Category / life

by Kelly Mattei

Do It Now

Do it now.

My dad died at age 68 in 2006 after a battle with pancreatic cancer. As he lay dying, he reminded me to live my life. He reminded me to do the things I want to do…enjoy life!

Eleven years later, when I turned 50, I was talking with my mother and said, “I might only have 20 years that I can get around really well. I need to make sure I’m traveling to the places I want to go.” She looked at me with a sweet smile and reminded me, “When your daddy was your age, he didn’t have 20 years left. You need to make sure you are doing the things you want to do now and visiting the places you want to visit now.”

Mother died about six months after that conversation, but I remember her words every time I think of somewhere I want to go or something I want to see…and they mean even more now.

Six weeks ago, I was stricken with sciatica. I was just standing in my kitchen, and my back and leg started hurting. I wasn’t doing anything unusual. OK, so I was cooking, and maybe that’s unusual, but nothing strenuous. I thought, at the time, that it was just a weird backache. I went to the grocery store the next day, and while I was there, it started hurting so badly I could barely get through the store! A few days later, I went to Miami with my family, and for two solid days, I could barely walk…I shuffled like a 100-yr-old woman! The pain was real! In fact, the pain is still real six weeks later. It’s better, but it’s real. I have purchased almost everything I can think of to improve it, and some of it helps. I will list some items at the bottom of the page.

As silly as it sounds, when I first realized I had sciatica, visions of upcoming trips flashed before my eyes. Yes! That’s the truth! At the time, I had several vacations ahead of me. Since then, I have taken three of them, and honestly, I feel pretty sure those didn’t help my sciatica. I enjoyed the trips, even though I had to take some breaks from walking, but I didn’t give my back much time to rest. Hauling heavy luggage, even if it’s on wheels, is not the best thing for a back injury. We have another trip in a week, and this is the first time I’ve had two full weeks between trips. I’m resting my back a lot more but still walking a few miles a day (in small increments), and I’m hoping the sciatica will go away before a big trip in October. Did I say “hoping”? I mean praying. It’s slowly getting better, but I do feel like it’s improving.

Having sciatica has taught me a lot. It has taught me more compassion for people living with chronic pain. If you’ve never had chronic pain, it’s difficult to understand exactly how much it affects daily life. While dealing with sciatica, I have sat through entire conversations pretending to listen, simply because I couldn’t think of much more than the pain. Having sciatica has also reinforced what my parents told me: do it now! I remember Daddy telling me that we only get one life…no dress rehearsals…we need to make it good!

So here I am, on day 45 of sciatica. It’s better but not completely well. I have been to the doctor, and she told me it will definitely get better…with exercise, rest, and time.

I’ll keep you posted! Even while I have sciatica, though, I’m coming up with new places to visit and new things to see! Do it now!

***Items I have purchased to help my sciatica (ask your doctor before trying anything):

  • BeActive Plus leg brace. This was my first sciatica-improvement purchase. It’s a leg band that applies pressure to a trigger point along the sciatic nerve. Does it work? I don’t know, but I feel better when I use it! Purchase here.
  • TENS machine. Yes, I purchased my own TENS machine. In fact, I purchased two of them! The machines are supposed to control pain with electrical current. I can definitely say these have given me short-term relief, without a doubt. I purchased one for home use…get it here. And I got a wearable one for when I’m not home. See it here.
  • Gel Ice Pack. Ice, ice baby. It’s no joke. I have iced my back and butt every time I’ve gotten in the car and almost every time I’ve sat down at home. It helps decrease inflammation for sure. These gel ice packs are great to have around the house. Get them here.
  • Heating pad. Sometimes, I just need the muscles to relax. I have found one of the best things to give me relief is lying flat on my back on the bed with a pillow under my knees, which flattens the back. I put a heating pad under my lower back/butt, and it helps…especially before I fall asleep at night. Get one here.
  • Dr. Scholl’s Orthotics for Back Pain. I put these in my sneakers, and I plan to keep them in all my sneakers from now on. Basically, I have been wearing sneakers for most of the time I’ve had sciatica, with a few exceptions. Get the Dr. Scholl’s Orthotics for back pain here.
  • Aspercreme Lidocaine Patches. These definitely help some. I put one on my lower back and one on my lower leg, where the pain was excruciating. Get them here.
  • Salonpas patches. These are smaller than the Aspercreme patches, and they contain menthol and camphor instead of lidocaine, so they warm the area. They also have that wintergreen aroma, which is not my favorite, but whatever…they help, so I use them. They’re also less expensive than the Aspercreme patches, so I didn’t mind using them more often. Get them here.
  • Plantar Fasciitis socks. I felt like anything that adds extra support is helpful, so I purchased these, and I wear them. They’re not pretty, but I do feel like they help. Get them here.

If you’re suffering, I hope you feel better soon. My sciatica isn’t completely gone, but it’s much better, and I’m almost fully functional again.

by Kelly Mattei

Summer Travel Necessities

Summer travel necessities.

Our little family got home last night from a sunny vacation. Based on experience, I knew exactly what I needed to make my life easier while traveling, so I’m going to share some ideas. Lots of these items also make great graduation gifts, in case you’re still searching for the perfect gift. Also, some of them make good Father’s Day gifts…that’s coming up…don’t forget!

No matter what, there are some things I like to have when I’m away from home. Here are some suggestions for making your life easier:

  • LeakLocks Toiletry Skins. I found these at Amazon a year or two ago, and now, they are absolute essentials when I travel. They are rubber “skins” that you pull over the top of bottles to keep them from leaking in your luggage. I used them on my shampoo, my self-tanner, and my sunscreens, and I still put them in Ziploc bags for extra protection. There’s nothing worse than arriving at my destination to find my self-tanner has leaked all over the plastic bag it’s in. Secretly, I will tell you I’ve even used this over the top of a plastic flask I was sneaking into a college football game. I didn’t need vodka leaking all over my clothes. LeakLocks are an inexpensive way to save all your stuff, and they stretch to fit different types of bottles. To purchase LeakLocks, click here. And if you’d like to look into a plastic flask before football season starts, you can get one at Amazon. Plastic flasks are great, because metal detectors don’t pick them up. To purchase a Rabbit plastic flask for under $8, click here. *The Rabbit flask says it is leak-proof, but I recommend using the LeakLock with it.*
  • Packing Cubes. Don’t groan. I always thought packing cubes were a waste of time and money until recently, when I tried them at the suggestion of a friend. What did they do for me? They made packing and unpacking a lot easier when I arrived at my destination and again when I returned home. For under $25, you get a set of eight packing accessories, and they come in lots of different colors! Get them at Amazon here. Or check out some others from Olarhike for about $20 here.
  • Travel Adapter. If you’re traveling internationally, it’s possible (likely) you’ll need a travel adapter. Otherwise, you’ll burn up any electrical appliances like hairdryers, curling irons, and straighteners when you plug them into the hotel outlet. Back when I was a flight attendant, I burned up a hairdryer this way, and one of my coworkers burned off her bangs when she used her curling iron in a hotel in another country. Seriously, she burned off her bangs. Even she thought it was funny! Purchase for about $18 here.
  • Laundry bags. It’s a lot easier for me to start laundry when we get home if I have all the dirty laundry in one (or two) bags. I can put one bag in my luggage, and my husband can put one in his, if we have that many dirty items. When we get home, I just grab those two bags out of the suitcases and take them straight to the laundry room…no sorting through the clothes to figure it out. Anything that wasn’t worn can be steamed and put away quickly. To see the laundry bags I use, click here. Or you can get a different type from Miamica on Amazon here.
  • Portable Bluetooth Speaker. If you’re going to be on a beach or in a boat, it’s nice to have a quality portable bluetooth speaker. We love the JBL Clip 3 when we travel. It puts out quality sound and is easy to operate. It’s small and lightweight, so it doesn’t take up a lot of space in your carry-on or checked baggage. It also comes in a variety of colors. To purchase for under $60 from Amazon, click here. ***This also makes a great graduation gift!!!***
  • Lifestraw products. If you’re traveling somewhere that might not have a clean water supply, you need some Lifestraw products. If you’ve ever had Montezuma’s Revenge in Mexico, you know you need something to purify the water. Lifestraw makes lots of travel products…personal straws and collapsible cups/pitchers. This is a product I highly recommend! Also, they’re great for camping trips and hiking trips, and they make great gifts for someone who might be traveling to a developing country. I gave one to a friend’s daughter as part of her graduation gift when I knew she would be traveling on a mission trip to Cuba. I am traveling to Panama in October, and I will be taking some Lifestraw products with me. See the Lifestraw straws here. And see their whole line of products here. These are products I highly recommend!

  • Travel Door Alarm. If you have ever been awakened in a hotel room by someone coming into your room, you know how important a travel door alarm can be. I had someone walk into my room one time, because a hotel accidentally checked him into my room after I had already been checked in. When I screamed, he left immediately. I called the front desk, and they apologized profusely for the error. There are different types of travel door alarms. One is in a door stopper, and the other is not. If you’re concerned someone wouldn’t be able to get to you in an emergency, don’t get the door stopper one. You can see the door stopper one here. It keeps people from entering the room and emits a siren. For a travel alarm that doesn’t block the door but emits a loud sound, there’s the Lewis and Clark Travel Alarm. You can purchase here.
  • Travel Fan. I love my O2 Cool Travel Fan. It’s small and lightweight, and it doesn’t take up much room in my suitcase. It also puts off way more air than you think it will. I usually plug it in (it’s can be battery-operated or plugged in, which I prefer) on the nightstand right next to my head in any hotel. I turn it on, and I don’t get hot during the night. It’s an inexpensive way to improve your sleep in hotels. Get it at Amazon here. This is another product I highly recommend!
  • Road Trip Games. Interstate driving travel can be boring. If you have a road trip planned, you might benefit from having some road trip games in the car. It can improve the ride and helps keep kids from staring at phones the whole time. I love road trip games. See a selection of them at Amazon here.

There you have some suggestions. Feel free to message me with more ideas for travel necessities, and I will share those too!

by Kelly Mattei

Get Ready for Summer

Get ready for summer. In my mind, May 1st is a reminder that summer is just around the corner. I need to prepare myself for what I consider the most fun season of the year! But if you think I’m going to recommend swimwear, think again. Swimwear, to me, is a personal decision. And if you think I’m going to tell you how to get in shape, you’ve come to the wrong place. Aside from that, here are some things I need in preparation for the Summer 2023 season.

For the backyard/patio/pool:

  • Funboy floats (and other products). Y’all, I love Funboy. I started buying Funboy products a couple of years ago when an ad popped up on Instagram, and I love them! They have a huge line of pool floats, beach floats and toys, towels…you name it. You can see their products on Amazon by clicking here. Or click around. To see their beach towels, click here. To see their bestsellers, click here. Pool floats, click here. See their Barbie line here.. And their kids line here. Highly recommend!
  • Unbreakable plates. I love dining outside on the patio/poolside during the summer, but I don’t like chasing paper plates that blow in the wind. That’s why I purchased some unbreakable plates in pretty pastel colors that are dishwasher safe. See them here.
  • Unbreakable Tumblers. From Scandinovia, I love clear, unbreakable tumblers for poolside. See my faves here.
  • Unbreakable stemware. Planning to serve wine poolside? These unbreakable, stemless glasses are perfect! See them here
  • Fly Fans for Tables. If you’re going to be dining outside, you need to keep the flies and other insects away from food. The easiest thing I have found? Fly fans. They’re awesome. I first saw them used at an outdoor restaurant in the Bahamas, and they work like a charm! They’re battery-operated, and they keep the flying insects away from your food! Get yours here.

For you:

  • Miracle Heel Stick and Miracle Foot Repair. We can let our feet become less than pretty during winter, but sandal weather calls for smooth heels and feet. I tried these products after a friend told me about them…good stuff. I even use them on my elbows. Purchase here.
  • Summer nail polishes. Summer calls for summer colors, and Essie has some great ones. If you like to do your own nails, or if you prefer to take your own polish for your mani/pedi, check out the selection here.
  • Volatile Wedge Flip Flop. Like a little lift with your flip flops? These are foam platform with a wedge heel, and they’re super comfortable. I have them in the beige color, because I feel like they make my legs look longer. Perfect for pool days, but I wear them all the time, They come in three color options on Amazon. Get them here. Volatile offers other styles, as well, but I prefer these, because they are the most comfortable to me. You can see their other styles here.
  • Show Me Your Mumu Coverup. I love the Show Me Your Mumu brand, and their Paula pullover has always been a fave. I’m not sure they market it as a cover up, but I love it as a coverup. See it here.
  • Other Coverups. Some of my favorite coverups are simply gauzy, buttondown, long shirts. I have some favorites I got from Amazon here.
  • Head scarf. Riding around with the top down on your convertible or Jeep in the summer? I need something to keep my hair out of my face. A pretty head scarf makes me feel like Jackie O. See some options here.
  • Full headband. Don’t want the scarf? Consider a wide headband to keep your hair off your face. Click here.
  • Beach fragrance. If you like to walk around smelling like the beach even when you’re not at the beach, you can get the fragrance from Bobbi Brown Beach perfume by clicking here, or from Vacation perfume by clicking here.

I’m ready for summer to be here! Bring it on!

by Kelly Mattei

Weekly Link Recap, Ending 4/8/23

Weekly link recap, ending 4/8/23. Click on the item name to go straight to the corresponding site page of items I posted this week. To read the piece about the items, click on the TITLE of the piece. Thank you!

*Each week, I will post a recap of any links I have shared in any posts during the week prior. Happy Shopping!*

WHAT TO PURCHASE NOW FOR A DORM ROOM

HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION GIFTS 2023

WHOA DOUGH EDIBLE COOKIE DOUGH

BASIC TRAVEL OUTFITS FOR WOMEN

by Kelly Mattei

Basic Travel Outfits for Women

Basic travel outfits for women.

I have always loved travel. I love hopping on a plane with my husband, my family, or with friends and heading off to somewhere fun. But first I have to get there. Right out of college, I was a flight attendant for a hot minute. When you work for an airline and travel on an employee pass, there is a dress code. Traveling on an employee pass, I was required to dress professionally, and that set a tone for me. Therefore, I like travel clothes that look good but give me some comfort. You won’t see me on an airplane in athletic shorts…or shorts of any kind. You might see me in joggers, because they’re comfortable, and I can dress them up. As summer gets closer, more people travel, so I have some recommendations. Here are some travel outfits I love:

Wide Leg Jumpsuit. As I scrolled through Instagram a few weeks ago, I came across a wide-leg, short-sleeve jumpsuit perfect for travel. It has a v-neck, and it also has some spandex, meaning stretch, so it’s more comfortable on long flights. It comes in a variety of colors, but I prefer the darker colors. I have ordered this in several colors, but the black is my fave. It’s great, because the v-neck is flattering, and the wide legs make it easy-fitting. At just $35.99 (yes, you read that right), it’s a great buy. Pair it with a cute jacket for some dimension. I love to add a scarf for a pop of color; it can also act as a lightweight blanket on a chilly flight. To purchase this fabulous piece (picture below) from Amazon, click here.

Amazon Essentials Joggers. Somehow, I got lucky and stumbled upon the inexpensive Amazon Essentials Joggers a year or two ago, and since then, I have accumulated a collection. While they offer a variety of colors, my entire collection consists of black joggers. They’re lightweight. They’re cute. They’re flattering, and most importantly, they are wash-and-wear…so easy! I know what you’re thinking: sweatpants. Sure, joggers can be considered sweatpants, but these can be dressed up, without a doubt. In winter, I wear them with cute ankle boots and sweaters, while in warmer months, I wear them with wedges. Priced under $20, these joggers are so inexpensive, you have to get them. Purchase here.

V-neck tshirt. I am pretty particular about my “t-shirt” type shirts. I like long sleeves, but they also offer this shirt in short sleeve version. I like a flattering v-neck. And I like for it to fit my arms but not hug my body tightly. I found one on Amazon that has worked for me time and time again. It works great with the joggers above or with the Miramar joggers below. Purchase it here

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Large scarf. I love a colorful scarf for “dressing up” an outfit. Years ago, I learned the “third piece,” whether it is a jacket or scarf, completes an ensemble…making the wearer appear more “put together.” It’s something I believe in, for sure. So when I’m wearing an all-black outfit, as a jumpsuit or joggers and shirt, I like to add a colorful scarf to break up the black a little and make me look complete. A large scarf can also help ensure I stay warm on a chilly flight. I found a couple of faves on Amazon that are pretty darn inexpensive. The first is a silk scarf that’s priced at under $20, and it measures 70″ x 35″…making it a good size. It comes in lots of colors and patterns, and you can purchase it here. For one that has a “cashmere feel,” and measures 78″ x 27″, click here.

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Rag and Bone Miramar joggers. OK, y’all, I’m giving away a big secret here. No joke, I have only shared this info with my closest friends, but here it is: I wear sweatpant jeans. Yep. Rag and Bone makes Miramar joggers that are printed to look like cute jeans, but they are really French terry sweatpants, and they look great! I’m not going to lie…at $225, they are pricey, but I love them. In fact, I love them so much that, over time, I have purchased two pairs in each color. They are 100% cotton, so you need to remember not to put them in the dryer when you wash them, but other than that, they are pretty easy. As joggers, they have elastic around the ankles, so they are great for lots of heights. I’m only 5’2″, and I love these, because I wear them pushed all the way down to the ankle, or I can wear the elastic underneath a little higher on my leg to make them look more cropped. These are truly some of my favorite travel pants. I can pair them with a cute top or blouse and jacket, and I look finished. No one knows they are sweats, unless they are familiar with the brand. To see the Miramar joggers on Amazon, click here. Another company, BLANKNYC offers something similar at a much lower price. I haven’t tried them (yet), but if you’d like something similar without the sticker shock, try them. The BLANKNYC version is priced under $52 in the lighter color (click here) or the darker color ($81) here.

Utility Shirt Jacket. I love a good utility shirt jacket, because it can add to so many different outfits. For travel, I have a few I use, but a favorite is definitely a Lucky Brand version. It’s olive green, so basically a neutral. I will wear it with all of the items above, and it’s offered in more than one color. It’s lightweight and well-made, and because it’s a neutral, it can be used in various ways with different styles of outfits, even dresses. Get yours here.

Blazer. If you prefer a more tailored look, a blazer might be the way to go. I have a few of these lightweight blazers from Amazon. Priced under $50, they won’t break the bank, and they’re comfortable and travel well. Offered in 15 colors, they make a great addition to any travel wardrobe. Get a few colors, and switch things up! Purchase here.

And this is when I tell you that, in order to keep these pieces from looking too casual, I never wear sneakers on planes. Personally, I prefer comfortable wedge sandals in spring and summer and comfortable boots or loafers in fall and winter. It’s just my way of dressing it all up and pulling it together. But by all means, you do you. And always remember that, if you are checking luggage on commercial airlines, you need to pack at least one change of clothes in your carry-on bag. I always pack a swimsuit in my carry-on too, if I’m going to a warm location.

Happy travels!

by Kelly Mattei

All You Need is Love

All you need is love.

My friend, Linda, shared a video recently (on Facebook) that featured Sir Ian McKellen telling a story about getting into a taxi in Manchester, England, and the driver asks, “Where you going to, love?” Sir Ian said he immediately feels at home, where grown men call strangers “love.” He goes on to say the world would be a better place if we all called each other “love,” and I agree. It’s a practice I hope to start now. In my estimation, once I say in 10 or 12 times, it should become a habit, right?

It’s really not a stretch. I already tell everyone I love that I love them when we hang up the phone or when we say goodbye in person. I have written about that before and how it annoyed my friend, Wendy, until I got her in the habit of saying it too. But calling complete strangers “love” could be a little tougher.

In recent months, I have started something new with my daughter. She likely hasn’t noticed. Every now and then, I simply text her “I love you” out of the blue. That’s not really abnormal for us, but in recent months, it has become more frequent for a reason. Sometime after the first of the year, I realized I would text her things that sounded like I was correcting her or giving unsolicited advice. Once I realized it, I decided to try to keep myself in check, so every time I find myself preparing to send her a text with unsolicited advice, I stop myself and text “I love you” instead. Don’t get me wrong. I still offer advice, but normally, only when we are talking on the phone or in person. So basically, I’m replacing my unsolicited advice and nagging with love messages. It makes me feel better, and I’m sure that, even thought she hasn’t even realized the difference yet, she feels better too. She always returns the message with “I love you too.”

So now I need to implement my plan to call everyone “love.” I’m sure some people will find it odd. Some people might even say, “I’m not your love.” And that’s OK. I will know, deep down, that I’m just trying to be nice and spread joy and love. I know everyone will react differently, because my friend, Mary Ann, and I did a social experiment in Beverly Hills ten years ago. We said “good morning” to everyone we passed on the sidewalk. Some people acted like we were weirdos, but a few hugged us and thanked us. You never know when someone needs some love! I feel like there are lots of people walking around out there who haven’t been called “love” or felt loved in a long time! Maybe just one stranger will appreciate being called “love”? Don’t get me wrong. I’m not going to walk around just saying “hi love” to everyone I see. It will likely be used where I would normally use “sir” or “ma’am.” For example, if someone holds the door open for me as I’m walking into a store, I might say, “Thank you, love!” Or if I’m in a restaurant and my server asks me a question, maybe I answer, “Yes, love.” Maybe I will use it with my friends when they answer the phone, “Hi love!” It is a work in progress. I’ll keep you posted.

Any chance you might want to join me in this plan, love?

All you need is love…love!

by Kelly Mattei

Graduation Season

Graduation season.

Y’all, I’m just glad I don’t have a high school senior graduating this year. I went through that “fun” last year, and honestly, it was exhausting. I know. I know. Lots of people love it. As a southern lady, I’m supposed to enjoy it, but I don’t.

In my opinion, there are two kinds of people in the world: the ones who love ceremonies and those who hate ceremonies. I belong in the latter group. Just like I hate meetings for meeting’s sake, I hate ceremony for ceremony’s sake. I am the person who skipped my own college graduation. Yes, I graduated from college, but I just didn’t feel the need to participate in the “pomp and circumstance.” It seemed so time-consuming, ridiculously formal, and honestly, a little bit corny. While some of my friends were participating in the ceremony, I was hanging out with other friends at our favorite watering hole…raising toasts to each other for getting the job done! Even when I got married, I wondered why we were making it into a spectacle? Why couldn’t we just get married at the courthouse and go on about our business? I didn’t lol need an audience to see me get married. I would have been just as married without the audience. It was a source of great tension for me, and honestly, as grateful as I am to my friends and family who were there, I would have rather gone to the courthouse.

My attitude toward all things “ceremonial” is why I could hardly wait for my daughter’s high school graduation to be over last year. It seemed like “much ado about nothing” to me. Here’s my stance on high school graduation: you’re supposed to graduate from high school. It’s not some grand accomplishment, except under special circumstances. Yes, there are situations in which high school graduation is a big deal, but my daughter graduating from a college preparatory private school in Charlotte, North Carolina? Well, the way I see it: she was supposed to graduate. But all the ceremonies? Senior supper? Baccalaureate? And more? I could have skipped them. I wouldn’t have been heartbroken if she had said, “Let’s leave for vacation early and blow this popsicle stand.” She did enjoy the private parties leading up to and after the event, and I did too, so there were some good things about it…getting to spend time with friends, having a reason to get together, etc. I do love a party, just not a ceremony.

However, I guess I’m in the minority on this, because it seems lots of people get very wrapped up in the graduation ceremony thing.

Today, on Facebook, a friend was posting pictures of her second child in his graduation gown. He’ll be graduating from high school in a few weeks, and she is sad to see the end of his high school career. That’s another way I’m different: I didn’t let the door hit me in the butt on the way out of my daughter’s high school. I was so grateful it was over! I was running as fast as I could! I was ready for that to end. But here’s what I wondered after seeing my friend’s post: How do parents muster up the excitement for their second, third, and fourth children’s graduation? I feel like I learned so much the first time around, and I feel like it would be even less of a big deal to me the second and third times, but since I’m the mother of an only child, I might be wrong?!?

Here’s what I mean: with your first child, many parents think every single stage of childhood is important. If I had a second and third child, I can tell you, I would be much more relaxed about elementary school…and maybe even middle school. Don’t get me wrong. I was never the mom who knew what her child’s assignments were…ever. I always thought school was her job, not mine, but it was very important to me that she take elementary school and middle school seriously. Maybe that’s why I have one child. Maybe God knew I’d be a slacker about school stuff with any subsequent children. I feel sure I would have said, “She doesn’t have any random days off from school in October? Eh…doesn’t matter; she’s only in second grade. We’ll take that long vacation in the middle of the school year anyway.” I actually remember sending her to school in kindergarten or 1st grade with a terrible cough. I thought it was important for her to be there. I received a call from the school nurse, with whom I had become friends, telling me to “come get your daughter.” When I got there to pick her up, I explained to the nurse that it was just a residual cough from a cold she had the previous week. She didn’t feel badly. The nurse said, “Keep her home until that cough is gone.” And I did, but I sweated it a little bit, thinking elementary school was so important. You know what the nurse, who had grown children of her own, knew that I didn’t know? My daughter would be OK even if she missed a week or two of elementary school.

Also, with a second or third child, I likely would have rarely volunteered for anything. It’s likely I would have thought, “My work is done. I’ve done all this once; I’m not doing it again.” Would people have thought my second and third children were motherless children? Maybe, but anyone who had any older kids would have known I had done more than my share the first time around. I was room mother almost every year of lower school. I volunteered everywhere I possibly could. If I’d had second and third children, I might have just slowed down outside the school and pushed them out the car door as I drove off to meet my friends for brunch with Mimosas. Not really, of course, but you get my point.

To all you parents who have children graduating from high school this year: Congratulations. If you don’t have anymore children who still need to graduate from high school, I say, “Congratulations on earning your freedom!” I don’t mean freedom from your child. I mean freedom from the constraints that school puts on your life. And if you enjoy all the “pomp and circumstance” that goes with the whole graduation thing, more power to you! Lots of my friends love every minute of it.

There’s a reason they do all those various ceremonies, but it’s not for people like me!

Also, if you have a child or children leaving for college in the fall, start gathering dorm essentials now. Here are some things I recommend to make move-in a little easier:

Hulken Bag. I ordered two. My daughter has one at college, and I have one at home, but I will take mine down with me when we move her out. They simply make moving lots of items easier. We got large ones. Get them here.

Moving Bags. These are similar to the Ikea moving bags, but I ordered from Amazon, because I thought these were a little bigger and sturdier. They worked great for move-in, and I expect them to work great for move-out too! Get them here. (Keep in mind: these sell out during summer, as families stock up on them, so get yours early.)

Collapsible Wagon. We got one of these for our daughter when she was returning to college after the holidays. It was an easy way for her to get everything from the parking garage to her room. Get it here.

Versacart. This is one my aunt told me about, and it’s awesome! She calls it her “old lady cart,” but it does the job! Get it here.

by Kelly Mattei

Don’t Pick Up the Shoes

Don’t pick up the shoes.

I saw a Facebook post today on a page called Alabama News and Comment. It’s a page from the news division of Alabama’s Radio Station, 101.9 Fox-FM. It appears to be a station out of Birmingham. Don’t ask me how I got to the page, because I have no idea. It was one of many squirrels my brain chased today. And this time, I ended up on Alabama News and Comment, reading a piece about a woman picking up her husband’s shoes. You can see it on Facebook here.

My husband picks up his own shoes, so I don’t think I have ever had to pick them up for him, but it made me think of my parents.

My parents were married for 45 years before my Daddy died. He was young, just 68, and died of pancreatic cancer. Many times, though, during his retirement years, he would take off his shoes in the living room and leave them underneath the coffee table. I’m guessing he usually carried his own shoes to the closet, but it was something I never gave any attention at the time.

And then, in 2006, Daddy died.

We did what families do. We supported each other for a few days, and then my little family returned to Charlotte to resume our lives. We settled back into real life. About a month later, I decided we needed to go visit Mother; she’d had time to rest and recuperate after months of caring for Daddy, and I thought she needed company.

Upon arrival at my parents’ home, I saw Mother standing outside waiting for us, but I didn’t see Daddy. Of course, I didn’t see him, because he had passed away a month before, but his absence hit me hard. I got out of the car with tears streaming down my face, and Mother said, “I should have warned you how difficult your first visit back would be…your first visit without him here.” She knew, because she had lost her own Daddy. It had never occurred to me how the absence of Daddy would take my breath away. But it did.

We all went inside and sat down in the living room, and that’s when I saw Daddy’s shoes under the coffee table. I looked at them, and I looked at Mother. Her eyes met mine. I didn’t even have to say anything. She simply said, “I can’t move them.” I cried again, but I understood. Seeing those shoes where Daddy left them likely made her feel a little like he was still there. It was a small way of tricking her brain into feeling like Daddy was still there…a comfort. As I read the piece on Facebook today, my brain went straight to that time, and I thought, “One day you might want to see his shoes in the living room.”

Life is like that. Sometimes the things we never think we will miss are the very things we miss…or even the things we find comfort in. When our daughter was a toddler and didn’t sleep well, many times I would have to go upstairs and lie down with her. My husband and I shared a doctor at the time (a mistake I won’t make again in this lifetime), and when he was at the doctor, he mentioned it in passing to “our” doctor. The next time I was there, she opted to lecture me about how bad that was for me and for our daughter. It angered me greatly, because frankly, I thought it was none of her business, and soon thereafter, I found another doctor. What did I know that the doctor didn’t know? I knew we all parent differently, and I knew myself far better than she knew me. I knew, in my infinite wisdom, that one day, I would be sad when my daughter didn’t want me around as much. Was it a little inconvenient for me to spend a half hour upstairs helping our daughter get to sleep? Yes, but I loved every minute. And guess what…she’s a freshman in college now who doesn’t need me to help her get to sleep. *Many times, I have wondered what kind of communication that doctor has with her own children…if she has the same great relationship with hers that I have with mine. I actually feel sorry for her and for her children. I know mine trusts me, and some of that trust might just go back to those nights she needed me to be there while she fell asleep.*

If my daddy’s death taught me anything, it taught me that life is not a dress rehearsal. We have to live now and enjoy the little things. When our daughter was a toddler, I would pick her up and carry her in my arms any time she wanted. My friend, Jennifer, and I believed (since we had only children) we should do that, because one day we wouldn’t get to carry them anymore. We wouldn’t know when it was the last time, so we did it every time. No, I don’t remember the last time I carried her, but I know I carried her on my back multiple times after she became too heavy to carry in my arms. And if she asked me to carry her today (she’s 19), I would. You can bet on that.

And as much as it annoys me that my husband can’t resist the urge to open the curtains on the window on my side of the bed, I know that, if something happened to him, I’d likely miss having to go close those curtains when my side of the room starts to heat up from the sunlight.

Enjoy the little things…even the little annoyances.

by Kelly Mattei

A New Cocktail for Me (Diet Cokagne)

A new cocktail for me.

Often, when I go to lunch with friends, I order a glass of Prosecco. It’s light. It’s not too dry. It doesn’t give me a headache. And it’s bubbly. All my friends who lunch with me will tell you that, sometimes, when I order Prosecco, I also order a Diet Coke. I like my caffeine too, so it’s difficult to choose. Therefore, I don’t choose. I simply get both.

However, today, I saw a TikTok about something I had never considered: Diet Coke mixed with Champagne as a single cocktail, and you know what they call it? Diet Cokagne. The video sent me right down the rabbit hole, and I read a few different pieces about it. Tom Hanks, the Academy Award winning actor, appeared on a talk show recently and introduced the host to the combo, a concoction he came up with over the holidays, and the host liked it! Mr. Hanks said he introduced it to his family, and they all liked it too! The mix is 2/3 Diet Coke (or any soda beverage) topped off with 1/3 Champagne…over ice.

Because I read all about it, tonight I had to try it. Now, I like Champagne. Nothing says “celebration” like a bottle of Champagne. However, I really like Prosecco too, because it’s not as dry, and as I mentioned before, it doesn’t give me headaches. I always have bottles of Prosecco in my house, and I always have Diet Coke, so tonight, I made my own Diet Cokagne…er, Diet Cosecco…and it was good. It was really good! Honestly, I’m sure different people will have different interpretations of the beverage, but I felt like it had a little vanilla flavor…or maybe a little like bourbon. I don’t know…it was a little sweet, but it was good! Isn’t that all you need to know? Tomorrow I might try it with Diet Dr. Pepper. What would that be called? A Diet Dr. Pepsecco?

I was on the phone with my friend, Kelli, tonight when I tried it. She’s a regular lunch date, and she has seen me order a glass of Prosecco and a glass of Diet Coke many times. After trying it, I told her next time we go to lunch, I’ll order my usual Diet Coke and a glass of Prosecco, but I’ll also order an extra glass of ice, and I’ll mix my own wacky cocktail at the table. She laughed, but she knows I’ll do it. I told her I will let her try it before I drink out of it, because she’s a bit of a germaphobe.

Here is what I will tell you: try it. If you like to have a cocktail anyway, what is it going to hurt? Or you can just come over to my house for cocktails. I always have charcuterie ingredients, so I can throw together a charcuterie board for us to enjoy with our cocktails. I also always have Diet Coke, but I don’t always have Champagne, so we’ll likely use Prosecco, which I always have. In fact, my husband found bottles of Prosecco at Costco that are just $7. It’s the Kirkland’s Asolo Prosecco, and it’s really good! The bottle has a pretty purple label and purple foil…great packaging. And did I mention it’s just $7??? Get it at your local Costco store. You can read more here.

In March, I will be meeting some of my family for a weekend away, and you can bet your sweet bippy I will be taking the ingredients to introduce my aunt and cousins to this bit of deliciousness!

I can hardly wait to hear what you think of the latest cocktail concoction. It will be served often at my house.

Cheers!

And if you’d like to read more about the Diet Cokagne, you can read another piece here.

by Kelly Mattei

McDonald’s is My Kind of Place

McDonald’s is my kind of place.

I was born in the late 1960s, so most of my childhood was in the 1970s. If yours was too, you likely loved McDonald’s. From the time I was a year old until I was seven, I lived in a little town in Alabama that didn’t have McDonald’s. We had a local hamburger drive-in that was really good, but it wasn’t McDonald’s. We even had a Dairy Queen…not McDonald’s. Eventually, we got a Jack’s, a hamburger place based in Birmingham, Alabama, but we still didn’t have McDonald’s when I moved away. We often went to Pensacola or Mobile for doctor appointments or to shop, so we had McDonald’s then, and it was a treat! I’m not kidding…a treat we could hardly wait to get! Those hamburgers! Those fries! Those chocolate shakes!

When I was seven, I moved with my family to the Mobile area, and we got McDonald’s all the time, because McDonald’s was plentiful in Mobile…I mostly remember the two on Government Street, and the one near the University of South Alabama on Old Shell Road. As kids, we even went to birthday parties at McDonald’s, and those were the best birthday parties! When I was eight years old, they even opened a McDonald’s in Bel Air Mall…a big, huge deal, because that whole wing of the mall started smelling like McDonald’s. To kids back then, McDonald’s was a little slice of Heaven.

One night last week, I craved McDonald’s. It happens occasionally. McDonald’s crosses my mind, and I simply have to have it. That night, I hopped in the car and drove to the nearest McDonald’s, got in the drive-thru line, and placed my order: hamburger, large fries, and a large Diet Coke. The service was quick, and I didn’t even make it out of the parking lot before I started gobbling up the feast from the paper bag. That first bite smelled and tasted like childhood happiness. I can’t explain it, but as soon as I unwrapped that burger, I felt like I was a kid again. And the fries? Well, it doesn’t get better than hot McDonald’s fries. I have known that my whole life.

If you’re anywhere near my age, chances are you have some McDonald’s memories. Maybe you went to birthday parties there. Maybe you ate there after every high school home football game (like I did). Maybe you remember the aroma of those hamburgers and French fries. Maybe you remember the McDonaldland characters and can identify all of them! Maybe you went there with high school friends or stopped there for breakfast on the way to school in the morning.

Sadly, the latest generations don’t seem to appreciate McDonald’s like we did. However, our daughter might be one of the exceptions. She loved McDonald’s Happy Meals as a kid. I took her to McDonald’s because I liked it, so she learned to like it too. Sometimes, we met friends there, so the kids could play in the indoor play area. Sometimes, we went to the two-story McDonald’s in South Park in Charlotte. My daughter, when she was a little girl, called it the “upstairs McDonald’s.” But I think a lot of kids didn’t have the joyful McDonald’s experience because society became health conscious and frowned upon it. Too bad, because kids missed out on that little indulgence. McDonald’s is supposed to be fun, and frankly, I think it’s OK in moderation. Do I want my daughter eating there all the time? No, and she doesn’t. But if she wants some fries from there once or twice a month…enjoy!

Fortunately, my daughter has a friend who told me about the McDonald’s App. If you have any appreciation for McDonald’s and don’t have the app, you’re leaving money on the table! Through the app, you can earn points to use toward future purchases, but you have immediate access to special deals like Free Fry Fridays, BOGO offers, and more! Seriously, if all you like about McDonald’s is their perfectly fizzy sodas, get the app now!

Right now, they have a BOGO order on breakfast sandwiches. They also have percentage off offers on different sandwiches, meals, and beverages. Seriously, if you like their coffee (it’s good) you can use the app for deals on that!

So if you’d like to experience a little childhood happiness, go download the app. You’ll be glad you did, because McDonald’s is your kind of place!