Category / fears

by Kelly Mattei

Was the Balloon Listening?

Was the balloon listening?

If you came here looking for an intelligent op ed piece, you’ve come to the wrong place. Leave now. You will not get any form of intelligence here. In fact, if the balloon that hovered over the US last week listened to phone calls I made, they intercepted a whole different kind of “intelligence.”

Think about that. If “they” were listening to your calls, what would they hear?

Years ago, a friend’s phone was tapped. This was before cellphones were everywhere, and we still used land lines. We were both probably 25-ish. She was married. I was in the dating pool. We talked all the time, and at some point, I realized I would hear strange clicks in the line. Or we would hear a click or two and the call would disconnect. One day, when I called her back after being disconnected, I said, “I think your phone is tapped. This doesn’t happen when I talk to anyone else.” Later, we discovered it was, indeed, tapped. This is when I tell you she had done nothing wrong. I had done nothing wrong. We were just stupid young women talking on a phone line that was tapped for another reason. After we realized it really had been tapped, we wondered aloud to each other, “Can you imagine the frivolous conversations they heard between us?” I still think about it and laugh. They heard me talk about guys I dated. Hopefully, they got a good laugh out of my dating stories, because they could generate some laughs, for sure. They likely heard me talk about going out at night. And they had to listen to endless tales of our work lives. I feel pretty sure the clicks and disconnections were when they hung up to put themselves out of the misery our inane conversations caused them.

However, those calls were undoubtedly more interesting than the phone conversations someone would hear if they listened in on my calls today. What might they hear?

  • On the day I learned about the balloon, they would have heard me call the veterinarian office about our dog’s ear infection. They would have listened to me trying to describe the yuck that I saw and smelled in my dog’s ear. After about 30 seconds of listening to that call, they were likely gagging.
  • Another day, they probably heard me talking with a friend about how we keep telling our college daughters to use the meal plans we have paid for. It’s a struggle. I would have been complaining about the fact that my daughter had a $63 restaurant charge on my credit card for dinner the night before. And that’s on top of the meal I have already paid for in her meal plan! Whoever was listening probably wanted to be my daughter at that point, because it seems she’s living in high cotton (while I’m eating at home every day). However, “they” probably heard me hang up and call my daughter again and remind her I can block her credit card if she keeps pulling that stunt.
  • “They” would have listened to a silly call from my brother, who called to ask me how to say some things in Spanish. If they heard that call, they heard him butcher every Spanish word he tried to repeat. Trust me, it was painful.
  • They could have listened to me on the phone with a friend, singing old TV theme songs. Yes, that really happened. TV show theme songs used to be good…think Gilligan’s Island, The Beverly Hillbillies, Facts of Life, The Brady Bunch, even The Flintstones. Oooh…and because I loved watching shows from before my time: The Patty Duke Show had a great theme song.
  • At some point, I called our daughter at least three or four times to square away the details on an upcoming trip to Miami. I already had my ticket, but she’s flying from a different airport. I was purchasing her ticket, so I needed to make sure I booked flight times that would work for her. Once the tickets were booked, we discussed restaurant reservations. The daughter likely made fun of me at least five times during the call, because that’s what 19-yr-old daughters do, right?
  • After that? A friend called to ask me if I knew where she could get a toenail fungus taken care of. Y’all know a toenail fungus is not easy to cure, right? Sure, you can buy that over-the-counter stuff, and it will improve the appearance, but it won’t cure it. You can take an oral prescription for three months, but it can cause liver damage. Nobody wants liver damage. I will tell you what I told my friend: there are podiatrists that treat it with lasers, and the $1300 treatment works. Don’t ask me how I know. One place to get the treatment is the Carolinas Laser Nail Center; make an appointment here.
  • The friend whose phone was tapped 30 years ago called to tell me about another car mishap. She totaled a car a few weeks ago, and just got a new car. Less than a week after getting a new car, a buck…as in a big deer with antlers…ran into the driver’s side door of her car while she was driving down a city street! She said, “I mean, he ran right into my door! We were eyeball to eyeball!” Ugh. Talk about bad luck…
  • Another morning, they might have heard me describing to my friend, Mary Ann, the scene at our house. One of our dogs had experienced some stomach issues during the night, and all three had somehow, managed to roll in it. They had all slept in a big crate together that night, and we still aren’t sure which one had stomach issues. When “they” heard me say one of our dogs had “exploded” overnight, they were probably really confused! I just don’t think it would translate well. “They” probably lost their appetites after listening to that call.
  • On yet another call, they’d have heard me telling my friend, Kelli, about my husband’s DIY project that became my project. He was assembling a gardening table and asked for my help. Anyone who is married knows DIY projects are recipes for disaster. I knew Kelli would understand the pain I felt as I tried to “assist” my husband with that project.
  • Sadly, “they”would have heard me talking with my daughter, who was sick last week. She called me upset after waking up with fever, and I rushed around getting everything I could think of to help her feel better…calling her repeatedly to ask about different things I thought she might need.
  • On one phone call, I talked with a friend about Charlie’s Angels, the original show from the 1970s, starring Jaclyn Smith, Farrah Fawcett, and Kate Jackson…and later Cheryl Ladd, Shelley Hack, and Tanya Roberts. I actually saw Jaclyn Smith on the sidewalk in New York a few years ago and thought how my little girl self would have gone crazy! As we discussed all the angels, we wondered aloud if Shelley Hack was dead; she’s not. But she did star in some commercials for Charlie perfume back in the day, so of course, we sang the jingle, “There’s a fragrance that’s here today, and they call it…Charlie!” To see one of the commercials on YouTube, click here. That led us to the jingle on the commercials for Enjoli perfume (“I can bring home the bacon…”), which you can see here. It was a real trip down memory lane. And FYI: Tanya Roberts is the angel who is no longer with us; she passed in 2021.
  • The only call that would have been a problem for “them” to hear was the one in which I made a hotel reservation on the phone and gave the hotel reservations rep my credit card number. I guess “they” could have gone on a shopping spree with my credit card. Praying I don’t start seeing charges from China.

Aside from that one call, my calls probably would make them think Americans are idiots. They would likely think we laugh a lot, because I laugh a lot. If nothing else, I hope “they” think I’m funny. And I hope “they” don’t use my credit card. I think it’s safe to say the wouldn’t get any national security secrets from my phone calls, but they would definitely get a snapshot of life in these United States. I hope they were entertained.

by Kelly Mattei

Parenting College Students After Idaho Tragedy

Parenting colleges students after Idaho tragedy.

Before my daughter left for college in August, I gave her a Birdie personal alarm. It hangs on her keychain, and we have even practiced using it. If she feels threatened, she can separate the alarm box from her keychain, and it sets off a high-pitched, loud audible alarm and blinking strobe. It’s tiny but mighty. (You can purchase one from Amazon here.) It helps us both have a little peace of mind, but we also know she has to take lots of other measures to stay safe in the world. Haven’t we always worried about the safety of our kids in college? But now, with the murders of four college students in one house in Moscow, Idaho, I’m more concerned than ever, even though they have a suspect in custody.

I graduated from the same southern state university our daughter is attending…way back in 1989. Things were different then. We didn’t have cell phones. The university was less than half the size it is now, and there were dark areas in the parking lots. Sometimes, if I drove home from somewhere late at night alone, I would park across the street, in a two-hour parking spot, because it was safer. And often, in the morning, I would find multiple parking tickets on my windshield. I looked at it as the price to pay for safety. My dad was angry the first time he received notice that I had accumulated city parking tickets. When he asked, I told him I would pay them that day. At first, he started to talk sternly with me about the cost of the tickets, but I stopped him when I said, “Would you rather I park in the rape zone?” No, there wasn’t an area actually called the “rape zone.” It was just what I called dark, scary parking lots. And you know what his answer to that question was? “Absolutely not. You park wherever you need to park to feel safe.”

The world can be a scary, dangerous place, and hopefully, our college students realize that. The good news about that realization? If you realize it, then you can take precautions to decrease the possibility of your becoming a victim…like not parking in the rape zone.

The brutal murders of four college students in Moscow, Idaho, in November was a horrible crime, and while it likely frightened every student at that university, I can safely say it scared college students and their parents everywhere. My daughter, a college freshman, called me after hearing about it, asking, “Should I be afraid?” I explained to her that she should be cautious, but she should be cautious all the time. I’m the mother who always reminds her to be aware of where the exits are no matter where she goes…a movie theater, a bar, a hotel room…anywhere. It’s a practice I learned years ago when I was a flight attendant…always know a way out. Also, always be aware of your surroundings. Pay attention to the faces around you; are some of them appearing too often in different places? There are so many things I have told my daughter over the years. I hope and pray she has listened.

But back to her question, “Should I be afraid?” Maybe “afraid” isn’t the right word. I told her to be extra cautious. I told her to take extra safety measures she should be taking in everyday life anyway. I remember Ted Bundy in the 1970s. He was in Washington state, then Utah, then all the way down in Florida. It’s a big country, but it’s pretty easy to move around in it unnoticed. Could the Idaho murderer have found his way to North Carolina? Georgia? Florida? Alabama? You bet he could have. Fortunately, they have arrested a suspect that the authorities feel pretty strongly is the murderer. Does it make us all feel a little safer? Yes, but there are lots of evil people out there in the world, and they’re not easy to identify. If I had seen Bryan Kohberger, the suspect in the Idaho murders, in a store or restaurant, would I have thought he looked scary or capable of brutally murdering four people? Probably not. He doesn’t look particularly strong to me. He doesn’t even look evil to me, but if he committed the murders, he is definitely evil.

That’s what that crime made us all realize. We can’t always recognize evil when we see it, but we can take measures to avoid it. I’m guessing college parents all over the country have been reminding their children of that very fact before sending them back for this upcoming semester. My parents used to tell me ways to stay safe. It’s always on my mind. My daughter now understands why I want her to text me a secret symbol when she gets in to her dorm (or a safe friend’s house) at night. Just sending me “I’m home” isn’t good enough. Anyone could text that from her phone, but not just anyone knows our secret symbol. When I see that symbol late at night, I sleep more soundly. Does she always remember to do it? No. In fact, last night was her first night back at school, and I didn’t get the symbol after she went out. Thankfully, I slept through the night.

Have the Idaho murders changed college students’ approach to safety? I hope so. My daughter and I discussed safety again before she went back to college yesterday for her second semester. I hope college students everywhere know they can’t share their door codes with other people. A secret isn’t a secret if more than one person knows it. Right? If you’re sending your child off to college for the next semester soon, remind them to be cautious. Remind them to walk with friends. Remind them to look out for each other. Remind them to always lock doors. Remind them to park in safe areas. Remind them to be cautious. Remind them that it’s OK to call the police if they are concerned about something or someone.

Tell them you love them every time you text or talk, and hug them every time you see them.

by Kelly Mattei

Gallbladder Surgery Changed My Life

Gallbladder surgery changed my life.

At least 12 years. That’s how long I had been suffering with gallstones. I knew it the first time I felt them. Every time one moved through a duct, I suffered. Over time, I figured out some of the “triggers” for my “attacks.” Bacon, eggs, avocado, red meat, fried foods, salad dressings, and even some grains were triggers! I know there are vegetarians in the world, but honestly, if you’re not eating bacon occasionally, you’re missing out on one of the great joys of life…and I went years without bacon.

I often meet my friend, Linda, for breakfast, but over the past few years, I had to order egg-white omelets and no bacon. Sad. Don’t get me wrong. Egg white omelets are good, but occasionally, it’s nice to have a real omelet.

Soon after that first attack, I asked my primary care provider to order some tests to check my gallbladder. I felt positive that was my problem. She ordered an ultrasound, and nothing showed up, so life went on. I should have demanded that she order more tests, but instead, I “limped along” for a few years.

Then I changed primary care providers. I decided the one I had was not working to improve my life as much as she was working to improve her own. But while I was between providers, I made an appointment for myself with a gastroenterologist to see if I could get my gallbladder removed, and the PA in that office told me they only removed them in emergency situations. Wow. That is an insane answer. I even said, “You’d rather I end up in an emergency situation in Mexico or the Bahamas or Panama or Peru?” But I moved on.

Over the next couple of years, I had friends in Charlotte tell me they’d had their gallbladder removed, and they were not in an emergency situation. I suffered regularly, wondering when the next “attack” would be and wondering if it would become an emergency situation. When “attacks” occurred, I used my own home remedies. I took over the counter painkillers (and worried about my liver). Sometimes, I mixed apple cider vinegar with apple juice and drank it…yuck. I took Goli Apple Cider Vinegar Gummies (to see more about them, click here). I turned on the seat heater in my car. I got in bed and waited it out. If someone had told me to stand on my head and juggle jars of pickled pigs feet (yes, pickled pigs feet are real), I likely would have tried. it.

So finally, in January of this year, I’d had enough. I made another appointment at the same gastro office but insisted on another provider. And we got real tests underway. The original ultrasound was unremarkable, showing gallstones but nothing wrong with the actual organ. But boy was that wrong! The second test, the HIDA scan, showed that I had only five percent function of my gallbladder...five percent!

I had surgery at the end of August after many delays due to COVID in my household. Without going into any details about my internal organs, I will say the surgeon said it was obvious the gallbladder needed to go. There was quite a bit of scarring, she said, proving I had suffered for a while. For anyone who might be having their gallbladder removed, I’d like to say it was pretty uneventful and easy. After the laparoscopic procedure, I came home and relaxed, taking narcotic pain relievers for less than 36 hours. Two days in, I strolled three miles in the afternoon. The next day, I rested. In fact, I operated on that “alternating exercise days” for the next nine days until I met a friend in Miami for a Caribbean cruise.

At that point, the only pain I had was when I rolled over in bed. Nothing severe…just a reminder that I’d had surgery. But after the first couple days of the cruise, all pain was gone, and by the time I came home, the only reminders were the tiny incisions on my abdomen. At my follow-up appointment soon after my return, the surgeon called me a prize patient! I had done everything I was supposed to do, and my incisions were healing nicely.

And now, I’m seven weeks post-surgery. I feel no pain. Knock wood. It’s amazing how much different I feel!

But the whole reason for this post? If you suspect you have gallbladder problems, force the issue. If you don’t get the answer you want from one doctor, go to another. Don’t just sit on your heels waiting like I did. Gallstones can turn into a very serious situation if a stone gets lodged in or blocks a pancreatic duct, causing pancreatitis, which is very painful. And don’t be afraid of the surgery. No one was more frightened than I was. I had never had general anesthesia before, and I was afraid, but I’m so glad I did it.

I now meet friends for lunch and eat without worrying about how I’m going to feel afterward. I’m still not much of a red meat eater. I prefer fish and chicken, so at least that good did come from the issues. But when I got to lunch with my friend, Linda, at Bricktop’s, I can order the deviled eggs appetizer with maple sugar bacon…and I enjoy every bite, because I remember life without bacon and eggs! I truly feel like I have my life back, as corny as that sounds. I say prayers of thanks regularly.

by Kelly Mattei

Top of the Rollercoaster

Top of the rollercoaster.

David Wilcox, a folk musician/singer-songwriter from Cleveland, Ohio, released a song in 1991 called Top of the Rollercoaster, a song about riding a rollercoaster on a 30th birthday as a metaphor for life. “It’s the moment of truth, the top of your youth…when you tip the top of the rollercoaster, look down the other side.” (To hear the song, click here.) Lucky for me, it came out several years before I turned 30, so I could listen to it on my 30th birthday and feel like it was written for me. However, unlike the song, which proclaims “it’s all downhill from here,” I didn’t look at turning 30 as the “top of my youth;” I looked at it as a new beginning. And honestly, my life got better after 30. But that’s not really what I want to discuss. I want to talk about rollercoasters, because at the age of 53, I still love them.

Don’t most of us remember our first rollercoaster ride? I don’t mean those little rollercoasters like Thunder Mountain at Disney. I don’t even mean rollercoasters like The Rock-n-Roller Coaster at Hollywood Studios or Space Mountain at Disney. If those are the most exciting rollercoasters you’ve ridden, I hate to break it to you…they don’t even count. They’re not thrilling. Sure, they’re a little fun, but definitely aren’t thrilling. When I get off those rides, I don’t have the same “high” as I have when I step off the Intimidator or the Fury 325 at Carowinds…or even Goliath at Six Flags Over Georgia. So when I say we likely remember our first rollercoaster ride, I mean a ride on a real rollercoaster…a thrill ride.

The year was 1976. It was the year of America’s Bicentennial, and I had turned nine years old in May…just as school was getting out for summer. I had been to Six Flags Over Georgia countless times with my family, and since 1973, I had been watching people disembark from the Great American Scream Machine, which at the time was the longest (3800 ft), tallest (105 ft), fastest (57 mph) rollercoaster in the world. It was a giant wooden coaster, and for a long time, I was terrified of it. But that summer…the Bicentennial summer…I decided I could ride it. I was standing with my family, watching riders disembark when Daddy asked me if I wanted to try it. I answered, “Yes,” and we got in line. The line for the Scream Machine was always long in those days, and there were no fast passes, so we waited…and I’m sure I changed my mind a dozen times before we ever boarded the coaster, but when it was our turn, I followed Daddy right into that coaster seat.

If you’ve ever ridden a wooden coaster, you know it’s not as smooth as a steel coaster. The first hill seems “rickety,” with the noise of the chain pulling the train up, and the “clickety-clack” of the tracks as you wait to reach the top. I was terrified, but I was excited at the same time. Back then, though, safety mechanisms weren’t what they are now. In my memory, there was nothing tight around my waist to hold me firmly in my seat. I recall a loose chain across my lap and a metal bar that bounced with every bump. Just as we reached the peak of the first hill, the train lurched forward as it started its descent. I weighed less than 50 pounds, and I felt like I was going to fall out of the car. I yelled to Daddy, “Push the bar down!” But he just laughed as we continued the bumpy ride. Once I knew I had survived the first big hill, I knew I could survive the rest, but it was scary…and exhilarating.

The ride ended back at the station after an exhilarating two minutes and twenty seconds. I had survived. I had ridden my first major rollercoaster and lived to tell about it. I feel sure I was giggling as we got off the ride, and I probably talked about it on the walk back up to the top of the hill near the entrance, where my mother was waiting. And then, like any coaster enthusiast, I said, “Let’s do it again!” I’ve never looked back. What an adrenaline rush! And every time I ride a rollercoaster, I remember that day in the summer of ’76.

Fortunately, my own daughter is a rollercoaster enthusiast. When she was a little girl, she would cry, because she wasn’t tall enough to ride the coasters at our local amusement park, Carowinds, which was owned by Paramount at the time, and then purchased by Cedar Fair Parks. As soon as she was tall enough, we rode them all the time…for years. When the old log flume ride was removed from the park in 2010 to make way for the Intimidator, a rollercoaster with a height of 232 feet that goes 80 mph, we had to work up the nerve to ride it, but once we did, we never looked back. And then, five years later, the Fury 325 debuted. Reaching a maximum speed of 95 mph and with a height of 325 feet, it looked daunting. But the first time we rode it, we rode in the second seat. The next time? Front car with my friend, Angela, and her daughter, Hannah…and it was a big adrenaline rush! My daughter was 11, and Hannah was 13…and we loved the ride! In fact, every time I’ve ever ridden it, it has been a big adrenaline rush. I feel pretty sure that if I can ride that coaster, I can ride just about any coaster anywhere.

About 34 years after that Bicentennial summer and my first major coaster ride, I took my daughter to Six Flags Over Georgia. She was six. She wanted to ride the Great American Scream Machine as soon as she saw it. So while my friend, Wendy, and her daughter watched, we boarded the same rollercoaster that was my first major rollercoaster, and it became my daughter’s first major rollercoaster too. The ride was even more bumpy that I remembered, but she loved it. She was laughing when we got off the coaster and wanted to get back in line immediately…like mother, like daughter. Maybe one day, my daughter will have a daughter whose first coaster will be the Great American Scream Machine. A weird family tradition, for sure.

Going back to David Wilcox’s song, maybe when he said “it’s all downhill from here,” he didn’t mean it was all going to be bad. Maybe he meant it was all going to be fun…a rush…exhilarating. Now that I think about it, I prefer that version. Because honestly, I’ve done my best living after 30. Well…there were those four college years in the 80s, between the ages of 18 and 22…those were pretty awesome too. But there’s something special about being over 30. And if you haven’t turned 50 yet…just wait…it’s great too.

Are rollercoaster rides good metaphors for life? I don’t know. But I do know rollercoasters are fun, and they make me feel young! I’ll be glad when Carowinds is open again! Till then, maybe we’ll even make a trip down to the Atlanta area to visit Six Flags Over Georgia and ride the Great American Scream Machine again…they’re open on a “reservations only” basis! They’re even offering BACKWARD rides on the Scream Machine for a limited time!

We love rollercoasters!

If you’d like to virtually experience the Great American Scream Machine, click here.

by Kelly Mattei

Remember Leif Garrett?

Remember Leif Garrett?

Yes, this is on my mind today…Leif Garrett. He was a teen idol when I was a preteen in the 1970s. He had been on a couple of TV shows…Three for the Road, Family (with Kristy McNichol), and a guest spot on Wonder Woman. He had a singing career with a hit in I Was Made for Dancing. He was in the Walking Tall movies. He was on American Bandstand. And he even had his very own TV special on CBS. All that happened before he was 18.

I don’t even know why I started thinking about Leif Garrett yesterday. Sometimes, I start looking for movies I liked as a child or teenager, and yesterday, I thought of a coming-of-age film from the 80s called Little Darlings, starring Kristy McNichol and Tatum O’Neal. Somehow, that made me think of Leif Garrett.

Oh, he was such a dreamboat at the time! With his flowing blonde locks and surfer-boy looks, lots of teenage girls had his posters all over their bedrooms. Back then, we had Teen Beat and Tiger Beat magazines (remember those?) to keep us up-to-date on our teen idols, and in the late 70s, Leif Garrett was at the top of the list. But as we all know, most teen idols don’t last. Most are a flash in the pan…including Garrett. But there was something different about him. He had charisma that the others didn’t have. Well, David Cassidy had it, but I can’t think of anyone else from my time who had the same X Factor as Cassidy and Garrett. Somehow, David Cassidy managed to reinvent himself as an adult in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat on Broadway, but the only place we’ve seen Garrett was Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew…sadly.

I’ve seen clips and read articles about him over the last 24 hours, and his story is tragic. He started acting in commercials as a child before moving into TV and movies. At some point, a management team decided to make him a singing star. With his charisma, Garrett was a walking dollar sign. He felt like he had no say in his own career and told Rosie O’Donnell on her show that he didn’t see a lot of the money from his fame.

But the real turning point in his life was a tragic car accident when he was 17. He was driving his Porsche, and a friend was riding with him. They had an accident, and the friend was left paralyzed from the waist down. Alcohol and drugs were involved. All terrible. It’s also something that could happen to lots of teens…a cautionary tale.

It’s tragic. The friend’s paralysis is tragic. The guilt and downward spiral afterward of Garrett are tragic too. Had he not been in show business, would this have happened? It’s an ugly business. Tragic. He became an addict…cocaine, heroin…sad. Was it the guilt of the accident that sent him over the edge? He made some bad choices, but this was a kid who had too much freedom and too much power too early. Who could handle that at 17? Fame and money make a strange life for a teen. Even good people can get caught up in the trappings of fame. Drugs plus guilt…perfect storm.

I am not diagnosing Garrett. I am not a psychologist. I just wonder what could have been. I look at that innocent face of the 1970s, and I want him to have a mother or someone else to keep him grounded. Had he been more closely supervised, and had he not chosen to drive under the influence that night, would his life have spiraled out of control? It’s sad to look at the photos of that sunkissed, young, hopeful teen and know what a terrible turn his life took. I don’t think he was a horrible individual. He was a teenager without boundaries. He’s likely not a horrible individual now, but wow, he has had a tough life. If he had stayed clean, would he be living a “normal” life now? We will never know. Some teen idols go on to have seemingly healthy lives, but the vast majority seem to have more issues than the “average” kid.

So that brings me to Garrett’s book, released at the end of 2019. Of course, I didn’t know about it then, and I didn’t hear about it earlier this year. With COVID in our midst, there hasn’t been a lot of press about the memoirs of former teen idols. But when I learned about it yesterday, I ordered it from Amazon, and I’ve read a couple of chapters, and it’s pretty darn good so far. It’s called Idol Truth: A Memoir. Yes, I will be the first to admit that I tend to be sympathetic. I’m a bleeding heart. I tend to want the best for people, and I’m sure I will still want the best for Garrett when I finish this book. If you’re interested, you can order from Amazon here. It will be available on the Audible app on August 11…I’ve already preordered it.

In the meantime, I’ll give my teenage daughter some extra hugs and be grateful that she’s a normal teenage girl living a normal life in North Carolina…not a teen idol. And I’ll tell her the story of Leif Garrett as a cautionary tale. I’ll tell her how quickly his life spiraled out of control, and hopefully, we will both learn some valuable lessons from Garrett’s experience.

by Kelly Mattei

Hand Sanitizers

Hand sanitizers.

Who would have ever thought I’d be sitting here writing about hand sanitizers? Before March 15 of this year, it didn’t seem that important, but wow…times have changed.

Hand sanitizers are important. How many of you scoured your homes in March, hoping to find some bottles of hand sanitizer, alcohol swabs, spray cans of Lysol, Clorox wipes, or anything that would help you disinfect your surroundings or your hands? I did. Once everything was gone in the stores, I turned my home upside down trying to find anything I could. I was actually pretty lucky. I found a few canisters of Clorox wipes…score! I found a box of alcohol wipes…yes! I found several random hand sanitizers all over the house…woohoo! And I moved the aerosol can of Lysol from the bathroom to the table in the foyer, so I could spray packages (lots of them) as they arrived.

A couple of weeks ago, I happened to walk into my neighborhood CVS right after they had stocked the shelves with new hand sanitizers. I grabbed a couple of spray bottles of sanitizer, because we didn’t have any of those, and I wanted to see what I thought about them. Here’s the answer: I loved them! It’s so easy to spray my hands or even my surroundings, if necessary.

Since I’m getting ready to go on vacation, I thought I should get some more spray hand sanitizer. I was doing some online shopping in the middle of the night, and so, I decided to check Amazon for hand sanitizers. To my surprise, they had some hand sanitizer from a brand I love and trust! It was a brand I trust in every bathroom in my house. I keep small spray bottles from this company in each bathroom, for my family and guests to use. It’s Poo-Pourri! I absolutely love this company! Yes, they make the “before you go” toilet spray, and now, they make hand sanitizers and sell them in 2-ounce spray bottles…the perfect size for taking on the plane with you! Of course, I bought it, and Amazon delivered it the next day.61br3fKr1pL._AC_SL1500_

When it arrived, I could hardly wait to try it, and the reason I’m telling you about it is…I love it! It has a 65% alcohol content for killing germs, but it has a lovely coconut/lavender scent. And the small bottles are perfect for handbags, cars, and even pockets! Yesterday, when I had lunch on the patio of a local restaurant, I used it repeatedly at the table. I even spritzed the table a couple of times…just in case!

I love sharing great products when I find them! If you’re interested in purchasing the Poo-Pourri hand sanitizer, you can get it directly from the company here, or from Amazon by clicking here.

Spritz away those germs!

 

 

by Kelly Mattei

I Can’t Hear You!

I can’t hear you!

Since the COVID-19 pandemic has required me to wear a mask in public, I have learned something: I cannot hear, see, or communicate well while wearing a mask. In fact, I’ve decided masks totally interfere with my brainpower. It’s weird!

It’s terrible. No, it’s not as terrible as getting sick, but dang it…it seems all my senses are failing while I’m wearing a mask! Add in the fact that it’s hot inside that mask, and my glasses steam up, and it hardly becomes worth it to leave my house. I also feel like the maskless people are thinking I’m judging them when I’m not. No, I’m not. Y’all go ahead and judge everybody else all you want, but I’m just not that person. I know someone who actually confronted people who weren’t wearing masks in the grocery store recently. Nope. Not gonna do it. Personally, I think she is more in danger of getting beaten up in the parking lot than she is of catching COVID, but whatever. 

But back to the real topic: how masks impair our communication skills. Like I said, I can’t hear while wearing a mask. I know my hearing is not as good as it should be anyway, but it’s worse with a mask. Maybe I have some mad lip-reading skills that I just can’t use while others are wearing masks. Maybe it’s the claustrophobia I feel behind the mask. Maybe the mask is decreasing oxygen to my brain! Maybe it makes me feel like I’m disconnected. It really does do that, for sure. People can’t read my facial expressions, and I’m accustomed to smiling at folks all the time. I can smile all I want now, but no one is going to see it. A smile, in my opinion, is the same as a space alien saying, “We come in peace.” But if we can’t see each other’s smiles, we all look a little hostile. Sure, resting b***h fave doesn’t show either, but frankly, I think everyone looks like they have RBF under a mask.

Normally, when I’m in public, I might strike up a conversation with the person standing in line in front of me or behind me. Lots of times, I’ve stuck up conversations with folks and discovered we had people in common…even in faraway places! I was in Tennessee a few years ago, and when I started talking with the lady in front of me in line at a tourist attraction, I learned she was from Panama City, Florida. She told me she worked for a dentist, and I mentioned that my aunt worked for a children’s home in the area. The lady then told me she the dentist she worked for did a lot of work with the children’s home. I called my aunt, who told me that yes, she knew the dentist…but she didn’t just know him from there. She had gone to high school with him!

That’s what I miss…those impromptu conversations with new people. The masks are taking that kind of fun away from me. Yes, they might be saving us from spreading the virus, but they’re taking away some of the fun of life. Communication is just a little more difficult. 

I know, I know. Masks are likely going to be a way of life for the foreseeable future. I’m just going to have to get accustomed to it. But that does not mean I have to like it. I miss making new friends in Target. I miss making connections. I miss smiling at people in public. 

 

 

 

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by Kelly Mattei

I Lied.

I lied.

I said we wouldn’t cancel our spring break trip to Miami, but I canceled today.

We ended up canceling, even though I really didn’t want to. I’m stubborn. I hate to give in. I didn’t want the stupid coronavirus to beat us. I wanted to win this battle and enjoy a week in the sun. It simply wasn’t meant to be.

I was still planning to go. In fact, I finally canceled this afternoon. I hated to do it, but some of the people we were traveling with were coming from Ohio, which has been hit hard, and some of the kids were getting anxious. Ugh. I was actually in a store buying a few things for the trip when my daughter texted me that she was a little scared to go.

When I first got her text, I responded, “Let me think.” And then, I remembered something that happened 17 years ago. In 2003, I was pregnant. I’ve always loved to travel, and pregnancy didn’t slow me down. So in the summer of 2003, I met a friend in Florida for a weekend of fun. We had a great time, and I boarded the plane for my flight home. Everything was normal till just after takeoff, we took a bird in the right engine of the plane. I was a flight attendant for a little while after college, so as soon as it happened, I knew what was going on. I also noticed we stopped climbing. I turned to the lady sitting next to me and said, “We just took a bird in the right engine. This could be interesting.” Sometimes, taking a bird in the engine isn’t a big deal, and sometimes it is. Since I could hear that one engine was still operational, I wasn’t too concerned, but since we had stopped climbing, I was a little concerned. Finally, the captain came on and said we were going to land at a nearby airport, so I knew everything was OK, but the incident did make me think. No, it didn’t make me afraid to fly, but at the time, I thought, “Wow, if we had taken birds in both engines, my baby might have died before she was born…for a stupid vacation.”

And today, when that same baby…now 16 years old…expressed a little fear about traveling during this stupid coronavirus outbreak, I thought about that trip, and I knew what I needed to do.  I knew I needed to cancel. It’s just not worth the risk of coronavirus. We can go to Miami later.

Now we’re home in Charlotte for spring break, and while I’m not thrilled about it, I intend to make the most of the situation. I’ve decided we will contribute to our local economy and encourage others to do the same…in a safe manner. Here are some ways I plan to do that:

  • Visit local restaurants at off hours, when they’re less crowded OR order takeout from local restaurants. Tip generously.
  • Shop local. Visit local stores and shop! You can avoid crowds and still shop. Since we’re not going shopping in Miami, we will shop here.
  • Post on Facebook about places we visit and encourage others to do the same.
  • Enjoy a little staycation at a local hotel.
  • Go on a little road trip to a place where I know there is little light pollution; it’s the perfect place to sit outside and stargaze at night. Plus, there aren’t other people there…no coronavirus.
  • Buy gift cards. I can’t go to Miami right now, but I know that when I do, I will dine at certain restaurants. I can purchase gift cards online for my future travel. We have several vacations planned for later this year, and it just makes sense to purchase gift cards from restaurants and stores now that I can use later!

Yes, this stupid coronavirus is changing the way we do things right now, but we can’t let it get us down! I’m putting on my happy face and doing everything I can to make the most of a bad situation.

Coronavirus be damned!

by Kelly Mattei

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Should I stay or should I go now? If I go, it will be trouble. If I stay it will be double. 

What a great song by The Clash! How many times did I sing and dance along to that one at a party in college?!?

Well, now, with the new coronavirus, it’s a real question. As spring break approaches for lots of us, we’re all wondering if we should travel or not.

Here’s how I feel…unless someone in my family catches the new coronavirus in the next week, we’re going. It’s spring break. We are meeting friends at a resort inside the United States, and by golly, we are going. This trip has been booked for a while, and we have been looking forward to it. If we were planning to go somewhere the government advised against going, we would definitely cancel. But that’s not the case, so we are going to single-handedly save the economy! Somebody has to do it! We’re all relatively healthy, and hopefully, I’m not jinxing us by putting this out there. If we come home sick, we’ll definitely isolate ourselves. I have friends who have family members who simply cannot be exposed to this virus, because they have health issues. I get it. I don’t want them to catch it, and I don’t want anyone in my family to catch it either, but we’re going.

It has become obvious to me in the past few weeks that people are cancelling travel plans. Whenever we travel, I continue checking hotel rates right up till I get there, because rates can go down, and I’ve seen a sharp decrease in the resort rates over the past couple of weeks. Every time, I call the hotel and ask them to adjust my rate, and they oblige. I always tell my friends to do the same. (That’s you. I’m advising you to check your hotel rates, and if they have gone down, call your resort/hotel and insist on a rate adjustment.) Seriously, our rate has gone down about 30%.

And no, we won’t be wearing face masks. From what I understand, they don’t work unless the sick person is wearing them.

We will refrain from shaking hands. We will try to avoid crowds…well, except at the airport, because we’re flying…so there’s that. But we will try to wipe down every surface we come into contact with in the airport and on the plane. We will have lots of hand sanitizer with us, and we will use it…constantly. We will wash our hands and refrain from touching our faces. We will not hold our phones up to our faces. That’s not a problem for my teenage daughter, because teenagers simply don’t talk on the phone. They only text. Teenagers these days don’t even flinch when the phone rings. I’m not sure they even know how to talk on the phone. It’s a dying art.

It will actually be interesting to see what folks are doing in the airport. If someone coughs or sneezes, will everyone turn and look at them?!? If someone looks a little sick, will everyone keep their distance? Will there be lines to wash hands in the restrooms all over the airport? That’s weird to think about, because standing in line will put people in close proximity with each other. Maybe we should all wear hazmat suits in the airport? That’s actually a funny visual.

My husband isn’t traveling with us this year, because we are doing some renovations in our home, and he is going to stay home and deal with contractors. Hopefully, we don’t bring home coronavirus or the flu! Everyone does remember it’s still flu season too, right?

I’m taking my own little, homemade first aid kit. Here’s what I’m including:

  • digital thermometer
  • Ibuprofen and Acetominophen
  • Mucinex (expectorant for cough, get it here)
  • one personal hand sanitizer per person (good luck finding them now if you don’t have them)
  • rubbing alcohol/alcohol wipes (I’ll have to bring what I have on hand, since I can’t find them anywhere)

And when I arrive, my friend and I will go to the liquor store and purchase a bottle of Everclear pure grain alcohol. It’s 95% alcohol, so I’m thinking I can add a splash to drinks, but I can also wipe down surfaces with it if I need to. Seriously. Call me crazy, but I think it’s creative!

Should I stay or should I go? I should go…and take all the necessary precautions, including saying prayers that coronavirus doesn’t strike and prayers of healing for those who have it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

by Kelly Mattei

My Favorite TV Guilty Pleasures

Guilty TV pleasures?! Don’t we all have one or two?!? Seriously, I don’t watch that much television, but when I do, it’s on something completely stupid.

It seems everyone I know counts The Real Housewives of (fill in the blank) as one of their guilty television pleasures. And The Bachelor. I can occasionally watch The Bachelor, but I have a teenage daughter, so I don’t need to watch television to see more girl drama. Teenage girls are dramatic enough; they could be their own reality TV show.

One TV guilty pleasure I’ve had for a long time? My husband and I record The Young and the Restless every day, so we try to watch that before we go to bed at night. It’s actually relaxing, because everything moves so slowly on soap operas. I was so excited when I read recently that Y&R has been picked up through 2024! But we also have another guilty television pleasure, and I am almost embarrassed to admit it.

We watch 90-Day Fiancé.

There, I said it out loud. Go ahead, judge us. The show is on TLC, where there are lots of trashy reality shows. It’s a show about couples who have applied for or received a K-1 Visa to the United States. The K-1 is a visa for foreign fiancés of US citizens. Once the visa recipient arrives in the US, the couple has 90 days to get married or send the fiancé home. Sometimes, the show follows the couple as they wait for the visa…the US citizen visiting his/her fiancé in their home country. And sometimes, the visa has been issued, and we watch the couple interact in the US through their 90 days before getting married…or not. We love 90-Day Fiancé so much that we always talk about which people from the show we could hang out with. Seriously. We are superfans. The show is like a train wreck…once you start watching, you just can’t turn away! ***You can see episodes on TLC or on the TLC website here.***

90-Day Fiance is in its 7th season and not without drama. When we first “met” Angela (Hazelhurst, Georgia) and Michael (Nigeria) in another season, my husband and I voted them “Most Likely to Break Up.” Angela is considerably older than Michael, whom she met online, and their first face-to-face meeting was memorable. He was surprised by her age and weight. My husband and I just knew they’d never make it, but they’re still together…and still trying to get his K-1 visa. They have received word that the government employee who interviewed him for the visa recommended they deny his visa, but he hasn’t received the official denial yet. If they do marry, Michael wants to have a baby right away, because, as he told Angela, “Age is not on our side.” He meant she’s not getting any younger. At first, we laughed at Angela and Michael, but now, we like them! Michael’s family seems to love her, and she has some great one-liners. And her bra is like Mary Poppins’s bag…she carries everything in it! I’m always half-expecting to see her pull a floor lamp out of her bosom.

We have other favorites on Season 7…

  • Michael (Connecticut) and Juliana (Brazil) are a lovely couple who recently wed on the show…after a few struggles of their own.
  • Anna (Nebraska) and Mursel (Turkey) had a rough time when he came over on his K-1 visa, because his parents didn’t want him to marry someone who had children (Anna has three boys), but it appears they are going to squeeze in a wedding just under the 90-day wire.
  • Mike (Washington) and Natalia (Ukraine) seem to be going down the tubes, partly because Michael is Atheist. A problem with Natalia’s K-1 visa might throw another wrench in things, and Mike might withdraw the application anyway.
  • Let’s not forget Tania (Connecticut) and Syngin (South Africa); Tania went to Costa Rica with her girlfriends for 30 days of Syngin’s 90 days, and then was angry when she returned and found he hadn’t taken a woodworking class! What?!?! He’s not from this country, but she expected him to navigate everything on his own for a month?!? We love Syngin, but Tania? Not so much.
  • Robert (Florida) and Anny (Dominican Republic) have had a rough start, because Robert didn’t make it clear to Anny that he’s “poor,” as his sister called him.  Robert has a little boy, and Anny seems to be taking good care of him.
  • Emily (Oregon) and Sasha (Russia) have a baby together, and they recently married on the show. Sasha has been married twice before to other baby mamas, but he assured Emily’s sister this one will last. I don’t know…Sasha seems to love himself more than anyone else.
  • And our least favorite couple? Blake (Los Angeles) and Jasmin (Finland). Nothing to see here, folks. Blake is sweet and pursuing his dream in music, but Jasmin seems self-absorbed. We yell at the TV for him to send her home.

There have been so many couples over the years. You simply have to watch it if you don’t mind getting sucked in to the drama.

But then, there’s an even bigger guilty pleasure called 90-Day Fiancé Pillow Talk.  If someone had told me we would watch this insanity, I would have laughed in their faces. Yet, here we are, looking forward to every episode! And why is this one worse?!? Well, it’s worse, because we are watching other people (former K-1 visa seekers) watch and comment on an episode of 90-Day Fiancé. Some of them are sitting on their sofas at home or watching from bed. Our favorite Pillow Talk cast members are Annie/David and Loren/Alexei. Annie is from Thailand and came to the US with David. She has a big personality. They are now married and watch from their bed in their tiny apartment. In our other favorite couple, Alexei is from Israel. He met Loren when she was vacationing in Israel, and they are now married, living in Hollywood, Florida, and expecting a baby. We have decided they are our 90-Day Fiance Pillow Talk best friends, because they say the same things we do while watching the show. Did I mention my husband and I would totally love to be on Pillow Talk?!?

There are other spinoffs of 90-Day Fiancé, but we don’t regularly watch them. Maybe one day, but right now, I can’t spend more time on guilty pleasures. I’ll just stick with the original and Pillow Talk. Maybe you record some and watch them with your love on Valentine’s Day? If nothing else, it’s likely to make you feel better about your own relationship…or lack thereof!

You can thank me later.