Category / alabama

by Kelly Mattei

Mahjong, Anyone? Prime Day Deals!

Mahjong, anyone?

Have you noticed the Mahjong craze in the US? People have gone crazy over it! If you haven’t learned how to play, you can likely find a friend to teach you or find a local class.

But you’ll need supplies…

Or maybe you already know how to play and own a set, but you want a different set.

During Prime Days, you can find some deals on Mahjong sets and Mahjong tiles. I won’t pretend to know which ones are best for you, but let this serve as your reminder to buy some Mahjong tiles now! There is a huge selection. See the selection at Amazon here.

***We receive commissions on items purchased through our links.***

by Kelly Mattei

Amazon Prime Day Deals for Sorority Rush

Participating in sorority recruitment in the south this fall? Let’s get ready! Here are some deals from Amazon Prime Days that can help you during sorority “rush.”

  • Rush Bag. You’re going to need a bag to carry all your necessities on those hot days. And it’s hot in the south. I highly recommend a nylon bag with a zippered closure to keep your things dry during those inevitable afternoon showers. Get a great Prime Days deal here. It comes in seven colors, so pick one that’s probably easy to find when there’s a sea of bags. I highly recommend putting a luggage tag on it and maybe even an AirTag. I’ll provide links to both below.

  • Apple AirTags. Surely you’re familiar with the concept. Put an Apple AirTag in your bag so you can locate it with your iPhone’s “Find My” app. We have them in all our suitcases, and I have one in my wallet. I need to put one in my daughter’s wallet. I highly recommend you do the same for your college-age kids. Get a 4-pack of AirTags here. Personally, I would add AirTag holders. There’s a Prime Days Deal for that. Get four multicolored ones here. For my daughter’s keys, I got the Otterbox Rugged Airtag holder keychain. Purchase here.

  • Portable Charger. Because your daughter could be out and about all day, make sure she has a portable charger for her phone! Get a Prime Day deal on a great one at Amazon here.
  • Luggage Tag. You don’t need something fancy, but something bright-colored can help her find her rush bag when it’s in a pile. She definitely NEEDS a luggage tag to ID her bag. I highly recommend a colorful, inexpensive 10-pack, so she has extras to put on her real luggage, her school backpack, and more. Purchase here.

  • Mini Travel Umbrella. In the south, it can rain at any given time. Your daughter needs an umbrella that will fit in her Rush bag. I think her freshman roommate’s parents thought I was crazy when I gave the girls umbrellas, but they literally used them every day during rush.There are lots to choose from on Amazon. Get one with great reviews here.

  • Rechargeable Mini Fan. While this is not a Prime Days Deal, it’s inexpensive anyway. This is the one my daughter used. And it’s necessary on those sweltering August days in the south. Save your daughter some agony during recruitment. Get her a fan here.

  • Sharpies. They need to write their names on everything they own when they go to college, and all these things in their rush bags are not exceptions. You can check out the assortment of Sharpie products on Amazon here.

  • Comfy Shoes. Because recruitment goes on and on for days, the girls need to wear some comfortable shoes or slippers when they walk to and from the houses and between parties. They do not wear these into the parties. I recommend some comfortable flip-flops or slipper-type shoes. See some great ones here. Crocs also offers a wide variety of slip-on comfy shoes here.

  • Waterproof Changing Pad. Sounds silly, I know, but if they have to sit on the wet ground, they’ll thank you. Get one here.
  • Insulated Water Cup that closes securely. I know these girls love their Stanley and Yeti cups. If you need to purchase one, there’s a Stanley you can get with a Prime Day Deal here. There are lots of colors offered, but I could only find the one color on the deal. Yeti has one here.

What else will they need for their rush bags? You can see a previous post with links we made about it here. If you just want a quick list of the other things, here you go:

  • Hand sanitizer
  • Deodorant
  • Tissues
  • Breath Strips (no gum…nothing is uglier than someone chomping gum during a rush party)
  • Band Aids
  • Lip Gloss or balm
  • Blotting Papers
  • Small snacks
  • Safety pins
  • Feminine products
  • Painkillers like acetaminophen and ibuprofen and dose(s) of any necessary medications.

If you’d like to see previous posts we’ve made about sorority recruitment in the south, click here.

*Please share this information with anyone you know who is participating in sorority recruitment in the south! And feel free to send us a message if you have any questions about any of the above or anything else!

*We receive commissions on items purchased through our links.

by Kelly Mattei

Prime Days Beauty Deals

Prime Days Beauty Deals

***LOG IN TO AMAZON WITH YOUR PRIME MEMBERSHIP TO GET THE DEALS. Also, as an Amazon Associate, I receive commissions on products purchased through my links.***

Amazon Prime Days are here, and there are some great beauty deals! Here are some of the best ones:

  • Dyson Airwrap Origin and/or Dyson Supersonic Origin Dryer. Anytime you can get a discount an a Dyson hairdryer is a great time. Right now, the Dyson Airwrap Origin is $100 off…a rare deal. You pay $399.99 instead of $499.99 for the three-piece set. Get it here. Or save $80 on the Supersonic Origin Dryer and pay $299.99 here. Could be a great time to purchase a Christmas or Hannukah gift! Or if someone on your list has a birthday coming up…buy today!

Crest 3D White Strips at 35% off! Click here.

  • Nutrafol Hair Growth Supplements. Get 26% off this proven product for visibly thicker hair and scalp coverage…a great deal! Get it here.

  • Mighty Patch Pimple Patches. I know someone who swears by these. If you have a daughter going through sorority recruitment this fall, this could be a great addition to her beauty products. They’re 25% off with Amazon Prime Days. Purchase here.
  • COLOR WOW Dream Coat Supernatural Spray at 30% off! Save over $8 on this product that stops frizz and makes hair shiny! I love this stuff. Get it here.

  • Shark Hair Dryer | FlexStyle Hair Styling System…Regularly $369.99…now $249.99! This is for the whole styling system. The Shark system is normally quite a bit less expensive than the full Dyson System (about $600), and right now it’s even less! You can get this special deal on the Shark System! Get it while supplies last here.

  • IT Cosmetics CC+ Cream – Full-Coverage Foundation I love IT Cosmetics Foundation, and now is time to stock up if you do too! Its 40% off! That’s unheard of! I’m stocking up today. You can stock up here. Or get IT Cosmetics CC+ Cream Illumination – Full-Coverage Foundation With SPF 50 for 40% off here.

  • LAURA GELLER NEW YORK Award-Winning Baked Balance-n-Brighten Color Correcting Powder Foundation I have friends who swear by this foundation for mature skin. Right now, you can get it for 50% off with your Prime membership here.

  • Supergoop Glow Screen. I love it…purchased it a couple of months ago and love it. This stuff rarely goes on sale, but you can get this primer/tinted sunscreen for 20% off on Prime Days here.

  • Oral-B Genius X Limited Rechargeable Electric Toothbrush This is a fantastic deal at 50% off! Get it here.

  • IT Cosmetics Confidence in a Cream – Hydrating & Anti Aging Face Moisturizer I have loved this moisturizer for years, and you (and I) can get it for 40% off with Amazon Prime membership here.
  • Too Faced Lip Injection Maximum Plump Extra Strength Lip Plumper Gloss I cannot express how much I love this product, and during Prime Days, we can get it for 30% off while supplies last! It really plumps. I know, because I use it every day. I also tested it on my hand, and it literally plumped the skin on my hand. Available in five colors. Let’s gooooo! Get it here.

THAT’S NOT ALL! POSTING MORE ALL DAY AND THROUGH THE 11TH! CHECK BACK!

by Kelly Mattei

Good People Are Easy to Find

Good people are easy to find.

Last Thursday morning, I met my friend, Angela, in the Charlotte airport and boarded a plane to Los Angeles. It was the first time the two of us have taken a real trip together, just the two of us, I think. We have taken vacations with our daughters, and we have even taken vacations with my husband, but as far as I can remember, we had never taken a real vacation without anyone else. We have been friends for almost 40 years, so we were overdue. Before we went, we knew we were likely to have a lot of fun laughing, drinking, talking, relaxing, and more, but we had no idea what was ahead of us. We were pleasantly surprised!

It all started when I boarded the American Airlines flight to LAX. I got to my seat and lifted my carry-on bag into the overhead bin. Immediately, a gentleman in the row in front of me asked, “Would you like to trade seats?” I didn’t want to be rude, but I plan my travel ahead of time and pick my seats carefully. I booked the aisle seat on row 2, because I like to be near the front of the plane, but I do not like to sit at the bulkhead. I like to be able to put my handbag underneath the seat in front of me. When you sit at the bulkhead, you have to put all carry-ons, including your handbag into the overhead bin, and I don’t like to do that. Some people might think it’s ridiculous that I feel that way, but I like having my migraine meds, my reading materials, and my earbuds readily available. Therefore, I told the gentleman, “No, thank you, I don’t like sitting at the bulkhead. Sorry.” At about that time, my seatmate arrived, and he was that gentleman’s business partner. The first gentleman in row 1 turned to the woman in the seat next to him and asked if she would switch with my seatmate. She agreed and came back to sit by me.

Before we took off, I told her, “Please don’t hesitate to let me know if you need to get up during the flight. It’s not likely I will fall asleep, but please just let me know, and I can let you out of the row at any time.” I also told her I always get an aisle seat, because I end up going to the bathroom several times, so I understand needing to get up. We exchanged pleasantries. Soon after takeoff, we engaged in conversation. Her story is not mine to tell, but I can tell you this: she is one of the loveliest, most interesting people I have ever met! I can tell you most people would love to meet her, and she has an incredible life story. In fact, you can read her story in her own words, because she has written a book about her different life experiences. Her name is Dr. Niedre Heckman, and the book is called The World Where I Belong: My Quest for Identity As a Black Woman in White Skin. You can purchase it on Amazon (I started reading it last night) here. Like I said, I will not tell her story, but as an introduction, I will tell you she is an African-American woman who is about my age, and she was born with the condition called albinism. I will not pretend to know everything about the condition, but the most obvious characteristic is the lack of pigmentation in one’s skin/hair/eyes. Those of us who don’t have the condition can only imagine what it’s like to grow up with it, but Dr. Niedre Heckman is sharing some insight into her own life and experience. I highly recommend the book, based simply on the fact that I found her to be fascinating. She is most kind and wants good things for other people. We can all learn something from her. Highly recommend her book! That good person (#1) was easy to find!

It was an incredible start to the weekend! When we arrived at baggage claim in LAX, I introduced my longtime friend (40+ years!), Angela, to Dr. Heckman, and she walked away with the same impression. It was foreshadowing, I believe, for the rest of the weekend. Our meeting set the tone for a weekend with great people.

The next day, we opted for a late lunch in our hotel’s largest restaurant. We had a great table for people watching, one of my favorite hobbies. I was not disappointed that day. We were lingering over cocktails after lunch when a couple came in and sat at a table nearby. I noticed they were taking pictures, so I motioned to the gentleman that I would be happy to take pictures for them. He misunderstood my poor attempt at sign language and came over to our table, asking, “Do y’all want me to take your picture?” I said, “No, thank you! We were offering to take yours, but did you just say ‘y’all’?” He said, “I did! I’m from Alabama!” We said, “We are too!” (I was born in Florida but grew up in Alabama before moving to Charlotte 25 years ago.) After some discussion, we figured out this charming southern gentleman grew up with someone I know in Charlotte! We had a great time chatting with him and his friend…day made! Oh, we also got a glimpse of a few celebrities, one of whom even impressed my college-age daughter! Angela and I were most impressed by the lovely people we spent time with on that beautiful, sunny afternoon. What a great “small world moment”! And another good person (#2) who was easy to find!

The next afternoon, we had a lunch reservation at one of my very favorite restaurants ever. We were welcomed warmly by the manager, whom I had met on a previous visit. He has a positive, uplifting spirit and a genuine warmth about him, so I was thrilled to see him again. I introduced him to Angela, and we enjoyed talking with him. The food was fantastic (as always), and the whole experience could not have been better. Why? Because the staff at the restaurant was attentive; they were friendly and made us feel special! Woot! Good person (#3)…easy to find.

From there, we went to a scheduled shopping session at a store on Rodeo Drive. I love shopping with a particular gentleman who works there, because I have known him for years. I first met him probably 10 years ago when he was working at another store in the area. After COVID, I lost track of him, as he moved back to his hometown. However, last June, I walked into this particular store with my daughter and a friend, but without an appointment. The doorman called for an associate to meet us at the door, and out walked my old friend from the other store! I had found him! We agreed it was a God moment…I cried. Now, every time I’m in town, I shop with him, and I’m thrilled to know he is doing very well. My visits with him (and sometimes my purchases) always put a smile on my face. Good person (#4), easy to find.

But wait! There’s more! Saturday night, Angela and I had a reservation at another of my favorite restaurants, but we weren’t terribly hungry. We were also feeling a little lazy. For a brief moment, we considered canceling our dinner reservation, but finally decided to rally and go. We arrived at the restaurant right on time, and the hostess said, “Ohhh! I have the perfect table for you!” She whisked us off to a table that was, indeed, the perfect table. We could see the whole room! There was a fun birthday group at the table next to us. There was excitement in the air! Our server approached our table almost immediately. When I looked up at her, she asked, “Do I know you from somewhere?” I looked at her, puzzled, and replied, “Maybe here?” She said, “Maybe Bel Air?:” I recognized her then, but it was one of those rare moments I didn’t recall the name…”What is your name?” She replied, “Francesca.” Y’all. I met her when I dined at a restaurant in Bel Air five years ago! She was my server, and the next time I went, a year later, I requested her. This time, she recognized me first. I’m usually the one who remembers all the names and faces, so I was absolutely flattered that she remembered me! She literally said to me, “I have thought of you many times and wondered if I would ever see you again! When I saw you walk in, I recognized you immediately!” I was so happy to reconnect with her, and now, I will request her every time I go to this particular restaurant. Good person (#5) easy to find.

Sunday night, we had dinner with a friend we have known for several years. We have always known he’s a good person. We stumbled upon a friendship with him years ago.

Just goes to show you…good people are easy to find…if you just keep your eyes and ears open. It was a great vacation with a great friends and lots of new friends.

by Kelly Mattei

All This Drone Talk…

All this drone talk reminds me of the 1970s, when we were obsessed with UFOs, or spaceships/flying saucers. Maybe everyone wasn’t obsessed with them, but it sure seemed like it when I was a little girl. I was terrified I might actually see one, and then, there was a high school bonfire.

I went to the TR Miller High School bonfire in Brewton, Alabama, with my neighbor friend, Allyson, and her family. I’m not sure what year it was, but it was probably the fall of 1974, which means I was seven years old. Allyson had an older brother who played on the football team, and I was lucky she invited me to the bonfire with her. Her mom drove us there in her two-tone, gray and black Buick (it was the first car I ever rode in that had electric windows!), and we were having a great time, when suddenly, as I remember it, things got a little crazy. I don’t know if a helicopter flew over, or if someone just pretended they saw a flying saucer, but it seemed people were screaming, “UFO! UFO!” To me, it seemed like everyone started running. My memory could be skewed. I was just seven years old, after all, and honestly, someone might have just played a trick on us. When things got crazy, Allyson and I ran to her mother’s car and dove into the back seat. It seems her brother eventually came to the car and rode shotgun, and Allyson and I talked about UFOs all the way home. I feel sure I went inside telling my family about the UFO at the bonfire and how we had heard someone say UFOs liked bonfires. I was seven. Someone did say that, and of course, I believed it, because why wouldn’t some Martians want to hang out at a high school bonfire in Brewton, Alabama? There are a lot of nice people in Brewton, and back then, there was Bracken’s Big R Restaurant, where you could get a great burger or some fried chicken. It would have been worth the trip for some Martians, for sure.

I’m not saying these drones aren’t real. I believe drones could be flying over us, and I have no idea who would be piloting them. I know that, a couple of years ago, a drone flew over my backyard while I was out there at night. It wasn’t one of these big drones they’re talking about now. It was a small drone someone probably got for Christmas. It was likely just someone from another house in the neighborhood, but it gave me the heebie geebies that someone was watching me in my own backyard. I went inside promptly.

I read today on the Next Door app that people in Charlotte are saying they are seeing the big, SUV-sized drones. Some have even posted some pretty impressive, believable videos. Maybe there are massive drones hovering overhead suburban South Charlotte? I guess anything is possible. We do, however, live in a city with a pretty busy airport, so there are lots of planes landing and taking off all the time. Just last night, I was driving down the winding Elm Lane and saw a bright light overhead. Once I got to the traffic light, I looked at my FlightAware app and saw it was just a plane coming in from Pittsburgh. In fact, I spend a lot of time outdoors on the patio at night, checking out the stars, the satellites, and yes, the airplanes, and so far, I haven’t seen a drone as big as an SUV. One night, however, I did freak out a little when there was something with blinking lights flying overhead making a whirring sound. Even our Doberman was freaked out! Finally, after standing there watching for a minute or two, I realized it was a blimp. It was difficult to identify in the dark until it was directly overhead.

Right now, I’m still waiting to see a drone as big as an SUV hovering overhead. I’m not sure I want to see one, but if one appears, I’m sure I will react much like Allyson and I did in 1974. I will run for my life!

by Kelly Mattei

Epic Deal on Colorful Rolling Tote Bag

Epic deal on colorful rolling tote bag!

Y’all, this awesome tote bag from Simply Southern has spinner wheels, comes in some beautiful colors, and is less expensive than some competitors’ rolling totes! And did I mention it’s collapsible? This makes a great gift for the college student, the team mom, or just about anyone! I keep one in my car, so when I arrive home with a bunch of stuff, I can wheel it all into the house with this tote! As of writing, the turquoise and silver are priced at $64.99…a great price on an awesome gift!

  • Simply Southern Collapsible & Colorful Rolling Tote Bag – Perfect Shopping Bag on Wheels for Women, Mothers, Families, Grandmas – Bag on Wheels for Easy Transportation. I really love the pink and turquoise versions of this bag, but I like the silver and black too! Purchase any of them or all of them here!

  • But wait! There are more colors! How about orange or red? Purchase here.

  • Or maybe someone on your list would prefer a floral??? Yes, a floral! It’s glorious! See it here.
  • There’s even a color they call Rainbow, but to me, it looks like a holographic pink. It’s beautiful! Purchase here.

They’re all great! You just have to decide which color to give which recipient!

HAPPY SHOPPING!

***Sponsored ad. We receive commissions for items purchased through our Amazon links.***

by Kelly Mattei

What Is That Noise?

What is that noise?

Over the past week or so, I have seen several posts on Facebook in which people ask about a strange, “otherworldly” noise in the Charlotte area. “It sounds like what I think a UFO would sound like!” Well, it’s not an alien spacecraft. It’s the cicadas emerging. I know. They usually sound “buzzy,” but when they are emerging in abundant numbers, and when they aren’t right beside you, they can sound like what we think an alien spacecraft would sound like…kind of a pulsating whir.

I grew up in Alabama. We saw them every year. I know you’re thinking, “But they don’t emerge every year!” No, each brood doesn’t, but in Alabama, there is at least one brood emerging every year. In North Carolina, we only have nine broods, but in Alabama? Twenty! It’s a lot like snakes. In Mecklenburg County, we only have one species of venomous snake, the Copperhead. In Alabama? Six! Yes, six! Three different types of rattlesnakes, the Copperhead, the Cottonmouth (water moccasin), and the coral snake. If you live somewhere that you’ve never had to worry about venomous snakes (Hawaii, Maine, Rhode Island, or Alaska), then it could be a little shocking to encounter a snake elsewhere and wonder if it’s venomous or not. When you grow up in Alabama, if you spend any time outdoors as a child, you will encounter snakes. You will also learn how to identify them, and you will likely play with the exoskeletons of cicadas.

Growing up, we referred to the empty cicada exoskeletons as “locust shells,” even though cicadas and locusts aren’t even related. And yes, we played with the empty locust shells…wearing them on the tips of our fingers, collecting them, lining them up…nature fun. Somehow, we innately knew live cicadas are harmless creatures. We didn’t fear them at all, but then, we had other things to worry about, like all those snakes, alligators, gnats, and love bugs…and those giant horse lubber grasshoppers, which aren’t harmful, but they’re giant (up to four inches long) and downright scary looking. We didn’t really play with cicadas, just the “shell,” but we had no fear of the actual insect. It was just a normal part of spring/summer for us. We always knew there would be heat, humidity, and creatures.

So yes, that “otherworldly” sound you’re hearing around your house in Charlotte right now is the emerging cicadas…nothing to fear. Just be thankful we aren’t hearing other scary sounds. At least we won’t step into our backyards and hear the “rattle” of the rattlesnake. We don’t hear the throaty rumble/growl of the alligator or the defensive hiss of the horse lubber grasshopper. We’re also lucky we don’t have to deal with gnats when we sit by the pool, and we don’t have to wash the dead love bugs off our cars. And while we have red fire ants in North Carolina, they still aren’t as plentiful as they are in Alabama. Don’t get me wrong. I loved growing up in Alabama, and I love that I am familiar with all those creatures…a little too familiar with fire ants, since I learned I was allergic to them at a very young age, resulting in a trip to the hospital. I survived and gained a healthy respect for ant “beds,” which is what we called ant hills when I was growing up.

Those cicadas don’t seem so bad now, do they? They won’t hurt you. They don’t bite. They’re just a little noisy for a little while, and then they’ll be gone. Enjoy what we refer to in Alabama as “the sound of summer.”

***Amazon has some books about cicadas and some of the other creatures I mentioned above. For a book about venomous US snakes, click here. For the National Wildlife Federation Guide to Insects and Spider & Related Species of North America, click here.

***Wondering about some of the Alabama creatures I mentioned above? Here are some photos:

^^^Lubber Grasshoppers^^^

^^^Love Bugs^^^

^^^Red Fire Ants^^^

^^^Venomous Snakes of Alabama^^^ (photo from Outdoor Alabama)…for more info on venomous snakes of Alabama, click here.

by Kelly Mattei

College Fall Break

***I originally posted this in 2022, when my daughter was a freshman in college. She is a sophomore now, and this year, she has a fall break. It is much needed after midterms. To all the moms of college freshmen out there: hang in there! I can hardly wait for her to come home later this week.***

College fall break.

This morning, I walked into a local breakfast place and literally ran into a girl my daughter went to high school with. I was surprised to see her, because she is supposed to be in college hundreds of miles away. I’m sure I audibly gasped before giving her a big hug. She quickly explained that she is home for fall break and asked, “When is Milly’s fall break?” I replied, “She doesn’t get one.” Her eyes widened and she asked, “What? I thought everyone did!” Well, my daughter doesn’t.

When we moved her into college, I knew she wouldn’t get a fall break. I had already looked ahead at the academic calendar for fall, and I realized that while she doesn’t get a fall break, she does get a full week for Thanksgiving, which I think is ideal. I thought nothing of it. Why does anyone need a fall break, anyway? It never occurred to me that she might need it! Did we have those extra days off when I was in college? I don’t remember.

But she does need a fall break.

As it turns out, it’s midterm exam season, and she is worn out. She was sick with the flu last week. She is ready to come home and sleep in her own bed for a few days, but she doesn’t have a fall break. I’m going down to the football game this weekend, and I thought that might be enough to carry her through to Thanksgiving, but no…she wants to come home for a weekend visit.

So yesterday, I purchased her an airline ticket to come home next weekend. After completing the purchase, I said, “Maybe I should just stay home this weekend, since you’re coming home next weekend?” She said, “No. Please come to the game!” That’s all it took. As soon as I heard those words, I knew I was definitely going. Done! As parents, we know that as our kids get older, every minute with them is valuable, and if she wants some time with me, I’m taking advantage of it. So I’ll be leaving Friday. I’ll return to Charlotte Sunday, and next Friday, I’ll pick her up at the airport in Charlotte. She’s needing some Mama and Daddy time…and that’s OK.

She simply needs a reboot. And she needs to sleep in her own bed. And she needs some of her favorite foods…Mama’s grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup, some roasted veggies, cake batter popcorn (recipe here) and some homemade mashed potatoes…not all at the same time, of course. I’ll be going to the grocery store next Wednesday to make sure we have everything I need to make her favorites. And we will sit outside and have a charcuterie board for dinner Saturday night before she goes out.

I have a friend who has a daughter who is a sophomore at another college, and I vividly remember her telling me that when her daughter was a freshman, she would come home occasionally, and she seemed most excited about sleeping in her own bed. In fact, my friend said her daughter made “snow angels” in her bed the first time she came home from college, saying, “I’m just so happy to be back in my BIG bed!” Those twin beds in college dorm rooms are adequate, but who doesn’t love their own big bed in their own bedroom at home?!? Our daughter has slept in a queen bed in her own room her whole life, so I’m sure she is excited to sleep in her own big bed, with her own blankets and her own sweet dog, who misses her terribly.

So no, she doesn’t get an official fall break. She won’t get an extra two days off to come home, but we will create a fall break for her. She will be home for about 52 hours (the same amount of time I was in labor with her, by the way…don’t ask), and we will try to make it as special as possible. We will try to make her comfortable. We will give her lots of hugs. We will prepare all her favorite foods. And we will just love her. There’s no doubt in my mind that we will be happy to be home. We are thrilled to have a weekend with her…which will really be just a few hours that we get to see her, but that’s OK. There will be lots of hugs.

And she just called to tell me we will have a bonus! A friend is coming home with her! We will have lots of extra laughs, and I am going to call the friend’s mom right now to find out what her favorite foods are!

They just didn’t want to wait till Thanksgiving. We will welcome them with open arms and help them “reboot” to finish out the weeks till Thanksgiving. Sometimes, college students just need to be loved.

Come home, baby!

by Kelly Mattei

Mom, I Feel Terrible

Mom, I feel terrible.

If you followed me last year, you know that in September, I received a call from my daughter, and the first words out of her mouth were, “Mom, we’ve been in an accident.” I was in the Bahamas, and she had flown home from college for the weekend. It was not the call I wanted to receive. Fortunately, everything turned out fine.

She is now in her sophomore year and has been back at school since August 2…about four weeks. She had to go back early to prepare for sorority rush for a week before actual rush the following week. In the middle of rush week, I received a late night phone call. When I picked up the phone, she immediately sad, “Mom, I feel terrible.” I could hear that she was trying to choke back tears, so I jumped out of bed and went to the loveseat in the keeping room off our kitchen, so I could talk with her without disturbing my husband. By the sound of her voice, I knew she really felt terrible.

It broke my heart. If you’re a mom who has ever had to deal with a sick child far away, you get it. It’s absolutely heartbreaking to hear your tearful child telling you had badly she feels. I looked at the clock: 12:35am. And I started asking questions. “What’s wrong? Is it your stomach? Where does it hurt? Do you have fever?” You know…all the questions you ask when you are a mom. I seriously considered just getting in the car and going down to her university 450 miles away, but I had taken some sleep meds, so that wasn’t an option. It might have been an overreaction if I had done it, too.

She explained that she was experiencing nausea and chills. First, I needed to make sure it wasn’t appendicitis. I asked if she had pain in her lower abdomen. No, just nausea. I told her to lie on her left side and extend/flex her right hip. No pain. I told her to stand up for just a minute and jump up and down. No pain. Since I felt pretty sure it wasn’t appendicitis, I recommended she take some nausea meds. I asked, “Can you check your temperature before you do that, though?” “I don’t have a thermometer.” What?!?!?!?! I know I sent one last year, and I thought it was still in her medicine box, but I guess not. Note to self: send the girl a thermometer.

She was sick for a few hours…like really sick. I went back to my bed to grab my pillow and a blanket to take to the sofa and kept her company over the phone while she sat in the bathroom floor. Poor baby. It is so hard to know your child is sick so far away! She finally went back to bed and fell asleep at about 4:00am. I encouraged her to sleep most of the next day, even though she would miss one day of rush festivities. She was exhausted and did not argue with me. No one else living with her ever got it, so maybe it was foodborne? (When she felt better, I talked with her about making sure food is cooked properly…and how, in a restaurant, if the food isn’t really hot, don’t eat it.) We will likely never know, but I do know I need to make sure her medicine box has everything she needs! Wondering what that might be? Here are some suggestions:

  • Thermometer. Honestly, I always knew mercury thermometers were accurate, but we can’t get them anymore. I don’t always trust a digital thermometer, but to see the one I trust most, click here.
  • Band-Aids. I prefer actual Band-Aid brand. I like to have some blister Band-Aids and some flexible fabric ones. See a variety here.
  • Tylenol and Motrin. They need both. Tylenol is good for fever and headaches. Motrin is great for body aches and inflammation.
  • Flonase.This is my go-to when we have sniffles or cold symptoms. It doesn’t make me sleepy like some cold meds, but you can take it in conjunction with your preferred cough and cold meds. Order here.
  • Benadryl tablets. If your college student thinks he/she is having a mild allergic reaction, Benadryl can halt the reaction. Get tablets here.
  • Benadryl cream or spray. Insect bites? We use Benadryl cream and/or spray for wasp stings, bee stings, ant bites, even mosquito bites. Get cream here and spray here.
  • OFF insect repellent. Two people in Alabama died recently from Equine Encephalitis. Since our daughter is in college there, I sent her some OFF! Spray and told her to use it. Get it here. I will be taking some in a spritz bottle with me when I vacation in Panama in October. Get the spritz bottle here.
  • Tums and Pepto-Bismol. Get Tums here. Get Pepto here.
  • Cough and Cold Meds. Since everyone seems to have their own preferences on this, I’m not going to recommend a certain brand. Just make sure your college students has some cough and cold meds on hand.
  • Alcohol wipes. Get them here.

Basically, you want to make sure they have anything they might need. And yes, a thermometer is one of those important things…duh!

I hope you don’t ever receive one of those middle-of-the-night calls.

by Kelly Mattei

OK, Moms, It’s Sorority Rush Time

OK, moms, it’s sorority rush time!

Sorority rush (also known as recruitment) is getting underway at big schools all over the south. A couple of places have already finished, but lots are just getting started. I remember it well from last year, when our daughter participated in recruitment. Is it fun for the girls? For the most part, yes. Is it stressful for the girls? Sometimes, yes. But I discovered last year that it might be more stressful for the moms. It’s true.

First, let me say that most big, southern schools employ a method that ensures the greatest number of matches. Therefore, at most big schools in the south, the attrition rate during recruitment is relatively low, and girls dropping out on their own account for a large percentage of the attrition. For example, at one large southern school I’m familiar with, about 92% of the girls finish the process with a bid(invitation to join) from a sorority. Of the other 8%, most are people who dropped out on their own. Some had GPAs that didn’t meet the chapters’ requirements. It’s not like it was back in the 80s or even the 90s…girls aren’t just getting dropped left and right, all willy nilly, and at this particular school, no one gets dropped after Preference round, which is the last night of recruitment. If you make it to Preference, you are guaranteed a bid somewhere.

With that out of the way, let’s talk about how Mom feels during the process. Mom, you might feel stressed. You might feel numb. You might feel out-of-the-loop. You might feel helpless. And all of that is OK. You feel what you feel. It’s hard to be away from your daughter when she is going through something stressful. I was talking with a friend earlier, and we discussed what we would put in a Mom’s rush bag, if there were such a thing. Maybe you’ll want to create one from this list? You can keep it next to your favorite chair:

  • Aromatherapy Shower Steamers. Make your shower/bathroom feel like a spa with scents like lavender, rose, mint, and more! It’s relaxing. See them here.
  • Olly Sleep. If you’re having trouble sleeping, maybe some melatonin will help. I love Olly Sleep gummies. Check with your doctor before taking supplements. Purchase here.
  • Bath Pillow. A hot bath can be very relaxing, but only if you’re comfortable in your tub. A bath pillow can make a big difference. Get it from Amazon here.
  • Easy read. Throw yourself into a good book. If you want to read an easy-to-read novel about rush, there’s Rush by Lisa Patton at Amazon here.
  • Relaxing Face Mask. Forcing yourself to relax with a face mask is a great thing. I prefer ones containing lavender, but you might like others. Choose one here.
  • Favorite healthy snacks. I think every mom needs to have some healthy snacks handy, but especially when times are stressful. Drop some of your faves in your “mom rush bag.”

Last year, I had several friends whose daughters were participating in recruitment at the same time mine was. We would talk, and often, we had different stories to share. We didn’t tell each other which houses/chapters our daughters were visiting, but we did share anecdotes…like when one of our daughters almost walked out of her dorm and to a sorority houses wearing two different shoes. Another girl sat in gum between parties. We all shared some laughs, but if one mom cried, we all cried. If one mom was being particularly funny, we all laughed. Thank God we had each other to lean on.

The recruitment process is not easy. There’s so much anxiety…daily anxiety. Add in the pure exhaustion that comes from walking from house to house in summer heat. Add in the emotional exhaustion. It’s a lot. Plus, many of the girls are away from home for the first time.

But here’s one thing to remember when talking to your daughter:

Never let her see you sweat.

If your daughter calls you crying, resist the urge to jump into the pool of tears with her. It’s easy to dive right in there, but your daughter needs you to be strong for her. She needs you to be the voice of reason. Personally, at our house, if I can hold myself together, everyone else does too. So remember that if your daughter calls you crying one morning after receiving her invitations for a round, saying she got dropped by her very favorite house. Let her cry for a minute, but remind her that she needs to dry up those tears and put on a happy face for the next house. She needs to be reminded that the chapters that kept her really want her…they kept her for a reason. She needs to keep moving forward, and you might have to encourage her to do it. Tell her to take a deep breath and “pivot.” She’s going to be OK. (And you are too, Mom.) It might seem like her world is collapsing right now, but it’s not. This is just a blip on the radar. Remind her there are great girls in every chapter; it’s true.

There will be some girls who simply decide sorority life is not for them. Or maybe they just hate the process. Or maybe they have had enough. Whatever the reason, it’s OK to drop out of recruitment, but only after giving it a real effort. Don’t drop out on a whim. And if your daughter simply needs to drop out, you need to assure her that she has to make the best decision for herself.

As for maintaining your own sanity, a glass of wine could be your friend! Or some exercise. Or some sunshine. You got this, Mom.