Tag / parenting

by Kelly Mattei

When I Was a Kid…

When I was a kid…

***Feature photo from ABC News***

When I was growing up, I heard adults (including my parents) start sentences with “when I was a kid” all the time. As a teenager, I would hear it and think, “Everything’s not like it was in the 1950s!” Now, I catch myself saying it.

We are staying in a rental beach condo for the long weekend. Our college student daughter and a friend met us here. Yesterday, my daughter texted me at 8:30am, asking, “What is that noise?” I thought it was probably people at the elevator, so I told her to turn on white noise to drown it out. This morning, she texted me again, “I hear kids outside my window again.” Her window faces the hallway. I decided to investigate, expecting to find people talking while waiting for the elevator.

I opened the door and stepped into the hallway, and I was surprised to find four little boys…ages approximately 3, 4, 8, and maybe 10…playing in the hall. Yes, playing in the hall. Don’t get me wrong. I love when children play, but in the hallway of a hotel-type building? No, thank you.

This is where “when I was a kid” comes in. When I was a kid, my parents had very strict rules about hotels. We were not allowed to run and play in hotel hallways. We were not allowed to talk loudly in the hallway or even in the room…no indoor “horseplay” at all. We were not allowed to play on the elevators. We were allowed to play as much as we wanted in the pool and in resort play areas. It was about respecting the other hotels guests. We didn’t want to disturb them. My husband and I held our daughter to the same standard and had the same rules. We didn’t even have to “enforce” the rules, because she understood she wasn’t supposed to do those things. Not once in my life have I ever had someone ask me to hold down the noise in a hotel.

I know I’m not alone about this rude behavior, because I read an article about the “most annoying” hotel guests, and you can read it here.

That brings me back to the kids in the hall. I was on the phone with a friend when the kids were playing in the hallway today, so I asked my friend what she thought. She told me her parents had the same rules as mine, and she and her husband have the same rules for their kids. Apparently, the parents of the kids in the hall this morning don’t have the same rules.

There is no way I would admonish them, but I decided to speak nicely with them. I stepped outside where the four kids under ten were playing and said, “Hey guys! I have a favor to ask. Do you mind holding the noise down a little? My kids are trying to sleep in the room right here.” They said, “Yes ma’am.” And I said, “Thank you so much. Y’all are very sweet.”

And you know what? They actually kept the noise down! They were good kids. It wasn’t their fault their parents were allowing them to engage in the most annoying hotel guest behavior. When I was a kid, that wouldn’t have happened on my parents’ watch.

by Kelly Mattei

Great Deals on Active Family Gifts

Great Deals on Active Family Gifts…

Our little family has had a lot of of fun over the years with active holiday gifts. Here are some great ideas for members of every family. Let’s gooooooo:

  • Razor DXT Drift Trike Yellow, One Size This drift trike has a capacity of 198 pounds, so mom and dad can join in on the fun when Jr’s not playing with it. Steel trike style frame combined with Super Slider POM rear wheels. Riders can power slide through corners, throw fish tails or fast 180s! It’s fun for the whole family… no joke, I think everyone in my family would have a blast with these! I should mark these as ***Great Gifts for Grandchildren***! Grandma and Grandpa, you will be heroes if you deliver these at Christmas! And at writing, it’s 20% off, just $169. Get one (or two or three) for your little daredevils (or Dad!) here.
  • Razor RipRider 360 Caster Trike for Kids Ages 5+ – Lightweight, Rubber Handlebars, Steel Frame, for Riders up to 160 lbs. A great gift for kids (and some adults!) of all ages. This was, without a doubt, one of our daughter’s favorite toys when she was growing up. It keeps them moving! Purchase here. Razor makes lots of great active gifts to keep kids moving. To see what they offer, click here.
  • Flybar Pogo Sticks. Y’all, these were some of the best Christmas gifts ever. We were all pretty good at it, but our daughter could pogo forever. I have videos of her bouncing all over the driveway and the back patio. These are great exercise, and you can purchase them for different ages and levels…yes, even adults! To see a Flybar pogo stick for kids 40 to 80 pounds, click here. To see the pogo stick for weights 120-220, click here. For 80-160 pounds, click here. But there are pogo toys for all ages! Check out the Pogo Ball for children and adults up to 200 pounds here. Check out the Flybar store here.

  • Spikeball 3 Ball Original Roundnet Game Set – Includes 3 Balls, net and Bag. A great way to get the family outdoors and playing together. This competitive game is tons of fun, and it’s portable! Set up is easy. It’s also a great gift for college students who need to take a study break with friends! Get it here.
  • Cornhole Sets. Cornhole is a great game for the whole family to play together! It’s fun for all ages and brings together groups of people. It’s great at parties or just with the family or neighborhood kids. Set up a tournament! To purchase this great gift for someone on your list, click here.

  • Razor RipStik Ripster, compact lightweight caster board, for kids 8+ Kids love RipStiks! And frankly, lots of adults enjoy them too! The Razor RipStik Ripster’s lightweight and compact size is perfect for riders with a narrower stance. Inclined, 360-degree caster trucks and concave deck provide a one-of-a-kind, twist-and-carve ride. Slip-resistant deck platforms deliver maximum grip.. High-grade urethane wheels with ABEC-5 bearings deliver a smooth ride. Get one for someone on your list here. Or maybe a version for kids and adults you can purchase here. Or maybe the more sophisticated version that has more maneuverability and a weight capacity of 220 lbs here.
  • Stomp Rockets. These have been around for a while. My daughter and all the neighborhood kids loved Stomp Rockets when she was a little girl. It was a great toy that got them outside, moving, and playing together! I’m sure they have been improved since the early 2000s. Any kid on your list will love this! Purchase here.
  • Ankle Skip Ball for Kids, Foldable Skip it with Colorful Flash Wheel. When I was a kid, we had something similar to this that had a lemon toy on the end of a flexible tube. We skip-hopped all over the neighborhood! It seems it has been improved! This toy provides hours of great exercise and fun! Get one for every member of the family! Get it here.

Active gifts are a great way to get the whole family together and get each family member moving around! Kids can get exercise without even knowing they are getting exercise with these great gifts.

*** Sponsored ad. We receive commission for items purchased through our Amazon links.***

by Kelly Mattei

Best Active Family Holiday Gifts

Best active family holiday gifts…

Our little family has had a lot of of fun over the years with active holiday gifts. Here are some great ideas for members of every family:

  • Razor DXT Drift Trike Yellow, One Size This drift trike has a capacity of 198 pounds, so mom and dad can join in on the fun when Jr’s not playing with it. Steel trike style frame combined with Super Slider POM rear wheels. Riders can power slide through corners, throw fish tails or fast 180s! It’s fun for the whole family… no joke, I think everyone in my family would have a blast with these! And at writing, it’s 20% off, just $169. Get one (or two or three) for your little daredevils (or Dad!) here.
  • Razor RipRider 360 Caster Trike for Kids Ages 5+ – Lightweight, Rubber Handlebars, Steel Frame, for Riders up to 160 lbs. A great gift for kids (and some adults!) of all ages. This was, without a doubt, one of our daughter’s favorite toys when she was growing up. It keeps them moving! Purchase here. Razor makes lots of great active gifts to keep kids moving. To see what they offer, click here.
  • Flybar Pogo Sticks. Y’all, these were some of the best Christmas gifts ever. We were all pretty good at it, but our daughter could pogo forever. I have videos of her bouncing all over the driveway and the back patio. These are great exercise, and you can purchase them for different ages and levels…yes, even adults! To see a Flybar pogo stick for kids 40 to 80 pounds, click here. To see the pogo stick for weights 120-220, click here. For 80-160 pounds, click here. But there are pogo toys for all ages! Check out the Pogo Ball for children and adults up to 200 pounds here. Check out the Flybar store here.

  • Spikeball 3 Ball Original Roundnet Game Set – Includes 3 Balls, net and Bag. A great way to get the family outdoors and playing together. This competitive game is tons of fun, and it’s portable! Set up is easy. It’s also a great gift for college students who need to take a study break with friends! Get it here.
  • Cornhole Sets. Cornhole is a great game for the whole family to play together! It’s fun for all ages and brings together groups of people. It’s great at parties or just with the family or neighborhood kids. Set up a tournament! To purchase this great gift for someone on your list, click here.

  • Razor RipStik Ripster, compact lightweight caster board, for kids 8+ Kids love RipStiks! And frankly, lots of adults enjoy them too! The Razor RipStik Ripster’s lightweight and compact size is perfect for riders with a narrower stance. Inclined, 360-degree caster trucks and concave deck provide a one-of-a-kind, twist-and-carve ride. Slip-resistant deck platforms deliver maximum grip.. High-grade urethane wheels with ABEC-5 bearings deliver a smooth ride. Get one for someone on your list here. Or maybe a version for kids and adults you can purchase here. Or maybe the more sophisticated version that has more maneuverability and a weight capacity of 220 lbs here.
  • Stomp Rockets. These have been around for a while. My daughter and all the neighborhood kids loved Stomp Rockets when she was a little girl. It was a great toy that got them outside, moving, and playing together! I’m sure they have been improved since the early 2000s. Any kid on your list will love this! Purchase here.
  • Ankle Skip Ball for Kids, Foldable Skip it with Colorful Flash Wheel. When I was a kid, we had something similar to this that had a lemon toy on the end of a flexible tube. We skip-hopped all over the neighborhood! It seems it has been improved! This toy provides hours of great exercise and fun! Get one for every member of the family! Get it here.

Active gifts are a great way to get the whole family together and get each family member moving around! Kids can get exercise without even knowing they are getting exercise with these great gifts.

***We receive commission for items purchased through our Amazon links.***

by Kelly Mattei

Dyson Airwrap DEAL on Amazon

Dyson Airwrap DEAL on Amazon here.

If you need/want to purchase the ever-popular Dyson Airwrap for someone on your holiday list (or for yourself), now is the time. It seems almost every female in America under the age of 60 wants this incredible hairstyling tool. If you have a daughter in high school or college, you can bet she would be thrilled to get this for Christmas or Hanukkah! I have never seen the Airwrap on sale before, but right now you can get an early Black Friday deal for $100 off the regular price of $599! I’d $499 for a limited time! Get it now before the deal ends here!

This is a huge deal, because you will also get free shipping if you have an Amazon Prime membership! And if you don’t have a Prime membership, it’s time to get one! I have saved $1946 this year with free Prime delivery and movies.

ORDER THAT DYSON AIRWRAP HERE BEFORE THIS DEAL IS GONE, and tell everyone you know to come order through my link for the deal!

***I receive commissions for items ordered through my Amazon link. Thank you for shopping my links AND for SHARING my links with friends! Send your friend to my page, so they can shop through my site.***

by Kelly Mattei

You Are Not Going to College with Your Child

You are not going to college with your child.

Why am I saying that? Well, because it seems lots of parents think they need to be involved with their child’s college experience. I’m here to tell you: you do not need to know anything, Mom. Even if you went to your child’s orientation session (or plan to attend), you don’t need to remember the information. College is your child’s job. It’s not your job. If you keep assisting your child with everything he/she needs to do/know, your child will never learn to do it on his/her own. Stick with me, and at the end of this piece, I will tell you what you can do to make your child’s transition to college more successful.

I think parents became more “helicopterish” with their college students when colleges and universities started offering orientation sessions for parents. No, just no. It makes me sick. I have said before that I went with my daughter two years ago, but I only went because it seemed everyone else was going, and I didn’t want her to feel like an orphan! I skipped out at lunch on the first day and never looked back. I simply couldn’t take it. It made me crazy that parents were asking questions kids should have been asking for themselves. If I had a second child, he/she would be going it alone, and I would feel great about it. You know why? Well, I truly believe those parent sessions are simply babysitting sessions to keep parents busy after they have traveled there. It wasn’t terrible, but I did not need to know the information they were putting out there. Where to park? I don’t care. Where to eat? I don’t care. I have already graduated from college…way back in the 1980s…and I figured it all out myself.

In 1985, my parents didn’t go to orientation with me! No way! I drove myself two hours to the university, found the dorm without a navigation system in my car, learned what I needed to know, made my schedule, and drove myself home…alone. In fact, I don’t recall seeing one parent at orientation at The University of Alabama in 1985!

And while I’m at it, allow me to also remind you that you don’t need to make your child’s academic schedule. Again, he/she needs to learn how to do it on his/her own. I see parents on the parent pages regularly talking about helping their kids make their schedules. What??? I don’t even know what classes my daughter is taking! And my parents never knew what classes I was taking!

Take a deep breath, Mom. Your child can navigate college without you. If you don’t believe that, maybe your child shouldn’t be going too far from home. Mine goes to a school 450 miles away, and it’s the greatest thing I ever did for her…letting her do college on her own. She takes care of herself and handles everything on her own, and we don’t waste our time talking about school. We talk about life and fun things, instead!

So, how can you help your child with the transition to college? I’m not a counselor or psychologist, but I am a mom, so I know a little bit. Here’s what you can do:

  • Help them prepare to outfit their dorm room. Gather what they need, and purchase what you don’t have. (Amazon Prime Days are coming up in mid-July, and there will be lots of dorm stuff on sale…a great time to get good prices! Come back to my site to get information on some special deals!)
  • Answer the phone when they call you…anytime, day or night. That first semester can be difficult, so they might need a sounding board. Be there for them. Be supportive. Be positive and encouraging.
  • Make sure they know what to do in emergency situations.
  • Provide whatever they need.
  • Most of all:

Let your little birdie fly! It might not be easy, but it’s important! They can do this! And you can too!

by Kelly Mattei

Now That Our Kids Are Grown(ish)…

Now that our kids are grown(ish)…

Do you look back and think how silly and unimportant some things were? I do. I do it all the time. There were so many things we thought were life-altering, but they just weren’t. When a friend with a 3rd-grade child said to me recently, “I was horrified that my child didn’t turn in her homework,” I responded, “Really? It doesn’t matter.” When another friend said, “My child doesn’t want to play any organized sports,” I responded the same way.

Don’t get me wrong. I think all kids should play a team sport at least once. It teaches them a lot, but that’s all the preaching I will do on that.

As for the forgotten homework in 3rd grade? A few years down the line, I know it didn’t matter, and hopefully, other moms will see it really didn’t matter for their kids either. I wish I had been able to look at my daughter when she was that age and had forgotten to bring a book home and say, “Honey. It’s OK. I promise it’s not a big deal.” Even if I did say it, the hard part was getting her to realize it too. As long as it’s not a habit, I truly believe it’s not a big deal. Educators might disagree, but whatever.

I was not one who ever knew much about our daughter’s homework. When she was in 3rd grade, another parent asked me, “Is your daughter ready for the Bunnicula test?” I must have looked at her like she had fourteen eyes. “The what?” “The Bunnicula test!” I promise I asked, in less nice terms, “What the heck is a bunnicula??” The other mom informed me it was the book they had been reading for school. I laughed and said, “Oh, honey, I have no idea what she’s reading.” The only thing that might have made that scene better is if I’d been wearing a colorful caftan while smoking a cigarette with one hand and holding a martini in the other…you know, like moms in the 1970s. I might have, inadvertently, hurt that mom’s feelings, but it was the truth. I didn’t keep up with my child’s homework. That was her job. I did, however, go back to the school one time (OK, more than once) to get something she had forgotten. The teachers preached against that, but they didn’t have to see my child stress over it. Plus, if I forgot something somewhere, I could drive myself to get it. She couldn’t, so I took her. Yep, I was that mom. I didn’t want to deal with the stress of listening to my child stress out over it, so I took her back to get the book. And you know what? I would do it again, if only so I could have a peaceful evening at home. But in the overall scheme of things? That book didn’t matter one bit. And that assignment really didn’t either. As long as she wasn’t falling behind in school and wasn’t making a habit of forgetting things, it really didn’t matter.

I know. All parents do things differently. Some are trying to make sure their kids are headed for Ivy League colleges, as I learned quickly when my child entered middle school in sixth grade. At the parents’ meeting at the beginning of the year, lots of parents asked about which math track their kids needed to be on. Others asked about the best “science track” and which classes counted as academic classes and which ones didn’t. I wasn’t one of those. I always just believed she would fall into the right “math track” or “science track” for her, so I wasn’t one of the moms asking those questions. At that meeting, I was one of the moms in the back row trying really hard to stifle an uncontrollable giggle about something a science teacher said…a double entendre she didn’t realize was a double entendre, and the fact that she didn’t realize it made it even funnier to me. I think it was something on a graph, and she called it a “g-spot.” I literally had to walk outside and compose myself. But I knew I had found a kindred spirit among the parents when the middle school admin team was talking about school sports and a mom raised her hand with a question. “Do y’all have a laundry service for the uniforms after games?” I had to peek around heads to see who had asked, because I wanted that mom to be my friend! I didn’t care about the math track and science track! That would work itself out. I wanted to know about the laundry service! Alas, there was no laundry service. In hindsight, I should have invited that mom over to drink wine and do laundry with me. It’s OK, though, because our kids are at the same university, so we can get together on campus for drinks and not even have to worry about laundry!

It’s not all about school, though. Parents worry about sleeping babies and overstimulation. As for worrying about sleeping, I did my fair share of that…not so much worrying about our daughter as I was worried about me. I had a livewire on my hands! She was busy from the time she emerged from the womb and didn’t want to miss a thing! It nearly killed me. I had that baby girl/toddler/small child who would not take a nap. Yeah, she slept at night but not excessively long. I heard people talk about how they trained their babies to sleep 16 or 17 hours a day. I should have just handed them mine so they could see what life with her looked like! And when she started moving around, there was no sitting still…ever. In fact, she still doesn’t sit still for long, and she’s almost 21! I think some kids are just born sleepers and some aren’t. Don’t try to argue with me. You won’t win that argument. Later, I was glad she didn’t sleep during the day or need lots of nap time, because we could just keep moving all day…and we did! Looking back on that now, none of it really mattered in the long run. It was all just a blip on the radar of life.

Growing/raising a child has taught me a lot, and one thing it taught me is that lots of issues are simple blips on the radar of life. It’s sometimes difficult to remember that as something is happening, but it’s true. Yes, there are big problems in life, but a third grader not turning in an assignment is not one of them. Not completing the summer reading isn’t a big deal, either. I look back on how those stupid summer reading assignments ruined parts of summer, and it still makes me a little angry. I felt like the stupid summer reading was an intrusion on my time with my child, and in hindsight, I truly wish I hadn’t made her do it. I wish I had told her not to worry about it, because in the overall scheme of life, it wasn’t going to matter. I wish I had told her to enjoy the long, fun days of summer.

However, I let the summer reading assignments get to me (and her), so I’m telling y’all now:

Enjoy the long, fun days of summer together with your children.

by Kelly Mattei

You Have A High School Graduate

You have a high school graduate.

I just saw a video of Jennifer Garner on Instagram. She was crying, because her daughter just graduated from high school. In one clip, she asks, “How are we gonna make it?!” Of course, lots of people responded, but my favorite comment was, “Why aren’t people making us casseroles?” I laughed until I cried thinking of a mom being so distraught over her child leaving that she needed comfort food, and while I loved that comment, because I also love any opportunity to make or receive a casserole, I know a secret.

My secret? Having your child graduate and move off to college (or the military or trade school or ATC school or the police academy or whatever) is not the end of the world. In fact, it’s the opposite! If you have more than one child, you’re likely to feel like your life continues on about the same trajectory until all your babies have left the nest. I have one child, so when my daughter went off to college, my husband and I became empty-nesters…empty-nesters who are still paying all our daughter’s bills, but empty-nesters, nonetheless. And you know what? After we dropped her off at her university 450 miles away, the world didn’t come to an end! Our old life ended, but a new life began, and it’s a lot of fun!

I saw a video clip from the TV show, Modern Family, recently that really hit home. In the video, Jay, the family patriarch, talks about how we fall in love with a baby, and then the baby becomes a toddler, and on and on through different stages of life, but we never have time to miss the baby, because it’s replaced with another version of itself…a “toddler with the greatest laugh on earth.” And it’s true! I have loved every stage of our daughter’s life! Has it always been easy? That first year was especially tough. I remember thinking on her first birthday, “I survived the first year.” Don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed the first year too, but there was some survival involved. I think the fact that it’s not easy is what makes us appreciate it. Struggling with a newborn just bonds us!

My next door neighbor, who is a grandmother several times over, told me recently that she feels like those early years with kids at home are a real gift, but they are a sacrifice too. Once our kids are grown and out of the house, we miss them, but we are grateful for the gift they continue to be (even with crises), and we appreciate not making the daily sacrifices. Since our daughter went off to college, my husband I don’t have to get up early every morning to make sure our daughter gets out to school. Like many people these days, we can do our work from home…or anywhere, for that matter. If we want to leave town during the school year, we can! If we want to eat dinner standing over the kitchen sink, we can! For me, I love that our lives are no longer built around a school schedule. Of course, there are other sacrifices. College is not cheap. Trips abroad for our daughter are not cheap. Also, we have to worry from afar instead of worrying about her in our own home. If she’s in Italy, we worry about her in Italy. If she’s in Tuscaloosa, we worry about her in Tuscaloosa. However, the minute-to-minute sacrifices aren’t there like they are when our children are younger. I don’t spend my weekends at soccer or lacrosse tournaments anymore, praise the Lord! I don’t volunteer at her school anymore, thank God. At the same time, though, we don’t get to watch her play lacrosse, and we don’t have her here every day anymore.

Is it difficult when they first leave? Yes. I’m not gonna kid you about that. The house is quieter. The friends are not in and out all the time anymore, and at first, I was sad about that. Then, by the Christmas of her freshman year, I guess I had grown accustomed to having my own space, because when all the friends were here, I was surprised at how loud and intrusive it could feel! Don’t get me wrong…after a couple of days, it became the norm again, and by the time she went back to school that January, I had to get used to the peace and quiet again.

All this is my long way of saying this: embrace the change! It’s a great stage of life! Do I miss my girl when she’s not here? Yes, but I also appreciate the time she is here, and I appreciate the extra time to do what I want to do. If you have a child who has graduated and is leaving soon for college, the military, or something else, take the time right now, before they go, to make a plan for yourself. Know in advance how you are going to fill up that quiet time! It’s easier to adjust if you have a plan. Play mahjong! Play pickleball! Learn to play bridge! Volunteer somewhere! After our daughter left, I started getting more exercise, and I spend a lot of time planning vacations. I don’t go on vacation constantly, but it’s fun to research destinations. I also spend time with friends once or twice a week.

You can do this, Mama! I think you will find empty-nesting is not scary. It’s fun. Fill up the weekends doing what you want to do! Embrace the change!

by Kelly Mattei

I’m Glad I Went to College in the 1980s

I’m glad I went to college in the 1980s.

Most people my age probably agree with me on this. I have always thought college was great in the 1980s for lots of reasons, and here are a few:

  • No smartphones. Sure, there are advantages to smartphones. You can call for roadside assistance if you need it. However, you can also take videos and photos with smartphones…not always the best thing for college students. I have to always remind my daughter there are cameras everywhere. I’m just thankful that was not the case in the 1980s when I was a student. We all tell stories about what we did, but we don’t need photographic evidence.
  • Our parents were clueless. I know what my daughters major is, but I don’t know what classes she is taking or what classes she needs to take to complete her degree…that makes me more like an 80s parent. Based on the Facebook parents’ pages for her university, parents are making their kids schedules these days, telling them what to take, and monitoring their progress toward graduation! They’re even checking their grades online! Nope. I don’t have access to my daughter’s grades, and I don’t even know what classes she is taking. OK, so I know she is taking a math and an English class this semester (because she mentioned them in passing), but I don’t know her other classes or anything else. I just expect her to handle it. I do, however, see her grades at the end of each semester, because she shows them to me.
  • Information was in an easy-to-read catalogue. We got hardcopy catalogues about majors and graduation requirements. It made it easy to look up what classes we had to take to graduate. It’s just as easy to look online, but apparently, students don’t do that! Well, I think lots of them do, but apparently, some don’t, and as the graduation date nears, they realize they have more classes to take! How does that happen? If they had a hardcopy catalogue on their nightstands, would this happen?
  • A night out was cheap. Seriously, I think I could buy a bottle of beer at my favorite watering hole for $1.50 or $1.75…then leave a dollar tip. I could take $15 and enjoy a night!
  • Transfer portals didn’t exist. Sure, athletes could transfer, but they often had to sit out a year after doing so. Athletes made their decisions and usually stuck to them. There was loyalty. Now the thinking is more like a 1986 Janet Jackson song, “What have you done for me lately?” There are athletes who transfer two and three times during their college careers! It’s insanity! Not only are they not loyal to their teams, they are ruining their own college experience! That’s just my opinion. People can do what they want, but I wouldn’t want mine doing that. Honestly, I think this generation expects immediate gratification in everything. Maybe we learned something from having to send off film from our 110 cameras and wait a week to see the photos! Now they see the photos as soon as they take them…even faster than a Polaroid! And speaking of Janet Jackson…
  • We had the real MTV! Yes, it’s a thing. We had the real MTV that actually showed music videos and featured music-related content. Plus, there was Remote Control, the MTV gameshow! Good times! How many of us can remember rushing home to see the world premier of the videos for Thriller and The Reflex? For me, that was high school, but even in college, we watched a lot of MTV…I can still dance along with Bobby Brown! (If you’d like to purchase an MTV sweatshirt to help you remember the good old days, click here.)
  • We could make prank phone calls. It’s a fact. We loved making prank calls in college. My junior and senior years , we made one prank call Monday nights…sending a college boy on a wild goose chase, and it worked every time. It was so funny that I often laughed until…well, you get the idea. With “caller ID” automatic now, students can’t make those prank calls now. Well, I guess they can, but it’s not the same.

I’m sure there are lots more reasons I love college in the 80s! My own daughter has said many times that she wishes she had been in high school/college in the 80s, and I tell her, “It was a good time to be alive!”

If you have other reasons it was great to be in college in the 1980s, please share!

by Kelly Mattei

Halfway Through Sophomore Year

Halfway through sophomore year…

Our daughter just returned to college after being home for a few weeks for the holiday break. We loved having her, and I think she enjoyed being here, for the most part, but she was more than ready to get back to school. I could tell she was getting fidgety about being here too long.

And you know what? As much as I miss her, I am thrilled she wanted to get back to school.

We were fortunate to have a fun night last night. Somehow, the three of us ending up sitting in the keeping room off the kitchen with all three of our dogs, laughing and talking about anything that came to mind. I don’t know how long we laughed and talked, but it was a great way to end the break…on a very positive note. That’s not to say we didn’t get on each other’s nerves here and there while she was home. Of course, we got on each other’s nerves a few times. My mother used to say, “No house is big enough for two women.” My mother was a wise woman, but since our daughter is still our baby, our house is still big enough for all of us. While we annoyed each other a few times, the holiday break was full of positives for our little family. Ending it with an impromptu family. night was perfect.

Today, she drove the 450 miles back to school, and a friend rode with her. I will admit that I checked on them several times, and they even called me to ask some questions about the route. Each time my phone rang, I answered with, “Is everything OK?!?” I got questions like, “What’s a safe place to stop for a bathroom break?” I told them to pay attention to the signs and don’t take the exit if the signage isn’t good. Some generally safe places to stop are Chick-fil-a and even Starbucks, but if they don’t feel safe, don’t stop. Another question? “Should I go straight through Atlanta or get on the bypass?” I told her to just go straight through, and it worked out perfectly. She was on the other side of town in no time. Fortunately, her car gets pretty good gas mileage, so they were able to drive the whole 450 miles without filling up. That’s a big relief, because I don’t need to worry about her standing outside the car, filling it up with gas…and being a sitting duck.

We probably won’t see her for about two months, when we visit for Parents’ Weekend, and that’s OK. If she needs us, we can get there pretty quickly, but we just want her to be happy. She is already making plans to attend some basketball games and gymnastics meets this week, so good times are ahead for her! They’re ahead for me too, as I have a trip with a friend coming up this weekend!

If you have a freshman who is returning to college right now, one thing I can tell you is that, for me, it did get easier to send her back this year. She is established at her school and has friends. She is happy with her living arrangement. She is doing well in school, and she is making lots of fun plans. Did I get a little emotional yesterday? Yes. I was in a mood, but then I realized I was simply dreading her departure, and once I gave into it, I felt better. A few tears later, I felt better.

Before I know it, her sophomore year will be over, and she will be halfway through her bachelor’s degree requirements! Time flies, and I’m just happy she’s having fun!

by Kelly Mattei

Parents of Future College Students

Parents of future college students.

Let me start by telling you I am not a professional anything. I’m not a psychologist or an educational counselor or anything like that. However, I am a mom of a college freshman. If you have a high school senior who is planning to attend college next year, I have some tips for you. Take them or leave them. Everybody does their own thing, but these are based on experience and observations.

-Join the Facebook parents’ page of your son or daughter’s future college or university as soon as you know where he/she is going.

-If you choose to post on said page, be careful what you post. Always remember your name can be linked back to your child, and you don’t want them to start college having to live down “where can little Johnny meet a girlfriend?”

-In fact, also on said page, resist the urge to post snarky replies to stupid questions. The stupid questions will be plentiful, but just resist the urge. Call your friends and laugh about it instead.

-Let your future college student handle the logistics of registering for everything. You don’t need to do it for him/her. Let them register for orientation, if necessary. It’s OK to remind them. It’s even OK to scan the parent page for info or recommendations, but let your student do it! Same with picking classes…make recommendations, but don’t make their schedule for them. Let them learn how to do it! When I went to college, my parents wrote the checks. That’s it. I tried to do my daughter the same favor…the favor of letting her figure it out. And yes, I keep sending the money.

-Little Jane doesn’t need your help finding a roommate. She can do it.

-Since I mentioned roommates, I have to say this: if your child is going away to college and has the option of living off campus freshman year, resist that urge. Freshmen need to live on campus. It’s how they make friends…almost immediately. I don’t care if Little Janie has never had to share a room or bathroom before. My daughter is an only child and has always had her own room and bathroom, but she lives in a traditional dorm and shares a bathroom with her roommate. She absolutely loves dorm life, because she has made lots of friends. I saw a post on the parent page just yesterday that said, “My freshman daughter who lives off campus has had trouble making friends.” They need to feel like a part of the college community. They also need to learn to share space with other people. Off-campus living is a big mistake freshman year.

-Plan ahead to decorate dorm rooms for girls, but don’t overdo it. It’s claustrophobic when you put too much stuff in a dorm room. And remember: whatever you take in there, you will eventually have to bring out.

-Once they get there, they might have bouts of homesickness or sadness. It’s normal. Don’t go pick them up and bring them home. Be positive. I remember my daughter calling me soon after class started. She was sad. I was on vacation, but I sat down and said very positive things to her…in a calm, soothing tone. Three hours and a new friend later, she called to tell me how happy she was!

-Know you will say the wrong things to them sometimes. If it’s your first child going to college, you are on a learning curve too.

This is all I have for right now. I’m empty-nesting on a beach today, but I’m sure I will think of more in the months leading up to move-in day. I get lots of fodder from the parents’ page on Facebook!

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