Category / traditions

by Kelly Mattei

My Favorite Holiday Gifts 2019, Part 4: Sparkly Gifts

Yep…sparkly, because I love sparkly, and I know lots of other people do too! But if you think I mean “sparkly” as in diamonds, I should set the record straight here. I don’t mean diamonds. I mean sparkly as in glitter, sequins, and foil. Sparkly as in fun!

If you have someone on your gift list who loves sparkly things, you might just find the perfect gift right here. And if you love sparkly things yourself, well, go ahead and buy it for yourself, wrap it up in some glittery wrapping paper, put it under the tree, and thank a surprised member of your family after you open it. I do that every year! When I look at him after opening a gift he doesn’t know he got me, my husband plays along when I say, “Thank you, Honey!”

It’s no secret that I love glitter and sequins, and I believe in wearing them all the time to brighten my own day and everyone else’s. It just makes me happy to look down and see glittery shoes on my feet or sequins on my shirt or jacket. I can’t help myself.

So without further ado…here are my suggestions for your sparkly friends…

Poo Pourri Pink Citron Glitter Bomb Toilet Spray. OK, so this is not a glitter you wear, but every time you use Poo Pourri Glitter Bomb before you “go,” it will make you a little happier. I can’t help myself. I love this idea. I’ve already ordered a bottle for myself and a few for friends. Priced at $9.99, you can find it here.IMG_5492

Ugg Glitter Boots. The first ones I came across are the Ugg Glitter Cosmos Classic Short boots, priced at $189.95 at Nordstrom. They come in two colors, and they have my favorite feature: glitter! Get them here. Nordstrom also has the Ugg Cosmos Classic Bow Mini Bootie for $159.95, and it is adorable! Get it from Nordstrom here., and I’m angling for the gold ones right now. And Dillard’s offers the same bootie in four colors! You can purchase through Dillard’s here! If anyone is wondering, I wear size 9.

Artland Ambrosia Champagne Glass Set. I fell in love with the champagne glass set as soon as I saw it, because it is definitely sparkly! I love champagne and prosecco, because they make me feel like I’m always celebrating, and I think they would be even better in these glasses! I’ll be ordering these for myself…it includes six champagne glasses and one holder. Get the set at Neiman Marcus for $90 here.NMHCMNS_ez

 

Bari Lynn Sequin Wine Bag. For your sparkly friend who always loves to have a bottle of wine handy, this is a great gift! Priced at $25 at Neiman Marcus, it’s priced right, and it’s darn cute too! Perfect for celebrating every single day! Get it at Neiman Marcus here.

Lauren Moshi Foil Shirts and Blankets. My sister-in-law, my daughter, and I have been big fans of Lauren Moshi for a few years. Their t-shirts, sweatshirts, sweaters, and joggers are all supersoft and fashionable. We stumbled upon the store in LA several years ago…it’s right next door to The Ivy on Robertson, a restaurant often visited by celebrities. I’ve seen one of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in the store…with her tiny dog. The Lauren Moshi items with foil decor are shiny, beautiful, fun, and comfortable. I have a few of the foil pieces and love them. You can see all the Lauren Moshi foil items here. Prices start at $88. They’re not cheap, but they’re cool!

Gold Glitter Face Mask. The Swoozie’s website says, “Beauty doesn’t have to be serious…have a fun night with your besties with the Glitter Beauty Peel Off Face Mask.” It would make for some interesting selfies or pics with friends, and it leaves skin silky smooth. Priced at $4.95, you can buy several at one time! Get them at Swoozie’s here.239701-500

Zara Blue Collection Glitter Handbag. Priced at $49.90, this mini crossbody bag comes in three colors…blue, pink, and silver. It’s tiny, but it holds all the essentials while adding some sparkle to your ensemble! I’ll be carrying one of these to dinner soon! You can purchase here.8626004009_2_4_1

Glitter Duck Boots. Yes! It’s a thing! I saw these on the Belk website and ordered some for myself immediately! They came in last week, and I love them! They are so cute, and I can hardly wait for the perfect day to wear them. The best thing…they’re inexpensive! Priced at $59, but use code WINTERFEST at Belk.com and get them for under $45! See them here.Belk

Glitter flasks. For those friends or family members who like to take their own alcohol with them, Kitson’s offers two different glitter flasks. If I kept my bourbon in one of these, every time I took it out of my bag for a “nip,” I would smile…not just because of the bourbon, but also because of the sparkle! Priced at $19.95 and $28.00, these make great gifts. Get them here. Nordstrom has a cute one too, the Brumate Glitter Flask, priced at $22.95. You can find it here.

More Kitson gifts. And while you’re looking at those flasks, you might as well check out their other sparkly gifts. One favorite is the Ombre Glitter Box Clutch, priced at $68, and available in two colors. See it here. Kitson also has a cute sequined pillow collection…perfect for the person on your list who likes a little bling in her house. One favorite is black and white sequined and says “Dogs are my kind of people.” See it here. For a more pricey blinged-out gift at Kitson, there are the Chiara Ferragni Silver Slip Ons, and they sure are cute…and like I said, they’re pricey at $365. See them here.

Shiny Shoes. And while we’re talking about shiny shoes, I’ll share a few more. All of these can be found at Nordstrom. First, there are some cute hi-top Converse Chuck Taylors for $65 here. They also have some Vans Glitter Slip-Ons, priced at $59.95 here. But my favorites are some Keds/Kate Spade Slip Ons priced at $90. I actually have two pairs of the keds for casual days, and I get compliments every single time I wear them. You can get them here.

Kate Spade Glitter Huggie Earrings. Priced at $34.80 at Nordstrom, these glittery earrings are a no-brainer for your fashion-forward friends. They come in five sparkling colors, and with a different shape, they’re not your average earrings. Get them at Nordstrom here. b89afc68-5f46-4629-ba3c-b34049a8a61a-2

Rebecca Minkoff Leo Envelope Clutch. Offered at Nordstrom in three colors, this envelope clutch is glitter-covered and thin, but it holds all your credit cards, essentials (ID, lipstick, etc) and even your phone. I love this glitter bag in the multicolor version or the black version, because I feel like they go with everything. Get it for $128 here.167d95df-be86-435b-ae94-8a718b713ff7.jpeg

Rose Gold Glitter Pool Raft. Sure, it’s not warm outside right now, but this is a great gift for any glittery person who loves the sunshine! They can use it when it gets warm. At $29.95, it’s inexpensive, and I can almost guarantee they’ll love it! Get it here.271702-500-2

Glittery makeup. There are lots of glittery options out there. Three I’ve found are from Estee Lauder, NARS, and Urban Decay. Nordstrom carries the Estee Lauder Glitter Pot for $26, and the website says it’s “a twinkly, microfine glitter that delivers glamour, fantasy, and mystery.” Use it over eyeshadow or on cheekbones and bare shoulders to create some glimmer. Get it here. They also carry the NARS quad eyeshadow, which has four shimmery, rich colors for $52. Get it here. And don’t forget the entire Urban Decay Naked Honey line…see the whole line here.

Shiny Accessories from Neiman Marcus. Neiman Marcus carries lots of beautiful, shiny accessories. Some of my favorites? The Ban.Do Glitter Bomb Water Bottle…priced at $30, it’s pretty, and anyone who sees it will immediately feel happier. Get it here. For something really different, check out the Aprons by Jem Sequined Dish Gloves. Yep…sequins for doing the dishes! They’re adorable, and they’re $45. And while you’re checking those out, check out the sequined apron from the same brand. Priced at $145, it’s super cute. See both items here. Want to add a little bling to your home? Neiman’s has the Giselle Sequin Elephants Pillow in blue for $40. See it here. And last but not least, they have my very favorite new earrings…from Sachin and Babi…they’re $145 and come in white, silver or gold…the fabulous Clara Fleurette Sequin Hoop Earrings. I’ll be wrapping some of the gold ones for myself this year. Get them here.

Alice and Olivia tshirts. Alice and Olivia offers some fun sequined shirts in their line this year. In fact, they have sequins all through the line…dresses, skirts, jackets, shoes…but I love the t-shirts. Some of them are on sale right now, and they start at $117. Click here to see all the sequins in the line. Below are some of my favorite tees…

Socialite Sequin Bomber. While scrolling through the Nordstrom site the other day, I came across a sequined bomber jacket that is perfect for casual wear. No, I wouldn’t wear it to my daughter’s lacrosse game, but going out to dinner with friends? Yep. It’s likely aimed at a younger audience (and that’s great too!), but I think it would work for all ages. Priced at just $69.00, it’s silver with black bands…and would work well with jeans or dressed up. See it here.c35ed72c-8868-4499-a7f8-2c897c13f6e8

Joan Vass Lion Sweater. I like this one because it’s different. At Neiman Marcus, Joan Vass has a beautiful sequined lion sweater…black sweater with gold/silver sequin lion and red bands near the wrists. It’s scoop necked and looks cute alone or with a shirt underneath. Sale priced now at $202 (reduced from $270), it would make a lovely gift. You can see it here.NMTZ4VR_mz

 

You can see there are lots of options for the sparkly person on your list. Shoes? Yes. Sweater? Yes. T-shirts? Yes. Makeup? Yes. Accessories? Yes. And lots more! To find more, sit down with a glass of Champagne or Prosecco and go to different websites, entering “glitter” or “sequin” in the search bar to see what they have to offer. You’re guaranteed to find lots of “bling.”

*** Coming soon: Gifts for men! Stocking stuffers! Travel gifts! Southern gifts! And if you have a suggestion for another category…let me know!***

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

by Kelly Mattei

My Favorite Holiday Gifts 2019, Part 2: Home Gifts

If there’s someone on your holiday gift list who loves receiving home gifts, you’re in the right place. Or if you’re planning to go to holiday parties in folks’ homes, you need to be prepared to take some hostess/host gifts. Either way, I’ve done lots of research, so you don’t have to. Need some ideas? Every year, I take great pride in finding gifts that are unique. Don’t get me wrong. Nobody loves a good candle more than I love a good candle, but I also love to give unique gifts.

So here we go…for your viewing pleasure…gifts for the home!

Neiman Marcus 2019 Holiday Platter. I’m a big fan of the Neiman Marcus annual holiday platter, and this is a repeat from last year’s list. In fact, it will be a repeat every year. I get one for myself every year, and I get some for friends too. At $40, it’s pretty inexpensive, and the platters are always beautiful and well-made. And don’t forget useful…I use them all the time! This year’s platter is red, my favorite color for the holidays! You can purchase online here. And when you order from Neiman Marcus for the holidays, I always recommend paying the extra for the beautiful gift wrap. It makes the gift a little more special.

Custom Family Portrait. Sounds expensive, right? Well, it doesn’t have to be. A friend gave me the cutest family portrait from Mrs. Best Co. shop on Etsy. Starting at  about $40, these cute, whimsical portraits are fun and memorable! Anyone would appreciate this thoughtful gift! If you know someone for whom you’d like to do this, start thinking about doing it now! You can purchase here.Look around on Etsy at different versions. There are more detailed family portraits that are more expensive, but this one is fun!il_fullxfull.1514771239_4aevTea/Dish towels. I love when someone gives me tea/dish towels. I love flour sack dish towels, and I love funny dish towels. And I especially love holiday themed dish towels, because it’s an easy way to “decorate” for the holidays. This year, I found some cute ones at Target. They’re inexpensive, and they’re festive. Some are Sugar Cookie-themed, while others are Hot Cocoa-themed or just general holiday themed. Purchase for $5.69 (for two!) here. Amazon has some great flour sack towels too. You can see those and purchase here.

Coffee Table Books. One of my best friends loves Coffee Table Books more than anything. She knows I’m talking about her. While I don’t love them as much as she does, I enjoy them too. There are some great ones out there. Chip and Joanna Gaines have the coffee table book, Homebody, in Target Stores now for 30 percent off! Get it here. I also came across a lovely coffee table book earlier this year by Shayla Copas; it’s called Four Seasons of Entertaining, and while I would never be able to put together the things she pulls together, the book is full of great ideas and it is absolutely gorgeous! I actually met the lovely author at a signing in our local Neiman Marcus, and she was perfectly charming. Purchase the book here.

Knit Throw. Last year, I was all about the faux fur throw, and I still love them. But this year, I’m all about the knitted throw…especially the ones that are extra chunky. I could make my own, but frankly, the yarn alone would cost me more than purchasing a throw in a store. I found one in Target last night that I absolutely loved, and it’s under $70. I also found one at Amazon for about the same price. Does anything seem more cozy than a chunky knit throw? And they look beautiful too! Get one at Amazon here.61J1XPV1RPL._SL1078_

Mario Luca Giusti Set of Double Old Fashioned Glasses. Acrylic, acrylic, acrylic. These double old fashioned glasses are fun…the colors are fun…and the fact that they are virtually unbreakable makes them even better! I have lots of friends who would love these. For just $72, you can get these for your friend or family member at Neiman Marcus. And don’t forget the pretty gift wrap! Purchase here

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Custom Home Portrait. I want this. I want this. I want this. I think people love having pictures of home. And this is another good, inexpensive gift option. I have found some places on Etsy that do home portraits for as little as $25! Yes! You read right: $25! It’s hard to find any gift for $25 these days. Of course, some home portraits are more “custom” than others, so prices can vary. The photo below is from Bailemor Studio on Etsy and priced at $29. Look at lots of different options on Etsy here.il_fullxfull.2024205616_cw36Letter board. This isn’t something I thought I would ever recommend, but I’ve seen how friends leave positive messages for their families…in their kitchens, mudroom, etc., so I think they’re fun! And I think kids and teens like them too. Wandering through Target last night, I came across a few, ranging in price from $12.99 to $29.99. Look closely to decide which one will suit your friend or family member best. What a fun, inexpensive gift! See Target’s offerings hereIMG_5131

Glass lantern. A friend gave me a glass lantern during the holidays last year, and though I had never thought about one before, I absolutely loved it! She had tied a beautiful holiday bow at the top, and I put a battery-operated candle in it…it made for a lovely holiday centerpiece in my dining room. Therefore, I’ve decided glass lanterns make great gifts. And the recipient can change the bow for different seasons. I have several favorites. See photos below.

Decorative Dragonfly (or Butterfly, Bee, or Ladybug). These are just little tchotchkes, but they’re fun, and I think they make lovely, thoughtful gifts for the right person. For example, I have a friend who loves dragonflies…they remind her of her daddy. Another friend loves ladybugs, because she feels like they are good luck. They would love these little brass tchotchkes, and at $35, these are a bargain gift. Get them at Neiman Marcus.

Louis Sherry Chocolates. I have loved Louis Sherry Chocolates since the first time I had them at the Sherry-Netherland Hotel in New York. They come in lovely tins, and the chocolates are unforgettable. I wrote a piece about them in September. You can see it here. These make great hostess gifts for the holidays, and this year, Louis Sherry is offering a limited edition Nutcracker tin. Get the 12-piece tin of chocolates for $35 at Neiman Marcus here.Or order directly from Louis Sherry, where they are priced at $40.nmhcnlx_mz.jpg
Mason Jar Indoor Flower Garden. I saw this on Uncommongoods.com and immediately ordered it for a friend who loves flowers as much as I do. Flowers are beautiful and brighten anyone’s day, but what’s even better? Edible flowers! Using just this kit and some water, the recipient can have a lovely windowsill garden! Priced at $20, it’s a lovely hostess gift or holiday gift for a friend or family member. Get it here.42998_1_640px

Anthropologie. This is a first. I normally don’t just list a store in my gift pieces, but Anthropologie has lots of little, unusual, home gifts. Some of my favorites are their Agate Cheese Boards and their bud vases. But I highly recommend you just go peruse the site…click here to see their home gifts.

The Buttercup. If you live in Charlotte or find yourself in the area, visit The Buttercup on Providence Road for more great home gifts. See the website here.

Corner Copia Gardens and Gifts. In Fairhope, Alabama, shop Corner Copia Gardens and Gifts for lots of great home/garden gifts. Located at 11983 E State Highway 104 in Fairhope.

And those are my selections/suggestions for HOME GIFTS for 2019. I hope you’ll find something that will help make your holiday gifting easier! If you’d like to see last year’s selections for more ideas, you can click here. 

    UP NEXT? GIFTS FOR TEENS/COLLEGE STUDENTS…COMING SOON!

 

by Kelly Mattei

My Favorite Halloween Memories

I was born in 1967. In the late 60s and 70s, trick-or-treating was a big, fat, freaking deal.

When I was a little girl, just like lots of little girls of the time, I looked forward to Halloween. Everybody went trick-or-treating then. Mother would take us to Elmore’s 5 & 10 (in case you don’t know, it was called “Elmore’s five and dime”), TG&Y (info here), or Grant’s (info here), and we would pick our costumes. I don’t remember wearing a homemade costume before age 10. Up till then, it was those packaged costumes with the plastic masks that stayed on with an elastic band around your head. It was great fun picking Halloween costumes. We lived in Alabama, though. It can be hot in Alabama at Halloween, making it especially hot inside those plastic masks. In fact, I remember the inside of the mask steaming up when I would breathe. Good times! Apparently, folks eventually figured out it was difficult to breathe and see through the eye holes and nose holes in those plastic masks, and companies stopped producing them. Sad…I thought they were awesome. I remember a few plastic-mask costumes I had: Raggedy Ann, a bride, Cinderella. I remember my brother as a skeleton, Batman, a Planet of the Apes character, and an Atlanta Falcon football player. Funny that I can remember more of his costumes than my own. I was probably jealous that he got to be more cool things than I got to be.

A dentist lived down the street from us, and every year, I avoided his house. I would walk past on the street, but I didn’t step into the yard. I had heard older kids talk about bobbing for apples there. You couldn’t get candy till you bobbed for an apple. OK, nothing scared me more than the thought of sticking my head into a bucket full of water to try to get an apple with my teeth. I didn’t even like apples. I didn’t need their candy that badly.  And as an adult, it grosses me out even more. Stick my face into a water-filled bucket where other people had done the same thing…opening their mouths to get an apple? Yuck. I can only imagine what kind of Petri dish that bucket was. Sometimes, the dentist’s wife would hand out toothbrushes by the street…what a rip.

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The small town where I lived also had a Halloween Carnival every year. I don’t remember a lot about it, but I remember being excited about it, and I know it was another opportunity for us to wear our Halloween costumes. I remember two things: “fishing,” where we held a cane pole over a curtain, and someone on the other side attached a prize; and the cake walk. In a cake walk, folks have donated cakes to be given away. All the cake walk participants stand in numbered spaces in a long circle and walk till the music stops. A number is then picked, and the person standing on that number wins a cake. It’s great fun, and it was always a popular event.

As a tween, I loved going to radio station-sponsored haunted houses. My friends and I would all pick a night to meet at the haunted house that had been advertised on the radio for weeks. I think admission was about $3 per person…not sure about that. We would call each other from our landline phones and make plans to meet. Usually, once we got there, the line was really long, so we stood in line for a couple of hours before we ever took the 10-15 minute tour of the haunted house. The house was fun, but the real fun was standing in line with our friends…especially if there were boys there!

When I was a teenager, mischief was the name of the game. It was a different time, and people weren’t so serious, it seems. We loved to “roll” yards with toilet paper. Here’s the thing: we didn’t roll someone’s yard unless we liked them. It was a compliment…a way of saying we liked them. You could always tell if it was an all female yard-rolling crew, because most of the toilet paper would be near the bottoms of the trees. If boys were with us, it was higher, and if my brother were there, it was really high. In fact, rolling yards was so much fun that we did it other times of the year too…not just Halloween. I wish we had pictures of ourselves rolling yards…ahhh, the memories.

As an adult, Halloween can be fun with costume parties, but the real fun for Halloween comes when you have your own kids. Our daughter loved Halloween a lot when she was little. In fact, she wanted to dress up for weeks. And because she has an October birthday, several of her birthday parties were costume parties when she was little. One of her little friends loved her Daphne costume (from Scooby Doo) so much that she wore it for months. She was four…not fourteen. In fact, she wore it every day, but my friend (the mom) would make her wear something different one day a week, so it could go in the wash! Fortunately, the little girl didn’t wear the wig all the time, but she did wear it some!

Halloween is different than it used to be. Our neighborhood has a fun Halloween for the neighborhood kids…party in the park, appetizers for adults, and then the fire truck comes and leads the parade before the kids scatter for trick-or-treating. But it’s not the same free-for-all it was in the 1970s.

Wishing everyone a safe and fun Halloween 2019!
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***The images included are not my property. I wish I had some Halloween photos from my own childhood. ***

by Kelly Mattei

Game Day Snacks

It’s football season! Finally!

In North Carolina today, the sky is a little more clear, and the wind is a ever so slightly more dry. Maybe it’s a cold front moving in, or maybe I’m imagining it, but since today is National College Colors Day, I know it is officially football season.

I love all kinds of football…high school, college, professional…well, I don’t really like to watch bad, messy football (like that Florida/Miami game last week), but I will even take that over no football at all. I get it from my mother. The woman loved football. Interesting that the start of football season usually falls around her birthday. She is gone now, but I know she would be excited if she were here. In my house, you had to like football. You also had to like to watch baseball and basketball, or you were going to be watching television alone. We watched sports year round. I don’t watch baseball and basketball like I used to. I still like them, but I just don’t watch them much anymore. But football? Bring…it…on!

And with football, there are gatherings of friends and families. Where there are gatherings, there must be food. I’m not talking tailgating…that’s food on a whole different level. I’m talking football gatherings at home…like the one I’ll have this weekend when Alabama plays Duke in the Chick-Fil-A Kickoff Game. I’d normally go to that game, but my teenage daughter has big plans for the weekend, and I didn’t really want to go without her.

So here are a few of my favorites to serve at football parties at home:

  • Cheeseburger Mini Meatloaves. This is a recipe from my very favorite source, Hungry Girl. I’m an avid follower of on Instagram, and I subscribe to the emails and check the website regularly. These Cheeseburger Mini Meatloaves are simple to make and require only a few ingredients. You won’t believe you didn’t think of these yourself. I’ve served them several times, and every time, they disappear quickly, so make a few batches. See the recipe at hungry-girl.com, here.

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    Photo from hungry-girl.com

  • Toasted Pimento Cheese Rounds. Super easy to make. Purchase a sliced French loaf at your local grocery store. Spread your favorite pimento cheese spread over the rounds. Crumble a few pieces of cooked bacon over the top. Pop into the oven at 325 degrees, and remove when cheese is bubbling. You can add a small 1/4 slice of tomato to the top or not. I prefer Palmetto Cheese brand (see it here), and I like the jalapeño pimento cheese for an added kick.

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    Photo from pimentocheese.com

  • Veggie Dip. I love the flavor of dill in a dip, and I’ve found a great recipe for a veggie dip. It contains onions and dill, and it’s fresh and tasty. It’s just a few ingredients and super easy…but super tasty. Get the recipe here. Serve with your favorite raw veggies. I prefer carrots, broccoli, and cucumber slices.
  • Herbed Parmesan Popcorn. Popcorn is always a good snack for game days, but sometimes it’s fun with a twist. I found a recipe for Herbed Parmesan Popcorn that’s easy to make…notice a theme here? I don’t do complicated recipes. I’ve served it twice, and both times, it was well-received. Get the recipe here.herbparmpopcorn_jimfranco1-2
  • Seasoned almonds. My friend, Mary Ann, introduced me to some gourmet, seasoned almonds recently, and I haven’t been able to stop eating them. I think they are great to have in bowls around the room for a ball game. Made by Blue Diamond, I find them in my local Target. My favorite flavors are the Pink Himalayan Salt and the Rosemary. I like the Garlic, Herb and Olive Oil ones, but I have a feeling I will love the Black Truffle flavor too! See the Blue Diamond website here. You can purchase them in grocery stores, or you can order directly from Blue Diamond via the website.

And if you’re not up for preparing your own game day snacks, I recommend picking up from these two places:

  • Chick-Fil-A. I wrote recently about the Chick-Fil-A One app…don’t forget to use it if you pick up a tray of nuggets, chicken strips, cool wraps, mac and cheese, or cookies. And you must order in advance! I do all my ordering through the app, and I get those valuable points too! My person favorite for game day? A nugget tray with Chick-Fil-A sauce, a fruit tray, and some chocolate chip cookies. They’re always a hit. See the Chick-Fil-A website here.
  • Zoe’s Kitchen. I love Zoe’s. I discovered it when we moved our little family to Alabama for a couple of months in 2006, when my daddy was sick. Everything they offer is delicious. Their hummus tray is great for gatherings, and I love their pita trays too…a different kind of sandwich tray with a Mediterranean flavor. And if you just need some side items, I highly recommend their slaw and potato salad. See their website here.

There you have it…my recommendations for game day snacks. Let’s get this football season started! I can hardly wait for lots of games to be on every weekend.

Are you ready for some football???

by Kelly Mattei

Mom On Vacation

For the next week, I’m not just a mom. I’m a mom on vacation.

It’s impossible to take a vacation from everything moms have to do. I can’t (and don’t want to) ignore or abandon my teenage daughter. I can’t say, “I’m on vacation. Don’t expect me to make sure you have food, and don’t expect me to talk with you or help you with anything.” That’s not even what I would want to do. My very favorite role in life…ever…is my role as Mom. I love being a mom. Is it work? Yes. Do I want to get as far away from my daughter as possible on vacation? Heck no! I love being with her…but I do have some things I don’t do on vacation…and some things I love to do.

One thing I do on vacation is unthinkable to lots of people: I don’t check email. I know! In 2019, I don’t check email when I’m on vacation. Irresponsible? Yes, but I don’t want to see the email about summer reading requirements. I don’t want to think about school. I don’t want to think about things that need to be done. I just want to enjoy some time away. I enjoy it with my child, but I don’t want to think about all the other essential stuff like school, what needs to be done at home, and all those other things moms do.

The older she gets, the more time I want to spend talking with our daughter on vacation. When she was younger, she was constantly asking questions…all the time…and especially on vacation. Now that she is 15, I don’t get many questions, except, “Can we go shopping?” Or “Where are we eating tonight?” But we have lots of great conversations about life in general. Vacation is a great time for us to sit down together and just talk…and I love it.

On this vacation, I’ve been getting coffee delivered to the room when I wake up, and I sit out on our balcony and enjoy it. The mornings are just a little cool, so the caffeine and cool air make for a good wake up. My daughter and her friend will come out and chat for a little while. The hummingbirds don’t impress them as much as they impress me, so they don’t sit outside as long as I do, but we make a nice connection first thing in the morning.

And while shopping with two teenage girls can be torture, on vacation it’s more fun, because the stores are different. The people are different. The surroundings are different. And all that makes for more great conversation. Meals are the different too…new restaurants, new foods, new beverages, new experiences…all make for fun conversations.

But I will tell you what else I try not to do on vacation. I try not to nag. Yes, moms can nag…even me. Heck, especially me. My nagging is in the form of “reminders” most of the time at home. I remind her she has three pairs of shoes that need to be put away. Or I remind her that she has less than 30 minutes to be ready to go. On vacation, I try really hard not to do all the reminders. I try to just let life happen…happily. If we have a dinner reservation, I just tell a little white lie about the time of the reservation, and then I don’t get annoyed when she is 15 minutes late getting ready. Reservation at 8:30? I tell her it’s at 8:15 or even 8:00. It’s barely a lie, right? Instead of staying in the hotel room while she gets ready, I go to the hotel bar and enjoy a cocktail while I wait for her to get dressed. When it’s time to leave, she usually shows up right on cue…thinking, of course, that we are about to miss our reservation! But we’re not going to miss it…because of that little white lie.

Also, as part of vacation, I do things I don’t get to do at home. Swim with dolphins? Check. Climb a waterfall? Check. Hike through a rainforest? Check. Swim in pitch black water so I can observe bioluminescence up close and personal? Check. On this vacation, because it’s a city vacation, I’m not doing those things, but I’m trying new foods. I’m spending lots of time outdoors relaxing. I’m just enjoying life without thinking about things that need to be done around our house.

My friend, Angela, will be joining us today. She arrives in a couple of hours, and she will be doing a mom vacation in a different way, because her daughter won’t be here. Her daughter is on a trip of her own. Angela will bring even more conversation. My daughter loves chatting her up, so the conversations will get even better. They’re conversations that don’t always take place at home. And with Angela, I will enjoy people watching on a whole new level, because it’s vacation.

We still have another week left of vacation, and I plan to enjoy it without emails and without nagging. I plan to enjoy being a mom on vacation with my daughter and friends. And I will continue telling the little white lie about the reservation time…just to keep the peace.

by Kelly Mattei

A Weekend to Remember

Wow! I turned 52 on Memorial Day. While I have always loved my birthday, this one was extra special…and most memorable.

On Saturday, I flew to Los Angeles with a friend. She was my “plus one” for another friend’s wedding on Monday, because my husband needed to stay home to make sure our teenage daughter prepared for final exams at school.

We flew home Tuesday, but we still haven’t stopped talking about the wedding reception!  The bride is someone I met in LA a couple of years ago, and she is gorgeous on a regular day, but she was positively radiant on her wedding day, which also happened to be her birthday too! And I’m sure she will remember it for the rest of her life as well.

I remember when she got engaged. I remember she said these words to me, “I hope you’re ready for a big African wedding!” And honestly, I was flattered to be invited. She is a special lady who loves looking out for others and making other people happy. She is Nigerian, and her new husband is as well. Have you ever been to a Nigerian wedding? If you haven’t, you’re missing out. I can’t believe it took me 52 years to have that fabulous experience! There was so much to take in: the incredible handmade dresses of fine fabrics and beautiful colors; the culinary delights of the food; the African music we had never heard, but all the Nigerians knew every beat and every word; the exciting processions of both families and different groups associated with the bride and groom; the DJ who worked the crowd; the love of the families; the dancing! I could never write a description that would do it all justice, but I can say we met some lovely people and had an incredibly memorable experience. And I got to see my sweet friend get married. She and her new husband look so peacefully happy with each other.

Before the reception, I had wondered what food would be served. I was hoping I would get to have some Nigerian food, and I was not disappointed! For first course, we were offered an option of Peppered Goat Soup or Yam Porridge. I consulted with the bride’s cousin, who was seated next to me, and she steered us toward the Yam Porridge…spicy and mellow all in one bowl. It was fantastic, but I wanted to make sure I had room for the other courses, so I ate about 3/4 of the bowl. For the entree, we had a choice of five different things, and the cousin recommended the Fried Rice, Moi Moi, Assorted Meats and Plantains. I think Meg (my plus one) and I surprised the cousins by eating so well! The fried rice had a little kick to it, while the plantains added a little sweetness. And the meats…chicken and I think, goat ribs…incredible spices. We dined like queens!

If you ever watched The Wonder Years, you might remember the episode titled Birthday Boy, in which Paul (the main character’s best friend and neighbor) has his Bar Mitzvah on Kevin’s (the main character) birthday. I don’t remember everything about the episode, but I do remember Kevin was a little envious of Paul’s family traditions and history. Listening to Paul’s grandfather talk about his own Bar Mitzvah had Kevin wondering about his own family history…and I get it. Being at my friend’s big Nigerian wedding made me think of that episode of The Wonder Years. I found myself looking on in awe at how these lovely people had managed to hang on to Nigerian traditions in the United States. The people are American, but they remember their African heritage…and I loved every minute of it.

I will likely never have another experience like it. If it took me 52 years to be able to experience it once, it’s not likely I will get to do it again. But I will always remember it. I wish my daughter could have gone. I wish she could have experienced it. I learned a lot, and the bride’s cousins answered all my questions, even though it had to be difficult to hear me, since I can’t talk above a whisper with laryngitis. They were so kind and patient while I tried to ask my questions about details.

So yes, I had a happy birthday…it was fantastic. Most of all, I am grateful to my friend for inviting me to celebrate her new marriage with her…a happy birthday, indeed!

by Kelly Mattei

It’s Wedding Time!

In less than two weeks, my friend, Meg, and I are going to a wedding in California together. A friend of mine is getting married. My husband needs to stay home with our daughter while she studies for final exams, so I asked Meg to be my “plus one.” We are excited. The bride will be beautiful, of course, because she is beautiful.

But before the fun begins, Meg and I have been searching for the perfect dresses to wear. It’s a formal event, so we need floor-length dresses. I didn’t say we need “gowns,” because that sounds way too dramatic for me. When I think of a “gown,” I think of a giant, billowy dress with beading all over it. I’m not doing that, and Meg’s not either. Also, we don’t want to look like the “mother-of-the-bride.” We are simply doing floor-length. But we need transitional dresses, because the wedding is early afternoon, and the reception is late afternoon into the evening. Maybe some people will go back to their hotels or homes and change between the service and the reception, but Meg and I won’t have time. Therefore, our dresses need to be OK for the early service and the later reception. Whew!

I found two dresses that will work for me.

Here’s what I have learned from this process: it’s hard to find a floor-length dress you like, but it is especially difficult to find one that will go from day to evening, but you can find them! Here are some suggestions:

  • If you’re short like me (5’2″), you might be able to find some beautiful midi-length dresses that will work as floor-length on you, and you might not have to get them altered. The two dresses I think will work are both supposed to be midi-length for “normal” people, but on me, it’s floor-length!
  • Check local boutiques. Sometimes, they offer a better selection than the big box stores, because they are more specialized. Sales associates are likely to be able to pull some dresses that might work for you.
  • Department stores are good places to look, too, though, and often have in-house alterations departments that can do it all. You can check these websites online: Belk.com, Neimanmarcus.com, Nordstrom.com, Bloomingdales.com, and there are some great discount sites like Nordstromrack.com, Lastcall.com, and Saksoff5th.com. If you have a Nordstrom Rack, Saks Off 5th, or Last Call store in your area, you might find a great designer dress at a rock bottom price. I have found two in Saks Off 5th in the past.
  • Another great resource? Ebay! If you know which brands usually work for you, it can be easy to find something on Ebay. For example, I know how Diane Von Furstenberg fits me, so I can feel pretty safe about ordering DVF on Ebay, even though I can’t try it on and sometimes can’t return it. However, I am very careful about how much I will pay for items on Ebay. And here’s another secret: I’ve purchased lots of things on Ebay before wearing them for an event…and then I resell them after I am done with them!
  • Rent the Runway is an online site that offers designer dresses for rent, so you pay a fraction of the cost to wear it for an event and then return it! I have friends who use it regularly and swear by it. You can see the website here.
  • Years ago, when I lived in Mobile, I rented a dress from a local place for a Mardi Gras ball. Everything worked out great, so I recommended it to all my friends then. It has been 20 years since, so I don’t remember the name of the place, or I would recommend it now. But in Charlotte, we have a dress-rental shop called Dressed. I haven’t been there, but you can see their website here.
  • Amazon Prime now offers a service called Prime Wardrobe. You can order some of their clothing items through the program, and they will send them for you to try on. If you like them, you keep them, and they charge your credit card. If you don’t like them, you have seven days to return them free of charge! I’ve used it several times and love it! If you’re a Prime member, it’s included with your membership!

So do not fret if you need the perfect dress for an occasion. You will find something, even it if seems like an impossible task. Try some of the options listed above. If you’re looking to keep costs down, check out local boutique sales or even thrift stores. Try some of the discount designer sites, or check out the rental sites and stores. I’ve dug deep to help you find options, and I’m saving all this information for my future needs. With wedding season quickly approaching, you might find this information helpful.

I will post pics of us at the wedding on Memorial Day, which is also the brides birthday…and mine too!

 

 

 

 

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by Kelly Mattei

Happy Mother’s Day

To all you mothers out there…Happy Mother’s Day!

Mother’s Day has taken on a whole new meaning since my mother died in December 2017. I miss my mother, just like anyone who has lost their mom. Today, I will tell stories about her, and I will drink a toast to her at brunch, but I won’t be sad. I am happy, because I had a wonderful mother.

My little family will go to brunch, just like we always do on Mother’s Day. My husband sent me flowers yesterday, and I sent myself some Baked by Melissa mini cupcakes…any excuse for some Baked by Melissa mini cupcakes! If you’ve never tried them, you need to try them. You can see the website here. Mine arrived on Friday. I ordered 50 minis. My husband was with me when I opened the box, and he was waiting to see who sent them. When I looked at the card, it simply said, “Happy Mother’s Day.” He looked at me and asked, “Who do you think sent them?” I laughed and said, “I sent them to myself!” He wasn’t surprised; he just shook his head and walked out of the room. And when he did, I strategically hid mini cupcakes in the refrigerator, so I can have them all to myself! Here’s a picture to show you how quickly they are disappearing:

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Of course, we don’t have to get gifts to make us feel special on Mother’s Day.All I want is to share a big hug with my daughter, and I’ll give her a little gift, just like Mama used to always do. She always said she should give us gifts on Mother’s Day, because she was so happy to be our mother. That’s exactly how I feel about my daughter. I absolutely love being her mother. Is it all fun and games? No. But it’s all love, for sure.

Recently, I found a necklace of Mother’s. Somehow, I didn’t even know I had it, but I found it last Sunday as I was getting ready to go hear my friend, Linda, singing in a concert. It’s a gold chain with a little blush-colored egg, and a tiny cardinal is peeking out of the egg. I’ll wear it to brunch today. So while Mama won’t be with me in person, but she’ll be with me in spirit.

One thing I know for sure is that my mama loved me. All my life, I thought I knew how much she loved me, but I didn’t really know till I was 36 years old. When I became a mother, I realized just how much my mother had loved me my whole life. I remember telling her then, “I always knew you loved me, and I always thought I understood how much, but now that I have my own child, I really know how much you love me.”

If you still have your mother on this Mother’s Day, give her a big hug, or at least a meaningful phone call if you’re far away, and tell her you love her. If you don’t have your mother, honor her memory by telling at least one memorable story about her. And if you are a mother, give your babies (no matter how big or old they are) a big hug.

Happy Mother’s Day, you mothers!

 

 

 

 

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by Kelly Mattei

What’s In A Name?

What’s in a name?

Prince Harry and Megan just had a baby boy and named him Archie Harrison. And then it happened…everybody voiced their opinions. Even I voiced my opinion…not that Megan and Harry really care what I think. I’ve heard some folks say they love that it’s less formal, and I’ve heard others who think it’s not formal enough. Does it really matter? Does anyone besides that baby have to walk around with that name? To see pics of Archie, click here.

I remember when Prince Harry was born, and I remember when Prince Charles and Diana announced his given names…Henry Charles Albert David. They also announced they would call him Harry. And you know what? The reaction was similar to the reaction to Archie’s name. Lots of folks thought “Prince Harry” sounded ridiculous, and others loved it. Lots of people didn’t care. Now, though, Harry is grown, and we are all so accustomed to calling him Prince Harry that no one thinks it’s odd. I never hear anyone say anything about his name.

Our daughter was born when I was 36 years old. All my friends were already moms, and I had seen them deal with struggling to name their babies. Anytime someone told people what they planned to name a baby before it was born, people offered their unsolicited opinions. Or maybe they got the dreaded, “Is it a family name?” That question often means they think it’s an ugly name. I know people thought I was crazy when we named our baby girl Camilla, but I think it’s a pretty name. Also, there are some family connections, and we wanted to name her a traditional name that everyone didn’t use. I didn’t want to call her name on a playground and have every other little girl think I might be calling her. She goes by a shortened version of the name now. But before she was born, I told no one her name. I didn’t want to hear the unsolicited opinions, and a friend in Florida told me that if we waited till we had already named her, people would feel less inclined to say anything.

My own name is, obviously, Kelly. I was born in the late 1960s, when Kelly was quite popular. And even though there were lots of other Kellys in my generation, I have always  loved my name. To me, it sounds like a happy name. There was always another Kelly in my classes at school…boys and girls…so I often was called by my first and last names, but that’s OK. I still like my name, and I didn’t care that there were others, but I just thought, for my daughter, I wanted her to be the only one with her name in school. And even shortening it to Milly, she was the only one in her grade…until sixth grade, when another one came to her grade at school. She wasn’t happy about another one coming in, even thought she spelled it Millie, instead of Milly. She said, “Now I’m going to be called by my first and last names!” I reminded her she was there first, so it was likely the new girl would be called by both names. I said then, “You know, if you went by Camilla, you’d be the only one.” She grimaced.

No matter what someone names us, our names don’t define us. I have a lifelong friend named Eloyse who is a fabulous person. She’s funny, thoughtful, generous, bright, and a great friend, but when I considered that for our daughter and her we were considering it, she said, “No! Do not do that to your child!” I love the name…maybe because I love the person, but on her advice, I didn’t name our daughter Eloyse, but I still think it’s a beautiful name.

I do think our opinions of names are affected by people we’ve known. When my husband and I were discussing names, I would throw a name out there, and he would poo-poo it for various reasons. Maybe he dated someone with the name. Maybe he didn’t like someone with the name. Maybe he was afraid of the nicknames that could be formed with the name. Maybe he thought people wouldn’t be able to pronounce it. Or he thought it sounded too old. And I did the same things when he brought up names. We eventually found a few we could agree on and picked one, but it was a process.

So, whether people name their boys Aloysius or John, or they name their girls Esmeralda or Jane, I no longer offer my opinion. I know one thing for sure: those children will shape those names more than those names shape those children. I used Aloysius as an example, because while lots of people think it’s an odd, old-sounding name, I knew someone named Aloysius, and I thought he was awesome…so I like the name.

And now, I’m off to lunch with some friends: Kelli and Kelly. No joke. Three ladies with various spellings of the same name are having lunch together today. We are all different ages too! I’m the oldest at 51 (two weeks from 52!). The next one is 47, and the youngest is 42. I was born in the 1960s, and they were born in the 1970s. Pretty amazing that we are all friends with the same name…and there is a ten year age range.

What’s in a name? I say the person makes the name instead of the name making the person. So, God bless Archie! If he’s anything like his daddy, Prince Harry, he’ll be charming and adorable.

Thoughts?

 

 

 

 

 

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by Kelly Mattei

Long Distance Friends

For Easter weekend, my daughter had a friend fly in from Ohio to spend a few days with us. The friend is the daughter of one of my friends.

The girls have been friends since they were about two. Their birthdays are one month apart. They are both only children. My friend, her husband, and her daughter moved to Ohio from Charlotte when our girls were four. We were brokenhearted when they moved, but we’ve made a point to vacation together every year since.

A few weeks before Easter, I texted my friend, Jennifer, and asked if her daughter might be able to come spend Easter with us. She promptly booked the flights, and on Good Friday, my daughter and I drove in the pouring rain to the airport to pick up her friend. We opted to park in short-term parking, so we could walk in and meet her. When we got inside the baggage claim area, we discovered the flight was more delayed than we thought. We waited. And we waited. And finally, we saw it had arrived.

We all hugged in the airport and headed home.

Here’s the point of this story: the two 15-yr-old girls acted like they had never been apart. They haven’t seen each other since January, but they picked up exactly where they had left off. When we got home, they went up to my daughter’s room and chatted and laughed. They made cookies. They ate late-night snacks. And they laughed.

The next night, another childhood friend slept over at our house. She is also a beloved friend…the daughter of another friend who lives local. The three of them laughed till their stomachs hurt…it was like music to my ears.

They woke up on Easter morning and came down to see if the Easter Bunny had visited, and indeed, he had. They rummaged through their baskets to find candy, soaps, lotions, a garden gnome, bunny slippers…and Kooky Klickers, a childhood toy they all hung on their book bags in elementary school. Everybody loves nostalgia. And after we had taken some photos, I was their short-order cook: pancakes, fried eggs, scrambled eggs, bacon, cheese grits…anything they wanted. I had all those “little girls” together again. Sure, they’re fifteen, but every time I looked at them, I saw the giggling four-year-olds. Happiness. Comfort. Love. That’s what I saw.

Fifteen is a tough age for girls. If you ever were a 15-yr-old girl, you remember it. They can’t drive, but they want to have social lives. They try to make plans, but their plans have to coincide with their parents’ plans. They are in high school and still figuring out who they are. We have to let them make decisions, and sometimes they make bad decisions, but they learn from them. As freshmen, they are the low people on the totem pole in high school…and they are very aware of it.

Last year, I went to hear a well-known psychologist (and author!)speak about teenagers. Her name is Lisa Damour, and she is full of all kinds of wisdom. She’s not bossy or judgy…she’s real. You can see her Facebook page here. (She writes a monthly column for The New York Times.)What I remember most is that she compared the world to a big swimming pool. Basically, she said we have to let our teenagers swim out into that pool (the world). Sometimes, they get too far from the side or they feel like they are going to drown, so they hurry back to the side. We, as parents, are the side of the pool.  After they hang on for a minute, they swim back to the center of the pool. And that’s how it goes with teenagers…they swim out and come back to us for a moment of support, and then they swim back out there.

Over Easter weekend, I think my daughter felt like she was back in the kiddie pool with her childhood friends. She didn’t feel like she had to be out in the big pool. She was happy to be right there with them, and she never needed to swim to the side.

Her friends had to go home after a fun weekend, but my daughter had gained comfort and new confidence from swimming in the kiddie pool for a few days. She was ready to go back to school and tackle the rest of the school year.

And now, she just has to make it through five more weeks of school to make it to the freedom of summer. We will vacation with our Ohio friends this summer. We don’t know what we’ll do, but we will definitely spend some time with them, because the best friends to have are those who want nothing from you but your company…and they are those, indeed.