Tag / daughter

by Kelly Mattei

Halfway Through Sophomore Year

Halfway through sophomore year…

Our daughter just returned to college after being home for a few weeks for the holiday break. We loved having her, and I think she enjoyed being here, for the most part, but she was more than ready to get back to school. I could tell she was getting fidgety about being here too long.

And you know what? As much as I miss her, I am thrilled she wanted to get back to school.

We were fortunate to have a fun night last night. Somehow, the three of us ending up sitting in the keeping room off the kitchen with all three of our dogs, laughing and talking about anything that came to mind. I don’t know how long we laughed and talked, but it was a great way to end the break…on a very positive note. That’s not to say we didn’t get on each other’s nerves here and there while she was home. Of course, we got on each other’s nerves a few times. My mother used to say, “No house is big enough for two women.” My mother was a wise woman, but since our daughter is still our baby, our house is still big enough for all of us. While we annoyed each other a few times, the holiday break was full of positives for our little family. Ending it with an impromptu family. night was perfect.

Today, she drove the 450 miles back to school, and a friend rode with her. I will admit that I checked on them several times, and they even called me to ask some questions about the route. Each time my phone rang, I answered with, “Is everything OK?!?” I got questions like, “What’s a safe place to stop for a bathroom break?” I told them to pay attention to the signs and don’t take the exit if the signage isn’t good. Some generally safe places to stop are Chick-fil-a and even Starbucks, but if they don’t feel safe, don’t stop. Another question? “Should I go straight through Atlanta or get on the bypass?” I told her to just go straight through, and it worked out perfectly. She was on the other side of town in no time. Fortunately, her car gets pretty good gas mileage, so they were able to drive the whole 450 miles without filling up. That’s a big relief, because I don’t need to worry about her standing outside the car, filling it up with gas…and being a sitting duck.

We probably won’t see her for about two months, when we visit for Parents’ Weekend, and that’s OK. If she needs us, we can get there pretty quickly, but we just want her to be happy. She is already making plans to attend some basketball games and gymnastics meets this week, so good times are ahead for her! They’re ahead for me too, as I have a trip with a friend coming up this weekend!

If you have a freshman who is returning to college right now, one thing I can tell you is that, for me, it did get easier to send her back this year. She is established at her school and has friends. She is happy with her living arrangement. She is doing well in school, and she is making lots of fun plans. Did I get a little emotional yesterday? Yes. I was in a mood, but then I realized I was simply dreading her departure, and once I gave into it, I felt better. A few tears later, I felt better.

Before I know it, her sophomore year will be over, and she will be halfway through her bachelor’s degree requirements! Time flies, and I’m just happy she’s having fun!

by Kelly Mattei

Moms Make Things Happen

Moms make things happen.

I just read an article in Inc. Magazine about how United Airlines lost a teenager’s luggage containing $2000 of lacrosse gear and how her mom took matters into her own hands to get it back. Because her daughter had put an Apple Air Tag tracking device in her bag, Mom could see the bag was at baggage claim in Chicago, even though the airline said it had never left Baltimore. Tired of waiting for the airline to solve the problem, she cashed in some frequent flyer miles to fly from her home in Denver to Chicago, where the bag was sitting in unclaimed baggage area, retrieved the bag, and took the bag home with her. You go, girl! You can read the article here.

I have to tell you: I wasn’t surprised one bit to read that a mother who didn’t trust the airline to get the bag back to her daughter was the one who solved the problem in her own way. Moms make things happen. No, not every mom could or would go to extremes to help their kids, but lots of us would. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean helping them in ways that will hurt them. I don’t mean doing their homework. I don’t mean posting on the college parents’ page asking for tutors for their college student or trying to help them find friends. I don’t mean rescuing them from every bad situation. Kids need to learn to handle things on their own. However, sometimes a teen is not equipped to handle something.

And that’s where Mom comes in.

I truly believe being a mom is the single most important job in the world. Sure, we need a president. We need doctors. We need coaches and teachers, but Mom? A good mom is multi-talented and has knowledge about lots of things. A good mom nurtures, acting as a nurse. A good mom listens, acting as a counselor. A good mom encourages, acting as a coach. A good mom teaches, acting as a teacher. A good mom protects, acting as a security officer. A good mom guides, acting as a captain. A good mom instills morals/beliefs, acting as a spiritual leader. A good mom nourishes, acting as a chef. A good mom puts in the time. A good mom does it all. A good mom makes things happen.

One thing I know for sure: my daughter knows I always have her back. I always have her best interest at heart…just like my mom did before I lost her six years ago. She knows I will hop on a plane to help her. She also knows I will not live her life for her. I wouldn’t dream of calling or emailing a college professor. I won’t try to find friends for her or tutors. She has learned her own problem-solving skills by doing things herself…and by observing over the years.

But would I catch a flight to pick up her bag filled with lacrosse gear that had been abandoned by an airline in an airport? You bet your sweet bippy!

So am I surprised the mom in Denver flew to Chicago to fetch her daughter’s bag? Not one bit.

There are, however, some lessons to be learned here. First, when you fly, ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOUR CHECKED BAG IS TAGGED FOR YOUR FINAL DESTINATION…look at the check bag tag and make sure it has “Los Angeles/LAX” (or your destination) on it before releasing it to an agent. Second lesson? Purchase some Apple Air Tags or Tile Pros to stick in your checked bags, so you know where they are! You won’t be surprised to know that, after reading about the girl’s luggage issues, I’m purchasing some Apple Air Tags and some Tile Pros for our family for Christmas. Purchase Tile Pros here. Purchase Apple Air Tags here. They make great Christmas gifts and stocking stuffers!

***As an Amazon associate, I receive commissions on items purchased through the links I provide.

by Kelly Mattei

Holiday Gifts for College Students 2023

Holiday Gifts for College Students 2023.

We have a college student in our family, and she’s pretty easy to buy for at holiday season, mostly because she sends me a list of what she wants/needs. If you have a college student on your Christmas list, you can likely make him/her happy with some of the gifts listed below:

  • Jewelry Stand. College students need items to help keep those tiny rooms organized. A jewelry stand that helps organize necklaces, bracelets, and watches? They can all use it! Get it here. It comes in several colors. For rings? Get the hand-shaped ring holder here. It also comes in several colors.

  • Bronax Cloud Slides. College students like easy-to-use, comfy footwear. Fifteen colors! Slip on. Slip off. Get it here.

  • Samsonite Freeform Spinner Carry-on. I have mentioned this one before in another category (Travel Gifts), but every college student needs a good piece of luggage. They take weekend trips. They go home occasionally. Make it easy for them. Voted “Best Overall Spinner Carry-on” by Travel and Leisure Magazine, the Samsonite spinner is durable, nice looking, and inexpensive. It comes in lots of colors, so you can pick one that’s not just like everyone else’s, making it easy to identify in the overhead bin or in the jetway. Get it here.
  • Travel Bag with Trolley Sleeve. Also mentioned in my Travel Gifts piece. Since I listed the spinner luggage, I’m telling you about a companion piece…a travel bag with a trolley sleeve that sits atop the spinner and doesn’t fall, thanks to the sleeve that goes around the handle of the spinner. I have one, and I love it. Get one for less than $30 here, and pick your color out of several.
  • Hatch Restore 2 Alarm Clock. “No more jarring alarms.” That’s how Hatch markets this product that is a sunrise alarm clock. It’s supposed to support circadian rhythms. Sounds awesome to me! Any college student will love it! It also acts as a sound machine and helps lull the recipient to sleep; that’s what it says! The recipient can also sign up for a Hatch membership that offers meditations, sleep stories, and curated wind-down channels, if desired. This special clock is not cheap, but it gets fantastic reviews. Priced at $199. Get it here.

  • Lap Desk. There’s not much space in dorm rooms or college apartments, so a lap desk comes in handy. College students have been using them for decades; I even used one way back when I was in school! Now, they are new and improved, of course. The best I have found is from LapGear, and it’s priced right at under $40. See it here.

  • Portable Safe/Lock Box. College students get lots of visitors in dorms and apartments. If they have valuables they want to keep secure, this portable safe/lockbox can be a great gift! Even if they just want to lock up their cash or jewelry, this is perfect. With the included cable, they can attach it to a fixed object…like the closet hanging bar. It has a combination lock. Purchase here.

  • Lifestraw Products. I am a big believer in Lifestraw Products. They offer a variety of water-filtering products, including water bottles and pitchers that are great for college students. I have one of the water bottles I purchased when I traveled to Panamá earlier this year, and I love it. See all Lifestraw products here. See their latest filtering water bottles here. And if your college student likes to carry a favorite water cup/bottle, you can get them them the Lifestraw filtering water pitcher for filling the favorite cup/bottles here. Highly recommend.

  • Ugg Slippers. In winter, college students want to stay cozy, and dorm/apartment floors can be cold. My daughter loves her Ugg Coquette slippers. In fact, she likely wears them outside the dorm on occasion. See the women’s Coquette slipper here. Men seem to be a little more picky about their slippers. See the Ugg selection of men’s slippers here.

  • Nestl Reading Pillow. This goes hand-in-hand with the lapdesk we posted above. If they’re going to sit in bed to read or study, they’ll need a good reading pillow. This one gets great reviews. Purchase here.

  • Ninja Portable Blender. College students don’t want appliances that take up a lot of space. Their space is limited, so a portable blender is perfect for those days they want to make a smoothie! I hate seeing coffee shop charges on my credit card, so I told our daughter to get recipes for her favorite smoothies or coffee drinks. The Ninja portable blender is great. My husband uses one regularly. Get it here.
  • Portable Speaker. College students like their tunes. My daughter loves her JBL Flip 5 Portable Bluetooth Speaker. She uses it all the time. Priced at about $90, it provides a big bang for the buck. Everyone knows JBL quality is great. Get it here.

  • Board Games. Sounds silly, I know, but college students love distractions, and they especially love distractions that involve their friends. Yes, people still play board games…especially young people. Some of the old greats are still great. Yahtzee? Click here. Operation? Click here. Uno? Click here. Sorry? Click here. Pictionary? Click here. Scattergories (my personal fave)? Click here.

  • Basketball. Basketball hoops are everywhere on and near college campuses. However, if you don’t have a basketball, it’s a little difficult to start a pick-up game. Give the gift of fun and friendship: a basketball. Get it at Amazon here.

  • Bliss Lights Skylite Projector. College students are under a lot of stress, so they love anything that helps them relax. The Bliss Lights Skylite Projector will do just that! Get it at Amazon here.

  • Jonathan Adler Lollipop Holder. It’s gimmicky. It’s silly. However, friends will think it’s hilarious when they visit your college student, and they’ll love knowing they can grab a lollipop any time! We keep our daughter’s stocked with Tootsie Pops. Get it here.

  • Taco Tuesday Essentials. College students living in apartments love to host friends for Taco Tuesday. Amazon has lots of fun stuff just for that! Your college student will be the host with the most! See a great Taco Tuesday set here. It serves four, but you can purchase more pieces at the link.

Hoping you found some great ideas for the college student on your list. We will likely publish another list for college students in the coming weeks, so stay tuned!

Happy Holiday Shopping!

by Kelly Mattei

Take a Car to College?

Take a car to college?

Our daughter is a sophomore in college about 450 miles away from home. Last year, when she was a freshman, we sent her with her car. Her university does not discourage freshmen from bringing cars, and honestly, we are a driving family. We are people who like to “have our own horse.” Is it control? Maybe. I don’t need to control everyone else, but I do need to control me, and well…the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

The Facebook Parent Pages

Ahhh…the Facebook parent pages…a great source of entertainment. If you have a child who will be attending college soon or is presently attending college, all you have to do is go to the parent pages for the university to see every possible opinion on every possible topic you can imagine. Questions I never even considered asking pop up daily, and often, I get a good laugh. The latest entertainment on the parent pages for my daughter’s college is the discussion of cars on campus. One parent from out-of-state posted, asking if other parents had an opinion about their child taking a car freshman year. You can imagine the responses! Or can you?!? Holy smokes!

Some parents said they didn’t think any child needed to take a car to college. Several said, “I recommend no car.” Others said, “I think no child should take a car freshman year.” Bah humbug! I didn’t say anything in response, but I was thinking, “You do your thing, and I will do mine.” Some complained about parking issues. My daughter lived on campus last year and is living on campus again this year…no issues with finding parking so far. Yes, I had to purchase a $400 parking permit for fall and a $265 one for spring, but that goes with the territory. I actually feel pretty good about that, since it also offers roadside assistance anywhere on campus. Her university definitely doesn’t discourage freshmen from bringing cars. Heck, her university built a parking deck just for the girls who lived in her freshman dorm! Several parents on the parents page were like me and said they sent their kids with cars. One said, “I’m so glad mine has her car!” Amen, sista! Me too! Does that mean I think parents who don’t send cars with their kids are making a mistake? Nope. Nope. Nope. I will say it louder for those in the back: You do your thing, and I will do mine. Clearly, we all do things differently, and you know what? That is absolutely OK.

Do I think a car is a necessity at my daughter’s college? No. Will students survive without it? You bet. Mine would survive without it, but as my mother would ask, “Is that what you want her to do? Survive? Don’t you want her to thrive?” I know having a car is not important to everyone. I have a friend whose daughter didn’t even learn to drive until she had graduated from the University of Florida. It simply wasn’t important to her. Our daughter, however, is happier if she has a car. She is her mother’s daughter. You know how couples have code words for getting out of parties or social situations? You know…your husband somehow works “unicorn” or “confetti” into a sentence at a party, and you know he’s ready to go? Well, in our family, we look at our cars as our own “way out” when we need it. Cars are our mode of transportation, but they are also our “escape.”

Another reason for her to take a car? Our daughter undoubtedly has more driving experience than most people her age. She probably has more driving experience than people who are several years older than she is! Before she got her license, she had 120 driving hours, double the required amount in the state of North Carolina. I insisted that she have double the hours so she would feel comfortable behind the wheel of the car. In the four years that she has had her license, she has likely driven 100,000 miles. Therefore, I trust her instincts and reflexes better than I trust most other people’s instincts and reflexes. Personally, I would rather she drive herself than ride with most other people. For us, there is also the question of how to get back and forth to the airport without a car. The airport is about 45-50 minutes from her university. If she doesn’t have a car, she becomes dependent on friends or a car service that only books as groups on busy days, meaning she, potentially, could have to wait up to two hours after her flight arrives. Nope. For me, that is not an option. I want her to be able to get off the plane, into a car, and back to school as efficiently as possible. And depending on friends to do it? Well, if the friend is not on the exact same flights on the outbound and return, then it might not work out. Even if the friends are scheduled on the same return flight, they might miss a connection (we live in a hub city with nonstop flights, so we won’t), and then there’s a problem. That’s just not something I’m willing to worry about, especially since sending her car is not a hardship on us.

Maybe parents should make a list of pros and cons if they have trouble deciding. It was an easy decision for us, but if I had to make a list of pros and cons for us, I guess it could look like this:

  • Pro: she can get anywhere she wants when she wants
  • Pro: she doesn’t have to ask other people for a ride or take a shuttle service to the airport
  • Pro: she feels more independent
  • Pro: we don’t worry as much about her driving as we would if she were riding with someone else.
  • Pro: she’s happy
  • Pro: she can drive to visit friends or family in other cities (or at other universities) when she wants
  • Con: finding parking for some people, but it hasn’t been an issue for her at all

Honestly, for us, the pros definitely outweigh the cons. I can’t think of another con.

The moral of the story? If you are considering sending your child to college with a car, and the college/university is OK with it, you do what is best for your family. ***If your student’s university discourages it or doesn’t allow freshmen to bring cars, obviously, they shouldn’t take a car.***We all think differently. You might not want to have to worry about the car. You might not want to have to worry about the kid with the car. You might not want to buy the parking pass. Maybe you can’t afford a car to send with your child. Whatever…everyone has their own reasons for doing what they do. That’s one of the great things about parenting: we all make our own decisions based on our own experiences and our own beliefs.

If your student takes a car, I do recommend that he/she has the Life360 app on his/her phone. Browse their plans to see which one works best for your family. My daughter was in an accident last year, and Life360 dispatched police and called her to see if Medic was needed. Life360 also offers roadside assistance with upgraded memberships. Also, I like having extra “roadside assistance” options. I recommend a AAA membership for peace of mind when roadside assistance is needed. AAA follows the member, so even if she is in someone else’s car and needs roadside assistance, they will help. See the AAA website here.

Bottom line: I took a car to college, so I see nothing wrong with my child having hers. We believed she would be happier with a car to drive. Therefore, we sent the car with her. End of story.

****Amended to add that we have set rules for the car:

  • NO ONE else drives it, unless it’s an emergency situation (like my daughter is incapacitated)
  • Try to park under/near a light
  • Call me if any dashboard lights come on
  • Never let the gas tank get below 1/2 tank
  • Know where the wheelocks are
by Kelly Mattei

High School Homecoming Dresses

High school homecoming dresses.

Need a homecoming dress for your high school student? Well, they don’t wear what we wore in the 1980s. Remember how we wore blazers with skirts? We looked like moms on the field…completely covered and wearing a gigantic mum corsage. Honestly, I wish they still did gigantic mum corsages everywhere, but I’m so glad they got away from dressing like moms.

Not gonna lie…the dresses recommended below are the same dresses I recommended for college cocktails, but you might have missed them because you weren’t in the market for a college cocktail dress. I had parts 2, 3, and 4 of that series too, but I’m not going to republish them. If you’d like to see them, you can see part 2 here, part 3 here, and part 4 here. And one more here.

Happy shopping!

  • Superdown Lennie Wrap Dress. Very popular style short dress. Only $34 on sale here.
  • Superdown Vivienne Ruched Dress. Another short style. Only $48 on sale here.
  • Superdown Tamzin Mini. You’ll see lots of Superdown listed, because they are popular and inexpensive. This one is $39 on sale here.
  • Superdown Lena Cowl Mini. These cowl styles have been popular. This one is one sale for $46 here.
  • Superdown Corine Ruched. Cute blue style with ruching. On sale for $43 here.
  • House of Harlow Edie Dress. Two versions of this great dress. See the long sleeve version for cooler nights on sale for $100 here. And the gorgeous sleeveless version for $218 here.
  • Lovers and Friends Kim Midi. This one is a rich shade of green for only $110 here. There’s also a long gown version for $296, in blush or black, here.
  • Elliatt Sloane Long. A lovely satin in seafoam. On sale for $174 here.

by Kelly Mattei

College Cocktail Dresses, Part 1

College Cocktail Dresses, Part 1.

When I went to college in the 1980s, I didn’t own what I considered to be a cocktail dress of my own. I had dresses I had worn for various events, but I didn’t have anything that I equated to a “cocktail” dress. Back then, we couldn’t just order things online. We actually had to go places to shop, and in Tuscaloosa, the shopping wasn’t spectacular. Fortunately, my mother would purchase dresses and mail…yes, mail…them to me. She had a good eye.

My daughter is in college now, and I find that she needs cocktail dresses regularly for various events. Fortunately, the internet is a real thing, and online shopping is super easy, so I’m going to share some great dresses I have found that she (and possibly your daughter) might like…without breaking the budget! I’m also including dresses from Revolve I have seen on college girls. Keep in mind, Mom, that these are not your 1980s cocktail dresses. Seriously…happy shopping!

  • Superdown Lennie Wrap Dress. Very popular style short dress. Only $34 on sale here.
  • Superdown Vivienne Ruched Dress. Another short style. Only $48 on sale here.
  • Superdown Tamzin Mini. You’ll see lots of Superdown listed, because they are popular and inexpensive. This one is $39 on sale here.
  • Superdown Lena Cowl Mini. These cowl styles have been popular. This one is one sale for $46 here.
  • Superdown Corine Ruched. Cute blue style with ruching. On sale for $43 here.
  • House of Harlow Edie Dress. Two versions of this great dress. See the long sleeve version for cooler nights on sale for $100 here. And the gorgeous sleeveless version for $218 here.
  • Lovers and Friends Kim Midi. This one is a rich shade of green for only $110 here. There’s also a long gown version for $296, in blush or black, here.
  • Elliatt Sloane Long. A lovely satin in seafoam. On sale for $174 here.

More to come! I’m loading them as fast as I can!

by Kelly Mattei

Back Pain? Foot Pain? Leg Pain? OOFOS!

Back pain? Foot pain? Leg pain? OOFOS!

This summer, I learned about chronic pain. When I say I learned about it, I mean I experienced it, and that’s how I learned. I mentioned in The Only Pain I Want in My Life is…Champagne, which you can read here. I wrote that piece when I was less that a month into the excruciating pain of sciatica. At the time, I had no idea how long it would last.

Now it’s September, and while the pain is mostly gone (FINALLY!), I still have intermittent pain. It’s not severe, and it’s not constant, thank God, but I feel it sometimes. And yes, I’m still praying about it every day. I thank God every day that it’s better, and I pray every day asking Him to help me get well. I’ve done everything I can think of to help myself with it. I’ve seen multiple doctors. I’ve walked. I’ve done physical therapy. I’ve stretched. I’ve done new exercises as directed by the physical therapists. I’ve taken steroids. I’ve iced my back and heated it. I’ve used a TENS machine. I’ve used lidocaine patches and creams. I’ve worn sneakers instead of heels or sandals with every outfit since May. Seriously, I’ve done everything I can think to do.

And on my neighbors recommendation, I purchased some OOFOS recovery flip-flops. She said she had suffered from sciatica and plantar fasciitis, and the OOFOS helped, so I got some to wear around the house. Going barefoot hurts my back and feet, and after wearing sneakers at home all the time, I finally tried the OOFOS.

I have thanked my neighbor many times since.

I have thanked her and thanked her. I will be traveling to a sunny destination next week, and I will be especially thankful for my OOFOS there. All I can say is buy them if you experience back, leg, or foot pain. Try them. They might offer you some relief. If you’re hurting badly enough, you’re likely willing to try them. No, they’re not the cute, but they’re awesome. To purchase from the OOFOS store on Amazon and take advantage of Prime benefits, click here. You can see their various lines and choose for yourself. I choose the thong-style, but they also make slides, clogs, and even sneakers.

Hoping you have happy feet (and back and legs) soon!

by Kelly Mattei

Mom, I Feel Terrible

Mom, I feel terrible.

If you followed me last year, you know that in September, I received a call from my daughter, and the first words out of her mouth were, “Mom, we’ve been in an accident.” I was in the Bahamas, and she had flown home from college for the weekend. It was not the call I wanted to receive. Fortunately, everything turned out fine.

She is now in her sophomore year and has been back at school since August 2…about four weeks. She had to go back early to prepare for sorority rush for a week before actual rush the following week. In the middle of rush week, I received a late night phone call. When I picked up the phone, she immediately sad, “Mom, I feel terrible.” I could hear that she was trying to choke back tears, so I jumped out of bed and went to the loveseat in the keeping room off our kitchen, so I could talk with her without disturbing my husband. By the sound of her voice, I knew she really felt terrible.

It broke my heart. If you’re a mom who has ever had to deal with a sick child far away, you get it. It’s absolutely heartbreaking to hear your tearful child telling you had badly she feels. I looked at the clock: 12:35am. And I started asking questions. “What’s wrong? Is it your stomach? Where does it hurt? Do you have fever?” You know…all the questions you ask when you are a mom. I seriously considered just getting in the car and going down to her university 450 miles away, but I had taken some sleep meds, so that wasn’t an option. It might have been an overreaction if I had done it, too.

She explained that she was experiencing nausea and chills. First, I needed to make sure it wasn’t appendicitis. I asked if she had pain in her lower abdomen. No, just nausea. I told her to lie on her left side and extend/flex her right hip. No pain. I told her to stand up for just a minute and jump up and down. No pain. Since I felt pretty sure it wasn’t appendicitis, I recommended she take some nausea meds. I asked, “Can you check your temperature before you do that, though?” “I don’t have a thermometer.” What?!?!?!?! I know I sent one last year, and I thought it was still in her medicine box, but I guess not. Note to self: send the girl a thermometer.

She was sick for a few hours…like really sick. I went back to my bed to grab my pillow and a blanket to take to the sofa and kept her company over the phone while she sat in the bathroom floor. Poor baby. It is so hard to know your child is sick so far away! She finally went back to bed and fell asleep at about 4:00am. I encouraged her to sleep most of the next day, even though she would miss one day of rush festivities. She was exhausted and did not argue with me. No one else living with her ever got it, so maybe it was foodborne? (When she felt better, I talked with her about making sure food is cooked properly…and how, in a restaurant, if the food isn’t really hot, don’t eat it.) We will likely never know, but I do know I need to make sure her medicine box has everything she needs! Wondering what that might be? Here are some suggestions:

  • Thermometer. Honestly, I always knew mercury thermometers were accurate, but we can’t get them anymore. I don’t always trust a digital thermometer, but to see the one I trust most, click here.
  • Band-Aids. I prefer actual Band-Aid brand. I like to have some blister Band-Aids and some flexible fabric ones. See a variety here.
  • Tylenol and Motrin. They need both. Tylenol is good for fever and headaches. Motrin is great for body aches and inflammation.
  • Flonase.This is my go-to when we have sniffles or cold symptoms. It doesn’t make me sleepy like some cold meds, but you can take it in conjunction with your preferred cough and cold meds. Order here.
  • Benadryl tablets. If your college student thinks he/she is having a mild allergic reaction, Benadryl can halt the reaction. Get tablets here.
  • Benadryl cream or spray. Insect bites? We use Benadryl cream and/or spray for wasp stings, bee stings, ant bites, even mosquito bites. Get cream here and spray here.
  • OFF insect repellent. Two people in Alabama died recently from Equine Encephalitis. Since our daughter is in college there, I sent her some OFF! Spray and told her to use it. Get it here. I will be taking some in a spritz bottle with me when I vacation in Panama in October. Get the spritz bottle here.
  • Tums and Pepto-Bismol. Get Tums here. Get Pepto here.
  • Cough and Cold Meds. Since everyone seems to have their own preferences on this, I’m not going to recommend a certain brand. Just make sure your college students has some cough and cold meds on hand.
  • Alcohol wipes. Get them here.

Basically, you want to make sure they have anything they might need. And yes, a thermometer is one of those important things…duh!

I hope you don’t ever receive one of those middle-of-the-night calls.

by Kelly Mattei

Making Memories

Making memories.

Yesterday, my daughter and I returned home from a trip to the Bahamas. We went with my college friend and her daughter. Our daughters were born about 17 months apart; her daughter is 21, and mine is almost 20. Our girls go to the same college and have been friends since they were born, but it had been a while since we had vacationed together. It was time to make new memories.

And we did.

Our friends flew out of Atlanta, and we flew out of Charlotte, so we all met at the hotel. My daughter and I arrived several hours late, but it was fine, because we got there safely, and we got there in time for dinner.

We had all sorts of plans for making special memories. We just knew we would celebrate our birthdays each night at the different restaurants where we had reservations. We thought we would likely spend some time on the beach drinking cocktails out of coconuts or pineapples. Oh, we had plans…but we were flexible.

And nothing happened the way we thought it would. In fact, the things we are most likely to remember were completely unplanned…just like always. Sure, we enjoyed our planned dinner on the first night. We even celebrated my friend’s daughter’s birthday. We also overate, so when the staff came out singing Happy Birthday, we didn’t even want dessert. We enjoyed the fountain light show. We spent time in the casino. We made new friends. Lots of the time, the girls did their own thing while we (the moms) just lounged by/in the pool all day. At 56, I’m just not good about baking in the sun for hours in tropical weather. Give me a cocktail and a pool instead…so that’s where we spent our days. The girls found a more “happening” pool (no old people!) to spend their days, and we were so glad they were having fun and making memories together.

We canceled two of our dinner reservations, because the girls made other plans. We (the moms) didn’t mind one bit. And on the last full day, the girls hung out with us in our pool cabana and in the pool. I think they were tired from the day before. We made some great memories laughing in the pool and chatting over cocktails with our girls, since they are both of legal drinking age in the Bahamas.

But the funniest memory we made on the whole trip was completely unplanned…and it was a doozy! In fact, I’m guessing I don’t know many people who can say they share this memory. Lots of people can say they have visited the Bahamas. Lots of people can say they dined at the restaurants and spent time in the casinos. Lots of people can say they met interesting people on vacation. Lots of people can say they got lots of rest or stayed out all night.

How many people can say their taxi ran out of gas on the way back to the airport in Nassau?

Well, we can! We hopped in a cab at the resort, and about five minutes later, the car swerved a little. Then it swerved again. I looked at my daughter, who was sitting next to me in the back seat. She looked confused too. And then our taxi driver said, “I think we are having a fuel problem.” A fuel problem? Like running out of gas?!?! Yep…she got us off the road just in time to run out of gas. The driver hopped out and started trying to flag down other cars, and my friend’s daughter looked at the dash. She said, “All the lights on the dash are on! Should we get out of the car? Or does that just mean we ran out of gas? Is that what happens when you run out of gas?” I replied, “I don’t know! I’ve never run out of gas!” We all laughed. My brain was working, and I knew, if all else failed, I could call my friend who works at the Nassau airport, and she could send a taxi for us, but our driver flagged one down pretty quickly. Crisis averted.

We got out of the taxi and loaded our bags in the other taxi, and we were on our way. The original taxi driver was with us, and she was apologizing profusely. I told her not to worry…we had just made a new memory!

And you know what? It’s true. We will likely remember running out of gas on the way to the airport for the rest of our lives.

Sometimes, a minor crisis becomes a funny memory, and that’s what happened here.

by Kelly Mattei

Preparing for 2nd Year of College

Preparing for 2nd year of college.

Last year, at this time, I was at a completely different place in life. My only child, a daughter, was preparing to leave for her freshman year of college 450 miles away from home…and me…450 miles away from me. Actually, for the most part, I was the one preparing. I’m not even sure she was giving it much thought, as she tried to relish every moment with her friends at home. I, however, was gathering everything I could think of that she might need for a dorm room. I was trying to have everything done, but there were definitely things I missed. You can read my piece titled College Nesting here. *See the bottom of this page for information about things you might need for a freshman dorm room that you haven’t considered.

But here we are, one year later, and it’s amazing how things have changed!

My daughter leaves in less than a month to start her sophomore year. Ask me how many times we have discussed bedding or dorm essentials. Zero. OK, maybe once…when I asked if I need to be worrying about her room in the sorority house, and she told me no. That’s it. I’m not even exactly sure what day we are taking her back! August 3rd? 4th? 5th? I have asked several times, but I get a different answer every time, and I’m not worried about it. We will take her when we take her.

Last year at this time, I was worried she might get homesick. She was fine. I was worried she wouldn’t know how to handle medical emergencies. She had a few and handled them like a pro! I was worried I would miss her so badly that my heart would break. It didn’t. I probably wasn’t as worried as most moms, because I’m just not a worrier, but I had a little bit of worry. I was mostly excited. I was excited about all the new friends she would make. I was excited for her to start classes. And yes, I was excited about becoming an empty-nester.

OK, so maybe “empty-nester” is a little extreme. No, she isn’t living in our nest full-time anymore, but we are paying all her bills. She is self-sufficient as far as taking care of herself, but financially…not one bit. So we are empty-nesters in that we have the house to ourselves most of the time, but the credit card bills would say otherwise.

Moms of college freshmen, if you’re wondering what you’ll be like in one year from now, I can’t tell you exactly, but I can tell you how things have played out for me. Life is a little quieter in some ways but more fun in some ways too. On a day-to-day basis, when our daughter is away at college, life is quieter. I have my hobbies. I have my friends. I have some work to do. I have plenty to keep myself busy, but it’s quieter around our house while she’s at school, for sure. This summer hasn’t been so quiet, because her friends have been in and out of the house all day and night when we have been home. How is it more fun since she left? Well, my husband and I have enjoyed some trips together that we wouldn’t have been able to make if our daughter were still in high school. Back then, we had to plan everything around the school calendar. Not anymore! Now, we just pick dates and go! Does that mean life is more fun without her around? No way! She is way more fun than either of us, so we always love having her with us.

We get really excited every time we get to see her!

Do I miss having my daughter around all the time? I definitely miss my time with her, but we talk everyday. She didn’t come home a lot during the school year, so we were excited when it was time for her to come home for summer! She had only been home for about a week when we remembered how much noisier our household is with her here. We enjoy her friends. We enjoy the silliness. But we don’t sleep as much when she’s here, because she is in and out of the house at all hours. It doesn’t bother me as much as it bothers my “disciplined” husband who believes he should go to sleep and wake up at the exact same time every single day of life. I’m less rigid, so it doesn’t bother me, but I have to listen to him. Ugh. I always say, “He just stays in my ear!” And that’s the truth, but I have to admit he’s getting better.

So what am I doing to prepare for her to go back to school? I’m not doing all the things I was doing last year. I’m not running around trying to find things for the dorm or dresses for sorority recruitment. I’m just relaxing. She’ll take care of it. She has a year of college experience behind her, and she knows what she needs.

***Dorm items you might not realize you need:

  • Clothes steamer. If your daughter is going to school in the south, she needs a steamer. I don’t care if it’s upright or handheld, she needs one. I sent my daughter and her roommate with an upright one, and they used it all the time. Purchase it here. (It’s a quality steamer!) For a quality handheld one, click here. Here’s my theory: an upright, to me, is easier to use, and no one will remove it from the room. A handheld one is much more likely to go missing when someone “borrows” it. Keep that in mind.
  • Bluetooth Speaker. They need it. Just trust me on this. JBL has a whole Amazon store. You can certainly find what you need here. My daughter needed her speaker, but I didn’t think of it in advance, so I took it when I went down for a football game. How did I not know she would need it? Back when I was in school, we played “getting ready” music; surely, they still do that? By the way, my own personal “get ready” music back in the day was Aretha Franklin’s Greatest Hits.
  • Swiffer. Dust bunnies collect fast in dorm rooms. Encourage your student to keep the floor in his/her room with a Swiffer. Purchase here.
  • Disinfecting Wipes. They might not even use them, but if they get the urge to wipe down the surfaces in their rooms, these work great, and they’re disposable! Purchase here.
  • Can and bottle opener. Last year, when my daughter wasn’t feeling well, a friend brought her a can of chicken noodle soup, but she couldn’t open it, because she didn’t have a can opener. Make sure your student has a can and bottle opener! Purchase here. And make sure they know how to use it beforehand! See some other cool gadgets for opening plastic soda bottles and jars here.
  • Laundry backpack. You can get baskets or bags, but laundry backpacks are a lot easier to carry! See them here.
  • Medicines. In the state where my daughter goes to college, people under 19 cannot purchase cold medicines…not even Benadryl! Therefore, I tried to think of every possible medical item she could need, and I packed them in boxes….bandages, Band-Aids, Neosporin, Motrin, Tylenol, Benadryl, Cortisone cream, allergy creams, cold meds, cough meds…and on the labels, I wrote when to use them…for cough, for fever, for headaches, for muscle aches, etc. I used plastic storage bins from Amazon. There are lots to choose from here.
  • Hulken Bag. I tell everyone about these all the time, because we have them, and we use them all the time! They’re especially helpful when taking things to and from the car. For example, if my daughter goes to the UPS Store to pick up packages, she might have several. It can be difficult to carry them all in, but she just puts them in her Hulken bag and pulls them in! See it here. I highly recommend them. And when you’re not using it, just fold it and put it away!