stuffer! If neroli is not your preferred scent, they offer others. Get it here. Or get the bath gel here. Or hand and nail cream here.

Happy Shopping!

***As an Amazon Associate, I receive commissions on items purchased through the links I provide.

by Kelly Mattei

More Great Gifts for 2023

More great gifts for 2023…

December is here! It’s time to get serious about Christmas shopping! Get the gifts now! If you live in Charlotte and need help wrapping gifts, send me a message. I love wrapping gifts, so I’ll be happy to help if I can! Here are some great gifts:

  • Personalized Neon Sign. This is a great gift for kids, teens, and even great for college students. When our daughter lived in a dorm last year, I saw lots of these in dorm rooms. With prices starting under $30, they are a great personal gift. Highly recommend! Order now, because they are made to order. You pick the size, color, shape, and name, and they’ll make the sign and ship it to you. Delivery time varies by destination. Right now, to have it delivered to Charlotte, it will arrive between December 15 and 21, so serious…don’t wait. Just order it now here.

  • Beanie with Light. Someone on your list spend time outdoors at night? Maybe Dad likes to chop firewood at night? Maybe sis likes to go for a run at night? These beanies are awesome with their built-in headlamps. See great options for all here. Or see a more feminine option with pompom here.

  • Turtleneck Tunic Sweater. I have several of these in black, green, and brown. I love them, obviously. Get one for Mom here. They run true to size.

  • Grabber Tool. Men love gadgets. I don’t know why, but they do. This would be a great gift for my husband or my brother. When my brother was a little boy, his favorite gift ever was probably a flashlight…and I’ll get to one of those next. For now, this grabber tool that offers a magnetic option will be a welcome gift this holiday season. Get it here. He will look for reasons to use it.

  • Superbright Handheld Flashlights. Men and boys love flashlights. This one isn’t a great idea for a young child, because the brightness is extreme, but it’s great for a man who hunts or camps. Heck, my husband doesn’t participate in either of those activities, but he loves a good flashlight to spot animals in trees. Get two in this package. Purchase here.

  • Flashlights for kids. Here are some options for kids. For very young kids, there’s the V-tech spin and learn color flashlight here. For older kids, get the Tokeyla rechargeable flashlight here.

  • Personalized Blanket. For another great personalized gift, a blanket might be a great idea for someone on your list. My daughter has a personalized blanket someone gave her ten years ago, and she still uses it all the time. Order soon to have it delivered by Christmas! Get it here.

  • Personalized Toiletry Kit for Men. This is a great gift for the man in your life, but order now for timely delivery. Purchase here.

  • Satin Pillowcase. This one is inexpensive, but it still helps keep hair smooth and shiny, and it helps keep skin looking younger. Get it here.

  • REST Cooling Comforter. Holy Cow! We got one of these several weeks ago, and I have never slept better! Get it here.

  • US Map Picture Frame. For the traveler on your list, this is a great gift! I’m getting one for our daughter. She has been to lots of states, and I hope to make sure she visits more soon! Place a photo in each state you’ve visited. It’s awesome. Get it here.

HAPPY HOLIDAY SHOPPING!

by Kelly Mattei

Holiday Gifts for the Joe Namath Fan

Holiday Gifts for the Joe Namath Fan.

Lots of my readers love Joe Namath. My posts about his books and my adventure to his hometown of Beaver Falls are consistently the most-read posts on my blog…year after year. I love Joe too. If you’re looking for a gift for a Joe Namath fan on your list, I have some ideas…all of which I would love to receive myself (hint, hint).

  • All the Way: My Life in Four Quarters by Joe Namath. My friend, Linda, gave me this book for my birthday in 2019. Not kidding…I read it straight through in a day. The man has lived a fascinating life. It’s available in paperback, hardback, and even on Audible and Kindle. Highly recommend. Get it here. Or get a signed copy (what a great gift!) here.

  • Joe Namath Facsimile Signed NY Jets Jersey. Any good fan would love a Namath jersey. Can I get one to wear to his restaurant in Florida, in hopes he’ll be there and talk to me?!?! Lol! All kidding aside, this is a great gift at $74.99. Get it here. See other Namath jersey options on Amazon here.

  • Namath: a Biography by Mark Kriegel. Yes, I have read this one too. In fact, I have it in my living room. Another great one with some fun stories about Broadway Joe. Get it here.

  • Joe Namath Poster. Get it framed or leave it unframed. It’s a great gift for a Namath fan. Pricing starts at $15. Get it here.

  • Namath: My Son Joe by Rose Szolnoki. Written by Joe’s mom in 1975, this is a look at Joe Willie from a different perspective. Get it here.

Or check out lots of other Joe Namath gifts here. From bobbleheads to Christmas ornaments and books and posters and more…lots of great Namath merchandise.

Happy Holiday Shopping!

As an Amazon associate, I receive commission on items purchased through these links.

by Kelly Mattei

Have A Gamer On Your List?

Have a gamer on your list?

If so, this video game chair could be the perfect gift! For about $100, the gamer on your list gets a headrest, a footrest, and lumbar support! Get it while supplies last here.