Category / freshman year

by Kelly Mattei

What to Purchase Now for a Dorm Room

What to purchase now for a dorm room.

My daughter just finished her junior year of college.. It’s hard for me to believe she is 3/4 of the way through college. I remember my own college days so well; I’m so happy she is getting to go to the same awesome university and have her own experiences. We feel pretty seasoned now that she has survived three years. So while I’m thinking about it, and since you have time to prepare now, I’m going to make some suggestions on necessities. Seriously, I know graduation festivities (ugh) are upon you, but start purchasing and ordering now, and you’ll have less to do as your college freshman’s departure approaches. You can also spread out the expenses over the next few months instead of being slapped in the face with big credit card bills at dorm move-in time. These are just a few items I recommend purchasing early, before everyone else jumps in, making them difficult to find.

Mattress Topper. I never met a dorm mattress I liked. Goodness. One would think they could find a way to improve those things. I was a freshman in 1985, and I daresay my daughter’s freshman dorm mattress was no more comfortable than the one I had way back when. We knew that would be the case, so we invested in a quality mattress topper. There are lots of them out there, but we opted for the Sleepyhead brand. Our daughter’s dorm room has a twin XL bed, so we ordered the Twin XL 3″ Topper from Sleepyhead. She loves it. Priced at over $300, it’s not cheap, but right now, they are offering a $70 coupon. It’s probably some of the best money I’ve ever spent. Our daughter used hers freshman year in the dorm and sophomore year in the sorority house. She loved sleeping in her bed, calling it “cozy and comfy.” She got two full years of use out of it. She moved into an apartment with a queen bed last year, so she can’t use the topper again, but we purchased Sleepyhead topper for her queen bed. Check out Sleepyhead on Amazon here. ***Keep it in the box until you get to the dorm room!***

Stand-up Steamer. I think people thought I was crazy when I told them I was getting our daughter a stand-up steamer to take to college with her, but it is one thing that definitely got used…and it’s so much easier than ironing! Plus, a stand-up steamer won’t “walk away” to someone else’s dorm room, never to be seen again! Our daughter participated in sorority recruitment as soon as she arrived at school, so I knew she would need to steam out her dresses before she wore them. We couldn’t have her showing up all wrinkled! She tells me she has used it countless times throughout the year for steaming formal dresses, cocktail dresses, and anything else that was overly wrinkled. We opted for the a Rowenta model. You can see it and purchase it on Amazon here. If you want to purchase a handheld steamer instead, I highly recommend one from Rowenta you can purchase here.

Bankers Box Smooth Move Wardrobe Boxes. These stand-up boxes are more for the move-in, but they were big helps with our daughter’s hanging garments. They have a bar across the top on which to hang the clothes, and they hold a lot of clothes. We only used one, and our daughter took a lot of clothes with her. When we arrived in the dorm, we simply lifted the hangers off the bar and moved them straight to the closet bar…super easy. For about $44, you’ll get three bankers boxes. We gave one to a friend who was going off to college too, and saved the third one…might use it for move-out. You can purchase here.

Swiffer Sweeper 2-in-1 Mop. I don’t know how often this item has been used, but if they can’t really clean the floor without it. At least give them a fighting chance at having a “clean-ish” floor. Plus, you will want to run it through the room before you set everything up. Just get it. It will make you feel better knowing your child can mop the floor if he/she chooses or needs to! Get it from Amazon here.

Velvet Hangers. I know how easy it is for a college student on the go to grab a shirt and just snatch it off the hanger on the way to class. Hangers go flying, and other items fall to the bottom of the closet. That doesn’t happen with velvet hangers. They have added a lot of organization to my own closet. I purchase Zober non-slip Velvet Hangers in Ivory. Just trust me on this one. Shirts don’t get horns in the shoulders. Dresses hang nicely and don’t fall off the hanger and into the floor. Get them at Amazon here. You’ll think you won’t need many, but start with 200.

And I’m going to repeat some move-in essentials from a piece I wrote recently:

Hulken Bag. I ordered two. My daughter has one at college, and I have one at home, but I will take mine down with me when we move her out. They simply make moving lots of items easier. We got large ones. Get them here.

Moving Bags. These are similar to the Ikea moving bags, but I ordered from Amazon, because I thought these were a little bigger and sturdier. They worked great for move-in, and I expect them to work great for move-out too! Get them here. (Keep in mind: these sell out during summer, as families stock up on them, so get yours early.)

Collapsible Wagon. We got one of these for our daughter when she was returning to college after the holidays. It was an easy way for her to get everything from the parking garage to her room. Get it here.

Versacart. This is one my aunt told me about, and it’s awesome! She calls it her “old lady cart,” but it does the job! She uses it to bring in groceries or any packages from her car. Get it here.

Stick with me, moms of future college students, and I’ll provide you with all sorts of helpful ideas over the next few months. Start shopping now! And please use my links above to purchase! *I may be compensated for some of the items I suggest, but I wouldn’t suggest them if I didn’t believe in them!

***Featured photo from sleepyheadusa.com

by Kelly Mattei

Someone On Your List Wants Barbie™ x Stanley Quenchers

Someone on your list wants Barbie x Stanley Quenchers. Now there’s a collaboration with the Barbie brand, celebrating 65 years of Barbie! Barbie x Stanley! These are hot items this holiday season! See all eight variations here. This is a great opportunity to get the perfect gift for the people on your list who love Barbie, or Stanley, or both! Get them before they’re gone! Use your Amazon Prime membership for free shipping!

  • Stanley x Barbie™ Icon 40 Oz Quencher Icon is the key word here, because this one is iconic! This beauty features the iconic Barbie logo in…you guessed it…pink! This 40-oz Quencher is priced at $60 and makes a great gift! Get it here.

  • Stanley X Barbie™ ’60s Twist ’N Turn Quencher 40 Oz With a soft, sorbet gradient and tangerine lid and straw combo, this vibrant Barbie Quencher captures the movement that made the Twist ‘N Turn Barbie doll so striking! Great colors and great for the Barbie collector too! Get it here.

  • Stanley x Barbie™ ’80s Rockers Quencher 40 Oz Inspired by the Barbie and the Rockers dolls, the Rockers Quencher features bright, retro graphics that are ready to rock. In a new wave style that is quintessentially Barbie, this unstoppable Quencher is born to lead. Purchase here.

  • Stanley x Barbie™ ’70s Superstar Quencher 40 Oz The hot pink and purple gradient of the Superstar Quencher is all about glitz and glam. A pattern of gold, dainty stars echo the sparkle and star-shaped stand of the Superstar Barbie doll. Purchase here.

  • Stanley x Barbie™ ’80s Western Ken Quencher 40 Oz Lasso your own Western Ken Quencher in a Midnight-black. With a print that mimics the contrast stitching and silver buckle showcased on the Western Ken doll, stand tall — adventure’s calling. Purchase here.

  • Stanley x Barbie™ ’80s Dynamite Quencher 40 Oz Rich colors, gold accents and disco lights of the Dynamite Quencher celebrate the first Black Barbie doll. Iconic in every way, the Dynamite Barbie doll debuted in a vibrant red bodysuit and wrap skirt with glamorous jewelry and star quality poses to shine. Purchase here.

  • Stanley x Barbie™ ’80s Rockers Quencher 40 Oz Inspired by the Barbie and the Rockers dolls, the Rockers Quencher features bright, retro graphics that are ready to rock. In a new wave style that is quintessentially Barbie, this unstoppable Quencher is born to lead. Purchase here.

  • Stanley x Barbie™ Icon 30 Oz Quencher The Barbie Icon Quenchers arrive in a bright pop of Barbie pink to celebrate shining bright together and creating limitless possibilities for all. This one holds 10 few ounces than the others, so it’s easier to carry and costs less! Purchase here.

These won’t last long! Take advantage of this opportunity to make lots of people on your list happy. Granddaughters? Check! Daughters? Check! Cousins? Friends? Moms? Check..check…and CHECK!

HAPPY SHOPPING!

by Kelly Mattei

Save 33% on KOIOS Air Purifier for Healthy Dorm Living

Kid moving to college dorm or dusty apartment? Have pets? A KOIOS air purifier could be a big help in air quality for you or your college student. Everyone who has ever been to college or sent a kid to live in a dorm knows sickness runs through dorms. Why not do everything you can to purify the air in your student’s space? Get one for the dorm room and a few for home! I saw a video recently in which about 50 college freshmen were asked, “What ONE item would you recommend for dorm living?” Most of them said, “Air purifier.” They are living it right now, so they know. This KOIOS model is “Amazon’s Choice,” meaning it gets great reviews, and as an Early Black Friday Deal, it’s 33% off! Get it for $59.99 (reg $89.99) here. It would be a great gift for a current or future college student! It helps purify the air in a large room…up to 1200 square feet! Use your Amazon Prime membership and get free shipping!

by Kelly Mattei

Christmas Gifts for Future College Students

Christmas gifts for future college students. ***I might receive commission on items purchased through my Amazon links.***

Have a son or daughter preparing to go to college in January or next fall? Christmas is the perfect opportunity to start stocking up on all the dorm or apartment necessities. Here are some items at different price points that will make great gifts:

  • Sleepyhead Mattress Topper. This is a great Early Black Friday Deal on Amazon! Sleepyhead makes what we call the “Mack Daddy” of mattress toppers! Normally priced at $379, the Sleepyhead Twin XL 3-inch Premium Gel Topper, right now, is just under $285. That’s a 25% savings! My daughter used this mattress topper her freshman and sophomore years, and she loved it. If you’ve ever slept on a dorm mattress, you know a mattress topper is a necessity for all college students. Sleepyhead makes a variety of sizes, from Twin to King. To purchase the 3-inch Twin XL Gel version, click here. But Sleepyhead has is offering 25% off all their mattress toppers on Amazon for Early Black Friday! Maybe you’d like one or two for home to extend the life of your home mattresses?! To shop other sizes Sleepyhead offers, click here.

  • Hollywood Vanity Mirror with Lights. My daughter has this vanity mirror. She is a junior, and this was something she knew she wanted in her apartment this year, and she loves it. It was super easy to set up, and it’s something she uses every day. In fact, she will get another one for Christmas…to use at home. With an Early Black Friday Deal on Amazon, it’s 15% off and priced at $84.99. This one is a no-brainer. Get it before it’s gone here.

  • Keurig K-Express Single Serve K-Cup Coffee Maker. If your child doesn’t drink coffee now, he/she likely will when they get to college! Or maybe they enjoy hot tea or hot chocolate? This Keurig Single Cup Coffee Maker is perfect for a small dorm room or even an apartment bedroom. Amazon is offering it at 33% off for an Early Black Friday Deal! Get it here!

  • Clothes Steamer. I hate wrinkled clothes. I hate wearing them, and I hate seeing them. I love ironing. Seriously, I love it. However, my daughter would never drag out and put away an ironing board. Therefore, we sent her to school with a standup steamer her freshman year. She and her roommate used it, but she did tell me later that it took up valuable space in a dorm room, but it never disappeared! If other girls wanted to use it, they had to come to her room, so the steamer couldn’t “walk away.” To see my favorite standup steamer, click here. If you prefer to get a handheld steamer, click here to see Amazon’s Choice. It’s almost HALF OFF! (Make sure your student’s name is on it, because people will “borrow” the handheld version.)

  • Bluetooth Speaker. They need it. College students need their music, and they need to be able to hear it well. My daughter has two different JBL bluetooth speakers, and my husband has one too! They come at different price points, so stick with me from highest to lowest. For big sound, I recommend the JBL Boombox. At Amazon, you can purchase the latest Boombox 3 for $499.95 here, or go for the Boombox 2 for $299.95 (a Black Friday savings of $25%) here. Both offer 24 hours of playtime on a charge, and both are waterproof! The Boomboxes are portable, but a little bulky. For something smaller, go for the JBL Extreme. The latest version, the Extreme 3, is available for Early Black Friday Savings at 24% off here. However, for big price savings without sacrificing quality, you can get the Extreme 2 on an Early Black Friday Deal for as low as $144.99 here. Both offer 15 hours of playtime on a charge!

  • Hulken Bag. When I tell people about Hulken Bags, they look a little confused at first, but when I show them a Hulken Bag, they get it. These bags carry a lot. They are lightweight, and they roll very easily. I keep one in my car, for those times I need to take a lot of returns somewhere. My daughter uses hers when she had a lot of items she needs to take in from the car or to the car. I recommend the medium Hulken Bag, and right now, you can get a great Early Black Friday Deal! These rarely go on sale, but there’s a 20% off coupon on Amazon right now that will save you $22 off the $114 price! That’s a deal! Take advantage of it now here.

  • Cordless Handheld Vacuum. This one is self-explanatory, I think. College students use these to clean up crumbs or small messes, and they use it to suck the dust/dirt out of their laptop keyboards. Come to think of it, I need to use one on my keyboard right now! Amazon’s Choice is the Black and Decker Dustbuster QuickClean you can purchase here.

  • Amazon Fire TV. I purchased this very 32″ TV for our daughter’s bedroom in her apartment, and then I purchased one for outdoor use at our house. Our daughter doesn’t care anything about regular programming. She simply wants to be able to access her streaming apps on a TV screen, and this Amazon Fire TV does the trick! Priced at just $99 right now (normally $139), it’s a deal you can’t beat! Get it here.

  • Air Purifier. Dorm living means lots of people sharing space. An air purifier can work to absorb some of those germs and clean up any dust particles in the air. Lots of people say it is absolutely essential for dorm living. Get Amazon’s Choice here.

  • Lapdesk. These have been around for a long time! I remember using one at home in high school…and maybe before! They’re not terribly expensive, but now you can get 20% off this one on a special Amazon Early Black Friday deal! Get it here.

Happy Shopping for the future college student on your list!

by Kelly Mattei

Sorority Rush Resumés

Sorority Rush Resumés.

Every year, between March and July, I see lots of resumés for girls who are planning to participate in recruitment at various schools throughout the south. And every year, I have to tell almost every young lady to add some information, so I’m going to tell you now what type of information needs to be included on the resumé for recruitment. *Also, keep in mind that old-school “rush packets” are not necessary these days. Most alumnae simply want a digital resumé (not all that paperwork!), because they will be submitting them online anyway.

In asking an alumna to write a recommendation, it’s OK for Mom to make initial contact, but the girl needs to do the “official” ask herself. The girl needs to communicate with the alumna directly via phone/text/email. Also, unless the alumna says “no thank you necessary,” it’s a great idea to follow up with a thank you note. Now, onto the resumé information:

First, keep the resumé to one page if at all possible. In fact, I always say, “Just find a way to make it happen. No one wants to flip pages. They should be able to glance at your resumé and see how awesome you are almost immediately.” There are great samples and templates all over the internet. You can purchase templates on Etsy.com or use the Canva templates. It’s not difficult. See some examples at Etsy here. ***If you have already submitted your multi-page resumé, do not panic. It’s not a big deal; it’s just more ideal if it’s one page.***

So what needs to be included? All of these things:

  • Full name along with the name you prefer to be called. For example, you could put “Mary Ann Jones (Mary)”
  • Full street address, including zip code (you’d be surprised at how many don’t include the zip code). If you want, you can add your dorm information for freshman year, but it’s not necessary.
  • Contact info: email address, cell phone number, and any social media accounts
  • Photo: include a headshot photo of yourself near the top of the resumé.
  • Education: This should include the name and city of the high school (or high schools) you attended. Also, include your year of graduation. THEN put the name of the college you will be attending and what your major is, if you know it.
  • GPA and test scores. It needs to be included. If you don’t put your test scores, they assume they are way lower than they probably are.
  • Family information: Parents’ names, colleges attended, and their Greek affiliations, if applicable.
  • Honors/Awards: This is where you list any and all honors you received in high school, beginning with the most significant! They can be school awards, awards from an athletic club sport, musical awards, theatrical awards…any awards. Remember to include Honor Roll (9,10,11,12), any honor societies, any all-conference or all-state athletic awards, and even any superlatives. If your classmates named you as “Most Likely to Succeed,” put it on the resumé! Add any award that makes you stand out! If you received an award from a volunteer organization for “Outstanding Volunteer,” put it on there.
  • Scholarships: List any scholarships you received for college. If you didn’t receive any, no big deal. Just don’t include the category on your resumé.
  • Leadership: List any leadership positions you have held during high school years. Captain of the volleyball team? Add it. Sunday School leader at church? Add it. Camp counselor? Add it. Secretary of student government? Add it. Swim lesson teacher or coach? Add it.
  • Activities: This is where you list your extracurricular activities…pretty self-explanatory. List any sports, clubs, or anything you are a member of.
  • Service: This is where you include information about your volunteer work during high school years. They like to see that you care about your community. Volunteered to coach little kids in soccer? Add it. Volunteered for Meals on Wheels? Add it. Get it?
  • Work Experience: Had a job? List it. Worked at a Christmas tree lot? Add it. Babysitting? List it. Sold items online for extra cash? If you were doing it as a job, you can count it. Add it.

If you haven’t built and distributed your resumé to alumnae who can write recommendations for you, do it today! It’s officially July! Get it done today! And remember: KEEP IT TO ONE PAGE!

by Kelly Mattei

What to Purchase Now for a Dorm Room

What to purchase now for a dorm room.

My daughter just finished her sophomore year of college.. It’s hard for me to believe she is 1/2 of the way through college. I remember my own college days so well; I’m so happy she is getting to go to the same awesome university and have her own experiences. We feel pretty seasoned now that she has survived two years. So while I’m thinking about it, and since you have time to prepare now, I’m going to make some suggestions on necessities. Seriously, I know graduation festivities (ugh) are upon you, but start purchasing and ordering now, and you’ll have less to do as your college freshman’s departure approaches. You can also spread out the expenses over the next few months instead of being slapped in the face with big credit card bills at dorm move-in time. These are just a few items I recommend purchasing early, before everyone else jumps in, and they’re sold out.

Mattress Topper. I never met a dorm mattress I liked. Goodness. One would think they could find a way to improve those things. I was a freshman in 1985, and I daresay my daughter’s freshman dorm mattress was no more comfortable than the one I had way back when. We knew that would be the case, so we invested in a quality mattress topper. There are lots of them out there, but we opted for the Sleepyhead brand. Our daughter’s dorm room has a twin XL bed, so we ordered the Twin XL 3″ Topper from Sleepyhead. She loves it. Priced at over $300, it’s not cheap, but right now, they are offering a $70 coupon. It’s probably some of the best money I’ve ever spent. Our daughter used hers freshman year in the dorm and sophomore year in the sorority house. She loved sleeping in her bed, calling it “cozy and comfy.” She got two full years of use out of it. She will be moving into an apartment next year with a queen bed, so she can’t use it again, but we will purchase another Sleepyhead topper for her queen bed. Check out Sleepyhead on Amazon here.

Stand-up Steamer. I think people thought I was crazy when I told them I was getting our daughter a stand-up steamer to take to college with her, but it is one thing that definitely got used…and it’s so much easier than ironing! Plus, a stand-up steamer won’t “walk away” to someone else’s dorm room, never to be seen again! Our daughter participated in sorority recruitment as soon as she arrived at school, so I knew she would need to steam out her dresses before she wore them. We couldn’t have her showing up all wrinkled! She tells me she has used it countless times throughout the year for steaming formal dresses, cocktail dresses, and anything else that was overly wrinkled. We opted for the a Rowenta model. You can see it and purchase it on Amazon here. If you want to purchase a handheld steamer instead, I highly recommend one from Rowenta you can purchase here.

Bankers Box Smooth Move Wardrobe Boxes. These stand-up boxes are more for the move-in, but they were big helps with our daughter’s hanging garments. They have a bar across the top on which to hang the clothes, and they hold a lot of clothes. We only used one, and our daughter took a lot of clothes with her. When we arrived in the dorm, we simply lifted the hangers off the bar and moved them straight to the closet bar…super easy. For about $44, you’ll get three bankers boxes. We gave one to a friend who was going off to college too, and saved the third one…might use it for move-out. You can purchase here.

Swiffer Sweeper 2-in-1 Mop. I don’t know how often this item has been used, but if they can’t really clean the floor without it. At least give them a fighting chance at having a “clean-ish” floor. Plus, you will want to run it through the room before you set everything up. Just get it. It will make you feel better knowing your child can mop the floor if he/she chooses or needs to! Get it from Amazon here.

Velvet Hangers. I know how easy it is for a college student on the go to grab a shirt and just snatch it off the hanger on the way to class. Hangers go flying, and other items fall to the bottom of the closet. That doesn’t happen with velvet hangers. They have added a lot of organization to my own closet. I purchase Zober non-slip Velvet Hangers in Ivory. Just trust me on this one. Shirts don’t get horns in the shoulders. Dresses hang nicely and don’t fall off the hanger and into the floor. Get them at Amazon here. You’ll think you won’t need many, but start with 200.

And I’m going to repeat some move-in essentials from a piece I wrote recently:

Hulken Bag. I ordered two. My daughter has one at college, and I have one at home, but I will take mine down with me when we move her out. They simply make moving lots of items easier. We got large ones. Get them here.

Moving Bags. These are similar to the Ikea moving bags, but I ordered from Amazon, because I thought these were a little bigger and sturdier. They worked great for move-in, and I expect them to work great for move-out too! Get them here. (Keep in mind: these sell out during summer, as families stock up on them, so get yours early.)

Collapsible Wagon. We got one of these for our daughter when she was returning to college after the holidays. It was an easy way for her to get everything from the parking garage to her room. Get it here.

Versacart. This is one my aunt told me about, and it’s awesome! She calls it her “old lady cart,” but it does the job! She uses it to bring in groceries or any packages from her car. Get it here.

Stick with me, moms of future college students, and I’ll provide you with all sorts of helpful ideas over the next few months. Start shopping now! And please use my links above to purchase! *I may be compensated for some of the items I suggest, but I wouldn’t suggest them if I didn’t believe in them!

***Featured photo from sleepyheadusa.com

by Kelly Mattei

Links to Sorority Rush Posts

Several people have asked for links to some of my posts about sorority rush. Here are some from the past, and I’m sure I will have some new ones over the next few months. ***I am not a rush consultant.*** Please feel free to send me any questions you might have. I am always open to suggestions and ideas for new posts!

Links to sorority recruitment (rush) posts:

  • Sorority Rush Preparation in the South, click here.
  • Sorority Rush Bags, click here.
  • Moms and Sorority Rush, click here.
  • Sorority Rush: Last Minute Items, click here.
  • Sorority Rush Conversations, click here.
  • OK, Moms, It’s Sorority Rush Time, click here.
  • When Sorority Rush is Over, click here.
by Kelly Mattei

Don’t Sweat Fall Sorority Rush Yet

Don’t sweat fall sorority rush yet.

I have received three phone calls from worried friends this week. Their daughters are planning to participate in sorority rush in the fall at big southern schools, and they are worried they should be working on “rush stuff” right now. No. The answer is no. Let your daughter enjoy her senior year!

Mom, you can start thinking about the preparation, but there’s no need to be consumed by it. What can you do now? Look up which sororities have chapters at your daughter’s school. Start thinking of your friends who know your daughter; which ones were in sororities in college and would be willing and able to write recommendations for your daughter? Make a list in the notes on your phone. Or you can do like one of my friends and make a spreadsheet. I’m not Type A, so a spreadsheet was not my thing. I just made a list. Anytime you’re out and about and hear that someone is a member or alumna of a sorority, make a note of it in your phone.

If you’re thinking about hiring a rush consultant, that’s entirely up to you. We didn’t hire one for my daughter when she rushed, and she landed exactly where she wanted to be. I have lots of friends who have daughters who have rushed, and personally, I don’t know anyone who hired a consultant. And all my friends have daughters who are very happy with their rush choices. The hiring of a consultant is a personal choice.

Seriously, right now, just start compiling your recommendation list and having your daughter start working on her resumé. The girls cannot even make a complete resumé right now, because they don’t know what they’ll have to add before the end of the school year.

In May, have your daughter contact your friends who are sorority alumnae by phone, text, or email to ask them to write recommendations for her. This is something she needs to do herself, and she needs to ask people who actually know her. In a pinch, she can ask a friend of a friend. Recommendations are basically introductions of your daughter to the chapters, so she will want them to be able to write about her from personal knowledge. For example, when my neighbor’s daughter participated in “recruitment,” I was able to write a detailed recommendation/introduction of her, because I had first-hand knowledge of her personality and great attributes. Try to get recommendations to every chapter, and whatever you do, make sure your daughter does not say to any alumnae, “I’m only interested in sororities A, B, and C.” First, it sounds bad. Secondly, until rush begins, your daughter might think she knows what she likes, but she might change her mind. She also might not get invited to the ones she think she will.

You can start looking at dresses if you like. Spring dresses are coming out now, so it’s perfectly fine to start looking and even purchasing dresses she thinks she will wear. When shopping, look for fairly conservative dresses but not too conservative. Amanda Uprichard offers some great options at amandauprichard.com.

But right now, the main thing is to have rush in the back of your mind. Keep you ears and eyes open for people who can help with recommendations. Soak up every moment of senior year of high school, and enjoy having your daughter at home with you!

Here’s a rough timeline of preparation:

  • January-April: Find out which sororities have chapters on campus. Also, make a list/spreadsheet of sorority alumni who can write recommendations for your daughter. ***ALSO, make sure your daughter cleans up her social media…no alcohol or extreme photos.***
  • March-May: watch the university’s Panhellenic website to find out when registration is. At most southern universities, you can register for fall rush starting in May.
  • May-June: Your daughter can contact sorority alumni and ask for recommendations, telling them they will send their resumé soon.
  • June: create a resumé using the Canva app or another app. Distribute the resumé to the alumni who have agreed to write recommendations. Most sororities want digital recommendations now, so please don’t do old school “rush packets.” If you don’t know what that is, don’t worry about it…you don’t need to know.
  • July: make sure you have your rush wardrobe, and finish gathering everything for the “rush bag.” For more information on the rush bag, click here.
  • Late July/August: move her into her dorm and let the magic happen!

I will have posts later in the spring and summer with more information.

Mostly, relax. Don’t let your daughter get nervous about it.

***Over the next few days, I will be re-posting some posts about rush and preparation for it.***

by Kelly Mattei

Take a Car to College?

Take a car to college?

Our daughter is a sophomore in college about 450 miles away from home. Last year, when she was a freshman, we sent her with her car. Her university does not discourage freshmen from bringing cars, and honestly, we are a driving family. We are people who like to “have our own horse.” Is it control? Maybe. I don’t need to control everyone else, but I do need to control me, and well…the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

The Facebook Parent Pages

Ahhh…the Facebook parent pages…a great source of entertainment. If you have a child who will be attending college soon or is presently attending college, all you have to do is go to the parent pages for the university to see every possible opinion on every possible topic you can imagine. Questions I never even considered asking pop up daily, and often, I get a good laugh. The latest entertainment on the parent pages for my daughter’s college is the discussion of cars on campus. One parent from out-of-state posted, asking if other parents had an opinion about their child taking a car freshman year. You can imagine the responses! Or can you?!? Holy smokes!

Some parents said they didn’t think any child needed to take a car to college. Several said, “I recommend no car.” Others said, “I think no child should take a car freshman year.” Bah humbug! I didn’t say anything in response, but I was thinking, “You do your thing, and I will do mine.” Some complained about parking issues. My daughter lived on campus last year and is living on campus again this year…no issues with finding parking so far. Yes, I had to purchase a $400 parking permit for fall and a $265 one for spring, but that goes with the territory. I actually feel pretty good about that, since it also offers roadside assistance anywhere on campus. Her university definitely doesn’t discourage freshmen from bringing cars. Heck, her university built a parking deck just for the girls who lived in her freshman dorm! Several parents on the parents page were like me and said they sent their kids with cars. One said, “I’m so glad mine has her car!” Amen, sista! Me too! Does that mean I think parents who don’t send cars with their kids are making a mistake? Nope. Nope. Nope. I will say it louder for those in the back: You do your thing, and I will do mine. Clearly, we all do things differently, and you know what? That is absolutely OK.

Do I think a car is a necessity at my daughter’s college? No. Will students survive without it? You bet. Mine would survive without it, but as my mother would ask, “Is that what you want her to do? Survive? Don’t you want her to thrive?” I know having a car is not important to everyone. I have a friend whose daughter didn’t even learn to drive until she had graduated from the University of Florida. It simply wasn’t important to her. Our daughter, however, is happier if she has a car. She is her mother’s daughter. You know how couples have code words for getting out of parties or social situations? You know…your husband somehow works “unicorn” or “confetti” into a sentence at a party, and you know he’s ready to go? Well, in our family, we look at our cars as our own “way out” when we need it. Cars are our mode of transportation, but they are also our “escape.”

Another reason for her to take a car? Our daughter undoubtedly has more driving experience than most people her age. She probably has more driving experience than people who are several years older than she is! Before she got her license, she had 120 driving hours, double the required amount in the state of North Carolina. I insisted that she have double the hours so she would feel comfortable behind the wheel of the car. In the four years that she has had her license, she has likely driven 100,000 miles. Therefore, I trust her instincts and reflexes better than I trust most other people’s instincts and reflexes. Personally, I would rather she drive herself than ride with most other people. For us, there is also the question of how to get back and forth to the airport without a car. The airport is about 45-50 minutes from her university. If she doesn’t have a car, she becomes dependent on friends or a car service that only books as groups on busy days, meaning she, potentially, could have to wait up to two hours after her flight arrives. Nope. For me, that is not an option. I want her to be able to get off the plane, into a car, and back to school as efficiently as possible. And depending on friends to do it? Well, if the friend is not on the exact same flights on the outbound and return, then it might not work out. Even if the friends are scheduled on the same return flight, they might miss a connection (we live in a hub city with nonstop flights, so we won’t), and then there’s a problem. That’s just not something I’m willing to worry about, especially since sending her car is not a hardship on us.

Maybe parents should make a list of pros and cons if they have trouble deciding. It was an easy decision for us, but if I had to make a list of pros and cons for us, I guess it could look like this:

  • Pro: she can get anywhere she wants when she wants
  • Pro: she doesn’t have to ask other people for a ride or take a shuttle service to the airport
  • Pro: she feels more independent
  • Pro: we don’t worry as much about her driving as we would if she were riding with someone else.
  • Pro: she’s happy
  • Pro: she can drive to visit friends or family in other cities (or at other universities) when she wants
  • Con: finding parking for some people, but it hasn’t been an issue for her at all

Honestly, for us, the pros definitely outweigh the cons. I can’t think of another con.

The moral of the story? If you are considering sending your child to college with a car, and the college/university is OK with it, you do what is best for your family. ***If your student’s university discourages it or doesn’t allow freshmen to bring cars, obviously, they shouldn’t take a car.***We all think differently. You might not want to have to worry about the car. You might not want to have to worry about the kid with the car. You might not want to buy the parking pass. Maybe you can’t afford a car to send with your child. Whatever…everyone has their own reasons for doing what they do. That’s one of the great things about parenting: we all make our own decisions based on our own experiences and our own beliefs.

If your student takes a car, I do recommend that he/she has the Life360 app on his/her phone. Browse their plans to see which one works best for your family. My daughter was in an accident last year, and Life360 dispatched police and called her to see if Medic was needed. Life360 also offers roadside assistance with upgraded memberships. Also, I like having extra “roadside assistance” options. I recommend a AAA membership for peace of mind when roadside assistance is needed. AAA follows the member, so even if she is in someone else’s car and needs roadside assistance, they will help. See the AAA website here.

Bottom line: I took a car to college, so I see nothing wrong with my child having hers. We believed she would be happier with a car to drive. Therefore, we sent the car with her. End of story.

****Amended to add that we have set rules for the car:

  • NO ONE else drives it, unless it’s an emergency situation (like my daughter is incapacitated)
  • Try to park under/near a light
  • Call me if any dashboard lights come on
  • Never let the gas tank get below 1/2 tank
  • Know where the wheelocks are
by Kelly Mattei

When Sorority Rush is Over

When Sorority Rush is over.

When sorority rush starts, for the potential new members, it seems as though the week will never end. It’s a week of great fun for some and a week of misery for others…and some fall in between. If your daughter is participating in recruitment, here is something you should know: it will end, and it will be emotional.

No matter how it ends, it’s an emotional time…an emotional rollercoaster. They might be overjoyed. The excitement might be overwhelming! They might be sad. They might even be angry or embarrassed. But emotions definitely run high. Here’s something no one warned me about:

A couple of days after rush is over, almost everyone falls flat.

Last year, my daughter completed recruitment and pledged her favorite house as a freshman. She was thrilled. She was excited. For about two days, it was all she could talk about. And then, about 48 hours after pledging, she called me crying. No, she wasn’t disappointed with her choice. She was thrilled. She was simply feeling down in the dumps. At first, I wondered if it was homesickness, but then I realized it wasn’t that at all…she was simply having a “post-rush letdown.” That’s what I call it anyway. After being “courted” by sorority members during the recruitment process and all the excitement of Bid Day, everything else seems flat. If you’re mentally prepared for it, you know what it is, and you know what to do to fight the “blues.”

I wasn’t prepared for it last year. I’m normally really good about remembering my youth, but I had forgotten about the post-rush letdown, so when my daughter called, I was surprised for a minute…until I remembered. I listened to her tearfully tell me she was sad but didn’t know why. Then, I explained to her what was happening. I told her that what she was feeling was normal, because it is. That level of excitement and happiness she had during rush and on Bid Day simply can’t be sustained. She was bound to crash at some point. I told her to go for a walk in the sunshine. Sunshine helps. I also told her to find one of her new friends and invite her to go with her. Then, I suggested she go to her new sorority house and try to meet new friends. Maybe get some exercise with some of those new friends?

A couple of hours later, she called me sounding like her old self. In fact, she went so far as to cheerfully say, “I love it here!” I knew she had turned the corner, and it was a good thing, because I was on vacation in the Bahamas having a great time!

This year, she participated in rush as a member of a sorority. She was rushing new members all week. She was feeling the excitement again! And on Bid Day, she welcomed the girls she had worked so hard to recruit. She was absolutely thrilled! Fast forward 48 hours, and I received a call. “Mom, I don’t know why, but I’m feeling sad.” This time I knew the answer, “Oh, honey, you’re having post-rush letdown! Remember last year? Remember how 48 hours after it was over you had a little bout of sadness? It’s the same thing! The excitement is over and reality is setting in.” I suggested she get some exercise. Two hours later, she called me laughing and telling me a funny story about something that had happened. She had made it through the post-rush letdown again. I just hadn’t expected her to have the same feeling as a member, but she did, and next year, I will be ready to remind her that it’s going to happen.

Why am I telling you this? Moms, I want y’all to be prepared. And I want you to know that the post-rush letdown is a totally normal thing. That sad feeling will likely pass quickly if your daughter will get some exercise and make an effort to make some more new friends. It’s a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, but just know the sadness will go away with some good coaching from Mom! Stay positive, Mom!

You got this!