Category / football

by Kelly Mattei

Keep Passing the Open Windows

Keep passing the open windows.

Words to live by, if you understand the meaning behind them. In 1990, my mother gave me a hardback copy of The Hotel New Hampshire by John Irving. I probably wouldn’t have picked it up if I had seen it in a bookstore, but since she gave it to me, I read it. And I loved it. Yes, it’s a weird novel…a little absurd…but it’s good. It’s memorable. If you’ve ever read John Irving, you know he has some pretty crazy ideas in Cider House Rules, A Prayer for Own Meany and The World According to Garp, and The Hotel New Hampshire is no exception. It was also made into a film starring Rob Lowe, Jodie Foster, Beau Bridges, and more, but the film did not do well. In fact, when I met Rob Lowe a few years ago, I mentioned it, and he said, “YOU are the one person who saw it!”

In the novel, the Berry family often uses the catchphrase “keep passing the open windows” to encourage each other to persevere, keep moving forward. It comes from a story the parents tell of a street performer who killed himself by jumping out a window. “Keep passing the open windows” is a phrase they use to tell their kids, when things get bad, keep moving forward. The windows are there, but refrain from jumping through them.

It’s a metaphor. Don’t think I’m saying “keep passing the open windows” to someone considering suicide. That’s a lot more complicated. But smaller issues or problems? “Keep passing the open windows” might be exactly what a friend or family member needs to hear. Persevere. Keep moving forward.

Personally, I have thought of this phrase many times in my life, and I have said it and explained it many times over the years. In fact, I have likely used it several times in the last month! If my daughter calls and tells me she didn’t do well on a test in college, it’s what I say, “Keep passing the open windows.”

Last night, my college football team lost a big game in the playoffs. And you know what I thought? “Keep passing the open windows.” No, I was not contemplating suicide. The loss was simply a blip on the radar of life…nothing big, for sure. Life and death…that’s important. College football games = not important. However, I still needed to manage the disappointment, and for me, the key to managing disappointment (or passing the open windows) is having something else to look forward to all the time. Right now, I have a trip planned with a friend in 10 days, so after my team lost and I knew they wouldn’t be in the National Championship, I turned my attention to the trip I have coming up. I pivoted my attention to that trip! Is it always easy? No, but it’s pretty easy after the minor problem of a football loss, and it’s always a lot easier if I already have something fun planned, so disappointment won’t hit me so hard. It works for me! I’m not one bit sad today about that loss, because I know there’s some fun ahead!

Find your way of passing the open windows when you’re disappointed. It sure makes it easier to keep moving forward.

Keep passing the open windows.

***If you’d like to read some John Irving novels (I highly recommend them!), you can purchase them at Amazon. My personal favorites are A Prayer for Owen Meany (click here), The Hotel New Hampshire (click here), and Cider House Rules (click here).

by Kelly Mattei

Holiday Gifts for the Joe Namath Fan

Holiday Gifts for the Joe Namath Fan.

Lots of my readers love Joe Namath. My posts about his books and my adventure to his hometown of Beaver Falls are consistently the most-read posts on my blog…year after year. I love Joe too. If you’re looking for a gift for a Joe Namath fan on your list, I have some ideas…all of which I would love to receive myself (hint, hint).

  • All the Way: My Life in Four Quarters by Joe Namath. My friend, Linda, gave me this book for my birthday in 2019. Not kidding…I read it straight through in a day. The man has lived a fascinating life. It’s available in paperback, hardback, and even on Audible and Kindle. Highly recommend. Get it here. Or get a signed copy (what a great gift!) here.

  • Joe Namath Facsimile Signed NY Jets Jersey. Any good fan would love a Namath jersey. Can I get one to wear to his restaurant in Florida, in hopes he’ll be there and talk to me?!?! Lol! All kidding aside, this is a great gift at $74.99. Get it here. See other Namath jersey options on Amazon here.

  • Namath: a Biography by Mark Kriegel. Yes, I have read this one too. In fact, I have it in my living room. Another great one with some fun stories about Broadway Joe. Get it here.

  • Joe Namath Poster. Get it framed or leave it unframed. It’s a great gift for a Namath fan. Pricing starts at $15. Get it here.

  • Namath: My Son Joe by Rose Szolnoki. Written by Joe’s mom in 1975, this is a look at Joe Willie from a different perspective. Get it here.

Or check out lots of other Joe Namath gifts here. From bobbleheads to Christmas ornaments and books and posters and more…lots of great Namath merchandise.

Happy Holiday Shopping!

As an Amazon associate, I receive commission on items purchased through these links.

by Kelly Mattei

College Game Day Essentials

College game day essentials.

It’s finally football season…the most wonderful time of the year! And what’s more fun than spending time with friends and family, pregaming or watching a game together?

Whether you’re hosting friends and family at home or hosting a tailgate, there are some things you’ll need. Check out these suggestions:

  • Tailgate/game day cookbook. I have a favorite, and you can get it from Amazon. It is The Southern Tailgating Cookbook, written by Taylor Mathis, an alumnus of my daughter’s high school. The book contains great recipes the author collected at tailgates across the south. I heard Mr. Mathis speak about the fun he had researching the book, so I had to have it. Get it here.
  • Cheese Board Deck. My friend, Angela, gave me this deck of charcuterie/cheese board ideas, and I love it! Charcuterie boards are an easy, beautiful way to entertain! The deck shows photos and lists ingredients for different types of charcuterie boards, and the price is right at $17.99! Each card in the box tells you exactly what cheeses, fruits, etc. to buy for the corresponding board. Get it here.
  • Football paper plates. If you’re hosting the tailgate or party and don’t want to have dishes to wash later, these cute football paper plates fit right with a game day theme. Get them here.
  • Full set of disposable paper products. Wanna keep it easy and but a full set of football themed disposable paper products? You can do that on Amazon here.
  • Football Serving Trays (3pieces). How about some fun nesting trays that are football themed? If you’re going to be hosting a tailgate or having guests at home, follow through on a football theme with a set of trays that can be used for chips, dips, appetizers or beverages. Get them here.
  • Football cocktail napkins. Maybe you’re just tailgating with cocktails? If so, you’ll need cocktail napkins that are just for tailgating. These are great to have around all the time, in fact. Get them here.
  • Bug fans. If you’re going to have food outside, you will attract flies. How to get rid of them? Keep these small, battery-operated, tabletop fans around your food. They really work, and they’re priced right at about $35 for four. Get them here.
  • Handheld paper fans for guests. Tailgating in the south? You’ll and all your guests will be hot. A great addition to any southern tailgate? Handheld paper fans for all! You can purchase at pack of 20 for about $15 in your team color here.
  • Yeti coolers and cups. You have to keep those drinks cold! Choose from a variety of Yeti coolers and cups for your pregame tailgate or your game day party at the Yeti Amazon store here.
  • Solo Stove. Night game? Need a portable fire pit? Solo Stove makes great ones! We have the Bonfire model, and we love it. Get it at Amazon for about $345 now. Purchase here. You’ll use it for years to come.
  • All-in-One Tailgating Table. I stumbled upon this and thought it was a great thing for tailgates! Sometimes, it’s hard to figure out how to organize a tailgate, but this table can certainly help! Get it here.
  • Football-themed Beer Pong Table. Pong is all the rage, so having a beer pong table is almost a necessity at a tailgate or home football party. There’s a great one at Amazon for $99 here.
  • Cornhole boards. Cornhole brings a group together, for sure! If you want cool regulation sized boards, there are some great ones at Amazon here. You don’t care if it’s not regulations sized? Then you might like a set for about $80 from Amazon here.

  • Folding chairs. If you’re going to need to take a folding chair, you can find lots of them at all price points at Amazon here.
  • JBL speakers. Every tailgate or game day party needs tunes before the game, and with a bluetooth speaker, you can even listen to pregame and game broadcasts! JBL has a great assortment of bluetooth speakers on Amazon here. We have a small JBL speaker, the Charge 5 ($179.95), that puts out great sound. You can see it here. And we have a larger one, the JBL Boombox 2 ($399.95) that puts out bigger sound that you can see here. If you want the newer version, the Boombox 3, it’s great and will set you back $499.95. See it here. (pictured below)

Are you ready for some football?!

by Kelly Mattei

It’s Almost Football Season!

It’s almost football season!

Its the most wonderful time of the year…football season! Seriously, we count down every year at our house. We love all kinds of football…high school, college, NFL. We have our favorite teams, but we will watch almost any game. I can’t watch really bad football. If both teams in any game are playing miserably, I have to remove myself from the viewing area of the television. However, I love a good, close game, and I love the spirit of competition!

I have lots of good memories tied up in football. No, I never played. I’m 5’2″ on a tall day. Plus, I’m tough, but I’m not that tough. However, I have lots of great memories from throughout my life that are related to football. One of the greatest games I have ever attended was the Alabama-Miami Sugar Bowl for the National Championship at the end of the 1992 season. To me, it was one for the ages. My team, the Alabama Crimson Tide, was the definite underdog to the powerhouse University of Miami Hurricanes. I went to the game in the New Orleans Superdome expecting to lose, but I was pleasantly surprised that, not only did we win, we pulled off a huge upset, winning 34-13.

As football season approaches every year, we start stocking up on apparel. My daughter is in college at Alabama now, so she needs cute gameday dresses and outfits. I like to find my own gameday outfits, but they’re not as important as hers! In addition, our local NFL team, the Carolina Panthers, just recruited a quarterback from Alabama, so she and I both ordered our very own Bryce Young #9 jerseys. It has been a long time since we were really excited about a Panthers team, but we are looking forward to the season this year. We’ll be the ones at games in the Bryce Young jerseys. Ha!

If you’re looking for your own game day apparel, I have ideas for everyone in the family! Check these out:

  • College girls. In the south, our college girls go one of two routes. They either dress up for the games, or they wear football jerseys representing their school. I should mention it’s really hot during most of football season in the south, so comfort is key. Therefore, short dresses without a whole lot of extra sleeve fabric…those are popular. Breezy rompers are popular, as well. There are some great options on Amazon in lots of different colors/patterns. One romper that comes in lots of colors and will be cool on a hot game day can be found here. Need a dress for a hot game? See one here. Another romper that will work great for college girls on a hot day can be seen here…it’s offered in 19 colors! If your team is green (Tulane? Baylor?), see a cute green option for a hot day here. And see a cute white dress in 100% cotton here. Once it’s cooler, you might opt for this great dress here. To see lots of game day inspiration on Amazon, click here.
  • College apparel/fan gear. Need NCAA apparel or fan gear? You can get that at Amazon too by going to the Campus Colors page here. You can find almost anything you need by searching for your favorite team under “shop by college.” If you’re a Bama fan, you can bypass that step and click here. Auburn fans click here. Arkansas Razorbacks? Click here. For more SEC teams, click on the name of the school: Florida, Georgia, LSU,, Ole Miss, South Carolina, Vandy, Missouri, Tennessee, Texas A&M, or Kentucky. For some reason, Mississippi State isn’t featured, so forgive me, my Bulldog friends. Or check out Amazon’s FAN ZONE here to see goods and apparel from lots of different teams and leagues…college and professional. You can even find those obnoxious car flags there!
  • Plastic flask. If you want to take your own alcohol to a tailgate, I have the perfect flask for you. I know none of my readers would sneak their own alcohol into a game to avoid standing in line at a bar or overpaying for alcohol in a stadium, but if you know someone who would (wink, wink), a plastic flask is great, because it won’t set off a metal detector. My personal favorite can be seen here. At only $10, it’s a steal. I also put a LeakLock Toiletry skin over it to ensure it won’t leak. You can get those here.

It’s still hots as blazes in the southeast right now, but football season will be here soon! Be prepared! I can smell the tailgates and bourbon in the air already!

by Kelly Mattei

Sporting Event? Yes, Please!

Sporting event? Yes, please!

A friend texted me last night, “Crazy invite–but I’m asking!” After that, she proceeded to invite me to join her when she goes to an upcoming high school basketball game.

I don’t know why she thought it was a crazy invitation. I guess for lots of people it would be, but anyone who knows me knows I love being a spectator at most sporting events. Give me a basketball game, soccer game, lacrosse game, baseball game, football game, hockey game, volleyball game, rodeo, tennis match, polo…any kind of sporting event, and I’m game! Pun intended. I love the spirit of competition. I love seeing people do things I can’t do. I simply love sports.

Of course, I was quick to respond, “I will go!” So tonight, we are going to a high school basketball game. Apparently, she has intended to see a friend’s son play for years, but has never made it to a game, and he will soon be graduating. He will soon be playing his last high school basketball game. We are going, and I’m excited about it!

Our daughter graduated from high school last year, so I haven’t had much reason or opportunity to attend high school sporting events since she left for college in August. As much as I love going, I have only been to one football game, a girls volleyball game, and a few soccer games. I’m excited.

All this is my long way of reminding my friends that I’m always up for sporting events…at any level of almost any sport. If any of my friends need someone to go with them, I’m their girl! Just call or text, and I’m there!

My parents were sports fanatics. I remember being in the car with them as a child or young teenager, and they would see a baseball game or track meet happening at the very moment we were driving past. They didn’t want to skip it. We had to go. And that was OK, because it was almost always fun. We attended or participated in almost every sporting event for my high school teams, and in college, I went to lots of things too: football games, basketball games, and baseball games. After college, I was known to attend various baseball games, football games, and track and field competitions all over the country…just for fun.

Some people love concerts. I like concerts, but I’m picky about which artists I’m willing to drop a dollar on. I need to know almost every song someone sings to be willing to spend money seeing them, so I don’t go to a lot of concerts. Whereas, I have friends who will go to just about any concert in town. It’s just personality differences, I suppose. Some of those same friends don’t know the difference between a quarterback and cornerback. They don’t know where right field is or where left field is. They don’t know the difference between a layup and a jump shot. They certainly don’t know what an alley-oop is. Ask them about the Holy Roller Play and the Immaculate Reception, and you’re likely to get a blank stare. Corner kick? They have no idea. That’s OK. It’s not their thing. Ask me to sing along all the words to a Coldplay song, and you’ll get the same blank stare, even though I once waited for my car at the valet stand outside a restaurant with Chris Martin…but that’s a story for another day.

We are fortunate in Charlotte to have lots of sports teams and lots of different sporting events to support. Call me if you need a sidekick.

Sports teams to support in Charlotte

UNCC Athletics: https://charlotte49ers.com/

Charlotte Football Club (Soccer): https://www.charlottefootballclub.com/

Charlotte Checkers Hockey: https://charlottecheckers.com/

Carolina Panthers Football: https://www.panthers.com/

Charlotte Knights Baseball: https://www.milb.com/charlotte-knights

Queens University Athletics: https://queensathletics.com/index.aspx

Charlotte Bootleggers Box Lacrosse: https://pbla.com/teams/charlotte-bootleggers/

Since Charlotte is the home of NASCAR, there are all kinds of auto racing venues nearby. Click here to see a list of racetracks and events.

There are lots more. It would be impossible for me to remember all of them, but off the top of my head, there are lots of high school sports events to attend. Check athletics calendars for different schools in the area.

by Kelly Mattei

McDonald’s is My Kind of Place

McDonald’s is my kind of place.

I was born in the late 1960s, so most of my childhood was in the 1970s. If yours was too, you likely loved McDonald’s. From the time I was a year old until I was seven, I lived in a little town in Alabama that didn’t have McDonald’s. We had a local hamburger drive-in that was really good, but it wasn’t McDonald’s. We even had a Dairy Queen…not McDonald’s. Eventually, we got a Jack’s, a hamburger place based in Birmingham, Alabama, but we still didn’t have McDonald’s when I moved away. We often went to Pensacola or Mobile for doctor appointments or to shop, so we had McDonald’s then, and it was a treat! I’m not kidding…a treat we could hardly wait to get! Those hamburgers! Those fries! Those chocolate shakes!

When I was seven, I moved with my family to the Mobile area, and we got McDonald’s all the time, because McDonald’s was plentiful in Mobile…I mostly remember the two on Government Street, and the one near the University of South Alabama on Old Shell Road. As kids, we even went to birthday parties at McDonald’s, and those were the best birthday parties! When I was eight years old, they even opened a McDonald’s in Bel Air Mall…a big, huge deal, because that whole wing of the mall started smelling like McDonald’s. To kids back then, McDonald’s was a little slice of Heaven.

One night last week, I craved McDonald’s. It happens occasionally. McDonald’s crosses my mind, and I simply have to have it. That night, I hopped in the car and drove to the nearest McDonald’s, got in the drive-thru line, and placed my order: hamburger, large fries, and a large Diet Coke. The service was quick, and I didn’t even make it out of the parking lot before I started gobbling up the feast from the paper bag. That first bite smelled and tasted like childhood happiness. I can’t explain it, but as soon as I unwrapped that burger, I felt like I was a kid again. And the fries? Well, it doesn’t get better than hot McDonald’s fries. I have known that my whole life.

If you’re anywhere near my age, chances are you have some McDonald’s memories. Maybe you went to birthday parties there. Maybe you ate there after every high school home football game (like I did). Maybe you remember the aroma of those hamburgers and French fries. Maybe you remember the McDonaldland characters and can identify all of them! Maybe you went there with high school friends or stopped there for breakfast on the way to school in the morning.

Sadly, the latest generations don’t seem to appreciate McDonald’s like we did. However, our daughter might be one of the exceptions. She loved McDonald’s Happy Meals as a kid. I took her to McDonald’s because I liked it, so she learned to like it too. Sometimes, we met friends there, so the kids could play in the indoor play area. Sometimes, we went to the two-story McDonald’s in South Park in Charlotte. My daughter, when she was a little girl, called it the “upstairs McDonald’s.” But I think a lot of kids didn’t have the joyful McDonald’s experience because society became health conscious and frowned upon it. Too bad, because kids missed out on that little indulgence. McDonald’s is supposed to be fun, and frankly, I think it’s OK in moderation. Do I want my daughter eating there all the time? No, and she doesn’t. But if she wants some fries from there once or twice a month…enjoy!

Fortunately, my daughter has a friend who told me about the McDonald’s App. If you have any appreciation for McDonald’s and don’t have the app, you’re leaving money on the table! Through the app, you can earn points to use toward future purchases, but you have immediate access to special deals like Free Fry Fridays, BOGO offers, and more! Seriously, if all you like about McDonald’s is their perfectly fizzy sodas, get the app now!

Right now, they have a BOGO order on breakfast sandwiches. They also have percentage off offers on different sandwiches, meals, and beverages. Seriously, if you like their coffee (it’s good) you can use the app for deals on that!

So if you’d like to experience a little childhood happiness, go download the app. You’ll be glad you did, because McDonald’s is your kind of place!

by Kelly Mattei

A Whole Week Home From College

A whole week home from college.

In less than a week, our college student daughter is coming home…for a whole week! We haven’t seen her for seven days in a row since she left for college in August! We have seen her for a couple of days here and there…two football weekends, one day when my husband visited when he passed through town, and she has been home for two quick visits. But soon, she will be here for a whole week! In fact, she will be home for a little more than a week! And we can hardly wait.

Back in September, I booked her ticket on American Airlines to come home Saturday. But then, two days ago, she called me and said she wants to come home earlier. My first question? “Don’t you have class Friday?” She told me her Friday class has been canceled. I kept her on the phone while I looked at the American Airlines website. We discussed flight times and finally decided she could come home on an afternoon flight Thursday for only $99 more than we paid for the original ticket. Sold!

Seriously, y’all, I was so flattered that she wanted to spend more time with us. Anyone who has college-age kids will tell you it’s fun when they’re around again. I told her I was excited we are going to get to spend some extra time with her. And that’s when she said, “Oh, well, yes…but I’m going down to Columbia, South Carolina, with friends Saturday morning for the South Carolina game.”And that’s when I realized she isn’t coming home early to spend more time with us. She is coming home early to go to the University of South Carolina! I laughed out loud, because of course that’s what she wants to do!

I remember what it’s like to be 19, so I’m happy she gets to go visit friends in South Carolina with friends from home! I loved going to football games at different schools with friends when I was in college, so I get it. Will we, her parents, be offended when she wants to spend every evening with her friends? Nope, not one bit. In fact, I hope she will bring them here to gather at least once or twice. We love the energy they bring into our home, and I love preparing food for them…grilled cheese sandwiches, avocado toast, or even a late night breakfast.

But I also realize that, because she wants to go to South Carolina for a day or two, she is still coming home earlier than she originally was, and that’s a bonus for me and my husband! We are so excited! Of course, at the end of her stay, I’m sure I will be writing about how little time we actually got to spend with her! And that’s OK too, because we just want her to be happy and healthy. Spending time with her friends in Charlotte will be good for her. When she returns to Charlotte from South Carolina Saturday night, I will be here, ready to feed her (and friends) when she gets home.

Plus, I’m sure she will sleep a lot. Our daughter who has never been much of a sleeper will need to make up for lots of lost sleep while she is here. Sleeping in a twin bed in a dorm just isn’t the same as sleeping in a queen bed at home. I remember that too. There’s nothing quite like sleeping under your parents’ roof, with your dog in the bed like old times. She will sleep soundly knowing her daddy will bring her coffee in bed in the morning, and I will call her down for a hot breakfast shortly thereafter. Just like her last visit, we will have all her favorites at breakfast: scrambled eggs, grits, hashbrown casserole, bacon, biscuits, and Conecuh Sausage (again, if you’re not familiar with this, you want to try it. It’s from Alabama, but they carry the original sausage at most Publix stores. See the Conecuh Sausage website here). Some mornings, she might want avocado toast too. And she will get it if she wants it.

We are excited for her to arrive Thursday. My husband can hardly wait to go pick her up at the airport…a job he has already volunteered to do. I will ask her what she wants as her “welcome home” meal, and I will have that ready when she arrives. Of course, she’s likely to eat and run…or as my late friend, Wendy, would say, “chew and screw,” which means the same as eat and run. She was from Boston, and I don’t know if that’s what other people say there, but I think it sounds funny, so I say it occasionally.

Now, we just play the waiting game. My husband started his countdown today, telling me she will be home in just five days!

We are excited!

***Feature photo from Charlotte Business Journal***

by Kelly Mattei

College Homecoming

College Homecoming.

Lawn decorations on sorority row. Tailgate tents on the quad. Grills smoking. Families and friends gathering. A parade through campus. Band playing.

All these things contributed to a festive atmosphere when I went to the University of Alabama this past weekend for Homecoming. It had been a long time…10 or 11 years…since I had traveled there for Homecoming, but I was so happy I went this year!

When I was in college, we got dates to every football game, so it was always fun, but the Homecoming game every year was more exciting…more festivities, more excitement, more parties. It never occurred to me then that “Homecoming” was actually a time to welcome back alumni. I just thought of it as the football team was coming back for a home game after an away game. Thinking of “alumni” was just not on my radar. And with good reason…I was young and self-centered, just like most young people.

The fact that Homecoming is really for alumni hit me after I had a child. Taking her to the Homecoming football game in 2011 was the perfect opportunity to showcase my alma mater to her. And as anyone who has ever visited the University of Alabama knows, it is a beautiful place…worthy of showing off. My daughter was just seven years old at the time, but she loved football…not much choice in my family…you either love football, or you’ll be miserable during football season, because watching football is what we do. So when she was seven, my daughter and I went with my friend, Angela, and her daughter, who was nine years old at the time.

I remember we made our way around sorority row soon after arriving. The lawn decorations are impressive every year, and little girls love them, so we made sure ours got to see all of them that day. The lawn decorations are a lot different than when I was in college. Back when I was in school, the lawn decorations were as tall as the house! We had to climb on scaffolding to “pomp” tissue paper into giant chicken wire structures to show our spirit for Homecoming week…outside with music blasting till wee hours of the morning…boys helping us till wee hours of the morning. It was great fun in the 1980s, but now, it seems they do most of the “pomping” indoors, and the much smaller structures are placed on the lawn afterward. No more scaffolding…kind of a shame, because it sure was fun!

That Homecoming in 2011, we walked over to the quad and visited friends who were tailgating. We ate lunch in the alumni tent, and we ran into lots of people we knew from our college days. That is what Homecoming is about…visiting your alma mater to see people and visit with college friends you don’t see on a regular basis.

And this year, we did exactly that…spent time with friends we haven’t spent much time with over the last few years. I even managed to spend a little time with a friend I had not seen in 20+ years…one of the sweetest souls I have ever known. In fact, she is the very friend who told me after a bad breakup in my late 20s, “Just think! You get to fall in love again!” I reminded her of that when I saw her, and I told her how much hope it gave me after that breakup. Now, it’s what I have told my 19-yr-old daughter to say to her friends after they go through bad breakups. Because really…there’s nothing like that “falling in love” feeling.

We ended our Homecoming visit with a little tailgate time with a friend who had folding chairs that rock in her tailgate area. Not gonna lie…it was fun catching up with her, and it was hard to get up from those rocking chairs when it was time to leave! There’s something extra relaxing about a rocking chair…and I could have drifted off to sleep right there. But we needed to get moving, so I had to get up.

We didn’t stay for the game. We were spending the night at Angela’s house in Montgomery, and because we had a 90 minute drive ahead of us, we opted out of the game. We drove home on the winding road from Tuscaloosa to Montgomery, reliving the moments of the day…doing what we call “Post Game Wrapup” of our day. And while we talked about the fun of the day, we reminisced about college too. We had lots of good times at the University of Alabama back in the 1980s. That’s when Angela and I became friends, and we each remember different funny things that happened, so we laughed a lot on the drive.

We barely got to spend any time with our daughters, both of whom are students there. We saw her daughter for about an hour, and literally saw mine for a total of about five minutes! But I was happy…if she’s not clinging to me, she’s happy. I drove back up the next day to spend Sunday night in a hotel, so we had more time to visit. Then o came home Monday night.

It was a successful Homecoming. Yes, the team won the football game, and that’s definitely necessary for a successful Homecoming, but it was mostly successful because we got to see people we care about…people with whom we shared fun experiences in college.

And that’s what Homecoming is about.

by Kelly Mattei

Visiting Our Daughter in College

Visiting our daughter in college.

This past weekend, I went to visit our daughter in college. If you have read anything I have written lately, you already know she is a freshman at my alma mater. In fact, you probably know she participated in sorority recruitment and pledged. You probably know she had a medical emergency soon thereafter, and soon after that, she was in an automobile accident while I was out of the country. That was a couple of weeks ago. I would say it has been a couple of quiet weeks since, but I don’t want to jinx it, so I’m not going to say it.

I arrived in Tuscaloosa (she goes to the University of Alabama) Friday evening and checked into the hotel, prepared to go to the football game against Vanderbilt Saturday. We do not have season tickets to the games, because we usually only go to a game or two a year, but I do have connections to get good seats, so I scored some club level seats for four of us…my daughter and a friend, me, and my friend, Angela.

For those who don’t know, it’s commonplace for freshmen girls to have dates with freshmen boys for the football games at Alabama. Our daughter had a date for Saturday’s game, so I knew I probably wouldn’t see much of her before the game, and I might not see her much during the game either. In talking with some other parents before the game, I discovered lots of parents don’t know that. One mom said she couldn’t believe she had traveled all the way from Virginia to see her daughter, and she was barely spending time with her. But I was prepared. I knew that would be the case. Heck, I barely saw her when she was still living at home! Plus, I remember college. I remember just wanting to be in the thick of things. I loved my parents, but hanging out with “old people” when I could be having fun? That was not on my agenda. It’s not on my daughter’s agenda either!

And as my friend, Lauren, says about our daughter, “The wind wasn’t blowing hard the day that apple fell from the tree!” Honestly, I had fun in college, but our daughter is a lot more fun and less reserved than I was. She just flies by the seat of her pants, and she doesn’t want to miss a thing. So was it a big surprise to me that she didn’t want to spend every moment with me? Not at all.

Truly, I decided the trip down to Alabama was really for my own peace of mind. She didn’t care if I visited or not. Do some parents get their feelings hurt by that? I’m sure they do. But I told our girl in advance that I didn’t expect her to spend a lot of time with me. I told her I wanted her to do what she wanted, but I’d love to have a meal or two with her.

Here’s the funny thing: I am absolutely thrilled that she didn’t want to spend lots of time with me. You can think I’m crazy, but let me explain. It goes back to the old “no news is good news.” If she doesn’t want to spend a lot of time with me, it means she is happy where she is. It’s not that she doesn’t care about me. It means she is so secure in the knowledge that I love her that she feels free to do what she wants. I’m cool with it. I think I wrote once about something I heard Dr. Lisa Damour, a well-known author and psychologist say. She compared the world to a big swimming pool, and the edge of the pool represents parents. Our kids dive into the pool (the world) and swim right out. Sometimes, they get tired or scared, and they swim back over to hold onto the edge of the pool (parents) for a few minutes. But soon, they’re swimming back out to the middle of the action. That’s my daughter in the world right now…except she isn’t swimming over to the edge very often…and that means she is feeling pretty confident about her swimming ability!

Before the game, my daughter and her best friend were with their dates at their fraternity house. I was visiting friends in other places on campus. I had “transferred” two digital tickets to my daughter, so we didn’t have to wait for her to go into the stadium. Angela and I went to the stadium a little while before game time, and at about kickoff, my daughter and her friend came strolling into the club…starving. So they grabbed some food from the buffet and sat down with us for a few minutes before going to their game seats, where we joined them a little while later. At halftime, they announced they were going back to join their dates, and we didn’t see them again that night. Our team won, and we left the stadium happy. The next day, we all had brunch together, and after all the fun had died down Sunday night, she went out to dinner with me and then came over to the hotel and watched a movie with me, snuggled up in bed, just like old times.

All of this is my long way of saying that if you visit your child at college and he/she doesn’t spend a lot of time with you, say a prayer of thanks. Be thankful that they are so happy where they are and so comfortable in their relationship with you. Be happy that they are out swimming in the middle of the pool all by themselves! There will still be times they need to swim back to the edge, but it’s not today.

I’m saying my prayer of thanks right now.

*If you’re interested in reading some of Lisa Damour’s books, you can purchase them on Amazon here.*

by Kelly Mattei

Holiday Gifting (Part 5): Give the Gift of Fun!

Give the gift of fun!

So, we have all been hearing for weeks on end that we need to shop early this year, because the supply chain is messed up. I have seen a few signs that this might be true, so I’m looking to purchase gifts that don’t have to be shipped here from other countries. Near the top of the list? The gift of fun! Someone said to me recently that I remind them of Tigger from Winnie-the-Pooh’s Hundred Acre Woods. At first, I didn’t understand, so I simply asked, “Tigger?!?” My friend responded with, “Yes, Tigger! You’re always looking for the next fun thing!” Well, I won’t argue with that. And I love to share fun with other people! So why not give the gift of fun?!?!

Here are some ideas:

  • Amusement Park Passes. If you happen to live near a good amusement park and have someone on your list who loves rollercoasters as much as I do, a season pass could make a great gift! We are fortunate in Charlotte to have Carowinds, an amusement park with world-class thrill rides and rollercoasters. I used to be a regular there when our daughter was growing up, but in the last few years, I haven’t even been! I’d love if my husband gifted me with a season pass…it would give me an excuse to go!
  • Movie Passes. Movie theaters are finally open again, and we need to take advantage of it! I haven’t been to a movie since the pandemic began, but I plan to change that this week when I go see High Society (it’s the 65th anniversary) on the big screen! And I hope to continue going to movies! If you have someone on your list who enjoys a good movie, movie passes or a gift card to a local theater could make a great gift! And if they happen to love older movies, you might want to check the schedule for big screen oldies here.
  • Sporting Events. If you have a college or professional team in your area and have a sports fan on your list, tickets to a game could be a fun gift! In Charlotte, we are fortunate to have the NFL Carolina Panthers, the NBA Hornets, the minor league Charlotte Knights baseball team, and even some college teams! Not in Charlotte? Look around for other sporting events: rodeos, track meets, and more! If it’s a female friend, maybe you order an inexpensive stadium-approved clear handbag from Amazon (click here) and put the tickets in that!
  • Concerts. A few years ago, someone gave us tickets to a Sade concert as a Christmas gift. My husband loves Sade, but I was never a big fan…till we went to that show! John Legend opened and put on a fabulous show, making me a big fan, and then Sade was incredible! Wow! The lady is a performer! We had a great time, and I knew then that concert tickets make great gifts. Don’t we all remember concerts we’ve attended? How many gifts of “stuff” do you actually remember?
  • Special events. Maybe a local hotel or restaurant is hosting a wine tasting? Or maybe there’s a local Yoga and Mimosa event? Tickets to any type of special event of interest to the recipient make great gifts. A hotel near us, for example, hosts afternoon tea on weekends. Tickets are not required, but I have a friend who loves the afternoon tea experience at this hotel, so I know I could give her a hotel gift card with a note about the tea, and she would love it.
  • Family experiences. If there’s a family with kids on your list, they might enjoy a night at a Great Wolf Lodge! When our daughter was younger, she absolutely loved our local Great Wolf Lodge…the water slides, the restaurants, the kids club room, the arcade…everything about it. And I loved taking her and a friend, because I could relax while they had all the fun they could stand! Top Golf is another fun family experience…give a gift card for the whole family to spend some time together there! For kids, you might give the gift of art at Small Hands, Big Art, where they have art classes for kids of all ages.
  • Classes. I have a friend who loves taking classes. She just loves trying new things! She has taken cooking classes at Sur la Table. She has taken painting classes. She has taken glass-blowing classes and pottery classes. She loves to learn, so I know I can gift her a class of some type, and she will be thrilled!
  • Thrilling experiences. Have someone on your list who is a bit of a daredevil? Maybe they would like to try skydiving? Check with local companies…they might offer gift cards. Or maybe they would just to do indoor skydiving at iFly Charlotte. That’s an experience I’d love to have myself! Or if NASCAR is their thing, give them the Richard Petty Driving Experience! Into whitewater rafting? We are fortunate to have the US National Whitewater Center right here in Charlotte. It’s worth a trip to Charlotte for all the fun there! Or maybe they just like to watch thrilling experiences…like an air show. Air shows are held all over the country; check your local listings…tickets to an air show could be fun for the thrill enthusiast. Or perhaps flying lessons?

Just consider the recipient and think of something that would be fun for him/her. A cooking class sounds dreadful to some people (me), but lots of other people would co crazy over it!

The gift of an experience is something that will be remembered forever.

So this year, instead of worrying about whether or not the gifts you ordered are on a ship in the Pacific, give the gift of fun!